JokeZone.

:D

Get ready for a hearty laughter :P

Santa ne 1st year ka exam diya aur usko jail ho gayi. Kyun? Paper mein sawaal tha ki:- Nehruji kab paida huve? Santa ne jawaab likha:- Jab unki maa chudi. -------------------------------------------------Sardar ne railway reservation form me Ling ke samne likha - 8 inch. Lady clerk - ye kya hae? kato ise Sardar: kitna? Lady: pura Sardar - Maa chudao, Bus se chala jaunga -------------------------------------------------A journalist to Osho : Do U know what all men & women R Doing in Ur Ashram? Osho: Mere ko kya? Journalist: Lekin ye to Aapka Ashram hai. Osho:Fir bhosdike tere ko kya. ---------------------------------------------------A middle-aged lady, in short clothes, to Santa in office, "Am I looking young in this new outfit?" Santa: Take this also off, you'll look like a new-born! ---------------------------------------------------Bhakt,Nirmal baba se bola - Baba har saal bachha paida ho jaata hai, kya karu?

Baba-Condom use karte Ho.

Bhakt- karta Hu.

Baba-Condom mohalle me baant do, kripa wahi se aa rahi hai. --------------------------------------------------Viagra ki 5 goli khakar 2 ghante tak girlfriend ke saath karne ke baad...

Santa bola: "Ab tum 3 ghante mujhe dekh nahi paogi"

GF: "Kyun? Kahin ja rahe ho kya?"

Santa: "Nahi janu, Ab palat jao"..

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Husband apne sasural me biwi se: aaj sex ho jaye..

Biwi: Nahi hum papa ke ghar hai..

Hus:To kya mere BAAP ka ghar Randikhana hai jo roz taiyar ho jati hai...! -------------------------------------------BABA RAMDEV: beta apne se badi nari ko ma,barabar wali ko bahan or choti ko beti mana karo.

BHAKT:to baba ye lund aap hi rakh lo Jadi Buti kootne ke kam ayega -------------------------------------------Suhag raat mein. BUILDER: Tere hoth Duplex jaise hain, figure Landscape Garden ki tarah hai.

WIFE: Ab Bhumi-Pujan bhi karoge ya mazdoor bulaun. -------------------------------------------Baba Sex ki Goli Bech Raha Tha 1 Goli Lega 1 Feet Lamba 2 Goli Lega 2 Feet Lamba SARDAR Baba 10 Goli Lu To?

BABA madarchod Ladki Chodega Ya Borewell khodega..!!

Lol hahaha :D :D :D

Old but awesome : Raju Apne Liye Ek Purani Bike Dhund Raha Thha. Ek Din Use Aisi Bike Mili Jiski Condition Bilkul Nayi Se Bhi Achhi Thi. Usne Use Kharidte Samaye Uske Malik Se Pucha: ?Yaar, Ye Itni Nayi Kaise Lagti Hai?? Malik Bola: ?Ek Vesline Ki Dibbi Hamesha ApnePaas Rakho, Aur Jese Hi Barish Shuru Ho Iske Uppar Vesline Laga Do Hamesha Nayi Jaisi Hi Rahegi.? Nayi Jaisi Bike Leke Usne Apni Girlfriend Ko Dikhayi Aur Usko Ghumane Le Gaya. Vapis Jab Use Ghar Chhod Raha Tha To

Girlfriend Boli Ki Aaj Raat Ko Tum Hamare Ghar Par Hi Dinner Karo. Raju Man Gaya Aur Bike Ko Stand Pe LagaKe Jaisi Hi Ander Jane Laga To Uski Girl Friend Ne Ek Ajeeb Baat Batai. Wo Boli: ?Hamare Ghar Mein Khana Khane Ke Time Par Jo Bhi Kuch Bolega Use Ghar Ke Saare Bartan Manjhne Padte Hai, Isliye Khana Khate Samaye Kuch Bhi Mat Bolna.? Uski Baat Sun Kar Ok Bola, Par Jaisi Hi Ander Ghusa Dekh Kar Hairan Rah Gaya, Ghar Ke Har Kone Mein Juthe Bartno Ka Dher Laga Hua Tha. Bina Kuch Bole Dining Table Pe Beth Gaya, Sabhi Log Chupchap Khana Khane Lage, Koi Kuch Nahi Bol Raha Tha. Raj Ka Dimag Ab Kaam Kiya Aur Usne Moke Ka Fayada Uthate Hue Apni Girl Friend Ko Kiss Kiya, Uske Kapde Utarne Shuru Kiye Phir Wo Dono Khana Bhul Kar Sex Mein Lag Gaye. Woh Dono Jameen Par Hi Sex Karne Lage Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola. Uski Girl Friend Ki Maa, Uska Baap, Uski BehenSab Ye Tamasha Dekh Rahe The. Par Bartan Manjhne Ke Darr Se Sabhi Chup The. Girl Friend Ko Achhi Tarah Chodne Ke

Baad, Raj Ne Uski Behen Ko Bhi Chodna Shuru Kar Diya Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola. Jab Raj Uski Maa Ko Chod Chuka Hi Tha Tabhi Jor Se Barish Hone Lagi, Aur Use Apni Bike Ki Fikar Hone Lagi. Usne Tezi Se Jeb Mein Hath Dala Aur Vesline KiDibbi Nikali Hi Thi Ki. Ladki Ka Baap Chilla Kar Bola Baap: ?Nahi Nahi, Mein Bartan Manjhne Ke Liye Tyaar Hun? ?

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's Sex?"

"OK," he thinks, "this day was bound to come, and I'm not going to let my little princess learn about sex from the streets."

So, he sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He tells her about puberty, menstruation, erections, and wet dreams.

Then she asks, "Daddy, what is 'A Couple'?"

And he carries on, "A couple are the two people involved in sex, but this can also be two males or two females which we call homosexual," and he goes on to describe masturbation, oral sex, group sex, pornography, bondage and rape, pedophilia, etc...

The father finally asks, "So why did you want to know about 'a couple' and 'Sex'?"

"Oh, mummy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..." A GUY'S STORY WITH HIS FIRST CONDOM:

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.' So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.' So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?', she asked. I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her. She fainted.. :p :p :p