Tr,P,l t dliy r/

g-

,,]e

tn

AdolescentspW*M
We Expect?
How much commitment
are teenagerc capable of,
onyusay? Do we subtl

unconsciously exact a degree of

eoen

deuotion that is way aboue or below the

ability of most teenage$

to crank up?
Les Parrott

tlt

Rrsurrs
;,*'.t\l

f l ldon't
Zslid

lThe

know if all this makes any difference." sentence fell out of Ron's mouth as he intc the restaurant booth to join me for

one question after another. When he finally

stopped long enough to take a bite of his club sandwich, I threw in my two cents'worth. "What can you expect? They're kids." 'Exactly," Ron fired back. "Whalcanyou expect? I mean, I'm not thinking they should be Billy Graham or Mother Teresa-but really, what kind of spirituality can you expect from teenagers?" That lunch was six year ago, but I've been trying to answer Ron's question ever since. After reading dozens of books, talking with hundreds of kids, and commiserating with many a youth minister about adolescent spirituality, I've come to a few concluslons. It's no secret that religious beliefs change as children enter and pass through adolescence. Teens, for example, are less likely than children to believe in literal translations of the Bible. Children report they believe in God because their parents told them Cod exists. On the other hand, adolescents rely more on rational thinking in th-eir faith than on parental precepts. They believe in God because, for example, the universe is orderly. The work of James Fowler, of course, ranks among the more extensive studies on how faith changes as people age. After interviewing people of all ages from a variety of backgrounds, Fowler delineated six stages of faith development of adolescent spirituality (they come in three pairs), and they're worth remembering. The first stage is what Fowler calls mythical-lileral foith,lhe level at which most adolescents begin their spiritual journey. Operating at a preteen and concrete level, adolescents respond to religion according to their cognitive capacity. Persons at

church just another social event for them? Do they understand the transforming grace of God? Can the-v practice any spiritual discipline? He pondered

about the puzzle of adolescent spirituality.

lunch. "What are you talking about?" 'Being a youth pastor," he muttered. "Does it really rnake a difference? I mean, I put on all these activities, I have creative Bible studies-but I don't think my kids get it:" This willbe a light-hearted lunch, I thought. Ron pushed the menu aside and kept talking
Is

this stage view religious stories and music in literal, concrete ways. They perceive God in human form somewhere in the sky. They accept their religious heritage, no questions asked. Next is synthetic<onuentional faith.ln early ado, lescence, with their increased capacit,v to think abstractly ('formal operations"), the young person's principal task is to relate his or her own religious views with the incompatible views of others. They may conceive of Cod as a personal adviser and guide, but in a less personalized fashion than previ ously. The final stage in Fowler's model of adolescent sp i ritual developme nt is i nd i u id ua l-re fl ecti ue fa i t h, though not all adolescents reach this stage in their

hildren say they believe in

God because

their parent!
"*rsts.
Adoles-

told them h"

eents rely more on rational

think-

irg than on parental precepts.

They believe in God, for example,
because the universe is orderly.
faith development. Those who do, however, engage in criticalselFreflection and examination of their beliefs and values. Such questioning leads to individual and personal religious belieb. These adolescents view God in more abstract ways-not as a personal advisor, but as a spirit embodying moral truths and penonal presence.

The upshot of Fowler's overyiew is simply that adolescent spirituality is different{ifferent from a child's spirituality, different from an adu!(ls spirituality. Which ruant, first and foremost, tfiq!ti" rn'$t put ounselves in teenagers'shoes. 1,4,:,:
sprlng 1995 / YoUTlNYoru<m 33

T{ESULTS

-!

mtryk SMALL, reads a sign on the classroom desk ol a kiridergaften teacher I know. Sure, we all know that adolescent faith development is different. Yet we musl continually "think teen" and understand that"everv adolescent is in a singular phase of faith
development. Such empathy will keep you from common mis. rakes about cultivating spiritual formation. "The greatest sin is to do all the right things for all the wrong reasons,' wrote T. S. Eliot in Murder in the Cothedrol.lt's just as sinful, I think, to do all the wrong things for all the right reasons. A young per-

son's budding faith can be easily damaged by a minister's good intentions.

he upshot of Fowler's
oy-qrview is simply that
adolescent spirituality is

"lf you expect perfection from people, your whole life is a series of disappointments, grumblings, and complaints," wrote Bruce Barton, a businessrnan, politician, and author early in this century. "lf, on the contrary, you pitch your expectations low,

sense of giving, for example. It instead creates a desire to clear one's conscience and please those who are watching. And more than any other emo tion, guilt sabotages a sincere minister's efforts to build an adolescent's faith for the long run. . Equoting spirituality utith youth group actiuity. lt's an easy trap to get caught in' There are sirnply too many activities these days that demand a young person's time. lt's simply inaccurate to gauge kids' spiritual maturity by how dedicated they are to our programming. . Setting our expectotions for teenagers too high. A common reason people expect much of a person emerges from their own high self-expectations. Obviously, adolescents cannot be held to the same level of expectancy as adults. Newborn babies crave milk "to grow up in their salvation," writes the apostle (1 Pet. 2:2). Placing unrealistic expectations on adolescents about their spiritual development ensures failure and compounds guilt.

differentJifferent from a childb

spirituality, different from an

adult's spirituality. Which means,

first and foremost, that we must

put ourselves in teenagerc' shoes.
commit as they try to spur adolescents on to a more mature faith. o Motiuoting by guilt. No other age group carries around morE feelings of guilt than teenagers. They are plagued with unrealistic selfexpectations and a relentless conscience. So why do we use guilt to motir,-ate il-iiQ af yeadv self-punishing? Because it workS. Ciiilt'lets results-but only for the shorl run. Cuilt fails to instill life-long qualities-a healthy Here are four common errors I've seen adults

taking folks as the inefficient creatures which they are, ybu are frequently surprised by having them perform better than you had hoped." -o SettinT too-low expectations for teenagers. Therg is certahly wisdom in Barton's realism-but don't follow it exclusively. Setting expectations of adole; cent spirituality too low can be as detrimental as stting them too high. When youth workers loosen too many expectations about what a young person is capable of, they communicate an unhealthy me* sage. Adolescents aspire to lofty goals; and by holding lackluster expectations of them, we imply that they aren't capable of reaching higher ones.

remains: what can you realistically expect spiritually from youryouth grouP? Popular opinion holds that teenagers have scant interest in religion. Adults from Socrates to William Bennett have fretted and fussed over the spiritual state of the younger generation. Yet it's simply not true that young people have lost therr sense of heritage and religious values. A

vating kids to deeper faith. Yet the ques.tion

So you successfully sidestep these enors

in moti-

recent Callup Youth Survey reports that a majority

34

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Rtsurrs

4
_) \

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.lUtIIJ-

t I t o

-This is my personal planner, my personal computer, and my pesonal

kuior."

of American young people continue to consider religion important in their lives. About seven teenagers in l0 say they agree with the statement that they are religious persons, including l9 percent who agree very strongly. Among the remaining three in l0 who disagree, only five percent strongly
assert they are not religious.

is natural. lt is endemic to spiritual growth. Some theologians see doubting as a dynamic ancillary to belief and not necessarily in opposition to,it. A strong faith is not the result of avoiding questions, but of working with doubt. lf there are no mountains without valleys, can their be faith without doubt or answers without questions?
Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget, the world's most noted authority on the development of the intellect, theorized there are two different ways people come

If you tend to expect a lot from your teenagers, lower your sights a bit to these realistic expectations:
EIKpct splrltual stafit and stopo. Spiritual development does not progress at a steady direction toward a pinnacle of maturity. Feelings of emptiness are a part of human existence, even on the spiritual journey. A young person may experience an emotional rush during the days, weeks or even months following a new spiritual commitment, but eventually this energy dissipates and questions arise that may cause doubt. This process

Expect unsettling adjushents to new lnslghb-

to understand new information<ssimilotion and accommodation. Assimilation is the process by which a person makes an effort to take new information and join it to their existing thinking. The new experience either may fit easily or require
minor adjustment Accommodation, on the other hand, is necessary when the new experience stretches a prson beyond
Spnng 1995

/ YoUTtrwoRKER 35

E---

RESULTS
li

his or her comfortable limits-when it does not fit within their cunent beliefs, and goes beyond their structure of thought. Case in point: an adolescent's completely new insight about Cod. Radical new ways of thinking about spiritual matters can launch
an adolescent into an unsettling spiritual phase.

share a common faith, they may have a difficulr time developing a religious commitment. Most sociologists believe faith is kept alive by a human as well as a divine support system. lt's hard to maintain your belief in a round earth when you're surrounded by people who fear falling off its edge.

Expect the need for healthy models. Teenagers need models of vibrant spirituality whom they respect and in whom they have confidence. They need to see faith lived out in peers as well as in adults. Unhealthy models as spiritual authorities only compound the struggle. lf young people lack a formative community of friends who

Expect idealistic cism.

thinking that leads to criti-

Because adolescents are so strongly idealistic, they easily suffer disillusion with and disappointment in

the church. Yet no church can adequately fulfill every ideal of every person. Disappointed young people are bound to be critical of their religiously

Yoslr Students?

Splrltual Growth ln

So How Do You tleasure

hph ministry, the results are if they stay with their commitrnents into high schod. Je Cranvford, t'loat @vspnt &mmunU Cltutcll, frestr., @lif.

B*"r*

I primarity focus on the junior

You are recruited and paid to produce spiritual resutts in your students-or at least that's often the expectation of the church stafi or congregation. But how do iou garJge your effectiveness? We asked some of your pers how they gauge the level of their spiritual success with their )outh groups. Here's what they had to sry.

Dome kids show more commitment to service. Several of our group have gone to seminary and into the ministry. Other kids show growth by a change in priorities.They place less emphasis on material, or doing, or being hsy, and nrcre ernphasis on just being. @md l<Janz" Cross in he Desett Unitd h,let@ t Clurdt, Pltoertfu, Arb.
for the tun str.rff and the serious stuf? I also look at \^/hat they do after they graduate. When they go to college, a lot of them stick around and help out with tfxe junior high. Barbara Jatred<e, Tqtple W (elif.) Fia/. Lrtthsan AudT

Do tn" kids stick around

dance, but now we measure it by what the kids give to others. Jey Frdtas, The Hilo (llaa'ai| Setstfh Day Advattist Church

At nrst we measured spiritual results by atten-

tlnt

L-ran't really place my finger on what it is, except

I can sit dorvn with some teens and talk easily

Tn", begin to develop different programs and

Mullis, Advent Chrisfian C)uttrJl,

about God witput them turning and running. &ve Johnsn, Attascrcita hesbytqian Chutdt, Humble, Tet<.

ministries in which they can use their gifts. As a result, a peer ministry begins to develop. Logan

Nw Alfuny, hrt.

kids started helping but with our younger youth groups, that was growth. They'lltake leadership positions, lead Bible studies, do things like that. Buddy Prince, Dutin's Grove Advent Christian
Church, Ctprlotte, N.C.
..

Wn*

,uo.rvisors are looking for inner growth in students; the session wants to see numbers. For me, the focus is leadership-to see in what directions students grow in leadership, and how they take control and ownership of the group themselves. Danen Bottino,l-a Crescanla (Afif.) Prcsbyter'
ian Church

M,

36

YorJTlrlvoRm,/sprhs l99t

Rrsurrs

committed parents, their youth pastor, and their church. Their own difficulty in coping with temptations further contributes to their disillusionment. They may begin to think that the Christian life is impossible.
Lxpect a faith built mostly on emotions. Adolescents are more emotional than cognitive. They remember feelings more readily than facts. Concerning their church. they know exactly how they feel about last Sunday's service even when they cannot remember what was said or taught. A young person's unpleasant feeling at church is more influential than sermon content when it comes to

whether he or she is drawn to a religious context.

If

you tend to not expect much from your hids soin

itually, recognize that they are capable of much

more than you think:

Expect a desire to know right from lwong. The large majority (92 percent) of youths want to leam more about values. Young people intuitively understand that strong-headed problems like vio lence, sexual promiscuity, drug use, and teen pregnancy can become less formidable if explicit values are taught and believed. According to William Kilpatrick, author of Wy Johnny Can't Tell Right from

instarrce, maybe they thought that pro-chcice was the way to go, but after six months they're sayrng, "No, I've changed my view on that." Sfaqy Spetfe Hillcrwt Unitd Metltqlist Ch(trd1, lkshville, Tstn.

bpiritual resuhs to me is wl'ren my students keep bpiritual succe.ss is student commitment-that's coming back, want to know more, want to be long-term commitment, not short-term. lt's when invotved in the program. Steve hgdhardt, Lutheran fiey corne to all the sntrs ard hdp and wlunteer Cfurch of tl:e Rdeqnq, Birmingtam, Mkrt. to do extra things-like helping in vacation Bible school and outreach programs{rot just showing I r""rur" where they are spiritually by looking at up for youth group. EveW lruing, Trinity PtF,'bytqiaurwhere I am spiritually. I don't think I can expect Chwd4 Atlc.hoage, Alaska tlxern to be somewhere I haven't been. QhrE Phillip, t-Excitement among the kids for getting into the Advat Ctv*st*n @,utdt, MqJnnkxrille, Va Word is one way I measure our spiritual growth. W"'r" getting resufts $/'len they join the clrurcfr, We've taken th Bible one book at a tme for a full when they walk down the aisle and commit their retreat, and they just love it. They..ryant someone- ' lives to Christ+pecially the kids whose parents who will wdk them through the Bible-someone'.. don't.come to church. Another way to measure who willgive them a cfiance to ask qustions and sp{ritual grcnadft in rny students is if tfte!/ chango their let them say, 'l don't understand this.<ould you opinions o\er time abod a controversi.al issue. For explain this in more detail?"Joe Wemer, Luthenn
Church of the

Rdsnq,

Bimingharn, Mkir.

Wn"n

their actions. lt may not be a fast change. lt may be a slow change with ups and downs, but there's still change. Dave Curtrss, Church of the
Nazatane, Kent, Wash.

D uy

the kids ask good questions, when they really want to know rnore and are willing to chalbnge authority figures to ask them. Silrley tunfu, Lonia LlNa Unive$lty Sevqth Day Adventist Churdt,:

Lonut-ffi"@frt

'

"

'..

can't measure spiritual results. Resutts aren't short term, they're long term. I didn't realize the impact my youth pastor had on me until 15 or 16 years later. Jimmy Chalmss, Cressef Eaptst Church,
Durhan, N.C.

Yo,

ln m" short run, I can measure onty what's appient-and that can be deceptive. Still, I think I can sense growth if students begin to have a positive
kids in the group. I watch for how they interact with their peers as well as with the punger ones in the group. 8ut long term is the onV reliable way to tell if I'm
effec-t on the younger
Spdsg 1995

/YourtflYoru<n 37

RESULTS

Wrong, young people seem to understand that if they do not leam selfdiscipline and respect for othen, they'll continue to exploit each other sexually, no matter how many health clinics and condomdistribution plans are created. The timeless message of Paul and Timothy echoes in the hearts of many young people toda,v, young people who want to 'flee evil'and "pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.' They are looking for courageous models 'who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Tim. 2:22).lf young people don't leam respect and justice from "those who call on the Lord," problems of adolescent culture will continue to soar.

developing faith, can be channeled into the church. While all sorts of demands compete for
teenagers' time, they respect a call of commitment to a group. Being held accountable by a group of caring peers. in fact, is exactly what many teens are looking for. A structure that is explicit and even costly (meaning that other activities may be missed) only adds to their desire to be part of some thing that really matters. ln Religious Education Ministry with Youth, Lawrence Richards reports that when he asked teenagers "How do you define church?" nearly all defined the word with a strong relational dimension-for example, 'a group of people who care for each other and support each other.' You can expect teens to commit to Christian community.

Expect a commitment to Christian community. Teenagers have a powerful psychological need to

belong-a longing that, for adolescents with

being effective. Kids go off to college and maybe

lose their minds for a little while, but er/entualty, are

their lives beginning to count for Christ? ls He in their vocation? lt's not whether they've become Christian workers or whatenrer, but \^/hether they're Christian d@tors, Christian garlcage rnn, Christian rnerchandising managers. Owq FuBhum, First Unitd Metffils't Ctturdl, Dundin, Ha.
melsure spiritual growth in my youths is to watch

B"ing

Pentecostal, I think the easiest way to

them respond durirg uprship. How are ty partkipating? But even that can be a facade. A better gauge is if they're involved in areas of ministry or seruice. That tells me they're taking what they're leaming and discovering ways to express it somehow-in drama, in discipteship, music, or shortterm missions trips. Mark Link Warde, Gospe/ Lightlnuse ChLtdl, &llas, Tex,

grorp-{ hope we're doing things to shol them ue care about them ard are buildirp trust. When I get in front of the youth group and tell them, 'l really appreciate the family that is holding this event in their garage, so let's be sensitive to them. Since they have young kids, maybe you gr.rys could just srnoke ofi the properbf 0^ns n^,r want a cigarette to come between them and God's love). And the kids respond, 'Hey, dude, no problem, you just need to tdlus." That's grou/th. But sometimes lthink back on nry past experience and start wishing for a youth group of 50 core, derroted kids \/ho want to praise and worship God. Rlck Todd, Christ the Kng Church, Bellingham,
Wash.

On. of my biggest indicators is how the group interacts together and how they treat each other individually. Whitney Dempsey, First Presbyterian Church, Eko, Nev. Jad<sonville, fu.
can do is be obedient. My teens take micro-steps of growth. Uke ufpn srnokers come into the youth

L-roming from a counseling background, I'm skeptical of the word measure because I think, as humans, we're down here hlng to rneasure, tryrr to see. But you never know what goes on inside. SomeOoOV can put on a great act and great works for Christ...but inside? I don't think that's ours to see. A46on Hudson, Orteg Unitd Methodist Churd1

l, be scary to think l'm hired to produce spiritual groMh in my yor.rth group. Sometimes I think all I

"*

I r""rrr. the spiritual results of tlre kids the same way I measure my own spiritual results: Can I see any fruit of the Spirit? Do thry want to slad serving? Do they work with other kids? Do they go to the

38

YourrNyoRxn

lsptl'gtgy'

RrsULTs

Expect the practicing of spiritual disciplines. Novelist Walker Percy writes of a search that "anyone would undertake if he were not sunk in the everydayness of his own life." Just so, the adolescent's laborious search for genuine Christian faith is not a single, emotional, fireside decision at summer camp. A teenager's quest for faith must be bolstered b_v deliberate actions that nurture faith. Adolescens understand the importance of spiritual rlisciplines; to doubt they are ready for disciplined Bible study, genuine prayer, compa.qsienate service, and weekly worship is a mistake. Teenagers need to be chalIenged to hike the mountain called maturity. Expect an emerging other<enteredness. Many youth workers emphasize what could be called a vertical Christianity-that is, establishing

and maintaining a close relationship to God, with corresponding emphases on prayer. worship, and other activities that keep one's focus on God. Ado lescents, however, are highly capable of a horizontal dimension to their Christianity that impels them to reach out and care for other people. A Search lnstitute study by Peter Benson and colleagues revealed that about 30 percent of young adolescents are vertically oriented, about l5 per' cent are horizontally oriented-and 55 percent bai' ance the vertical and horizontal dimensions of religion. Expect a Christ<entered lifestyle. We must be clear about one thing: adolescents can make a genuine and meaningful decision to accept Christ. While the ways in which they think and feel
'!

down-and-outs? Do they get outside their circle? tings. And by how qey tpa] peoplH,vtth lore and These are all good clues. Jac* Moore, Westminster acceptance, er are tty judgntental?.Who are their friends? What klnds of people do they suround PBbWtundurch, Mdford, themsefues with? Do they tend to stay hside their in there long enough to watch your youth o\ /n cornfort zone, or do they go bq md (O htH fumar, futChurc/l.of the f@arelle, Namp,l&. groupbrow and see-what drey Oo with i\eir li,s. grow prsvious and churcfr cftange saw teens in my N'l and participate dn a mission outreac6. lwatdhed l\ote how many-kids-and sponsors-actq4ly' theni grow from teenyboppers into strong Chris- are calld into the full-time,mlrpry..ryou/ marv loiJs tians ilho were reallv intiiested in missidns and do for.r trarre in your discipbsfripn<ids rally hungry : wanted to work for ihe Lord Jesus Christ. Bah for GoOt Do kkls calt yor"r wift their questirns abcxrt ;'." problematic details in their lives, or because they Wdf,id<, First Prpsbytqtur Cttueh, Nlqt, : ". iteed hdp gettirg their spiritual needs \rvhat hres in their dotng God I fiern WfEn esk United It tney stay around or not. Terry Stephens, F on-any given day, if they c?l give tne.an ans\ffer, I eavqi Cnriitin Church, witmingtoi, know l'm meeting their spiritual needs. Jatoy &rI don't toow of any way to qr-rantify spiritual resutts. pqltq, elvary Tanfu, lruing, Tax I think I get an idea of my effectiveness by talking 6r Dpiritual results are virtuatty unrneasurablg. vvitn XiOs] nang'ng ;,ri nniin-ner, oOseritig_ -.. listening io trdqUestions thsy ait, gettinB-farniliar*: you start lr)ring to students' spirituality by !o_y_,1;;{,: wifr mdrOenrctohattnes, watdring'Ulm \orst$p. inuch Scripture they can quote, how much timb",;.,:ins t Oafpiano ard lead worsfrlp brfienr, orten fty spencj in prayer,.by their attih.rdes, whetlr.orr;:' .;;', nottlrcy have senant hearts---such thirgs:can be''." I'll wat& fltd [ds. Just to se sornb of tte ms '' tfteir qps OoseO ar16 tt'teii hands raised b encour- false inbicators of what's really going on in theii ' agrng io me Oecause I loow they wouidn't b dos- hearts. But those evidences may be.all we in! tieir eyes-inO-iaising their'hands with those sometimes. A deeper indicator, lthink, is e.xamining souls ef ressioni of worship o-n their face if they didn't how muctr they are willing to risk sharirq their P6rby' Cqtal Sie{i loving each other. and ,"rtyt*tan attitude of worship in tlreir It also matters that I observe kids in several set- dan Church, Bterrla,ttort, Wash.

II I1*g

Ore.

Ta<.

rnst?

tt.C.

ttr{nl witr

\t4,.

ii.'

heve

ftarts.

W,

Sprttrg 1995

/ YouTmronKn

RTSULTS

about their faith may be different than in an adult faith-and while they are inclined to live out the principles of faith differently-there is no need to doubt that adolescents can make a decision to live a Christcentered life. The question, though. remains: What does the Christ<entered life look like in an adolescent? The Preacher writes truly that much knowledge brings much grief (Eccl. 1:18). Which is whv persons in the middle of a new spiritual quest do not believe anything too much. They're fearful. They're in a moratorium of faith. But exploration is still necessary, for out of it comes the discovery of a newfound, maturing faith. 'Our old life is still there," writes educator and author Laurent Daloz, 'but its meaning has profoundly changed because we have left home, seen it from afar, and been transformed
by that vision."

When it comes to cultivating adolescent spiritual-

ity, let's not miss the silver Iining because we're

expecting gold. 0

Center for Relationship DeveloP ment and prolessor ol ps-vcholory at Seattle Pacific University. He is the author ol Helging the Sntggling Adolescent, Seuen Secrels of a Healthy Doring Relotionship. and ktLp's Unven Enerny.

Irs Parron III rs codirector of the

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