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CONTENTS

Introduction—Why This Book Is Different . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13


Preface—If I Can Do It, You Can Do It . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

  1.  Coming-Home Stories: What Some Moms Say About


Their Decision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
  2.  The Eleven Miserly Guidelines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
  3.  GUIDELINE 1: Don’t Confuse Frugality With Depriving
Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
  4.  GUIDELINE 2: Remove Little Wasters of Your Money . . 37
  5.  GUIDELINE 3: Keep Track of Food Prices . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
  6.  GUIDELINE 4: Don’t Buy Everything at the Same Store . 56
  7.  GUIDELINE 5: Buy in Bulk Whenever Possible . . . . . . . . 69
  8.  GUIDELINE 6: Make Your Own Whenever Possible . . . . 73
  9.  GUIDELINE 7: Eliminate Convenience Foods . . . . . . . . . 92
10.  GUIDELINE 8: Cut Back on Meats . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
11.  GUIDELINE 9: Waste Nothing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
12.  GUIDELINE 10: Institute a Soup-and-Bread or Baked-
Potato Night . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
13.  GUIDELINE 11: Cook Several Meals at Once and
Freeze Them . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
14.  Special Dietary Needs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
15.  Some Great Recipes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

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16.  Be Wary of Warehouse Clubs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
17.  Stretch the Season . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
18.  Marketing Tricks That You Need to Know . . . . . . . . . . 156
19.  Celebrating With a Frugal Flair . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162
20.  Baby Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
21.  The Cost of Working . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 194
22.  Clothing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
23.  Help for the Working Mom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202
24.  Getting the Husband Involved . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206
25.  Ten Ways to Get Kids to Save . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209
26.  Five Things I Wish I Knew About Money When I Was
Younger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 214
27.  Medical Expenses and Insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 220
28.  Utilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 233
29.  Crafts for Kids . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 245
30.  Safer and Cheaper Cleaning Supplies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 256
31.  An Easy $10,000: Various Ways to Pocket Some
Money . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 269
32.  Five Questions I Get Asked Most Often . . . . . . . . . . . . . 277

Appendix A: Menu Plans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 285


Appendix B: Additional Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 289
Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 295

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Introduction

Why This Book Is Different

When I first wrote this book, our family lived in one of the most
expensive parts of America—the San Francisco Bay Area. Most
families were spending half their income to pay the high rent or
mortgage. Consequently, most families needed both parents to
work just to get by. We were one of those families. According
to statistics, my husband and I were a middle-income family,
with my job providing half of our joint income. I was a career
woman who received much joy from her work.
After our first child was born, I began to feel God tugging
at my heart to stay home to raise our family. At first I thought I
hadn’t heard correctly. We couldn’t live in the Bay Area on half
of our joint income. At least that’s what we believed. Trying to
interpret what God was saying to me, I arranged a job-sharing
program where I worked part time. We continued in that life-
style for several years. Once it became clear that the part-time
arrangement was not God’s plan, and that I was supposed to
stay home full time, we were back to square one.
We thought we would have to move to a less expensive
community in order to live on my husband’s salary alone. So
that’s what we decided to do, but things changed at the last
minute. We made an offer on a house, and someone made an
offer on our home. One night I realized that I didn’t want my
husband commuting several hours each day, and I didn’t like

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the idea of being so far away from our church and our friends.
We were able to get out of both house offers with no penalties.
But I had already quit my job. So there we were, living on half
of our income in an expensive area.
Our choices were either for me to go back to work or to
somehow reduce our expenses. But I knew I was supposed
to stay at home with my family, so instead of bringing in a
salary, I began to research how we could make our money go
further. This opened my eyes to the hidden costs in the way
we lived, and I questioned whether some people could even
afford to be working!
When we calculated what our loss of income would do to
our budget, we didn’t realize how many hidden costs would
disappear once I stopped working. Given the cost of child care,
taxes, gasoline, parking, convenience foods (we were often
too tired to cook after work), lunches out, office clothes, and
all the other amenities associated with working, not much of
our salaries were even used at home. I wasn’t alone in this
realization. I read that some financial experts had calculated
the cost of working as nine to twenty-five dollars per hour. I
was stunned! This meant that many of us who worked were
actually paying for the privilege of working. I was inspired
by the challenge of reducing our budget instead of increasing
our salary.
This book is not about how to make money at home. Many
other books have done a fine job of that. I’ve listed a few of
these books in “Additional Resources,” appendix B, for those
interested in pursuing this option.
Many books have been written on how to be thrifty. Some
are theoretical in their approach, filled with interviews with
other frugal people and impersonal statistics. Some are focused
on a specific way to save, such as reducing credit-card debt
or using grocery coupons. Others try to be broad but are too

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extreme, cutting back in every aspect of life, whether it is


cost-effective or not.
There is nothing theoretical in this book. It is a testimony
of our journey. We were a two-income yuppie family that
chose to make a lifestyle change. We have lived out all of the
advice I suggest here.
I look at saving money as a means to an end. It is a job I
perform in order to afford my staying at home. I don’t do the
things that I share in this book just for fun. I enjoy my luxuries
if and when I can afford them. Some people take pleasure in
being frugal as a hobby. I, however, must be convinced of the
savings return before I do something frugal. For example, I find
little profit in reusing envelopes or dryer lint. Those activities
may save a penny or two, but that would not be a good use
of my time. If you only have a little time to invest in saving, it
might as well be put to use in the most effective places. Frugal
people are looking for the best overall value. That value may
not be money. Cheap people always put money first.
I believe in putting your efforts to work where they will save
you the most. That is why the book is organized as it is—from
the greatest savings opportunities to the least. Groceries are the
first and largest topic that I discuss because it is where most
families can save the most. We were able to save hundreds of
dollars per month in this category alone.
I discuss other areas where we also achieved significant
savings. When added together with the elimination of work-
ing expenses (the cost of working), we made a large dent in
what we spent—the savings adding up to what some people
might earn at a job.
Some people already have thought of the ideas in this
book, especially those with parents or grandparents who lived
through the Depression. Those people knew how to make
what was necessary and live without the unnecessary. Their

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wisdom has been lost, and many think we shouldn’t have to


live without the things we desire. But others have asked for
help with creative ideas to cut costs in their lives. It is for these
people that I wrote this book. My desire is to get their creative
juices in motion so they can start thinking of ways to save and
meet their goals.
Your spouse doesn’t have to earn a high wage in order for
you to live on one income. I know several families (including
my own) who have willingly lived on less than half of what
the average family in their area earns.
We have added another member to our family. We have
pets. We go on vacations. We even buy nice things for our kids
and for ourselves.
These money-saving principles really can make a
difference.
What do you have to lose?

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PREFACE

If I Can Do It,
You Can Do It

You might think that it comes naturally for me to be orga-


nized and self-disciplined and to spend extra time shopping
and baking. This isn’t true. It doesn’t come naturally for me. I
share my background not out of vanity but to show you that
anyone can learn to live frugally.
The first thing you should know is that I am not “tight.”
It is not in my nature. I do what I have to in order to reach a
goal. I can (and do) return to my luxuries in a snap when I can
afford them. Some people are frugal because they have never
known any other way. Others enjoy being frugal even though
they can afford not to be. I knew what the “good life” was,
but I was able to learn to live frugally when it was necessary
to do so.
Until the age of eight, I lived in a northern California sub-
urb, Walnut Creek. My family lived an average middle-class life
with a three-bedroom house, a dog, and simple vacations to
Yosemite and the beach. Then life changed radically. My dad
accepted a job with an American organization in Pakistan, and
later we all moved to Nigeria. When the plane landed overseas,
our life was never the same. We suddenly had five servants
and a three-story house with bedrooms the size of most living
rooms. All of our chores were done for us. I never had to clean
my room or make my bed (I still don’t make my bed). We even

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had coffee (or cocoa) brought to our rooms to awaken us in


the morning. We traveled around the world several times in
the six years that we lived overseas. We returned to the United
States when I was fifteen, buying a three-bedroom house in
Silicon Valley (south of San Francisco).
I share this to help you understand that I knew what good
things were, but I have been able to learn to do without them.
I was used to the convenience of having meals made and work
done for me by others, so learning to apply myself to the art
of being thrifty was new to me. The skills that I have acquired
and share in this book were necessary to reach my financial
goal of staying at home with my kids. It didn’t all come to me
at once. I started with one idea, then added another once the
first one became second nature. Eventually I started to see a
difference. Even if you only apply one or two ideas from this
book, you will help your budget.
So if I can do it, you can do it!

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Chapter 1

Coming-Home Stories
WHAT SOME MOMS SAY ABOUT THEIR DECISION

T aking the plunge and quitting your job is a scary step. It’s
riddled with consequences and fears. Will we have enough
money? Am I doing the right thing?
Most women I talk to are glad they quit. Many reveal their
fears were unfounded, and that things were not as hard as they
expected. Almost all report seeing benefits in their children and
in themselves since being at home.
Coming home can bring a calm to the family: a peaceful
stability rather than a rushed schedule, and the kids can rely
on a parent to be there when they need her. There is nothing
more devastating to a child than being told he can’t come home
even though he doesn’t feel well because Mom doesn’t have any
more time off. The rewards of a job are fleeting compared to
the rewards of raising and shaping a future adult. But I don’t
want you to take only my word for it.
I get letters weekly from women who share their stories
of the transition from working mom to at-home mom or
mostly-at-home mom. They are heartening to anyone fear-
ing the changes coming home might bring. Following are a
few excerpts from these letters to encourage you. For more

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of these stories, please visit my Web site at www.miserly


moms.com.
For more on the subject of coming home, please read the
books listed at the end of this chapter.

SHELLY OF VIRGINIA

Deciding to quit work to be at home with my children at


the age of thirty-five was no easy decision. I had worked all
my adult life. It’s been over a year since I came home to be
with my children, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I had
always said that I could never stay at home with the kids, that
I was a working kind of girl and that’s the way it was. God in
my life changed all that, and so did my three great kids. I do
child care in my home, trying to help other moms who think
they have to work as well. I am always encouraging them to
cut costs so they can come home to be with their own kids, as
I have. The extra money I make in providing child care pays
the groceries and another bill or two, so it’s a financial help
to say the least.
I strongly encourage any women who have the least bit of
desire to quit work and come home to look at every avenue,
because, trust me, all the money in the world can’t buy
your happiness. One expense I cut without realizing it was
medical costs. It’s amazing how when you don’t have that
kind of stress in your life, and your kids aren’t exposed to
everyone else’s sicknesses, you don’t have to visit the doctor
so often and spend your money there and at the drugstore.
That’s a big savings in itself. Where there’s a will, there’s
a way, and believe me, it’s worth it in the long run. You’ll
never regret it!

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KATE OF PENNSYLVANIA

At first my husband didn’t get it. He anticipated dual


incomes and all the things that could be done with that money.
I have had to work on his thinking a lot to get him to see
that there is no bigger payoff than a happy home and happy
children. I never have to worry about coordinating schedules
or who will watch my kids when they get sick. We aren’t rich
financially, but we are spiritually.

DONNA OF NEW YORK

When my husband and I were first married, we had quite


a bit of debt. We were paying off our debt and thinking we
were on the right track, but then things changed. We had our
first baby, and I left my stressful job to work part time in a
grant-funded position.
And then we bought a house.
And then we got pregnant again.
And then our car died.
And then the roof caved in.
And then my grant-funded position was cut.
And then I started to cry.
After the crying, getting hit unexpectedly with other hard
and heavy bills, and being in lots more debt, I started to wise
up. This reality check made me realize how unfrugal I was.
My dear husband, who loved to spend money (before we
were married he ate out every night and didn’t even know
you could pay more than a minimum monthly payment on a
bill!), was very supportive in my endeavor. I started reading
the experts (Miserly Moms and Tightwad Gazette, among
others) and got into a positive frame of mind—that this was
the best thing to do. Once I felt proactive and money-smart

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rather than desperate and “cheap,” I realized my life had


changed for the better. I started cooking almost everything
from scratch, grocery shopping at different stores, mending
clothes, shopping at Salvation Army, and finding lots of free
family stuff to do.
Now we are down to one last debt, and it’s steadily going
down—any extra money we get goes toward it. We still love
to go away, but now our trips involve driving and staying
with family or at hostels, and finding free stuff to do while
bringing our food along. My wonderful husband and I are so
proud of what we are doing to make our lives better. We are
not materialistically wealthy—our wealth and riches are much,
much greater than that.

CINDY OF NORTH CAROLINA

My husband and I have been married for fourteen years and


have three children. For most of that time, I was working full
time as a newspaper copy editor. Because we worked opposite
shifts, child care wasn’t an issue—but we didn’t see much of
each other! When my third child was a year old, we decided I
could come home. Two months after coming home, that son
was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy, which meant
wheelchairs, ramps, ventilators, physical therapy, doctors, more
doctors . . . and the list goes on. Though our insurance was
good, it wasn’t that good. So back to work I went.
Three years and piles of medical bills later, another son was
diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome and learning disabilities.
More bills. More stress. Lots more tears. Our marriage was
rocky, I was unhappy, my husband was unhappy, the kids
were unhappy. Nothing was getting done well. We decided
I should try coming home again. This time I prepared. We
cashed in investments to pay off a car loan and other debts, and

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cancelled all the extras—cable TV, cell phone, etc. I switched


from the convenient, swanky grocery store to the one with
no perks and immediately saved twenty-five dollars a week.
We stopped going out to eat every Sunday after church, sav-
ing more than a hundred dollars a month. I stopped going
to the bagel shop every morning, saving ten dollars a week.
Funny thing is, after cutting out the little things, we had just
as much at the end of the paycheck as we had when we were
both working!
It’s been nine months since I left my job, and I doubt I’ll ever
go back. The amount of stress that walked out the door when
I came home has been astounding. I’m not always hurrying the
kids because I have to get ready for work. My husband isn’t
stressed about hurrying home so I can go to work. We don’t
have to worry about sudden changes in one of the schedules.
The kids are more relaxed. We’re more relaxed.
Money is still tight, and because of our children’s medical
needs, it probably always will be. Even the children under-
stand the benefits. I often hear them say how glad they are
that they get to come home after school and don’t have to go
to child care. Many of my daughter’s friends come home to an
empty house. Mine are all glad they get to enjoy a real summer
vacation—no rushing to child care or day camps, etc. And they
do understand that the cost of their not going to child care
means fewer material things. Their cousin has all the latest
toys and lives in a huge house—but she is not home to enjoy
them. My kids actually get it! It’s been a long journey home,
but worth every minute!

ELLEN OF OKLAHOMA

I was a successful paralegal with a promising career in


a fantastic firm. My husband and I both worked long, hard

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hours and had a nice home, two cars, and plenty of extras.
Then I got pregnant. I wanted to stay at home as my mother
had, but we just couldn’t make the math work out. We had
decided that I would try working full time, but part of the
time in the office and part of the time telecommuting from
home.
Then, five days after our daughter was born, my husband
looked at me and said, “Whatever it takes, you’re not going
back to work.” How I had prayed for his cooperation in this
effort.
We slashed our budget. Took out all the extras. Stopped
eating out, no cell phone, no impulse shopping. I shop nice,
quality resale stores for clothes for all of us. It’s amazing what
you can do when you get creative and determined to make it all
work out! Our food bill is a constant challenge to me to find
new and cheaper options. Miserly Moms has recently given
me new incentive to get devoted to budget cutting again. And
I am so glad I’m the one raising my daughter—not an endless
rotation of child-care workers. In the beginning we were afraid
to even try. Now with an eighteen-month-old daughter, we
can’t imagine living any other way.

ANNE OF PENNSYLVANIA

I fully expected that the first six months would be pain-


ful and that I’d feel some regret about our decision. It’s been
six months now, and what I find instead is that this was
the best decision for our family, and we are all reaping the
rewards. Life is sane again, our kids are happy, the finances
are manageable, and my stress level is low. Do I miss work?
Nope. After years of high-level stress, it is the greatest relief
to let all of that go. I have the mental energy to manage our
home, finances, and lifestyle, which is challenge enough! I

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am happy with the lifestyle we now have, and despite several


enticing opportunities to return to work, I remain steadfast
in my commitment. It has all been worth the pain of self-
examination and change. Do I recommend it for other fami-
lies? You betcha!

LISA OF CALIFORNIA

Most people know that military pay is not elaborate, but


my husband and I had always agreed about the importance
of my being home with our children, for which I am most
thankful. Prior to our marriage I had worked as a secretary/
administrative assistant, but knew in my heart it was not some-
thing I wanted to continue once I was a mom. At that time we
made less than $17,000 a year, yet I don’t have any memories
whatsoever of feeling bad about my decision to come home.
Through any financial challenge, I truly believe God blessed
our choice. We always had enough food, our bills were paid,
and I was able to be with my daughter.
The interesting thing about staying home is that while
many people can manage it, too many think they can’t. I
believe it all comes down to how willing/unwilling you are
to slash expenses in your life and take the time to make these
changes.
These days I am a mom-at-home who also has health chal-
lenges. I still would not have it any other way. My job here is
being the “home manager.” I don’t get paid for it, but I get great
satisfaction knowing that I am making my husband’s salary
stretch as far as possible, and that we are still able to live as
we originally intended. I see too many couple friends of ours
struggling to work, get child care for their kids, commute, get
supper on the table, and get everything else done they need to
accomplish before the next day—only to start all over again!

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And do you know what? Most of them are not any better off
than we are.

TERRI OF TEXAS

I was a marine biologist working for the government, and


had several published papers. I shopped whenever I wanted to
and bought just about whatever I wanted. My dear husband
and I would go out to eat several times a week.
When I was pregnant, we had looked at several child care
centers we liked and picked one. But after the baby came, I
knew I could not find it in my heart to go back to work. My
husband said it would be okay for me to stay home as long
as we could pay the bills. Now he wouldn’t have it any other
way, nor would I!
I am learning to cook, sew, raise animals, and enjoy the
simple things in life! This has been the best decision I have
made in my life as well as in the lives of my children. No one
can take the place of a loving mother (or father) who stays
home with the children. Material goods are nothing compared
to the life and upbringing of a child. This time is so important
to them. Don’t cheat them out of time with you because of
material things you “think” you need!

CHARLOTTE OF MASSACHUSETTS

We are a family of six, and I haven’t worked since 1992.


I am proud of myself and my husband for achieving this. I
miss the indulgences of having extra money on hand, but
when I stop to think about the blessings we possess, I am so
grateful.
When one is surrounded by a wealthy (and therefore

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luxurious) community, it is easy to become whiny, which saps


the strength and the joy out of life.

KELLY OF OREGON

Having been on both sides of the fence, I wholeheartedly


agree that there are actually very few families that absolutely
need to have both parents working. When at all possible, I
strongly believe that one parent should be at home for the
kids. More and more families are making this decision, and I
would not be surprised to see more one-income families than
two-income families in the near future.

TRACY OF ARIZONA

I spent all of my twenties working in offices, taking classes,


and trying to make a career. I thought true satisfaction came
through being successful in business (back in my feminazi days).
But for all my hard work, I realized that after twelve years
of devoting my life to a career, I had gotten nowhere great.
I was making decent money but nothing spectacular. What I
noticed mostly was that I was really dissatisfied being a slave
to a company.
Coming home has been one of the most important steps
I’ve taken in my life. I now have a baby daughter, and I can’t
even imagine putting her in child care or with a baby-sitter
all day. To me, being home and being a mother is the best job
I’ve ever had!

Resources
Home by Choice: Raising Emotionally Secure Children in an Insecure
World, Brenda Hunter (Multnomah Books, 2006).

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My Heart’s at Home: Becoming the Intentional Mom Your Family Needs,


Jill Savage Clarkson (Harvest House Publishers, 2007).

The Power of Mother Love, Brenda Hunter (WaterBrook Press, 1999).

So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom, Cheryl Gochnauer (Inter-


Varsity Press, 1999).

Staying Home: From Full-Time Professional to Full-Time Parent, Darcie


Sanders and Martha Bullen (Spencer & Waters, 2001).

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