“Poppy’s Corner”

by Steven Donnini

by Steven Donnini
Copyright 2004

1
 Introduction

“Poppy’s Corner” is a 24 hour urban Convenience Store

located in an inner city neighborhood of Buffalo, New York.

The store is small, with a counter, microwave, display

racks for chips, snacks, overhead racks for cigarettes,

soda, beer and wine coolers. The front of the counter is

tightly packed shelving containing packages of everything

from BC Powder to Kodak film. After midnight, Poppy’s

store becomes the Mecca of activity for the night crawlers

and lost souls from the old inner city streets.

I first walked into Poppy’s corner store on Niagara St. in

Buffalo, New York in 1970. It was a warm oasis on a frigid

Buffalo night. Poppy’s is the only neighborhood 24-hour

convenience store within many blocks, complete with a

counter, display racks for snacks, chips, candy, magazines,

beer, wine and soda coolers. Hanging from the ceiling are

racks of cigarettes, Kodak film, BC Powder, and cigarette

lighters. I bought a pack of Camel cigarettes and haven’t

been back until now. It hasn’t changed much in 30 years.

It’s still the after midnight Mecca for the night crawlers

and lost souls from the old eastside city streets. Poppy,

once a spry young Polish Jewish emigrant, is now house

2
bound most of the time. He supervises his many convenience

stores by phone.

OMAR Lotta, night shift store manager in his fifties has no

illusions about life in the city after midnight. He has

seen all kinds of people come into the store over the years

and has developed his own way of dealing with problems.

OMAR, “I learned that these animals would kill you for five

bucks, or just for fun. Now, when they take out a knife or

gun, I take things into my own hands. I call it my Black

Beauty.” He holds up a black aluminum bat. “It’s the

cornerstone of my urban pacification system.”

Poppy hired single mom SALLY Amagone as night shift cashier

to work with OMAR. She has a well-developed sense of

morality and is easy going by nature. Their shift starts

at 11:00 PM and ends at 7:00 AM.

The Holidays are always the time when family history and

new conflicts come to the surface. SALLY, “My brother came

home for Christmas last year looking like a member of the

Skinheads, complete with a shaved head and Swastika

tattoos. He was pierced everywhere, including his penis

where he has tattooed that reads: Up with White Power.

When he tried to show it to everyone, Dad told him to

leave, before he lost his manhood forever.”

3
SALLY bets the agnostic OMAR, that before Christmas Day he

will witness a real miracle and it will be acknowledged by

a higher power. For 30 year old MITCH Alveraz, a regular

at Poppy’s, its always difficult being around family. But,

now things have gotten a lot hotter, because he ripped off

drug dealers to cover his young wife’s hospital bill.

MITCH, “I went to confession, the Priest said I was in

mortal danger and that I better put my affairs in order.”

AUGGY Bazyki, 32, is a childhood friend of MITCH and a

Poppy’s regular. They have grown up on the same street,

went to school together, and have been busted together many

times for a few misdemeanor crimes and a petty drug

possession, a marijuana joint. AUGGY battles manic

depression (Bipolar Disorder). AUGGY comes into Poppy’s

one night, desperate for money. He pulls out a gun and

demands money from SALLY. OMAR quickly disarms him, to

discover it’s a life like plastic toy gun. AUGGY can’t

afford to get arrested again, so OMAR lets him go, after

all it was a toy gun. AUGGY, “Poppy has been ripping me

off for years, it’s time I got something back.” There are

always the store videotapes that Poppy’s likes to look at.

Every time there’s an armed robbery in the store the

insurance goes up, so they keep the tapes and don’t call

the police unless there’s gunfire or someone gets

4
assaulted. AUGGY’S robbery attempt is one of those times

when it’s better for everyone to just forget it. Then, one

night before Christmas, MITCH’S drug dealing friends come

looking for him at Poppy’s. “Two-Step” (Mora Edelstein)

enters the store for a pack of cigarettes. Nearly fifty,

she looks like she stepped out of the 60’s. She turned out

to be what everyone was warned they would become if they

didn’t stop taking drugs. After a stroke, caused by crack

cocaine use, left her right leg limp, everyone started to

call her Two-Step. Because, she had to take two steps to

keep up with everyone else. Later, the drug dealers arrive

at Poppy’s.

They drive by and fire their guns into the store breaking

glass windows and wine bottles. When the shooting was over

MITCH, SALLY, and OMAR are all hunkered down on the floor

behind the counter. Two-Step was gone, and there was a

blood trail going out the backdoor leading into the alley.

OMAR calls Poppy to report the events of the night. He’s

concerned that the store could loose its NY State Alcohol

License because of the shooting. They agree they must file

a police report.

It is Christmas Eve, SALLY and OMAR have just started their

shift.

5
MITCH comes in for a pack of smokes. SALLY asks, “So,

what’s your story for the Narcotics Anonymous group?”

MITCH answers, “This is the way I tell it in group. It was

a cold winter night and a Puerto Rican drug gang was after

me, so I took shelter in Poppy’s Corner Store. They came

to the store for me and drove by shooting bullets through

the store-hitting TWO-STEP in the chest. It traveled

straight through her lung. Blood squirted everywhere,

that’s when I had my moment of clarity. Then, I knew I had

to stop doing drugs. I had to do something different,

otherwise like they say at NA, I was going to jail or the

morgue, one or the other. The Buffalo Police arrested me.

When I stood in front of the judge, I said that I was sorry

that I had caused so much pain to my family and to TWO-

STEP. He asked me who TWO-STEP was, so I explained that

she had a stroke from rock cocaine. I told him about the

shooting. He said it’s a miracle that she’s still alive.”

OMAR sums up the story… “I think SALLY was right about some

things, at least the part about it being a miracle that

TWO-STEP survived a bullet through her lung.

MITCH, well, he has a tendency for creating misfortune for

everyone around him. Maybe a job in the health insurance

industry or a full time rehab counselor position would get

him off the street.

6
AUGGY packs more mischief, pound for pound, than anyone I

know. It’s not because he’s bipolar, although I’m sure

that doesn’t help matters. He’s got no direction or

impulse control.

TWO-STEP? I think things would have worked out differently

if she had stopped using pot, crack cocaine and LSD. At

one time, she wasn’t a bad looking girl.

SALLY is right about me though, I’m a Scorpio and it’s hell

when I can’t find someone to fight with. Fortunately, this

time of the year there are lots of opportunities to fight

with my family. It isn’t that I don’t like my family, it’s

that I can’t stand to be around them for more than 3 hours

a year or I get a sick feeling in my gut.

Every once in a while someone like SALLY will surprise me.

I don’t agree with most of her religious dogma, but she has

a gift, an unexpected kindness that causes a lot of strange

feelings in me. I think it’s only right to have more than

one miracle in a Christmas story even if the people don’t

deserve it.”

7
 Poppy’s Corner

By Steven D. Donnini

Library Of Congress
WGA
Copyright Steven Donnini 2004

8
Setting

“Poppy’s Corner” (24 hour) urban Convenience Store

Buffalo, NY.

The store is small, with a counter, microwave, display

racks for chips, snacks, cooler for drinks (pop, beer,

wine) and overhead racks for cigarettes. The front of

the counter is tightly packed shelving and packages of

everything from BC power to Kodak film.

After midnight, Poppy’s store becomes the Mecca of

activity for the night crawlers and lost souls from

the city streets.

CHARACTERS

Jack “OMAR” Lotta

Fifty year old, Iranian night shift convenience store

manager with no illusions about life in the city.

SALLY Amagone

35 year old night shift cashier with easy nature and a

well developed sense of morality.

9
 MITCH (Michael Alveraz)

30 year old Puerto Rican drug user, trafficker, store

customer. He has a history petty crimes.

AUGGY Bazycki

He is a 25 year old store customer that battles manic

depression (Bipolar Disorder).

TWO-STEP (Mora Edelstien).

A 35-year-old woman that looks like she stepped out of

the 60’s. She’s become a spaced out crack head and

frequent store customer.

10
INTERIOR POPPY’S STORE NIGHT

Midnight at Poppy’s Convenience Store, Omar is

stocking the cigarettes over the counter. Sally is
counting money for the safe drop. The store is
decorated with Holiday lights and décor.

OMAR

The Holidays are here again. When I was

a kid Iran it was fun but now. Forget it.

SALLY

I haven’t started shopping for my kid.

Cole doesn’t seem to give a damn about
Jenny. He calls and tells her he’ll pick
her up a 5:00 and then he doesn’t show.
He gets drunk with his friends at the
restaurant he works at.
He always preferred barfly friends to family.

OMAR

Family is highly over rated. I don’t know

too many people that can honestly say
that they would love to live next door
to their family members.

SALLY

What about your Mom? She seems very sweet.

Whenever she calls I enjoy talking with her.

OMAR

I love my Mom! But, I don’t want to live

with her.

SALLY

Don’t you want to see your sisters at

Christmas?

11
 OMAR

Yeah. Well that’s a different story.

It all depends on which one. We had a
falling out when my older sister gave
up Islam and became a Krishna Hindu.

SALLY

As in Hare Krishna?

OMAR

Like the ones wrapped

with the pink cloth, selling the
Hindu books about their Lord Krishna.
She went to live in San Francisco in
1972. They must have got her in an airport
or shopping mall. It’s communal, they
all pray, eat and live together.
She acts as if she’s stoned all the time.
There’s a lot of preying, dancing and Curry.

SALLY

How did the rest of the family take it?

OMAR

Well, it was quite the sight at the dinner

table Thanksgiving Day. Half the family is
Christian. The other half is Islamic.
When sister showed up Hindu, my Mother
tried not to look at her.

SALLY

Sounds like a Norman Rockwell moment.

OMAR

There was my sister wrapped in pink from

her shaved head to her dirty toes.
My corn fed Christian Fundamentalists,
had their own kind of hand signals
to express displeasure. Their kids just
couldn’t take their eyes off her.

12
 SALLY

My brother came home for Christmas last

year looking like a member of the
Manson family. Complete with shaved
head and Swastikas tattoos. He was
pierced everywhere, including his penis
where he has a tattooed “Up with White Power”.
When he tried to show it to everyone,
my Dad told the stupid fool to
leave.

OMAR

I’ve been called a fool, but

not a stupid fool.
That’s got to hurt.

SALLY

Well, my Mom started crying and wouldn’t

talk for the rest of the day.

OMAR

I meant the tattooing and piercing

his penis.

SALLY

I’m sure it did. Yahweh bless him.

OMAR

How do you know Yahweh would bless him?

SALLY

I know you don’t believe in Jesus.

I’ll make a bet with you that before
Christmas you’ll be a believer.

OMAR

You’re on. What’s the bet?

13
 SALLY

He will make his presence known and

you will give me three nights off work.
If he doesn’t, I’ll cover for you
for three nights.

OMAR

You’ve got a bet.

SALLY

You will be a witness to a supernatural

event. A miracle.

OMAR

All right! It’s snowing again.

The last time it came down like this
was in ’97.

SALLY

Yeah. That was some storm.

OMAR

That’s the winter I almost lost my

eyesight.

SALLY
That’s scary.

OMAR

It was OK after a few weeks.

But I had to wear blinders on my eyes
the whole time.

SALLY

What happened?

14
 OMAR

I was working in Poppy’s, Main street store,

and this punk came in to rob me.
I told him to go get a job and he
stabbed me right here and thumbed me
in the eyes. Then he took all the cash.

(OMAR shows a scar on his stomach.)

SALLY

That’s why I don’t carry lots of cash.

So, what happened?

OMAR

I learned that these animals would kill

you just for fun.
Now, when they take out a knife or gun,
I take things into my own hands.

SALLY

What happened to your ear?

(SALLY points to OMAR half missing ear.)

OMAR

One night at the Pelican Bar and

I got drunk.

SALLY

Yeah and…

OMAR

I got in a fight with a punk and he

cut my ear like this.
The piece of ear fell under a table
or something, we never did find it.
The place was full of rats.

(OMAR leans to her to show off the sliced off ear.)

15
 SALLY

That’s OK you don’t need to show me.

I used to work in the ER at Buffalo General.
You wouldn’t believe it.
Saturday nights the blood would get all over
the floors. I’ve seen it all, knifings,
shootings, car accidents
and over doses. After two years,
I had seen more than enough.

(AUGGY walks in the door and shakes of the snow from his
parker.)

AUGGY

Wow! Man, it’s winterized out there.

This is why people go to Florida.

SALLY

Where have you been? Haven’t seen you

in a while.

AUGGY

In the lock up.

SALLY

What did you do?

OMAR

Why ask?

(AUGGY is walking around the store in circles.)

AUGGY

A bogus bust. But it’s 30 days

of clean clothes, warm bed and 3 meals a day.
Praise the lord. Give me a quart of
Bull and a pack of Kools.

16
 OMAR looks at AUGGY with suspicion.

OMAR

You got cash?

AUGGY stops walking and cocks his head back.

AUGGY

Just enough to get bye.

SALLY with little concern.

SALLY

You don’t look so good.

OMAR

There’s crank on the street. (Goading)

AUGGY

You’re the man. (Angry)

AUGGY pays for his cigarettes and beer and leaves the
store.

SALLY

Why do you always ride him?

OMAR

These people are all the same.

(His face expressing the apathy of the street)
When they get into the rock cocaine.
They’ll do anything.

SALLY

Bless them.

17
 OMAR

I have to wait on them, but I don’t

have to care about them. There’s all
kinds of losers out there.
Lazy losers,
Stupid losers,
smart ass losers
and poor lotto losers.
I want to be a rich lotto winner.

SALLY

They’re harmless.

OMAR

Harmless? Bullshit, they don’t know

I have the anti theft,
urban pacification system?

OMAR lifts a black aluminum baseball bat from behind

the counter, his arms covered with tattoos.

SALLY

Since, I’ve been here you haven’t

needed it.

OMAR

When I first started working for Poppy,

I was robbed every damn week.
It was the same gang.
Word travels fast when you’re a push over.
After the first month I wised up.

SALLY

OH?
OMAR

One night a couple of balloon heads

came in, they didn’t look good to me.
So, before they had a chance to pull
a gun or knife I asked them to leave.
They gave me some lip…

18
 so I gave them some fat lip.

OMAR swings the bat.

SALLY

They know we don’t have much cash

in the till.

OMAR

$200 will buy enough rock for a day.

SALLY

Most of them just want to come in and

get a pack of smokes.

OMAR walks over to the door and opens it for TWO-STEP.

SALLY

What can I do for you?

TWO-STEP

A pack of Winston please.

SALLY
Isn’t it cold out there?

TWO-STEP shakes off the snow like a dog.

TWO-STEP

Yeah. It’s a tight cold, with the

wind and all.

SALLY

We’re expecting more snow tonight.

19
 TWO-STEP

I need to warm up a bit, before I go home.

OMAR

Stick around we could use the company.

So, What’s up with Yahweh? What about
Jahovah?

SALLY

Yahweh is the real name of God.

The J in Jehovah didn’t exist until
200 years ago.

TWO-STEP

Bless you. People should use a person’s

real name.

OMAR
(Pointing at TWO-STEP)

You’d think that Yahweh would have

taken better care of her.

SALLY

The Lord works to teach everyone about compassion.

TWO-STEP

I don’t blame Yahweh for my disability.

OMAR

How’d you get so messed up?

TWO-STEP

It wasn’t me that caused it.

SALLY

20
It’s the way it is. We all have a
place in Yahweh’s grand plan.

OMAR

Yahweh is into selling cigarettes

and beer? I’m supposed to be stuck
in this place from 12 midnight until 8
in the morning, because Yahweh wants
me to learn something?

SALLY

Yeah looks that way.

TWO-STEP

When I was in the hospital after the

stroke, I saw angels.

OMAR

Right, I saw Santa Claus standing

on the street begging for money.

SALLY

So, you don’t have to see everything

that way.

TWO-STEP

Some other people see Angels and

believe they are real.

OMAR

I can see this conversation is going

to evolve into a Bible Story.
Maybe it will be put into a future
version of the Bible.

SALLY

21
You don’t have to believe in Jesus.
But he is the only way you’re going
to go to heaven.

OMAR

I thought I had found heaven when

I met Rita.

TWO-STEP

You can’t find heaven through another

person.

OMAR

You just said that I could find heaven

through Jesus.

SALLY

Jesus was the Son of Yahweh. Other people

are just people.

OMAR

I have been bathed in the blood of

the lamb, just like you.

SALLY

Oh?

OMAR

When I was 13, my oldest sister

was drawn into a group of Christian
Fundamentalists.

SALLY

So, what’s so bad about that?

OMAR

22
My parents are old school Islamic,
they thought it would be good for me
to get away from the gang I was
hanging with in.

OMAR

They enrolled me in an Islamic youth camp.

SALLY

Was it a good experience?

OMAR

I ran away after 3 days. I just

didn’t get it. The whole thing was
about getting from one meeting to
another. It’s all gibberish to me.
If Allah really cared about me,
things would have been different.

TWO-STEP

I’ll pray for you.

OMAR

No thanks. I’ll do my own praying.

I’m afraid you’ll screw it up.

SALLY

Jesus is always there when you’re ready.

OMAR

So, are Jack Daniels and Disneyland?

TWO-STEP

I used to feel that way.

SALLY

23
 I think we need some music around here,
to lighten things up.

OMAR

Oh Jesus, not the Mormons.

I’d rather listen to the Hare Krishna’s.
How about, the Pope Sings Album?

SALLY turns on CD of Christmas music.

TWO-STEP

I like it.

OMAR

I’ve got to change the security tapes.

OMAR takes a box of VHS tape and walks into the back
room.

SALLY

I think his family has hurt him.

TWO-STEP

My family is still in town.

They call me all the time wanting
money to help support Mom.

SALLY

Oh.

TWO-STEP

It’s hard enough to take care

of myself.

SALLY

Yeah, me too.

TWO-STEP

24
I still feel guilty.

SALLY

My Mom’s in a nursing home.

The other day an old man tried to
get in bed with her.
She’s a double amputee.
She called for help. The nurse came
to her rescue. Thank Yahweh.

TWO-STEP

I thought that I was going to be

placed in a home by the state.

SALLY

Why is that?

TWO-STEP

Well, I was using rock. I’ve been

arrested more times than I can remember.

SALLY

Did you think about quitting?

TWO-STEP

The last time the judge said I was

going to jail or to rehab or placed
in a state home for the insane.

SALLY

So, you choose rehab?

TWO-STEP

Yeah, it was so hard on my brain.

I got some rock from another inmate.
They told me I had a stroke.

25
 But I think they just wanted to slow
me down with some other drugs.
I blew a gasket.

OMAR walks back into the store from the back room.

OMAR

Have you tried the new scratch off

game from the Lotto?

TWO-STEP

Nope.

OMAR

It’s just a buck. Try one.

It’s called “Big Pig”.
If you scratch three little
pigs you win.

TWO-STEP

All right.

OMAR pulls out a roll of playing cards and tears one

off. He hands one to TWO-STEP.
She eagerly scrapes away the soft silver covering from
the card on the countertop.

TWO-STEP

I’m a winner. It says so right here.

Three little pigs.

OMAR

(Incredulous) Let me see that.

He looks at the card for some time.

OMAR

26
 Looks like your $35 dollars richer.
Sign the back and I’ll give you
the cash.

SALLY

Great. I haven’t seen a winner yet.

You’re the first.

TWO-STEP

That calls for a celebration.

SALLY

What’s your pleasure?

TWO-STEP

I’ll take café mocha, and a sweet roll.

OMAR

Want to try your luck again.

SALLY

Do you want the sweet roll heated?

TWO-STEP

Sure.

SALLY puts the sweet roll in the microwave.

MITCH opens the front door and enters looking edgy.

OMAR

Hi. What’s happening man?

MITCH

27
 I’m stressed out.

MITCH waves OMAR to him as he walks to the back of the

store.

OMAR

Yeah?

MITCH

Come here.

SALLY
Hi there.

OMAR
So?

MITCH

These guys are out to kill me.

OMAR

What the happened?

MITCH

I told you about my wife getting sick.

OMAR

OK. I remember. That was a while ago.

MITCH

Well I didn’t have any health

insurance. She didn’t want to go to
county hospital so I had to do a deal.
It was woman stuff, you know.
The surgery was $40,000.

28
 OMAR

What are you talking about?

MITCH

These guys needed someone to deliver

a package and collect money in Detroit.
So, I did it and got ripped off.
I came back empty handed.

OMAR

Oh shit your screwed. They’re going

to kill you.

MITCH

I gave them back $10,000.

But that isn’t going to do it
for them. They want it all. Now.

OMAR

Where did you get $10,000?

MITCH

That’s confidential. My wife has

been answering the phone and
listening to what they’re going
to do to her if I don’t pay.

OMAR

Who is it?

MITCH

Recco is the one that I’m most

afraid of. He’s killed guys before.

OMAR

Can you send your wife out of

town for a while?

29
 MITCH

She said that if she leaves,

it would be for good.

OMAR

Maybe that’s not so bad.

She got you into this in the
first place.

MITCH

You know how much I love her.

OMAR

Be realistic she is 25 years old

and you’re too old.

MITCH

I know, but I love her. You know

what it’s like.

OMAR

Women want two things from older

guys like us. Sex and Security.
That’s all. The love thing is all
about what we want and they play to it.

MITCH

I believe she loves me.

OMAR

For woman love is a matter of

convenience.
Let me buy you a beer.

OMAR walks behind the counter and opens a bottle of

Rolling Rock and hands it to MITCH.

30
 MITCH

Thanks.

SALLY

You’re not going to drink that

in the store?

OMAR

It’s cold out. Give the guy a break.

SALLY

The sign says, No alcohol Consumption,

No Guns, in this store.

OMAR

I don’t see any open bottle.

SALLY

If a cop sees him, you’re in trouble,

not me.

OMAR

So what?

SALLY

So, Poppy told me, don’t ever let

anyone drink beer or wine in the store.

OMAR

Poppy isn’t here. Right?

MITCH

I don’t see him.

OMAR

31
 Give it a rest, it’s the Holidays.

TWO-STEP

He’s right, it’s Holiday time.

Let’s party!

SALLY

Not me.

OMAR opens the cooler.

OMAR

What do you folks want to drink?

TWO-STEP

B&J tropical wine cooler.

MITCH

Give me a Bull.

OMAR

What if your new friends from

Detroit show up?

MITCH

I’ll slide out the back.

SALLY

I’ll have a Yoo-Hoo.

AUGGY walks in the front door.

OMAR

Didn’t expect you back so soon.

32
 AUGGY

It’s dropped 10 degrees.

SALLY

Join the party.

AUGGY

Don’t mind if I do.

OMAR

What’s your pleasure? The drinks are

on the house.

AUGGY pulls out a gun from inside his old army coat.

AUGGY

Give me all the money in the cash

register.

SALLY

Oh my.

OMAR

What the are you doing?

AUGGY

I mean it. Get over there and put

all the cash in a bag.

OMAR

No way.

SALLY

33
OK. Just don’t point that thing at
anyone. It could go off.

AUGGY

You all think I’m crazy and

you’re right.

OMAR

Don’t give him a dime.

AUGGY

Do you want me to shoot you?

SALLY

No. You don’t need to do that.

I’ll give you the money.

OMAR

No don’t. Poppy will fire us.

SALLY

Do I care?

AUGGY

I’m in a hurry. Don’t screw around.

OMAR

We know you. The police will be

looking for you.

AUGGY

Poppy has been ripping me off for

Year’s. It’s time I got something back.

SALLY

34
What are you talking about?

AUGGY

You charge 20 cents more than anywhere

else for a pack of cigarettes and
50 cents more for beer.

OMAR

Tell me where you can go around here

for a beer and cigarettes in the
middle of the night?

AUGGY

So what? What’s the difference?

It’s still a pack of cigarettes.

OMAR

But, when you want them bad enough

you pay more.

AUGGY

So it’s all about taking advantage

of me because I need them.

MITCH

That’s called Capitalism. Put people

down, hold them down, and charge
them more for a simple pleasure.

TWO-STEP

Yeah. We have nowhere else to go

at this time of the night.
So, while Poppy sleeps we pay more.

OMAR

The point is, this is Poppy’s store.

MITCH

35
Then why are you giving stuff away?

SALLY

It’s the holiday season.

OMAR

See you can’t show a little

Holiday sprit without it getting
you in trouble.

AUGGY

I still want the money.

OMAR

Go ahead shoot me.

AUGGY

So you want me to shoot?

SALLY

Please put the gun down.

I’ll get the money.

OMAR

I’m the store manager, I say, no way.

MITCH

Shoot him in the butt.

AUGGY

Why would I do that?

MITCH

That way he won’t die.

AUGGY

36
I’d rather shoot him in the foot.

MITCH

No too messy.

OMAR

How would you both like to meet

Black Beauty?

AUGGY

What’s that?

MITCH

It’s the baseball bat he keeps behind

the counter.

AUGGY

I’m getting sick of all this bullshit

talk. Hand it over.

SALLY

There’s only $28 in the register.

TWO-STEP
Jesus, that’s hardly worth getting
in trouble over.

AUGGY

Everybody just shut up.

SALLY

Don’t get upset. Now there’s always

another way to get what you need.

OMAR

37
 If you’re going to shoot me, go for it.

AUGGY

I know how to use this.

OMAR

I bet it isn’t even loaded.

AUGGY

Here see.

AUGGY points the pistol at the floor and pulls the

trigger. The hammer clicks, but nothing happens.

OMAR

See, I told you.

SALLY

I knew you didn’t want to shoot anyone.

SALLY reaches into her purse and takes out a $20 bill.

OMAR

No. Don’t give him anything.

SALLY

He’ll pay me back. Right AUGGY.

AUGGY

Sure. When I get my check on the 15th.

OMAR

He’s what I call a Mama Moocher.

TWO-STEP

38
 He’s just trying to get by.

MITCH

I say let Black Beauty do the talking.

As long as I’ve known you, I’ve never
seen you with a gun. Hit him!
Knock some sense into him.

OMAR

No body is going to hit anybody.

I don’t want the hassle. We don’t
want a trip to the Emergency Room.
Give me that gun before you
get yourself killed.

AUGGY hands OMAR the gun.

AUGGY

I didn’t really want to hurt anyone.

The phone rings. SALLY picks it up.

SALLY

Hello! Hi Poppy it’s kind of late for

you, what’s up?
It’s a slow night because of the
snowstorm.
How’s the family?

OMAR

He’s just checking to see if someone

is here.

SALLY

Don’t worry, everything is fine,

have a good night.

SALLY puts the phone back on the wall mount.

39
 TWO-STEP

That old man knows where every penny is.

MITCH

Is he a Jew?

OMAR

I think he’s from Armenia or Serbia.

All I know is that he’s been good to me.

SALLY

Why do you care where he came from?

MITCH

Just look around at all the stores,

the owners are Jews or Pakistanis.

TWO-STEP

What about the Koreans? There are lots

of them that own shops too.

AUGGY

Yeah. They got lots of money from

selling that knock off stuff.

OMAR

Why don’t Puerto Ricans own shops?

AUGGY

I wasn’t going to hurt nobody.

SALLY

So, what are we going to do?

OMAR

40
He’s harmless.

SALLY

But, Poppy looks at all the store tapes.

OMAR

I’ll explain that he was just kidding

and that it was a plastic gun.

SALLY

Aren’t we on tape now?

OMAR

Why the change of heart?

SALLY

Well, he had the gun pointed at us,

now he doesn’t.

OMAR

Yeah. So let’s just pretend everything

is OK. There’s no sound recording.
Poppy didn’t want to pay more for
the microphone to be installed.

AUGGY

Sorry, I didn’t mean for you all to

get in trouble.

OMAR

The only person that’s in trouble is

MITCH.

MITCH

What?

41
 OMAR

Tell them.

MITCH

I don’t want to.

OMAR

MITCH has a Puerto Rican drug gang

looking for him. That’s why he
can’t go home.

MITCH

It’s a little misunderstanding.

OMAR

Mister wise guy here got ripped off

by some drug guys in Detroit and now
the guys that own the stuff are going
to kill him if he doesn’t come
up with $30,000. Is that about right?

SALLY

So, now you’re a drug dealer?

MITCH

Fuck No. I was just moving it for

enough money to pay for my wives
surgery. They ripped me off.

TWO-STEP

If they see you here they’ll kill

all of us.

AUGGY

42
Oh Yeah!

MITCH

How would you know?

OMAR

Because he’s a fuck up too.

MITCH

They won’t want to be seen.

SALLY

So, You’re going to hide until they

kill your wife?

OMAR

Of course, that’s what he is doing.

SALLY

Send her to Puerto Rico until things

blow over.

MITCH

She won’t go. She would never leave

her mother alone. Besides, these
guys don’t forgive or forget.

TWO-STEP

Don’t you get tired of the hassle?

AUGGY

Every day.

SALLY

43
What if I told you there’s a way out
of all this?

OMAR

Here comes the fish people story.

TWO-STEP

Let her talk.

SALLY

Jesus was born to save you from

all this.

AUGGY

And you read this in the Bible?

SALLY

Yes, at church Bible study.

OMAR

It’s only a story some guys John,

Isaiah and Ezekiel wrote.

AUGGY

I wonder what they were smoking.

MITCH

Christmas is about getting people

deeper in debt.

SALLY

You must be one of those liberals

that believe government should take
care of you or that the credit card
makes you use it.

MITCH

44
I’ll tell you, Ezekiel can’t get
these gangsters off my ass.

OMAR

The Church changes the good book

every few years. The New Revised
Fundamentalists Version number two.

TWO-STEP

Everybody is afraid that Yahweh doesn’t

really exist. So we can’t live up to
what we are told is right.
Personally I like the Baptist.
It’s simple you do it their way or
you burn in hell.

MITCH

Look at you. Do you think if there

was a Jesus that he would have
healed you?

TWO-STEP

It was that hospital that did this

to me. They’ve got some powerful drugs
there. They can kiss my ass.

SALLY

Jesus can save you from a life of torment

and an eternity in hell.

OMAR

Then why are you here in the middle

of all this?

SALLY

45
I don’t know. But, I know you’re
going to hell.

AUGGY

I’m an expert on that.

MITCH

I went to confession and the Priest

said I was in mortal danger and that
I better put my affairs in order.

AUGGY

Minga! You’re going to hell for sure.

SALLY

Not if he takes Jesus in his heart.

Ah, The Catholic Church is all
about rituals.

OMAR

So, all the Catholics, Jews and Arabs

are going to hell. What a bunch of
bull shit.

SALLY

Well yes. I’m afraid so.

TWO-STEP

It’s going to be hot and crowded.

Based on what I’ve seen.

OMAR

Look, the only thing that matters is

that you have enough cash to get by.
Not having money is hell.

46
 SALLY

Believe what you want now. But when the

end comes you’ll change your mind.
My Dad was a life long atheist and in
his final moments, he accepted Jesus
into his heart.

TWO-STEP

We will all cover our bets at that point.

MITCH

Do you know where I can stay for a

few weeks?

AUGGY

You know what I’d do?

MITCH

What?

AUGGY

Run to Puerto Rico and hide.

The gangs don’t like to go there.

OMAR

He’s right. If you go to Puerto Rico

they won’t find you.

MITCH

I know an artist that was selling

weed in the city for $2,000 an ounce.
He was making so much cash
that he couldn’t put it into a bank.
So, he bought six acres in Puerto Rico.
Over the years he transported backpacks
of cash to his concrete bunker in
the hills overlooking a US Navy
gunnery range.

47
 OMAR

Go to the DEA and tell your

story and see if they’ll help.

MITCH

Like a snitch?

AUGGY

You may have to shop your story around.

MITCH

If the DEA doesn’t like your story,

then take it to the District Attorneys
Office, or the FBI, DIA, CIA, or
the Homeland Security guys.
Then take the best deal.

OMAR

I’ve heard that you get relocated

and set up. Even paid cash.
You just can’t talk to anyone
in your family, ever.

MITCH

That won’t work with my wife. She’s a

blabbermouth.

AUGGY

If you can’t trust her, why did you

marry her?

MITCH

I didn’t know.

SALLY

You need some family therapy.

48
 MITCH

We tried that. I couldn’t get a word

in edge wise. All she talked about
was her problem with her father.
And how controlling I am.

SALLY

She was just, you know venting.

OMAR

Yeah, I went to therapy, after my first

divorce.

SALLY

There see, I’m sure you have changed.

AUGGY

How many times have you been married?

OMAR

4 times.

SALLY

I think I spoke too soon.

OMAR

I learned they all had things in common.

SALLY

Go on, what?

OMAR

They all had the same name. Rita.

I have a thing about the name Rita.
The Rita’s looked alike and after a
while they all sounded like my mother.

49
 MITCH

They’re all named Rita?

OMAR opens his wallet and shows the photos of his

Rita’s and children.

OMAR

Here look for yourself.

SALLY

This is news to me. Let me see the photos.

OMAR

Their mostly my kids.

SALLY

Are these photos in order?

OMAR

Yeah, I do that so I can keep track.

MITCH
You must have to pay a bundle in support.

OMAR
That’s mostly over now. I maybe the
only man who didn’t learn anything
from getting divorced.

SALLY
(looking at photos)

I can’t tell them apart.

OMAR

On my 45th birthday, all the Rita’s

got together and took me to court.

50
 MITCH

Oh man! That’s the worst.

OMAR

Well, the judge gave them my

business to divide between them.
So, I had to sell out to my partner.

SALLY

What kind of business was it?

OMAR

A concrete construction company.

MITCH

What a kick in the nads.

OMAR

They’ve gone through all the money,

in the last few years.

SALLY

So, that’s why you’re working here.

OMAR

Low overhead. I find it’s best

to fly below the radar when it
comes to ex wives.

SALLY

See you have learned something

from these women.

OMAR
Self preservation comes to the rescue.

TWO-STEP

51
I hear you.

MITCH

That’s why I don’t want to get divorced.

AUGGY

I haven’t found the right woman.

SALLY

She will need to be a special lady.

TWO-STEP

I’ve got just the right woman for you.

AUGGY

No way.

TWO-STEP

You haven’t even seen her.

How can you say that?

AUGGY

Well. I want her to find me.

Besides I learned early on that
women are like ducks.
When they hang out together they
look alike. No offence.

TWO-STEP

So, put a want ad in the personal ads.

OMAR

A wannabe-armed robber looking for

a 25 year old, tall, beautiful, woman
with steady job.

52
 SALLY

That’s not nice. Kindness matters.

MITCH

Let me take a shot at it. 35-year-old

professional bachelor, looking for
romance with a woman of means.

AUGGY

I like that one. Women like romance.

SALLY

That’s misrepresenting yourself.

AUGGY

Everybody does it, in the beginning,

at least for the first six months or so.

OMAR

I hear that. Rita #1 was a compulsive

gambler. I didn’t know until we went
to Vegas.

SALLY

Wow. So was my ex. He’s a very smart

guy. Just ask him, he’ll tell you all
about his Law Degree from NYU.
He fizzled out after he got the diploma.

OMAR

We went on our honeymoon in Vegas.

She never left the casino.

MITCH

How much did she loose?

OMAR

53
$19,000.

SALLY

Cole lost a bowling alley in a card

game in Atlantic City.

AUGGY

How can you loose a bowling alley?

SALLY

Very easily I suppose. I wasn’t there

at the time, but his two brothers
were ready to kill him.
So, they burned down their restaurant
for the insurance.

MITCH

I like the dog tracks in Florida.

OMAR

That’s fast action man.

MITCH

I always come away with something.

SALLY

This Lotto is the same thing.

AUGGY

What would you do if you won the Mega pot?

SALLY

I’d buy myself a new house in

Sarasota, Florida.

OMAR

54
I can’t afford to win.

MITCH

Oh yeah, the Rita’s.

SALLY

I would walk on the beach everyday

at sunset.

MITCH

What about your family?

SALLY

I’d take my kid and leave the

rest behind.

MITCH
That’s cold.

SALLY
I just feel better when their not around.

MITCH
I know, nobody cares.

SALLY
I know your right. I should care more
about them. But the make it hard
to love them.

MITCH

I know what you mean.

My cousin Greco went out bar crawling
last Friday. On the way home he
stopped to take a rest on a bus bench.
It was below freezing and he
passed out. Saturday morning the
cops tried to waken him, but he was
frozen to the bone.

55
 SALLY

I remember that. Was he Puerto Rican

guy the newspapers called “The Stiff”?

MITCH

Yeah. At the wake he looked like

his father.

OMAR

Jesus, just like a frozen Margarita.

MITCH

You think Puerto Ricans are low lives?

OMAR

You said it not me. I prefer bottom

feeders.

MITCH

That’s discrimination.

OMAR

I love Puerto Rican women. What do

you think all the Rita’s are?

MITCH

There’s nothing like watching a

Port Rican woman eat a mango.

SALLY

You don’t have to explain.

OMAR

56
The men are another thing altogether.
They’re all fucking drug dealers
or addicts.

SALLY

It’s easy to find fault with them.

MITCH

When I was a kid I wanted to become

a doctor. My mom had high hopes.

AUGGY

You have to go to school to be a doctor.

MITCH

I like school, but I didn’t want to

take tests.

AUGGY

Bull shit, you were always in trouble.

MITCH

Yeah, but you were the one that

flooded the school and I got blamed.

AUGGY

That wasn’t my fault. I was just trying

to get a drink of water at the fountain.
The water was off, so I turned
it on under the fountain and got
a drink. The class bell rang so
I went to my seat. I didn’t know
it had a leek.

MITCH

57
 An hour later the water was 2 inches
deep down the hallway into the
Dean’s office. Mr. Shavonie thought
it was me, so I was expelled from
his class.

AUGGY

You’re forgetting the time when you

almost electrocuted me?

(Talking to the group.)

We had to remove my power line

to get at a broken tree limb down.

(Talking to the group.)

MITCH

I was standing on the ladder cutting

The tree. He was holding the rest of it.

AUGGY

I thought you had it.

MITCH

He walks off, and the limb falls

against the fuse box on the wall.
One of my nads was fried.
It swelled up to a baseball.

AUGGY

Sorry man. I needed to use the head.

MITCH

That’s why I don’t hang around with

him anymore.

SALLY asks TWO-STEP.

58
 SALLY

What are you doing for Christmas?

TWO-STEP

We celebrate Hanukah. I haven’t

been invited home in years.
They think I’m a hooker.

SALLY to the others.

SALLY
What about the rest of you guys?

AUGGY

I don’t make long-range plans.

MITCH

If I live that long, we’ll go to

my sisters house in the Batavia.

SALLY

That’s nice.

MITCH

It’s the tomb of the unknown repairman.

SALLY

What do you mean?

MITCH

Everything is perfect.

SALLY

What’s wrong with that?

MITCH

59
Everywhere I sit, I’m afraid I’m
going to drop your food and make a mess.

SALLY

If I had a nice house, I’d do the same.

MITCH

The other thing is that her husband

is a “Honey Do Boy”.

SALLY

Guys are supposed to help.

MITCH

He calls her Honey. Honey can I do that?

You know.

OMAR

Rita #3 didn’t ask me to do a thing

around the house. But, she would call
me in the middle of a business meeting
and ask me where the frozen pizza
rolls where.
Before I married the Rita’s, I was always
forgetting my girl friends name.

SALLY

So, how do you keep track of the kids?

OMAR

Omar is my son with Rita #1.

Babe and Little Rita are the twins
from Rita #2. Omar Jr., Beth and
Billy are with Rita #3.
Sam and June are with Rita #4.
Omar, Babe, Rita, Omar Jr. and June
are my children. The rest are split
between Jeff, Larry, Ramon,

60
 Billy Sr. and Vern.

SALLY

There are too many men for the number

of kids.

OMAR

Ramon can’t have kids. Rita #1 has

been married twice after me.

MITCH

What happened to Ramon?

OMAR

He was in a motorcycle crash and

smashed his manhood against the
gas tank.

MITCH

Ouch! Common mistake.

OMAR

Ramon’s a Moma Mucher. He hangs out

at home and watched South Park all day.
He gets 20% disability from the head
injury he got in the Navy. He’s a real
sweetheart.

The phone rings. SALLY answers.

SALLY

Yes, he’s standing right here,

hang on, MITCH it’s for you.

MITCH answers the phone.

MITCH

Hello.

61
SALLY picks up the newspaper and starts reading.

SALLY

The new Mayor, he’s a Capricorn.

TWO-STEP

My last boy friend was a Capricorn.

SALLY

Where is he now?

TWO-STEP

He was too much of a cheapskate.

He didn’t like to buy me things
because he said that I was too hard
on stuff or I would loose it.
I guess he was right in some ways,
but not always.
In the end, he lifted all my mothers
silverware.

SALLY

Those Capricorns are a lot of trouble.

They always think they’re smarter
than the next guy. Meanwhile,
they’re doing stupid things.
I’ve never met a good one.

OMAR

What’s the problem, MITCH?

MITCH

They’re coming here to get me.

I need to hide.

OMAR

62
 Sit down behind the counter and don’t
get up till I tell you to.

MITCH walks around and sits under the counter.

MITCH

You don’t think they’ll look for me here?

OMAR

What kind of idiot would stay here?

SALLY

What’s you’re birthday?

MITCH

May 1st, 1975.

SALLY

You’re on the cusp of Capricorn,

aren’t you MITCH?

TWO-STEP

I’m an Aquarius.

SALLY

You are kind of spaced out most

of the time.

TWO-STEP

I guess that’s true.

OMAR

What am I?

SALLY

63
Scorpio.

OMAR

Rita #2 said I was too negative.

SALLY

She is right. Every Scorpio I know

likes to pick a fight.
You can’t help yourself.

OMAR

I just need lively conversation.

What’s the best match for me?

SALLY

If you want to fight, then find

another Scorpio or a Capricorn.

AUGGY

I’m an Aries. What about me?

SALLY

You’re hardheaded and very aggressive.

OMAR

That’s a bunch of crap. Ask anybody.

SALLY

See, you’re picking a fight.

OMAR

What about you?

SALLY

64
 I’m a Leo. You can tell a Leo by
the big hair, clothes, cars and diamonds.

MITCH pops his head up from behind the cash register.

MITCH

My Mom was Haitian and into all

this black magic Santeria.
We had chicken feet hanging all
over the house. People would come
to her with request for spiritual
protection. One time a woman that
had recently moved from Haiti need
protection from a man that was
stalking her. Mom got out all her
candles and made a small man out
of chicken feathers and cloth.
The woman came to our apartment,
my Mom chanted and sang.
They put a spell on him.
I asked what kind of spell it was.
She told me the man would loose
all his hair and power.
He would become impotent.
I think she was a Leo.

OMAR

I told you to keep down. That stuff

is creepy. But I know it works.
Rita #1 was into witchcraft.
I came home from work and she was
covered in black makeup,
the windows were covered,
and there was a strange smell.

SALLY

That’s the work of the Devil.

65
MITCH creeps up again from behind the counter.

MITCH

That’s one thing I believe in.

I’ve seen the evil spirits.
I was in San Juan visiting my
best friend Roberto. We were smoking
weed in the back of his bakery.
From behind him appeared a spirit
woman with a baby. She was thin
and wasted. She asked for bread.
I said yes. The next day the same
woman came to the store caring a
baby and begged for a loaf of bread.
Roberto gave her what she needed.
He believed that he would have been
tormented forever if he had refused her.

SALLY

She must have been an Angel.

She was there to teach him about
compassion.

OMAR turns to MITCH.

OMAR

Down! She was a Spirit Witch.

There’s a She Devil Pakistani
that works the corner during the day.
She shows up about 8:30 every
morning for rush hour.
When I’m leaving the store I see
her pushing a stroller.
It’s where she keeps her stash.
All the stuff she shoplifts goes
under a life size baby doll
in the stroller.

AUGGY

66
 Very clever those Pakistani Devils.

SALLY

What if there are devils waiting for

you when you die?

AUGGY

I hope they’re sex crazed little

nymphets.

MITCH

All those Playboy Bunnies and Hustler

center folds. That’s where they go,
straight to hell.

SALLY

You may have noticed that those

rags are not out in this store.
I’ve put them under the counter
so the kids can’t steal them.

AUGGY walks to the store window and peers out to the

street.

AUGGY

I think your friends are here MITCH.

OMAR walks over to the light switch and turns off the
lights.

OMAR

Everybody hit the floor and don’t

move an inch.

67
Gunshots are fired into the store. The window breaks
and SALLY cries out.

SALLY

Yahweh help us.

The lights are out. Broken glass and bags of snacks

are on the floor.

OMAR

Is anybody hit?

SALLY

I’m here, I think.

AUGGY

I can’t move.

OMAR

The window’s got a few holes in it.

MITCH?

MITCH

I’m here.

OMAR

TWO-STEP? Are you OK?

AUGGY take a peek and see if they’re
gone.
Sally is she next to you?

SALLY

No.

68
AUGGY crawls to the front window and looks out from
between the signs taped to it.

AUGGY

I think they’re gone. I can’t see

anybody.

OMAR

I’m going to turn on the lights.

But don’t get up until I say so.

OMAR crawls to the light switch and turns the lights

on.

OMAR

Can you see anybody now?

AUGGY

It’s all clear.

SALLY

Where’s TWO-STEP?

She must have stepped out the back door during the
shooting.

MITCH

I think she’s been hit. Look there’s

a blood trail out the back.

SALLY

We need to call the Police.

OMAR

I don’t know if I want to file a

Police report. I’m going to call Poppy.

69
OMAR walks to the telephone and calls Poppy.

OMAR

Sorry, to call you so late but we’ve

had another shooting in the store.
What do you want me to do?

Poppy gives him instructions.

OMAR

Nobody in the store is hurt. Just a

few bullet holes in the window.

OMAR listens to Poppy.

OMAR

Ok. I’ll call you in the morning.

OMAR hangs up the phone.

SALLY

What did he say?

OMAR

Well, he doesn’t want me to call

this in to the police.

SALLY

But, TWO-STEP has been shot.

OMAR

We don’t know that for sure.

MITCH

I see blood drops all the way back here.

70
 SALLY

What if she dies? What then?

AUGGY walks to the door.

AUGGY

I don’t want to talk to the cops.

I have some outstanding business
with them.
If they check me out, which they
surely will, I’ll be in deep shit.
I’m out of here.

AUGGY opens the door and looks around before walking

out to the street.

OMAR

What a piss ant punk.

OMAR walks to the back room and retrieves a broom and

starts sweeping up the mess.

SALLY

What’s wrong with you people?

OMAR

Look, Poppy doesn’t want to loose

his state alcohol license. If you
have more than four shootings in a
two-year period, your license goes
up for review. And, they suspend it
during the review period, which
could take six months.
It also means you can loose your
insurance. At least, you get put
in a high-risk pool and pay
through the b-hole.

SALLY

What about TWO-STEP?

71
 OMAR

That’s the hazards.

Don’t stand in front of a stray
bullet. I told everyone to hit
the floor, she should have.

SALLY

She couldn’t bend her legs, to get down.

OMAR

You can’t save every low life that

walks in the door.

SALLY goes to the coat rack on the back wall and walks
to the front door.

SALLY

If you’re not going to do anything,

then I am.

OMAR

Where do you think you’re going?

SALLY

Out there to find her. She could be

out there bleeding to death.

SALLY leaves the store disgusted with OMAR.

MITCH

What if she finds her dead?

OMAR

Let’s not get ourselves all

worked up over that retard.

72
 MITCH

I don’t think my services are needed.

I’ll be moving along.

OMAR

Oh no. You started this shit storm,

so you’ll stay until it’s finished.

MITCH

How can you blame me?

OMAR

It was your playmates that came to

by to visit you here. You’re staying
until I say you can leave or I’ll let
Black Beauty persuade you.

MITCH

I’m still here. What if she’s dead?

OMAR

You’re going to explain everything

to the police.

MITCH

No man. That’s not cool.

OMAR

Why did you have to say anything

about the blood spots?

MITCH

Well…

OMAR

Don’t answer that.

73
 MITCH

She’ll go to the emergency room and

they’ll patch her up.

OMAR

Or, she’ll bleed to death or freeze.

All we can do is wait here if she
comes back.

MITCH

I’m sorry. You could have pushed me

out the door. You saved me; they would
have found me and popped a cap in my
head for sure.

OMAR

What makes you think that they

aren’t coming back?

MITCH

Turn out the lights.

OMAR

If they come back I’m going to make

a deal. Your head for a new glass window.

MITCH

You wouldn’t do that.

OMAR

Go over to the window and watch out

for them.

MITCH

I feel like a moving target at the

state fair.

74
 OMAR

Stop whining. This is like

being back in the Nam.

OMAR continues sweeping the store.

MITCH

Here comes SALLY.

OMAR

Is she alone?

MITCH

Yes.

SALLY opens the door and enters the store.

MITCH

What happened? Did you find her?

SALLY

Yeah. She’s in the Operating Room

at Buffalo General. They’ll file a
police report.

MITCH

Man what a mess.

OMAR

Feeling a little guilt?

MITCH

Of course I do.

SALLY

The nurse I talked to said she wasn’t

expected to survive the surgery.

75
 OMAR

What happened?

SALLY

A bullet went through her chest.

We need to call the police.

OMAR

OK. I’ll call them.

OMAR puts down his broom and walks to the wall phone.

OMAR

MITCH this is your fault. I’m going to

have to banish you from the store.

MITCH

Can I go now?

OMAR

Stick around, you’re going to have

to explain everything to the police
when they get here.

SALLY

Poor woman just couldn’t get out

of the way.

OMAR is talking to the police.

OMAR

I need to report a shooting at

Poppy’s Corner Convenience Store.

76
 MITCH

I’m screwed.

SALLY

Police Protection Program maybe?

OMAR hangs up the phone and turns to the counter.

OMAR

They’re on the way. A homicide detective

will be here soon. They asked that
we shut the store and don’t
touch anything.

SALLY

We should have called the police when it happened.

OMAR

Does anyone know where AUGGY can be found?

MITCH

Yeah. I know.

OMAR

He’s not going to be happy about

the attempted armed robbery charge
we’re going to file.

SALLY

I’m more concerned about TWO-STEP.

OMAR

What’s her real name?

MITCH

I don’t know.

77
 SALLY

I asked the nurse in the emergency

room. It’s Mora Edelstein.

MITCH

She’s sure had a streak of bad luck.

SALLY

If she makes it through the surgery

we’ll have to help her.

OMAR

The state helps her now. I need to

call Poppy.

OMAR returns to the wall phone.

MITCH

I didn’t want this to happen.

God help me.

SALLY

I’ve been praying pretty much since

the bullets started to fly.

MITCH

It didn’t help TWO-STEP, sorry I

meant Mora.

SALLY

There’s always a plan to life.

When it’s over that’s it.

OMAR hangs up the phone and turns to the others.

78
 OMAR

Poppy isn’t too pissed. It’s happened

so many times in the past. He said,
it was just a matter of time, when
it would happen agian. He’s cool about it.
But, he’s very sad about TWO-STEP.
I meant Mora. I told him she is
a Jewish woman.

MITCH

Isn’t there a Jewish heaven?

OMAR

There’s got to be, if we’ve got one.

The Jehovah Witness people say
there’s only room for 144,000 people.

MITCH

They should know, they are the only

one’s going door to door counting
the saved souls.

SALLY

That’s not what they’re doing.

They’re just trying to convert
people to their religion.

OMAR

I agree with MITCH on this one SALLY.

They’re out there counting saved souls.

SALLY

I’m not listening.

MITCH

What are we going to say to the Police

about when things happened tonight?

79
 OMAR

We can’t fudge that, because they’ll

know what time TWO-STEP, I mean Mora
checked into the hospital.
Plus, there’s a time code on the VHS
tape. When can I call her
TWO-STEP again?

SALLY

Never. It’s demeaning.

OMAR

I know, but she never complained.

SALLY

She has low self-esteem.

MITCH

What does that mean?

SALLY

You wouldn’t know, because you

don’t have any ether.

OMAR

Let’s not fight. We need to all

have the same story for the police.
So let’s get it together.
What’s your story to the police?

SALLY

OK, we were standing in the store

trying to get AUGGY to give up the
gun when bullets started flying.

OMAR

80
No. That sounds like AUGGY shot TWO-STEP.
Besides there’s the surveillance
videotapes.

SALLY

No more TWO-STEP.

OMAR

But, she was TWO-STEP when it happened.

MITCH

It’s my turn. Try this. We were drinking

a beer when a gang of drug dealers
came by and shot up the place.

OMAR

You can’t say anything about the

beer because Poppy will get in
trouble with the State Alcohol Control.
Jesus, can’t you people think.

SALLY

Did you ever consider that this place

could be a danger to the community?

OMAR

We just give people what they want,

the rest is up to them.

MITCH

OK, so I won’t tell about the beer.

How’s the rest of it?

OMAR

It doesn’t matter, your going to

screw it up anyway.

81
The stage goes to black out for a wardrobe and set
changes.

It is Christmas Eve. SALLY is at the cash register.

OMAR walks in carrying a broom and dust pan.

OMAR

Well here we are on Christmas Eve

and we’re all alone. Why don’t you
call it quits and go home to your kid?

SALLY

I need the money, with Christmas

gifts and all.

OMAR

I’ll cover for you. Go ahead.

SALLY

Ok. But, I owe you.

MITCH walks in the front door.

MITCH

Merry Christmas to all.

OMAR

What are you doing out?

MITCH

They ran me out of the house.

All the relatives are in from out
of town. What a pain in the ass.
I was just smoking and eating cookies.
They said I was too noisy and the
place was filling up with smoke,
they took a vote and asked me to leave.

OMAR

82
 It’s only for a few days.

MITCH

I was getting wacky anyways.

MITCH walks around the store looking for a snack.

SALLY

When is your probation up?

MITCH

I’m doing well, no drugs. The NA group

is a trip. You wouldn’t believe the
stories. And, guess who is going there?

SALLY

Everyone in the neighborhood?

MITCH

I can’t use his name.

OMAR

Anonymous right?

MITCH

I’ll give you a hint. He was in the

store the night of the shooting.

OMAR

AUGGY is in NA? I heard he was

taking anti-theft and domestic violence
classes.

SALLY

What’s your story for the NA group?

83
 MITCH

This is the way I tell it in the

group. It was a cold winter night
and a Puerto Rican drug gang was
after me. I took shelter in
Poppy’s Corner Store. They came to
the store for me and shot bullets
thru the store, hitting TWO-STEP
in the chest. It traveled straight
thru her lung. Blood squirted.
I had a moment of clarity.
And, I knew I had to stop. I had to
do something different. The police
arrested me. When I stood in front
of the judge, I said that I was sorry
that I had caused so much pain to
my family and to TWO-STEP.
He asked me who TWO-STEP was,
so I explained that she had a
stroke from rock. Now she can only
take two steps at a time. He said
it’s a miracle that she’s still alive.

SALLY

I won.

OMAR

The Lotto?

SALLY

No. The bet. Remember that night

of the shooting, I bet you that Yahweh
would show you a miracle.

OMAR

The devil was on the loose that night.

SALLY

You have to give me three nights off.

You promised.

84
 OMAR

You’re dreaming.

MITCH

Some higher power was in this store.

I could feel it. Somehow I have to
make amends. That’s one of the
recovery steps.

The front door opens. TWO-STEP slowly enters the store.

SALLY

How are you?

TWO-STEP

I’m fine. It only hurts when I breathe.

OMAR

We’re worried about you.

TWO-STEP

The tube in my lung will come out

next week. Here look at how big it is.

TWO-STEP lifts up her blouse revealing her drainage

tube.
MITCH

Wow, that must hurt.

OMAR

Horrible. What’s that green stuff?

SALLY

85
 It’s drainage, her lung is draining.
I know about these things I worked
as a nurses aide.

TWO-STEP covers herself.

TWO-STEP

Got a pack of Kent Ultra lights?

SALLY

You shouldn’t be smoking. You’ve only

got one lung.

TWO-STEP

I shouldn’t be alive either.

OMAR

You didn’t duck when I told you to.

TWO-STEP

I can’t bend this leg. So, I couldn’t.

SALLY

It’s over and done with now.

So let it go.

TWO-STEP

Poppy said I could get free cigarettes

for a year because of what happened.

SALLY

Oh great.
OMAR

2 packs a day for 365 days. That’s over

$3,650 bucks.

MITCH

86
 Free cigarettes. That’s value plus, man.

SALLY

Well as long as we can keep our

priorities straight.

OMAR

Take the next three days off.

Yahweh or one of his friends was here
the night of the shooting.
Get out of here before I change my mind.

TWO-STEP

Sally would you please look at my

dressing before you go?

SALLY comes to TWO-STEP lifts her blouse and looks at

the dressing.

SALLY

Looks OK to me.

SALLY walks to the coat rack. She puts on her hat

scarf and coat.

SALLY

You guys are too much for me.

I’m taking a pack of these
Grandma’s Soft Cookies. Bill me.
I’m leaving. Merry Christmas.

TWO-STEP

Merry Christmas.

MITCH

Cheers.

OMAR

87
 Don’t leave without a hug. You never
know when one of us could be taken
to the Holy Land. Or die in our sleep.

MITCH

What if you were having a dream that

you were dying but couldn’t wake up?

TWO-STEP

That’s when you need to take Jesus

into your heart real quick,
just in case it’s the end.

OMAR walks toward the audience onto a spotlight.

The main store lights go out. The Holiday lights stay lit.

OMAR

I think SALLY was right about some

things, at least the part about
it being a miracle that TWO-STEP
survived a stray bullet.
Mitch, well he has a tendency for
creating misfortune for everyone
around him.
Maybe a job in health insurance
industry would do the trick.
AUGGY packs more mischief,
pound for pound. It’s not only
because he’s bipolar, although
I’m sure that adds to it.
TWO-STEP has become what everyone
in the 60’s was afraid would happen
to them if they didn’t stop
smoking pot and taking LSD.
SALLY is right about me, I’m a Scorpio
and it’s hell when I can’t find
someone to fight with.
Fortunately, this time of the year
there are lots of opportunities
with my family. It isn’t that
I don’t like my family or people
in general, it’s that I don’t always
agree with them.

88
 But, every once in a while someone
like SALLY will surprise me.
I don’t agree with most of her
religious dogma, but she has a gift,
an unexpected kindness that causes
a lot of strange feelings in me.
And I think it’s only natural to have
more than one miracle at Christmas.

FADE TO BLACK

89