Accountable Pastors/Accountable Churches

Kenneth Maresco

Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. Acts 20:28

I. We are to pay careful attention to ourselves

The saying is trustworthy: if anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach 1 Timothy 3:1,2 Command and teach these things. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 4:11. Practice these things, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this for you will save both yourself and your hearers 1 Timothy 4:15,16 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Hebrews 13:17

II. The deceitfulness of sin

A. Sin is our great enemy For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:17 Every unclean thought or glance would be adultery if it could; every covetous desire would be oppression, every thought of unbelief would be atheism, might it grow to its head. Men may come to that, that sin may not be heard speaking a scandalous word in their hearts,--that is, provoking to any great sin with scandal in its mouth; but yet every rise of lust, might it have its course, would come to the height of villainy; it is like the grave, that is never satisfied.1 B. Sin seeks to deceive us The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17: 9

John Owen, The Works of John Owen, Volume VI, The Banner of Truth Trust, 1991, page 12. 2005 Sovereign Grace Ministries Leadership Conference

it is modest, as it were in its first motions and proposals, but having once got footing in the heart by them, it constantly makes good its ground, and presseth on to some farther degrees in the same kind. This new acting and pressing forward makes the soul take little notice of what an entrance to falling off from God is already made; it thinks all is indifferent well if there be no farther progress; and so far as the soul is made insensible of any sin,--that is, as to such a sense as the gospel requireth, --so far it is hardened: but sin is still pressing forward, and that because it has no bounds but utter relinquishment of God and opposition to him.2 Christian living, therefore must be founded upon self-abhorrence and selfdistrust because of indwelling sins presence and power. Self-confidence and selfsatisfaction argue self-ignorance. The only healthy Christian is the humble broken hearted Christian.3 C. We need others to help us in our battle against sin: Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called today, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:12,13 The reality of spiritual blindness has important implications for the Christian community. I need you in order to really see and know myself. Otherwise, I will listen to my own arguments, believe my own lies, and buy into my own delusions. My self-perception is as accurate as a carnival mirror. If I am going to see myself clearly, I need you to hold the mirror of Gods Word in front of me.4 For many people it is much easier to know what is wrong than how to change it. I may have confessed a selfish, idolatrous heart and seen its fruit in my relationship with my wife. But it will be harder for me to think clearly and creatively about how to repent and actually love her in specific ways. I may understand the major themes of Scripture, but I may not know how to use them in certain situations and relationships. We all need people to stand alongside us as we apply Gods word to our lives.5 D. Sin causes us to believe lies about our need for fellowship 1. Why do we not share questions/concerns with others? a) Its not a pattern, so I should overlook it.
2
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Ibid, Owen, page 12. J.I. Packer, A Quest for Godliness, Crossway Books, Wheaton Illinois, 1990, page 196. 4 Paul David Tripp, Instruments in the Redeemers Hands, P&R Publishing, Phillipsburg, New Jersey, 2002, page 54. 5 Paul David Tripp, Instruments in the Redeemers Hands, P&R Publishing, Phillipsburg, New Jersey, 2002, page 243. 2005 Sovereign Grace Ministries Leadership Conference

b) c) d) e) f) g) h) i) j) k) l) m) n)

It was very minor, its not that big a deal. Its not that important. Im not in relationship with that person. Can I raise a question with the man who trained me? I can overlook this, but I wont forget it. I dont have time for this. I wasnt really offended or affected by what they did. Someone else/ someone closer will share if its a pattern They probably didnt intend to offend. It wasnt really sin. No one else seemed concerned. They will think Im self-righteous. They know I struggle with the same thing. Ive not gone through what theyre going through.

2. Why do we not pursue fellowship and confess sins? a) I dont need help on this one; I know what to do. b) Do I really need help? After all I am a pastor. c) Ill confess it when Ive repented completely. d) Ive got the Bible, Ive got the Holy Spirit, I ought to be able to handle this myself. e) It was not a big sin, so its not that big a deal. f) Its not a besetting sin, just occasional. I can just use the materials everyone recommended. g) Theyre just going to tell me what I already know. h) I can change on my own. I dont really need the help of others. i) This is something Im working on. j) Im making progress so I dont need to share this. k) I can just apply the counsel Ive already received. l) Its not a strength, but its probably not really a sin either. m) I see the heart issues clearly already. n) They know this is a problem, so I dont need to confess it again. o) Ive already repented and made changes. p) Ive confessed it to God and my wife. q) Ive already confessed it to people who know me better. r) Other problems in the group are bigger than this. s) They dont really understand my struggle. t) Ive got so much work to do. I need to be a good steward of my time and responsibilities. u) This is more serious than these folks can handle. v) I dont know if I can trust them with this information. w) They will lose all respect for me if I share this. x) They are busy, too busy to hear my confession right now. y) I dont know that Ill ever really change in this area. z) I dont think folks in my group are strong in this either. aa) They wont respond well if I confess again. bb) What would happen they really knew about this in my life?
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cc) I want a reputation of having my life under control and people to think I can handle all of life's challenges and discern my own sins. dd) I don't want to look bad, I don't want to look bad, I don't want to look bad.

III. Receiving the help of others in personal sanctification:

A. It is difficult to receive concerns and questions about our lives and motives. Ask yourself why? How can we move from always being quick to defend ourselves against any and all criticism toward becoming instead like David who saw it as gain? The answer is through understanding, believing, and affirming all that God says about us in the cross of Christ.6 In light of Gods judgment and justification of the sinner in the cross of Christ, we can begin to discover how to deal with any and all criticism. By agreeing with Gods criticism of me in Christs cross, I can face any criticism man may lay against me. In other words, no one can criticize me more than this cross has. And the most devastating criticism turns out to be the finest mercy. If you thus know yourself as having been crucified with Christ, then you can respond to any criticism, even mistaken or hostile criticism, without bitterness, defensiveness, or blame shifting. Such responses typically exacerbate and intensify conflict, and lead to the rupture of relationships. You can learn to hear criticism as constructive and not condemnatory because God has justified you.7 The only sin that can be mortified is forgiven sin. John Piper

B. My sins, though known perfectly by God, are still being revealed to me: This is momentous knowledge. There is unspeakable comfortthe sort of comfort that energizes, be it said, not enervatesin knowing that God is constantly taking knowledge of me in love and watching over me for my good. There is tremendous relief in knowing that his love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery now can disillusion him about me, in the way I am so often disillusioned about myself, and quench his determination to bless me. 8 C. Dont wait for others to come with concerns (confess your sins) Therefore confess your sins to one another. James 5:16
6 7

Alfred J. Poirier, The Journal of Biblical Counseling, Volume 17, Number 3, Spring 1999, page 17. Ibid, Poirier, page 19. 8 J.I. Packer, Knowing God, InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, Illinois, 1993, page 42. 2005 Sovereign Grace Ministries Leadership Conference

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Proverbs 28:13 1. Confess specific temptations and sins. 2. What were your thoughts, specific words, tone of voice, volume? How long before you gained self control? 3. Did you cry briefly, or were you crying for a period of time? 4. Did you look at that unclean thing for two or twenty minutes? How long was it before you committed to call someone? D. What does humility look like when others are offering you their concerns/questions? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. James 4:6 1. The greatest hindrance to the experience of grace in fellowship is our pride. 2. Be suspicious of yourself! 3. Ask questions that help you to understand their concerns. a) Am I hearing you accurately? b) Why does this concern you? 4. Take the time to repeat what you hear them saying. 5. Share where others have brought similar observations. 6. Ask for the Spirits help. 7. Take notes. 8. Read and pray over your friends questions/thoughts? E. Dont disdain the grace of God; take fellowship seriously. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Bring your plan to others for input. What does Scripture say? Have you identified heart issues? Commit to confess failures/temptations (dont wait for meetings). Have you identified temptations to be avoided? How will you seek to respond the next time you are tempted? What does biblical obedience in heart and action look like? 7. How are you praying? 8. Repentance can often take time. What are you doing to pursue conviction? Are you stewarding the grace of fellowship?

F. When you disagree or believe you are being sinned against: 1. Ask others if they agree. 2. Humbly share your perspective when you disagree, after you have heard and seriously considered others perspectives.

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3. Ask others to consider if their attitude or approach is in keeping with Gods Spirit? 4. Affirm your trust in God and commit the issues to prayer. G. For personal evaluation, ask fellow pastors and your wife: 1. Do you think I humbly pursue your input? Would you characterize me as one who pursues others for their input/questions/observations? 2. Am I easy to bring observations to? Do you feel I have taken your concerns seriously? 3. Am I consistently confessing sin that you would be unaware of? 4. What steps can I take to cultivate change in this area?

IV.

Where is the Holy Spirit already at work?

And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified. Acts 20:32 A. Are you more aware of Gods grace or deficiencies? B. We need the Holy Spirits help. C. Culture of grace: 1. 2. 3. 4. Communicate confidence in the grace of God in one anothers lives. Commit to genuinely love one another by helping one another grow. Does your team look to one another for help? Sanctification is a process, I dont need new, I need true, and I need it from you.

D. Culture of love: Faithful are the wounds of a friend, Proverbs 27:6

V. Bringing questions and/or correction to others:

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1,2 A. Observations vs. questions: Are we coming with questions or conclusions? B. Do different or additional facts change your perspective?

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C. Craving approval is the root of all kinds of judgments. Be cautious when correcting those in authority. D. Dont demand an immediate response. E. Correct in a spirit of gentleness. F. Dont wait to bring concerns or questions. G. Dont overwhelm with details or lists of sins. H. Be patient/remember the deceitfulness of sin in those you are correcting. I. Avoid extreme language. J. Remember Matthew 7. K. Ask questions that pursue details. L. Help people to move toward conviction/repentance. M. ALWAYS remind them of the gospel. N. Do you have any concerns regarding my attitude or approach as I have shared these things with you?

VI.

Pastors care groups:

A. Care groups are a context for us to pay careful attention. The greatest sign that a guy loves fellowship is his spontaneous practice of fellowship. Does he drop by his brothers office to ask for help or confess sin? Jeff Purswell B. Biblical categories/biblical attitudes: doctrinal discernment and practical personal humility are key. C. There are no positions in care group. D. Get to every couple: 1. Time and truth are on our side. 2. Give each couple some time to communicate their current issues. Then strategize together how youre going to care for that couple. E. Care together: create a culture of fellowship.
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F. Accountability: what are you doing with the counsel you have received? G. Senior Pastors: begin with yourselves. H. Mens/womens meetings vs. couples meetings: 1. Lead your wife by example. Lead her into fellowship. 2. What areas of your life would you be most concerned about right now in your marriage? a) Recent conflicts b) Parenting c) Personal life

VII.

Questions from a marriage retreat by Bob Donohue

A. Describe in detail the content of your last conflict (subject matter, words spoken, tone and volume of voice, how reconciliation was reached, etc.). Was that conflict representative of a common disagreement? What sins are you most tempted to commit in those moments? What issues underlie your expressions of anger, sinful judgment, unbelief, etc., during those conflicts? B. What pattern of communication (including not communicating) is most tempting to your spouse? What biblical categories would apply to your most common forms of sinful speech? C. How would you describe the fragrance of your home (i.e. what is the atmosphere really like within your four walls)? Is there an area of your lives you would be concerned about others discovering? What category of your home life would possess the most potential for disqualification from pastoring? D. What aspect of your biblical role is most difficult for you to apply? What category of family management needs the most improvement: daily schedule, finances, health, home projects, schooling, vacations, outside relationships, or others? (On that subject, I also thought it might be beneficial to spend time, maybe over one meal, gleaning creative ideas from one another in regard to effective ways to organize and supervise the varying aspects of life.) E. Are the individual sins in each of your childrens lives known and regularly discussed between you as parents and with that son or daughter? Does your strategy to help them in that area primarily involve the gospel? Is Gods word the basis of your instruction to your children? Are other parents observing you and your children and providing counsel for you in the area of parenting?

2005 Sovereign Grace Ministries Leadership Conference