SPECIAL FREE REPORT ON HAVING YOUR HAPPINESS NOW!

SO LET’S START WITH THE MOST SIMPLE THING: YOUR HAPPINESS ABC’S!

The A B C'sWhen my friend and late mentor Bruce came upon the understanding that
he could live his joy each moment, he put it in the language that you find in the
first quote on the first page of this book. What stands in the way of our being
happy is our belief that it is impossible not to be unhappy. That’s how it looks,
right? Okay, that is certainly how it feels to us. We are not going to challenge
every moment of unhappiness that you have right now. First let us learn the
anatomy of unhappiness and then let’s look at what can be done about it.Try this
on for size: the truth about you and the world/ the "ABC’s" of happiness and
unhappiness:

A: There is just you and the world (includes all other people and things)

B: You don’t control the world. (The attempt to control the world has been the
focus of much of human history and all of human technology. Despite advances, our
control is tenuous at best. This is actually as we will see, the main source of
dread and unhappiness.)

C: You do control the attitude that you construct toward whatever the world
presents to you each moment of your existence.

WHAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE TO ALL OF THIS:

What you believe is what you feel!

Let me give you an example from my workbook:

FREEDOM TO WANT/ THE ROOTS OF PROSPERITY

AND SUCCESS
As with unhappiness, all the streams of happiness flow from the same
source: our being in the world as free and happy entities. Therefore, all the
freedoms we will explore and all the categories of happiness we will briefly
examine will have echoes of each other as we look at their potentials for us.

The freedom to want is an essential understanding of how we actualize

our happiness in the concrete circumstances of each moment. Our cultural
upbringing and subsequent beliefs in unhappiness have led to our
being hesitant, constrained and troubled over our wants. One main aspect
of that is demonstrated when we see how wanting our happiness is portrayed
as something not to trust; how our freedom to want might lead us
to be ways we are not supposed to be, and ultimately to the state of the
unbearable wrongness of being ourselves, to evil. (A review of Section
7and 9 will help here.)

The second main aspect comes from our having

allowed ourselves to believe that mere wanting is an insufficient motivation
for getting what we want, so that we introduce the concept of needs
to heighten our sense of urgency around getting what we want. (Section 9
will also help here.) All these conceits have collapsed like a house of cards
before the refreshing breeze of our true freedom to want whatever we
might want, without restraints or caveats of any kind.
We can do so because our wanting is the cutting edge of our creative
engagement with the world. Without any dread-driven sense that we must
Frank Mosca Ph.D. • 129
have what we want in order to be happy, we are totally free to throw the
dice of our wants onto the crap table of each unfolding moment ruled by
the laws of uncertainty and incompleteness. Sometimes we will find we
“win” while, sometimes, perhaps more often than not, we will “lose.” But
what is not at stake in this playing in the world is precisely what we want
most of all (and, wonder of wonders, what we possess before we enter into
the playground of life), that is, our happiness.

So, do you see? Our freedom to be different is connected to our freedom

to want whatever we might want. Being comfortable with our wants
allows us to explore more of the world and out of that exploration to discover
ways of being that we may apply to ourselves. You might want to
take a trip to the Tuscany region of Italy, and after eating your way
through the hill towns discover that you would like to distinguish yourself
as a fine cook! Wanting and Being different work hand in hand to generate
innovation and uniqueness, traits that can be very attractive in presenting
products to a world jaded by the intensities of media blitzing.

As we can now see, when we stop burdening our wanting with needs
and dread of failure because the world will not cooperate with our
attempts to make it what we want it to be, then paradoxically, we can
achieve a clarity about not only what we want but how we will go about
getting it. This clarity is unlikely to exist in the anxiety-filled atmosphere
of our former unhappy beliefs. There are many examples in my book
Joywords and on my audio tapes.

Still another one that comes to mind is ayoung man who sought help because
he could not please his superior atwork in a large blue chip corporation.
The superior demanded he work
extremely long hours and on the weekends, a demand that put a good deal
of pressure on his still young marriage of just a few years. He was in a deep
quandary because no matter how he tried to produce results, his boss was
not satisfied. He felt what he described as an absolute need to excel and to
do so he had to control the world in the form of his boss by producing
material results that would bring about that effect.
130 • The Option Method Joybuilding Workbook

Having failed at this, he was falling into a depression. (No matter what
he did he could not control some aspect of the world. The old “B” logic at
work.) He described dreams where he was attempting to crawl out of a
bottomless hole whose sides became increasingly slippery as he
approached the surface, so he was losing his grip. Dread seized him as he
saw his control strategies fail. His wife threatened to leave him and that
brought him to seek some help.

Through the Option dialogues, he began

to open up to a new perspective. Once he was able to surrender his commitment
to the control logic of “B” of the ABC’s, he began to consider the
options available in the realm of “C.” He decided that, while he did want
to be successful, he wanted his happiness most of all, because this was in
fact what success meant to him in the first place.

Once he began to see

that he had his happiness no matter what the outcome of his attempts to
excel in his career, he took a whole new different approach. He quit his job
and began a home-based consultation service. At first it was touch and go,
but gradually as he became happier, he found that he had much greater
access to his own creative talents. This paid off in the acquisition of customers
that in relatively short time assured the success of his venture. All
this was done in a time commitment that left plenty of space for his new
family.

This is the root of prosperity and success from an Option point of view.
I do not speak of somehow manipulating the universe through the magic
of being some special way you are supposed to be so that the world will
somehow be forced thereby to cough up whatever it is you want. No, that
is mere conjuring and illusion. What I mean is that once you know you
have what you want most of all out of your existence, your happiness,
secure in the bosom of your own being, then life truly becomes play. It
becomes play that is lived out of total comfort, without dread or angst
about how things will turn out. You know you will apply your creative
intelligence and muster whatever resources you have to enter the game in
the best way you know how. It does not guarantee some magical outcome,
but it does mean that you will be utilizing all of yourself optimally to gain
Frank Mosca Ph.D. • 131
success.

Does it not stand to reason that with such clarity and sense of ease
in strategizing about how best to achieve your goals, you have created the
most advantageous environment to maximize the likelihood that they will
indeed be achieved? Keep in mind as well that your joy is in all aspects of
what you do. It is in the planning of it, the carrying out of the plans and
in the outcome, whatever it might be. You don’t have to wait and withhold
your joy until you find out whether the world will cooperate with your
attempts. Your happiness is always now, so again you are free to be as bold
and innovative as your creative self can contrive to be.

QUESTIONS
• Do you have any sense that it is illegitimate to give free rein to your
wanting? Is there any sense of dread about being so free? Think of
things in your immediate life experience that you may be frightened
of because they would require a greater freedom than you have been
used to allowing for yourself.
• Do you feel that there is some special way you have to be in order to
“merit” success in the world? Do you equate success with happiness?

EXPER/CISES
• Take out a photograph album of yourself from the earliest age you
have photos. If this is not available, simply take time to recall yourself
from your earliest memories up to the present. As you go over
each picture or memory, try to recall what you wanted at the time.
Write it down. When you have completed your historical review,
look over what you wanted. What sense do you have about how you
felt in wanting those things in the past? If there is any sense now that
your wanting was not legitimate, question your feelings using the
Method. After the review, focus on your present wants. Do you
notice that what you want has changed and is changing in the light
132 • The Option Method Joybuilding Workbook
of your willingness to give free rein to your wanting? Make note of
the changes. See how comfortable you are with them.

Frank Mosca Ph.d. helps individuals in overcoming limiting beliefs that stand in
the way of their having their happiness now. If you have a strong desire to
achieve that for yourself then click here to get a free twenty minute consultation
[$200 value]:
http://www.iwantmyhappinessnow/qualification