Ryan Matera May 22nd 2013 Service Trip El Salvador Immersion Trip Reflection Paper As I signed up for Fairfield

Preps immersion trip to El Salvador I had nothing but doubts on my mind. For starters, the only reason the school was allowing a sophomore to attend a junior/senior trip was because a good friend of mine, Kevin Duque, was asked to go by Mr. DeRosa. Kevin wanted to go because his older brother had attended the same trip and highly recommended it to him. Kevin then asked me to go so that he would not be the only sophomore there. At first the opportunity seemed amazing, but as I began to think more and more about it I found reasons to not be as excited. For one, the trip would take over my entire February break, which is a treasured time for most Fairfield Prep students. There was also the fact that I knew no one else on the trip besides Kevin. I remember walking in to the first meeting and looking at the people who I now consider brothers as a group of weird juniors or seniors who would never laugh at any of my jokes (the latter ended up being true). But nevertheless I found myself travelling to the airport at some ungodly hour with a best friend, twelve strangers, my rugby coach, and a teacher who seemed to like my brother more than me, along with his sister and her friend. My preconceived notion of what the trip would be like was one of fourteen Prep guys dressed as super heroes with capes (obviously) building a house for a poor El Salvadoran who was weeping tears of joys with her five poor little children hugging us and throwing crowns of flowers over our heads and designating a day of feasting for our gallant deeds. If I could go back

in time I would slap that Ryan across the face for being so ignorant. I should have known this wouldnt be the case after attending the meetings and listening to the senior trip leaders talk about how this trip will change you in unexpected ways. At the time I could have sworn I laughed, but they could not have been more accurate. El Salvador was not as much a service trip as it was an inner evaluation of our pampered lives as citizens of Fairfield County. The change that occurred in El Salvador was not in the form of a new town community center or the painting of a childrens school; rather it was within our minds and hearts. Thus, when I was asked a multitude of times upon my return, What did you do down there? I was lost for a reply. Most people looking for an extreme answer of hard work and many hours of fierce servicing were visibly disappointed when I answered, Well, we planted pineapple trees one day. Though I was called by our group leaders to describe the indescribable, it was often difficult to portray the revelation we experienced. A typical day for us consisted of hearing from a different group of people, whether it was a middle-aged man working at the cooperation for his family or the 18-year-old Rosie attending college to be able to make a better life for herself. These people each offered different insight on topics ranging from true generosity and the happiness of simplicity to communism and immigration here in the States. Eventually we had the ability to place ourselves in the lives of the Salvadoran people, and our lives back home seemed so superficial and filled with things that we will never need. After examining the materialistic things which we revolve our lives around, it suddenly became so clear to me as to why there was so much sadness in our world. It was as if all happiness was a veil of a deepening sorrow caused by attachments to things that will eventually leave us. It seemed odd to me that I had never thought of the simple tactic to simply let go of what caused our grief. Prior to the trip I was along side with the group of people who

were confused on how such a deprived person could find happiness in life. I was in disbelief at the amount of virtue and hardcore faith there was surrounding them. They all attended church every Sunday, something most Prep students can not say for themselves, but they all go beyond that, and their faith seeps out into their everyday life. Weekly, several members of the community get together with a priest and discuss random topics about their religion. The week I went it was about balancing faith and happiness, and students were reminded to not only turn to God when times were tough, but also when they were joyous. It was more than talks about God, however. It was not uncommon to be having a conversation with a local when you suddenly find yourself discussing your religion. Their faith was in everything they did, acts both selfless and selfish. This idea of them living out their faith was shown when I asked the nun who organized our mission down there, Sister Elena, where their church was. She looked at me with a smile and replied, everywhere. The biggest change I experienced on this trip was my perception. It amazes me how different something can look from a different angle. What may seem ordinary and even mundane can be part of what drives one person to abandon their country and even family for new opportunities. Our lives are lived through such a narrow view that it was very hard at first to comprehend what I was being told. The biggest shock came when the 76-year-old sister who was born and raised in the United States referred to us as terrorists. The word had been reserved in my mind for people who kidnapped and murdered and terrified others. After thinking about it, I realized that we were guilty of using fear to get what we want. For years we have used our vast size, wealth, and military power to threaten other countries in order to get what we want. We have monopolized on many things that third world countries like El Salvador have very little of. Back here in the States, I look around and feel lied to by our government. I have lost a sense of

trust and pride in the country that I grew up adoring and worshipping for all I have that is great. I now realize the truth in our lives. This haunting fact is not to be accepted and then forgotten. We must realize the error of our ways and be the change we want to see in the world, or else we will live a hollow life. This daunting fact is not to be taken with fear, but as an opportunity to find new joy in our lives. If the people of El Salvador can be so content that they share their joy with us, then we too have the power to experience happiness. Three months after the trip, writing this evaluation I understand that in a way I have failed. I did not preach to others my newfound ideas, nor did I give up all that binds us in life. This is too difficult in our lives because we are born into a rigid society where we are not free to make rash decisions and rid of all our possessions. I try to live life simpler, but it proves very difficult because we are all so busy. We have so many appointments doing so many different things that are crucial to our lives, whether we want to or not. In Thomas Moores Re-enchantment of Everyday Life, he points out that being busy is being caught up with things we do not really need nor care about. If we are doing what we truly love, then we are never busy. I try to live this way- investing care and attention into everything I do, even the most banal of tasks- but I am often dreading certain assignments or appointments. Nevertheless, the people of El Salvador have showed me the truth that is all around us, though most people cannot recognize it. The people of El Salvador have filled me with such love that as I live in this society of hatred through racism, sexism, division of wealth, and the lack of fairness in our lives I detest the values by which we base our lives on. I do not understand why there is greed and envy and apathy all around us when those who have been oppressed and treated as less than human beings for years by people who can do what they want because they have money can live lives of love and virtue and focus on their God and their family. We have that opportunity here but society

makes it impossible to seize that opportunity because our emotions and actions are guided by what other people think of us even though that doesnt matter because they are not us and they have not experienced what we have experienced just as we have not experienced what they experienced. I long to return to El Salvador where I can learn to be this way in a world where it is all too difficult. I want to not only experience the love and affection of the friendships I have made and have yet to make down there but I also want to assure that the people with whom I travel with- my brothers- see what I saw and learn what I learned so that they too may be able to deny the life which has been set out for us and find true happiness in their existence here on earth for it does exist in the most deprived of places so why would it not be able to exist here?