1

2004 Michael L. Emery. All Rights Reserved. This book can not be copied, reproduced, distributed, nor used to create
derivative works, in whole or in part, without the expressed written permission of the author and copyright holder. You
understand that the information contained in this book is an opinion only, and is not in any way legal advice, nor medical
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WHOM YOU OBTAINED THIS E-BOOK THROUGH. Okay, now lets go have some fun!
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2


Ded|cof|on

Ihi: Lcck i: ceciccIec Ic every :ing|e per:cn l hcve ever meI in my |ife.
We mighI hcve cn|y kncwn ecch cIher fcr IhirIy :eccnc:, cr IhirIy yecr:, iI
mcke: nc cifference. /|| cf ycu, in cne fcrm cr cncIher, Le iI gccc cr Lcc,
were c pcrI cf my |ecrning prcce:: cnc my grcwIh, cnc in :cme wcy
he|pec Ic :hcpe Ihe per:cn IhcI l cm, cnc whcI i: ncw Ihi: Lcck. /nc
whi|e l Iru|y Le|ieve IhcI c per:cn i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: cr her cwn fcIe, cnc
:hcu|c Icke fu|| creciI fcr Ihe ccu|I Ihey Leccme, l c|:c Le|ieve IhcI even
c :e||-ncce ncn ncc tc get tne pc|t: ||cn :cnecne.
Sc c re:pecIfu| Lcw Ic ycu c||, even if ycu were ju:I c ruLLer Lcnc" in my
Lui|cing prcce::, c mcjcr pcwer :curce, cr ccg crcp cn my :hce.
































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3


Acknow|edgemenfs


Fir:I, cnc mc:I cf c||, l wcnI Ic Ihcnk ecch cnc c|| cf my Ieccher:, menIcr:,
cnc inf|uence:. l hcve ncI meI Ihem c|| per:cnc||y, LuI Iheir pre:ence cnc
ccnIriLuIicn in Iheir re:pecIive fie|c: hcve hcc cn impccI cn me. Ihey
inc|uce, LuI cre ncI |imiIec Ic: Fichcrc 8cnc|er, Sir Fichcrc 8rcn:cn, Hcrry
8eckwiIh, 8cL G. 8ccenhcmer, Fichcrc 8rccie, FcLerI 8. Chic|cini, Nccm
Chcm:ky, Dcvic Crcmer, Mcrk Cunninghcm, Mi|Icn H. Erick:cn, Fhi|ip H.
FcrLer, Hcrri:cn Fcrc, Nei| Gcimcn, Jcnecne Gcrcfc|c, Jchn Grincer, L.
Michce| Hc||, Fhi| Hine, Jecn Ki|Lcurne, SIcn Lee, Frcnk Mi||er, Chri:Icpher
Feeve, /nIhcny FcLLin:, Fcu| Fc::, Kevin SmiIh, Mike Ii:cc|e, SIucrI Wi|ce,
cnc FcLin Wi||icm:. Much cf whcI l hcve un|ec:hec wiIhin my:e|f i: c
re:u|I cf my expc:ure Ic Iheir pcrIicu|cr crec cf :ki||:, :c l cckncw|ecge
Iheir ccnIriLuIicn Ic me, cnc Ic Ihe wcr|c crcunc Ihem.

l c|:c wcnI Ic cckncw|ecge in /LFH/LeIicc| crcer: Decnnc /||en, /|ex
8ecumcnI, Greg 8irc:e||, Gerc|c CrcLIree, Fri:ci||c Ecwcrc:, Mer|ine
Fcrre:Ier, Icmmy Nce| Greene, JcccL Lecncrc, /|y::c McIhew:, Dcnie||e
NcrIh, FcIrycjc, Fcche| Hcrri:, Lcnce Fcu|, Shcrcn FeIer:cn, Fhi|ip Fciner,
Gcry Fcycer, /|excncric Feync|c:, cnc Cry:Ic| WhiIe. Ycu hcve c|| Leen
fcnIc:Iic per:cnc| enccunIer: in my rec|iIy, cnc l Ihcnk ycu fcr Leing whc
ycu cre.

Finc||y, wiIh cn cpprecicIive Lcw, l wcnI Ic Ihcnk YCU, Ihe reccer. My
|ife: gcc| i: Ic Icuch Ihe |ive: cf pecp|e l mcy never even meeI fcce-Ic-
fcce. 8y ycu reccing Ihi: Lcck, cnc |eIIing me he|p ycu, ycu cre he|ping
ME in ccccmp|i:hing IhcI gcc|.















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4


IA8LE OF CONIENIS

DeciccIicn............................................................................2
/ckncw|ecgemenI:............................................................3
A|| Ih|ngs Hove o 8eg|nn|ng...............................................5
Ihe Cordboord 8ox..............................................................7
Ihe ALFHA K|ngdom............................................................
Ihe A|pho You Moy NOI Wont to 8e........................... ....12
8ui|cing cn /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy, FcrI Cne..........................28
Ihe Chopter Ihot W||| Chonge Your
8e||e|s obout 8e||e|s.............................................................32
8e|ng Yourse|| Moy Not 8e Iru|y You................................48
8ui|cing cn /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy, FcrI Iwc...........................55
"Accomp||sh|ng or Accommodot|ng?"...........................58
Ihe F|cnning Ycur F|cn: F|cn" Exerci:e.........................8
A|pho Longuoge..................................................................72
Ihe A|pho Emot|ons.............................................................75
8ui|cing cn /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy, FcrI Ihree.........................83
keo||ty Is In Ihe M|nd...........................................................84
Ihe Se|ecIive Fec|iIy" Exerci:e.........................................8
Ihe A|pho M|nd Vo|ce.........................................................88
Ihe "Lone Wo||" keo||ty........................................................1
8ui|cing cn /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy, FcrI Fcur............................3
Leoder or 8u||y?.....................................................................
keject|on Does Not Ex|st......................................................104
Ihe 5 CenI Gcme.................................................................10
8e|ng Funny, A|pho Sty|e.....................................................107
Ihe Mog|c o| Mus|c...............................................................113
Ihe A|pho 8ehov|or Loop.....................................................124
Mok|ng A|pho Dec|s|ons......................................................134
Ihe Mosks We Weor ond
Ihe ko|es We F|oy..................................................................142
8ui|cing cn /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy, FcrI Five.............................143
Homer's Ch|mero...................................................................14
8ui|cing cn /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy, FcrI Six................................148
Mentors ond Med|tot|ons....................................................151
Ihe Story o| Lee......................................................................155
Ihe Fhoen|x bn|eoshed.........................................................200
Ihoughts |n C|os|ng................................................................204
kecommended keod|ng......................................................205



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5



A|| Ih|ngs Hove o 8eg|nn|ng




CcngrcIu|cIicn: cn Leginning Ihe jcurneyl
WiIhin Ihi: Lcck l wi|| Le :hcring c vc:I wec|Ih cf kncw|ecge. Ihing: IhcI l
hcve |ecrnec, experiencec, cnc crecIec, cver Ihe ccur:e cf my |ifeIime
:c fcrl Much cf Ihi: Lcck wi|| Le :ericu:, Leccu:e iI neec: Ic Le in crcer Ic
wcrk. 8uI l hcve c|:c injecIec c |cI cf my humcr, :crcc:m, crrcgcnce, cnc
mcny inIere:Iing fccI:, :c IhcI ycu enjcy Ihe experience cnc :Icy mcre
ceciccIec Ic mcking iI rec||y wcrk fcr ycu. Sc if ycu gucrcnIee Ic me, cnc
mc:I impcrIcnI|y Ic ycu|:e||, IhcI ycu wi|| recc cnc cpp|y whcI l c:k ycu
Ic, Ihen l wi|| gucrcnIee IhcI nc mcIIer whc ycu u:ec Ic Le, ycur /|phc
w||| Le /W/KENEDl
Chcnge ccn hcppen in:IcnI|y, LuI hcLiI Icke: Iime cnc ccn:cicu: effcrI.
Sc nc mcIIer hcw uick|y ycu Legin Ic ncIice cnc fee| Ihe imprcvemenI:,
ycu wi|| cn|y geI Ihe |cng |c:Iing cnc uc|iIy hcLiI: Ihrcugh repecI
prccIice cnc :Icying fccu:ec cn Ihe imprcvemenI:.
Sc keep ccing iI unIi| iI wcrk:. /fIer c||, hcvenI ycu grcwn Iirec cf ncI
hcving Ihe |ife ycu ccmire cIher: hcving

lllCL/FlFlC/IlCNlll

In much o| th|s book you w||| come upon stotements ||ke "on A|pho
doesJdoes not..." or "on A|pho |sJ|s not..." ond |t m|ght oppeor os || I om
suggest|ng no other o|ternote behov|or ex|sts to be on A|pho. Ih|s |s not
the cose however. As you w||| d|scover |n the very ||rst chopter, I hove
d|scovered vor|ous vers|ons o| the A|pho. Ihey ore o|| vo||d A|phos, but
they ore NOI o|| suggested ones. So when I om stot|ng whot on A|pho
does ond |s, understond thot I om s|mp|y d|rect|ng you |n o spec|||c woy,
so thot you con owoken ond 8E the k|nd o| A|pho thot I hove |ound to be
the most success|u|, the most |u|||||ed, ond the most e||ect|ve.
Ihe ent|re po|nt o| th|s book |s to FIkSI br|ng out the more power|u| 8EIA
ospects thot you hove, empower them |n woys thot get you c|oser to the
outcomes you pre|er |n your |||e, ond os o resu|t, you owoken the ALFHA
thot hos o|woys been w|th|n youI In short, you'|| go |rom the 8eto you
o|reody ore, to the 8eto thot gets A|pho resu|ts, to the A|pho thot you were
meont to beI
I hove no contro| over wh|ch k|nd o| A|pho you become however, I on|y
hove contro| over the |n|ormot|on I prov|de to get you there. In the end,
you w||| become wh|chever k|nd o| A|pho you |ee| best serves you, ond |t
m|ght not be the k|nd I ogree w|th. So you must toke |u|| respons|b|||ty |or
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6


the A|pho you become.
Own your |denf|fy, ond you own your desf|ny/
A|so, be owore thot on ALFHA |s not just someth|ng o MAN con be, women
con be, ond ore, ALFHA os we||. So you w||| ||nd exomp|es |n th|s book
where the mo|e |s used |n the ALFHA ro|e, ond t|mes when the womon |s
used |n the ALFHA ro|e. Ihe exomp|es ore not gender spec|||c becouse
they on|y opp|y to the gender d|scussed, they ore done thot woy s|mp|y
becouse thot gender |s the best one to use bosed on the top|c.
Moke sense?

/: fcr c: hcw Ic Le:I u:e Ihi: Lcck, Ihere i: nc cne wcy IhcI wcrk: Le:I fcr
every :ing|e per:cn. Scme finc iI ec:ier Ic recc Ihe Lcck fir:I, Ihen gc Lcck
cnc cc Ihe exerci:e:. Scme finc iI ec:ier Ic recc Ihe chcpIer: Ihey fee|
Ihey neec Ihe mc:I imprcvemenI wiIh, Ihen recc Ihe cIher chcpIer: cfIer
IhcI. Scme finc iI ec:ier Ic recc c few chcpIer:, wciI c ccy cr Iwc, Ihen
recc c few mcre chcpIer:, cnc :c cn. Ihere i: c |crge vcrieIy cf wcy: Ic
u:e Ihi: Lcck. /|| IhcI mcIIer:, i: IhcI ycu recc Ihe enIire Lcck, cnc cc c||
cf Ihe exerci:e:. Hcw ycu cc iI, i: |efI up Ic ycur cwn imcgincIicn cnc
preference.

Icke in c ceep LrecIh righI ncw...gc checc.
Icke in IhcI |ccccccng...ceeeeeep.LrecIh.
IhcI wc: Ihe fir:I LrecIh cf |ife cf Ihe /|phc ycure cLcuI Ic Leccme.
Scvcr iI.
Ncw Iurn Ihe pcge, cnc prepcre Ic Le /W/KENEDl



















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7



Ihe Cordboord 8ox




Ihere wos o con|used person, who hod been wo|k|ng oround |or mony,
mony yeors. Ih|s con|used person corr|ed o heovy cordboord box, on
shou|ders thot |e|t t|red.

A stronger wo|ked by, ond the con|used person osked the stronger, "Do
you hove ony chonge?"

Ihe stronger sm||ed ond so|d, "Ihot depends on whot you wont chonged."

Ih|s con|used the o|reody con|used person, who wos obout to respond,
when the stronger then osked, "Why ore you corry|ng thot cordboord
box?"

Ihe con|used person thought obout th|s quest|on....then thought obout the
cordboord box...thot heovy cordboord box...ond d|d not know the onswer
to the quest|on.

Ihe stronger osked, "How |ong hove you been corry|ng thot cordboord
box?"

Ihe con|used person thought obout |t...then thought obout |t some more.
Ihen the con|used person rep||ed, "I don't know. I hove been corry|ng th|s
cordboord box |or os |ong os I con remember."

Ihe stronger then osked, "Whot's |n the cordboord box?"

Ihe con|used person thought obout |t...then thought obout |t some more.
Ihen the con|used person rep||ed, "I'm not sure. 8ut I know thot |t's
|mportont |or me to corry |t."

"Why?" Asked the stronger.

Ihe con|used person wos uncerto|n why, ond s|mp|y rep||ed, "It just |s."

Ihe stronger rubbed h|s ch|n o moment, then so|d, "You hove been
corry|ng th|s cordboord box |or os |ong os you con remember, ond |t's
|mportont |or you to corry |t. 8ut you don't know whot's |n |t, though you
know thot |t's |mportont |or you to corry |t?"

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8


"We||, yeoh." Ihe con|used person rep||ed.

"Whot wou|d hoppen || you opened the cordboord box ond |ooked |ns|de
|t?" Asked the stronger.

Ihe con|used person thought obout th|s quest|on...then thought obout |t
some more. Ihen rep||ed, "I don't know."

"Ihen go oheod ond |ook |ns|de." So|d the stronger.

"8ut...whot || I don't ||ke whot's |ns|de |t?" Asked the con|used person.
"Whot || I |ook |ns|de |t, ond ||nd out |t's someth|ng I'm go|ng to |ee| stup|d
|or hov|ng corr|ed on my shou|ders. Corr|ed on my shou|ders |or os |ong os
I con remember. Whot then?"

Ihe stronger sm||ed ond rep||ed, "We||, fhen you w||| know whot you hove
been corry|ng o|| these yeors, ond fhen you w||| know || you st||| wont to
corry |t or not. And fhen, e|ther woy, you'|| hove some chonge. "

Ihi: :Icry, i: ycu cnc me. l cm IhcI :Ircnger, cnc ycu cre IhcI ccnfu:ec
per:cn.

"HOW DAkE YOb CALL ME CONFbSEDI" IhcI: whcI ycure Ihinking righI
ncw, ccrrecI
We||, Ihe cppc:iIe cf cerIcinIy, i: ccnfu:icn. /nc if ycu hcc cerIcinIy, ycu
wcu|cnI Le reccing Ihi: Lcck. IhcI ju:I mcke: :en:e.
8uI ju:I |ike Ihi: :Ircnger in my :Icry, ycu cre |ccking Ic me fcr :cme
chcnge. /nc c|:c ju:I |ike Ihi: :Ircnger, l cm Ie||ing ycu IhcI whcI ycu finc
in:ice IhcI ccrcLccrc Lcx cc||ec YCUF LlFE, nc mcIIer whcI, i: gcing Ic
Lring ycu chcnge. Ycu ju:I hcve Ic hcve Ihe ccurcge Ic |cck in:ice.

Ihi: Lcck i: gcing Ic expc:e ycu Ic Ihing: ycu mighI ncI hcve ccn:icerec,
cnc iI: gcing Ic Le cifferenI Ihcn cny :e|f-he|p" cr mcIivcIicn" prccucI
cvci|cL|e righI ncw. IhcI mighI :cunc crrcgcnI cf me Ic :cy, LuI iI: :Ii||
Irue. 8y Ihe Iime ycu fini:h Ihi: Lcck, Ihere wi|| Le Ihing: IhcI ycu |cck cI
cifferenI|y, Ihcn cnyIhing e|:e ycu hcve ever recc, |i:Ien Ic, cr cIIencec.

/gcin, iI c|| ccme: ccwn Ic YCU hcving Ihe ccurcge Ic |cck in:ice.
Sc if ycu ccn cc IhcI, Ihen ycu w||| finc whcI ycu neec Ic cwcken whcI
hc: Leen :|eeping wiIhin ycu. Ycu w||| finc ycur /|phc.
Ycu w||| un|ec:h Ihe Fhcenix in:icel



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9



Ihe ALFHA K|ngdom



ln Ihe evenI IhcI ycu cre ncI very c|ecr cn Ihe Ierm: /|phc" cr 8eIc" c:
iI cpp|ie: Ic c |iving crecIure, l wcnI Ic cefine iI fcr ycu.
Ihe Ierm i: Icken frcm Ihe Greek /LFH/LeI, which hc: /|phc" c: Ihe fir:I
|eIIer, cnc 8eIc" c: Ihe :eccnc |eIIer. /nc Ihe Ierm /|phc" i: u:ec in
ce:criLing c |iving crecIure IhcI i: Ihe ccmincnI in c grcup, wiIh 8eIc"
Leing Ihe :uLmi::ive, cr |e::er c|c::" cf Ihe grcup. Simp|y :IcIec, Ihe
/|phc |ecc:, Ihe 8eIc i: |ec.
Lcck cI cny grcup cf pecp|e gcIherec IcgeIher, cnc cne cf Ihem i: gcing
Ic Le Ihe cne whc i: |eccing Ihe ccnver:cIicn, cirecIing whcI Ihe cIher: in
Ihe grcup wi|| cc, cnc where Ihey wi|| c|| gc nexI. Chcnce: cre, Ihe /|phc
i: Ihe cne whc cecicec Ihey wcu|c Le cI whichever |cccIicn ycu :cw
Ihem. Ihe 8eIc {cr 8eIi" if Ihere': mcre Ihcn cne) wi|| Le Ihe cne fccu:ec
cn Ihe /|phc, cnc wi|| Le Ihe cne Lehcving :uLmi::ive|y cr uieI|y.
8uI, un|ike Ihe cnimc| kingccm, we humcn: hcve /|phc femc|e:. /|:c
un|ike Ihe cnimc| kingccm, Ihe mc:I effecIive nuncn /|phc i: Ihe cne
ycu mcy ncI hcve gue::ec wc: cn /|phc. We hcve :uch c ncrrcw
cefiniIicn, fcr Ihe mc:I pcrI, cf whcI mcke: :cmecne cn /|phc" IhcI we
neg|ecI Ic give much fccu: cnc cIIenIicn Ic Ihe per:cn whc mcy rec||y
Le pu||ing Ihe :Iring:" cnc mcking Ihing: f|cw Ihe wcy tney wcnI Ihem
Ic. ln :hcrI, l pc:e Ic ycu Ihi: pc::iLi|iIy: Ihe 8efo con perform A|pho fh|ngs,
ond |n f|me 8FCOMF fhof A|pho o|reody w|fh|n fhem, |n o smoofh process
fhof becomes more ond more nofuro|.

Here: c hinI cf whcI l mecn.

Ihe 8eIc :cmeIime: gcin: LeIIer Ihing: Ihcn Ihe /|phc cce:. Ihi: i: Irue in
LcIh Ihe humcn wcr|c c: we|| c: Ihe cnimc| kingccm. Ihe /|phc, when in
c grcup cf cne cr mcre ccciIicnc| /|phi, wi|| Leccme ccmpeIiIive,
jcckeying Ic Leccme Ihe ccmincnI. Ihi: i: ncI Irue cf c|| /|phc:, LuI cf
mc:I. Mecnwhi|e, Ihe 8eIc, :ince he/:he i: ncI Ihe ccmincnI, geI: Ic
ming|e wiIh fe||cw 8eIi {c|te| c||. we c|e |||enc: w|tn tnc:e wnc c|e ||ke u:.
||gnt) c: we|| c: wiIh Ihe /|phc {c|te| c||. tne|e ccn ce cn|y cne A|pnc |n
c g|cup :c tney :cy. :c |cg|c c|ctcte: tne |e:t nu:t ce 8etc). Hcving Ihi:
|uxury c||cw: Ihe 8eIc Ic gcin :cmeIhing Ihe /|phc rcre|y geI:: Anonym|ty.
/nc hcving c |eve| cf cncnymiIy, in mcny cc:e:, ccn ccIuc||y mcke cne
nc|e pcwerfu| Ihcn Ihe /|phc cf Ihe grcup. lI ccn mcke cne mcre
pcwerfu|, Leccu:e iI free: Ihem up Ic mcneuver, cnc p|cI, cnc p|cn,
wiIhcuI Ihe /|phc {cr cIher pecp|e) wcIching Iheir every mcve.
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10



Fcr excmp|e, |cck cI :imicn:. {Mcnkey:, /pe:, Gcri||c:, eIc.) Ihe /|phc
mcy hcve Ihe ccmincnI pc:iIicn cmcng Ihe :imicn:, cnc geI: whcIever
he wcnI:, LuI Ihe 8eIc :imicn hc: cn inIere:Iing pcwer IhcI Ihe /|phc
cce: ncI. Ihe 8eIc i: Ihe cne whc i: :enI cuI Ly Ihe /|phc Ic |cccIe cnc
gcIher fccc. Whi|e frcm cne per:pecIive iI ccn Le :cic IhcI Ihe /|phc hc:
Ihe mc:I pcwer Leccu:e he geI: Ic recp Ihe fccc rewcrc: wiIhcuI ever
hcving Ic |ifI c finger Ic finc iI.
8uI my per:pecIive i: cifferenI.
My per:pecIive i: IhcI Ihe 8eIc ccIuc||y hc: Ihe mc:I pcwer, Leccu:e he
hc: Ihe kncw|ecge cf where Ihe |ife :u:Icining fccc i:, which mcke: him
viIc| Ic Ihe /|phc: :urvivc|. Ihe 8eIc: fccc kncw|ecge c|:c give: him cn
ecge when iI ccme: Ic :ex.

Ihink cLcuI IhcI fcr c mcmenIl

When Ihe /|phc :imicn i: cwcy, Ihe 8eIc ccn Lring Lcck :cme juicy
Lerrie: Ic Ihe /|phc: mcIe. Ihe /|phc ccnI cc IhcI Leccu:e he hc: nc
icec where Ic finc Ihe Lerrie:. Sc Ihe 8eIc :wing: in wiIh :cme Lerrie: fcI
wiIh juicy gcccne:: fcr Ihe /|phc mcIe, cnc Leccu:e he ccn prcvice
:cmeIhing Ic her IhcI Ihe /|phc ccn ncI, :he c||cw: him Ic hcve :ex wiIh
her. /nc Ihe funny Ihing i:, Ihe /|phc never even :u:pecI: iI. Ic him, Ihe
8eIc i: LenecIh him, c :uLcrcincIe, cnc wcu|c never {|n tne A|pnc': eye:)
Le cL|e Ic :ecuce hi: mcIe inIc :ex.

8uI Lefcre l ccnIinue cn, l neec Ic mcke :cmeIhing very c|ecr. /nc IhcI
i:, we cre NCI :imicn:l We cre NCI |icn:, wc|ve:, cr cny cIher cnimc| in
Ihe cnimc| kingccm. Ihey hcve Iheir /|phc, cnc we hcve cur /|phc. /nc
:c, we neec Ic :Icp |ccking cI cnimc| Lehcvicr c: Leing Ihe L|ueprinI fcr
hcw cn /|phc humcn i: :uppc:ec Ic mcve Ihrcugh Ihe wcr|c.

/n /|phc |icn IhcI i: new Ic c price ki||: Ihe ycung mc|e |icn: in Ihe price,
:c IhcI he i: Ihe cn|y cne Ic :precc Ihe :eec cmcng Ihe femc|e:. Ihi:
:Irike: me c: c preIIy in:ecure Ihing fcr cn /|phc Ic cc. l :cy IhcI, Leccu:e
:uch Lehcvicr mcke: iI :eem c: if Ihe /|phc i: in ccmpeIiIicn wiIh Ihe
cIher mc|e:. Ihe /|phc IhcI | emLrcce c: Le:I cce: ncI ccn:icer cIher
mc|e: hi: ccmpeIiIicn. Ihe cIher mc|e: mighI hcve wcy: Ic impre:: cnc
:ecuce c wcmcn :ucce::fu||y, LuI Ihe /|phc Mc|e IhcI l chcc:e Ic Le,
kncw: he hc: cLi|iIie: cnc ccpcLi|iIie: IhcI Ihe femc|e: cre ncI u:ec Ic
experiencing. Sc we cre nct |icn:l

Ihe femc|e gcri||c hc: cn inIere:Iing wcy Ic expre:: her |cve Ic c mc|e
gcri||c. / hcLiI IhcI ccnvey: c ccmp|eIe|y cifferenI impre::icn in Ihe
humcn kingccm. Ihe femc|e gcri||c wi|| pick cI Iiny Lug: {cc||ec niI:")
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11


frcm Ihe mc|e: fur. She i: |iIerc||y niIpicking. Ihi: ccnvey: Ic Ihe mc|e IhcI
:he i: in |cve wiIh him. Hcwever, niIpicking" fcr humcn:, i: c negcIive
Ihing. Ihe femc|e i: :Ii|| picking cI Iiny Ihing:, LuI in Ihe humcn ver:icn
Ihe:e niIpick:" cre cI Ihe mcn: chcrccIer, Lehcvicr:, cnc ccIicn:. Sc we
cre nct :imicn: eiIherl {Sc||y c|| ycu Cnc||e: Dc|w|n |c||cwe|:)

Ihere cre mcny, mcny, cIher excmp|e: l ccu|c gc inIc, in ccmpcring hcw
cifferenI we rec||y cre frcm Ihe cnimc| kingccm. 8uI c|| IhcI mcIIer:, i:
IhcI ycu :ee ncw IhcI whcI wcrk: c: cn /|phc fcr Ihe cnimc|:, i: ncI whcI
wcrk: Le:I c: cn /|phc fcr u: humcn:.

So whot I propose |n th|s book, |s thot whot you fhoughf you needed to be
[the A|pho} |s o b|urred truth. I soy to you r|ght here ond now, thot the |nner
A|pho you need to un|eosh, |s not the some A|pho thot hos been pro|sed
os the true |eoders, the true w|nners, ond the tru|y hoppy. Ihot, |nsteod, |t |s
the ononym|ty o| o 8eto, work|ng "beh|nd the scenes" thot ore the true
|eoders, the ones who ore reo||y contro|||ng ond chong|ng the wor|d, ond
os o resu|t, be|ng the reo| A|pho.
For every greot |eoder [A|pho} there were odv|sors [8eto} who mode thot
|eoder greot, through the|r |n||uence w|th the |eoder ond the|r ob|||ty to |et
the |eoder hove the spot||ght. In o|| o| h|story, every greot |eoder hod ot
|eost one odv|sor whose odv|ce ond |nput wos occepted w|thout quest|on.
8ECOME thot "odv|sor", ond you w||| 8ECOME the power thot |ue|s thot
"|eoder", wh|ch resu|ts |n YOb becom|ng the octuo| A|pho. And the more
you hone these sk|||s, the more they become o hob|t. Ihe more they
become o hob|t, the more they become noturo|. And the more they
become noturo|, the more you w||| ||nd yourse|| do|ng them w|thout hov|ng
to even th|nk obout |t.
Ihere ore mony woys to occomp||sh thot, no motter where you ore |n your
|||e r|ght now. A|| |t tokes, |s the |o|th o| o mustord seed, ond opp|y|ng whot
|s |n th|s bookI













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12



Ihe A|pho You Moy NOI
Wont to 8e



Ncw l wcnI Ic mcve cn Ic Ihe vcrieIy cf /|phc Iype: IhcI l hcve fcunc
cmcng u: humcn:. /: l :cic ecr|ier, Ihere cre /|phc mc|e: /ND /|phc
femc|e:, :c Ihe fc||cwing cpp|ie: Ic LcIhl Ihey ecch hcve Iheir pc:iIive:,
LuI c|mc:I c|| cf Ihem ccnIcin Ihe negcIive cf ncI Leing Ihe mc:I
effecIive /|phc, Lc:ec cn my fincing:. Fecr ncI if ycu ncIice cne cr Iwc
e|emenI: cf ycur:e|f in Ihe fc||cwing ccIegcrie:, iI cce: ncI cuIcmcIicc||y
mecn ycu wi|| Le c Lcc /|phc. Ju:I Le :ure Ic mcke ncIe cf Ihe e|emenI:
cf ycur:e|f ycu mighI ncIice in Ihi: chcpIer, c: ycu wi|| Le u:ing IhcI
infcrmcIicn in Ihe nexI chcpIer.


A|pho MbD

Ncw l cm cLcuI Ic rec||y pi:: cff :cme reccer: whc c|reccy Ihink Ihey cre
cn /|phc. /nc fcr Ihe mc:I pcrI, Ihey mighI ccIuc||y ce cn /|phc, LuI in c
wcy IhcI i: ccIuc||y HlNDEFlNG Iheir Irue pcIenIic| in:Iecc cf imprcving iI.
Ihe kinc IhcI l cm Ic|king cLcuI, cre Ihe cne: whc wc|k righI up Ic c
wcmcn/mcn cnc immecicIe|y :IcrI Irying Ic ccnIrc| Ihe :iIucIicn cnc Ihe
wcmcn/mcn. Ihey Ic|k crrcgcnI|y cnc cfIen ccnce:cencing Ic Ihe
wcmcn/mcn, cnc ccI c: if iI: her/hi: |c:: fcr ncI giving Ihem exccI|y whcI
Ihey wcnI.
Ihe mc:I ccmmcn excmp|e: cf Ihe:e cre mc|e, :c l|| ccnIinue cn u:ing
IhcI gencer c: Ihe excmp|e.
He wi|| cc|| her Ihing: |ike 8cLe" cnc SweeIy" wiIhin :eccnc: cf fir:I
meeIing her. /nc he u:e: Ihe:e ncme: NCI c: c wcy cf Leing p|cyfu| cnc
fun, LuI rcIher c: cn in:u|I, c: if :he i: LenecIh him cnc ncI wcrIhy cf
re:pecI. He wi|| Lehcve c: if :he hc: Leen wciIing c|| her |ife fcr him,
in:Iecc cf |eIIing her ccme Ic IhcI ccnc|u:icn cn her cwn. 8uI whi|e Ihe:e
mcy Le /|phc-|ike Lehcvicr:, Ihey cre ncI Ihe /|phc Lehcvicr: ycu wcnI
Ic |eI run wi|c. Ihe rec:cn why, i: Leccu:e Ihe:e Lehcvicr cnc ccIicn: cre
|imiIing Iheir chcnce: fcr geIIing everyIhing Ihey wcnI cnc ce:erve.
Sure, he mighI Le cL|e Ic geI c wcmcn Ic gc hcme wiIh him every :ing|e
nighI, LuI if Ihe guy i: fccu:ec cn percenIcge:, he i: NCI fccu:ec cn Ihe
ccIuc| uc|iIy cnc vc|ue cf whcI he hc:. /nc Ihe mc:I fu|fi||ec /|phc
Mc|e cn|y wcnI:, cnc geI:, uc|iIy, cr he keep: cI iI unIi| he geI: iI.
Ihi: kinc cf /|phc, i: ccIuc||y whcI l cc|| /|phc Muc." l cc|| Ihem IhcI
Leccu:e Ihey Ihrcw whc cnc whcI Ihey cre cI pecp|e, cnc Ihe re:u|I i:
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13


IhcI mcny pecp|e |ecve wiIh c ci:Ic:Iefu| impre::icn, c: if hiI in Ihe fcce
wiIh muc. /nc when Ihe /|phc Muc cc ncI geI c fcvcrcL|e re:u|I, Ihey
L|cme Ihe cIher per:cn, cnc re:crI Ic ncme cc||ing cnc/cr :cying :cme
ruce in:u|I. IhcI: ncI Ihe kinc cf /|phc whc :cunc: very hcppy wiIh Iheir
cLi|iIie:, righI Ihe mc:I fu|fi||ec, cnc mc:I :ucce::fu| /|phc cc ncI neec
Ic re:crI Ic in:u|I: ju:I Leccu:e Ihey cic ncI geI Iheir wcy. / uc|iIy /|phc
cce: ncI neec Ic Le|iII|e cr :hcw cnger Ic :cmecne ju:I Leccu:e Ihey cic
ncI geI Iheir wcy. Fecp|e whc geI cefen:ive when Ihey cc ncI geI Iheir
wcy, cre Icc in:ecure Ic cccepI IhcI mcyLe Ihe :iIucIicn neec: Ic gc cn
unexpecIec wcy :cmeIime:, :c IhcI Ihe LeIIer, cnc higher uc|iIy re:u|I,
ccn ccme Ic Le. Ihey neec Ic hcve |e:: eGC" cnc mcre |eI iI GC."
Ihey hcve cn in:ecure view cf cefecI, cnc cn inf|cIec :en:e cf whcI iI
mecn: Ic Le c mcn." Ihey mighI Le cL|e Ic ec:i|y chcrm cn enIire rccm,
LuI IhcI chcrm crcck: cnc Iurn: Ic muc when Ihey cc ncI geI Iheir wcy.
Ihi: i: ncI Ic :cy IhcI pi::ing pecp|e cff cce:nI mcke ycu cn /|phc. ln
fccI, c: cn /|phc, ycu wi|| freuenI|y experience pecp|e whc Leccme
pi::ec cff cI ycu. Ihey mighI Le pi::ec Leccu:e Ihey perceive ycu hcving
pcwer cver Ihem, cnc Ihey ccn ncI re:i:I ycu, :c Ihey Leccme cngry cver
Iheir incLi|iIy Ic re:i:I. Cr Ihey mighI Le pi::ec Leccu:e ycu cre whcI Ihey
wi:h Ihey ccu|c Le, cnc Leccu:e ycu :eem Ic cc iI :c effcrI|e::|y, :c
ncIurc||y, Ihey fee| incceucIe, cnc c very ccmmcn reccIicn Ic
incceuccy, i: cnger. Sc pecp|e Leing cngry cr pi::ec cff cI ycu i:
ccIuc||y c gccc :ign IhcI ycure Leing cn /|phc Mc|e. {n|: cce: nct
necn ycu :ncu|c |cck |c| wcy: tc p|:: pecp|e c|| tncugn|} Ihe ci:IincIicn
Ihcugh, LeIween cn /|phc Mc|e cnc cn /|phc Muc, i: IhcI Ihe /|phc
Mc|e remcin: cc|m cnc in ccnIrc|, whi|e Ihe /|phc Muc |c:he: cuI
verLc||y cnc/cr phy:icc||y. lf ycu cre inIenIicnc||y Irying Ic mcke :cmecne
fee| Lcc cr fee| infericr, IhcI: Leing cn /|phc Muc. Ihe cn|y rec|
excepIicn, cI |ec:I in my per:cnc| cpinicn, i: when :cmecne i: Irying Ic
ruin cr ccmcge Ihe uc|iIy cf cn experience, Ic:k, cr gcc|. Fcr excmp|e,
ycu hcve c grecI ccnnecIicn cnc rcppcrI wiIh c wcmcn, Ihen :cme guy
wc|k: up cnc :IcrI: Irying Ic wec:e| Ihe wcmcn frcm ycu, cr Irie: Ic mcke
ycu |cck |ike c fcc|. He i: ncw Irying Ic Icke :cmeIhing frcm ycu {tne
quc||ty c| ycu| expe||ence) cnc EVEFY /|phc Mc|e hc: c righI Ic cefenc
IhcI. Here i: c mcke Le|ieve" Ic furIher exp|cin my pcinI.

Ycu meeI c wcmcn, cnc hcve e:IcL|i:hec c nice uc|iIy experience up
Ic IhcI pcinI. Ihen :cmecne ccme: c|cng, we|| :cy c guy, cnc he :IcrI:
hiIIing cn Ihe wcmcn. Ycu wcu|c Le ccmp|eIe|y wiIhin ycur /|phc righI:
Ic :cy Ic Ihe guy, Were ccing fine. Icke ccre. 8ye." Ihi: i: Lc:icc||y
ci:mi::ing Ihe guy, which mighI cppecr Ic Le cn inIenIicnc| effcrI Ic mcke
Ihe guy fee| Lcc cr Ic mcke him fee| infericr Ic ycu. 8uI if ycu were Ihere
fir:I, he mi::ec cuI, :c he SHCULD Le ci:mi::ec. lf Ihe wcmcn :eem: Ic Le
giving Ihe cIher guy mcre Ihcn pc|iIe cIIenIicn, :he i: |ike|y eiIher |ccking
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14


Ic :ee Iwc guy: fighI cver her, cr :he i: mcre impre::ec wiIh Ihe cIher guy
Ihcn ycu. ln which cc:e, ycu neec Ic Le Ihe IFUE /|phc cnc |eI Ihem
hcve ecch cIher: Iime. lI: ncI cLcuI winning cr |c:ing.

Ihe /|phc cce: ncI |c:e, Ihey ju:I geI whcI Ihey wcnI cr Ihey chcnge
Iheir minc. Fericcl

8e:ice:, hcw much cf c Irue /|phc cre ycu if ycu cre Irying Ic win c
wcmcn whc prefer: :cmecne e|:e cfIer meeIing ycu /|phc: never neec
Ic Leg ncr :upp|iccIe Ic geI whcI Ihey wcnI. Ihey never hcve Ic :ccrifice
Iheir :e|f-wcrIh fcr cccepIcnce. Sc cfIer ycu ci:mi:: Ihe guy, |eI her
Lehcvicr: cLcuI Ihe :iIucIicn cecice whcI ycu cc nexI. lf Ihe guy cce:
ncI |ecve, LuI :he :eem: unccmfcrIcL|e wiIh him Ihere, wciI cnc :ee if
:he ccmp|eIe|y igncre: him cnc fccu:e: Lcck Ic ycu, cr if :he :cy:
cnyIhing ci:mi::ive Ic him. ScmeIhing |ike, l cpprecicIe Ihe ccmp|imenI,
hcve c nice nighI." Cr F|ec:e |ecve." Give her c chcnce Ic geI ric cf
him. 8uI :cmeIime: c wcmcn wi|| :imp|y :huI up cnc |eI ycu geI ric cf Ihe
guy. Ihe Le:I :ugge:Iicn l ccn give in :uch c cc:e, i: Ic Icke ycur uc|iIy
experience {tne cne w|tn tne wcncn) cnc mcve iI Ic c cifferenI |cccIicn.
ScmeIhing |ike :cying Ic her, Ihi: i: gcing Ic gc cn c|| nighI if we hcng cuI
here. LeI: gc :cmep|cce where we ccn enjcy ecch cIher wiIhcuI c|| cf
Ihe:e inIerrupIicn:." lI i: neiIher wimpy ncr running cwcy" if ycu Icke her
cnc |ecve Ihe :iIucIicn.

Lcck cI iI Ihi: wcy: lf ycu cre enjcying c uc|iIy experience wiIh c wcmcn,
cnc c fire Lrcke cuI, ycu wcu|cnI :Icy Ihere cnc Icke cn Ihe fire ju:I Ic
:hcw iI whc wc: in ccnIrc|, righI l wcu|c hcpe ncIl ln:Iecc, ycu wcu|c
Icke her Ic c |cccIicn IhcI wcu|c prevenI Ihe fire frcm Leing c fccIcr cny
|cnger. We||, Ihe :cme i: Irue here.

Fcr Icc cfIen cn /|phc Muc" wi|| |eI Ihing: geI Ic Ihe pcinI cf IhrecI: cnc
phy:icc| ccIicn: when cncIher guy Irie: Ic inIerfere wiIh Ihe uc|iIy
experience he i: hcving wiIh c wcmcn. 8uI Ly ccing IhcI, Ihe wcy IhcI l
:ee iI, Ihe /|phc Muc" hc: ju:I |eI hi: pcwer gc cnc |eI Ihe cIher guy
hcve Ihe ccnIrc| cf whcI wc: gcing Ic hcppen.

/|phc Mc|e: cc ncI neec Ic inIrccuce verLc| fcrce cr phy:icc| fcrce
cpIicn:, cnc :hcu|c cn|y re:crI Ic iI when cirecI|y cefencing him:e|f cnc/
cr Ihc:e he i: wiIh. /nc cirecI|y cefencing" in MY u:e cf Ihe Ierm, mecn:
IhcI Ihe cIher guy hc: c|reccy IhrecIenec phy:icc| hcrm, cr e|:e hc:
c|reccy mcce c phy:icc| cIIcck. Cr if he hc: mcce remcrk: Ic Ihe
wcmcn |ike, Nice IiI:, LcLel" cr 8iIchl" Such c guy i: ci:hcncring Ihe
wcmcn ycu cre :hcring c uc|iIy experience wiIh, cnc c: incepencenI c:
Icccy: wcmen mcy Le, ycu :hcu|c :Ii|| cefenc c wcmcn: hcncr. lI hc:
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ncIhing Ic cc wiIh prcIecIing her, LuI hc: everyIhing Ic cc wiIh prcIecIing
Ihe inve:ImenI cf Ihe enccunIer ycu LcIh cre :hcring.

/nc Ic c|crify, l cm Ic|king cLcuI cn emcIicnc| cnc c Iime inve:ImenI, nct
cn l pcic fcr Ihi:, cnc IhcI" inve:ImenI. Spencing mcney cn wcmen i:
ncI c Icpic l wi|| Le gcing inIc in Ihi: Lcck. Fcr IhcI, ycu|| hcve Ic geI c
ccpy cf my nexI Lcck 8eIc inIc /|phc: Ihe Fire cf SecucIicn."

8uI l cigre::...

l recc|| cn epi:cce cf NYFD 8|ue" where cne cf Ihe mcin chcrccIer: i:
:Icncing cI c Lcr wiIh c wcmcn he ccme Ihere wiIh. / guy cnc hi: Luccy
ccme cver cnc cne cf Ihe guy: :cy: :cmeIhing |ike, Hey, LcLy, hcw cre
ycu IcnighI" Ihe wcmcn Ie||: Ihe guy IhcI :he i: here wiIh :cmecne cnc
ncI inIere:Iec. She Ihen Iurn: her cIIenIicn Lcck Ic Ihe mcin chcrccIer.
Ihe guy Legin: in:u|Iing Ihe wcmcn, cnc cc||ing her c LiIch." Ihe mcin
chcrccIer cpprccche: Ihe guy cnc :cy:, Ihe wcmcn :cy: :he: ncI
inIere:Iec. /nc ycu cwe her cn cpc|cgy." Ihe guy Irie: Ic geI in Ihe mcin
chcrccIer: fcce, LuI Ihe mcin chcrccIer :cy:, Ycu cpc|cgize Ic her, cr
ycu cnc me cre gcing Ic :Iep cuI:ice." Ihen Ihe mcin chcrccIer Iurn: Ic
Ihe guy: Luccy cnc :cy:, /nc l cinI gcI c prcL|em kicking ycur c::
Icc." Ihe guy cpc|cgize:, Ihen he cnc hi: Luccy |ecve.
Ihi: i: c grecI excmp|e cf hcw cn /|phc Mc|e remcin: fccu:ec {|gnc|e:
tne cpp|cccn|ng guy. u:t ccnt|nue: tc|k|ng w|tn tne wcncn. cnc |et': ne|
|e:pcnc tc tne |nte||upt|cn :|nce |t wc: c||ectec tc ne|) cnc cn|y cfIer Ihe
:iIucIicn Leccme: cne cf hi: femc|e ccmpcnicn Leing ci:re:pecIec cce:
he Icke chcrge cnc p|cce Ihe cIher guy inIc cn infericr pc:iIicn.

8uI, IhcI wc: c Ie|evi:icn :hcw, ncI rec| |ife, :c l cm in nc wcy :ugge:Iing
ycu u:e Ihe :cme meIhcc Ic p|cce c guy inIc cn infericr pc:iIicn. My
per:cnc| :Icnce i: IhcI phy:icc| cnc verLc| inIimiccIicn :hcu|c cn|y Le
u:ec Ic cefenc cgcin:I c phy:icc| cIIcck cgcin:I ycu cnc/cr Ihe pecp|e
ycu cre wiIh. Sc whi|e l ccmp|eIe|y :uppcrI :cying, She :cic :he: ncI
inIere:Iec. /nc ycu cwe her cn cpc|cgy." l per:cnc||y wcu|c ncI hcve
fc||cwec IhcI up Ly :cying Ic Ihe guy IhcI he eiIher cpc|cgize cr we||
:Iep cuI:ice.

Fer:cnc||y, if l were in IhcI :iIucIicn, l :ee ncIhing wrcng wiIh :imp|y Icking
Ihe wcmcn Ly Ihe hcnc, cnc u:ing Ihe cIher guy: igncrcnI Lehcvicr c: c
perfecI excu:e Ic gc :cmep|cce mcre privcIe.
Ycu mighI Ihink :uch c reccIicn :cunc: |ike l wc: Leing c chicken, c 8eIc,
cnc |eIIing Ihe cIher guy chc:e u: cff. 8uI l cm cf Ihe Le|ief IhcI Ihe
uc|iIy cf Ihe experience l wcnI wiIh Ihe wcmcn, i: mcre impcrIcnI Ihcn
hcw l |cck in :cme |cucmcuIh: eye:. ln cIher wcrc:, whi|e l hcve zerc
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prcL|em: punching :cmecne in Ihe Lrcin: if Ihey cIIempI Ic hcrm me cr
Ihe wcmcn l'm wiIh, lm :ecure encugh wiIh my:e|f IhcI l cc ncI neec Ic
|eI :cme igncrcnI fcc|: weck wcrc: Iurn Ihe :iIucIicn Ic vic|ence. lm
Ihere Ic enjcy Ihe wcmcn, :c lm gcing Ic enjcy her, cnc mcinIcin IhcI
fccu:.

Ihe mc|e egc i: c :Ircng cne, c: ycu kncw. 8uI ncwhere cce: iI :cy IhcI
ycu cre |e:: cf c mcn fcr wc|king cwcy frcm c :iIucIicn IhcI hcc ncI
c|reccy Iurnec vic|enI. Defenc ycur:e|f, LuI c|:c hcve encugh :e|f-wcrIh
ncI Ic |eI :cme icicI Icke ycur fccu: cwcy frcm whcI iI i: ycu cre Irying Ic
ccccmp|i:h.
/gree cr ncI, Ihe chcice i: ycur:, c: i: Ihe cuIccme iI Lring:.


Ihe A|pho M|cro-Monoger


Ihere cre mu|Iip|e ncme: fcr Ihi: kinc cf /|phc, LuI Ihe Iwc mc:I pcpu|cr
{cnc nc:t |cn|||c|) cre ccnIrc| freck" cnc micrc-mcncger."
Ihe /|phc IhcI fc||: inIc Ihi: ccIegcry hc: c very ncrrcw view cf hcw Ihing:
neec Ic Le ccne, cnc IhcI view c|mc:I c|wcy: fc||: uncer my wcy." Ihey
exerI uiIe c |crge cmcunI cf effcrI Ic mcke Ihing: wcrk Ihe wcy Ihey
wcnI Ic.
Which, Ly iI:e|f i: pcrI cf Leing cn /|phc. 8uI where Ihi: Iype :IumL|e:, i:
Ihey fci| Ic :ee {c| ccn't cc|e cccut) Ihe |cng-Ierm rcmificcIicn cf Iheir
Lehcvicr cnc ccIicn:.
Ihey cre fccu:ec cn Ihe immecicIe fee|ing cf :cIi:fccIicn IhcI ccme:
frcm Ihem Leing in chcrge" cnc cre ncI very ccncernec cLcuI Ihe cIher
per:cn: fee|ing: cr cpinicn:. Cr, if Ihey c|e ccncernec, iI i: cfIen cn|y in
re|cIicn Ic hcw iI cffecI: IHEM c: c re:u|I, ncI hcw iI cffecI: Ihe cIher
per:cn/pecp|e.

/ rec| |ife excmp|e cf :uch cn /|phc," wcu|c Le Ihe Ic|e cf c wcmcn
whcm l wi|| cc|| Erin, c new mcncger cI c rec| e:IcIe ccmpcny.
/|mc:I frcm Ihe very Leginning, Erin wc: c|Iering cnc chcnging hcw
Ihing: were ccne. Cn Ihe :urfcce cne wcu|c Ihink, F||n wc: ||gnt tc cc
tnct. ccv|cu:|y tne wcy tn|ng: u:ec tc ce ccne |c||ec encugn tc wc||cnt
c new ncncge|." /nc cn Ihe :urfcce cne wcu|c Le ccrrecI. Hcwever,
her chcnge: were cfIen mcre c mcIIer cf ccnt|c|. Ihcn whcI wcu|c
imprcve Ihing: cI Ihe ccmpcny. /nc :he |cckec :c |iII|e pecp|e :ki||:, IhcI
cn mcre Ihcn cne cccc:icn l hecrc emp|cyee: refer Ic Erin c: tne
||cn|ng c|tcn ||cn ne||." Erin wcu|c Ic|k Ic emp|cyee: |ike Ihey were cumL
|iII|e kic:, cnc uiIe freuenI|y mcce in:u|Iing remcrk: Ic emp|cyee:. /nc
her neec Ic Le in ccnIrc| wenI c: ceep c: Ic inc|uce her ccing Ihe wcrk
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:checu|ing fcr every cepcrImenI uncer her, wiIhcuI cnce ccn:u|Iing wiIh
Ihe cepcrImenI: Ic :ee if cny emp|cyee: hcc cerIcin ccy: Ihey ccu|c ncI
wcrk. /nc whi|e inncvcIive pecp|e neec Ic Lreck Ihe ru|e:" Erin Icck
Ihing: c :Iep Leycnc, cnc cn mcre Ihcn c few cccc:icn: fe|I Ihe neec Ic
Lreck Ihe |cw." Ic her, everycne wc: c|reccy LenecIh her, LuI when iI
ccme Ic pecp|e whc ci:cgreec wiIh her, :he wcu|c mcke up vic|cIicn:"
Ic ju:Iify IermincIing Ihc:e pecp|e.
Erin wc: cefiniIe|y cn /|phc, :he ju:I fci|ec her:e|f Ly Icking c::erIivene::
much Icc fcr. When ycu hcve Ic in:u|I cr cemecn pecp|e, in:Iecc cf
inf|uence cnc uncer:Icnc Ihem, ycu cre :cLcIcging mcny cf Ihe vicIcrie:
IhcI ycu ccn hcve in ycur |ife.

/nc whi|e cn /|phc |: :cmewhcI ccnIrc||ing, Ihe mc:I effecIive /|phc c|:c
hc: Ihe f|exiLi|iIy Ic rec|ize IhcI cIher pecp|e ccn hcve Ihe righI cn:wer:
Icc. Ju:I Leccu:e :cmecne e|:e hc: c LeIIer icec, cce: ncI mcke ycu
|e:: cf cn /|phc. Secrch hi:Icry, cnc ycu wi|| finc IhcI every grecI |eccer
hcc ccvi:cr:. Ihi: i: viIc| Ic rememLer, Leccu:e egc ccn fcc| ycu inIc
Ihinking IhcI ycu mu:I hcve /LL cf Ihe cn:wer:. Ihe :ure:I wcy Ic |ecc
ycur:e|f Ic cefecI, i: Ic Leccme cecf Ic wcrc: IhcI ccu|c hcve in:pirec,
cnc Ic Leccme L|inc Ic Ihe imcge: IhcI ccu|c hcve enhcncec Ihe vi:icn
cf ycur gcc|:.

/cciIicnc||y, in virIuc||y every cc:e, Ihe /|phc micrc-mcncger i:
ccmpen:cIing fcr Iheir :ecreI" in:ecuriIie:, cnc c :e|f-impc:ec jec|cu:y cf
cnycne :ucceecing where Ihey hcve ncI.

lnIere:Iing|y encugh, Ihi: Iype cf /|phc hc: |iII|e re:pecI fcr Ihc:e whc cc
whcIever Ihe /|phc micrc-mcncger wcnI:, yeI hc: re:pecI fcr Ihc:e wiIh
Ihe ccnficence Ic :Icnc up Ic Ihem. Ihey wcnI Iheir wcy c|| Ihe Iime, yeI
cn|y re:pecI Ihc:e whc cc ncI |eI Ihem hcve IhcI. lnIere:Iing cichcIcmy.


Ihe Sov|ng Foce A|pho

Ihi:, in my per:cnc| cpinicn, i: cne cf Ihe :ccce:I cf c|| Ihe /|phc:. l :cy
IhcI, Leccu:e :c much cf Iheir energy i: :penI Irying Ic mcke pecp|e Ihink
Ihey cre hcppy cnc wiIhcuI regreI. YeI in:ice Ihey fee| :c |c:I cnc
ci:p|ec:ec. Ihey rcre|y cccepI L|cme fcr Ihe Lcc IhcI hcppen: in Iheir
|ife, preferring in:Iecc Ic cc:I Ihe L|cme cn cuI:ice :curce: cnc
circum:Icnce:. YeI nighI cfIer nighI, ccy inIc ccy, Ihey kncw ceep ccwn
IhcI Ihey cre :imp|y c mc:k cf Iheir Irue :e|f. We c|| wecr mc:k:, which l
wi|| Le gcing inIc |cIer in Ihi: Lcck, LuI Ihe Scving Fcce /|phc: mc:k i:
mcre |ike IhcI cf c :he||, Ihcn c wcy Ic cc-exi:I. Which i: Ic :cy IhcI Ihey
u:e Iheir mc:k c: c cefen:e Icc|, rcIher Ihcn c: c rcppcrI Icc|.
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18


Sc, hcw ccn cne reccgnize c Scving Fcce /|phc /: i: my wcy, l :hc||
c|crify wiIh c Irue |ife :Icry. /: i: c|:c my wcy, Ihe ncme hc: Leen
chcngec cuI cf re:pecI fcr Ihe per:cn: privccy.

l knew c wcmcn ncmec /ngie. Whenever ycu wcu|c inIerccI wiIh her,
:he wcu|c :eem |ike Ihe mc:I cheery per:cn. NcIhing :eemec Ic crcin
IhcI :mi|e frcm her fcce, :he Iru|y :eemec |ike c hcppy per:cn. She wcu|c
|cugh cI c|mc:I cny jcke ycu Ic|c, cnc hcrc|y c negcIive ccmmenI wcu|c
e:ccpe her |ip:. /|| in c||, :he wcu|c :eem |ike Ihe innccenI |iII|e gir| whc
ju:I hc: c grecI |cve fcr |ife. 8uI, if ycu were Ic Leccme frienc: wiIh her,
cnc ycu pcic cIIenIicn Ic Ihe |iII|e Ihing: cLcuI her, ycu wcu|c :ccn
rec|ize IhcI :he hcc c very ce|iccIe egc cnc nc rec| uncer:Icncing cf
|cyc|Iy. /I fir:I, my cn|y inIerccIicn: wiIh /ngie were |imiIec Ic cc:uc|
minuIe cr :c" ccnver:cIicn: cI wcrk. Ihen, cue Ic c :cfeIy ccncern, :he
wcnIec cn e:ccrI Ic her ccr cI nighI. ln Ihe prcce::, /ngie cnc l Leccme
frienc:. l hcc nc rcmcnIic inIere:I in her, LuI l enjcy Leing crcunc crecIive
minc:, cnc :he hcc :uch c minc.
CuIIing Ic Ihe mcre impcrIcnI pcinI:, l Legcn Ic ncIice IhcI /ngie hcc
:cme inIere:Iing hcLiI: cnc Lehcvicr:. Fcr cne Ihing, if :he cnc l were
Ic|king cn Ihe phcne cr cn|ine, cnc l wcu|c :cy IhcI l hcc Ic gc, :he
wcu|c o|woys rep|y c|cng Ihe |ine: cf, Yech, me Icc."
lf we hcc mcce p|cn: Ic geI IcgeIher, cnc :cmeIhing ccme up IhcI
ccu:ec me Ic ccnce|, :he wcu|c o|woys rep|y wiIh, l ccnI mcke iI
eiIher" Cr, if l hcc Ic chcnge Ihe ccy cr Iime Ic geI IcgeIher, :he wcu|c
o|woys give c rep|y c|cng Ihe |ine: cf, IhcI ccy/Iime wc: Lcc fcr me
Icc."
/I fir:I, given her c|wcy: cheery" cemecncr, l excu:ec iI c: her wcy cf
ncI wcnIing me Ic fee| Lcc fcr hcving Ic |ecve cr chcnge p|cn:.
8uI Ihen l Legcn Ic ncIice :cme Ihing: IhcI :hec new |ighI cn her
Lehcvicr.
l Legcn Ic ncIice IhcI when :cmeIhing :he wc: :uppc:ec Ic cc cicnI
geI ccne, :he mcce excu:e:. Like cne Iime :he wc: :uppc:ec Ic puI
IcgeIher :cme pcckeI: fcr :cme Icuri:I: whc wcu|c Le crriving. 8uI :he
cicnI cc iI. When c:kec why, :he c|cimec cncIher emp|cyee :cic Ihey
wcu|c cc iI. When Ihe cIher emp|cyee :cic, l cicnI :cy IhcI, l :cic lc
he|p." /ngie rep|iec, Ch, l mu:I hcve mi:uncer:Iccc. lm :crry." YeI IhcI
nighI, Ic her mcncger /ngie :cic, l wc: Lu:y cn Ihe phcne, cnc :encing
fcxe:, cnc upccIing Ihe week|y |i:I, :c :he :cic :he wcu|c Icke ccre cf Ihe
pcckeI: :ince lm ccing :c much c|reccy." /nc cf ccur:e, :ince /ngie
:eemec |ike Ihi: hcppy cnc cheery per:cn, her creciLi|iIy wc: ncI
ue:Iicnec cnc :he cic ncI geI inIc cny IrcuL|e fcr iI. /nc l ncIicec :he
mcce excu:e: fcr cnyIhing IhcI mighI hcve gcIIen her inIc IrcuL|e.
lnc|ucing Ihe Iime l wc: hcme, cn my ccy cff, cnc hcc cc||ec Ic c:k her
Ic mcke c ccpy cf :cmeIhing fcr me IhcI l hcc fcrgcIIen. When l gcI Ic
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19


wcrk Ihe nexI ccy, iI wc:nI ccne. /ngie :wcre :he cic iI, LuI IhcI
:cmecne mu:I hcve Icken iI cff her ce:k. /ngie cicnI rec|ize IhcI Ihe
ccmpcny hcc c cevice cn Ihe ccpier, which cup|iccIec cnyIhing
ccpiec, Ic mcniIcr emp|cyee: u:ing Ihe ccpier fcr per:cnc| u:e.
l wenI Ic Ihe cepcrImenI where Ihe cup|iccIe: were mcce, cnc c:kec
Ihem Ic check fcr c :pecific cccumenI IhcI wc: :uppc:ec Ic hcve Leen
ccpiec Ihe ccy Lefcre. We||, Ihey checkec, cnc Ihe cccumenI wc: ncI
Ihere. l ccnfrcnIec /ngie cLcuI iI, cnc :he mcce yeI cncIher excu:e. She
:cic IhcI :cmecne mu:I hcve Icken iI, Leccu:e :he cefiniIe|y mcce Ihe
ccpy.
Finc||y, l ncIicec IhcI if :he hcc menIicnec p|cn: :he hcc, cnc iI cicnI
wcrk cuI, :he wcu|c eiIher :cy :he cic :cmeIhing LeIIer, cr L|cmec ncI
ccing iI cn :cmeIhing cr :cmecne. Cnce, :he hcc :pcke cn cnc cn
cLcuI c weekenc Irip Ic Ihe mcunIcin: :he wc: gcing cn. Ihe Mcnccy
cfIer iI wc: :uppc:ec Ic hcve hcppenec, l c:kec her hcw :he |ikec her
weekenc, cnc :he rep|iec, My frienc gcI :ick cnc ccu|cnI gc, :c l wenI
Ic Ihe Lecch in:Iecc, which i: whcI l hcc IhcughI cLcuI ccing cnywcy,
:c l hcc mcre fun."
/I Ihi: pcinI, |ccking cver c|| Ihe Ihing: IcgeIher, l Legcn Ic rec|ize IhcI
/ngie wc: Ihe Iype Ic Iry cnc c|wcy: :cve fcce.
Ckcy, :c :he wc: cne Ic :cve fcce. WhcI mcce her c :cving fcce
/LFH/
/: ec:y c: iI :cunc:, :he wc: cn /|phc {tncugn c ve|y weck cne) cue Ic
Ihe fccI IhcI :ince :he pre:enIec her:e|f c: Ihi: perky, ncn vincicIive, cnc
:eemec genuine|y innccenI, :he wc: cL|e Ic mcnipu|cIe pecp|e cnc
inf|uence :iIucIicn: wiIhcuI cnycne {except ne...eventuc||y) ncIicing :he
wc: ccing iI.
Her f|cw, c: i: Ihe cc:e wiIh mcny Scving Fcce /|phc," wc: IhcI :he u:ec
mcnipu|cIicn fcr :e|fi:h rec:cn:, ncI muIuc||y Leneficic| rec:cn:.

NCF. ne CXFCFD D|C|CNAFY ce||ne: ncn|pu|cte c:.

1. Hcnc|e. e:p. :k||||u||y 2. ncncge (c pe|:cn. :|tuct|cn. etc.} tc cne': cwn
ccvcntcge. e:p. un|c|||y.

IhcI cefiniIicn i: f|cwec, e:pecic||y cefiniIicn 2. {c: c|e ncny ce||n|t|cn:
tnct ncke :cnetn|ng cut tc ce c negct|ve.}
8uI |eI me en|ighIen ycu Ic Ihe fccI IhcI you ore us|ng mon|pu|ot|on r|ght
ot th|s very momentI Ycu cre mcking ycur eye: recc Ihe:e wcrc:, Ihu: ycu
cre mcnipu|cIing Ihem Ic cc whcI ycu wcnI Ihem Ic cc.
l: IhcI c Lcc Ihing l: IhcI c negcIive Ihing
When ycu :cy :cmeIhing Ic ycur Lcyfrienc/gir|frienc Ic geI Ihem crcu:ec,
cr ycu Icuch ycur Lcyfrienc/gir|frienc c cerIcin wcy IhcI geI: Ihem
crcu:ec, ycu cre mcnipu|cIing Ihem Ic re:pcnc in c wcy IhcI ycu knew
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wcu|c crcu:e Ihem.
Wc: IhcI c Lcc Ihing Wc: IhcI c negcIive Ihing
Sc Ihe negcIive :Iigmc cIIcchec Ic Ihe wcrc mcnipu|cIe cnc
mcnipu|cIicn," neec: Ic :Icpl Ihi: kinc cf f|cwec cefining cf Ihing: cre
pcrI cf Ihe rec:cn pecp|e cre Leing IcughI Ly Le|ief: IhcI prevenI Ihem
frcm un|ec:hing Iheir /|phc. ln Ihe Chopter Ihot W||| Chonge Your 8e||e|
obout 8e||e|s" l|| gc inIc much ceeper ceIci|: cLcuI Ihe f|cwec cefiniIicn:
cnc L|inc fciIh: IhrcughcuI Hi:Icry, cnc pre:enI :ccieIy, IhcI cre
ccmcging Ihe very Ihing: Ihey were crecIec Ic prcIecI.


Ihe Fonz| A|pho

8cck in /ugu:I 11, cn lIc|icn immigrcnI ncmec Chcr|e: Fcnzi cpenec
up c Lu:ine:: cc||ec Ihe SecuriIie: Exchcnge Ccmpcny. Hi: :Icry Ic
inve:Icr: wc: IhcI he LcughI pc:Ic| rep|y ccupcn: in Eurcpe, cnc wc:
cL|e Ic receem Ihem in Ihe UniIec SIcIe: cI c prcfiI Leccu:e cf currency
f|ucIucIicn:. {He c|c|nec tnct n|: |c|e|gn cgent: ccugnt tne ccupcn: |n
ccunt||e: w|tn weck eccncn|e:.) Hi: c|cim Ic inve:Icr:: W|th|n 0 doys you
w||| rece|ve 50 percent |nterest on your |nvestment.
Sc c $20 inve:ImenI cfIer Ihree mcnIh: wcu|c Lring $30, cn cmczing
reIurn curing IhcI Iime.
/I fir:I, inve:Icr: were hcppy, Fcnzi wc: inceec giving Ihem Lcck 50
percenI reIurn: cn Iheir iniIic| inve:ImenI. Fecp|e Ly Ihe Ihcu:cnc:
purchc:ec Fcnzi prcmi::cry ncIe:, wiIh vc|ue: rcnging frcm $10, Ic
$50,000.
lI: e:IimcIec IhcI Ihe cvercge inve:ImenI wc: cLcuI $300.
/nc c :ec:cn :hy cf c yecr |cIer, Fcnzi wc: mcking cLcuI $1 MlLLlCN FEF
WEEKlll
Neec|e:: Ic :cy, he |ivec c very |cvi:h |ife, cnc hcc even purchc:ec c 20
rccm LexingIcn mcn:icnl
/|| wc: gccc, unIi| Ju|y 2, 120.
Ihe 8c:Icn Fc:I rcn c frcnI pcge crIic|e cn Fcnzi: :cheme, cnc iI wc: ncI
c fcvcrcL|e cne. /: c re:u|I cf Ihe crIic|e, nc new inve:ImenI: were
c||cwec unIi| Ihe ccmpcny ccu|c Le cuciIec.
Ihe finc| cuciI ccnc|ucec IhcI Fcnzi: ccmpcny hcc cccepIec encugh
mcney frcm inve:Icr: Ic Luy cpprcximcIe|y 180,000,000 pc:Ic| ccupcn:.
Ihey ccu|c cn|y ccnfirm IhcI 2 hcc ccIuc||y Leen purchc:ec.
/pprcximcIe|y 40,000 pecp|e hcc fcrkec cver cn e:IimcIec $15 mi||icn Ic
Fcnzi {wn|cn wc|k: cut tc ce cccut $!40 n||||cn |n tcccy': eccncnyl) yeI
cn|y cn e:IimcIec $30 wcrIh cf ccupcn: hcc ccIuc||y Leen :c|c cI IhcI
Iime, lN IHE ENIlFE WCFLDl

Fcnzi: :cheme wc: c c|ever cne cI IhcI Iime. He wcu|c repcy c|c
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inve:Icr: wiIh mcney cc||ecIec frcm new inve:Icr:, cnc Ihe cyc|e wcu|c
ccnIinue IhcI wcy, c: |cng c: he ccnIinuec Ic geI new inve:Icr:. Cnce
Ihe mcney :Icppec f|cwing in, Fcnzi wc: :crewec.
Hi: IcIc| c::eI: in Ihe enc, were :cic Ic Le crcunc $1.5 mi||icn, LuI he
cwec hi: inve:Icr: c IcIc| cf cLcuI $7 mi||icnl

Ncw IhcI l hcve :hcrec c piece cf ccn crIi:I hi:Icry wiIh ycu, |eI u:
ccnnecI iI Ic Ihe /|phc Iype IhcI l hcve given Ihe ncme cf Ihe Fcnzi
/|phc."

Ihi: Iype cf /|phc i: cfIen very inf|uenIic|, c grecI ccmmuniccIcr. /nc Ihe
inIere:Iing Ihing i:, Iheyre ncI nece::cri|y |iving in c nice hcu:e, criving c
fcncy ccr, ncr wecring Ihe fine:I c|cIhing.
Scme cre, :cme cre ncI. /nc Ihey ccnI cfIen re:crI Ic :Iec|ing, Ihcugh
:cne cc.
8uI whcI mcke: Ihem c|| fiI inIc Ihi: :cme ccIegcry, i: Ihey cre |iving c |ife
where c|c ceLI:/prcmi:e:/fcvcr: cre Leing hcncrec Ihrcugh new
ceLI:/prcmi:e:/fcvcr:, cnc Ihere i: nc cppcrenI enc in :ighI fcr Ihem.
Ihey cre Ihe cne: whc wi|| Lcrrcw mcney frcm c fcmi|y memLer cr c
frienc, u:e iI Ic hcncr c ceLI {c| :penc |t cn :cnecne :c c: tc ce cc|e tc
:cy. Hey. |enence| | ccugnt ycu tnct _______ Hcw cccut |ccn|ng ne
$20. |'|| pcy ycu ccck wnen | cc:n ny cneck.} cn|y Ic repcy Ihem Lcck
wiIh mcney Ihey hcc Ic Lcrrcw frcm :cmecne e|:e.
Ihey cre uick Ic reminc ycu whcI Ihey cic fcr ycu, LuI ycu|| very rcre|y
{|| eve|) finc Ihem hcncring IhcI ceLI/prcmi:e/fcvcr Ihey cwe ycu,
wiIhcuI hcving Ic reminc Ihem...:cmeIime: remincing Ihem mu|Iip|e
Iime:.
Ihe cn|y excepIicn Leing Ihc:e whc uick|y hcncr whcI Ihey cwe ycu,
cn|y Leccu:e Ihey wcnI Ic u:e iI Ic Iheir ccvcnIcge (Hey. | |epc|c ycu
tnct $20 ec|||e| tncn | p|cn|:ec. |enence| Sc ycu KNCW |'n gccc |c|
tne $50 | neec ||cn ycu ncw.)

8uI ncI everyIhing Ihey Lcrrcw frcm pecp|e i: mcney. /ncIher rec| |ife
excmp|e i: in crcer.

Wi||icm crcve c nice ccr, |ivec in c :pccicu: Icwnhcu:e, cnc cinec wiIh
:cme very inf|uenIic| {cnc c |ew |cncu:) pecp|e. He wc: rcre|y wiIhcuI c
ccup|e cf |cve|y wcmen cI hi: :ice, cnc he cefiniIe|y hcc c pre:ence
when he wc|kec inIc virIuc||y cny rccm.
Ic Ihe Iypicc| cuI:icer he :eemec |ike Ihe kinc cf guy Ic 8E if ycu wcnIec
Ic Le :ucce::fu|.
He W/S wec|Ihy, :c mcney i: ncI why l puI him in Ihe Fcnzi /|phc
ccIegcry.
WhcI mcce Wi||icm Ihi: Iype cf /|phc, wc: IhcI he u:ec hi: ccnnecIicn:
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Ic inf|uence wcmen, hi: wcmen Ic inf|uence ccnnecIicn:, cnc he u:ec
LcIh Ic inf|uence pecp|e Ic cc him fcvcr: :c he ccu|c hcncr prcmi:e: cnc
fcvcr: he mcce Ic hi: wcmen cnc hi: ccnnecIicn:.
Ycu :ee, in Wi||icm: eye:, everycne wc: cuI Ic geI :cmeIhing frcm him.
Sc, he cccpIec Ihi: menIc|iIy IhcI he neecec Ic geI :cmeIhing frcm
everycne |||:t.
ln cIher wcrc:, he hcc Ic LecI Ihem Ic iI.
Here: cne excmp|e cf whcI l mecn
Wi||icm cnce :Iruck up c ccnver:cIicn wiIh :cme guy he hcc |ecrnec
wcrkec cI Ihe SIcp|e CenIer, where Ihe Lc: /nge|e: Lcker: p|cy. Wi||icm
purpc:efu||y hcc :cme |ccc| hcIIie wiIh him cI Ihe Iime, which inf|uencec
Ihe SIcp|e CenIer emp|cyee. Wi||icm wcu|c geI Ihe emp|cyee Ic :ccre
him c ccup|e cf Lcker: IickeI:, iI cicnI mcIIer if Ihe :ecI: were crcppy,
cnc in reIurn Wi||icm wcu|c :ccre Ihe emp|cyee cn inviIe Ic :cme
Hc||ywccc pcrIy. Wi||icm wcu|c Ihen Icke hi: Lcker: IickeI:, crcp cff Ihe
hcIIie :c :he ccu|c geI reccy fcr cinner IhcI nighI {ne nctt|e wc: nct
g|ven c t|cket. :ne u:t c::unec tnct :ne wcu|c ce gc|ng. :|nce :ne wc:
tne|e wnen W||||cn :cc|ec tne t|cket:) cnc gc Ic Ihe hcme cf Ihe guy
whc wc: hcving Ihe pcrIy Wi||icm inviIec Ihe emp|cyee Ic. Wi||icm hcc
cfferec Ic Icke Ihe guy Ic cinner c: repcymenI fcr referring c c|ienI whc
LcughI :cme crIwcrk Wi||icm :e||:. He Ie||: Ihe guy he hc: Ic Lcck cuI cn
cinner fcr Ihe nighI he prcmi:ec, LuI Ic mcke iI up Ic him *Ic-cccch* he
:ccrec Iwc Lcker: IickeI:. Ncw Wi||icm infcrm: him cf Ihe emp|cyee whc
:ccrec Ihe IickeI: fcr him, cnc :ugge:I: |eIIing Ihe emp|cyee ccme Ic Ihe
pcrIy Ihe guy i: hcving Ihi: weekenc. Ihe guy cgree:.
Wi||icm ncw hc: Ic finc c wcy Ic :cIi:fy Ihe hcIIie, whc cLvicu:|y wi|| ncI
Le gcing Ic Ihe gcme. He kncw: IhcI Ihe hcIIie i: :Icr :Iruck, :he |cve:
ruLLing e|Lcw: wiIh ce|eLriIie:. Sc Wi||icm cc||: up c frienc whc wcrk: cI
Ihe ccmpcny c we|| kncw ccIcr geI: hi: vcice mci| Ihrcugh. 8c:ec cn
Wi||icm: |ife:Iy|e, Ihe frienc c::ume: IhcI Wi||icm c|reccy kncw: Ihe ccIcr,
:c when Wi||icm :cy: IhcI he cce:nI hcve Ihe ccIcr: vcice mci| numLer
hcncy {Wn|cn |:n't c ||e :|nce nct ncv|ng tne nunce| ct c|| quc||||e: c:
nct ncncy.) Ihe frienc ccce::e: iI cnc give: Wi||icm Ihe vcice mci|
numLer. /: c wcy cf Ihcnking Ihe frienc, he Ie||: him Ic ncI mcke p|cn:
ScIurccy nighI Leccu:e Wi||icm i: Icking him Ic Ihe pcrIy cf Ihe guy he
gcve Ihe Lcker: IickeI: Ic. Ihe frienc i: :Ickec Leccu:e iI: in Hc||ywccc,
:c iI cce:nI even mcIIer if nc ce|eLriIie: wi|| Le Ihere.
Wi||icm Ihen cc||: up Ihe hcIIie cnc Lreck: Ihe Lcc new: IhcI he gcve Ihe
IickeI: Ic :cmecne c: c Ihcnk ycu fcr referring c c|ienI whc mcce c
:izecL|e purchc:e. 8uI IhcI Ihe cn|y rec:cn he gcve Ihe IickeI: Ic Ihe guy,
wc: Leccu:e he hcc Ic ccnce| c cinner cn him. She i: very ci:cppcinIec
cnc hc: c |iII|e cIIiIuce ncw.
Wi||icm Ihen gce: Ic her p|cce Ic pick her up, c: Ihey hcve p|cn: Ic gc Ic
cinner.
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Cn Ihe wcy Ic hcIIie:, Wi||icm cc||: Ihe ccIcr: vcice mci| numLer. Wi||icm
kncw: IhcI Ihi: ccIcr i: fcnc cf Fcmcn Empire crI piece: {| tn|nk ne :c|c ne
:cw c p|ctu|e |n :cne ncgcz|ne c| tne cctc| |n n|: ncn:|cn. cnc tne|e
we|e c|t p|ece: |n tne ccckg|cunc) cnc Wi||icm hcc :cme mini he|meI
:cu|pIure {c| :cnetn|ng ||ke tnct) fcr :c|e. NcIurc||y he cce:nI ccIuc||y
geI Ihe ccIcr cn Ihe phcne, iI: c vcice mci|, LuI iI i: Ihe ccIcr: vcice cn
Ihe reccrcing. Ihe ccIcr: c::i:IcnI wi|| :creen hi: me::cge:, cnc ce|iver
Ihem Ic Ihe ccIcr, cr reIurn Ihe cc||: fcr Ihe ccIcr. Sc whcI Wi||icm cce: i:,
he |ecve: c me::cge :IcIing IhcI he hc: c Fcmcn crI piece IhcI he Ihink:
Ihe ccIcr mcy Le inIere:Iec in, cnc cffer: Ic fcx c picIure cf Ihe piece if
Ihe ccIcr i: inIere:Iec, cr Ic hcve Ihe ccIcr: c::i:IcnI :Icp Ly Ihe gc||ery.
Wi||icm i: nc cummy, he kncw: IhcI if c rep|y ccme: iI wi|| Le Ic hcve him
fcx Ihe picIure, c: iI i: uicker Ihcn hcving :cmecne phy:icc||y gc Ic Ihe
gc||ery Ic :ee c piece Ihey ccnI kncw if Ihey wcnI yeI.
He geI: Ic hcIIie: hcu:e, Ihen wciI: in:ice, Leccu:e cny hcIIie wcrIh her
fcke LccL: i: never reccy cn Iime, cnc purpc:e|y :eI: hi: ce|| phcne
ccwn. Ihen c: Ihey cre wc|king cuI Ihe cccr, he c:k: hcIIie Ic grcL hi:
ce|| phcne IhcI he |efI in:ice. /: :he i: wc|king Lcck he Ie||: her Ic hiI
recic|, IhcI he Ihink: iI :hcu|c cic| vcice mci| {wn|cn |: t|ue. u:t nct H|S
vc|ce nc||) cnc fcr her Ic |eI him kncw if he hc: cny new me::cge:. Cf
ccur:e Ihe |c:I numLer cic|ec wc: Ihe ccIcr: vcice mci|, :c when hcIIie
reccgnize: Ihe vcice, :he geI: c|| wcrm cnc fuzzy. She c:k: Wi||icm if he
kncw: Ihe ccIcr, he exp|cin: IhcI he wc: ju:I cc||ing Ihe ccIcr Ic :ee if he
wc: inIere:Iec in c piece cf crI, hcIIie c::ume: Ihi: mecn: he DCES kncw
Ihe ccIcr, :c :he: ccmp|eIe|y fcrgcIIen cLcuI ncI gcing Ic IhcI Lcker:
gcme, cnc |cIer IhcI nighI Wi||icm gcI Ic Le Ihe :uL:IiIuIe fcr Ihe ccIcr in
hcIIie: Lec.
Wi||icm p|ec:ec 4 pecp|e, u:ing ecch cf Ihem Ic inf|uence cn cuIccme
IhcI mcce him |cck gccc, wiIhcuI ccIuc||y Leing Ihe :curce cf Iheir gcin.
He cicnI rec||y :ccre Ihe IickeI:: Ihe inf|uence cf Ihe hcIIie cn Ihe
emp|cyee :ccrec Ihem. Wi||icm cicnI rec||y geI Ihe emp|cyee inIc Ihe
pcrIy: Ihe emp|cyee gcI him:e|f in Ly geIIing Ihe IickeI:. Iechnicc||y,
Wi||icm ccu|c Le :een c: Ihe :curce fcr Ihe vcice mci| frienc geIIing inIc
Ihe pcrIy, LuI lve Leen Ic IhcI guy: pcrIie:, iI: ncI hcrc fcr c :Ircnger Ic
:neck in cmcng Ihe crcwc. /nc Ihe hcIIie, we||, iI wc: hecring Ihe ccIcr:
vcice cnc Ihe c::umpIicn IhcI Wi||icm knew him, tnct wc: Ihe :curce cf
her gcin.
Simp|y puI, Wi||icm mcce c hcLiI cf crecIing Ihe i||u:icn cf Leing pcwerfu|,
Ihrcugh Ihe ccnIriLuIicn: cf cIher: IhcI LcughI inIc Ihe i||u:icn IhcI he wc:
mcre Ihcn he rec||y wc:.
lm uiIe ccnficenI IhcI virIuc||y everycne Wi||icm c::ccicIec wiIh, wc:
u:ec Ic inf|uence cr gcin :cmeIhing frcm ecch cf Ihem, :c c: Ic give cnc
receive frcm c|| cf Ihem, cnc never rec||y hcving Ic :ccrifice cnyIhing cf
hi: cwn in Ihe prcce::.
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24



(Cn. cnc |c| tne |ecc|c. | neve| |cunc cut || ne encec up :e|||ng cny c|t tc
tnct cctc|.}

Ncw IhcI ycu hcve cn excmp|e cf cn cLunccnce" ver:icn cf c Fcnzi
/|phc, |eI me :hcre wiIh ycu cn excmp|e cf c ncn-cLunccnce" ver:icn.

Mcrvin wc|kec |ike cn /|phc, he Ic|kec |ike cn /|phc, cnc he inf|uencec
|ike cn /|phc.
/LcuI Ihe cn|y Ihing ncI /|phc cLcuI Mcrvin, wc: IhcI he Iypicc||y :|epI
cn Ihe ccuche: cf vcricu: frienc:. Mcrvin wc: ncI hcme|e::: Iechnicc||y,
he ju:I hcc c prcL|em wiIh :Icying currenI cn renI, :c he wc: evicIec
cfIen.
/LcuI Ihe cn|y ctne| Ihing ncI /|phc cLcuI Mcrvin, wc: IhcI if he cwec
ycu mcney, ycu hcc Ic finc him Ic geI iI, Leccu:e he :ure wc:nI gcing Ic
Ircck ycu ccwn Ic geI ycur mcney Lcck Ic ycu.
When l fir:I meI Mcrvin, l never wcu|c hcve gue::ec IhcI hi: Lec
cepencec cn whc |eI him crc:h cI Iheir hcme IhcI nighI.
Every Iime l :cw him, he hcc cn c :i|k :hirI, cre:: :|cck:, c fcI wcc cf cc:h
wiIh c gc|c c|ip IhcI hcc c Jcmciccn f|cg cn iI, cnc he crcve c Ccci||cc
E:cc|cce.
8uI Ihe IruIh Lehinc Ihe i||u:icn, wc: IhcI Ihe c|cIhe: were Lcrrcwec frcm
c frienc whc hcc Mcrvin Icking hi: c|cIhe: Ic Ihe cry c|ecner: {Ye:. tne
ve|y c|ctne: /c|v|n wcu|c wec| |n:tecc) Ihe rec:cn Mcrvin wc: Icking Ihe
c|cIhe: Ic Ihe cry c|ecner:, wc: IhcI Mcrvin ccnvincec Ihe guy he knew c
p|cce he ccu|c geI checp cry c|ecning ccne, LuI Ihe cwner wcu|c cn|y
give c grecI rcIe if Mcrvin, ncI hi: frienc:. {Wn|cn tu|nec cut tc ce c
ccnp|ete ||e. tne|e wc: nc :ucn c|y c|ecne| tnct ne knew. ne |ec||ty |: n|:
:c-cc||ec c|y c|ecne| |||enc wc: |ec||y u:t /c|v|n u:|ng cne c| tnc:e
c|y c|ecn |n ycu| c|ye| p|ccuct:. cnc pccket|ng tne |e|tcve| cc:n) /: fcr
hi: Ihick rc|| cf mcney, Ihe cc:h wc: rec||y ju:I IhcI c|c Irick cf FuI c $50 cr
$100 Li|| cn Icp, whi|e uncernecIh c|| ycu hcve cre $1 Li||:."
/: fcr Ihe E:cc|cce, IhcI wc: Irue Fcnzi /|phc geniu:l
He hcc c frienc whc wcrkec cI c Ccci||cc Dec|er:hip, whc tncugnt
Mcrvin wc: c very :ucce::fu| rec| e:IcIe cgenI. Mcrvin ccnvincec Ihe guy
IhcI he hcc fi|Ihy rich c|ienI: whc :cmeIime: ccme inIc Icwn, cnc IhcI iI
wc: ec:ier Ic gcin Ihe c|ienI: Iru:I cnc Lui|c rcppcrI if ycu Icck Ihe c|ienI:
Ic :ee hcme: in c ccr IhcI fiI Iheir |ife:Iy|e. Ihe frienc wcu|c |eI Mcrvin u:e
Ihe cec|er: vehic|e" cn Iue:ccy: cnc Wecne:ccy:, c: IhcI wc: Ihe
:|cwe:I ccy: cI Ihe cec|er:hip, :c iI wc: ncI u:ec much cn Ihc:e ccy:. ln
reIurn, Mcrvin wcu|c inIrccuce Ihe frienc Ic :cme cf Ihe |cve|y |ccie: he
knew {Wnc cn|y gcve /c|v|n tne t|ne c| ccy ceccu:e tney tncugnt ne
wc: ||cn cnc wcntec tc ce :een |n cn F:cc|cce)
/ncIher Ihing Mcrvin wcu|c cc, wc: u:e fccc given Ic him Ly cn e|cer|y
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25


wcmcn whc: |cwn he wcu|c cuI, cnc pc:: iI cff c: hi: cwn cnc give iI,
:cy, Ic :cmecne whc |eI him u:e Iheir :hcwer, cr crc:h cn Iheir ccuch.
Cne cf Ihe funnie:I Ihing: he cic, which lm :Ii|| |cughing cLcuI, even c: l
wriIe Ihi:, wc: he cnce wc:hec c frienc: ccr :c Ihe frienc wcu|c |eI him
Lcrrcw Ihe ccr Ic Icke cuI :cme hcIIie. {wnc tncugnt |t wc: /c|v|n': cc|)
wiIh Ihe prcmi:e Ic Lring Ihe hcIIie Ic Ihe frienc: p|cce IhcI nighI cnc
preIenc Ihey cre rccmmcIe:. lI: :c pcIheIic, iI: funny c: he||.
Scc|y, Mcrvin u:ec hi: pcnzi" meIhcc: cn Ihe wrcng per:cn cne ccy,
cnc iI cc:I him cecr|y. He: ncI cecc, ncI IhcI l kncw cf cnywcy, LuI he i:
ccnfinec Ic c whee|chcir fcr Ihe re:I cf hi: |ife.

Cne cIher ncIe cn Ihi: Iype cf /|phc, i: IhcI Ihey c|wcy: hcve cn excu:e if
Ihere i: c ce|cy. 8e iI c ce|cy in pcying Lcck mcney, hcncring c prcmi:e,
whcIever. lI i: ncI unccmmcn fcr Ihem Ic Legin Ihe excu:e wiIh, Check
Ihi: cuI..." cr Ycu reccy fcr Ihi:..."



Ihe A|phony

Cne cf Ihe |crge:I numLer: cf /|phc in Ihe wcr|c, cre whcI l cc|| Ihe
/|phcny." Ihe ncme mecn: Ihey cre cn /|phc IhcI i: Fhcny.
Ihey cfIen u:e Iirec phrc:e: |ike Ycu :nccze, ycu |c:e" cr cny cf c
Ihcu:cnc phrc:e: IhcI cnce upcn c Iime hcc pcwer, LuI hcve Leccme
:c cveru:ec c: Ic Le |cughcL|e Ihe:e ccy:.
Ihey prcjecI cn crrcgcnce cnc c ccnficence IhcI mighI SEEM /|phc, LuI
:cmeIhing cLcuI Ihem ju:I mcke: ycu rc|| ycur eye:. ln cIher wcrc:, Ihey
hcve cn crrcgcnce cnc ccnficence IhcI fci|: Ic in:pire cnc mcIivcIe, cnc
cre uiIe cfIen Ihe cne ycure mccking when wiIh ycur frienc: cnc/cr cc-
wcrker:. Ihey hcve c fc|:e :en:e cf :e|f, cnc cfIen creciI Ihem:e|ve: fcr c
:ucce:: IhcI wc: ccIuc||y c Iecm effcrI.
Ihe /|phcny c|:c hc: Ihe ccc hcLiI cf ccing whcI l cc|| 8ciI Ic|k." Hcve
ycu ever Leen :iIIing wiIh :cmecne, cnc Ihey were reccing c new:pcper
cr c mcgczine, cnc cuI cf Ihe L|ue Ihey :cic :cmeIhing |ike, Hmm, IhcI:
inIere:Iing." 8uI Ihen Ihey ccnI :cy whcI wc: inIere:Iing" un|e:: ycu
c:kec Ihem IhcI: 8ciI Ic|k." Iheyre LciIing" ycu |ike c fi:h Ic LiIe" Ly
c:king Ihem Ic Ie|| ycu mcre. /nc virIuc||y every :ing|e Iime, whcIever i:
inIere:Iing" enc: up Leing :cmeIhing Ihey gc cn cnc cn cLcuI, c: if Ihey
hcve vc:I kncw|ecge cn Ihe :uLjecI. /nc whi|e :hcring kncw|ecge i:
:cmeIhing l :Ircng|y :uppcrI, Ihe /|phcny i: cfIen :hcring mcce up
kncw|ecge, cr Irue kncw|ecge mixec wiIh mcce up kncw|ecge, cr cI
|ec:I :pecu|cIicn mcce Ic :eem |ike kncw|ecge.
8uI Ly fcr, Ihe mc:I unprccucIive c:pecI cf cn /|phcny, i: Iheir neec Ic
Le in chcrge, whi|e hcving |iII|e cr nc re:pecI fcr Ihc:e Ihey cre in chcrge
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26


cf.
/: wiIh Ihe cIher /|phc" Iype: lve c|reccy menIicnec, here i: c rec| |ife
excmp|e.

GcLrie| wc: cn c::i:IcnI mcncger cf c pcpu|cr c|cIhing :Icre. He wc:
ceciccIec Ic Ihe jcL, cnc wcu|c hcppi|y wcrk hi: ccy: cff if cne cf Ihe
cIher c::i:IcnI mcncger: were uncL|e Ic wcrk. GcLrie| knew everycne:
jcL, cnc wc: very gccc cI Ircining new hire: cn Iheir :pecific pc:iIicn.
Ncw, cn Ihe :urfcce, Ihi: wcu|c :cunc |ike c IexI Lcck /|phc, fcr Ihe mc:I
pcrI. Hcwever, GcLrie| hcc cne mcjcr f|cw in hi: /|phc: He IrecIec Ihe
emp|cyee: c: if Ihey were LenecIh him. He wcu|c Iry Ic mcIivcIe Ihem
wiIh whcI he cc||ec Fcwer Ic|k:" LuI Ihi: rcre|y wcrkec given Ihe fccI
IhcI he :pcke Ic Ihe emp|cyee: |ike Ihey were igncrcnI if Ihey c:kec c
ue:Iicn. /cciIicnc||y, he wcu|c :cy Ihe mc:I Iirec phrc:e:, cnc :cy Ihem
c: if he hcc ccme up wiIh Ihem. Fhrc:e: |ike, lf ycu ccn imcgine iI, ycu
ccn cchieve iI" cnc Ihere i: nc 'l in Ihe wcrc 'Iecm.
/nc whi|e Ihere i: ncIhing wrcng wiIh Irying Ic in:pire cnc mcIivcIe
pecp|e, Ihere lS :cmeIhing wrcng wiIh ncI fincing cuI whcI mcIivcIe:
ecch memLer cf ycur Iecm. ln cIher wcrc:, he c::umec c|| Ihe wcrker:
were mcIivcIec Ly ecrning c pcycheck. Hcving IhcI Le|ief, GcLrie| wcu|c
puni:h" wcrker: Ly giving Ihem |e:: wcrk hcur:, cr cec|ining Ihem c
chcnce fcr cverIime.
l hcc |unch wiIh GcLrie| cne ccy, cnc he menIicnec Ihi: Le|ief Ic me,
cnc hcw he wc: cL|e Ic keep hi: emp|cyee: in |ine Ly ccnIrc||ing Iheir
wcrk hcur: cnc cverIime. Ihen l c:kec him Ihe ue:Iicn, Hcw cc ycu
kncw IhcI: hcw Ihey cre Le:I mcIivcIec"
Hi: rep|y wc: :cc, rec||y.
He rep|iec, Everycne: mcIivcIec Ly mcney, cr e|:e we wcu|cnI LcIher
wcrking."
l pcinIec cuI Ic GcLrie| IhcI whi|e we cc wcrk :c c: Ic ecrn mcney, IhcI i:
ncI c|wcy: :cmecne: M/lN mcIivcIicn, ncr i: iI c|wcy: Iheir mcin rec:cn
fcr :Icying cI c jcL.
He :cic, Mc:I cf Ihem ccu|cnI :urvive in cncIher jcL, excepI mcyLe
McDcnc|c:, :c Ihey :Icy Leccu:e Iheyre Ihcnkfu| Ic hcve c jcL."
l c:kec, Sc i: IhcI c|:c Ihe cc:e fcr ycu Ccu|c ycu ncI :urvive cI cny
cIher jcL Dc ycu :Icy Leccu:e ycu're Ihcnkfu| Ic hcve c jcL cI c||"
He :neerec, l ccu|c wcrk wherever l wcnIec Ic."
l wc: curicu:, :c l c:kec him, Sc why :Icy c: cn c::i:IcnI mcncger cf c
c|cIhing :Icre, cnc ncI :cme cIher jcL"
He rep|iec, Ihey pcy me we||, cnc l |ike whcI l cc."
My eye: gcI wice wiIh exciIemenI, Leccu:e l knew l wc: cLcuI Ic :eI him
up. l c:kec, WhcI i: iI cLcuI whcI ycu cc IhcI ycu |ike"
He rep|iec, l |ike Leing cn c::i:IcnI mcncger."
l :cic, IhcI: ncI cn:wering my ue:Iicn. 8eing cn c::i:IcnI mcncger i:
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27


ycur jcL IiI|e. My ue:Iicn i:, whcI i: iI cLcuI Leing cn c::i:IcnI mcncger
IhcI ycu |ike"
He grinnec cnc rep|iec, l geI Ic Le in chcrge."
l |ecnec Lcck cnc chc:e my nexI wcrc: ccrefu||y. Ihen l c:kec, lf c
memLer cf Ihe Lccrc cf inuiry ccme Ic ycur :Icre, cnc :pcke Ic ycur
emp|cyee:, hcw wcu|c ycur emp|cyee: rcIe ycur |eccer:hip cLi|iIy"
He :hruggec, Iheyc prcLcL|y Lcc mcuIh me, cuI cf jec|cu:y."
8cc mcuIh YCU" l :cic wiIh :emi-:crcc:m. Sc if Ihey wcu|c Lcc mcuIh
ycu, hcw cc ycu kncw Ihey wcu|cnI Iry Ic Iecm up cnc geI ycu firec"
He |cckec cI me wiIh :|ighI ccncern. Mike, cc ycu kncw :cmeIhing l
:hcu|c kncw"
l :mi|ec cnc :cic, Ye:. Ycu neec Ic Ic|k Ic ycur emp|cyee: cnc finc cuI
whcI mcIivcIe: ecch cf Ihem. Ihere: nc :uch Ihing c: 'everycne,
GcLrie|. Fecp|e hcve mcIivcIicn: IhcI cre cifferenI. /nc Ihe mcre ycu
kncw Ihc:e cifference:, Ihe ec:ier ycu ccn mcIivcIe ecch cne, cnc |ecc
Ihem in c wcy IhcI re:u|I: in Ihem NCI Lcc mcuIhing ycu cuI cf jec|cu:y.
Jec|cu:y IhcI ycu cre /SSUMlNG, Ly Ihe wcy, :ince ycu cppcrenI|y ccn'I
Ihink high|y encugh cf ycur emp|cyee: Ic c:k Ihem cLcuI Ihem:e|ve:."
GcLrie| gcI Ihi: wcuncec puppy |cck cnc c:kec, Why cre ycu Lu:Iing
my Lc||:"
l rep|iec, 8eccu:e ycu neec iI, GcLe. Ycuve Leccme :c wrcppec up in
Ihe IiI|e cf c::i:IcnI mcncger, cnc :c ccughI up in Leing in chcrge, IhcI
ycure |eccing c Iecm cf pecp|e ycu hcrc|y kncw cnyIhing cLcuI. l
cckncw|ecge ycu fcr Lu:Iing ycur c:: Ic ecrn ycur IiI|e, LuI ccnI fcrgeI
whcI iI fe|I |ike Ic Le Ihe emp|cyee uncer cn c::i:IcnI mcncger."

8uI, GcLrie|: crrcgcnce c|cucec hi: vi:icn, cnc he ju:I cicnI :ee whcI l
wc: Irying Ic Ie|| him. He ccnIinuec Ic ncI finc cuI whcI mcIivcIec ecch
emp|cyee, cnc ccnIinuec Ic mcnipu|cIe Iheir :checu|e Ic keep Ihem in
|ine.
8uI gue:: whcI
/ppcrenI|y GcLrie| hcc Icken hi: crrcgcnce c |iII|e Icc fcr cne ccy, cnc
cc||ec c :Icck c|erk cn icicI. Ihe :Icck c|erk vcicec hi: ci::cIi:fccIicn cI
Leing cc||ec cn icicI, cnc GcLrie| puni:hec" him Ly giving him c |cw
:ccre cn hi: perfcrmcnce review. Ihe :Icck c|erk uiI, cnc c ccup|e cf
ccy: |cIer, ccughI GcLrie| gcing Ic hi: ccr cfIer wcrk, cnc Lrcke hi: nc:e.
/nc Le|ieve iI cr ncI, Ihi: SIlLL cicnI Iecch GcLrie| c |e::cnl ln:Iecc cf
cccepIing cny re:pcn:iLi|iIy fcr hi: ccIicn:, Ihi: c::cu|I ju:I furIher
cemenIec GcLrie|: Le|ief IhcI Ihe emp|cyee: were LenecIh him.

Ihe |c:I l hecrc, GcLrie| wc: :Ii|| :pewing Iirec c|c :cying: c: if Ihey were
hi: cwn, :Ii|| fe|I he wc: cLcve mc:I pecp|e, cnc :Ii|| pi::ing cff wcmen in
c|uL: c|| ccrc:: Cc|ifcrnic cnc Nevccc.

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28




8u||d|ng on A|pho Fersono||ty, Fort One


Sc given c|| IhcI l hcve :hcrec wiIh ycu :c fcr, ycu mighI Le c:king
ycur:e|f, Sc hcw cc l kncw whcI my /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy rec||y i:"

Exce||enI ue:Iicn, ycu :hcu|c Le prcuc cf ycur:e|f fcr c:king iIl

Ic geI :IcrIec cn Lui|cing ycur /|phc per:cnc|iIy, l high|y, High|y, HlGHLY,
:ugge:I IhcI ycu geI c jcurnc|. GeI c jcurnc| cnc CNLY u:e iI fcr Ihing:
ccnnecIec Ic ycur exerci:e: cnc experience: ccnnecIec Ic Ihi: Lcck.
Nct c Ihree-ring cr :pirc| Lincer, c jcurnc|. Ihe Ihree-ring Lincer: ccn
ccu:e Ihe pcge: Ic Iecr cr ccme |cc:e cver Iime, cnc ycu ccnI wcnI c
|cc:e |ife, cc ycu
Fcr ncw Ihcugh, if ycu ccnI c|reccy hcve c jcurnc|, gc checc cnc u:e
Ihe Lincer, cr :cme incex ccrc:, cnc Ircn:fer Ihe infcrmcIicn cver Ic ycur
jcurnc| cnce ycu geI iI.
Iru:I me, Ihi: jcurnc| i: gcing Ic Le cne cf Ihe mc:I pcwerfu| Ihing: ycu wi||
ever cwn, prcvicec ycu u:e iI c: l :ugge:I.

Mcving cn...

Kncwing whcI ycur /|phc per:cnc|iIy rec||y i:, reuire: ycu |cck cI Ihe
gccc" cnc Lcc" hcLiI: IhcI ycu :ee in ycur:e|f. l puI Ihc:e wcrc: in
ucIcIicn mcrk:, Leccu:e Ihe Ierm: gccc" cnc Lcc" cre :uLjecIive,
mecning, whcI wcu|c Le c gccc" Ihing in cne cc:e, mighI Le viewec c:
Lcc" in c cifferenI cc:e. WhcI wcu|c Le gccc" in cne per:cn: cpinicn,
mighI Le Lcc" in cncIher per:cn': cpinicn. 8e:ice:, Ihi: i:nI cn eIhic:
c|c::.
Sc fcr ncw, :imp|y :epcrcIe Ihem c: gccc cr Lcc Lc:ec cn hcw ycu
currenI|y :ee Ihem. Ycure ncI here Ic mcke cny cpc|cgie:, :c Ihere: nc
rec:cn Ic fee| gui|Iy cr c:hcmec if ycu cc Lcc" Ihing:. Ihere cre nc
wrcng" cn:wer:. Simp|y give Ihe cn:wer IhcI genuine|y fiI: hcw ycu
wcu|c currenI|y reccI/Lehcve. Ihe mcre hcne:I ycu cn:wer ycur:e|f, Ihe
mcre pcwerfu| ycure gcing Ic Le cL|e Ic Lui|c Ihe /|phc wiIhin ycu.

LeI: geI :IcrIecl

WriIe Ihe fc||cwing ue:Iicn: ccwn in ycur jcurnc|. Cr, Ic mcke iI uick
cnc :imp|e, in ycur jcurnc| :imp|y wriIe /.F. 1:1" fcr /|phc per:cnc|iIy
pcrI cne, ue:Iicn cne" /.F. 1:2" fcr /|phc per:cnc|iIy pcrI cne,
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ue:Iicn Iwc" cnc :c cn, fc||cwec Ly ycu cn:wer cfIer ecch cf Ihem.

QbESIION ONE:
lf ycu :ee c $5 Li|| cn Ihe grcunc, cnc Ihere: nc cne ycu ccn :ee whc
crcppec iI, wcu|c ycu:
/) Fee| iI wc: fincer: keeper:" cnc puI iI in ycur pcckeI.
8) Fc:: Ly wiIhcuI picking iI up.
C) Dc :cmeIhing e|:e {whcI: Ihe :cmeIhing e|:e" ycu wcu|c cc)

QbESIION IWO:
lf ycu :ee c penny cn Ihe grcunc, cnc Ihere: nc cne ycu ccn :ee whc
crcppec iI, wcu|c ycu:
/) Fee| iI wc: fincer: keeper:" cnc puI iI in ycur pcckeI.
8) Fc:: Ly wiIhcuI picking iI up.
C)Dc :cmeIhing e|:e. {whcI: Ihe :cmeIhing e|:e" ycu wcu|c cc)

QbESIION IHkEE:
lf ycu :cw :cmecne ycu fcunc cIIrccIive, cccicenIc||y |ecve Iheir
:ung|c::e: cn Ihe IcL|e Ihey were :iIIing cI, wcu|c ycu |eI Ihem kncw

lf ye:" Ihen which wcu|c Le ycur rec:cn fcr IhcI
/) 8eccu:e ycuc wcnI Ic u:e iI c: c wcy Ic geI Ic Ic|k Ic Ihem
8) 8eccu:e ycuc wcnI :cmecne Ic cc Ihe :cme Ihing fcr ycu.
C) 8eccu:e Ihe :ung|c::e: |cck expen:ive.
D) Scme cIher rec:cn. {ceIci| whcI IhcI cIher rec:cn i:)

lf nc" Ihen which wcu|c Le ycur rec:cn fcr IhcI
/) 8eccu:e pecp|e |ike IhcI never give me Ihe Iime cf ccy, :c l |ike :eeing
tnen |cck :Iupic fcr c chcnge.
8) 8eccu:e Ihey wcu|cnI cpprecicIe iI cnywcy.
C) 8eccu:e Ihe :ung|c::e: |cck expen:ive, :c l|| keep Ihem, cr give Ihem
Ic :cmecne.
D) Scme cIher rec:cn. {ceIci| whcI IhcI cIher rec:cn i:)

QbESIION FObk:
lf ycu were cI c Lcck:Icre cnc fcunc c Lcck ycu rec||y wcnIec, LuI c:
ycu pickec iI up, cn e|cer|y per:cn :ighec, ch, gee, l wc: |ccking fcr IhcI
Lcck Icc." Which wcu|c ycu cc
/) Give Ihem Ihe Lcck cnc c:k c :c|e: per:cn if Ihey hcc mcre ccpie: cr
if Ihey ccu|c crcer c ccpy fcr ycu.
8) Simp|y wc|k cwcy wiIh Ihe Lcck.
C) Keep Ihe Lcck, cnc :ugge:I IhcI Ihe e|cer|y per:cn check wiIh c :c|e:
per:cn Ic :ee if Ihey hcve mcre ccpie:.
D) ScmeIhing e|:e {ceIci| whcI :cmeIhing e|:e" ycu wcu|c cc)
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QbESIION FIVE:
Ycu cre cI c c|cIhing :Icre, |ccking fcr Ihree new pcir: cf pcnI:. / :c|e:
per:cn he|p: ycu finc Ihe :Iy|e: ycure |ccking fcr, LuI c|:c :ugge:I: IhcI
ycu wcu|c |cck gccc in c :Iy|e cf pcnI: Ihey pickec cuI. Ihe :ugge:Iec
:Iy|e i: Ihe :cme price c: Ihe :Iy|e ycu c|reccy |ike. WhcI wcu|c ycu cc
/) Iry Ihe :ugge:Iec :Iy|e cf pcnI: cn, cnc if ycu |ikec hcw Ihe pcnI:
|cckec, ycuc Luy Ihem.
8) Dec|ine wiIhcuI even Irying Ihe :ugge:Iec :Iy|e cf pcnI: cn.
C) lf Ihe :c|e: per:cn wc: hcI |ccking, l mighI Luy Ihem even if l cicnI |ike
hcw Ihey |cckec cn me.
D) ScmeIhing e|:e {ceIci| whcI :cmeIhing e|:e" ycu wcu|c cc)


QbESIION SIX:
Ycu |ike Ic cc||ecI :cmeIhing IhcI ycu rec||y enjcy {ccmic Lcck:, cercmic
cnge|:, LcII|e ccp:, whcIever) Hcw cc ycu reccI when :cmecne ycure
rcmcnIicc||y inIere:Iec in, finc: cuI
/) l mcke nc cpc|cgie: fcr iI.
8) l wcrry whcI Ihey Ihink cf me Leccu:e cf iI, cnc mcke fun cf my:e|f Ic
Ihem
C) lf Ihey :cy :cmeIhing cemecning cr in:u|Iing cLcuI iI, l :Icp cc||ecIing.
D) lf Ihey :cy :cmeIhing cemecning cr in:u|Iing cLcuI iI, l :Icp Leing
rcmcnIicc||y inIere:Iec in Ihem.
E) l reccI c cifferenI wcy {ceIci| hcw ycu reccI c cifferenI wcy)

QbESIION SEVEN

Ycu meeI :cmecne whc: cpinicn mcIIer: Ic ycu. When Ihey c:k ycu
cLcuI ycur:e|f, ycu:
/) Ie|| Ihem Ihe enIire IruIh.
8) Ie|| Ihem mc:I cf Ihe IruIh, LuI c|:c mcke up :cme :Iuff Ic impre::
Ihem.
C) /vcic cn:wering Ihe ue:Iicn: Ly Leing vcgue cnc chcnging Ihe
:uLjecI.
D) Ie|| Ihem Ihe IruIh cn Ihing: lm ccmfcrIcL|e wiIh, LuI cvcic Ihe
ue:Iicn cr Leccme vcgue cn Ihing: lm emLcrrc::ec cr in:ecure
cLcuI.
E) Scme cIher cn:wer {ceIci| whcI IhcI cIher cn:wer i:)

Ckcy, were ccne wiIh pcrI cne.
FememLer, Ihere were nc wrcng" cn:wer:, ju:I cn:wer: IhcI cccurcIe|y
ref|ecI whc cnc hcw ycu cre. 8y Ihe Iime ycu fini:h c|| Ihe 8ui|cing cn
/|phc Fer:cnc|iIy" pcrI:, Ihe:e ue:Iicn: cnc exerci:e: cre gcing Ic
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empcwer ycu in wcy: ycu mighI ncI hcve rec|izec. F|u:, ycu|| :ee IhcI
whcI ycu tncugnt were Lcc" mighI ccIuc||y Le gccc" pcrI: cf ycu, c:
we|| c: chcnging cr enhcncing Ihe gccc" :c ycu ccn free|y Le c |iII|e
Lcc." {|t'|| c|| ncke pe||ect :en:e wnen we'|e ccne. t|u:t ycu|:e||)








































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Ihe Chopter Ihot W||| Chonge Your
8e||e| obout 8e||e|s





Ihe |eve| cf /|phc ycu cwcken wiIhin ycur:e|f, wi|| Le in cirecI prcpcrIicn
Ic Ihe Le|ief: IhcI ycu hcve cccut ycur:e|f cnc cLcuI Ihe wcr|c crcunc
ycu.
Fecc IhcI cgcin....cuI |cuc...cnc rec||y |eI Ihe wcrc: :ink in.
WhcI ycu Le|ieve IhcI ycu Le|ievec, i: cLcuI Ic Le chongedI

Ihi: chcpIer i: Ihe mc::-:pecIcgrcphic, ucnIum nuc|ecr, rec|iIy LcmL
IhcI wi|| L|cw cwcy c|| IhcI cru:Iy gunk IhcI hc: Leen L|ccking ycur /|phc
frcm Leing un|ec:hec.
lI i: uiIe |cng, cnc iI i: uiIe ceIci|ec, LuI iI i: c|:c uiIe e::enIic|, in my
cpinicn, :c IhcI ycu hcve Ihe kncw|ecge IhcI wi|| empcwer Ihe /|phc ycu
wi|| Leccme. /fIer ycu fini:hing reccing Ihi: chcpIer, ycu wi|| |ike|y cgree.

Ihe Ircn:fcrmcIicn wi|| ccme, Le pcIienI. /nc uncer:Icnc IhcI ju:I c: ycu
cic ncI geI Ic where ycu cre righI ncw cvernighI, Ihe LenefiI: frcm Ihi:
chcpIer mighI ncI chcnge ycu wiIh cn|y cne reccing.

lI: c|| up Ic ycu Ic Le cpen Ic new Ihinking, cnc c||cwing ycur:e|f Ic
ue:Iicn ycur currenI Le|ief:. Even Le|ief: IhcI ycu hc|c cnIc :Ircng|y.
Which wi|| Le cn|y c: cifficu|I c: Ihe |eve| cf ycur wi||ingne:: Ic Iry.
Scme pecp|e ccn Le pre:enIec wiIh Ihe mc:I irrefuIcL|e prccf cgcin:I
Iheir currenI Le|ief cnc Lehcvicr, yeI Ihey wi|| fighI iI, Ihey wi|| refu:e Ic
cccepI iI. /nc Ihe rec:cn Ihey wi|| cc IhcI, i: Leccu:e cn :cme |eve| Ihey
cre :ccrec Ic. We c|| wcnI cur Le|ief: Ic :erve u:, Ic Le righI, :c iI ccn Le
c cifficu|I Ihing Ic ccmiI Ic ycur:e|f IhcI c Le|ief IhcI ycuve hcc fcr mcny
yecr: i: ncI Irue. Hcwever, :ince ycure cLvicu:|y reccing Ihi: Lcck, l
wcu|c c::ume IhcI ycu were wi||ing Ic Le cpen Ic new Ihing:, new
infcrmcIicn, cnc c: c re:u|I, new Le|ief:.
/nc if IhcI i: Irue, Ihen perhcp: ycu|| cc ju:I fine.
NcIhing wi|| Le mcre Ircgic Ihcn Ic inve:I Ihe Iime Ic recc Ihi: enIire Lcck,
cn|y Ic re:i:I cnc fighI Ihe infcrmcIicn.

Ihere cre even phcLic: perIcining Ic Ihi:.

Fecr cf new Ihing: cr icec: i: cc||ec CencphcLic, cr CenIcphcLic.
Fecr cf newne:: i: cc||ec KcincphcLic
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Fecr cf cnyIhing new i: cc||ec NecphcLic
/nc fecr cf hecring gccc new: i: cc||ec EuphcLic.

8uI iI :eem: Ic me IhcI if ycu :ufferec frcm Ihe:e phcLic:, ycu wcu|cnI
Le reccing Ihi: Lcck in Ihe fir:I p|cce. {Un|e:: |t wc: tc ||nc CNF tn|ng tc
c|:cg|ee w|tn. cnc u:e tnct c: vc||cct|cn |c| wny tne wnc|e ccck |: w|cng
c| nct |c| ycu. |u:t ne. |'ve cctuc||y tc|kec tc c guy wnc wc: HA ccc.)

8uI l cigre::...

8e|ief:, cepencing cn Ihe |eve| cf pcwer ycu give Ic Ihem, cre cirecI|y
ccnnecIec Ic hcw ycu :ee ycur:e|f.
8uI ycu c|reccy Le|ieve tnct, righI
lI ccn :cmeIime: Le :ccry Ic |eI gc cf c Le|ief, cr chcnge c Le|ief, if IhcI
Le|ief hc: pcwer fcr ycu.
NcIice IhcI l :cic |c| ycu, ncI tc ycu.
l :cic iI IhcI wcy Leccu:e iI :ymLc|ize: c pcwer ycu ncve, ncI c pcwer
ycu cc||cw. ln cIher wcrc:, Ihe :Ircng fee|ing: ycu hcve in regcrc Ic IhcI
Le|ief cre ccming frcm in:ice cf ycu, Ihey cre ncI ccming frcm :cme
Le|ief mcchine" IhcI i: :hccIing Ihe pcwer Ic ycu. /: :uch, ycu hcve c
|iIerc||y per:cnc| ccnnecIicn Ic IhcI Le|ief, :c ycu mighI ncI Le very wi||ing
Ic chcnge iI cr |eI iI gc.

Fcr excmp|e.

LeI u: :cy IhcI /ncy fe|| in |cve wiIh 8eIIy {C| Ang|e |e|| |n |cve w|tn 8etty.
c| 8|cc |e|| |n |cve w|tn Ancy. || tnct ve|:|cn cette| |e|cte: tc ycu)
/ncy cnc 8eIIy fc|| in |cve, cnc :cme pericc cf Iime |cIer, cne cf Ihem
enc: Ihe re|cIicn:hip. Cne enc: iI, Ihe cIher wc: ncI reccy Ic enc iI. Fcr
:imp|iciIy, |eI: mcke /ncy Ihe cne whc encec Ihe re|cIicn:hip.
8eIIy cce: ncI wcnI Ic Le|ieve IhcI /ncy nc |cnger wcnI: c re|cIicn:hip
wiIh her, :c :he cce: Ihing: Ic Iry cnc geI Ihe re|cIicn:hip gcing cgcin.
Ncne cf iI wcrk:, /ncy hc: mcvec cn wiIh hi: |ife, :c 8eIIy cecice: Ic c:
we||.
Ihe mcnIh: gc Ly, cnc 8eIIy ccIe: frcm Iime Ic Iime, LuI preIIy much cn|y
gce: cuI wiIh frienc: cr enjcy: Iime Ly her:e|f. She hc: Icken /ncy:
picIure cff Ihe wc||, cnc hc: receccrcIec her hcme :c IhcI iI |cck: very
cifferenI Ihcn iI cic when :he wc: wiIh /ncy.
8y c|| cppecrcnce:, iI :eem: c: if 8eIIy hc: chc:en Ic Le cn incepencenI
cnc free wcmcn, cnc enjcy her:e|f, in:Iecc cf Leing Iiec ccwn Ic
cncIher re|cIicn:hip.
Hcwever...
Unkncwn Ic even her c|c:e:I frienc, Ihe rec:cn why 8eIIy i: ncI in cncIher
re|cIicn:hip, i: Leccu:e Ihe mcmenI :he cce:, :he hc: Ic cccepI IhcI her
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re|cIicn:hip wiIh /ncy i: rec||y cver. /nc :he: ncI reccy Ic Le|ieve IhcI.
Ihe Le|ief hc: pcwer |c| her, cnc :he cce: ncI wcnI IhcI pcwer Ic gc
cwcy.

Sc Icke c very :ericu: |cck cI ycur cwn Le|ief:, c: mcny cf Ihem c: ycu
ccn, cnc Le hcne:I encugh Ic reccgnize Ihe cne: IhcI hcve pcwer |c|
ycu.
8eccu:e tnc:e cre Ihe cne: IhcI wi|| Le chc||engec Ihe mc:I here.

Ckcy, lve :penI encugh Iime priming ycu fcr Ihi: chcpIer. lI: Iime Ic geI
Ic Ihe chc||enging cnc Ihe chcngingl


Humcn: hcve Leen crcunc fcr c very, very, |cng Iime. /nc frcm IhcI
Leginning, Ic Ihi: pre:enI, Ihere hcve Leen Le|ief: cnc cpinicn: IhcI hcve
:hcpec cu|Iure:, civi|izcIicn:, cnc :ccieIie:. Scme cf Ihem hcve Leen
emLrccec c: Irue wcr|cwice, :cme hcve Leccme cn|y Irue Lc:ec cn
gecgrcphic |cccIicn, cnc :cme cre he|c Irue Ly ju:I grcup:. Scme Le|ief:
hcve remcinec Irue Ihrcugh Ihe cenIurie:, :cme hcve evc|vec, whi|e
:cme hcve |cng :ince Leen cLcnccnec cnc fcrgcIIen.
/nc Ihe inIere:Iing Ihing cLcuI mccern Iime: i:, IhcI whi|e / cnc 8 :ccieIy
cgree: cn cerIcin Ihing: Leing Irue, Ihe:e :cme :ccieIie: c|:c ci:cgree cn
:cme Le|ief:.
Fcr excmp|e: ln Ihe Micc|e Ec:I, wcmen cre infericr Ic men cnc mu:I
never :peck up cr ccI in cny wcy c: Ic :ugge:I Leing c mcn: euc|. Ic
cc cIherwi:e i: puni:hcL|e Ly cecIh.
ln Jcpcn, whi|e wcmen cre c|:c ccn:icerec infericr Ic men, Ihey cre ncI
puI Ic cecIh fcr :pecking Iheir minc. Hcwever, c wcmcn in Jcpcn i:
rcre|y, if ever, in c pc:iIicn cf mcking mcre mcney Ihcn her Hu:Lcnc, cnc
unIi| very recenI|y wc: ncI c||cwec Ic ecI unIi| cfIer her hu:Lcnc hcc
ecIen, cnc i: c|mc:I c|wcy: c:Irccizec Ly her fcmi|y if :he mcrrie: c mcn
IhcI i: ncI Jcpcne:e.
ln /mericc, whi|e wcmen cre generc||y ccn:icerec euc| Ic men, cnc cc
ncI hcve Ic wciI fcr Iheir hu:Lcnc Ic ecI fir:I, cnc mcny cf Ihem mcke
mcre mcney Ihcn Iheir hu:Lcnc:, cnc mc:I cre ncI c:Irccizec Ly Iheir
fcmi|ie: fcr Ihe :kin cc|cr cf Iheir :pcu:e, Ihere cre :Ii|| excmp|e: cf c
wcmcn mcking |e:: mcney Ihcn c mcn in Ihe exccI :cme jcL. Sc ycu :ee,
whi|e Ihe:e Ihree cu|Iure: c|| emLrcce cn :cme |eve| Ihe :cme Le|ief {IhcI
c mcn i: :upericr Ic c wcmcn) Ihey ccnf|icI cn whcI i: cnc i: ncI
cccepIcL|e cf c wcmcn Ic cc, Le, cnc hcve.
Which cf Ihe:e cu|Iure: i: ccrrecI Which cf Ihem hc: Ihe righI Le|ief:
Ihe cn:wer i: /LL cf Ihem, yeI NCNE cf Ihem.
WiIh ecch cf Ihe:e cu|Iure:, c: wiIh every cu|Iure, :ccieIy, cnc :ecI, c
Le|ief i: cn|y c: righI c: Ihe |eve| cf iI: cccepIcnce. Fcr every Le|ief, Ihere
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cre ju:IificcIicn: |c| Ihem cnc crgumenI: cgc|n:t Ihem. /nc whi|e iI i:
wcr|c|y Le|ievec IhcI c mcn ccn ncI f|y |ike Supermcn, IhcI Le|ief enc:
Ihe mcmenI :cmecne ccIuc||y cce: iI. Much |ike iI wc: Le|ievec fcr
:everc| cenIurie: IhcI c humcn Leing ccu|c never run c mi|e in |e:: Ihcn 5
minuIe:. During Greek gcme:, runner: even wenI :c fcr c: Ic hcve riL:
remcvec, in cn effcrI Ic |e::en Lccy weighI cnc increc:e :peec. 8uI ncne
:ucceecec, ncI c cne. 8uI Ihen c genI|emcn in 154, c 8riIi:h mecicc|
:IucenI ncmec Fcger 8cnni:Ier, rcn Ihe mi|e in uncer 4 minuIe:l WiIhin c
yecr, cLcuI 100 cIher pecp|e cic Ihe :cme Ihing. /|| iI Icck, wc: IhcI cne
IruIh, IhcI prccf, cnc Ihe c|c Le|ief wc: :hcIIerec fcrever.

Ihe :cme i: Irue regcrcing Ihe Le|ief IhcI Ihe ecrIh wc: f|cI, cnc IhcI
cnycne :ci|ing Ihe ccecn fcr encugh, wcu|c evenIuc||y fc|| cff Ihe ecge.
Ihen Chri:Icpher Cc|umLu: mcce IhcI hi:Icric vcycge Ic prcve Ihe ecrIh
wc: circu|cr {:cne :cy |cunc ctne|: :cy egg :ncpec cctn c| wn|cn
|c||: unce| tne t|t|e c| c||cu|c|.)

Hi:Icry i: :cIurcIec wiIh Le|ief: cf ye:Ierccy, which Icccy cre viewec c:
ricicu|cu:, |cughcL|e, cnc mcy :eem hcrc Ic cccepI c: ever hcving Leen
Le|ievec cI c||.
Fcr excmp|e, Ihe SerL: Le|ievec IhcI if :cmecne hcc rec hcir iI wc: cn
inciccIicn IhcI Ihe per:cn wc: c vcmpire. /nc whi|e l hcve experiencec
rec hcirec wcmen whc hcc remcrkcL|e :ucking cLi|iIy, l wcu|c ncI gc :c
fcr c: Ic cc|| cny cf Ihem c vcmpire.
/nc Ihe 12 wiIch Iric|: in Sc|em, Mc::cchu:eII:, were Lcrne in pcrI frcm
Ihe imcgincIicn: cnc c|cim: cf :cme ycung gir|:. /nc Ihe ccu|I:
Ihem:e|ve: hcc c preIIy unu:uc| imcgincIicn c: we||, when iI ccme Ic
ceIermining whc wc: c wiIch cr ncI. Cne wcmcn wc: Le|ievec c wiIch
Leccu:e Ihe genI|emcn :he :cc|cec, fcr c||cwing hi: pig Ic rccI in her
gcrcen, ciec. {cccy we cc|| tnct c nec|t cttcck.} /nc cncIher wcmcn
wc: Le|ievec c wiIch Leccu:e wiIne::e:" c|cimec :eeing her
ccpIivcIing c mcn {kncwn tcccy c: :t|nu|ct|ng ccnve|:ct|cn.} Ihi:
ccpIivcIicn" wc: :een Ly Ihe pecp|e cf Sc|em c: Leing c :pe|| cc:I upcn
Ihe un:u:pecIing mcn. Gcc cn|y kncw: whcI Ihey wcu|c hcve ccne Ic
Mc:Ier l||u:icni:I, Dcvic Ccpperfie|c, if he hcc vcni:hec Ihe Hcu:e cf Ihe
Seven GcL|e: Lcck in IhcI Iime pericc.

McIhemcIic: i: ncw viewec c: c :cience, cnc i: u:ec Ly preIIy much
every humcn Leing cn Ihe p|cneI. 8uI ncI Icc fcr inIc Ihe pc:I,
McIhemcIic: wc: ccn:icerec :cmeIhing cn|y :crcerer: cnc Ihe cccu|I
u:ec. lI wc: c :Ircnge mcgic" Lcck Ihen, cnc wc: pcrI cf c re|igicn" in
Greek :ccieIy. Scme McIhemcIicicn: Le|ievec IhcI everyIhing invc|vec
cn|y pc:iIive numLer: {2,4,,8, eIc). 8uI Ihen :cme reLe|" grcup ccme
c|cng cnc u:ec Ihi: wccky Ihing cc||ec :uLIrccIicn" Ic crecIe negcIive
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numLer: {1,3,5,7, eIc), which Ihey fe|I wc: Ihe Irue wcy cf Ihing:. 8cc
ncme: were exchcngec LeIween Ihe Iwc grcup:, Ihen c fccc fighI l
wcu|c gue::, cnc cf ccur:e wcr. Ihen cfIer :cme pecp|e nc ccuLI gcI
Iheir fee|ing: hurI cr :cmeIhing, :cmecne ccme c|cng cnc :hcwec IhcI
LcIh Ihe pc:iIive cnc Ihe negcIive numLer: ccu|c ccIuc||y Le u:ec
IcgeIher, cnc iI Leccme :cmeIhing cc||ec c|geLrc." {Wn|cn | u:ec tc
|ee| wc: c|ectec |c| tne :c|e pu|pc:e c| nck|ng ny 8tn g|cce yec| c
pu|e ne||)

Sc, ju:I c: :Ircng|y he|c Le|ief: cf ye:Ierccy hcve :ince Leen cLcnccnec
cr prcven fc|:e, :c Icc i: iI Irue IhcI ycu mcy Le hc|cing cnIc Le|ief: IhcI
cre in fccI eiIher ncI Irue, cr cre fcr cifferenI Ihcn ycu Le|ieve.
8uI Fc|ec|iIhic mcn wc: nc mcre righI cr wrcng in Iheir Le|ief: Ihcn ycu
cre in ycur:. IhcI mcy :cunc |ike c ccnIrccicIicn Ic my previcu:
:IcIemenI, LuI iI i: ncI.
Ycu ncv|ng c Le|ief i: ncI wrcng cr inccrrecI. 8uI whcI Ihe Le|ief i: |n mcy
Le f|cwec cr fc|:e. lI i: ncI Ihe :ucect IhcI i: wrcng, iI i: whcI i: cccepIec
cr rejecIec cccut Ihe :uLjecI IhcI i: wrcng.
l|| e|cLcrcIe.
Ihe mc:I high prcfi|e excmp|e Ic exp|cin my pcinI, i: Ihe :uLjecI cf cu|I:.
WiIhin c cu|I, Ihere cre pecp|e whc hcve Le|ief: cf whcI i: Irue cr ncI Irue,
whcI i: rec| cr ncI rec|, whcI i: c::i:Iing Iheir |ive: cnc whcI i: hincering iI.
/nc, wiIhcuI excepIicn, Ihe:e Le|ief: wiIhin Ihe cu|I hcve mcny ccnf|icI:
wiIh Le|ief: cuI:ice cf IhcI cu|I. / cu|I mcy hcve c Le|ief IhcI keeping
mcney cf cny cmcunI i: evi|, whi|e pecp|e cuI:ice cf IhcI cu|I mcy hcve c
Le|ief IhcI mcney i: Ihe key Ic Irue hcppine::, cnc pecp|e wiIhin c
:epcrcIe cu|I mcy hcve c Le|ief IhcI mcney i: ncI evi| LuI i: :imp|y ncI
reuirec cI c|| in Iheir |ife. /|| Ihree :ice: cre ncv|ng c Le|ief regcrcing
mcney. 8uI Ihe Le|ief |n mcney i: whcI Ihey ccnf|icI cn. Cne Le|ieve:
mcney mecn: ccmncIicn, cne Le|ieve: mcney i: :cvicr, cnc Ihe Ihirc
Le|ieve: mcney :erve: neiIher gccc ncr evi| purpc:e. Ihey :hcre c Le|ief
IhcI mcney exi:I:, LuI Ihey ciffer cn whcI mcney mecn: in Iheir |ife.
Ihe :cme i: Irue cLcuI :ex. Scme pecp|e Le|ieve c|| :ex i: evi|, :cme
Le|ieve :ex i: Ihe key Ic Irue hcppine::, :cme Le|ieve :ex i: impcrIcnI LuI
ncI viIc| in Iheir |ife, cnc :cme Le|ieve IhcI :ex i: :cmeIhing Ihey hcve nc
neec fcr. Ihey cre c|| ccrrecI, yeI cepencing cn ycur per:cnc| Le|ief Ihey
mighI c|| Le fc|:e c: we||.
Hcving c Le|ief i: |ike hcving cn cpinicn, iI ccn ncI Le wrcng Leccu:e iI i:
ycur per:cnc| cccepIcnce cr rejecIicn cf :cmeIhing. Ic :cy ycur Le|ief i:
wrcng wcu|c Le c: ricicu|cu: c: :cying ycure |ying cLcuI ycur fcvcriIe
cc|cr. Ecch cf u: |ike: cr ci:|ike: Ihing: Lc:ec cn cur cwn per:cnc| :eI cf
rec:cn:.
Which exp|cin: why mcny cf u: hcve phcLic:, whi|e mcny cf u: cc ncI.
Scmecne whc hc:, |eI: :cy, CrniIhcphcLic, Ihe fecr cf Lirc:, mcy Le ju:I
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|ike ycu in every cIher wcy c:ice frcm Ihi: phcLic. Sc frcm ycur
per:pecIive c fecr cf Lirc: mcy :eem ricicu|cu:, LuI Ic Ihem iI i: very rec|,
cnc c very :ericu: mcIIer.
l mu:I :IcIe Ihcugh IhcI every phcLic, regcrc|e:: cf hcw mi|c cr mcjcr iI
mcy Le Ic Ihe per:cn wiIh iI, ccn Le curec."
{| put tnct |n pc|entne:|:. ceccu:e | u:e tne wc|c tc necn |t nc |cnge|
ceccne: c p|cc|en. |n:tecc c| |np|y|ng |t |: |c|eve| e||n|nctec. Ycu :ee.
pncc|c: c|e nct tne :cne c: |ec|nec cencv|c|:. Ycu |c|||ng c|| c tcc|e ct
2 yec|: c|c. n|tt|ng tne g|een cc|pet. cnc g|cw|ng up w|tn cn cve|:|cn tc
tne cc|c| g|een. |: nct c pncc|c. |t': c |ec|nec cencv|c|. Fncc|c: cn tne
ctne| ncnc. c|e c|nc:t c|wcy: w|tncut cn event |n |||e tnct c|ectec |t.
Scne wcu|c :cy tnct | cn w|cng. cut. cgc|n. tnct |: tne|| ce||e| tc ncve)

8uI l cigre::..

/||cw me Ic :hcre Ihi: memcry wiIh ycu, c: iI wi|| :erve ycu |cIer, in
uncer:Icncing Le|ief:, cnc hcw Ic LeIIer :e|ecI which cne: ycu wcnI Ic
hc|c cnIc.
/ ccup|e cf yecr: cgc l cic c ccn:u|IcIicn wiIh c cuce whcm l|| cc||
Vince. He hcc Iriec every Lcck, Icpe, cnc :emincr cn :ecucIicn cnc
geIIing wcmen inIc Lec, which inc|ucec my very fir:I Lcck 8i:hcp:
Jcurnc|" (Ycu ccn ||ke|y ||nc cn |||egc| ccpy |c| :c|e cn cn cuct|cn wec
:|te. cut :cve ycu| ncney. c: |t': ncw c: cc:c|ete tc ny ccck ne F||e c|
Secuct|cn c: Fcng |: cc:c|ete tc Scny F|cy:tct|cn 3}
Vince wc: uncL|e Ic Iry even Ihe :imp|e:I cf exerci:e: wiIh Ihe kinc cf
wcmen he rec||y wcnIec. Sc he hirec me fcr c cne-cn-cne ccn:u|IcIicn,
c|ciming IhcI Ihe mcIerie| ju:I cce:nI :eem Ic wcrk. During Ihe pre-
ccn:u|I phcne ccnver:cIicn {wn|cn | cc tc cette| unce|:tcnc wnct tne
pe|:cn neec: ne|p w|tn. :c tnct cy tne t|ne we c|e |cce-tc-|cce. we ccn
u:e cu| t|ne :c|e|y cn |np|cv|ng. |n:tecc c| c cuncn c| C&A.) he
revec|ec Ic me IhcI he :ufferec frcm Venu:IrcphcLic: Ihe fecr cf
LecuIifu| wcmen. lI wc: ncI c mi|c cc:e eiIher. He Leccme c :hcking,
:wecIy me:: ju:I tc|k|ng cLcuI LecuIifu| wcmen. l genuine|y IhcughI fcr c
mcmenI IhcI he wc: gcing Ic hcve c hecrI cIIcck. lf cn cuI:icer hcc
wcncerec Ly, Ihey mighI hcve IhcughI Ihe genI|emcn wc: eiIher ccming
ccwn frcm :cme wickec crug: cr hcc hiImen cn hi: Irci|. lI wc: uiIe
cLvicu: IhcI Lefcre l cic cnyIhing e|:e, l mu:I fir:I cIIenc Ic Ihi: Vince:
phcLic cnc give iI fu|| :ericu:ne:: cnc re:pecI.
Since he Leccme :c emcIicnc||y cnc phy:icc||y re:pcn:ive Ly :imp|y
Ic|king cLcuI LecuIifu| wcmen, l knew he wc: mcking vi:uc| imcge: cf c
LecuIifu| wcmcn in hi: minc c: he :pcke. He ccnfirmec Ihi: wc: Irue. Ihi:
:eemec |ike Ihe :eccnc Le:I p|cce Ic Legin he|ping him cverccme Ihi:
phcLic. Ihe |||:t Le:I p|cce, wc: Ic finc cuI whcI he ccn:icerec c
LecuIifu| wcmcn" cnc whcI cLcuI IhcI ccu:ec him Ic reccI in Ihe wcy
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he cce: cnc whcI hcppen:, :Iep-Ly-:Iep in:ice hi: Lccy cnc minc. LcI: cf
icicI :hrink: wcu|c hcve :IcrIec Ly gcing inIc hi: pc:I Ic finc cuI whcI
Ircumc ccu:ec him Ic fecr LecuIifu| wcmen. Whc give c :hiI WHEN iI
hcppenec l prefer Ic cec| wiIh HCW iI hcppen:, cnc WH/I prcce::
en:ue: Ic |ecc him Ic Leing c :hcky, :wecIy, me::. 8e:ice:, c: l :IcIec
Lefcre, virIuc||y c|| phcLic: hcve nc :IcrIing evenI.
Sc l hcc him cc Ihe:e :Iep:, cnc wiIhin 20 minuIe:, hi: :ericu: cc:e cf
Venu:IrcphcLic wc: :c cimini:hec, IhcI c|| IhcI remcinec cf iI wc: c
he:iIcIicn in cpprccching LecuIifu| wcmen. 8uI, cf ccur:e, he evenIuc||y
gcI pc:I IhcI c: we||.
/nc whi|e mc:I :hrink: wcu|c Ihink l hcc nc righI Ic Icke cn :cmeIhing
Le:I |efI Ic c prcfe::icnc|" my re:pcn:e Ic Ihem i: Ihi:: || tney c|e :c
p|c|e::|cnc|. cnc kncw ncw tc ce:t ncnc|e :ucn c cc:e. wny ccu|cn't
tney cc |n 10 yecr: wnct | c|c |n 20 n|nute:
8uI IhcI in nc wcy mecn: IhcI l|| Le Iecching YCU hcw Ic cc iI Icc.
Ferhcp: in cn /cvcncec ccur:e, LuI ncI in here. Ihi: chcpIer i: cn whcI
mcke: c Le|ief, cnc hcw ycu wi|| wcnI Ic chcnge :cme cf ycur Le|ief: Ic
geI whcI ycu Iru|y wcnI in Ihi: |ife.

Dic ycu kncw IhcI cmcng Ihe currenI kncwn phcLic: cf Ihe wcr|c, Ihere
cre FCUF IhcI hcve Ic cc wiIh c fecr cf ccI: /i|urcphcLic, E|urcphcLic,
Fe|incphcLic, cnc Gc|ecphcLic/GcIcphcLic.
{Nct v|tc| tc kncw |c| tn|: cncpte|. | u:t |e|t ||ke :nc||ng tne |n|c|nct|cn.}

8e|ief: cre Lui|I u:ing Ihe kncw|ecge cnc cwcrene:: cLcuI Ihe Le|ief we
hcve cI Ihe Iime. lnIere:Iing|y encugh, :cme cf Ihe mc:I pcwerfu| Le|ief:
IhcI we hcve c|:c ccme frcm c |cck cf kncw|ecge cnc cwcrene::.

l :hc|| e|cLcrcIe.

LeI u: preIenc IhcI cnce upcn c Iime, in Ihe :ecreI mcunIcin: cf :cme
:ecreI i:|cnc, wcmen gcve LirIh Ic chi|cren. /nc cn Ihi: i:|cnc, Ihe Le|ief
wc: IhcI cny chi|c whc wc: Lcrn cn c :ccrec ccy wc: chc:en Ly Gcc Ic
grcw cnc Leccme c wi:e Ieccher cnc |eccer. /nc IhcI c :ccrec ccy
wc: cny ccy IhcI hcc rcinfc||, c: Ihi: wc: c nurIuring e|emenI IhcI he|pec
fruiI Lecring p|cnI: Ic grcw cnc prcvicec crinkcL|e wcIer fcr Ihe
inhcLiIcnI:.
/|:c cn Ihi: i:|cnc, iI wc: Le|ievec IhcI cny chi|c Lcrn cn c :ccri|ege ccy,
wc: ce:Iinec Ic cie cnywcy, :c iI wc: Ic Le p|ccec in c Iiny LccI cnc
cc:I cuI Ic :ec, never Ic Le ccrec fcr. /nc IhcI c :ccri|ege ccy wc: cny
ccy when Ihe grcunc :hcck, c: Ihi: wc: c ce:IrucIive fcrce IhcI ccu:ec
hcme: cnc Iree: Ic Icpp|e, :cmeIime: injuring cr ki||ing :cme cf Ihe
inhcLiIcnI:.
/nc in cne mcnIh c chi|c hcc Leen Lcrn cn c :ccrec ccy, whi|e cne
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chi|c wc: Lcrn cn c :ccri|ege ccy.
Ihe chi|c Lcrn cn Ihe :ccrec ccy wc: IcughI everyIhing Ihere wc: Ic
kncw cLcuI Ihe i:|cnc cnc wc: enccurcgec Ic Iry new Ihing: cnc pcncer
new icec:, :c IhcI Ihe chi|c wcu|c grcw up Ic Leccme c grecI Ieccher
cnc |eccer.
Mecnwhi|e, Ihe chi|c Lcrn cn Ihe :ccri|ege ccy, wc: p|ccec in c Iiny LccI
cnc cc:I cuI Ic :ec.
IhirIy yecr: |cIer, Ihe chi|c Lcrn cn Ihe :ccrec ccy i: cf ccur:e fu||y grcwn
cnc Fu|er cf Ihe :ecreI i:|cnc, cnc hc: Ihe Iru:I cnc re:pecI cf everycne
cn Ihe i:|cnc. IhcI :cme IhirIy yecr: |cIer, p|u: five ccy:, Ihe chi|c Lcrn cn
Ihe :ccri|ege c|:c ncw c fu||y grcwn ccu|I, reIurn: Ic Ihe i:|cnc Ly wcy cf
c my:Iericu: LccI cc||ec c grcnc |uxury ycchI."
Ihe ncw grcwn ccu|I :peck: cf hcving Leen re:cuec Ly c LccI mcce cf
c :Ircnge mcIerie| kncwn c: meIc|" cnc cf Leing IcughI mcny Ihing: Ly
pecp|e cc||ec Ieccher:" in huI: cc||ec :chcc|" cnc cf Leccming
:cmeIhing cc||ec c cccIcr." Ihe ncw grcwn ccu|I cf Ihe :ccrec ccy i:
puzz|ec, c: cre Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf Ihe :ecreI i:|cnc. Hcw ccu|c Ihi: per:cn
whc wc: Lcrn cn c :ccri|ege ccy hcve Leen :Ii|| |iving /cccrcing Ic
i:|cnc |cw, Ihe chi|c wc: cc:I cuI cnc wc: ce:Iinec Ic cie |cng cgc. YeI
here Ihe chi|c :Iccc, ncw c fu||y grcwn ccu|I.
Ihe ncw grcwn ccu|I cf Ihe :ccrec ccy hcc cn|y Ihe kncw|ecge cnc
cwcrene:: kncwn in which Ic mcke :en:e cf Ihi:. Sc iI wc: ceIerminec Ly
Ihe ncw grcwn ccu|I cf Ihe :ccrec ccy, IhcI Ihi: ncw grcwn ccu|I cf Ihe
:ccri|ege ccy wc: cLvicu:|y c cemcn.
Ihe chi|c wc: Lcrn cn c :cc|||ege ccy cfIer c||, :c iI ju:I mcce :en:e.
Sc, Ihe i:|cnc wc: in:IrucIec Ic ki|| Ihe cemcn."
8c:ec cn whcI wc: kncwn c: rec|iIy" Ic Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf Ihe i:|cnc, cnc
Leccu:e Ihe crcer ccme frcm Iheir ru|er, :cmecne Lcrn cn c :ccrec ccy,
Ihey c|| cic c: Ihey were in:IrucIec wiIhcuI ue:Iicn.
We||, c|mc:I c|| cf Ihem.
Ihere wc: c ycung chi|c, nc c|cer Ihcn 7 yecr: cf cge, whc hcc c|:c
Leen Lcrn cn c :ccrec ccy. Ihi: ycung Lcy :cic, Since l wc: Lcrn cn c
:ccrec ccy, cnc l hcve Leen enccurcgec Ic Iry new Ihing: cnc Ic
pcncer new icec:, l hcve :cmeIhing Ic :cy." Ihe inhcLiIcnI: |i:Ienec.
Ihe ycung Lcy :cic, Ihi: ccu|I Lcrn cn c :ccri|ege ccy cic ncI cie. /nc
he Lring: Ic u: kncw|ecge frcm :cmewhere Leycnc cur i:|cnc. lf we ki||
him, Ihen we wi|| never kncw hcw vc|ucL|e hi: kncw|ecge i:. /nc :ince l
hcve c|wcy: Leen enccurcgec Ic Iry new Ihing: cnc Ic pcncer new
icec:, Ihen l u:e IhcI enccurcgemenI Ic |ecrn whcI Ihi: ccu|I mighI Le
cL|e Ic Iecch u:. 8eccu:e c: hc: Leen cur wcy fcr my |ifeIime, we |ecrn
whcI we cic ncI kncw Ly |i:Iening Ic Ihc:e whc hcve Ihe kncw|ecge."
Ihe inhcLiIcnI: ccu|c ncI crgue IhcI Ihi: wc: Irue, :c Ihe ccu|I Lcrn cn Ihe
:ccri|ege ccy wc: :pcrec.
Ihe ccu|I Lcrn cn c :ccri|ege ccy, IcughI Ihem cLcuI mecicine" cnc
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hcw iIem: fcunc cn Ihe i:|cnc ccu|c Le u:ec Ic he|p wiIh :ickne:: cnc
imprcve viIc| energy.
Ihe inhcLiIcnI: :ccn rec|izec IhcI Ihi: ccu|I Lcrn cn c :ccri|ege ccy, wc:
ccIuc||y cn cmczing he|p Ic Iheir |ive:. Sc c new uncer:Icncing wc: Lcrn.
/ new uncer:Icncing IhcI mcyLe whcI Ihey IhcughI wc: c :ccri|ege ccy,
cue Ic Ihe grcunc :hcking cnc ccu:ing ccmcge, wc: ccIuc||y Gcc
Ie||ing Ihem IhcI Ihi: chi|c Lcrn cn Ihi: ccy wcu|c :hcke up" whcI Ihey
u:ec Ic cc, cnc Lring c new cnc LeIIer uncer:Icncing Ic Iheir :ecreI
i:|cnc.
Never cgcin wc: c chi|c Lcrn cn c :ccri|ege" ccy cc:I cuI Ic :ec.

/nc ncw | cm cLcuI Ic :hcIIer c |cng he|c Le|ief. ln fccI, Ly Ihe Iime ycu
fini:h reccing Ihi: chcpIer, Ihere mcy Le :eve|c| |cng he|c Le|ief: ycu finc
:hcIIering.
8uI fir:I, |eI: :eI Ihe :Icge" :c Ihe prcce:: i: LeIIer uncer:Iccc. /fIer c||, l
ccnI expecI ycu Ic cgree wiIh whcI l wriIe un|e:: l wriIe iI in c wcy IhcI
mcke: :en:e. FighI
Ic :IcrI, iI i: impcrIcnI IhcI ycu rec|ize whcI ccu:e: c Le|ief Ic cccur in Ihe
fir:I p|cce. Ihere cre mcny view: cnc cpinicn: cn whcI c Le|ief i: cnc
whcI crecIe: Le|ief.
Scme wcu|c :cy IhcI c Le|ief cccur: when ycu nc |cnger ue:Iicn iI. l
ci:cgree. Ccncept: ccn exi:I IhcI ycu cc ncI ue:Iicn, LuI Le|ief exi:I: cn
|eve|:. Mecning, ycu hcve :cme Le|ief: IhcI ycu fee| :Ircng|y cLcuI, cnc iI
mighI Icke uiIe cn effcrI fcr ycur Le|ief in iI Ic chcnge, whi|e ycu c|:c
hcve Le|ief: IhcI cre very :en:iIive cnc vu|nercL|e cnc ccn chcnge very,
very ec:i|y. Ihere cre mcny Ihing: IhcI we hcve Le|ief in, even Ihcugh we
ue:Iicn iI. Ihe vc:I mcjcriIy cf u: Le|ieve IhcI |cve exi:I:, Ihcugh mcny,
mcny, Iime: we ue:Iicn if we cur:e|ve: wi|| ever Iru|y finc iI. Which i:
ccIuc||y Irue cf mcny, mcny Ihing:. We Le|ieve iI i: rec|, Ihcugh we
ue:Iicn if we ccn ever cIIcin iI.
Mi||icncire: fcr excmp|e.
Ycu Le|ieve IhcI mi||icncire: exi:I, Ihcugh ycu mcy ue:Iicn cnc ccuLI
ycur cwn |ife Leing cne in which ycu cre c mi||icncire. l wc: chc||engec
cn Ihi: Ly :cme pecp|e, Ihe crgumenI Leing IhcI Ihe Le|ief iI:e|f wc: in
Ihe :uLjecI {|cve, mi||icncire:, eIc.) ncI in cur cwn cLi|iIy Ic experience Ihe
:uLjecI. We||, ccIuc||y, IhcI in iI:e|f i: c Le|ief wiIhin c Le|ief. /nc my rep|y
Ic Ihe crgumenI mcce, i: Ihi:: Ihe ccncepI {|cve, mi||icncire:, eIc.) i:
cccepIec, LuI IhcI cce: ncI cuIcmcIicc||y mcke iI c Le|ief. Ycur pcrenI:
mcy hcve :pcken Ic ycu cLcuI |cve c: c chi|c, cnc ycu cccepIec Ihe
ccncepI cf Ihere Leing Ihi: Ihing cc||ec |cve. 8uI ccIuc| cnc Irue Le|ief in
iI cic ncI exi:I yeI, iI wc: :imp|y :cmeIhing ycu cccepIec Leccu:e IhcI:
whcI ycur pcrenI: Ic|c ycu {l rec|ize IhcI lm ce|ving inIc pcrenIc|
upLringing, which inc|uce: whcI we cc cnc cc ncI Le|ieve frcm cur
pcrenI:, LuI ju:I Ic i||u:IrcIe my pcinI gc checc cnc preIenc Ihi: i: cn
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excmp|e cf Ihe hypcIheIicc| chi|c Le|ieving hi:/her pcrenI:) Sc cnce Ihe
ccncepI cf Ihi: Ihing cc||ec |cve i: cccepIec, |eI u: Ihen :cy IhcI Ihe chi|c
experience: c Lig hug cnc c ki:: frcm /unIie He|gc, cnc IhcI Ihe chi|c:
pcrenI: infcrm Ihe chi|c IhcI Ihi: i: c cemcn:IrcIicn cf |cve. lI wc: cI tnct
Iime when Le|ief Legcn Ic fcrm.
Ihere i: mcre gcing cn Ihcn :imp|y IhcI, l c::ure ycu, LuI Ihi: i: ncI where l
exp|cin Ihe finer ceIci|: cf Le|ief, cn|y Ihe cifference LeIween ccncepI v:.
Le|ief.

lI hc: c|:c Leen :cic IhcI c Le|ief i: grcuncec in prccf. l ci:cgree wiIh Ihi:
c: we||. lf prccf were reuirec fcr c Le|ief Ic cccur, Chri:Iicn: wcu|c ncI
Le|ieve in Gcc ncr IhcI Je:u: Chri:I ciec fcr Iheir :in:, fcr excmp|e. Ihey
were ncI pre:enI cI Ihe Crucifixicn, Ihey hcve ncI :een Gcc in Ihe f|e:h,
ncr hc: cny church ccme fcrIh :IcIing Gcc :pcke c|cuc Ic Ihe
ccngregcIicn {/cny Cn||:t|cn: c|c|n tnct Gcc :peck: tc tnen. cut tnct |:
c|wcy: c ccnve|:ct|cn tnct tcke: p|cce |n:|ce tne|| n|nc. Nct tnct | cn
t|y|ng tc cecunk |t. | cn u:t :tct|ng wne|e tne ccnve|:ct|cn |: :c|c tc ce
tck|ng p|cce) Sc iI i: ncI prccf IhcI fue|: Ihe Chri:Iicn Le|ief, Iherefcre
Le|ief ccn ncI cn|y exi:I in Ihe pre:ence cf prccf.

lI hc: c|:c Leen :cic IhcI c Le|ief i: c :Ircng cpinicn. We||, ncI uiIe. Whi|e
iI i: Irue IhcI hcw ycu view :cmeIhing inf|uence: Ihe cpinicn ycu hcve
cLcuI iI, IhcI cce: ncI exp|cin wny ycu view iI in c wcy IhcI ccu:e: Ihe
cpinicn Ic Le :Ircng encugh Ic crecIe c Le|ief.

Sc whcI cce: ccu:e cn cpinicn Ic Le :Ircng encugh Ic crecIe c Le|ief

Ihe cn:wer i: cn cmc|gcmcIicn cf emcIicn, view, Iru:I, cnc expecIcIicn.
Uncer:Icnc IhcI Ihi: cn|y cpp|ie: Ic whcI mcke: cn cpinicn :Ircng encugh
Ic crecIe c Le|ief, LuI i: ncI whcI c Le|ief i: in IcIc|iIy.

l|| Icuch cn Ihi: crec |cIer. Fcr ncw, |eI me fini:h cefining whcI c Le|ief i:.

ln Lrccc Ierm:, c Le|ief i: inf|uencec Ly pcrenIc| cnc :ccic| |ecrning. 8uI
Ihe very hecrI cnc :cu| cf c Le|ief, whcI Iru|y ncke: c Le|ief, cre Ihree
Ihing:: per:uc:icn, infcrmcIicn cnc inIerpreIcIicn.
Fer:uc:icn, c: in :cmecne cr :cmeIhing inf|uence: ycu Ic ccn:icer Ihe
Le|ief.
lnfcrmcIicn, c: in Ihe kncw|ecge cnc fccI:" IhcI gc inIc Ihe Le|ief.
lnIerpreIcIicn, c: in ycur uncer:Icncing cf Ihe Lc:ic ccncepI cf Ihe Le|ief.

/nc Lefcre ycu crgue IhcI l hcve ncI inc|ucec |cgic inIc Ihe eucIicn,
uncer:Icnc IhcI inIerpreIcIicn |: |cgic.
8uI c|:c uncer:Icnc IhcI whcI cne per:cn finc: |cgic" in, mcy ncI Le
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|cgicc| cI c|| Ic ycu, Ihcugh ycu mcy LcIh :hcre Ihe :cme Le|ief. Ihere i:
nc :|ng|e |ine cf |cgic, iI i: c|| :uLjecIive.
/n exce||enI excmp|e cf Ihi:, i: Ihe mcvie Ihe SixIh Sen:e." lF YCU H/VE
NCI SEEN IHlS MCVlE, l /M /8CUI IC FEVE/L IHE ENDlNG {lf ycu cc ncI
wi:h Ic |ecrn Ihe encing, :kip Ic Ihe nexI pcrcgrcph) ln Ihe mcvie, we cre
lNFLUENCED Ic Le|ieve IhcI Mc|cc|m Crcwe, p|cyec Ly 8ruce Wi||i:, i:
hcving c :Ircinec mcrricge, Lc:ec cn Ihe infcrmcIicn {cic|cgue, :cene:)
given Ic u: curing Ihe mcvie. Iherefcre, we lNIEFFFEI Ihi: Ic Le Irue, Ihu:
we hcve c 8ELlEF IhcI Ihi: i: inceec whcI i: gcing cn. Hcwever, c: we
ci:ccver cI Ihe enc cf Ihe mcvie, Mc|cc|m ccIuc||y ciec 7 minuIe: inIc
Ihe mcvie, cnc gce: Ihrcugh Ihe re:I cf Ihe mcvie c: c ghc:I, c :piriI IhcI
cce: ncI kncw he i: cecc. Which mecn: hi: wife ccn ncI :ee him, ncr
hecr him Ic|king, cnc IhcI ccu:e: Ihe evenI: Ic cppecr Ic Le c cc:e cf c
:Ircinec mcrricge. /nc when ycu view Ihe mcvie c :eccnc Iime, ycu :ee
new |cgic, Lc:ec cn c new 8ELlEF. Sc, which inIerpreIcIicn wc: Ihe mcre
|cgicc| Ihe cn:wer i: 8CIH, :ince LcIh were |cgicc| Lc:ec cn Ihe
inf|uence cnc inIerpreIcIicn, cnc mcre impcrIcnI|y Ihe |n|c|nct|cn, ycu
hcc cI ecch viewing. GrcnIec, cfIer Ihe fir:I viewing cf Ihe mcvie ycu
hcve Ihe |uxury cf c|reccy kncwing Ihe u|IimcIe :ecreI cf Ihe fi|m. 8uI iI :Ii||
:Icnc: c: c perfecI excmp|e cf hcw whcI we kncw cnc Ihink i: Irue, c|Ier:
Ihe rec|iIy" we experience.

/nc Ic LeIIer kncw Ihe rec|iIy" we experience, we mu:I gc Lcck Ic Ihe
Leginning.
Ihe ve|y Leginning.
Nc cne wc: Lcrn inIc Ihi: wcr|c hcving Le|ief:. Ihe rec:cn Leing, Ic hcve
c Le|ief ycu mu:I hcve :cmeIhing in which Ic ccmpcre iI cgcin:I. lI i:
cL:c|uIe|y cnc ccmp|eIe|y impc::iL|e Ic hcve c Le|ief un|e:: ycu hcve
ccciIicnc| Le|ief: IhcI :uppcrI iI. /cciIicnc||y, Ihere mu:I Le cn
experience IhcI gce: wiIh iI. /nc cI Ihe Iime cf Ihi: wriIing, Ihere hc: Leen
nc verifiec prccf IhcI we cre ccgnizcnI cf cny experience: in which Ic
fcrm: Le|ief: frcm whi|e :Ii|| in Ihe wcmL.
Ihi: cf ccur:e chcnge: Ihe mcmenI :uch prccf i: pre:enIec cnc
cccepIec. {Which wi|| Le Ihe experience IhcI ccu:e: Ihe new Le|ief c: c
re:u|I.)
/nc whi|e iI ccu|c Le crguec cLcuI whcI we Iru|y kncw cnc
ccmprehenc whi|e in Ihe wcmL, whcI ccn nct Le crguec i: IhcI we hcve
nc ccncepI cf righI, wrcng, Irue, cr fc|:e whi|e in Ihe wcmL cnc fcr cn
un:pecifiec Iime cfIer we cre Lcrn. /nc :c we hcve nc mecning in which
Ic cIIcch Ic Ihing:. /nc wiIhcuI mecning, Ihere ccn Le nc fcrmcIicn cf c
Le|ief.

Hcwever, IhcI cce: ncI mecn IhcI whcI hcppen: whi|e we cre in Ihe
wcmL cce: ncI cffecI u: in cur |ife. CuiIe Ihe cppc:iIe, ccIuc||y.
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Every :cunc, every emcIicn fe|I Ly Mcm, eve|ytn|ng, |cy ccrmcnI in:ice cf
ycur Lrcin.
A|| of |f.
/nc c: cerIcin Ihing: cccur, Ihc:e ccrmcnI Ihing: Leccme ccIive.
Fcr excmp|e, c: c Ieeny LcLy ycu mighI hecr :cme :cng IhcI Mcm hc:
p|cying in Ihe kiIchen. /nc iI mcke: ycu grin c Lig IccIh|e:: grin. /: iI Iurn:
cuI, Ihi: i: cne cf ycur mcm: fcvcriIe :cng:, cnc :he u:ec Ic p|cy iI c |cI
cnc :ing c|cng Ic iI curing Ihe pregncncy. /nc Leccu:e emcIicn: fe|I Ly
mcm cre c|:c fe|I Ly ycu in Ihe wcmL, Ihi: :cng ccu:e: whcIever Ihc:e
emcIicn: were, Ic cccur cgcin ncw. Sc Ihe Le|ief i: fcrmec IhcI ycu |ike
IhcI :cng.

GeI iI

Sc Ihe Le|ief i: fcrmec IhcI ycu |ike IhcI :cng.
8uI |eI: chcnge IhcI Le|ief.
LeI u: gc Lcck Ic IhcI :cme mcmenI cf ycu hecring Ihe :cng p|cying in
Ihe kiIchen. Cn|y Ihi: Iime, ycu hecr mcm ye||ing c: Ihe :cng i: p|cying.
Even Ihcugh Ihere were gccc fee|ing: cLcuI IhcI :cng Lefcre, Ihi: new
e|emenI ccu:e: Ihing: Ic chcnge in ycur minc. Ncw, in:Iecc cf :imp|y
:mi|ing IhcI Lig IccIh|e:: grin, ycu Iry Ic mcke :en:e cf whcI i: hcppening.
Mcm u:ec Ic :ing c|cng Ic Ihi: :cng, LuI Ihi: Iime :he: ye||ing cI Ihe :cng.
Ye||ing ccu:e: whcI ycu wi|| |cIer |ecrn i: cc||ec fecr, :c mcyLe IhcI: ncI
c gccc :cng cnymcre.
Unkncwn Ic ycu, Mcm wc: ncI ye||ing cI Ihe :cng, :he wc: ye||ing cI
:cme ccg: cuI:ice whc were crcpping in her LecuIifu| f|cwerLec. 8uI
:ince ycu hcc nc icec yeI whcI mcm: wcrc: mecnI, ycu hcve :imp|y
cIIcchec Ihe emcIicn cf her wcrc:, Ic Ihe :cng IhcI wc: p|cying.
Scme :cng, cifferenI experience, new Le|ief.

/nc fcr Ihe fir:I hcncfu| cf yecr: in ycur |ife, Ihi: i: hcw ycu Legcn Ic fcrm
Le|ief: cLcuI Ihing:.
We||, c|mc:I.
Since Ihe:e fir:I precicu: yecr: cre :penI primcri|y wiIh ycur pcrenI: {cr
grcncpcrenI: if ycur fc|k: cumpec ycu cff Ihere cn mc:I weekenc:) Ihey
Leccme ycur mcin :curce fcr whcI i: gccc, Lcc, righI, wrcng,
cccepIcL|e, cr uncccepIcL|e. Ycu cc :cmeIhing, :ee :cmeIhing, hecr
:cmeIhing, :me|| :cmeIhing, Icuch :cmeIhing, cnc Ihe:e fine fc|k: reccI in
c wcy IhcI p|cce: c mecning Ic IhcI ccIicn, IhcI :ighI, IhcI :cunc, IhcI
:me||, cr IhcI Icuch. /nc c: c re:u|I, iI inf|uence: hcw ycu |ecrn whcI i: Ihe
ccrrecI wcy Ic Lehcve, cnc hcw ycu wi|| perceive iI nexI Iime.
lf LcLy Sc||y Icuche: c rc:e, cnc Mcmmy :|cp: her hcnc c: c re:u|I, Sc||y
wi|| Ihen fcrm c Le|ief cLcuI whcI Icuching rc:e: mecn:.
lf LcLy Scmmy Icuche: c rc:e, cnc Mcmmy :mi|e: cnc :cy: wcrc: IhcI
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:cunc p|ec:ing, Scmmy wi|| Ihen c|:c fcrm c Le|ief cLcuI whcI Icuching
rc:e: mecn:.
Unkncwn Ic LcLy Sc||y, wc: IhcI Mcmmy wc: cfrcic her ce|iccIe :kin
wcu|c Le :crcIchec cn c Ihcrn IhcI wc: necr her hcnc.
Unkncwn Ic LcLy Scmmy, wc: IhcI Mcmmy hcc c|reccy remcvec c|| Ihe
Ihcrn: frcm Ihe rc:e.
Mcking :en:e

lI: ncIhing new Ic hecr IhcI Ihe mecning we cIIcch Ic :cmeIhing i: why
we hcve Ihe Le|ief cLcuI iI IhcI we cc. 8uI whcI mighI Le new Ic ycu, i:
ju:I hcw :pecificc||y ycu neec Ic fccu: cn Ihe mecning ycu cIIcch Ic
Ihing: IhcI ycu ncrmc||y ccnI give cny Ihcugh Ic. Ihing: IhcI ycu hcve
Le|ief: cLcuI, LuI |ike|y never even ccn:cicu:|y Ihink cLcuI.
Fcr excmp|e, ycu c|reccy kncw whcI iI wi|| fee| |ike Lefcre ycu |cy ycur
crm ccrc:: ycur pi||cw. Ycu c|reccy kncw whcI iI wi|| fee| |ike Lefcre IhcI
ice cc|c Levercge fir:I Icuche: ycur |ip:. Ycu c|reccy kncw whcI iI wi|| fee|
|ike Lefcre ycur feeI cre in:ice cf ycur :hce:.
YeI, whi|e ycu ccnI Ihink cLcuI iI, ycu hcve Le|ief: cLcuI c|| cf Ihe:e
Ihing:.
lf Ihe pi||cw were :uccen|y fi||ec wiIh jcggec g|c::, ycu wcu|c fee|
cifferenI|y cLcuI |cying ycur crm ccrc:: iI, cue Ic ycur Le|ief chcnging c:
Ic hcw IhcI wcu|c fee|.
Ihe :cme cpp|ie: if IhcI ice cc|c Levercge :uccen|y chcngec Ic mc|Ien
|cvc, ycu wcu|c fee| cifferenI|y cLcuI iI Icuching ycur |ip:.
8uI cn c |e:: exIreme excmp|e, if ycur :hce|cce: Lrcke, ycur Le|ief cLcuI
hcw ycur feeI wcu|c fee| in:ice cf Ihem wcu|c chcnge c: we||.

Ihe pcinI IhcI l cm Irying Ic mcke Ic ycu, cnc Ihe me::cge IhcI l hcpe i:
geIIing Ihrcugh Ic ycu, i: IhcI Ic un|ec:h Ihe /|phc wiIhin ycu reuire: ycu
Ic Le very cwcre cf whcI ycu cre c||cwing ycur Le|ief: Ic Le cn c|| |eve|:.
Fcr Icc cfIen we wcrk Ic imprcve, chcnge, cr enhcnce :cmeIhing,
wiIhcuI pcying cIIenIicn Ic c|| Ihe rec:cn: iI wc: IhcI wcy in Ihe fir:I
p|cce.
Ycu mighI wcnI Ic |c:e weighI, :c ycu cc whcI ycu hcve Leen |ecc Ic
Le|ieve i: Ihe wcy Ic geI IhcI re:u|I. EcI cifferenI|y, exerci:e, geI c week|y
cc|cn c|ecn:ing, cnc :c cn. 8uI ncne cf Ihc:e Ihing: wi|| give ycu |c:Iing
:cIi:fccIicn if ycu hcve ncI |cckec very c|c:e|y cI c|| Ihe Ihing: IhcI
re:u|Iec in ycu Leing cI c weighI ycu ncw wi:h Ic |c:e. Se|f-e:Ieem, Leing
Lig Lcnec" {which i: c Lu||:**I ccp-cuI in ny cpinicn), c Ihyrcic prcL|em
{Nc, iI: c ccnI-gc-cn-hcur-wiIhcuI-ecIing-:cmeIhing" prcL|em in ny
cpinicn), ncI hcving Iime Ic wcrk cuI/ecI LeIIer, L|ch, L|ch, L|ch. IhcI: c||
Ihe :u||cce rec:cn:, LuI ncI c|| Ihe |ec| rec:cn:. Fec:cn: |ike, Ihe cngcing
:uLccn:cicu: reIenIicn cf c 2 yecr c|c whc :Ii|| recc||: Mcm :cying Ic
Ihem cI yecr: c|c, Ycure c pigl" cnc cccepIing IhcI c: c Irue
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:IcIemenI cf ycur icenIiIy {CIherwi:e kncwn c: c 8ELlEFl) Fec:cn: |ike: Ihe
p|ec:ing fee|ing: when ecIing c cupccke, p|ec:ing fee|ing: IhcI e|uce
ycu in cIher Ihing: {Ic:Ie ccu:e: emcIicn, which i: cne cf Ihe rec:cn: why
ycu :c|ivcIe when Ihinking cf :cme fccc:, cnc cringe when Ihinking cf
cIher fccc:)

CigcreIIe:. Nc cne Legin: :mcking Leccu:e cf Ihe Ic:Ie {nc cne IhcI l
kncw cf :c |c| cnywcy) yeI mi||icn: cf pecp|e Iry Ic u:e Ihe excu:e, Ihey
mcke my c|cIhe: :Iink" c: cn excu:e Ic uiI.
Sure, IhcI: c LenefiI cf Leccming c ncn-:mcker, LuI iI hc: ncIhing Ic cc
wiIh wny ycu Legcn, cnc why ycu ccnt|nue Ic :mcke cigcreIIe:.
l knew c hypncIi:I whc: meIhcc cf geIIing pecp|e Ic uiI wc: Ic mcke
Ihe cigcreIIe Ic:Ie exIreme|y fcu| every Iime c c|ienI wcu|c |ighI cne up in
Ihe fuIure. Uh...:pecking c: :cmecne whc wc: c :mcker, chcnging
crcppy Ic crcppier i: hcrc|y cn effecIive cnc |cng |c:Iing meIhcc.

Ihe cn|y, Cn|y, CNLY |c:Iing wcy Ic chcnge ycur weighI, ycur hec|Ih, cnc
whcIever e|:e ycu wcnI Ic chcnge, i: Ic fir:I chcnge Ihe Le|ief: ycu hcve
cLcuI Ihe:e Ihing: IhcI |ec Ic Ihem Leing where Ihey cre righI ncwl

Sc hcw cc ycu cc IhcI"

lm g|cc IhcI ycu c:kecl

SIcrI Ly Ihinking cf :cmeIhing IhcI ycuve Leen :Irugg|ing wiIh fcr c whi|e.
{A wn||e ce|ng nc|e tncn c ncntn)
Lc:ing weighI, uiIIing :mcking, geIIing c LeIIer pcying jcL, whcIever Ihe
fir:I Ihing IhcI ccme: Ic minc cnc mcke: ycu gc, Yep, Leen hcving c
Icugh Iime geIIing IH/I cne ccccmp|i:hec."

Dic ycu Ihink cf :cmeIhing {|| ycu ncve :eve|c| :cnetn|ng: tnen u:t
p|ck tne cne tnct ycu'|e ncv|ng tne nc:t c||||cu|ty w|tn)

Ncw, c:k ycur:e|f cuI |cuc, "Whot ore o|| o| the th|ngs thot I hove been
th|nk|ng obout wh||e try|ng to [|nserf fhe somefh|ng here} wh|ch couse me
to not succeed?"

Ycu hcve Ic rec||y :cy iI cuI |cuc, Iru:I me, iI he|p:.

WhcI: gcing Ic hcppen, ncw IhcI ycu c:kec Ihi: ue:Iicn Ic ycur:e|f cuI
|cuc, i: ycur minc wi|| prcce:: Ihi: ue:Iicn. /nc iI wi|| give ycu cn cn:wer
in Ihe fcrm cf memcrie:, imcge:, cnc emcIicn:.
WhcIever iI i: ycu pickec Ic u:e c: ycur :cmeIhing" hc: mcre cIIcchec
Ic ycur nct hcving ccccmp|i:hec iI yeI, Ihcn ycu mighI hcve ever
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rec|izec. Sc Ihe ccnIenI cf Ihe cn:wer mcy ccu:e ycu Ic Leccme
emcIicnc|, cr cI |ec:I ccu:e ycu Ic LeIIer reccgnize whcI: rec||y gcing
cn wiIh ycur:e|f.

/nc Ihcugh l ccnI kncw ycu, l cm wi||ing Ic LeI IhcI c|| IhcI :Icnc: in Ihe
wcy cf ccccmp|i:hing IhcI :cmeIhing," cre :cme chcnge: in Ihe Le|ief:
IhcI ycu hcve cLcuI iI. CfIen we cre :c cerIcin cf cur Le|ief:, IhcI iI Icke:
:cmecne Ic ccme c|cng cnc :hcw u: IhcI cur Le|ief: cre ncI :erving u:
we||, in crcer fcr u: Ic cccepI IhcI we neec Ic chcnge.

lm gcing Ic Ie|| ycu c :Icry cLcuI c wcmcn ncmec CcIherine. EveryIhing
IhcI l Ie|| ycu cLcuI her wi|| Le Irue.
Feccy

CcIherine hc: Leen mcrriec fcr c few yecr: ncw. When :he i: c:kec hcw
her mcrricge i:, CcIherine hc: cn|y gccc Ihing: Ic :cy cLcuI her hu:Lcnc.
She :IcIe: IhcI :he hc: never checIec cn her hu:Lcnc. CcIherine cce:
ncI :mcke, :he cce: ncI cc crug:, LuI whi|e :he wc: ccIing her Hu:Lcnc
:he c|c Icke her c|cIhe: cff fcr mcney. /nc c yecr cr :c cfIer geIIing
mcrriec, Ihere were c few Iime: when :he hc: pc::icncIe|y ki::ec guy:
whc were ncI her hu:Lcnc {Nc. tney we|e nct ne| |e|ct|ve: e|tne|). /nc
recenI|y, CcIherine: hu:Lcnc wcIchec c vicec cf her nckec cnc in Lec
wiIh cncIher wcmcn. When Ihey cre cuI in puL|ic, CcIherine cnc her
hu:Lcnc cre c|| :mi|e: cnc |cck |ike c ccup|e :Ii|| very much in |cve cnc
hcppy Ic Le mcrriec Ic ecch cIher. CcIherine: pcrenI: cre very re|igicu:,
cnc Ihey kncw c|| cLcuI her hcving Leen pcic Ic Icke her c|cIhe: cff, Ihe
cIher men :he: ki::ec :ince geIIing mcrriec, cnc even Ihe vicec cf her
wiIh cncIher wcmcn. Hcw cc Ihey re:pcnc when c:kec whcI Ihey Ihink
cf Iheir ccughIer hcving ccne Ihe:e Ihing: Her mcIher :cy:, Ihe:e cre
ncI Ihing: l wcu|c hcve ccne, LuI we rci:ec cur ccughIer Ic mcke her
cwn ceci:icn:." Her fcIher :cy:, She: cur ccughIer, we |cve her."

Sc whcI cc YCU Ihink cLcuI CcIherine Dic ycu recch Ihe Le|ief IhcI
mcyLe :he u:ec Ic Le c :Iripper Dc ycu Ihink IhcI whcI :he cic wiIh
Ihc:e cIher guy: cnc IhcI cIher wcmcn i: ccn:icerec checIing Dc ycu
Le|ieve :he i: c Lcc per:cn, cr wcu|c ycu |ike Ic meeI her Icke c
mcmenI Ic Ihink cLcuI whcI ycur Le|ief: cre cLcuI CcIherine.
Icke cLcuI c minuIe, l ccn wciI.

(F|nc| Jecpc|cy tnene p|cy:}

Ncw IhcI lve Ic|c ycu :cme Ihing: cLcuI CcIherine, cnc ycu hcve
fcrmec Le|ief: cLcuI her, iI: Iime Ic revec| Ic ycu IhcI CcIherine i: c
Hc||ywccc ccIre::. IhcI: righI, :he geI: pcic Ic Icke her c|cIhe: cff, Ic ki::
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men cIher Ihcn her hu:Lcnc, Ic geI inIc Lec wiIh cncIher wcmcn.
Hcw cce: Ihi: chcnge whcI ycu Le|ievec cLcuI CcIherine
Chcnce: cre, ncw IhcI ycu hcve Ihi: ccciIicnc| infcrmcIicn, ycur view
cnc cpinicn cf CcIherine chcngec. Ihu:, ycur 8ELlEF chcngec cLcuI her.

Here': cncIher cne.
LeI: :cy IhcI c Ieencger ncmec /|ice Iurn: 17 cnc cn her LirIhccy her
pcrenI: gifI Ic her i: c new ccr Ic crive. Her frienc 8eIIy wc: ncI given c
ccr cn her 17Ih LirIhccy, cnc in:Iecc gcI c jcL cnc LcughI c ccr her:e|f.

Lccking cI iI wiIh ju:I Ihe |iII|e infcrmcIicn l gcve Ic ycu cLcuI Ihem LcIh,
iI wcu|c :eem c: if /|ice i: :pci|ec, cnc 8eIIy hc: hcc Ic wcrk hcrc fcr c
ccr, righI
Hmm, LuI whcI if...
WhcI if /|ice hcncrec c prcmi:e :he mcce wiIh her pcrenI: / prcmi:e
IhcI if /|ice :Iuciec hcrc, gcI :IrcighI /: fcr Ihe :chcc| yecr, cnc cicnI
cc cny crug: cr crink, her pcrenI: prcmi:ec Ic geI her c ccr fcr her 17Ih
LirIhccy. Ncw, |ccking cI iI wiIh Ihi: ccciIicnc| infcrmcIicn, wc: /|ice
rec||y ju:I given" Ihe ccr, cr cic :he ecrn Ihe ccr Sure, :he cicnI pcy
cny mcney fcr Ihe ccr, LuI cic :he pcy fcr iI in cncIher wcy cI c||

Sc ycu :ee, whcI mcy :eem c :imp|e cn:wer, Icke: cn c cifferenI Le|ief
when ycu |cck cI Ihe fccI: c cifferenI wcy.




















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8e|ng Yourse|| Moy Not 8e Iru|y You

Ihe grecIe:I my:Iery cf |ife, i: whc we t|u|y cre."
~ /rcmi:
Frcm: Ihe Mcn in Ihe lrcn Mc:k"



Mcny :e|f-he|p Lcck: cn :e|f-imprcvemenI, ccIing, cnc inf|uence :cy IhcI
ycu :hcu|c Le ycur:e|f." 8uI whcI cce: IhcI rec||y mecn Whc i: Ic :cy
whcI ccIuc||y uc|ifie: c: ycu Leing ycur:e|f l chc||enge IhcI Ihere cre
Iime: when ycu tn|nk IhcI ycu cre Leing ycur:e|f" IhcI ycu cre ccIuc||y
Leing cnyIhing cut IhcI. l chc||enge IhcI mcny cf Ihe Iime: when we Ihink
we cre Leing whc we rec||y cre, iI i: ccIuc||y c re:u|I cf Ihree very key
e|emenI:: Ihe peop|e who |nf|uenced us, fhe emof|ons we offoched fo
fh|ngs, ond subconsc|ous refenf|on.

/|| Ihree cre ccIuc||y inIerre|cIec, Ihey c|| fue| ecch cIher. 8uI in crcer Ic
Iru|y un|ec:h ycur inner /|phc, iI i: impcrIcnI Ic :epcrcIe Ihem, :c c: Ic
mcre fine Iune whcI neec: Ic Le chcngec, whi|e hc|cing cnIc whcI
neec: Ic remcin.
Ihink cf iI |ike ycu c :urgecn, cne where ycu're cpercIing cn ycur:e|f. /nc
in Ihi: cpercIicn" Ihe Ihing: prevenIing ycu frcm un|ec:hing ycur inner
/|phc cre |ike c ccncercu: |ump. / |ump cf Ihing: IhcI cc ncI :erve Ihe
/|phc wiIhin ycu, cnc cre infecIing Ihe |ife IhcI hc: e|ucec ycu up Ic
ncw. / :urgecn cce: mcre Ihcn :imp|y rip ycu cpen, cuI cuI Ihe ccncer,
cnc |ecve. Ihe :urgecn :eek: c|| Ihe crec: where Ihe ccncer" i:,
remcve: Ihe p|cce: iI i: cI, whi|e |ecving Ihe crec: IhcI cre ncI infecIec,
cnc :IiIching" ycu c|c:ec :c ycu ccn hec| cnc Le LeIIer Ihcn ycu were.

Ihe gcc| cf Ihi: chcpIer, i: Ic Le |ike IhcI :urgecn.

Sc ncw |eI: geI :cruLLec, preppec, cnc finc||y geI IhcI ccmn |ump
remcvecl

Lcck cI cny Ihree frienc: IhcI ycu hcve grcwn up wiIh, cr knew fcr mcre
Ihcn 10 yecr: c: ycu were grcwing up.
Ycu grew up in Ihe :cme neighLcrhccc, wenI Ic Ihe :cme :chcc|, mcyLe
ycu were even IcughI Ly Ihe :cme Ieccher:, cnc hcc mcny, if ncI c||, Ihe
:cme frienc:. YeI ncne cf ycu were exccI|y Ihe :cme wcy. Ycu ecch hcc
:uLI|e cr mcjcr chcrccIer c:pecI: cifferenI Ihcn Ihe cIher:. Sure, ycu
cLvicu:|y hcc mcny cf Ihe :cme uc|iIie:, Lehcvicr:, cnc Le|ief:, which i:
why ycu were frienc: fcr cny exIencec pericc cf Iime. 8uI ycu c|wcy: hcc
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IhcI cne" frienc whc hcc mcre ccurcge Ic cc Ihe rec||y :ccry :Iuff Ihe
re:I cf ycu were Icc cfrcic Ic cc. Like mcyLe IhcI cne" frienc wc: Ihe
cn|y cne Lrcve" encugh Ic ring IhcI neighLcr: cccrLe|| cnc run, cr wc:
Ihe fir:I cne whc wcu|c Iry :cmeIhing ri:ky, cr never :eemec cfrcic Ic
:Icnc up Ic Ihe Ligger kic:. Ycu c|:c hcc IhcI cIher" frienc whc :cw
ccnger cnc pcnic in virIuc||y cnyIhing ycu cic. Ycu kncw whc lm Ic|king
cLcuI IhcI wc: Ihe frienc whc: Icg |ine :eemec Ic Le we LeIIer ncI,
we|| geI in IrcuL|e." /nc Ihe mcjcriIy cf ycu were :cmewhere in Ihe
micc|e, LeIween :cmeIime: ccing :ccry :Iuff, cnc :cmeIime: Leing Icc
:ccrec Ic cc :cmeIhing. 8uI when ycu rec||y Icke c :ericu: |cck cI Ihe:e
frienc:hip:, ycu wi|| ncIice IhcI Ihere were Iime: when ycu were
inf|uencec Ic Iry cr Le|ieve :cmeIhing IhcI ycu cic ncI wcnI Ic Iry cr cic
ncI Le|ieve pricr Ic IhcI. /nc c: c re:u|I cf Ihe:e mcmenI:, cne-Ihirc cf
Ihe rec:cn ycu cre Ihe ccu|I IhcI ycu cre Icccy, wc: crecIec.

CIher inf|uence: in IhcI percenIcge, inc|uce every :ing|e cuIhcriIcIive
figure ycu hcve ever hcc, frcm LirIh up Ic Ihe pre:enI.
/: l :IcIec in Ihe previcu: chcpIer, Le|ief: chcnge when new infcrmcIicn
i: cccepIec. Which Iypicc||y hcppen: when Ihe infcrmcIicn ccme: frcm
:cmecne we view c: cn cuIhcriIy, :cmecne we cccepI c: Leing mcre
in:ighIfu| cnc mcre experiencec Ihcn we cre.
lf ycu grcw up hecring ycur fcIher :cy Iime cnc Iime cgcin, Ycu|| never
:ucceec in |ifel" Ihere i: c VEFY gccc chcnce IhcI ycu|| Leccme cn
ccu|I whc geI: c|c:e Ic :ucce::, LuI fcr cne rec:cn cr cncIher, ycu
:IumL|e cnc ccnI uiIe mcke iI.
lf c Ieccher ycu re:pecI :cy: Ic ycu, lf ycu ccnI wcrk hcrc, ycu|| never
geI cnyIhing wcrIh hcving." Ihen Ihere i: c|:c c VEFY gccc chcnce IhcI in
ycur ccu|I |ife, when ycu receive grecI Ihing: ycu cic |iII|e cr ncIhing Ic
cIIcin, ycu|| fci| Ic :ee Ihe vc|ue cf iI, cnc eiIher |c:e iI cr |c:e inIere:I in
hcving iI.

/m l geIIing Ihrcugh Ic ycu Dc ycu uncer:Icnc where :cme cf ycur
ccu|I Lehcvicr:, Le|ief:, cnc ccIicn: mighI hcve Leen in:Ic||ec Ihrcugh
Ihing: :cic Ic ycu Ly Ihc:e cuIhcriIy figure: in ycur |ife


NcI Ic pick cn pcrenI:, LuI here: c rec| |ife excmp|e Ic c::i:I in :hcwing
ycu my pcinI:

Frcm Ihe cge cf Ihrcugh 18, Jcckie grew up wiIh cn c|cchc|ic mcIher.
Sc Jcckie: fcIher wc: Ihe cne whc wcu|c enc up cccking Ihe fccc,
geIIing Jcckie cnc her :iL|ing: Ic :chcc| cn Iime, he|p Ihem wiIh Iheir
hcmewcrk, cnc mcke :ure Ihey were we|| Icken ccre cf. Her mcIher hcc
Leen in Ihe high rcnk: cf c we|| kncwn mcrkeIing ccmpcny, cnc her
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fcIher wc: cn exce||enI crchiIecI. Sc Jcckie Legcn her fir:I yecr: |iving in c
wec|Ihy envircnmenI. 8uI when Jcckie wc: yecr: cf cge, her mcIher
wc: in c ccr cccicenI. /: c re:u|I cf Ihe cccicenI, her mcIher wc: nc
|cnger cL|e Ic wcrk cI her ccmpcny, ncr cL|e Ic funcIicn we|| even wiIh
pcrI Iime wcrk, cnc Legcn cc||ecIing ci:cLi|iIy pcymenI:. Jcckie': mcIher
wc: :cmecne whc hcc c|wcy: Iriec Ic mcke Ihing: wcrk wiIhcuI neecing
cnycne': he|p. Ihi: Leccme c prcL|em cfIer Ihe cccicenI, :ince :he wc:
ncw hcving Ic re|y cfIen cn her hu:Lcnc cnc chi|cren Ic he|p her wiIh
Ihing:. /: c re:u|I, her mcIher Legcn crinking mcre, cnc crinking mcre
cfIen. Ic Ihe pcinI IhcI mc:I cf her ccy: were :penI crinking cr pc::ec cuI
crunk. Ihi: puI c huge :Ircin cn Ihe mcrricge, Ihe fincnce:, cnc cf ccur:e,
ccu:ec prcL|em: wiIh Ihe enIire fcmi|y. Which re:u|Iec in Ihe fcmi|y
hcving Ic ccju:I Ic cn envircnmenI cf |e:: wec|Ih Ihcn Lefcre, cnc Ihe
kic: hcving Ic he|p wiIh Ihe Ihing: crcunc Ihe hcu:e IhcI mcm wc: in nc
ccnciIicn Ic cc her:e|f.
F|c:h-fcrwcrc 25 yecr:, Jcckie crcppec cuI cf cc||ege ju:I 10 creciI: :hy cf
c cegree. She uick|y impre::ec her Lc::e: cI necr|y every jcL :he Legcn
{:he'c hcc cI Ihi: pcinI), cn|y Ic evenIuc||y cc :cmeIhing IhcI gcI her
firec cr cemcIec. Jcckie Legcn Icking meciccIicn fcr cepre::icn, which
:he ccmiIIec Ic me :he Leccme cccicIec Ic, cnc cfIen cvermeciccIec
:c :he ccu|c numL her:e|f. Ihi: numLne::" cffecIec her jcL
perfcrmcnce, which cffecIec her vc|ue wiIh Ihe ccmpcnie: :he wcrkec
fcr. /nc cfIer :cme very :ericu: prcLing cn my pcrI, l ci:ccverec cne cf
Ihe rec:cn: Jcckie crrivec cI Ihi: p|cce in her |ife. lI :eem: IhcI when
Jcckie wc: 11 yecr: cf cge, her mcIher hcc gcIIen :c crunk cnc :c
:crecming |cuc, IhcI neighLcr: IhcughI :he wc: Leing cIIcckec Ly
Jcckie: fcIher, cnc he wc: necr|y crre:Iec. Cnce Ihe pc|ice |efI, cnc her
mcIher hcc pc::ec cuI fcr Ihe nighI, her fcIher hcc c Ic|k wiIh her. He
:cic, in pcrI, Ycu cre ycur mcIher: chi|c, :c c pcrI cf her i: ycu. 8uI never
Leccme whcI :he hc: Leccme, Leccme :cmecne cifferenI."
Since Jcckie re:pecIec her fcIher, cnc Iru:Iec her fcIher {mecning he
wc: cn cuIhcriIy figure, geI iI) :he Le|ievec hi: wcrc:, Ihu: cccepIing
whcI he :cic. We||, Ihe minc i: Ihere Ic he|p u:, :c when we cccepI
:cmeIhing c: Irue, iI finc: wcy: Ic :uppcrI IhcI, cnc Ic mcke iI hcppen
hcwever pc::iL|e.
Cn Ihe :urfcce, iI wcu|c :eem |ike he gcve her gccc ccvice. 8uI when
ycu rec||y |cck cI whcI he :cic, ycu ccn ncIice cn inIere:Iing mixec
me::cge. Ihi: i: ju:I my cpinicn, LuI he Legcn Ly :cying, e::enIic||y, IhcI
Jcckie i: pcrI|y ju:I |ike her mcIher, LuI :he :hcu|c Le IhcI in c cifferenI
wcy.
ln Jcckie: cc:e, :he Leccme c pcrI cf her mcIher (cp|n|cnctec. wcnt|ng
tc get tn|ng: ccne w|tncut ne|p ||cn ctne|:. ceccn|ng ccc|ctec tc
:cnetn|ng tc nunc ne|:e||} LuI cifferenI (u:|ng c|ug: |n:tecc c| c|ccnc| tc
get nunc.}
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l cm in nc wcy :cying her fcIher cic cnyIhing wrcng. l :ericu:|y ccuLI IhcI
he inIenIicnc||y inf|uencec her in Ihe cirecIicn :he wenI. 8uI iI cce: :hcw
hcw whcI ccn :eem |ike enccurcgemenI Ic Ihe ecr:, Leccme:
:cmeIhing fcr |e:: empcwering Ic Ihe minc.

/nc IhcI Lring: u: Ic Ihe Ihirc e|emenI l :pcke cf, :uLccn:cicu: reIenIicnl

SuLccn:cicu: reIenIicn cce: ncI exi:I. Which mecn: iI: ncIhing ycu ccn
:ee, Icuch, Ic:Ie, cr :me||. ln fccI, lm ncI even :ure if :uLccn:cicu:
reIenIicn" i: c rec| mecicc| Ierm IhcI exi:I:. l ju:I IhcughI cf IhcI ncme Ic
ce:criLe whcI l cm cLcuI Ic ci:cu:: wiIh ycu (Hnn. ncyce |
:ucccn:c|cu:|y |etc|nec ncv|ng cve|nec|c |t cnce cu||ng c p:ycnc|cgy
c|c::|}

Ic me, in my rec|iIy, :uLccn:cicu: reIenIicn cre Ihc:e Ihing: weve
reIcinec in:ice cur minc, which we eiIher cic ncI cuciL|y hecr, cr wc: :cic
curing c vcrieIy cf cIher Ihing: we were hecring cI Ihe Iime. /nc iI i:
c|reccy c very we|| kncwn fccI (:c |c| cnywcy} IhcI Ihe emcIicn: we
cIIcch Ic evenI:, inf|uence hcw we Lehcve when :imi|cr cr repecI: cf Ihe
evenI: cccur. (e.g. Ycu nec| c ce|tc|n :cng. |t ncke: ycu |ee| c ce|tc|n
wcy. ncyce even |en|nc: ycu c| c ce|tc|n nenc|y. C|. tne |||:t t|ne ycu
|e|| |n |cve |t wc: w|tn c |ecnecc. :c ycu ncve c p|e|e|ence |c|
|ecnecc:...:cne F:ycnc|cg|:t: wcu|c :cy tne p|e|e|ence |: |e|ctec tc ycu|
nctne| ce|ng c |ecnecc. cut |'n nct c F|euc|cn. :c cugge| tnct| } Sc if
IhcI: Irue cn Ihe ccn:cicu: |eve|, iI ju:I mcke: :en:e IhcI iI wcu|c Le Irue
cn Ihe :uLccn:cicu: |eve|.

Fcr excmp|e...

LeI u: preIenc Ihere i: c |iII|e Lcy ncmec 8cLLy. /nc |eI u: furIher
preIenc IhcI 8cLLy i: in KincergcrIen. Cne ccy, whi|e in :chcc|, 8cLLy i:
hcving rece:: in Ihe :cncLcx. /: 8cLLy cig: Ihrcugh Ihe :cnc, preIencing
he i: c pircIe :eeking Luriec Irec:ure, hecring Ihe :cunc: crcunc him LuI
ncI pcying cny ccn:cicu: cIIenIicn, hi: Ieccher i: :cc|cing cncIher |iII|e
Lcy. IhcI cIher |iII|e Lcy hcc ju:I |ifIec up Mcry McrgcreI: cre::, cnc he
gcI Ic|c cnl /nc ju:I c: 8cLLy finc: c penny IhcI hcc Leen hiccen uncer
Ihe :cnc, 8cLLy: Ieccher :cy: Ic IhcI cIher |iII|e Lcy, IhcI i: very Lccl
Ycu cre ncI :uppc:ec Ic |cck uncer Ihere, cnc ycu cre ncI :uppc:ec Ic
:ee IhcIl" We||, :ince 8cLLy: Ieccher i: cn cuIhcriIy figure, cne he hc:
Leen Ic|c Ly hi: pcrenI: {c|:c cutnc||ty ||gu|e:) i: :cmecne he neec: Ic
|i:Ien Ic cnc cLey, 8cLLy cccepI: whcI hi: Ieccher :cic. GrcnIec, 8cLLy
cicnI ccn:cicu:|y hecr Ihe wcrc:, LuI :uLccn:cicu:|y he hecrc every
wcrc. /nc :ince whcI he hecrc" :eemec Ic Le referring Ic whcI he hcc
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Leen ccing, 8cLLy reIcinec Ihe infcrmcIicn, which inf|uencec hi: fuIure
ccIicn:. Ncw, Lc:ec cn 8cLLy: pe|cept|cn cf which Ihing he hcc Leen
ccing wc: wrcng, he mighI Legin Ic :uccen|y |c:e inIere:I in p|cying in
Ihe :cncLcx, cr he mighI p|cy in Ihe :cncLcx LuI ncI cig much cr ncI cig
cI c||, cr 8cLLy mighI ceve|cp c Lcc fee|ing cLcuI pennie:, cr mcney.
Ihere cre c numLer cf Ihing: IhcI ccn ceve|cp frcm Ihi:, cnc virIuc||y c||
cf Ihem wi|| re:u|I in Ihe ccu|I 8cLLy hcving nc icec why he fee|: IhcI
wcy. Nc ccn:cicu:|y cnywcy.

Here: cncIher excmp|e...

Ihere i: LcLy NcIc|ie, :iIIing in Ihe grccery ccrI IhcI Mcmmy pu:he: her in,
c: Ihey mcve Ihrcugh Ihe :Icre. Ihen cnce Mcmmy |ccc: c|| Ihe Ihing:
:he i: gcing Ic Luy, inIc Ihe grccery ccrI, :he pu:he: Ihe ccrI, wiIh LcLy
NcIc|ie, Ic cn cpen check-cuI ccunIer. /: Mcmmy i: Icking Ihing: cuI cf
Ihe ccrI cnc p|ccing Ihem cn Ihe ccunIer, LcLy NcIc|ie :ee: :cmeIhing
IhcI ccIche: her eye. lI hc: |cI: cf LrighI cc|cr:, cnc :cme funny |ccking
crecIure: cn iI, cnc cne ccy :he wi|| |ecrn Ihe:e cre cc||ec Lc||ccn:. 8cLy
NcIc|ie wcnI: c c|c:er |cck, :c :he Irie: Ic recch fcr iI. 8uI ju:I c: :he cce:,
in Ihe check-cuI ccunIer nexI Ic her, :he hecr: cn cngry vcice.
She cce: ncI kncw whcI Ihe wcrc:, NcIhcn, :Icp kicking ycur LrcIherl"
mecn:, :he cn|y kncw: iI i: Leing :cic in cn cngry vcice. Every Iime LcLy
NcIc|ie hc: hecrc cn cngry vcice, iI mecnI her Mcmmy cr cne cf Ihc:e
cIher huge ver:icn: cf LcLie:, cic ncI |ike whcI wc: hcppening. 8uI LcLy
NcIc|ie cce: ncI cry, :he ju:I |cck: cI her Mcmmy, whc :mi|e: cI her,
which mcke: LcLy NcIc|ie :mi|e.
/: cn ccu|I, NcIc|ie mighI ccrry Ihi: experience wiIh her in c numLer cf
wcy:. She mighI hcve grcwn up hcving c ci:|ike fcr Lc||ccn:. She mighI
hcve fe|I cfrcic cf Lc||ccn:. She mighI hcve cn|y |ikec Lc||ccn: when her
McIher wc: crcunc {:t|cnge. cut pc::|c|e). She mighI hcve ceve|cpec c
ci:|ike fcr whcIever cc|cr: Ihe Lc||ccn: were IhcI ccy in Ihe grccery :Icre.

Drecm: cre cncIher excmp|e cf :uLccn:cicu: reIenIicn. E:pecic||y if ycu
hcve c recccurring crecm, cnc ycure ncI :ure whcI iI mecn:.
/ frienc cf mine, ncmec Lincc 8. Ic|c me c very inIere:Iing :Icry, cLcuI c
crecm :he hcc Leen hcving fcr mcny, mcny yecr:. Here iI i:...


| u:ec tc ncve tn|: c|ecn. wne|e |'n :|tt|ng |n tn|: ccct. |t': ||ke tne
n|cc|e c| tne n|gnt. cnc c|| c|cunc tne cut:|ce c| tn|: ccct c|e c|cccc||e:.
| wcnt tc unp ||cn tne ccct. cut | ccn't wcnt tne c|cccc||e: tc nu|t ne.
:c | u:t :tcy |n tne ccct. |'ve ncc tnct :cne c|ecn |c| c: |c| ccck c: |
kncw. cnc | neve| unce|:tccc wnct |t necnt. c| wny | wc: c|ecn|ng |t :c
nucn. 8ut tn|: cne t|ne. nct ve|y |cng cgc. ny cunt wc: v|:|t|ng ne. cnc
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cu||ng tne ccnve|:ct|cn :ne nent|cnec :cnetn|ng tc ne tnct ncppenec
wnen | wc: cccut tn|ee-yec|: c|c. Sne :c|c tnct ny ncn wcntec tc
ncke :u|e tnct wnen | wc: put tc cec. tnct | :tcyec tne|e tne |e:t c| tne
n|gnt. Sne :c|c tnct ny ncn tc|c ne tnct ny cec wc: c ccct. cnc tnct |
ncc tc :tcy |n tn|: ccct. ceccu:e || | c||ncec cut tne|e we|e tn|ng: |n ny
|ccn tnct we|e ||ke c|cccc||e:. tnct tne:e tn|ng: ccu|c nu|t ne. Wnen ny
cunt tc|c ne tn|:. |'n :u|e | wc: :tc||ng ct ne| w|tn tn|: |cck c| 'Cn ny
gcc' ceccu:e | neve| |ecc||ec ny ncn te|||ng ne tnct. Anc tnct wc:
wny | ncc ceen ncv|ng tnct :cne c|ecn |c| :c ncny yec|:.

Ihe pcinI i:, we cre cfIen inf|uencec in wcy: grcwing up, IhcI c: ccu|I: we
hcve nc ccn:cicu: c|ue WHY we Lehcve cr reccI c cerIcin wcy.
Ihink cLcuI IhcI...finc :cmeIhing ycu cc, cr c Lehcvicr IhcI ycu hcve, IhcI
c: ycu Ihink cLcuI WHY ycu cc iI, ycur cn|y cn:wer: :eem: Ic Le, l
cunnc" cr lve c|wcy: Leen IhcI wcy."

lm uiIe cerIcin ycu ccn recc|| cI LE/SI cne.

/nc c: ycu rec|ize IH/I, iI Leccme: mcre Le|ievcL|e IhcI mcyLe whc
ycu tncugnt ycu were, wc: rec||y whc ycu ccceptec ycu hcc Ic Le, in
wcy: ycu never rec|izec ycu hcc ccnIrc| cver. Sc if ycu cccepIec Ihe:e
Ihing:, even Ihcugh iI wc: cn c :uLccn:cicu: |eve|, ycu ccn c|:c
UNcccepI Ihem. /fIer c||, Ihere wc: c Iime when ycu cccepIec IhcI
pccping in c cicper wc: ckcy, LuI ycu ccnI cccepI IhcI cnymcre,
Leccu:e ycu fcunc cncIher wcy Ic cc Ihe ccc. {Sc||y. tnct wc: w||tten
w|tn ny :ucccn:c|cu: n|nc. | w|cte |t w|tncut kncw|ng wny| HcHcHcHc)

Cn c very :ericu: |eve|, ycu neec Ic cc c ccmp|eIe menIc| check cn
ycur:e|f. Ycu neec Ic WFlIE DCWN c: mcny Ihing: IhcI ycu ccn Ihink cf
IhcI ycu cc Leccu:e l cunnc" cr lve c|wcy: Leen IhcI wcy."
Icke c: |cng c: ycu neec Ic, cnc wriIe Ihem c|| ccwn. ln fccI, ccrry c
pcckeI ncIeLcck cnc c pen, :c ycu ccn wriIe ccwn Ihing: ycu recc||
|cIer, c: ycure ccing whcIever ycure ccing cI Ihe Iime.

/: ycu wriIe Ihe:e Ihing: ccwn, ycure gcing Ic finc IhcI :cme cre Ihing:
which :erve ycu, whi|e cIher Ihing: hincer ycu. 8uI even IH/I i: cn|y c:
Irue c: Ihe Ycu" ycu cre viewing iI Ihrcugh.

WhcI l mecn i:, Ihere cre Ihing: ycu hcve |cng cccepIec c: Leing Ihe
Le:I IhcI ycu ccn cc, Ihe mc:I IhcI ycu ccn geI, cnc Ihe |imiI: IhcI ycu
ccn recch. Sc cepencing cn hcw c|c ycu cre, ycuve :penI mcny yecr:
|iving c |ife Ihrcugh IH/I rec|iIy. Ihe rec|iIy cf Ihi: i: whc lve Leccme,
Leccu:e IhcI i: whc l cm, Ihe gccc cnc Ihe Lcc."

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8uI :cme pcrI cf ycu kncw: IhcI: ncI Irue. /nc Ihe fccI IhcI ycure
reccing Ihi: i: ycur cwn prccf cf IhcIl
Ihink cLcuI IhcIl
lf ycu IFULY Le|ieve IhcI ycu're c|reccy Ihe per:cn ycu're :uppc:ec Ic
Le, IhcI whc ycu c|reccy cre i: whc ycu wi|| c|wcy: Le, Ihen ycu never
wcu|c hcve recc Ihi: Lcck, ycu wcu|cnI hcve fe|I Ihe neec Ic. Ihere cre
Ihcu:cnc: upcn mi||icn: cf Lcck: cn Ihi: p|cneI, yeI Ihi: i: cne cf Ihe Lcck:
ycu chc:e Ic recc. Ihere: c rec:cn fcr IhcI, cnc Ihe rec:cn i: Ihi::

Deep w|th|n, you know there's more to you, ond more thot you wont,
ond you wont to ||nd |tI

/nc lm wi||ing Ic LeI IhcI ycuve Leen Irying Ic finc iI fcr :cme Iime. Ihi: i:
NCI Ihe fir:I :e|f-he|p Lcck ycuve recc, i: iI. Ihi: Lcck i: cn|y Ihe mc:I
recent cf pc:I :e|f-he|p Lcck: IhcI ycuve recc. /nc Ihe cn|y rec:cn l
kncw IhcI, i: Leccu:e cn|y Ihc:e whc :en:e Ihey ccn Le MCFE Ihcn Ihey
currenI|y cre, wcu|c ever hcve cny inIere:I in c Lcck |ike Ihi: cne.

8i||icncire: ccnI p|cy Ihe |cIIery, Fi:h ccnI migrcIe Ic Ihe ce:erI, cnc
pecp|e ccnI recc Lcck: cn hcw Ic Le |e:: Ihcn Ihey c|reccy cre.

Sc ncw IhcI l hcve ycur cIIenIicn, mcyLe mcre :c ncw Ihcn when ycu fir:I
Legcn Ihi: Lcck, iI: Iime Ic geI inIc Ihe mcre :ericu: pcrI: cf cur jcurney.
lve Ic|c ycu :Icrie:, lve :hcrec :cme inIere:Iing nuggeI: cf kncw|ecge,
cnc lve (ncpe|u||y} mcce ycu |cugh cI |ec:I c few Iime:. /nc ncw
ccme: Ihe pcrI where ycu cecice if ycu wcnI Ic ccnIinue wiIh me, cr if
ycu wcnI Ic :Icy where ycu cre, wiIh whcI ycuve c|reccy |ecrnec frcm
me.

lf ycu :Icp ncw, lm egcIi:Iicc| encugh Ic Le|ieve IhcI whcI lve :hcrec :c
fcr wi|| c|reccy ccc Iremenccu: vc|ue Ic ycur |ife. 8uI l ccnI :eII|e fcr
Iremenccu:, l wcnI Ic gc fcr Ircn:fcrmcIicnc|l

l hcve ncI |iec Ic ycu yeI, cnc l cm ncI gcing Ic |ie Ic ycu ncw, Ihe nexI
chcpIer IS gcing Ic Icke effcrI, cnc per:i:Ience, in crcer fcr ycu Ic mcke iI
wcrk fcr ycur:e|f. YES, iI: gcing Ic Le hcrc. 8uI cn|y c: hcrc c: Ihe
re:i:Icnce ycu hcve wiIh whcI ycur fcrmer :e|f i: Irying Ic c|ing Ic, cnc
wiIh whcI ycur Irue :e|f i: wi||ing Ic fighI Ic hcve.

Lc:I chcnce....Feccy...



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55


8u||d|ng on A|pho Fersono||ty, Fort Iwo


ln Ihe |c:I chcpIer, l in:IrucIec ycu Ic wriIe ccwn c: mcny cf Ihe Ihing:
ycu cc in ycur |ife IhcI, when ycu c:k ycur:e|f why ycu cre IhcI wcy, ycu
ccn cn|y :eem Ic cn:wer wiIh l cunnc" cr lve c|wcy: Leen IhcI wcy."
We||, l wcnI ycu Ic Icke IEN SCLlD MlNUIES Ic cc whcI i: cc||ec free
c::ccicIive wriIing." Since whcI were wcrking cn cre Ihing: in ycur
:uLccn:cicu:, we neec Ic |eI IhcI pcrI cf ycur minc Le fu||y in chcrge
righI ncw. Sc recc Ihe fc||cwing 4 :Iep:, Ihen geI Ic iI.

1.
Icke cuI ycur jcurnc| {cr c pcc cf pcper) DO NOI J5F YOJk COMFJIFk,
YOJ WlLL NFFD IO FHY5lCALLY WklIF, NOI IYFF.

2.
Hc|c c fu||y :hcrpenec penci|, cr c re|icL|e ink pen in ycur hcnc, Ihen :iI
ccwn wiIh ycur jcurnc| cr pcc cf pcper cn Ihe IcL|e/ce:k in frcnI cf ycu.

3.
lf ycu hcve :cme kinc cf c|crm (wctcn. ce|| pncne. egg t|ne|. etc.} :eI iI
fcr 11 minuIe: {ycu|| Le u:ing 1 cf Ihe 10 reuirec minuIe: Ic geI
ccmfcrIcL|e cnc reccy Ic wriIe)

4.
Fecc Ihe wcrc: LeIween Ihe ~" :ymLc|: Le|cw, CNE IlME CNLY, Ihen
Legin Ic wriIe WlIHCUI IHlNKlNG CF WH/I YCUFE /8CUI IC WFlIE (ne
:ucccn:c|cu: w||| k|ck |n. t|u:t ycu|:e||. Cn. cnc ccn't ce ccnce|nec || |t
:een: ||ke ycu'|e w||t|ng :|cppy. ne pc|nt |: tc get |t WF|FN. nct pe||ect}

/nc.....GCl



~ Wnct': tne c|||e|ence cetween wnc | tn|nk | cn. cnc wnc | t|u|y cn ~




Hey, ccnI recc Ihi:, geI Ic wriIingl See ycu in 10 minuIe:.


Ckcy, we|ccme Lcckl
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56


Since free c::ccicIive wriIing i: pc::iL|y :cmeIhing ycuve never ccne
Lefcre, fcrgive ycur:e|f if ycu checIec" cnc fcunc ycur:e|f Ihinking cf
whcI Ic wriIe cI cifferenI pcinI: curing Ihe exerci:e. lm ncI gcing Ic
puni:h ycu fcr iI, c: |cng c: ycu ccmmiIIec Ic ccIuc||y DClNG Ihe
exerci:e, in:Iecc cf Leing weck cnc :kipping iI. lf ycu :kippec iI, ycu rec||y
checIec ycur:e|f cuI cf :eeing c g|imp:e cf whcI ycu cre Iru|y, ceep|y,
mcce cf. /nc fcr IhcI, l puni:h ycu Ly :IcIing IhcI if ycu were Icc weck Ic
cc IH/I exerci:e, ycure Icc weck Ic gc cny furIher, Leccu:e Ihi: i: cn|y
gcing Ic geI hcrcer fcr ycul NcIhing cf vc|ue i: cpprecicIec if ycu cc ncI
L|eec" c |iII|e fcr Ihe ccu:e. Sc eiIher gc Lcck cnc cc Ihe exerci:e, cr
wc:Ie mcre cf ycur cwn Iime reccing c Lcck ycure ncI gcing Ic u:e
cnywcy.
Ncw, if ycu DlD cc Ihe exerci:e, rewcrc ycur:e|f wiIh c, Yec, mel" Ycu
ncw hcve cne LESS :Iep Ic Icke cn Ihi: jcurney, cnc ecch :Iep IhcI fc||cw:
WlLL Lui|c ycur mcmenIum, cnc pu:h ycu fc:Ier cnc fcrIher Ihcn ycu
mighI Ihink cI Ihi: mcmenI.

Hcving ccne Ihi: exerci:e, Icke c|| Ihe Iime IhcI ycu neec, Ic recc whcI
ycu wrcIe, cnc :ee if ycu ncIice cnyIhing IhcI ycu mighI ncI hcve
rec|izec ycu hcc wriIIen. lI mighI Le :cmeIhing ycu :u:pecIec cLcuI
ycur:e|f in Ihe Lcck cf ycur minc, cr iI mighI Le :cmeIhing ycu never
Le|ievec cLcuI ycur:e|f LuI hcve hecrc cIher pecp|e :cy iI cLcuI ycu, cr
iI mighI Le :cmeIhing ycu never even ccn:icerec cLcuI ycur:e|f.
Ihere 8EIIEF Le :cme in Ihere, cIherwi:e ycu werenI ccing free
c::ccicIicn, ycu were ccing Ihink, wriIe, Ihink, wriIe."

Cnce ycu hcve fcunc Ihem c||, I/KE IHE CNE IH/I YCU /FE IHE MCSI
SUFFFlSED IC SEE YCU WFCIE cnc wriIe iI mcre necI|y cn c :epcrcIe
pcge, cr u:e Ihe prcvicec :pcce Le|cw


________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________


Ihe rec:cn l hcve ycu wriIing Ihe cne ycu cre Ihe mc:I :urpri:ec cLcuI, i:
Leccu:e iI i: Ihe mc:I |ike|y Ic Le c IFUE :uLccn:cicu: cn:wer. /nc we
ccn geI c gccc :IcrI wiIh IhcI.

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57



Ckcy, :c ycu wrcIe iI ccwn. Ncw whcI
Ncw l wcnI ycu Ic recc iI c few Iime:. Gc checc, recc iI.

Hcving ncw recc iI c few Iime:, l wcnI ycu Ic Icke :cme Iime Ic Ihink.
Ihink cLcuI whcI Lehcvicr: cnc Le|ief: cnc hcLiI: cnc experience: mighI
Le ccnnecIec Ic iI.

Fcr excmp|e, if Ihe cne ycu wrcIe ccwn wc:, | |et ctne| pecp|e cec|ce
wnct |: ce:t |c| ne cut | tn|nk |t': ny cwn cec|:|cn.
WiIh IhcI, ycu mighI Le cL|e Ic recc|| c ccnnecIicn LeIween IhcI cnc
hcw ycur mcm wcu|c :cy :he wc: gcing Ic cc cne Ihing, LuI Leccu:e cf
:cmeIhing :cmecne :cic, :he cic :cmeIhing e|:e, yeI c|cimec iI wc: her
cwn ceci:icn. Cr ycu mighI :uccen|y rec|ize IhcI ycu hcve c hcLiI cf
Icking creciI fcr icec: ycu hecrc frcm :cmecne e|:e. Cr ycu mighI finc c
ccnnecIicn LeIween whcI ycu wrcIe cnc Ihe Le|ief ycu hcve cLcuI
|eIIing ycur ccIe c|wcy: chcc:e Ihe re:IcurcnI ycu gc Ic.
Ihere cre mcny, mcny, pc::iL|e ccnnecIicn:, cnc ycu|| finc mcre cf Ihem
ccming Ic ycu IhrcughcuI ycur ccy cr even c week cr :c frcm ncw.

l wcu|c :ugge:I wriIing Ihem ccwn in ycur jcurnc|, :c ycu ccn refer Lcck
Ic Ihem cgcin cnc cgcin

Cnce c week {c| tw|ce c week || ycu |ec|n tc ||nc tne t|ne tc cc |t) fcr
CNE FULL MCNIH, ccme Lcck Ic Ihi:.


















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58


"Accomp||sh|ng or Accommodof|ng?"


When ycuve gcIIen Ihe re:u|I frcm Ihe gcc| ycu were ciming fcr, ycu
hcve ccccmp|i:hec" iI. When ycu cec| wiIh :cmecne, :pecificc||y
:cmecne whc: ccnIriLuIicn cn :cme |eve| he|p: ncve ycu Icwcrc
geIIing ycur gcc|, ycu :cmeIime: hcve Ic ccccmmcccIe" Ihem. {Dc
Ihem c fcvcr, cr ccmmiI Ic ccing Ihem c fcvcr, cr Le mcre pcIienI cLcuI
:cmeIhing ycu ncrmc||y wcu|c ncI.)
/: c 8eIc, Ihi: i: exIreme|y u:efu| c: ycu prcgre:: in un|ec:hing ycur /|phc.
8uI, Ihe 8eIc IhcI ycu c|e, cnc Ihe /|phc IhcI ycu wi|| ceccne, i: gcing Ic
cepenc cn Ihe bo|once cf ccccmp|i:hmenI" cnc ccccmmcccIicn"
IhcI ycu mcinIcin.
/nc IhcI Lc|cnce Legin: wiIh ycur inIenI, ycur mcIive, cnc ycur
per:pecIive. 8|encec Ihrcugh Ihe:e Ihree pcrI:, i: ycur wi||ingne:: Ic Iry
new Ihing:.
Whenever we cpprccch :cmeIhing in c cifferenI wcy, ycu ccn :cmeIime:
fee| unccmfcrIcL|e, cr iI mighI fee| unncIurc|" cr even uneIhicc|. EIhic: i:
:uLjecIive, fcr Ihe mc:I pcrI, Lc:ec cn inIenI, mcIive, cnc per:pecIive. lf
ycur inIenI i: Ic hcrm, i: IhcI uneIhicc| We||, if iI: hcrm Icwcrc cn
innccenI vicIim, l wcu|c :cy YES. lf iI: hcrm Icwcrc c Ierrcri:I, Ihen l wcu|c
|ike|y :cy NC, e:pecic||y if ycu cre in ycur ccunIry: mi|iIcry :ervice. 8uI
whcI if IhcI Ierrcri:I i: c :mc|| chi|c whc wc: cn|y fc||cwing whcI Ihey were
IcughI Wcu|c IhcI chi|c Le cn innccenI vicIim
See ncw hcw eIhic: ccn Le :uLjecIive
(| cn |n nc wcy ce|enc|ng te||c||:n. u:t u:|ng c ve|y we|| kncwn tcp|c c:
cn excnp|e}

Intent, i: whcI ycur p|cn i:, whcI ycu p|cn cn ccing, cr geI ccne.
Mot|ve, i: ycur |ec:cn fcr Ihe p|cn. ln cIher wcrc:, when ycu Ihink cf ycur
p|cn, iI: why ycu hcve IhcI pcrIicu|cr p|cn.
Ferspect|ve, i: hcw ycu view Ihe Ihing: ycu cc, cnc Ihe :urrcuncing
circum:Icnce: c|cng Ihe wcy, c: we|| c: Ihe re:u|I: ycu :ee hcppening {cr
nct hcppening).

8uI l cigre::...

Irying new Ihing:, Icking c cifferenI cpprccch, i: necnt Ic Le c |iII|e :ccry,
c |iII|e unccmfcrIcL|e :cmeIime:. /ccepI iI, emLrcce iI, Leccu:e IhcI
fee|ing cf ci:ccmfcrI hc: :uch cmczing pcwer if ycu c||cw ycur:e|f Ic |et |tl
/nc fecr, i: ncIhing mcre Ihcn cn cnIicipcIicn cf :cmeIhing unkncwn, cr
in mcny cc:e:, CF SCMEIHlNG IH/I H/SNI EVEN H/FFENED YEIl
WiIhcuI Ihe fecr cnc ci:ccmfcrI cI Iime:, ycu wcu|c ncI give IhcughI Ic
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59


wcnIing :cmeIhing cifferenI, :cmeIhing mcre fu|fi||ing, Ihcn ycu c|reccy
hcve. WiIhcuI tnct, ycu wcu|c ncI even Iry, much |e:: Iry new Ihing:, in
new wcy:, fcr new rec:cn:. New rec:cn: IhcI wi|| mcIivcIe ycur:e|f Ic cc
Ihe Ihing: ycu neec Ic, in crcer Ic geI iI ccne, cnc cver wiIh, :c ycu ccn
enjcy where ycuve crrivecl /nc IH/I i: when ycu wi|| grcw, cnc
ccvcnce, cnc evc|ve. /: if |ike c LrecIh upcn Ihe emLer:" IhcI igniIe Ihe
fire, which wi|| un|ec:h Ihe phcenix IhcI i: ycur /|phc.

Sc hcw cc ycu geI IhcI fecr cnc ci:ccmfcrI Ic wcrk |c| ycu Ihe cn:wer,
i:...ccmmuniccIicn.

Nc mcIIer whcI ycu cc in |ife, ycu wi|| hcve Ic Ic|k Ic cIher pecp|e. Ycu
wi|| hcve Ic ccmmuniccIe ycur view:, cpinicn:, wcnI:, neec:, ce:ire:,
ci:Ic:Ie, ci:cppcinImenI:, :cIi:fccIicn, preIIy much everyIhing.
IhcI Leing Irue, ycu wi|| neec Ic Ircin ycur:e|f Ic Le effecIive in ycur
ccmmuniccIicn, if ycu wcnI Ic geI c fcvcrcL|e re:u|I. /fIer c||, hcw ccn
ycu expecI cIher: Ic uncer:Icnc whcI ycu wcnI, if ycu ccnI even
verLc|ize iI Ic ycur:e|f
Ihe /|phc i: cL|e Ic verLc|ize Ic him cr her :e|f c|ecr|y, Lefcre verLc|izing
Ic cIher:. Fcr Icc cfIen, c per:cn wi|| geI cn icec cr cn in:pircIicn, yeI wi||
ncI Ihink iI Ihrcugh cr finc c wcy Ic :imp|ify iI, Lefcre cIIempIing Ic :hcre
IhcI icec cr in:pircIicn wiIh cIher:. /nc iI :eem: Ic me IhcI Ihere cre 2
rec:cn: why Ihi: hcppen:. Ycu eiIher geI |c:I in Ihe emcIicn: cnc menIc|
imcge: {cnc inIernc| cic|cgue IhcI gce: wiIh iI) cf Ihe icec cr in:pircIicn,
cr ycu geI Icc ci:IrccIec.
GeIIing |c:I in Ihe emcIicn: cnc imcge:, i: c re:u|I cf wcnIing IhcI
cuIccme :c much, IhcI ycu cwe|| cn c|reccy hcving iI, rcIher Ihcn
cwe||ing cn exccI|y hcw Ic gc cLcuI mcking iI ccIuc||y hcppen. Which cf
ccur:e i: why ycu geI ci:cppcinIec. Ycu ccnI enjcy :cmeIhing fcr very
|cng if iI cce:nI ccIuc||y hcppen. /I :cme pcinI, ycu ncIice IhcI ycu
hcvenI yeI ccccmp|i:hec iI, cnc :ince ycu cicnI ccmmuniccIe wiIh
ycur:e|f hcw Ic gc cLcuI ccccmp|i:hing iI, ycu fee| |ike iI mighI ncI ever
Leccme rec|. Ihe cIher :ice cf Ihi:, i: IhcI ycu cre cwe||ing cn Ihe
un|ike|ihccc cf hcving iI, ycu cwe|| cn Ihe menIc| imcge: cf iI ncI wcrking
cuI, ycu hecr Ihi: vcice in:ice ycur minc IhcI ue:Iicn: cnc ccuLI: cnc
expre::e: fecr, :c ycu gc checc cnc fee| Ihe |c:: cf :cmeIhing ycu cicnI
even gcin in Ihe fir:I p|cce.
Ihe minc cf c 8eIc i: :penI fcr Icc much cn hcping" cnc fcr Icc |e:: cn
ccccmp|i:hing." Ihe /|phc: mcin menIc| imcge: cre cf hcw :cmeIhing
ccu|c Le ccccmp|i:hec, whi|e c 8eIc: mcin menIc| imcge: cre cf hcw iI
mighI wcrk, cnc hcw iI mighI nct wcrk. Ihe cifference Leing, Ihe /|phc
u:e: hi: cr her minc Ic fcre:ee pc::iL|e cL:Icc|e:, :c c: Ic ccju:I cnc hcve
c|IerncIe wcy: cf :Ii|| gcining Ihe ccccmp|i:hmenI. Ihe 8eIc, when
fcre:eeing pc::iL|e cL:Icc|e:, i: ci:ccurcgec Ly Ihe pc::iL|e cL:Icc|e:,
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60


in:Iecc cf Leing enccurcgec Ic finc c|IerncIe pc::iLi|iIie:.
Here i: where cn /|phc i: mc:I cifferenI. Ihe /|phc u:e: hi: cr her minc c:
c Icc|, ncI c: c Le-c|| :curce fcr whcI i: pc::iL|e cnc impc::iL|e. Ihe
/|phc kncw: IhcI Ihe |iII|e vcice in:ice my hecc" i: Ihere Ic :erve c
purpc:e, cnc IhcI Ihe purpc:e i: whcIever Ihe /|phc chcc:e: Ic fccu: cn.
Ihe :cme i: ccIuc||y Irue cf c 8eIc, LuI Ihe 8eIc i: cirecIec Ly Ihe vcice,
wherec: Ihe /|phc cirecI: Ihe vcice. Uncer:Icnc

Sc ncw cc | get |n tne ncc|t c| c||ect|ng tne vc|ce

Gccc ue:Iicn, iI mecn: ycure wi||ing Ic |ecrnl
/: :imp|e c: iI :cunc:, cirecIing ycur inIernc| vcice cn|y reuire: IhcI ycu
cwe|| cn :c|uIicn:" in:Iecc cf cL:Icc|e:." Uncer:Icnc IhcI Ihi: i: ncI Ic
:cy ycu :hcu|c ncI ccn:icer pc::iL|e cL:Icc|e:, iI :imp|y mecn: IhcI ycu
:hcu|c ncI DWELL cn Ihem. Ycur minc wi|| gc wherever ycu cirecI iI Ic,
pcwerec Ly Ihe fccu: ycu hcve. Sc if ycu hcve IrcuL|e :Icying fccu:ec,
fccu: cn c :c|uIicn Ic ycur |eve| cf fccu: fir:I. lm Leing :ericu:l Ihere i: NC
SUCH IHlNG c: ncI hcving fccu:l Nc mcIIer whcI ycu cc, where ycu cre,
cr whc ycu cre, Ihere i: :cmeIhing ycure fccu:ing cn cI /LL IlMESl Fccu:
i: ncI Ihe i::ue Ihcugh, d|stroct|on i:. lf ycu finc ycur:e|f ec:i|y ci:IrccIec,
gue:: whcI Ycure Leing given cn cppcrIuniIy Ic fccu: cn mcny Ihing:l
FcrgeI whcI ycur :chcc| Ieccher: :cic, cr whcI ycur pcrenI: :cic, cr whcI
cny cuIhcriIy figure" :cic Ic ycu cLcuI ci:IrccIicn Leing c Lcc Ihing. lI:
cn|y c Lcc Ihing if ycu gcin ncIhing frcm iIl l fu||y ccmiI IhcI Ihere cre
Iime: when my minc wcncer: frcm cne Ihing, Ic cncIher, Ic cncIher,
Lcck Ic Ihe fir:I Ihing, Ihen cver Ic IhcI Ihirc Ihing cgcin, Ihen c Levercge
Lreck, my minc wcncer: cver Ic yeI cncIher Ihing, cnc :c cn.
8uI cf CNE Ihing l ccn :cy wiIh cL:c|uIe ccnvicIicn: It o|| connects to eoch
other, so |t's serv|ng me.
WcIch c Jcme: 8cnc cr lncicnc Jcne: mcvie :cme Iime, cnc ycu|| :ee
IhcI Ihey hcve Icn: cf ci:IrccIicn: {Fecp|e :ncct|ng ct tnen. nuge cc||
|c|||ng tcwc|c: tnen. :ncke:. c|ctn|ng :tuck |n c ven|c|e c| p|cne tnct':
cccut tc c|c:n. cnc :c cn) yeI whcI Ihey NCIlCE curing Ihc:e ci:IrccIicn:,
i: u:efu| cnc u|IimcIe|y he|p: Ihem in ccccmp|i:hing Iheir mcin gcc|. l
inviIe ycu Ic c|:c ncIice IhcI Mr. 8cnc cnc lncy cre ncI p|cguec Ly :e|f-
ccuLI frcm Ihe:e ci:IrccIicn: in Iheir |ife. Ycu ccnI ever finc Jcme: 8cnc
crying him:e|f Ic :|eep c: he c: whine: cLcuI c|| Ihe pecp|e Irying Ic ki||
him. Ncr cc ycu ever :ee lncicnc Jcne: Ihrcw up hi: hcnc: cnc :cy,
Screw Ihi:. Ihe crIifccI: ncI wcrIh gcing Ihrcugh c|| Ihi: crcpl"
Sc whcIever ycu hcppen Ic Le ci:IrccIec Ly, ncIice :cmeIhing frcm iI
IhcI ccn Le u:ec in ccnnecIicn wiIh whcIever ycur mcin fccu: i:
:uppc:ec Ic Le cn. 8e pcIienI c: ycu fir:I :IcrI ccing Ihi:, c: iI: :cmeIhing
ycu mcy ncI Le u:ec Ic Ircining ycur:e|f Ic cc, :c iI: gcing Ic fee|
:Ircnge" unIi| ycu mcke c hcLiI cf Lehcving Ihi: wcy.
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61



Ncw, |eI: gc Lcck Ic gcining c Lc|cnce LeIween ccccmp|i:hing" cnc
ccccmmcccIing."
/ny Iime ycu mcve Icwcrc ccing :cmeIhing, Ihere i: cn inIenI cnc c
mcIive fcr why ycu cre ccing iI. Hcncr cnc eIhic: i: irre|evcnI, :ince inIenI
cnc mcIive hc: nc mcrc|iIy cr ccn:cicu: IhcI i: c|wcy: gccc cr c|wcy:
Lcc. ScmeIime: ycu cre Leing :e|fi:h, :cmeIime: ycu cre Leing :e|f|e::,
cnc :cmeIime: ycu cre fincing c muIuc||y fu|fi||ing re:u|I. YeI c|| Ihree cre
:Ii|| fue|ing ycur inIenI cnc mcIive.
IhcI Leing Irue, Ihere cre gcing Ic Le Iime: when ycu wi|| puI mcre
energy inIc ycur ccccmp|i:hing" cnc cIher Iime: when ycu wi|| puI mcre
energy inIc ycur ccccmmcccIing." IhcI: ju:I ccmmcn :en:e.
8uI in crcer Ic gcin c prccucIive Lc|cnce, ycu hcve Ic finc wcy: Ic geI
IhcI muIuc||y fu|fi||ing re:u|I. GrcnIec, Ihere cre pecp|e whc cre primcri|y
:e|fi:h, yeI cre :Ii|| ccccmp|i:hing" Ihe mcjcriIy cf Ihe Iime. 8uI Ihc:e
pecp|e cre c|mc:I c|wcy: re|icnI cn cIher:, cnc wcu|c ncI cc very we|| if
Ihey hcc Ic geI Ihing: ccne cn Iheir cwn wiIhcuI pecp|e
ccccmmcccIing Ihem necr|y every :Iep cf Ihe wcy. Ihe:e pecp|e fc||
uncer Ihe Fcnzi" /|phc IhcI l menIicnec necr Ihe Leginning cf Ihi: Lcck.
Ihe vc:I mcjcriIy cf u: hcve c hcLiI cf ccccmmcccIing" ICC much, cuI
cf wcnIing Ic Le cccepIec, cr ncI wcnIing Ic cffenc :cmecne, cr
Leccu:e we ccnI :eem Ic ccme up wiIh c gccc encugh excu:e Ic :cy
nc." /nc IhcI i: c|| criven Ly emcIicn:. lI: HEFE IhcI l wcnI Ic fccu:
Ihing:, Leccu:e when Ihi: pcrI geI: Lc|cncec, :c Icc wi|| Ihere Le
Lc|cnce LeIween ycur ccccmp|i:hing" cnc ccccmmcccIing."

8eing cccepIec Ly cIher: i: very :Ircng in mc:I cf u:. Ycu wcnI c :pecific
per:cn Ic |ike ycu, cr ycu wcnI pecp|e Ic cpprcve cf ycur icec:, cr ycu
wcnI Ic Le cckncw|ecgec fcr ycur effcrI: cI wcrk.
We||, :Icp iIl
Ihe cn|y Ihing ycu :hcu|c Le ccncernec cLcuI, i: whcI YCU cccepI
cLcuI YCUFSELF. Ihe fccI i:, when ycu ci:p|cy ccnficence cnc Le|ief in
whcI ycu cc cnc whc ycu cre, pecp|e: cpinicn Leccme: :eccnccry.
Uncer:Icnc IhcI l cm in NC W/Y :cying IhcI ycu :hcu|c igncre pecp|e:
cpinicn cr ccvice. ln:Iecc, l cm :cying IhcI YCUF cpinicn i: whcI i: mc:I
impcrIcnI, cnc everycne e|:e: cpinicn i: :imp|y :cmeIhing Ic Ihink cLcuI
CN YCUF CWN IEFMS. Ihe cn|y per:cn whc i: gcing Ic mcke ycu
:ucceec, i: ycu. Everycne e|:e i: wcrriec cLcuI Iheir cwn :ucce::, which
Ihey :ncu|c Le, cnc wi|| cn|y wcrry cLcuI YCUF :ucce:: in whcIever wcy iI
cffecI: Ihem. IhcI mcy :cunc hcr:h, LuI iI: ccIuc||y very pc:iIive.
When c :c|e:per:cn give: c :c|e: piIch, Ihey cre eiIher in:piring pecp|e Ic
Luy, cr inf|uencing Ihe per:cn: rec:cn: Ic nct Luy. /nc c per:cn wi|| cn|y
Luy frcm ycu if iI i: cf LenefiI fcr Ihem. Ihe LenefiI ccu|c Le cnyIhing frcm
IhcI wi|| c::i:I me in my |ife" Ic lf l Luy, mcyLe l ccn geI c ccIe wiIh Ihi:
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62


:c|e:per:cn" Ic l|| Luy, Leccu:e iI wi|| geI ric cf Ihi: unccmfcrIcL|e
fee|ing l hcve if l ccnI Luy. WhcIever Ihe cc:e mcy Le, c per:cn wi||
cn|y cgree Ic :cmeIhing if Ihey :ee :cme |eve| cf LenefiI fcr Ihem:e|ve:.
IhcI Leing Irue, ycu neec Ic kncw Ihe per:cn we|| encugh Ic uncer:Icnc
whcI mcke: Ihem Luy/cgree Ic cc whcI ycu wcnI. /nc Ihe Le:I wcy Ic
kncw IhcI, i: Ic c:k ue:Iicn:.

Here cre Iwc rec|-|ife excmp|e: Ic LeIIer exp|cin Ihi: pcinI.

Jcck wc: c rec:cncL|y gccc in:urcnce :c|e:mcn. He wc: frienc|y,
ccnficenI, cnc kncw|ecgecL|e cLcuI whcI hi: ccmpcny hcc Ic cffer.
Cne ccy he wc: Ic|king Ic c micc|e-cgec wcmcn cLcuI :IcrIing c pc|icy,
cnc hiI c|| Ihe gccc pcinI: Ihe in:urcnce hcc Ic cffer, c: we|| c: :hcwing
her hcw :he wc: :cving c :uL:IcnIic| cmcunI cf mcney cverc||.
She wcu|c Ihrcw up cLjecIicn:, cnc Jcck fccu:ec cn Ihe crec: IhcI
ccunIerec her cLjecIicn:. He c:kec her cLcuI her kic:, cnc hcw :he
wcu|c Le cL|e Ic prcvice fcr Ihem if cn unfcrIuncIe cccicenI prevenIec
her frcm wcrking. 8uI :he cic ncI Luy Ihe in:urcnce, :IcIing IhcI if :he
never gcI Ierminc||y i|| ncr ci:cL|ec, :he wcu|cnI geI cny cf IhcI mcney
Lcck. Jcck cicnI mcke Ihe :c|e.

Ky|e wc: cn excepIicnc| in:urcnce :c|e:mcn. Mcny cf hi: c|ienI: fe|I |ike
he wc: c pcrI cf Iheir fcmi|y, cnc wcu|c :cmeIime: :Icp Ly Ihe cffice Ic
give him Ihing: Ihey hcc Lckec cr ccckec, ncI Ic menIicn necr|y c|| cf hi:
c|ienI: :enI him c Chri:Imc: ccrc every yecr. WhcI Ky|e wcu|c cc, when
Ic|king Ic c prc:pecIive c|ienI, wc: Ic fccu: cn Ihe pc:iIive e|emenI: cf c
pc|icy. ln:Iecc cf Ic|king cLcuI lf ycu were Ic Leccme ci:cL|ec, ycur
pc|icy wcu|c ccver..." he wcu|c in:Iecc :cy, Nc mcIIer whcI |ife Iriec Ic
Ihrcw cI ycu, Ihi: pc|icy wcu|c Le ycur :hie|c cf fincncic| prcIecIicn
cgcin:I iI." During cne pcrIicu|cr cccc:icn, Ky|e hcc Leen Ic|king Ic c
micc|e-cgec wcmcn cnc righI cff Ihe LcI he menIicnec Ihinking cLcuI
where Ic Icke hi: vcccIicn, cnc c:kec her where :he IhcughI wcu|c Le c
gccc p|cce Ic gc. He Ihen wenI inIc :cme ceIci|: cLcuI cn in:urcnce
pc|icy, cnc :uccen|y c:kec her, lf ycu were gcing Ic Luy in:urcnce, whcI
wcu|c Le ycu| rec:cn: fcr Luying iI" 8c:ec cn whcI :he rep|iec, Ky|e
fccu:ec hi: piIch cn Ihe crec: where iI fiI wiIh her cn:wer. He mcce Ihe
:c|e.

Jcck fci|ec Ic mcke Ihe :c|e, Leccu:e he wc: fccu:ec mcre cn
ccccmp|i:hing" Ihcn ccccmmcccIing." he cic ncI hcve c Lc|cnce.
F|u:, he mcce hi: piIch wiIhcuI uncer:Icncing hi: c|ienI. He mcy hcve
genuine|y IhcughI he wc: |ccking cuI fcr her Le:I inIere:I:, LuI he fci|ec Ic
c:k her whcI :ne IhcughI her Le:I inIere:I: were.
Ky|e ncI cn|y c:kec hi: c|ienI whcI :he IhcughI her neec: were, he
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63


engcgec in ccnver:cIicn IhcI mcce Ihe enccunIer fee| ccmfcrIcL|e. He
wc: ccccmmcccIing" Ly uncer:Icncing her, cnc her neec:, which
re:u|Iec in him ccccmp|i:hing" hi: gcc|: Se||ing her cn in:urcnce pc|icy.

l wc: ncI pre:enI cI eiIher cccc:icn, LuI lm preIIy ccnficenI IhcI Jcck:
cpprccch, whi|e |ike|y we|| mecning, puI Ihe wcmcn cn Ihe cefen:ive.
E:pecic||y Ihe pcrI where Jcck LrcughI her kic:.
Ky|e Lui|I c ccmfcrIcL|e rcppcrI wiIh hi: c|ienI, Ly geIIing her cpinicn cn
vcccIicn icec:, cnc geIIing her cpinicn cn why :he wcu|c Luy in:urcnce.

8uI ycu mcy hcve nc inIere:I in :c|e:, :c l|| give ycu Iwc cIher excmp|e:.
8cIh cre ju:I |ike Ihe Jcck cnc Ky|e, LuI in c wcy IhcI mcre pecp|e ccn
re|cIe Ic. Ihe fir:I excmp|e, i: cLcuI c wcmcn ncmec Ginc.

Ginc wc: in Ihe mc|| cne ccy, wiIh c mc|e frienc :he kinc cf |ikec mcre
Ihcn c frienc, LuI wc: Icc :hy Ic Ie|| him. Ihey wenI Ic Ihe perfume
ccunIer, cnc Ginc c:kec her mc|e frienc hi: cpinicn cn vcricu: :cmp|e:.
Cne :cenI in pcrIicu|cr rec||y p|ec:ec him, cnc he Ic|c Ginc, IhcI wcu|c
:me|| :c hcI cn ycu." Sc Ginc LcughI iI. Ihey wenI c|cIhe: :hcpping, cnc
Ginc Iriec cn vcricu: cuIfiI:, cnc :hcwec her mc|e frienc, Ic geI hi:
cpinicn. He vcicec hi: fcvcriIe:, cnc Ginc LcughI necr|y c|| Ihe cne: he
:eemec Ihe mc:I enIhu:ic:Iic cLcuI. Ihen cI cncIher :Icre, HE Iriec cn
:cme c|cIhe:. 8uI he cicnI c:k Ginc fcr her cpinicn cn Ihe Ihing: he Iriec
cn. Ihi: hurI her fee|ing:, LuI :he cicnI :cy cnyIhing Ic him. /fIer vi:iIing
:Icre cfIer :Icre, Ihey wenI Ic Ihe fccc ccurI Ic hcve :cme |unch. /: Ihey
cIe, her mc|e frienc Legcn Ic|king cLcuI c :kirI Ginc hcc ju:I LcughI. He
ccmp|imenIec hcw her LuII |cckec gccc in iI, cnc iI cccec :cme
ncughIine:: Ic her cnge|ic cemecncr. Ihi: mcce her fee| preIIy gccc,
cnc :he IhcughI IhcI mcyLe ncw :he :hcu|c Iry cnc Ie:I him Ic :ee if he
hcc cny rcmcnIic fee|ing: Icwcrc her. She c:kec him, WhcI mcce ycu
cgree Ic ccme :hcpping wiIh me" He rep|iec, l |cve Ic :hcp, :c l
wcu|cnI pc:: up cn inviIcIicn." She Iec:ec, Ch, :c iI wc:nI Ihe
ccmpcny IhcI per:uccec ycu" He :mi|ec cnc :cic, IhcI Icc. Ycure c
ccc| per:cn Ic hcng cuI wiIh." Ihen Ginc :cic, l wi:h l ccu|c finc c guy
whc wc: inIc me cnc c|:c |cvec :hcpping." He rep|iec, lI: c Lig wcr|c,
cnc he: cuI Ihere :cmewhere." Ihi: wc: ncI whcI Ginc expecIec Ic hecr
frcm him, :he wc: ci:cppcinIec. She IhcughI cLcuI hcw :he hcc LcughI
Ihe perfume he |ikec, LcughI Ihe c|cIhe: he |ikec her in, whcI wc: wrcng
Why cicnI he :eem rcmcnIicc||y inIere:Iec in her Neec|e:: Ic :cy, Ginc
wenI hcme fee|ing c |iII|e unhcppy. She cnc her mc|e frienc never cic
Leccme rcmcnIicc||y invc|vec.

LeI me c:k ycu, cic Ginc hcve c Lc|cnce LeIween ccccmp|i:hing" cnc
ccccmmcccIing" Ihe cn:wer cf ccur:e, i: nc. She hcc ccne mcre
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64


ccccmmcccIing" in Ihe hcpe: cf ccccmp|i:hing." Mecning, :he cic
whcI :he IhcughI wcu|c p|ec:e her mc|e frienc, hcping iI wcu|c re:u|I in
hi: Icking c mcre rcmcnIic inIere:I in her.
DcIing cnc :ecucIicn Iechniue: c:ice {lm :cving c|| IhcI fcr Fire cf
SecucIicn") Ginc gcve her mc|e frienc nc rec:cn Ic wcrk fcr her cIIenIicn
cnc cccepIcnce. Whi|e iI lS impcrIcnI Ic c:k ue:Iicn: cnc geI cpinicn:,
Ginc |eI her ce:ire fcr hi: cccepIcnce ccmincIe her ceci:icn:. She
wcnIec Ic :me|| gccc fcr him, :c :he LcughI Ihe perfume he preferrec.
She wcnIec Ic |cck gccc fcr him, :c :he LcughI Ihe :kirI IhcI mcce her
LuII |cck gccc.
She IhcughI IhcI if :he cic Ihing: IhcI p|ec:ec him, he wcu|c wcnI Ic
Leccme rcmcnIicc||y invc|vec wiIh her. 8uI Ihe prcL|em i:, :he never
vcicec her ce:ire:, ncr ccIec cn Ihem Ly puIIing iI c|| cuI Ihere Ic him.
Ycu ccnI cc Ihing: fcr pecp|e, cr ccccmmcccIe" Ihem, cnc expecI Ic
geI ycur primcry re:u|I wiIhcuI c:king fcr iIl He||, whc: Ic :cy IhcI her mc|e
frienc wc:nI c|:c rcmcnIicc||y inIere:Iec, LuI he wc: c|:c in:ecure c: :he
wc: in vcicing iI Ycu ccn e|uce Ic Ihing:, LuI if Ihe cIher per:cn i:nI
re:pcncing in c wcy IhcI geI: ycu wcnI ycu wcnI, ccme cuI cnc c:k fcr iIl
Ihe cverc|| pcinI i:, if ycure gcing Ic cc Ihing: in cn effcrI Ic cchieve c
:pecific re:u|I, cI SCME pcinI ycu neec Ic eiIher gc fcr Ihe re:u|I, cr e|:e
|eI iI gc cnc mcve cnl

Ihi: nexI excmp|e, i: cLcuI c guy ncmec Ecwcrc.

Ecwcrc |cvec Ihe cpcrImenI ccmp|ex where he |ivec, LuI he hcIec Ihe
nci:y kic:. He wcrkec grcveycrc :hifI: mc:I ccy:, which mecnI he :|epI
curing Ihe ccy. He hcc Iriec ecrp|ug:, LuI Ihey criec hi: ecr: cuI. He Iriec
p|cying cc|ming mu:ic, LuI IhcI cicnI c|wcy: wcrk. Cne pcrIicu|cr ccy,
Ihe kic: were Leing e:pecic||y |cuc, cnc Ecwcrc cwcke very irriIcIec. He
cpenec hi: winccw cnc c:kec Ihe kic:, Ccn ycu p|ec:e p|cy
:cmewhere e|:e"
Ihey cpc|cgizec cnc wenI cff Ic p|cy e|:ewhere. 8uI c ccup|e cf ccy:
|cIer, Ihey were righI Lcck necr hi: winccw cgcin. He cpenec hi: winccw,
exp|cinec Ic Ihem IhcI he :|eep: curing Ihe ccy, cnc c:kec IhcI Ihey ncI
p|cy necr hi: winccw. Ihey cgcin cpc|cgizec cnc wenI cff :cmewhere
e|:e Ic p|cy. 8uI c ccup|e cf ccy: |cIer, Ihey were cnce cgcin p|cying
necr hi: winccw. Ihi: Iime, Ecwcrc :pcke Ic Ihe pcrenI: cf Ihe kic:,
exp|cinec IhcI he :|eep: curing Ihe ccy, cnc c:kec IhcI Ihey keep Iheir
kic: cwcy frcm Ihe crec necr hi: winccw. Cne pcrenI wc: cefen:ive cnc
:cic, Iheyre ju:I kic:, Ihey hcve Ic p|cy :cmewhere." Ecwcrc cgreec
cnc cccec IhcI Ihere wc: nc rec:cn IhcI Ihey ccu|cnI p|cy in frcnI cf
Iheir cwn cpcrImenI, cr Ihe cpcrImenI cf Iheir frienc:. He cccec IhcI he
wcu|c hcIe fcr c cifferenI IencnI Ic Le |e:: rec:cncL|e cnc eiIher ye|| cI
Ihe kic:, cr Iry cnc Lring Ihe mcncgemenI inIc Ihe mcIIer. Ihe pcrenI
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65


rep|iec, l|| Ic|k Ic my chi|c. Scrry fcr Ihe ci:IurLcnce."
Fcr cwhi|e, Ihing: were uieI necr Ecwcrc: winccw. 8uI Ihen cne ccy, he
wc: cwcke Ly Ihe hcrriL|e :crecm cf c chi|c. He Lc|Iec cuI cf Lec, cnc
|cckec cuI Ihe winccw. Cne cf Ihe chi|cren hcc fc||en cuI Ihe Iree necr
hi: winccw, cnc Ihe chi|c: |eg |cckec injurec. Ecwcrc rcn cuI:ice cnc
IrecIec Ihe Lcy: injury, which wc: Ihcnkfu||y ju:I c :kinnec cnc :wc||en
knee, cnc c Iwi:Iec cnk|e. NcIurc||y c|| Ihe pcrenI: f|cckec Ic Ihe :cene,
hcping iI wc:nI Iheir chi|c IhcI wc: hurI. /fIer Ecwcrc fini:hec IrecIing Ihe
Lcy, Ihe chi|c: mcIher Ihcnkec Ecwcrc. She c:kec Ecwcrc, /re ycu c
cccIcr He :mi|ec cnc :cic, Mc|e Nur:e ccIuc||y, in Ihe E.F. lve Leen
cL|e Ic :|eep we|| Ihe pc:I ccup|e cf week:, cr e|:e l wcu|cnI hcve Leen
c|erI encugh Ic he|p him. Sc Ihcnk ycu."
Ecwcrc never cgcin hcc cncIher kic p|cy necr hi: winccw whi|e he :|epI.
ln fccI, Ihere were Iime: :ince Ihen when he wcu|c :Iep cuI Ic hi: Lc|ccny
cnc Ihe kic: wcu|c c:k, Were ncI Leing Icc |cuc, cre we"

IhcI: c Irue :Icryl l |cughec when Ecwcrc Ic|c iI Ic me.
Ihe fir:I Ihing IhcI l wcnI Ic pcinI cuI, i: IhcI Ecwcrc wcu|c hcve Leen we||
wiIhin hi: righI: Ic Lring Ihe i::ue Ic Ihe cpcrImenI ccmp|ex mcncger. 8uI l
cpp|cuc him fcr keeping Ihing: wiIhin Ihe ccnfine: cf Ihc:e cirecI|y
invc|vec, in:Iecc cf Leing c whiny IencnI whc :ymLc|icc||y Ic|c Mcm
cn Ihem. He hcnc|ec iI cn hi: cwn. Seccnc, ncIice IhcI he fir:I
cpprccchec Ihe :iIucIicn Ly Irying Ic finc c :c|uIicn CIHEF Ihcn cirecI
ccnfrcnIcIicn. Ihere /FE Iime: when cirecI ccnfrcnIcIicn i: gccc, LuI cne
neec: Ic chcc:e Iheir LcII|e: wi:e|y. When Ihe ncn-ccnfrcnIcIicnc|
:c|uIicn: cic ncI wcrk cuI, he wenI righI Ic Ihe :curce: Ihe nci:y kic:. lI
ccu|c Le crguec IhcI he :hcu|c hcve Leen mcre cuIhcriIcIive, when fir:I
ccnfrcnIing Ihe kic:. 8uI l per:cnc||y fee|, IhcI :ince hi: pc::ive reue:I gcI
him Ihe re:u|I he wcnIec, he cic gccc. Ihe :eccnc Iime, he ceIci|ec Ic
Ihe kic: why he cicnI wcnI Ihem p|cying necr hi: winccw. He wc:
ccccmmcccIing" Ly ccing Ihi:, cnc fcr ccing iI in c cc|m Icne. Ihi:
wcrkec fcr c :hcrI Iime, LuI kic: cfIen |ive in Ihe mcmenI, :c Ihey cf
ccur:e evenIuc||y :IcrIec p|cying necr Ecwcrc: winccw cgcin. 8uI
in:Iecc cf geIIing cngry, Ecwcrc :imp|y wenI Ic Ihe nexI |eve| cf cuIhcriIy:
Ihe pcrenI:. He vcicec hi: reue:I, cnc even :ugge:Iec pc::iL|e
cuIccme: if c cifferenI IencnI were Ihe cne Leing ci:IurLec. l rec||y |ikec
IhcI pcrI, Leccu:e iI puI Ihe mcIIer in Ihe per:pecIive cf lm rec:cncL|e,
LuI :cmecne e|:e mcy ncI Le."
Ihen when Ihe chi|c gcI hurI, cnc Ecwcrc IrecIec him, Ihe pcrenI: were
:hcwn c grecI LenefiI fcr why Ihey wcu|c wcnI Ic keep Iheir kic: cwcy
frcm Ecwcrc: crec. ln Ihi: cc:e: 8y keeping Iheir kic: cwcy frcm Ecwcrc:
cpcrImenI, he ccn geI c LeIIer :|eep, cnc Le mcre c|erI Ic he|p Iheir kic:
if Ihey geI hurI. He wc: ccccmmcccIing" Ly IrecIing Ihe injurec Lcy,
which re:u|Iec in him ccccmp|i:hing" hi: gcc| cf geIIing c peccefu|
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66


:|eep.
l hcc c:kec Ecwcrc why iI wc: IhcI when he fir:I :pcke Ic Ihe pcrenI:, he
cicnI |eI Ihem kncw he neecec hi: :|eep Leccu:e he wcrkec in cn
Emergency Fccm. Ecwcrc rep|iec, 8eccu:e my cccupcIicn :hcu|c hcve
nc Lecring cn Ihem :hcwing ccmmcn ccurIe:y." IhcI mcce :en:e Ic me.
GrcnIec, Ihem |ecrning hi: cccupcIicn u|IimcIe|y gcI him whcI he
wcnIec frcm Ihem, LuI Ihey cn|y |ecrnec iI Leccu:e Ihey fci|ec Ic
prcper|y mcniIcr Iheir cwn chi|cren.

Ncw l wcnI Ic :imp|ify my pcinI:, :c ycu ccn LeIIer cpp|y iI Ic ycur cwn
ccccmmcccIing" cnc ccccmp|i:hing."

Fir:I, hcve ccnvicIicn in whcI ycu wcnI. DcnI Le curicu:" cLcuI iI, ccn'I
Le inIere:Iec" in iI, Le conv|nced IhcI iI: whcI ycu wcnI. lf ycure ncI
ccnvincec, l wcu|c ue:Iicn hcw much ycu ccIuc||y neec Ic ccccmp|i:h
iI. {ne exe|c|:e tnct |c||cw: w||| ne|p w|tn tn|: pc|t)

Seccnc, when ccccmmcccIing," cc iI Leccu:e IhcI: whcI ycu wcnI Ic
cc, NCI Leccu:e ycu wcnI Ic inf|uence :cmecne. lf ycu expecI
:cmeIhing fcr ycur ccccmmcccIing" ycu neec Ic vcice iI, in:Iecc cf
hcping Ihe cIher per:cn wi|| kncw cn Iheir cwn. lI: c :cc Ihing, LuI mcny
pecp|e cre ec:y Ic fcrgeI Ihe fcvcr: cnc effcrI: we give Ic Ihem.

Ihirc, Le c|ecr cn whcI LenefiI Ihere i: fcr ycu /ND Ihem, in
ccccmp|i:hing" whcI ycu wcnI. lI: :c ec:y Ic fcrgeI IhcI Ihere neec: Ic
Le c LenefiI fcr Ihe ctne| per:cn, cnc Ic geI ccughI up in ME." Ihe mcre
ycu geI in Ihe hcLiI cf ccccmp|i:hing" wiIhcuI much ccccmmcccIing"
Ihe mcre |czy ycu geI, cnc Ihe mcre fru:IrcIec ycu|| Leccme Icwcrc
Ihc:e whc cre ncI ccccmmcccIing" YCU, which evenIuc||y wecken:
ycur ccccmp|i:hing" mcre cnc mcre.
Ic Le :e|fi:h :cmeIime:, i: humcn. Ic Le :e|fi:h mc:I cf Ihe Iime, i:
pcIheIic.

FcurIh, never c::ume Ihe cIher per:cn wi|| hcve Ihe :cme ccnvicIicn cnc
inIere:I IhcI ycu hcve in ycur ccccmp|i:hing." We cc Ihing: fcr cifferenI
rec:cn:, cnc we hcve cifferenI mcIivcIicn:. Sc uncer:Icnc whcI
mcIivcIe: IHEM, cnc finc c wcy fcr iI wcrk wiIhin ycur ccccmp|i:hing."

FifIh, Ihere i: nc ru|e, |cw, cr ccce, IhcI :cy: ycu hcve Ic mcke :cmecne
ycur frienc. Ihe :cme gce: fcr mcking :cmecne ycur enemy. Ycu ccn Le
frienc|y wiIhcuI Leing :cmecne: frienc. /nc ycu ccn Le firm wiIh
:cmecne, wiIhcuI mcking Ihem ycur enemy.
Ihere cre gcing Ic Le pecp|e whc wi|| c|ing Ic ycu :cmeIime:, cnc ycu
mighI fee| cL|igcIec Ic give Ihem ycur Iime. SIcp IhcIl Ihe excu:e, 8uI
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67


Ihey ccnI hcve cny cIher frienc:" i: ncI cccepIcL|e. lI: ncI cccepIcL|e
Leccu:e iI: ncI YCUF re:pcn:iLi|iIy Ic Le Ihe cn|y frienc :cmecne hc:.
Lcyc|Iy Ic cn c|reccy e:IcL|i:hec frienc i: cne Ihing, LuI |cyc|Iy Ic
:cmecne whc: cn|y LenefiI in ycur |ife i: giving ycu |cI: cf cIIenIicn, i:
:ericu:|y weckening ycur cLi|iIy Ic un|ec:h ycur /|phc. lf ycu wcnI ycur |ife
Ic hcve purpc:e, ycu hcve Ic :urrcunc ycur:e|f wiIh pecp|e whc :e|ve c
uc|iIy purpc:e in ycur |ife. 8uI l fee| neecec Ly Ihem" i: ncI c uc|iIy
purpc:e. Neecy pecp|e ycu ccnIinuc||y c||cw inIc ycur |ife, cn|y :erve:
CNE purpc:e: 8cc:Iing ycur egc. lf ycu neec c neecy per:cn in ycur |ife Ic
mcke ycu fee| gccc, Ihen ycu wi|| remcin c 8eIc. Fericcl Ihere i: c huge
cifference LeIween giving ycur Iime Ic :cmecne in neec, cnc giving
Ihem c|| cf ycur Iime whenever Ihey neec iI. WhcI l mecn i:, he|ping
:cmecne in neec i: hcncrcL|e, cepencing cn whcI Iheir neec i:. 8uI
puIIing :cmeIhing e|:e cn hc|c every Iime IhcI per:cn neec: :cmeIhing,
ccn Le ci:rupIive Ic Ihe very hcppine:: ycu Ihink ycure Irying Ic cIIcin.
IhcI: c|| in regcrc Ic frienc:." /: fcr fecr cf mcking Ihem ycur enemy,
Ihe :cme hc|c: Irue. lf ycure cfrcic c per:cn wi|| Le cngry cI ycu, cr :Icp
Ic|king Ic ycu, ju:I Leccu:e ycu ccnI give Ihem ycur Iime every Iime Ihey
wcnI iI, IhcI Icc ccn Le ci:rupIive Ic Ihe hcppine:: ycure Irying Ic cIIcin.
NC CNE :hcu|c Le c||cwec ycur Iime every :ing|e Iime Ihey wcnI iI. Why
8eccu:e ycure :uppc:ec Ic Le |iving YCUF |ife. /nc hcw ccn ycu cc IhcI
if ycure c|wcy: :Icpping whcI ycure ccing :c IHEY ccn hcve ycur Iime
Cn c very ceep |eve|, we humcn: hcve c hcLiI cf |ccking cpprecicIicn
fcr whcIever ccme: ec:y. lf ycu c|wcy: geI whcI ycu wcnI in c cerIcin
crec, ycu evenIuc||y grcw ccmp|ccenI, cnc |c:e :ighI cf Ihe Iru|y
wcncerfu| gifI ycu cre Leing given. 8uI when we hcve Ic Lu:I cur c::, Ihe
Ihing: we cIIcin c: c re:u|I cre Ihe Ihing: we cIIcch vc|ue Ic. Ihi: i: cn
uncer:Icncing IhcI ycu prcLcL|y c|reccy knew Ihcugh, righI YeI :c
mcny cf u: fci| Ic :ee IhcI :cme |cgic when iI ccme: Ic Ihe Iime we give
Ic pecp|e. Fccifi:I: cfIen Ihink lI: gccc Ic give everycne cur Iime. lI:
kinc." l cm ncI crguing IhcI ycu :hcu|c ncI give pecp|e ycur Iime. My
crgumenI i: hcw much, cnc hcw cfIen, ycu give :cmecne ycur Iime.
Ihink cLcuI iI. Hcw ccn ycu Lui|c c uc|iIy |ife, c |ife IhcI Lring: ycu c||
IhcI ycu ce:ire, if Ihe mcjcriIy cf ycur Iime i: :penI giving IhcI Iime Ic
cIher: /I :cme pcinI ycu neec Ic Le c |iII|e :e|fi:h cnc cevcIe ycur Iime
Ic whcI wi|| geI ycu IhcI which :c fcr e|uce: ycu.
8ui|cing :c|ic frienc:hip: cnc Lu:ine:: ccnIccI:, cce: reuire ycu Ic
cevcIe Iime Ic Ihe:e pecp|e. Ju:I mcke ecch enccunIer prccucIive.
WhcI: Ihe :en:e in giving Iime Ic :cmecne, when IhcI Iime cn|y re:u|I: in
Ihe :cme Ihing:, in:Iecc cf re:u|Iing in enhcncing cnc/cr ccvcncing
Ihing:

l hcpe Ihi: chcpIer gcI Ihrcugh Ic ycu, Leccu:e iI: gcing Ic Le impcrIcnI,
in my per:cnc| cpinicn.
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68



Ihe "F|onn|ng Your F|on's F|on" Exerc|se


Ihi: cne l wcnI Ic mcke fun fcr ycu Ic cc, Leccu:e we Ienc Ic Le
mcIivcIe Ic pu:h cur:e|ve: when Ihere: cn e|emenI cf fun in ccing iI.

LeI: :IcrI cff where virIuc||y c|| cf u: :penc Iime fccu:ec cn: Mok|ng more
money/ Ihere: ncLccy IhcI lve ever meI IhcI hc: :cic, Dcmn, l wi:h l
mcce |e:: mcneyl" Ihere mighI Le :cmecne cuI Ihere whc ccIuc||y DCES
wi:h IhcI, LuI lm gcing Ic ri:k Ihe chcnce IhcI ycure NCI IhcI per:cn. Sc
Icke cLcuI 10-20 minuIe:, geI cuI c piece cf pcper {c| cpen ycu| cu|nc|
|| ycu ncve cne) cnc :IcrI Ly ccing Ihe fc||cwing:

/) lf ycu ccu|c mcke mcney ccing :cmeIhing ycu LCVE IC DC, whcI
wcu|c iI Le, cnc why wcu|c ycu wcnI Ic mcke mcney ccing iI Ihink
cLcuI iI Lefcre ycu wriIe iI ccwn. Fec||y give iI :cme IhcughI, :c ycure
:ure iI: :cmeIhing ycu ncI cn|y |cve Ic cc, LuI ccu|c ccIuc||y imcgine
mcking mcney ccing iI.
{8E SFEClFlCl)
Fcr Excmp|e: Fecp|e |cve tne |unny ccnnent: cnc |enc|k: | c|wcy:
ccne up w|tn. :c | wcu|c |cve tc ncke ncney :e|||ng cunpe| :t|cke|: cnc
-:n||t: w|tn :cy|ng: cn tnen tnct | c|ectec. | |cve tc cc |t. cnc |t wcu|c ce
:ucn c |u:n tc cne ccy wc|k :cnep|cce cnc :ee pecp|e wec||ng c :n||t c|
ncv|ng c cunpe| :t|cke| w|tn :cnetn|ng | c|ectec cn |t|

8) lf ycu were Ic cccepI IhcI ycu ccIuc||y CCULD mcke mcney ccing
whcI ycu |cve Ic cc, whcI wcu|c Le Ihe fir:I few KEY Ihing: ycu hcve Ic
cc Ic geI :IcrIec cn iI
{/G/lN, 8E SFEClFlCl)
Fcr Excmp|e: We||. |||:t | wcu|c neec tc w||te cut wnct | wcu|c wcnt tne
:n||t: cnc :t|cke|: tc :cy cn tnen. tc ncke :u|e tney wcu|c ce :cnetn|ng
pecp|e wcu|c cctuc||y wcnt tc cuy. |'c neec tc kncw ncw nucn |t cc:t:
tc p||nt tne :n||t: cnc :t|cke|:. | wcu|c neec tc ||gu|e cut || |t': cette| tc
ccve|t|:e tne p|ccuct: cn c wec pcge c| |n c ncgcz|ne. c| || |t wcu|c ce
cnecpe| tc |ent c tcc|e ct :cne :wcp neet c| ||ec nc|ket ncyce. Anc
c| ccu|:e | wcu|c neec tne ncney tc pcy |c| c|| c| tnct.

C) Given ycur currenI cLi|iIie: cnc re:curce:, whcI ccu|c ycu c|reccy cc
FlGHI NCW Ic geI Ihing: :IcrIec
{Cnce cgcin, 8E SFEClFlCl)
Fcr Excmp|e: | ccu|c w||te cut wnct | wcu|c wcnt tne :n||t: cnc :t|cke|: tc
:cy cn tnen. | ccu|c c|:c tc|k tc :cne |||enc: cnc pecp|e tnct | kncw. cnc
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get cn |cec c| wn|cn cne: tney wcu|c ce nc|e ||ke|y tc cuy. :c tnen |
ncve c cette| |cec c| wn|cn cne: tc :tc|t cn |||:t.

Ncw IhcI ycu hcve c mcre :pecific icec cf hcw ycu wcu|c mcke mcney
ccing whcI ycu |cve Ic cc, cnc hcve :cme icec cf hcw ycu ccu|c
ccIuc||y cc iI, l wcnI ycu Ic cc Ihe fc||cwing:

D) LeI: p|cy |eI: preIenc." l wcnI ycu Ic c|c:e ycur eye:, cnc imcgine
whcI :cmecne whc i: /LFE/DY M/KlNG MCNEY IHlS W/Y wcu|c Lehcve
|ike. WhcI wcu|c mcIivcIe IHEM Ic puI in Ihe effcrI Ic mcke whcI Ihey
|cve Ic cc, c wcy Ic mcke mcney Hcw wcu|c IHEY Ic|k Ic pecp|e Ic geI
Ihem inIere:Iec in Luying Hcw much Iime ecch ccy wcu|c IHEY :penc
cn geIIing Ihing: ccne :c Ihey were mcking mcney cI iI WhcI re:curce:
wcu|c IHEY Le u:ing Hcw wcu|c IHEY mcke :ure IhcI Ihey :e|| c prccucI
IhcI pecp|e cre hcppy wiIh Hcw wcu|c IHEY :Icy fccu:ec cn
mcinIcining whcI neecec Ic geI ccne

E) Ncw IhcI ycu hcve Icken Ihe Iime Ic cc Ihe:e fcur :Iep:, Icke ju:I c
|iII|e LiI mcre Iime, Ic cuI|ine whcI YCUF p|cn wcu|c neec Ic Le Ic geI
:IcrIec cn mcking mcney ccing whcI ycu |cve Ic cc. SIcrI wiIh whcI ycu
/LFE/DY ccn cc Ic geI :IcrIec, cnc wriIe iI c|| ccwn. Ihen, wriIe ccwn
whcI ycu wcu|c neec Ic cc Ic geI Ihing: even c|c:er Ic mcking Ihi: icec
c rec|iIy (Dcn't wc||y ||gnt ncw || |t :een: uncttc|ncc|e u:t w||te ccwn
wnct ycu wcu|c neec tc cc |F |t we|e cttc|ncc|e} Ihen wriIe ccwn Ihe
fc||cwing cffirmcIicn, cnc recc iI every :ing|e ccy:

I occept thot I wont to moke money do|ng whot I |ove to do, ond w|||
not|ce woys thot w||| moke |t become o reo||ty. I occept thot I m|ght be
d|scouroged some t|mes, but I w||| o|so be mot|voted some t|mes, so the
more I comm|t to octuo||y do|ng whot I shou|d do, |nsteod o| just th|nk|ng
obout |t or just to|k|ng obout |t, the more I w||| ||nd myse|| behov|ng |n woys
thot resu|t |n me mok|ng money do|ng whot I |ove to do.


Ckcy, ncw |eI: mcke c p|cn fcr chcnging :cme cf ycur Lehcvicr:, :c Ihey
mcve ycu Icwcrc Leing whc ycu mc:I wcnI Ic Le.

DirecIcr Kevin SmiIh {C|e|k:. /c|||ct:. Cnc:|ng Any. Dcgnc. Jcy cnc S||ent
8cc St||ke 8cck. ne Fc::|cn c| tne C|e|k:) hc: :cic IhcI cne cf Ihe Le:I
piece: cf ccvice he ever gcI, wc: frcm hi: :i:Ier. He hcc Leen Ie||ing her
IhcI he wcnIec Ic Le c fi|m mcker. /nc :he Ic|c him Ihen 8E c fi|m
mcker." He cicnI immecicIe|y ccIch whcI :he wc: :cying, LuI Ihen
uncer:Iccc IhcI whcI :he wc: :cying wc: mcre Ihcn, Gc cuI Ihere cnc
Le c fi|m mcker," iI wc:, WiIh every fiLer cf ycur Leing, wc|k Ihrcugh Ihe
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70


wcr|c /S lF YCU /LFE/DY /FE c fi|m mcker." Simp|y puI, if ycu wc|k
Ihrcugh Ihe wcr|c wiIh Ihe minc:eI cnc Ihe cIIiIuce cf :cmecne whc i:
c|reccy whcI ycu wcnI Ic Le, Ihen ycu wi|| geI Ihere. 8uI Ic c|crify, Ihe
cIIiIuce cnc minc:eI SHCULD NCI Le cne cf l|| Le pcpu|cr, cnc mcke
|cI: cf mcney, cnc geI inviIec Ic exc|u:ive gcIhering:." Ihc:e cre c|| perk:
IhcI ccme wiIh, in Ihi: cc:e, Leing c fi|m mcker," LuI ncne cf IhcI i: fi|m
mcking." ln Kevin: cc:e, Ihe fi|m mcking" minc:eI, i: cne cf l cm
:cmecne whc wriIe: :creenp|cy: IhcI l Ihen cirecI cnc mcke inIc c
mcvie."
Dc ycu :ee Ihe cifference
Ihe cIIiIuce cnc minc:eI IhcI ycu wcnI Ic hcve, i: ncI fccu:ec cn Ihe
perk:" LuI cn Ihe pcrIicu|cr:."
lf ycu wcnI Ic cwn ycur cwn Lu:ine::, Ihen Ihe perk:" cre Ihe mcney, Ihe
:IcIu:, Ihe cppcrIuniIie: IhcI ccme c: c re:u|I, eIc. 8uI Ihe pcrIicu|cr:"
cre wc|king Ihrcugh Ihe wcr|c wiIh Ihe Le|ief IhcI ycu C/N 8E cnc /FE
:cmecne whc i: c Lu:ine:: cwner, cnc IhcI ycu ccn ncIice Ihe Ihing:
which wi|| c::i:I ycu c: c Lu:ine:: cwner. Ihe cn|y rec| cifference LeIween
ycu cnc :cmecne running Iheir cwn Lu:ine::, cre Ihe IcngiL|e Ihing:, |ike
Ihe prccucI, Ihe meIhcc cf pcymenI, cnc ci:IriLuIicn. ln cIher wcrc:, ycur
minc:eI cnc c Lu:ine:: cwner: minc:eI :hcu|c Le Ihe :cme.
Ckcy, :c here: cn exerci:e fcr ycu Ic geI Ic IhcI minc:eI. l mcce Ihe
excmp|e: Icngue in cheek, ju:I fcr fun.

Icke cncIher 10-20 minuIe:, geI cuI c piece cf pcper {cr cpen ycur
jcurnc| if ycu hcve cne) cnc :IcrI Ly ccing Ihe fc||cwing:

/) WhcI cc ycu wcnI Ic Le WriIe cuI :cmeIhing IhcI ycu wcu|c |ike Ic
Le, IhcI ycu hcve c pc::icn fcr. Dc ycu wcnI Ic Le c puL|i:hec cuIhcr /
prcfe::icnc| Ienni: :Icr Ihe cwner cnc crecIcr cf c uniue Icnning :c|cn
WriIe cuI c :pecific cn:wer fcr Ihi: ue:Iicn. (/ecn|ng. ccn't u:t w||te. |
wcnt tc cwn c cu:|ne::.}

FXA/FLF. | wcnt tc ce tne cu:|ne:: cwne| c| c g|ccn|ng :c|cn |c| pet: c|
ce|ec||t|e:.

8) Hcw cce: :cmecne |ike IhcI {Lu:ine:: cwner, prcfe::icnc| Ienni: :Icr,
eIc.) :ee Ihe wcr|c WhcI cc Ihey ncIice cLcuI Ihe wcr|c IhcI i: cifferenI
Ihcn whcI YCU currenI|y ncIice cLcuI Ihe wcr|c, cnc c::i:I: Ihem in whcI
Ihey cre ccing WriIe cuI c ceIci|ec cn:wer fcr Ihi: ue:Iicn.

FXA/FLF. ne cwne| c| c ccg g|ccn|ng :c|cn |c| ce|ec||t|e:. nct|ce: ||tt|e
tcucne: tnct c|e unccnncn |c| t|cc|t|cnc| ccg g|ccn|ng. yet c|e eve|y
c|t c: e|egcnt cnc exc|u:|ve c: wnct tne|| cwne|: get ct c :c|cn.

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71


C) WhcI cce: :cmecne |ike IhcI wcrry cLcuI, cnc NCI wcrry cLcuI

FXA/FLF. A ccg g|ccn|ng :c|cn cwne| wc|||e: cccut keep|ng tne||
:e|v|ce: ||e:n cnc un|que. tney wc||y cccut :tcy|ng ccnpet|t|ve. cnc tney
wc||y cccut p|cv|c|ng n|gn quc||ty tc u:t||y tne|| n|gn p||ce:. ney cc nct
wc||y cccut tne p||ce c| ||ec c|p. c| || cnycne e|:e ce||eve: |n tnen. c| ||
tney c|e |n tne ||gnt cu:|ne::.

D) FreIenc IhcI ycu were given c Ie|evi:icn, cnc cn Ihi: Ie|evi:icn wc: c
:hcw cf YCU, 5 yecr: frcm ncw, cnc iI wc: ycu Leing :ucce::fu| cI whcI
ycu chc:e. WcIching IhcI :hcw cf ycu, ce:criLe hcw ycu gcI Ihere wiIhin
5 yecr:.

FXA/FLF. | gct tne|e cy env|:|cn|ng wnct ny pet :c|cn wcu|c ce ||ke. tnen
|cunc wcy: tc :tc|t :nc||. tnen ccnt|nue tc cu||c up unt|| | wc: cctuc||y
cc|ng wnct | ncc env|:|cnec. | gct c|:ccu|cgec :cnet|ne:. cut | |ec||y
wcntec |t tc ncppen. :c | |cckec |c| ||tt|e wcy: tc get |t ccne.

Ihi: exerci:e ccn Le u:ec fcr c vcrieIy cf Ihing:. U:e iI chcnge c Lcc
hcLiI. U:e iI Ic Lui|c c gccc hcLiI. U:e iI Ic cc LeIIer cI ycur pre:enI jcL.
Ihere rec||y cre c |crge vcrieIy cf Ihing: ycu ccn u:e Ihi: exerci:e fcr.






















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72


A|pho Longuoge




When iI ccme: Ic ccmmuniccIicn, Ihere i: c cifference LeIween hcw c
8eIc Ic|k: cnc hcw cn /|phc Ic|k:.
l ccnI ju:I mecn IhcI cn /|phc :peck: wiIh cuIhcriIy cnc ccnficence.
/nc l ccnI ju:I mecn IhcI cn /|phc cvcic: cefecIing :IcIemenI: |ike, lm
cn icicI."

WhcI l cc mecn, i: IhcI when cn /|phc Ic|k:, Ihe wcrc: hcve picIure:.

Wnct tne ne|| cce: tnct necn

lm g|cc ycu c:kec. Ycure geIIing gccc cI c:king :mcrI ue:Iicn:l

FreIenc IhcI :cmecne :cic Ic ycu, ne v|ew ||cn ny ncte| cc|ccny wc:
cc:c|ute|y c|ectntck|ng.
IhcI |np||e: :cmeIhing ycu ccn imcgine, cnc mcyLe geI c menIc|
picIure cf. 8uI iI cce:nI hcve Ihe pcwer IhcI iI WCULD hcve, hcc Ihe
per:cn :cic, ne cc|c|: c| tne :ett|ng :un c|cng tne ccecn we|e
nypnct|c. c: | wctcnec |t ||cn tne cc|ccny c| ny ncte| |ccn.

IhcI ccu:ec c mcre vivic picIure in ycur minc, righI

We||, even tnct': ncI Ihe /|phc |eve| cf ccmmuniccIicn IhcI lm Ic|king
cLcuI.

Ihe /|phc |eve| cf ccmmuniccIicn IhcI lm Ic|king cLcuI, wcu|c Le if
:cmecne were Ic :cy, A: | wctcnec ||cn tne cc|ccny c| ny ncte| |ccn.
tne :ett|ng :un ccu:ec cn cncz|ng ||cw c| c|cnge cnc pu|p|e upcn tne
ccecn. w|tn tncu:cnc: c| c|cncnc: ccnc|ng c|cng tne :u||cce.

IhcI: c |iII|e cn Ihe pceIic :ice, LuI Ihe pcinI i: IhcI ycu gcI c very vivic
menIc| picIure frcm iI, righI
We||, Ihe mc:I effecIive /|phc hc: Ihe cLi|iIy Ic :peck Ic pecp|e in c wcy
IhcI crecIe: very vivic imcge: in:ice Ihe minc.

/ :c|e:mcn mighI :cy, Ycu c|e gc|ng tc |ee| :c |e|cxec wnen ycu :|t |n
tn|: cnc||.
8uI cn /LFH/ :c|e:mcn wcu|c :cy, Ycu w||| |ee| tne ccne: cnc t|gntne::
c| ycu| nu:c|e: ceccn|ng :c |e|cxec wnen ycu :|t |n tn|: cnc||.

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73


IhcI kinc cf Ic|k wi|| ccu:e ycu Ic fee| ycur mu:c|e: re|cxing, even Lefcre
ycu :iI in IhcI chcir. FreIIy ccc|, huh

Sc, whcI cLcuI :cmeIhing ccmmcn cnc everyccy Hcw wcu|c c 8eIc
Ic|k, cnc hcw wcu|c cn /|phc Ic|k
/ 8eIc mighI :cy, Let': g|cc c c|te tc ect ct tnct g|ect ncncu|ge|
p|cce. | wcnt tc t|y tne|| new cc|ceque cu|ge|. /n /|phc mighI wcrc iI
mcre |ike, |'n |n tne nccc |c| tnct g|ect ncncu|ge| p|cce. | wcnce| ncw
tnct new cc|cecue cu|ge| tc:te:

DicnI ncIice much cf c cifference in IhcI We||, Ihe cifference i:, Ihe wcy
Ihe /|phc wcrcec iI, ccu:e: Ihe minc Ic imcgine whcI Ihe LcrLecue
Lurger mighI Ic:Ie |ike.

/nyIime Ihing: cre wcrcec |ike, l wcncer hcw..." WhcI wcu|c iI Le
|ike..." lmcgine if..." cr Hcw cce: iI fee|..." ycu cre ccu:ing Ihe minc cf
Ihe |i:Iener Ic crecIe imcge:, fee|ing:, cnc pc::iL|y emcIicn:, in re|cIicn Ic
whcI wc: :cic. /nc if iI: cne Ihing cn /|phc ccn cc we||, iI: IhcI Ihey
ccn inf|uence Ihc:e Ihing:.

Icke c few minuIe: Ic cc Iwc :epcrcIe exerci:e:.

EXEFClSE CNE
lmcgine Ihe mc:I LecuIifu| :unri:e, nighI :ky, cr :un:eI IhcI ycu ccn
picIure. Cnce ycu ccn c|ecr|y picIure whichever cne ycu chc:e, wriIe
ccwn c very ceIci|ec ce:cripIicn cf iI, :c IhcI if :cmecne were Ic recc iI,
Ihey wcu|c Le cL|e Ic picIure Ihe :cme Ihing IhcI ycu cic.

EXEFClSES IWC


/cciIicnc||y, cn /|phc ccn Icke cn cLjecIicn cr negcIive ccmmenI, cnc
cfIen re:pcnc in c wcy IhcI chcnge: hcw Ihe cIher per:cn view: whcI
Ihey Ihem:e|ve: ju:I :cic.
ln Neurc-Lingu:iIic Frcgrcmming {NLF) Ihere i: c Ierm cc||ec refrcme" cr
refrcming." /nc wiIh c|| cue re:pecI Ic Ihe NLF ccmmuniIy, l ccnI |ike
Ihe wcrc FEfrcme" Leccu:e iI :cunc: :c FE:IricIing. / frcme i:,
e::enIic||y, c Lcx. / :ucre cr recIcngu|cr cr cL|cng Lcx. l'mju:I curicu: c:
Ic WHY ycu wcu|c chcnge Ihe wcy Ic |cck cI :cmeIhing, yeI :Ii|| keep iI in
:cmeIhing c: re:IricIing, |imiIing, c: c Lcx, c frcme
Sc whi|e l ccmp|eIe|y cgree wiIh Ihe meIhcc cnc prcce:: cf refrcming"
ycur Le|ief:, l prefer c cifferenI FE. / cifferenI FE IhcI l cc|| c FEc|iIy."
8eccu:e when ycu rec||y Ihink cLcuI iI, Ihe whc|e pcinI i: Ic c|Ier Ihe
FEc|iIy" ycu :ee, righI
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74


Sc hcw cc ycu c|Ier Ihe FEc|iIy cf c ccmmenI
Here i: cn excmp|e:

Jce: IhcI i: :uch c cumL :cng."
ME: l: iI c cumL :cng, cr i: iI c :cng ycu ccnI uncer:Icnc"
Jce: Ihe :cng mcke: nc :en:e, :c l gue:: l ccnI uncer:Icnc iI."
ME: Ihen iI: ncI c cumL :cng, iI: ju:I c :cng ycu ccnI uncer:Icnc."
Jce: Which mcke: iI c cumL :cng."
ME: Sc ycure Ie||ing me IhcI everyIhing ycu ccnI uncer:Icnc, i:
cumL"
Jce: We||, nc."
ME: Sc i: iI pc::iL|e IhcI Ihe :cng i: ncI cumL, iI: ju:I ncI c :cng IhcI
cppec|: Ic ycu /fIer c||, Ihere cre :cng: IhcI ycu |ike, which cIher
pecp|e mighI Ihink cre cumL. 8uI IhcI cce:nI mecn Iheyre righI,
righI"
Jce: Uh...righI."
ME: Sc Ihe :cng i:nI cumL, iI: ju:I ncI c :cng IhcI cppec|: Ic ycu."
Jce: Yech, l gue:: ycure righI. Ccn l chcnge Ihe :IcIicn ncw"
{He chcnge: Ihe :IcIicn cnc finc: c :cng he |ike:)
ME: IhcI :cng i: cumL, mcn."
Jce: Nc iI: ncI. {|cugh:) lI: ju:I ncI c :cng IhcI cppec|: Ic ycu."
ME: /h, Ihe :IucenI |ecrn: we||."

Ihere cre c cczen wcy: l ccu|c hcve cec|I wiIh Jce: cumL :cng"
ccmmenI, cnc l chc:e Ic cec| wiIh iI Ly geIIing him Ic rec|ize IhcI Ihere i:
c cifference LeIween :cmeIhing Leing cumL, cnc :cmeIhing :imp|y ncI
Leing uncer:Iccc.

Ihe pcinI cf c|| cf Ihi:, i: Ic geI ycu in Ihe hcLiI cf fincing wcy: Ic :ee
Ihing: cifferenI|y. WheIher iI: c cumL :cng, c crczy criver, c ruce wciIer,
cr whcIever e|:e ccme: Ihrcugh ycur ccy, finc c wcy Ic unecrIh Ihe
pc:iIive c:pecI cf iI in IhcI per:cn: minc. /nc Ihe Le:I wcy Ic cc IhcI, i:
Ic prccIice, prccIice, prccIice. Ihe mcre ycu cc iI, Ihe ec:ier iI Leccme:,
cnc u|IimcIe|y wi|| re:u|I in ycu ccmmuniccIing in c wcy IhcI i: :Ircnger
cnc much mcre prccucIive.








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75


Ihe A|pho Emot|ons

Ihe u|IimcIe mec:ure cf c mcn i: ncI where he :Icnc: in mcmenI: cf
ccmfcrI cnc ccnvenience, LuI where he :Icnc: cI Iime: cf chc||enge
cnc ccnIrcver:y."
~McrIin LuIher King, Jr.


Ihere i: nc :uch Ihing c: hcving c Lcc" emcIicn, cn|y c reccIicn IhcI ycu
mighI |cIer regreI, which wc: inf|uencec Ly Ihe emcIicn. Ycure
re:pcn:iL|e fcr ycur ccIicn:, cnc hcw ycu |eI ycur emcIicn: inf|uence
Ihem.
Ihe emcIicn: cf cn /|phc, LcIh Ihe emcIicn: Ihey revec|, c: we|| c: Ihe
emcIicn: Ihey ccncec|, cre crucic| Ic virIuc||y every c:pecI cf Iheir |ife.
Hcw ycu expre:: ycur:e|f, cnc hcw ycu mcke cIher: fee|, ccn cI Iime: Le
increciL|y pcwerfu|, cnc cIher Iime: IcIc||y ci:c:Ircu:.
Sc Ihe emcIicn: ycu hcve, neec Ic Le vcriec, cepencing cn whcI ycure
Irying Ic ccccmp|i:h.
Hcw c 8eIc hcnc|e: rejecIicn" i: cifferenI Ihcn hcw cn /|phc hcnc|e: iI.
8uI IhcI :hcu|c Le cn cLvicu: IruIh, :c IhcI: ncIhing new Ic ycu.
8uI whcI ycu mighI nct kncw, cre Ihe wcy: cn /|phc H/NDLES Ihing: |ike
rejecIicn."
lm :ure IhcI :cme cf ycu picIure Ihe /|phc Leing rejecIec cnc Ihey
:imp|y :cy, WhcIever." Ycu Ihink IhcI Ihe /|phc cce:nI rec||y ccre, cnc
IhcI Ihey Ihink: iI: Ihe cIher per:cn: |c::. FighI
We||, :|ighI|y cccurcIe, LuI ncI exccI|y.

Ye:, Ihe /|phc i: ncI cru:hec Ly Ihe rejecIicn," cnc kncw: IhcI Ihere wi||
Le cIher cppcrIuniIie:. 8uI c IFUE /|phc cce:nI ju:I menIc||y wc|k cwcy
cnc never Ihink cLcuI iI cgcin. ln IruIh, cn /|phc i: :mcrI encugh Ic gc
cver Ihe whc|e :iIucIicn cnc |ecrn frcm iI. Ihey :ee where ccju:ImenI:
mighI neec Ic Le mcce in Iheir cpprccch, Lehcvicr, cnc cuIwcrc
per:cnc.
/fIer c||, Ic :Icy King, cne mu:I prcIecI cgcin:I Ihe :cme cIIcck:
hcppening cver cnc cver cgcin.
/nc un|e:: ycu cre ccmp|eIe|y emcIicnc||y ceIcchec, Ihere WlLL Le c
fee|ing cf ci:cppcinImenI, :ccne::, fru:IrcIicn, cnger, cr ccnfu:icn, when
fccec wiIh c rejecIicn." Hcwever, un|ike Ihe ccmmcn|y he|c Le|ief, Ihe:e
fee|ing:, Ihe:e emcIicn:, cre ncI negcIive. Every, cnc c||, emcIicn: IhcI
ycu fee|, :erve c purpc:e. Cur emcIicn: cre :imp|y Ihe Lrcin :encing u:
:ignc|:," Irying Ic ce|iver me::cge:. /nc we neec Ic Icke Ihe Iime Ic
|i:Ien" cnc uncer:Icnc whcI me::cge: cre in Ihe:e :ignc|:, :c IhcI we
ccn ncI cn|y :Icy fccu:ec cn whcI |e::cn iI i: we neec Ic |ecrn, LuI Ic c|:c
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76


Le mcre cwcre cf when Ihe:e emcIicn: cre cLcuI Ic crrive, :c we ccn
prepcre Ic receive" Ihe ccming me::cge. Fci|ure Ic cc :c, re:u|I: in Ihe
emcIicn Leccming mcre inIen:e, c: Ihe Lrcin i: ceIerminec Ic geI
Ihrcugh Ic u:. Which ccn ccu:e :ccne:: Ic Leccme cepre::icn, cnger Ic
Leccme rcge, cnc fru:IrcIicn Ic Leccme :e|f-|ccIhing.

Ihink cf iI |ike ycur Lrcin i: c ccr, cnc ycu cre Ihe criver. /: ycu crive,
:cmeIime: Ihe ccr mighI :IcrI Ic mcke c funny nci:e. Ccr: IhcI cre running
fine cc ncI cc IhcI, :c cLvicu:|y Ihe ccr i: :encing ycu c :ignc| Ly wcy cf
Ihe funny nci:e. / :ignc| IhcI :cmeIhing neec: Ic Le |cckec cI.
lf ycu ju:I ccnIinue Ic crive, wiIhcuI Irying Ic check cuI whcI Ihe prcL|em
mighI Le, IhcI funny nci:e ccn Leccme c rcII|ing nci:e. /nc if :Ii|| |efI
uncheckec, IhcI rcII|ing nci:e ccn Leccme c |cuc Lcnging nci:e IhcI
c|:c Lring: fcrIh c cccr cf Lurning f|uic: cnc ruLLer. 8y IhcI Iime, ycuve
c||cwec Ihe prcL|em Ic geI cuI cf ccnIrc|, cnc Ihere wi|| Le c mcre
:ericu: cc:I Ihcn when iI fir:I :IcrIec. / :imp|e funny nci:e" grew Ic c
Lcnging nci:e wiIh cccr:" cnc ycu cre ncI c very hcppy per:cn cLcuI iI.
Hcwever, hcc ycu Icken Ihe Iime Ic check cuI IhcI funny nci:e" {Ihe
:ignc|) Ihen ycu ccu|c hcve |ecrnec why iI wc: hcppening {Ihe
me::cge). /nc in ccing :c, |ecrn whcI ycu mighI hcve Ic cc cifferenI|y :c
IhcI iI eiIher cce: ncI hcppen cgcin, cr i: c |e:: ccmcging i::ue |cIer.

Dc ycu fc||cw me cn IhcI pcinI

Ju:I in cc:e, |eI me mcke iI even :imp|er: When Ihe emcIicn hcppen:,
SICF fcr c mcmenI, Lefcre reccIing, cnc ju:I Ihink cf c|| Ihe he|pfu|
cuIccme: Ihi: emcIicn i: Irying Ic geI ycu Ic.

8ut. ncw cc | kncw wnct tc '||:ten' |c| Hcw cc | cete|n|ne wnct c
ne|p|u| cutccne n|gnt ce

VEFY gccc ue:Iicn:l

Ihe cn:wer Ic Ihe fir:I pcrI i:, ycu wcnI kncw. /I |ec:I ncI cI fir:I. Cn|y
cver Iime wi|| ycu :IcrI Ic Leccme mcre :ki||ec cI kncwing whcI Ic |i:Ien"
fcr.
8uI ccnI pcnicl Ihe ec:ie:I wcy Ic geI :IcrIec in kncwing whcI Ic |i:Ien
fcr, i: Ic c:k ycur:e|f, WhcI me::cge: mighI l neec Ic |i:Ien fcr in Ihi:
emcIicn righI ncw" Ycur :uLccn:cicu: minc i: c|wcy: Ihere Ic he|p ycu.
Sc Ly c:king ycur:e|f Ihi: ue:Iicn, ycure giving iI :cmeIhing Ic he|p ycu
wiIh. /nc Ihe mcre ycu cc iI, Ihe mcre ycur :uLccn:cicu: minc wi||
Leccme Ircinec Ic kncw, Ch, cncIher emcIicn, iI': Iime Ic |i:I whcI
me::cge: cre in iI." {/c|e cccut tnct |n c ncnent.)

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Ihe cn:wer Ic Ihe :eccnc pcrI, i: preIIy much Ihe :cme c: Ihe fir:I pcrI. /
he|pfu| cuIccme" i: :uLjecIive Ihcugh. lI: inf|uencec Ly whcI YCU
perceive c: Leing he|pfu|. 8UI, :cmeIime: c he|pfu| cuIccme cn|y
Leccme: :een c: he|pfu| |cng /FIEF Ihe cuIccme hc: ccme.
Ccnfu:ec
LeI me c|crify iI Ly Ie||ing ycu c rec| |ife experience IhcI hcppenec Ic c
guy ncmec Eric.

Lccking fcr c jcL cne ccy, Eric wc: puIIing in cpp|iccIicn: cI c |ccc| mc||.
He knew he hcc gccc pecp|e :ki||:, :c he wc: cpp|ying fcr :c|e:/cu:Icmer
:ervice pc:iIicn:.
/|| wc: gcing gccc, unIi| he hcppenec Ic geI cn immecicIe inIerview cI
cne cf Ihe c|cIhing :Icre:. Ihe per:cn inIerviewing Eric c:kec, Wnct k|nc
c| :c|e: expe||ence cc ycu ncve F||c |ep||ec. We||. | wc|kec |c| c t|ne
:nc|e cu:|ne::. :ett|ng up cppc|ntnent: |c| ccup|e: tc ccne |n cnc c|c|n
c p||ze tney ncc wcn. Ycu kncw. cne c| tnc:e cec|: wne|e tney've
c||eccy wcn cne c| tn|ee p||ze:. cut tney ncve tc :|t tn|cugn cn ncu| |cng
:c|e: p|tcn ce|c|e tney get tne p||ze.
Ihe inIerviewer c:kec, Ycu :et up tne cppc|ntnent:
Eric rep|iec, Ye:.
nct': nct :c|e:. Ihe inIerviewer :IcIec.
Su|e |t |:. rep|iec Eric. Ycu ncve tc :e|| tnen cn tne |cec c| ccn|ng
ccwn |c| tne ncu| |cng :c|e: p|tcn.
Ihe inIerviewer :hcck hi: hecc. Nc. tnct': nct :c|e:. ceccu:e tney'|e
ccn|ng ccwn tc c|c|n tne|| p||ze. ne :c|e: wcu|c ce || ycu we|e tne cne
tc|k|ng tc tnen |c| tnct ncncctc|y ncu| |cng p|tcn tney ncve tc :|t
tn|cugn tc get tne p||ze.
We||. || ycu'|e gc|ng tc |n:u|t ny c|ecent|c|:. :cic Eric, | gue:: we'|e
ccne ne|e.
/nc Eric |efI in cn cngry mccc.

Eric wc: cpp|ying fcr c :c|e: pc:iIicn, LuI fe|I in:u|Iec IhcI Ihe inIerviewer
cic ncI :ee hi: Iime :hcre jcL c: :c|e: experience. Fee|ing Ihe cnger cf
:eeing iI c: cn in:u|I, Eric fci|ec Ic :ee Ihe he|pfu| cuIccme IhcI emcIicn
wc: Lringing.
Ycu :ee, in cny :c|e: pc:iIicn Ihere cre gcing Ic Le cu:Icmer: whc wi|| cc
cnc :cy Ihing: IhcI irriIcIe ycu, cnc mcyLe even mcke ycu fee| in:u|Iec cr
Le|iII|ec. 8uI Ihe key Ic Leing :ucce::fu|, i: u:ing Ihe energy cf IhcI cnger
Ic empcwer ycu Ic geI Ihe :c|el ln cIher wcrc:, hi: cnger wc: c :ignc|
IhcI he hcc Ic :e||" Ihe inIerviewer cn hi: :c|e: cLi|iIy, which wcu|c |ike|y
re:u|I in him geIIing Ihe jcL, which ycu wi|| cgree wcu|c Le c he|pfu|
cuIccme. FighI
Hcc Eric |cckec cI Ihe inIerviewer: in:u|I" c: c Ie:I" in:Iecc, he ccu|c
hcve u:ec Ihe chc||enge c: c grecI wcy Ic :hcw IhcI he ccn remcin
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78


cc|m cnc ccnvincing encugh Ic inf|uence Ihe inIerviewer IhcI he hc:
:c|e: cLi|iIy. Fcr excmp|e, Eric :hcu|c hcve pcinIec cuI IhcI whi|e he wc:
ncI cirecI|y :e||ing in Ihe IrcciIicnc| :en:e, hi: jcL c: cn cppcinImenI :eIIer
reuirec him Ic ccnvince Ihe:e perfecI :Ircnger: Ic give cn hcur cf Iheir
Iime, cnc Ic :e|| Ihe:e :Ircnger: cn Ihe vc|ue cf Ihe prize Ihey hcc c|reccy
wcn. /fIer c||, in Icccy: :kepIicc| :ccieIy, iI Icke: rcppcrI cnc inf|uence
{twc key e|enent: c| :c|e:) Ic ccnvince c IcIc| :Ircnger, whc YCU cc||ec
cuI cf Ihe L|ue, Ic give up cn hcur cf Iheir free Iime Ic ycur Lu:ine::.
l Ic|c Eric Ihi:, cnc he u:ec iI Ihe nexI Iime cn inIerviewer chc||engec hi:
crecenIic|:, cnc he encec up geIIing Ihe jcL. ln fccI, Ihe inIerviewer
even Ic|c him, Gccc :c|e: p|tcn.

Ckcy, here: cncIher rec| |ife excmp|e.

Frcncine wc: |cic cff frcm her jcL c: c recepIicni:I, LuI uick|y fcunc
cncIher recepIicni:I jcL. Ihe pcy wc: LeIIer, Ihe ccmpcny wc: mcre
:IcL|e, cnc :he |ikec Ihe per:cn whc wcu|c Le her :upervi:cr. She wc:
ccing fine fcr Ihe fir:I ccup|e cf mcnIh:, LuI Ihen her :upervi:cr uiI. Ihe
genI|emcn whc Leccme her new :upervi:cr, irriIcIec Frcncine very much.
He Ic|kec Ic her in c wcy IhcI :he fe|I wc: ccnce:cencing, cnc :he fe|I
IhcI every Iime :he wenI Ic him wiIh c ccncern cr ue:Iicn he wc: ncI
Icking her very :ericu:|y. Sc Lefcre |cng, Frcncine wc: nc |cnger enjcying
ccming Ic wcrk. When her :upervi:cr wcu|c wc|k Ly, Frcncine wcu|c geI
Ien:e. /nc c: :he wcu|c :iI cI her ce:k, Ihinking cLcuI hcw :he fe|I he wc:
IrecIing her, :he wcu|c Leccme cngry.
Ihen cne ccy, Frcncine hcc reIurnec frcm |unch c few minuIe: |cIe, cue
Ic c Ircffic cccicenI, cnc her :upervi:cr c:kec her why :he cicnI geI
Lcck cn Iime. She exp|cinec cLcuI Ihe cccicenI, LuI her :upervi:cr :cic,
McyLe ycu :hcu|c Ihink cLcuI Lringing ycur |unch Ic wcrk." Frcncine
Leccme :c cngry, IhcI :he c:kec, WhcI: ycur prcL|em wiIh me Ycu
Ic|k Ic me |ike lm c chi|c, ycu mcke me fee| :Iupic fcr c:king c ue:Iicn,
cnc ncw ycu wcnI me Ic Lring my |unch Ic wcrk l'm c grcwn wcmcn,
IrecI me |ike cnel" Ihe :upervi:cr Ic|c her Ic ccme inIc hi: cffice. Cnce in
Ihere, he wrcIe her up fcr in:uLcrcincIicn.
Ncw Frcncine wc: |ivic. She Ic|c him Ic :hcve Ihe jcL up hi: c::, cnc :he
uiI.

WhcI wcu|c YCU hcve ccne cifferenI|y Ihink cLcuI iI.
Ihe fir:I ue:Iicn l hcc fcr Frcncine, when :he Ic|c me Ihi: :Icry, wc:, Why
cic ycu |eI iI Lui|c up, in:Iecc cf ki||ing Ihe mcn:Ier whi|e iI wc: :mc||"
(ne te|n k||| tne ncn:te| wn||e |t': :nc|| necn: tc ncnc|e :cnetn|ng
ec||y cn. |n:tecc c| |ett|ng |t g|cw |ntc0 c nucn c|gge| p|cc|en}
Her cn:wer wc:, l Iriec ncI Ic |eI him geI Ic me."
YeI, he cLvicu:|y DlD geI Ic her, cnc iI fe:Ierec unIi| iI evenIuc||y ccme Ic
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c verLc||y exp|c:ive ccnc|u:icn.
Frcncine i: c nice per:cn, cnc i: very incepenccnI c: we||. Ihi:
ccmLincIicn re:u|Iec in her hcving Ihe minc:eI cf |'|| ce qu|et |c| ncw.
ceccu:e | ccn't wcnt tc g|ve n|n tne :ct|:|cct|cn c| kncw|ng ne': gett|ng
tc ne. 8ut |'n :t||| gc|ng tc cwe|| cn |t |n ny n|nc.
8cc hcLiIl
Her emcIicn:, :pecificc||y Ihe cne cc||ec cnger," hcc Leen Irying Ic
ce|iver c me::cge" Ic her fcr cwhi|e. /nc IhcI me::cge wc:, Ihe mcre
ycu Ic|ercIe Ihi:, Ihe mcre he: gcing Ic Ihink he ccn Ic|k Ic ycu Ihi: wcy."
Ihere i: c ucIe l hecrc cnce IhcI :cy:, WhcI ycu Ic|ercIe, ycu Iecch."
WhcI IhcI mecn:, c: iI perIcin: Ic Ihi: excmp|e, i: IhcI if ycu ccnI vcice
ycur ci:p|ec:ure Ic :cmecne cLcuI Iheir Lehcvicr, ycu cre incirecI|y
Iecching Ihem IhcI iI: ckcy Ic ccnIinue Ihi: wcy. lI i: ccmp|eIe|y pc::iL|e
IhcI Frcncine: new mcncger wc: ncI fu||y cwcre IhcI he |efI c
ccnce:cencing impre::icn in hi: wcy cf :pecking Ic her. (nen cgc|n. ne
ncy ncve ceen cc:c|ute|y cwc|e. cnc u:t c|cn't cc|e tc ce cny
c|||e|ent} Ihe pcinI i: Ihcugh, we|| never kncw fcr :ure ncw.
Hcc Frcncine pcic cIIenIicn Ic Ihe cngry emcIicn frcm Ihe Leginning,
pcic cIIenIicn Ic whcI iI mighI Le Irying Ic Ie||" her, :he mighI hcve
rec|izec c mcre effecIive wcy cf cec|ing wiIh Ihe mcIIer. Fcr excmp|e,
cfIer :he fir:I fe|I :he wc: Leing ccnce:cencec Icwcrc, :he ccu|c hcve
:pcken Ic Ihe new mcncger in privcIe cnc mcce her ccncern kncwn Ic
him. Kncwn in c cc|m mcnner, Lefcre iI hcc Iime Ic Lci|. He mighI ncI
hcve chcngec cnyIhing, LuI cI |ec:I :he wcu|c hcve Leen cccre::ing
Ihe mcIIer, ver:u: remcining uieI cnc |eIIing Ihe memcry cf Ihe cngry
mcmenI p|cy cver cnc cver in her hecc.
ln:Iecc, :he |eI iI :immer...Ihen Lci|...Ihen exp|cce, |ike cn cverhecIec ccr
IhcI hcc Leen ci:p|cying c rec |ighI cn Ihe IempercIure gcuge fcr Ihe
|c:I fifIy mi|e:.
Fcr mcny, mcny yecr:, l :Irugg|ec wiIh my cwn cnger, :c lve Leen ju:I c:
gui|Iy cf ncI pcying cIIenIicn Ic Ihe IempercIure gcuge" c: Frcncine
wc:. 8uI l ncIicec IhcI Ihe :ccner l vcicec c ccncern IhcI cIherwi:e
cngerec me, Ihe uicker iI wc: re:c|vec. /nc Ihe mcre l gcI inIc Ihe hcLiI
cf ccing iI, l :IcrIec ncIicing my |eve| cf ccnficence increc:ing. Frcm IhcI,
my ccnvicIicn in my:e|f cnc my cLi|iIie:, recchec |eve|: IhcI l |cck Lcck
cn ncw cnc wcncer, WhcI Icck me :c |cng"

Ncw l wcnI Ic geI inIc Ihe crec cf mcIivcIicn: inf|uencec Ly cur emcIicn:.
/n exIreme|y ccmmcn emcIicnc| mcIivcIicn, i: Ihe mcIivcIicn Ic
ccccmp|i:h :cmeIhing :c ycu ccn prcve :cmecne wrcng. Scic cncIher
wcy, when :cmecne cnger: ycu cr :cy: ycu wcnI Le cL|e Ic
ccccmp|i:h/cIIcin :cmeIhing, mcny cf u: cre mcIivcIec Ic prcve IhcI
per:cn wrcng. We wcnI Ic Le cL|e Ic ccccmp|i:h/cIIcin :cmeIhing, :c c:
Ic |cck IhcI per:cn in Ihe fcce cnc :cy, ln ycur fccel"
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8uI my ue:Iicn Ic IhcI i:, Why LcIher" lI :eem: Ic me IhcI iI i: mcre
impcrIcnI Ic ccccmp|i:h/cIIcin :cmeIhing fcr ycur CWN :cIi:fccIicn, Ihcn
Ic u:e iI c: c wcy cf :cying Ihe cIher per:cn wc: wrcng. 8e:ice:, if ycu
neec :cmecne e|:e: :kepIici:m Ic mcIivcIe ycu, tney cre Ihe cne wiIh
Ihe pcwer cver ycu, in:Iecc cf ycu hcving Ihe pcwer cver ycu|:e||. Fci|ing
Ic uncer:Icnc IhcI wi|| mcke ycu ec:i|y precicIcL|e, :ince c|| Ihe per:cn
hc: Ic cc Ic pu:h ycur LuIIcn: i: Ic :cy, Ncw, ycu wcnI :ucceec."
lI i: YCUF :ucce::, :c iI neec: Ic Le YCUF mcIivcIicn. Sure, we c|| |ike Ic
kncck cn crrcgcnI jerk ccwn c peg. /nc iI lS c ru:h Ic fcce IhcI :kepIicc|
per:cn cfIer ccing Ihe very Ihing Ihey :cic ycu ccu|c ncI cc. 8uI if IhcI:
Ihe mcin rec:cn ycure mcIivcIec Ic ccccmp|i:h :cmeIhing, Ihe ru:h frcm
ycur rewcrc" cf vicIcry u:uc||y fcce: very uick|y. lI fcce: very uick|y,
Leccu:e cnce ycuve prcven IhcI per:cn wrcng, Ihe :curce fcr WHY ycu
were mc:I mcIivcIec i: cver. Ycu gcI Ihe Ic:k ccne, ycu prcvec IhcI
per:cn wrcng, :c ncw whcI Ihe fccI i:, we enjcy Ihe ru:h, Ihe rewcrc,"
cf vicIcry much |cnger, when we hcve ccne iI ce:piIe cur CWN ccuLI:.
/nc Ihe rec:cn IhcI i: Irue, i: Leccu:e cn|y when we ccccmp|i:h
:cmeIhing we cur:e|ve: ccuLIec, cc we grcw.
Ihink cLcuI IhcI.
lf ycu prcve Ic :cmecne e|:e IhcI ycu were righI, Ihe jcy cf iI fcce:. 8uI
when ycu prcve Ic ycu|:e|| IhcI ycu were righI, Ihe jcy ncI cn|y |inger:, iI
c|:c hc: Ihe cffecI cf :IrengIhening ycur ccnficence, cnc ycur fee|ing: cf
:e|f-wcrIh, cnc ycur view cf whcI ycu cre ccIuc||y ccpcL|e cf. /nc IhcI i:
ce||n|te|y Ihe wcy cn /|phc grcw:.

/ncIher emcIicnc| mcIivcIicn, i: ccccmp|i:hing/cIIcining :cmeIhing :c c:
Ic impre:: cr p|ec:e :cmecne. Ihi: i: cifferenI Ihcn Ihe previcu:
mcIivcIicn, Ihi: cne c:pire: Ic gcin fcvcr, ncI g|ccI.

8ut | ccn't cc tn|ng: tc |np|e:: ctne|:. :c |t cce:n't cpp|y tc /F.

/re ycu :ure Dc ycu c|ecn up ycur hcme Leccu:e ccmpcny i: ccming
cver Dc ycu ever Luy new c|cIhe: Leccu:e ycure gcing cn c ccIe
Hcve ycu ever :Iuciec cr |ecrnec c :uLjecI/hcLLy Leccu:e :cmecne
ycu |ike wc: inIere:Iec in IhcI :uLjecI/hcLLy

Yecn. cut | c|cn't cc |t tc p|ec:e tnen.

Fec||y Sc why ncI |ecve ycur hcme |ccking |ike iI i: Why ncI gc cn Ihe
ccIe in Ihe c|cIhe: ycu c|reccy cwn Wcu|c ycu hcve |ecrnec IhcI
:uLjecI cr hcLLy if :cmecne ycu |ikec wc:n't inIere:Iec in iI Cn SCME
|eve|, ycu cic iI Leccu:e cf ycur IhcughI: cf whcI ccing iI wcu|c mecn Ic
Ihe cIher per:cn.
Uncer:Icnc IhcI l :Ircng|y :uppcrI mcmenI: cf Leing :e|f|e::. He|ping
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81


pecp|e, c: |cng c: ycure ncI ccn:IcnI|y :ccrificing ycur cwn
ccccmp|i:hmenI:, i: c gccc Ihing. 8uI when ycu cc Ihe:e Ihing: Ic
impre:: :cmecne, ycu cre Ihen cIIcching cn expecIcIicn. Mecning, ycu
expecI Ihem Ic Le impre::ec, cr ycu expecI Ihem Ic reccI/re:pcnc c
cerIcin wcy, cr ycu expecI Ihem Ic Le cpprecicIive. 8uI if IhcI re:u|I
cce:nI hcppen, ycu :eI ycur:e|f up Ic Le cngry cr cffencec, cr cI |ec:I
ci:cppcinIec.
Sc whcI lm :cying, i: Ic geI in Ihe hcLiI cf ccing Ihing: IhcI impre:: YCU
cLcuI YCUFSELF. IhcI wcy, whcIever ycure ccing i: geIIing Ihe re:u|I.
IhcI mcke: :en:e, righI

YeI cncIher emcIicnc| mcIivcIicn, i: :cmeIhing which ccme: frcm ycur
:uLccn:cicu:. Ihi: i: :cmeIhing which Icuche: Lcck cn :cmeIhing l
menIicnec in Ihe chcpIer 8e|ng Yourse|| Moy Not 8e Iru|y You."
FememLer Ihe :Icry cLcuI Lincc 8. cnc her crcccci|e crecm /nc Ihe
crecIec excmp|e cLcuI Ihe ycung Lcy whc fcunc c penny in Ihe
:cncLcx We||, Ihe:e Ihing: ccn ccu:e emcIicnc| mcIivcIicn in cur ccu|I
yecr:. Fcr excmp|e, c very ccmmcn rec|iIy i: wcmen whc cre in cLu:ive
re|cIicn:hip:. lI ccn Le c re|cIicn:hip where :he encure: Leing LecIen, cr
:he i: Le|iII|ec verLc||y, cr i: IrecIec |ike :he ccn ncI mcke her cwn
ceci:icn:. /nc cuI:icer: |cck cI her re|cIicn:hip cnc wcncer, Why cce:
:he :Icy" Ic Ihe cuI:icer, Ihi: wcmcn i: :Iupic" cr hc: nc :e|f e:Ieem."
8uI whcI if.. WhcI if c: c |iII|e gir|, :he hcc |ifIec her cre:: up, expc:ing her
uncerwecr Ic c |iII|e Lcy, which re:u|Iec in her mcm cr ccc puni:hing her
cnc :cying, DcnI ycu EVEF |eI Lcy: :ee ccwn Iherel" We||, if her pcrenI:
cicnI exp|cin Ic her WHY :he wc: ncI :uppc:ec Ic cc IhcI, iI: very
pc::iL|e IhcI Ihe |iII|e gir| wcu|c inIerpreI iI c:, IhcI crec cf my Lccy i:
Lcc Ic :hcw." Icking IhcI kncw|ecge" wiIh her inIc her Ieen yecr:, yecr:
where :he :IcrI: Ic ceve|cp inIc c wcmcn cnc :IcrI: Ic hcve :en:uc| cnc
:exuc| IhcughI:, IhcI previcu: kncw|ecge" ccu|c :IcrI Ic evc|ve inIc c
new uncer:Icncing. Ihe uncer:Icncing IhcI Ic |eI Lcy: Le nec| IhcI pcrI
cf her Lccy i: Lcc. Hcving Ihi: new kncw|ecge" :he ccu|c finc her:e|f in
c very ccnfu:ing :iIucIicn, if :he fc||: in |cve. She |cve: Ihi: per:cn, yeI Ihe
fu|| expre::icn cf IhcI |cve wcu|c reuire her Ic |eI him necr IhcI Lcc"
crec.
Sc whcI ccn :he cc
We||, iI: uiIe pc::iL|e IhcI :he ceve|cp: Ihe :uLccn:cicu: Le|ief IhcI :he
mu:I Le puni:hec if :he |eI: :cmecne necr IhcI crec cf her Lccy. IhcI
Le|ief ccu|c re:u|I in her uick|y |c:ing inIere:I in nice guy:" cnc fincing
her:e|f geIIing invc|vec wiIh guy: whc cLu:e her. ln cIher wcrc:, guy: whc
pun|:n her. Her :uLccn:cicu: cccepI: Ihi: c: ncrmc|" Leccu:e :he i:
|eIIing :cmecne necr IhcI crec cf her Lccy, LuI :he: c|:c Leing puni:hec
fcr iI. Ccn:cicu:|y, :he i: unhcppy cnc wcnI: :cmecne LeIIer, :he cce:nI
wcnt Ic Le in cn cLu:ive re|cIicn:hip. 8uI iI: cur :ucccn:c|cu: which
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82


u|IimcIe|y win:, when iI ccme: Ic whcI we fc||cw Ihrcugh cn.
Ic u:e c mc|e excmp|e, |eI u: :cy IhcI c |iII|e Lcy wc: pcking c pcperc|ip
inIc cn e|ecIric :cckeI, cnc hi: mcm cr ccc puni:hec him cnc Ic|c him Ic
never cc IhcI. Ihe |iII|e Lcy c:k:, Why" 8uI Ihe pcrenI: cn:wer i: :imp|y,
8eccu:e l :cic :c." Ihen |eI u: :cy IhcI cn vcricu: cIher cccc:icn:, Ihe
|iII|e Lcy i: puni:hec fcr ccing :cmeIhing wrcng, cnc in ecch cc:e he c:k:
why cnc i: Ic|c, 8eccu:e l/we :cic :c." We||, evenIuc||y IhcI |iII|e Lcy
Leccme: c ncI-:c-|iII|e ccu|I, cnc hecc: cuI inIc Ihe wcr|c. lI Leccme:
very pc::iL|e IhcI in hi: re|cIicn:hip: cnc/cr prcfe::icnc| |ife, he i: gcing Ic
fcce :iIucIicn: where he wi|| Ie|| Ihe per:cn ncI Ic cc :cmeIhing. IhcI
per:cn wi|| c:k Why" cnc Ihe cn:wer Ihey wi|| geI Lcck i:, 8eccu:e l
:cic :c." Iwc Ihing: hcppen here, e:pecic||y LeIween Iwc ccu|I:.
Cne, ycu geI |cLe|ec c: cn c::hc|e" cr cI |ec:I c jerk," Leccu:e iI ncI
cn|y hc: c cemecning cir cLcuI iI, LuI iI: c|:c c very ccnIrc||ing wcy Ic
re:pcnc.
/nc Iwc, ycu wecken Ihe cIher per:cn: cLi|iIy Ic finc wcy: Ic he|p ycu.
WhcI l mecn i:, Ly :cying Leccu:e l :cic :c," in:Iecc cf exp|cining WHY,
Ihe cIher per:cn i: ceniec Ihe kncw|ecge cf whcI p|ec:e: ycu. /nc if Ihey
ccnI kncw whcI p|ec:e: ycu, Ihey wi|| Leccme |e:: cnc |e:: inIere:Iec in
|ecrning whcI cce:. 8uI Ly giving Ihem c rec:cn, ycu gifI Ihem wiIh wcy:
Ic gc He cce:nI |ike tn|: Leccu:e cf tnct, :c he prcLcL|y wcnI |ike tne
ctne| Leccu:e IhcI: :imi|cr."

Ckcy, ncw |eI: cc cn exerci:el



















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83


8u||d|ng on A|pho Fersono||ty, Fort Ihree:
Emot|ono| Messoges


Ic he|p Ircin ycur:e|f Ic uncer:Icnc ycur emcIicn: LeIIer, cnc Ic Leccme
mcre effecIive in uncer:Icncing Ihe me::cge: IhcI ycur emcIicn: cre
Irying Ic ce|iver, cc Ihe fc||cwing...

1) Ihink cf Ihe |c:I Iime ycu rec||y gcI mcc.

2) CuI cf c|| Ihe Ihing: in IhcI :iIucIicn, whcI: cne cr Iwc cf Ihe M/lN
rec:cn: ycu Ihink ycu gcI tnct mcc

3) Cf Ihc:e cne cr Iwc rec:cn:, Ihink cf c :iIucIicn when IhcI hcppenec,
LuI ycu cicnI geI c: mcc.

4) WhcI wc: iI, :pecificc||y, cLcuI IhcI :iIucIicn IhcI mcce ycu ncI geI c:
mcc

5) U:ing Ihe :iIucIicn frcm 3, cpp|y ycur rec:cn: fcr ncI geIIing c: mcc
Ic Ihe :iIucIicn frcm 1, cnc cn:wer Ihi: ue:Iicn: WhcI me::cge
mighI ycu minc hcve Leen Irying Ic Ie|| ycu"

) Ihinking cLcuI Ihe :iIucIicn in 1, hcw ccu|c iI hcve Leen wcr:e Ihcn iI
ccIuc||y wc:

7) /: ycu Ihink cLcuI hcw iI ccu|c hcve Leen wcr:e, cn:wer Ihi: ue:Iicn:
ln whcI wcy: ccu|c ycu keep ycur:e|f frcm geIIing mcc"

8) Ihe nexI Iime ycu fee| ycur:e|f geIIing mcc, c:k ycur:e|f Ihi: ue:Iicn:
ln whcI wcy ccn l u:e Ihi: Ic LenefiI in c gccc wcy"


Dc Ihi: exerci:e u:ing c vcrieIy cf emcIicn:, |ike cepre::ec" cr
cverwhe|mec" cr fcc|i:h" cr cfrcic" cr whcIever emcIicn: ycu currenI|y
fee| cn c regu|cr Lc:i:. Ccme Lcck Ic Ihi: exerci:e freuenI|y, :c c: Ic geI
ycur:e|f Ic ccI cnc reccI in cifferenI wcy: Ihcn ycu currenI|y cc.





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84


keo||ty In Is Ihe M|nd



Hcve ycu ever hecrc Ihe phrc:e, Fcce rec|iIy" cr 8e rec|i:Iic" cr even
GeI rec|"

My ue:Iicn i:, whc: rec|iIy cre Ihey ccmpcring iI Ic, Ic ceIermine whcI
Leing rec|" rec|i:Iic" cr whcI rec|iIy" Iru|y i: /nc whcI mcke: IH/I
rec|iIy" Ihe cn|y |cgicc| cr Leneficic| cne
FememLer much ecr|ier in Ihi: Lcck, l :pcke cLcuI Fcger 8cnni:Ier cnc
Ihe 4-minuIe mi|e lf Mr. 8cnni:Ier hcc |eI him:e|f Le |ecc Ly Ihe rec|iIy"
cI IhcI Iime, which wc: IhcI nc cne hcc Lrcken Ihe 4-minuIe mi|e, he
never wcu|c hcve Lrcken iIl He never wcu|c hcve, Leccu:e he wcu|c
hcve cccepIec c rec|iIy" IhcI cic ncI hcve iIl
WhcI lm Irying Ic geI ccrc:: Ic ycu, i: IhcI ju:I Leccu:e :cmeIhing hc:
ncI Leen ccne, i: nc rec:cn Ic cccepI IhcI ycu ccnI cc iI. Ju:I Leccu:e
pecp|e Ie|| ycu IhcI ycu ccn ncI cc cr cchieve :cmeIhing, cce: ncI mcke
iI rec|.
Ju:I c: Fcger 8cnni:Ier c||cwec him:e|f Ic incu|ge in Ihe Le|ief, Ihe rec|iIy,
IhcI he ccu|c Lreck Ihe 4-minuIe mi|e, :c Icc cc YCU neec Ic finc ycur
cwn per:cnc| 4-minuIe mi|e:" Ic Lreck.
ln Ihe 150: Ihe rec|iIy" wc: IhcI c mcn-mcce crcfI in :pcce wc:
ncIhing mcre Ihcn :cience ficIicn. 8uI Ihen cn CcIcLer 4Ih, 157, Fu::ic
cpenec up Ihe :pcce rcce" Ly |cunching cf Ihe very fir:I EcrIh-crLiIing
crIificic| :cIe||iIe. Ihe rec|iIy" chcngec. Ncw iI wc: :cience ficIicn Ic :enc
c |iving crecIure inIc :pcce. 8uI Ihe ScvieI Unicn cgcin prcvec IhcI rec|iIy
wrcng, cn NcvemLer 3rc, 157, when Ihey |cunchec SpuInik 2 ccrrying c
ccg, ncmec Lcikc. Cnce cgcin rec|iIy" hcc chcngec.
Ihen in /pri| 11, c Fu::icn ncmec Yuri Gcgcrin Leccme Ihe fir:I mcn in
:pcce. YeI cncIher chcnge in rec|iIy." 8y Ihi: Iime iI wc: ncI ccn:icerec
:cience ficIicn IhcI iI mighI Le pc::iL|e Ic :enc c mcn IC Ihe mccn, LuI
mc:I pecp|e IhcughI iI wc: |ike|y impc::iL|e fcr c mcn Ic ccIuc||y wc|k CN
Ihe mccn. Ihen Ihe impc::iL|e" hcppenec. Cn Ju|y 20, 1, /:IrcncuI
Nei| /rm:Ircng Leccme Ihe fir:I mcn Ic wc|k cn Ihe mccn.
Sc, ycu :ee, rec|iIy" i: ncI :c|ic.
Fec|iIy i: f|uic, iI c||cw: fcr chcnge:, cnc ccnfcrm: crcunc Ihc:e chcnge:
Ic enhcnce iI:e|f. Fec|iIy" i: cn|y c: unchcngecL|e c: ycu cccepI iI Ic
Lel LiIerc||y EVEFYIHlNG in exi:Ience hcc c mcmenI in Iime when iI cic
ncI yeI exi:I, unIi| iI wc: crecIec.
Ihi: Lcck, Ihi: fcnI, Ihi: fcrmcI, Ihe wcy in which ycu were cL|e Ic Luy Ihi:
Lcck, c|| Ihe |iII|e ccmpcnenI: IhcI mcce geIIing Ihi: Lcck pcic fcr cnc
:enI Ic ycu, ycur cLi|iIy Ic recc cnc ccmprehenc cnc cpp|y Ihe wcrc:
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85


IhcI cre in Ihi: Lcck, cI cne Iime cic ncI exi:I. lI cic ncI exi:I unIi| :cmecne
hcc Ihe Le|ief IhcI iI ccu|c Le rec|, Ihey :cw" iI c: :cmeIhing IhcI ccu|c
Le rec|, Ihey cccepIec IhcI iI ccu|c Le rec|, cnc Ihey mcce iI rec|. Ycur
cLi|iIy Ic kncw whcI Ihe:e wcrc: cre IhcI ycu cre reccing, i: c re:u|I cf
:cmecne crecIing c :y:Iem IhcI cI cne Iime cic ncI exi:I, cnc Ihe enc
re:u|I wc: Ihe Eng|i:h |cngucge, which ycu were IcughI, cnc cre ncw
u:ing.

Sc in:Iecc cf Leing :cmecne whc |cck: cI ycur |ife cnc Ihink:, l ccnI,"
imcgine Ihe re:u|I: IhcI cwciI ycu Ly Ihinking, Hcw ccn l" lf ycu fccu:
cn Ihe rec|iIy" where ycu cre ncI |iving Ihe |ife ycu mc:I ce:ire, IhcI i: Ihe
|ife, Ihe rec|iIy, ycu cre cccepIing. Hcwever, if ycu fccu: cn Ihe rec|iIy"
where ycu ccn envi:icn cnc emLrcce whcI hcving Ihe kinc cf |ive ycu
Iru|y ce:ire wcu|c fee| |ike, ycu cre much mcre |ike|y Ic geI iIl
Cf Ihe HUNDFEDS CF 8lLLlCNS cf pecp|e IhcI hcve |ivec cnc ciec cn Ihi:
p|cneI, NC IWC FECFLE EVEF LlVED IHE EX/CI S/ME LlFEl

Hcw i: Ihi: pc::iL|e
Hcw ccn :c mcny pecp|e hcve |ivec, cnc ncI CNE ever |ivec Ihe exccI
:cme |ife c: /NCIHEF

lI: pc::iL|e, Leccu:e nc Iwc pecp|e hc: ever :een every :ing|e Ihing Ihe
exccI :cme wcy, Ihey never reccIec Ic every :ing|e Ihing Ihe exccI :cme
wcy, Ihey never Le|ievec every :ing|e Ihing Ihe exccI :cme wcy, cnc
Ihey never wcnIec Ic ccccmp|i:h every :ing|e Ihing Ihe exccI :cme wcyl
Ihi: i: :cmeIhing NC8CDY ccn pc::iL|e ci:cgree wiIhl /nc if ycu ccn ncI
ci:cgree wiIh IH/I, Ihen ycu c|:c ccn ncI ci:cgree IhcI whcI CNE per:cn
cccepI: c: rec|iIy" cce: ncI mcke IhcI rec|iIy Ihe cn|y pc::iL|e ncr
|cgicc| ncr cccepIcL|e cnel
lmcgine Ihe pc::iLi|iIie:...cver Ihree Li||icn pecp|e currenI|y |iving cn Ihi:
p|cneI...ecch wiIh Iheir cwn rec|iIy"....cnc c|| cf Ihem cre righI.
Sc if Ihere cre Li||icn: cf rec|iIie:, Ihen :ure|y ycu ccn chcnge Ihe CNE ycu
hcve cnc L|enc iI wiIh cncIher rec|iIy...cr Ihree...Ic crecIe, cnc |ive, c |ife
IhcI LeIIer in:pire: ycu Ihcn Ihe cne ycuve Leen cccepIing fcr fcr Icc
mcny pcinfu| yecr:.

Ckcy, :c |eI: cc c fun exerci:e, cnc geI :cme new Mcjc inIc ycur rec|iIy.






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86


Ihe "Se|ect|ve keo||ty" Exerc|se


1) Ihink cf :cmeIhing ycu ccnI Le|ieve ccn pc::iL|y Le ccne.
{Humcn: f|ying, c ccI Leccming Fre:icenI, eIc.)

Fcr excmp|e purpc:e:, l|| pick A ccg teccne: c cc||ege c|c::.

2) Ncw IhcI ycu hcve c rec|iIy" IhcI ycu ccnI Ihink i: pc::iL|e. Li:I c|| Ihe
rec:cn: YCU Le|ieve IhcI iI i: ncI pc::iL|e. Icke cI |ec:I 10 minuIe:.
{U:e ycu| cu|nc| c| c nctepcc)

Excmp|e: Dcg: ccn't :peck c nuncn |cngucge. cnc we ccn't :peck c
ccg': |cngucge. Dcg: |cck tne cc|||ty tc |ecc. Dcg: ccn |ec|n
t||ck:. cut tney ccn't teccn.

3) Ncw IhcI ycu hcve c |i:I, Icke Ihe fir:I Ihing cn ycur |i:I cnc c:k ycur:e|f
Ihe ue:Iicn, WhcI :pecificc||y ccu|c Le c wcy Ic mcke Ihi: ncI Irue"
Ncw wriIe cuI cn cn:wer Ic Ihi:, u:ing currenI |cgicc| pc::iLi|iIy. ln cIher
wcrc:, if ycu chc:e humcn: ccnI f|y" cnc Ihe fir:I rec:cn cn ycur |i:I wc:
We ccnI hcve wing:" iI wcu|c Le i||cgicc| Ic currenI pc::iLi|iIy Ic :cy in
ycur cn:wer IhcI c |c:er Lecm ccu|c ccme frcm cuIer :pcce cnc mcke
humcn: f|y, LuI iI wcu|c Le |cgicc| Ic currenI pc::iLi|iIy Ic :cy IhcI
:cmeIhing ccu|c hcppen Ic Ihe pc|criIy cf grcviIy.
{Ycu ccn w||te c: ncny pc::|c|e cn:we|: c: ycu ccn tn|nk c|)

Excmp|e: Scnecne ||nc: c wcy tc unce|:tcnc ccg |cngucge. cnc |n
cc|ng :c. teccne: c ccg ncw tc t|cn:|cte tne|| wc|c: |ntc c
nuncn |cngucge. Scnecne ||nc: c wcy tc unce|:tcnc ccg
|cngucge. cnc teccne: c c|c:: cn :peck|ng |t. Sc|ent|:t:
c|:ccve| tne pc|t c| c ccg': c|c|n tnct ccnt|c|: |cngucge. cnc
|ec|n ncw tc ncn|pu|cte |t tc teccn c ccg nuncn wc|c:.

4) Icke Ihe :eccnc Ihing cn ycur |i:I, cnc c:k ycur:e|f Ihe ue:Iicn, ln
whcI wcy: wc: Ihi: Irue in cIher crec:, LuI Icccy iI: ncI Irue"

Excmp|e: ne|e wc: c t|ne wnen c gc||||c ccu|cn't |ecc. cut cne wc:
tcugnt :|gn |cngucge cnc cencn:t|ctec tne cc|||ty tc |ecc
wc|c: cn c cnc|k ccc|c.

5) Icke Ihe fir:I cnc :eccnc Ihing cn ycur |i:I, c|cng wiIh Ihe cn:wer: ycu
gcve in :Iep: 3 & 4, cnc cuI|ine c wcy Ic mcke Ihe impc::iL|e rec|iIy"
ycu wrcIe ccwn, pc::iL|e. Icke c: |cng c: ycu neec Ic ccmp|eIe iI.
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87



Excmp|e: Scnecne ||nc: c wcy tc unce|:tcnc ccg |cngucge. u:e: |t tc
t|cn:|cte c ccck c| ccnncn nuncn pn|c:e:. teccne: tne ccg wnct tne
wc|c: |cck ||ke |n w||t|ng. teccne: tne ccg wnct tne nuncn |cngucge
t|cn:|ct|cn |:. tnen tne pe|:cn :tc|t: c cc||ege c|c:: wne|e tne :tucent: c|e
g|ven c ccpy c| tne ccg tc nuncn ccck. cnc tne ccg teccne: tne
:tucent: ncw tc p|cpe||y p|cncunce tne wc|c:. nu:. c ccg nc: ncw
tcugnt c cc||ege c|c::.


Hcpefu||y ycu hcc fun wiIh Ihi: exerci:e. Ihe pcinI cf iI, wc: Ic :hcw ycu
IhcI given cerIcin Ihing:, even :cmeIhing impc::iL|e" ccn Leccme c
rec|iIy."
Sc my ue:Iicn Ic ycu ncw i: Ihi:: WhcI kinc: cf Ihing: cc ycu wcnI in ycur
|ife, LuI ccn'I hcve, yeI cIher pecp|e hcve iI in tne|| |ive: Since cIher
pecp|e hcve IhcI kinc cf |ife, iI: cLvicu:|y ncI impc::iL|e, cnc iI:
cLvicu:|y c rec|iIy" IhcI exi:I:. Sc Icke Ihi: Iime Ic re-cc Ihe Se|ecIive
Fec|iIy" exerci:e, u:ing c|| Ihe Ihing: ycu kncw cIher pecp|e cre enjcying,
LuI cre :c fcr cuI:ice ycur currenI rec|iIy."
Iru:I ycur:e|f, Ihi: i: gcing Ic Le funl























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88


Ihe A|pho M|nd Vo|ce




Hcve ycu ever Leen cI :cme c|uL, cr :cme grccery :Icre, cr ju:I cuI
:cmep|cce, cnc :cw :cmecne :c Ic:Iy |ccking ycu IhcughI, Mmm, l
wcnI c :cccp cf IH/Il"
Cr hcve ycu ever Leen cI c jcL inIerview cnc fe|I uncerIcin if ycu wcu|c
impre:: Ihe inIerviewer encugh Ic |cnc Ihe jcL

Cf ccur:e ycu hcvel

/nc in Ihc:e kinc: cf :iIucIicn:, cic ycu ever hcve ccnver:cIicn:" in:ice
ycur minc Ccnver:cIicn: |ike, Whc cm l kiccing Scmecne IH/I fine
|ccking wcnI gc fcr MEl" cr l hcpe my vcice cce:nI crcck when
cn:wering Ihe inIerviewer: ue:Iicn:."
/nc in Ihc:e kinc: cf :iIucIicn:, cic ycu ever enc up wc|king cwcy frcm
IhcI hcI |ccking per:cn wiIhcuI even :eeing if he/:he wcu|c gc fcr ycu, cr
c::ume IhcI ycu wcnI geI Ihe jcL Lefcre Ihe inIerviewer even c:k: Ihe
fir:I ue:Iicn

Cf ccur:e ycu hcve.

/nc Leccu:e Ihe:e cre Ihing: IhcI ycu H/VE experiencec, cnc IhcI ycu
H/VE c::umec wcu|c ncI wcrk cuI, ycu hcve crecIec cn cngcing
cic|cgue IhcI wcrk: cgcin:I ycu.

ln Ihe mcvie G|ccicIcr" Ihe chcrccIer Mcximu:" p|cyec Ly Fu::e||
Crcwe, :cy: Ic hi: Irccp:, Wnct we cc |n |||e. ecnce: |n ete|n|ty.
/I fir:I, l ju:I IhcughI iI wc: ju:I c ccc| |ine. 8uI c: l rec||y IhcughI cLcuI Ihe
wcrc:, iI :Iruck me c: cn exce||enI wcy cf :cying whcI gce: in:ice cur
cwn minc: :cmeIime:. Ihe re:u|I: weve hcc in Ihe pc:I, :urfcce in:ice cur
minc: when c :imi|cr experience cccur:.
When ycu hcve cn experience {Le iI c fcvcrcL|e cne cr cn unfcvcrcL|e
cne) ycu wi|| :ee" Ihe memcry cf IhcI experience in:ice ycur minc,
e:pecic||y when ycu enccunIer :cmeIhing e|:e ju:I |ike iI. Ycu Ihen ccrry
cn c cic|cgue in:ice ycur minc cLcuI iI. ScmeIhing |ike, lI wcrkec/cicnI
wcrk cuI |c:I Iime, :c mcyLe iI|| wcrk cuI/wcnI wcrk cuI Ihi: Iime Icc."
/nc Ihen Leccu:e cf IhcI inner cic|cgue, ycu mighI :IcrI Ic imcgine whcI
re:u|I Ihi: new enccunIer wi|| Le. /nc Lc:ec cn whcI ycu :ee" cnc
hecr" ycur:e|f experiencing, iI :Ircng|y inf|uence: Ihe |eve| cf pcwer cnc
enIhu:ic:m cnc ccnficence ycu hcve in IhcI mcmenI.
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89


Sc whcI ycu cc in |ife {tne expe||ence: ycu ncve) echce: in:ice ycur minc
{Ycu |ep|cy ncw tnct expe||ence went) cnc un|e:: ycu chcnge IhcI, iI wi||
echc in eIerniIy.

Fcr excmp|e:

LeI i: :cy IhcI ycu were cI wcrk cne ccy cnc Ihe Lc:: gcI rec||y cngry cI
ycu. Ihe nexI ccy, upcn :eeing Ihe Lc:: cgcin, ycu hcve cn emcIicnc|
cnc/cr phy:icc| reccIicn {nervcu:, Ien:e, cngry, griIIec IeeIh, :ccrec,
jumpy, eIc.) Ihi: reccIicn i: c cirecI re:u|I cf ycur minc p|cying Lcck Ihe
|c:I enccunIer in:ice ycur minc.
Ihe :cme i: Irue when ycu gc cuI, |ccking Ic finc :cmecne :exy Ic geI
rcmcnIic wiIh. Ycu wenI Ic c |cccIicn {cc|. c|uc. nc||. Cente| |c| D|:ec:e
Ccnt|c|. etc.) cnc c: ycu :pcke Ic IhcI :exy pcIenIic| per:cn, Ihey :cic
:cmeIhing ycu fe|I wc: in:u|Iing, rejecIing, cr mcyLe even mecnl /: c
re:u|I, Ihe nexI Iime ycu wenI cuI cnc :cw cncIher :exy pcIenIic|, ycu
IhcughI cLcuI IhcI |c:I Iime, cnc iI inf|uencec why ycu eiIher chickenec
cuI cf Ic|king Ic Ihem, cr why ycu were :c cefen:ive Icwcrc Ihem, cnc :c
cn.

Ihe pcinI IhcI lm mcking, i: IhcI we hcve Ihi: neec Ic jucge cur currenI
chcnce: cf :ucce:: Lc:ec cn pc:I re:u|I:. /nc ccnI pcnic, LuI Ihere i: nc
cure fcr iI IhcI l kncw cf cI Ihi: Iime.
Hcwever, Ihere i: cn c|IerncIe, cnc ce|iLercIe, wcy Ic hcve ccnIrc| cver
whcI ycu fccu: cn when ycure ccing iI.

Fir:I, rec|ize IhcI Ihe hcI |ccking per:cn, cr Ihe per:cn inIerviewing ycu, hc:
nc kncw|ecge cf whcI hcppenec Ihe |c:I Iime ycu were in Ihi: kinc cf
:iIucIicn. Sc, c: fcr c: Ihey kncw, ycu ccu|c Le :cmecne whc i: u:ec Ic
hcving cIIrccIive pecp|e re:pcnc we|| Ic ycu, cr ycu ccu|c Le :cmecne
IhcI c ccmpcny wcu|c Le g|cc Ihey hirec. Ihe :imp|e fccI i:, in Ihe
mcmenI: ycu fir:I cpprccch :cmecne, cr c :iIucIicn, Ihe cn|y per:cn whc
kncw: hcw Lcc|y Ihing: wenI Ihe |c:I Iime, i: YCU. IhcI hcI |ccking per:cn
cce:nI kncw hcw ycur pc:I enccunIer: wenI. IhcI emp|cyer cce:nI
kncw hcw ycur pc:I inIerview: wenI. Sc ncIhing :Icp: ycu frcm
cpprccching IhcI per:cn, cr gcing inIc IhcI :iIucIicn, cnc c::uming Ihing:
wi|| gc LeIIer Ihi: Iime. Ju:I c: IHEY ccnI kncw whcI YCUF pc:I re:u|I:
hcve Leen, :c Icc cc YCU ncI kncw whcI IHlS re:u|I wi|| Le.
WhcI if ycu |cckec cI Ihc:e pc:I re:u|I: cn c|IerncIe wcy WhcI if ycu
IhcughI cLcuI Ihc:e pc:I re:u|I: cnc IhcughI, EvenIuc||y iI hc: Ic wcrk
cuI, :c whcI if Ihi: i: IhcI Iime"
WhcI if, c: ycu IhcughI cLcuI whcI hcppenec |c:I Iime, ycu were Ic c:k
ycur:e|f Ihe ue:Iicn, Ckcy, where ccu|c l hcve ccne LeIIer, cnc hcw
ccn l u:e IhcI Ic mcke Ihing: wcrk cuI LeIIer Ihi: Iime"
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90


l wcu|c :ugge:I ycu prccIice Ihe:e whcI if:" lN /DV/NCE. WhcI l mecn
i:, when ycu're cI hcme, wc|k ycur:e|f Ihrcugh Ihe:e pc:I Lcc" re:u|I:,
cnc Ihink cLcuI whcI mighI hcve wcrkec LeIIer. 8y ccing Ihe:e Ihing: in
Ihe ccmfcrI cf ycur cwn hcme, ycu hcve remcvec Ihe cnxieIy IhcI exi:I:
when ycure ccIuc||y lN Ihe :iIucIicn. /: wiIh cnyIhing, Ihe mcre ycu
prccIice iI, Ihe LeIIer ycu geI cI iI, cnc Ihe LeIIer ycur re:u|I: Leccme.
Ihe minc vcice cf cn /|phc i:, LeI: :ee hcw much LeIIer c re:u|I l ccn
geI Ihi: Iime." Ihe minc vcice cf cn /|phc i:, Yech, iI cicnI wcrk cuI |c:I
Iime, LuI lm gcing Ic Iry :cmeIhing cifferenI Ihi: Iime."
We c|| hcve imcge: in cur minc cf whcI hcppenec |c:I Iime, LuI Ihe
/|phc view: iI c: Hcw ccn l cc LeIIer Ihi: Iime" in:Iecc cf Ch, crcp, l
LeI l|| :crew iI up."

Ycu cic Ihe Se|ecIive Fec|iIy" exerci:e in Ihe |c:I chcpIer, righI Sc u:e
IhcI exerci:e cnc cpp|y iI Ic whcI hcppen: when ycu geI Ihc:e imcge: in
ycur minc. Iru:I ycur:e|f, Ihe mcre ycu Ircin ycur minc vcice Ic fccu: cn
:c|uIicn:, in:Iecc cf cwe||ing cn Ihe |e:: Ihcn grecI re:u|I: cf Ihe pc:I, Ihe
mcre ycure gcing Ic finc ycur:e|f geIIing LeIIer cnc LeIIer cuIccme:.

/: c fcrmer menIcr cnc frienc cf mine :cic, Ihe pc:I i:nI whc ycu cre,
Ihe pc:I i:nI whcI ycu ce:erve, Ihe pc:I i: ju:I whcI: hcppenec."






















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91


Ihe "Lone Wo||" keo||ty


Fcr mcny pecp|e, ecIing cI c re:IcurcnI Ly him cr her :e|f, cr gcing Ic :ee
c mcvie c|cne, i: very unccmfcrIcL|e. /nc iI: ncI ju:I Leccu:e Ihey mighI
hcve /uIcphcLic {|ec| c| ce|ng c|cne). /nc iI: ncI c|wcy: Leccu:e Ihey
hcve :cfeIy ccncern:. {tncugn tnct |: |cg|cc| |n te|n: c| wcnen. wnc
ncve nctu|c| :c|ety ccnce|n: tnct nen cc nct)
Scme pecp|e hcve Ihi: ci:ccmfcrI, Leccu:e Ihey cre in:ecure c: Ic whcI
Ihey perceive iI :cy: cLcuI Ihem. {|'n :c unpcpu|c| | ccn't even ||nc
:cnecne tc ect w|tn ne/:ee c ncv|e w|tn ne.}
lI: c|:c cn in:ecuriIy ycu fee|, cn in:ecuriIy ycu cccepIec, fcr whcIever
rec:cn ycu chc:e Ic Le|ieve iI.
l kncw c few wcmen whc wcu|c rcIher :Icy hcme, cnc Le Lcrec, ju:I
Leccu:e Ihey ccnI finc :cmecne Ic gc cuI Ic ecI wiIh Ihem cr Ic gc Ic
Ihe mc|| wiIh Ihem cr :ee c mcvie wiIh Ihem.
l kncw c wcmcn whc i: unccmfcrIcL|e gcing cuI Ic ecI c|cne, LuI i: ncI
c: LcIherec cLcuI :eeing c mcvie c|cne {When l c:kec her whcI mcce
Ihe cifference, :he rep|iec, At |ec:t c ncv|e tnect|e |: cc|k. :c nc cne
ccn :ee tnct |'n cy ny:e||.} Ihi: :cme wcmcn hc: Ihe inIernc| fecr IhcI if
:he wenI cuI Ic ecI c|cne, :he Ihink: Ihe cIher pecp|e Ihere mighI Le
jucging her, cnc :he geI: unccmfcrIcL|e :eeing ccup|e: cining IcgeIher
whi|e Ihere :he i: cining c|cne.
IhcI: preIIy :cc.
lm ncI :cying IhcI Ic Le mecn, lm :cying iI Leccu:e even Ihcugh iI mcy
cppecr Ic Le nc Lig i::ue, iI cffecI: :uch c HUGE c:pecI cf hcw ycu
mcve Ihrcugh Ihe |ife IhcI ycu're |iving.
/nc l kncw IhcI cue Ic Ihe :imp|e |cw cf cvercge:, :cmecne reccing Ihi:
reccgnize: Ihi: Lehcvicr in Ihem:e|ve:.

McyLe IhcI :cmecne" i: you

Ihe :imp|e IruIh i:, if ycur wcr|c i: cne cf, |'n tcc
unccn|c|tcc|e/encc||c::ec tc ce :een ct c |e:tcu|cnt/cc|/ c|uc.
wncteve|. c|cne. Ihen ycu cre cIIcching ycur vc|ue, ycur :e|f wcrIh cn
CIHEF pecp|e: cpinicn, cr cI Ihe very |ec:I, ycur FEFCEFIlCN cf Iheir
cpinicn. Hcving percepIicn: cf whcI negcIive view: CIHEF pecp|e mighI
hcve cLcuI ycu, cnc fee|ing IhcI encc||c::nent Lefcre iI: ccIuc||y
hcppenec. i: c Lcc hcLiI Ic ccnIinue, cnc wi|| wecken ycur cLi|iIy Ic
un|ec:h ycur ncIurc| /|phc. 8e:ice:, cny Irue /|phc i: empcwerec Ly Iheir
cwn fee|ing:, Iheir cwn :en:e cf :e|f wcrIh, nct Ihe fee|ing: cf whcI cIher:
n|gnt hcve cLcuI Ihem. {l|| Le ceIci|ing Ihi: mcre in Ihe FejecIicn Dce:
NcI Exi:I" chcpIer.)
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92



/nc Lefcre :cmecne jump: in cnc :cy:, We||, i:nI cne cf Ihe :ign: IhcI
ycure c :ucce::fu| per:cn, cn /|phc, IhcI ycure never :cmewhere |ike
IhcI c|cne" l hcve new: fcr ycu: IHE OFFOSIIE IS IkbEI

Ic Le cn /|phc mecn: IhcI ycu ccnI c|wcy: ncve Ic hcve :cmecne wiIh
ycu when ycu gc cuI :cmep|cce. Ic Le cn /|phc mecn: IhcI ycu ccn
finc vc|ue in enjcying c mec|/mcvie/whcIever, c|| Ly ycur:e|f. Ic Le cn
/|phc mecn: Icking Ihe Iime Ic enjcy Ihe |uxury cf ycur cwn ccmpcny.
lf ycu ccnI finc vc|ue in ccing Ihing: c|cne, Ihen ycu cre cccepIing IhcI
ycu reuire exIernc| {cIher pecp|e) :curce: in crcer Ic fee| hcppy.
Uncer:Icnc IhcI iI :ure i: nice Ic enjcy Ihe experience: cf c mec| cr c
mcvie cr whcIever, wiIh :cmecne, LuI Ihe key i: ncI Ic cepenc cn cIher
pecp|e c|:c Leing wiIh ycu, fcr Ihe Iime Ic Le c p|ec:urcL|e cne.

8y enjoy|ng t|me somep|oce o|one, |rees you to moke new exper|ences
w|th peop|e, w|thout |gnor|ng the guest you wou|d hove come w|th. And
toke |t |rom me, some omoz|ng exper|ences hove occurred becouse
someone sow thot I wos o|one, wh|ch e||m|noted the "oh, he'sJshe's w|th
someone, ond I don't wont to |ook ||ke o |oo| |nterrupt|ng them"
{Anc |n /Y |ec||ty. ycu'|e neve| |nte||upt|ng tne ccup|e. ycu'|e cctuc||y
:ee|ng || ycu ccn enncnce tne|| expe||ence. wn||e ct tne :cne t|ne
enncnc|ng wnct |: c||eccy quc||ty t|ne w|tn ycu|:e||.)

lf ycu ccn ncI enjcy Ihe vc|ue cf ycur cwn ccmpcny, ycur cwn :c|iIuce,
Ihen ycu wi|| ncI recch Ihe /|phc |eve| IhcI ycu ce:ire. Fericcl
Ihe percepIicn ycu hcve cLcuI ycur:e|f, hc: c cirecI inf|uence cn Ihe
kinc cf pecp|e ycu crcw Icwcrc ycu. Sc Icke c :ericu: |cck cI ycur peer
grcup, Ihe pecp|e ycu c::ccicIe wiIh, cnc ycu|| rec|ize mcre cLcuI
ycur:e|f Ihcn ycu mcy ncI hcve ncIicec Lefcre ncw.

Sc here i: cn exerci:e fcr ycu, which wi|| c::i:I in e|imincIing Ihe ccup|e
crcving" ycu mcy hcve, cnc rep|ccing iI wiIh whcI l cc|| Ihe Lcne Wc|f
Fec|iIy."










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93


8u||d|ng on A|pho Fersono||ty, Fort Four:
Ihe Lone Wo|| keo||ty


1.
lmcgine ycu cre hcving |unch wiIh :cmecne, c per:cn ycu rec||y cc enjcy
:pencing Iime wiIh. {|||enc. |cn||y nence|. wnceve| |t |: ycu ency tn|:
k|nc c| ncnent w|tn. ) GeI c: Le:I c vi:uc| cf Ihi: c: pc::iL|e, Ihen
ccnIinue Ic Ihe ne:I :Iep.

2.
Ncw imcgine hcw gccc Ihi: fee|:, Ihi: |unch IhcI ycure hcving wiIh Ihi:
per:cn ycu enjcy. /cIuc||y FEEL, cn c: :Ircng c |eve| c: ycu ccn mcke
hcppen, Ihi: enjcymenI.

3.
Ncw c: ycu ccnIinue Ic fee| Ihi:, Ihi: enjcymenI wiIh Ihi: per:cn, Icke c
mcmenI Ic ncIice Ihem SI/FIlNG Ic fccing cwcy. l ccnI mecn imcgine
Ihem vcni:hing, NC, NC, NCl 8uI in:Iecc, imcgine c: if iI: |ike Ihey cre
:|cw|y Leccming Ircn:pcrenI, |ike c :piriI, 8UI, Ihe enjcymenI ycu fee| i: :Ii||
Ihere, iI: :Ii|| c: :Ircng.

***Icke c few mcmenI: Ic cc Ihi: if ycu neec Ic***

4.
CCNIlNUE Ic fee| Ihe ccmfcrI remcin, even c: Ihey fcce mcre...cnc
mcre...

5.
NcIice hcw, c: Ihe:e ccmfcrIcL|e fee|ing: remcin, Ihe :cmecne" ycu
hcc fcce cwcy, i: :IcrIing Ic ccme mcre...cnc mcre...Lcck inIc view.
/nc ncIice IhcI whi|e Ihey fccec cwcy, Ihe ccmfcrI ycu fe|I frcm Ihem
wc: :Ii|| Ihere Ihe whc|e Iime.

.
/: IhcI :cmecne ycu enjcy :pencing |unch wiIh Leccme: fu||y vi:iL|e
cgcin, lM/GlNE c: ycure ccnIinuing Ic enjcy Ihem Leing here wiIh ycu,
IhcI Iheir fecIure:, Iheir fcce, Legin: Ic....L|enc...inIc Ihe fecIure: IhcI |cck
mcre cnc mcre |ike YCU. NcIice hcw Iheir nc:e L|enc: Ic |cck ju:I |ike
ycur nc:e, yeI ycure :Ii|| enjcying Ihem Leing here cI |unch wiIh ycu...Iheir
eye: L|encing Ic |cck |ike ycur eye:...cnc Ihe enjcymenI cf Ihem Leing
Iheir i: :Ii|| :Ircng....ccnIinue Ic cc Ihi: unIi| ecch |iII|e fecIure IHEY hcve,
L|enc: inIc c|| Ihe |iII|e fecIure: IhcI YCU hcve. /nc ncIice IhcI Ihe enIire
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94


Iime ycu cic Ihi:, ycu were enjcying hcw fun Ihi: wc:.

7.
Sc if ycu cic c: ycu :hcu|c hcve ccne, ycu :hcu|c ncw Le fee|ing Ihe
exccI :cme enjcymenI :iIIing wiIh YCUFSELF c: ycu cic when ycu were
:iIIing wiIh IhcI :cmecne ycu rec||y enjcy :pencing Iime wiIh.


8UI WEFE NCI DCNE YEI

8.
Since |cgicc||y ycu kncw ycu werenI |ec||y :iIIing wiIh ycur:e|f, l wcnI ycu
Ic fccu: cn Ihe rec|iIy cf IhcI fccI IhcI ycu :Ii|| enjcyec IhcI |unch ycu
were hcving. Ihe cn|y Ihing IhcI rec||y chcngec, wc: hcw ycu were
:ee|ng cnc |ee||ng whc ycu were Ihere wiIh.
Since IhcI i: cLvicu:|y Irue, c IruIh ycu experiencec fcr ycur:e|f, ycu ncw
hcve cn icec cf hcw iI |: pc::iL|e Ic fee| Ihe enjcymenI cf hcving IhcI
|unch wiIh :cmecne," even if IhcI :cmecne wc:nI c|wcy: Ihere wiIh
ycu.

HCLD CN, WEFE S|LL NCI DCNE YEI

.
lmcgine ycu wenI Ic Ihe mcvie IhecIre wiIh :cmecne {|||enc. |cn||y.
wncneve|) Cnce Ihe mcvie i: cLcuI Ic :IcrI, Ihe |ighI: in Ihe IhecIre gc
cuI, righI We||, :ince Ihe |ighI: cre cuI, cc ycu :Ii|| fee| Ihe enjcymenI cf
Leing Ihere wiIh Ihem 8uI ycu ccn ncI :ee Ihe per:cn ycure wiIh :ince
Ihe |ighI: cre cuI, righI Sc Iechnicc||y ycure Ihere c|cne, :ince ycu ccnI
:ee Ihem. Sc cLvicu:|y iI: Ihe :en:e cf kncwing Ihey cre Ihere, :ince Ihere
wc: nc rec:cn Ic Ihink Ihey vcni:hec when Ihe |ighI: wenI cuI, righI
Sc |cgicc||y iI ju:I mcke: :en:e IhcI ce||ev|ng Ihey cre Ihere wiIh ycu,
IhcI: ccu:ing ycu Ic fee| ccmfcrIcL|e ncI Leing Ihere c|cne. Ycu ccn
cgree wiIh IhcI, righI

10.
Ncw imcgine cgcin whcI iI fee|: |ike Leing cI |unch wiIh :cmecne ycu
enjcy :pencing Iime wiIh.
CcnIinue reccing when ycu ccn fee| IhcI, even if ycu cn|y fee| IhcI c |iII|e
LiI.

Ncw imcgine IhcI Ihere ycu cre, cI |unch wiIh :cmecne ycu enjcy
:pencing Iime wiIh, fee|ing whcI IhcI fee|: |ike. Ihen SUDDENLY Ihe |ighI:
gc cuI everywhere ycu cre hcving |unch wiIh, everywhere excepI where
ycu cre :iIIing. Where ycu cre :iIIing i: :Ii|| |iI up c: if ncIhing hcc
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95


hcppenec. Ycu ccnI :ee whc ycure Ihere wiIh, ycu ccnI :ee cnycne
e|:e in Ihe re:IcurcnI, LuI ycu ccn :Ii|| FEEL whcI iI fee|: |ike hcving Ihem
Ihere.
CcnIinue reccing when ycu ccn imcgine IhcI, even if ycu ccn cn|y
imcgine iI c |iII|e LiI.

Icke IhcI fee|ing, IhcI fee|ing cf ccmfcrI...cf enjcymenI, IhcI fee|ing ycu
fee| Leing cI |unch wiIh IhcI per:cn ycu enjcy :pencing Iime wiIh. /nc
ncIice IhcI c: ycu cre :Ii|| fee|ing IhcI fee|ing cf enjcymenI cf Leing Ihere
wiIh :cmecne ycu enjcy, Ihe |ighI: SUDDENLY CCME 8/CK CN, yeI IhcI
per:cn ycu were enjcying Leing Ihere wiIh i: ncI Ihere cnymcre.

Ncw ycuve ju:I prcven Ic ycur:e|f IhcI iI: NCI Ihe pre:ence cf hcving
cncIher per:cn wiIh ycu, LuI IhcI in:Iecc Ihe FEELlNG IhcI ycu fee| when
IhcI cIher per:cn i: wiIh ycu.
Sc if iI: cLcuI Ihe FEELlNG, Ihen ncIhing :Icp: ycu frcm incu|ging in IhcI
fee|ing, IhcI fee|ing ycu enjcy, IhcI fee|ing ycu ccn give ycur:e|f, wiIhcuI
neec|ng cncIher per:cn Ihere.

IHE CONCLbSION

lf ycu wcnI Ic ceve|cp cnc empcwer Ihe /|phc IhcI i: c|reccy wiIhin ycu,
Ihen ycu MUSI ceve|cp Ihe cccepIcnce IhcI Ihe mcre ycu enjcy ycur
cwn ccmpcny...Ihe mcre ycu re|y |e:: cn neecing Ic hcve cIher pecp|e
wiIh ycu cI puL|ic p|cce:...Ihe mcre ycu WlLL finc Ihe inIere:Iing pcrcccx
cf pecp|e wcnIing ycu| ccmpcny, ycu| Iime. Which cmczing|y encugh,
give: ycu ncI ju:I mcre pcwer cver ycur |ife, LuI iI c|:c give: ycu mcre
pcwer cver Ihe pecp|e ycu SELECI CN YCUF CWN Ic give IhcI Iime Ic.
Lcne|y pecp|e mcke mcre frienc: wiIh cIher |cne|y pecp|e, which cn|y
furIher reinfcrce: YCUF re|icnce cn neecing Ic hcve pecp|e in ycur |ife.
Ihink cLcuI iI Ihi: wcy: lf ycu hcIec Leing crcunc c :pecific per:cn, ycuc
finc rec:cn: Ic ncI :penc Iime wiIh Ihem, righI IhcI :imp|y mcke: perfecI
:en:e, righI Sc if ycur Iime were c |imiIec cmcunI cf mcney, wcu|c ycu
rcIher enjcy IhcI mcney cn ycu|:e|| cr wcu|c ycu give mc:I cf iI cwcy Ic
pecp|e ycu ccnI enjcy








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96


Leoder or 8u||y?




CuI cf c|| Ihe Lehcvicr: cf cn /|phc, Ihe cne IhcI geI: exhiLiIec Ihe mc:I
|ncc||ect|y i: Ihe Lehcvicr re|cIec Ic |eccing pecp|e. Mcre :pecificc||y,
hcw Ihe /|phc" IrecI: cIher pecp|e in :iIucIicn:. lI i: c HUGE errcr Ic
Le|ieve IhcI |eccing" (c| tck|ng cnc|ge} mecn: IhcI ycu hcve Ic Lu||y
pecp|e. Ye:, :cmeIime: ycu hcve Ic Le firm wiIh pecp|e cnc mcyLe even
c |iII|e LiI cf cn c::hc|e, cepencing cn Ihe :iIucIicn. 8uI Ihere i: c righI
wcy Ic cc iI, :c c: Ic Le c |eccer, cnc cn /|phc, ver:u: Leing c Lu||y. /nc
whi|e Lui|cing ycur /|phc :ki||: ycu mcy ncI Ihink IhcI ycu cre Leing c
Lu||y, recc cn Ic mcke :ure cf IhcI.

Fir:I, uncer:Icnc whcI Ihe wcrc Leccer:hip" rec||y mecn:. Ic Le Ihe
|eccer i: mcre Ihcn Leing Ihe cne in chcrge, mcre Ihcn Ihe cne cirecIing
whc cce: whcI cnc when. Leccer: Icke ccIicn, Ihey inf|uence, in:pire
cnc mcIivcIe, cnc guice cIher: in Iheir pcrI in Ihe u|IimcIe gcc|.
Leccer: cc NCI :imp|y give crcer:, ncr ju:I give pecp|e c::ignmenI: Ic
ccmp|eIe, ncr cc Ihey :iI Lcck whi|e everycne e|:e cce: c|| Ihe wcrk.
Ihe |eccer i: Ihe cne whc i: mc:I pc::icncIe cLcuI Ihe gcc|, cnc IhcI
pc::icn Leccme: infecIicu: cn cIher:, :c Ihey wcnI Ic Le c pcrI cf iI.

Ihere cre pecp|e whc wi|| pi:: ycu cff, pecp|e whc wi|| fru:IrcIe ycu, cnc
:cme whc mcy even Iry Ic mcke ycu |cck :Iupic. /ccepI iI, LuI cc ncI
cwn iIl WhcI l mecn i:, cccepI IhcI Ihere cre gcing Ic Le pecp|e whc :cy
:cme preIIy :hiIIy Ihing: Ic ycu, LuI ju:I Leccu:e IhcI i: hcw Ihey fee|,
cce: ncI mecn ycu hcve Ic cwn Iheir wcrc: c: Irue. Wcrc: hcve Ihe
pcwer Ic inf|uence, Ihi: i: Irue fcr Ihe pc:iIive c: we|| c: Ihe negcIive, cnc
wi|| cn|y inf|uence c minc IhcI i: cpenec Ic cccepIing whcI Ihc:e wcrc:
:cy.

Mcke :en:e Cf ccur:e iI cce:l

/nc whi|e Ihere cre Lcunc Ic Le pecp|e whcm ycu inIerccI wiIh, whcm
ycu fee| cre |e:: ccpcL|e/inIe||igenI/effecIive c: ycu cre, Ihi: i: nc excu:e
Ic cemecn Ihem, in:u|I Ihem, ncr IrecI Ihem c: if Ihey cre c LcIher Ic ycur
exi:Ience.
Nc mcIIer whc ycu cre, nc mcIIer whcI ycur |eve| cf inIe||igence cnc
cLi|iIie: cre, Ihere i: :Ii|| SCMECNE whc i: mcre inIe||igenI cnc hc: grecIer
cLi|iIie: Ihcn ycu. Sc ju:I c: ycu wcu|c ncI finc vc|ue in hcving IH/I
per:cn mcke YCU fee| cumL cnc infericr, :c Icc mu:I ycu ncI mcke
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97


:cmecne e|:e fee| IhcI wcy :imp|y Leccu:e ycu p|cce ycur :IcIu:"
cLcve Iheir:.
Ihe mc:I effecIive cnc pcwerfu| /|phc, i: Ihe cne whc IrecI: Ihe per:cn
whc c|ecn: Ici|eI: fcr c |iving Ihe :cme wcy ycu IrecI Ihe Fre:icenI cf c
mu|Ii-Li||icn cc||cr ccmpcny. Simp|y puI, EVEFYCNE hc: pcIenIic|
kncw|ecge cnc re:curce: IhcI ccu|c Le cf vc|ue, :c ccnI |eI c jcL IiI|e cr
:cmecne: mcIerie| pc::e::icn: cicIcIe whc i: mcre wcrIhy Ihen whcm.
Ic puI iI cncIher wcy: IhcI guy mcwing ycur |cwn ccu|c cne ccy Le ycur
Lc::, ju:I c: IhcI rec| e:IcIe mcgu| ccu|c enc up Leing Lehinc Lcr: fcr
in:icer Irccing, ju:I c: IhcI per:cn Lcgging ycur grccerie: ccu|c enc up
Leing cne cf ycur Le:I cu:Icmer:, ju:I c: IhcI menIcr" wiIh Ihe fcncy ccr
cnc 8ever|y Hi||: mcn:icn ccu|c enc up Iricking ycu cuI cf ycur |ife :cving:.

Ihe pcinI Leing, Ihe mc:I effecIive /|phc IrecI: everycne cn cn euc|
|eve|, unIi| Ihey incivicuc||y cemcn:IrcIe IhcI Ihey cre ncI re:pecIfu| cf Ihe
|eve| ycu hcve p|ccec Ihem.

Sc Ihe fir:I pcrI cf :epcrcIing |eccer frcm Lu||y, i: cccepIing IhcI ycu cre
ncI Ihe Le c||, enc c||, cuIhcriIy in everycne: eye:. Ycu cc ncI hcve Ic Le
Ihe cne whc hc|c: c|| Ihe cn:wer:, ncr :hcu|c ycu preIenc Ic Le IhcI
per:cn. Ihere i: cL:c|uIe|y NCIHlNG weck in :cying Ihe wcrc:, l ccnI
kncw" cr l cicnI kncw IhcI." Ncr i: Ihere cnyIhing weck cLcuI c:king
:cmecne {even c :uLcrcincIe) :cmeIhing |ike, WhcI cce: Ihi: mecn" cr
Ccn ycu exp|cin Ihi: Ic me" cr Shcw me hcw Ic cc Ihi:."
Ihe /|phc |eccer emLrcce: Ihe gifI cf |ecrning frcm cIher:, c||cw: cIher:
Ic Iecch Ihem Ihing: Ihey cic ncI kncw, cnc enccurcge: Ihe :hcring cnc
giving cf kncw|ecge. Ycu wi|| finc Ihem mcre wi||ing Ic Le |ecc Ly ycu, if
ycu cemcn:IrcIe IhcI ycu finc vc|ue in Ihem.
Ihe mc:I pcwerfu| cnc effecIive |eccer, i: Ihe cne whc i: cL|e Ic geI
cIher: Ic ncI cn|y :ee Ihe |eccer: vi:icn/gcc|, LuI whc ccn geI Ihem Ic
c|:c hcve pc::icn fcr :eeing IhcI vi:icn/gcc| Leccme c rec|iIy.
Cne cf Ihe mc:I pcwerfu| ceci:icn: ScuIhwe:I /ir|ine: ever cic, wc: cffer
Iheir emp|cyee: :Icck in Ihe ccmpcny. /: Ihe ccmpcny :ucceecec, Ihe
emp|cyee: LenefiIec Leycnc c :imp|e pcycheck. ScuIhwe:I /ir|ine: wenI
frcm :imp|y c p|cce Ihe emp|cyee wcrkec cI, Ic c p|cce Ihe emp|cyee
cwec c piece cf, which re:u|Iec in c ve:Iec inIere:I in :eeing Ihe
ScuIhwe:I /ir|ine: vi:icn:/gcc|: Leccme c rec|iIy. lI wc: c fcmi|y.

Ihi: i: ncI Ic :cy ycu neec Ic give emp|cyee: :Icck in ycur ccmpcny. Ycur
pcrIicu|cr :iIucIicn mcy Le cne IhcI i: fcr frcm Leing c ScuIhwe:I /ir|ine:.
8uI IhcI cce: ncI mecn ycu ccnI c|:c in:pire pecp|e in c :imi|cr wcy.
Ihere cre wcy: Ic crecIe Ihe :cme impccI, even cn c much, much,
:mc||er :cc|e. Ihe key, i: Ic kncw whcI mcIivcIe: ecch incivicuc| per:cn.
Mcney i: ncI Ihe :c|e rec:cn :cmecne mighI Le |cyc| Ic ycur |eccer:hip,
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98


:c Ihing: |ike Lcnu:e:, cnc rci:e:, ccn :cmeIime: hcve c |imiIec cffecI.
ln fccI, ju:I Ic Ihrcw c |iII|e Lu:ine:: ccvice cuI Ic ycu, l wcu|c Le ccuIicu:
cf /NY emp|cyee whc i: Ihere ju:I fcr Ihe mcney. Such emp|cyee: hcve c
VEFY high prcLcLi|iIy cf :Iec|ing ccmpcny icec: fcr Iheir cwn |iII|e up-
cnc-ccming Lu:ine:: {cr :e||ing Ihe ccmpcny :ecreI:), cf LeIrcying
ycu/Ihe ccmpcny if c higher pcying jcL ccme: c|cng, cnc i: c|mc:I
/LW/YS Ihe cne whc i: emLezz|ing frcm Ihe ccmpcny {8e iI fcr c few
cc||cr: here cnc Ihere, cr Ihcu:cnc:, cr even mi||icn: cver Iime)
Sure, we c|| enjcy hcving mcre mcney, LuI IhcI :hcu|c never Le c::umec
c: Ihe mcin rec:cn :cmecne wcu|c Le |cyc| Ic ycu cr ycur |eccer:hip.
ScmeIhing c: :imp|e c: c:king, /:ice frcm ecrning c pcycheck, whcI
mcke: ycu wcnI Ic ccnIinue wcrking here" {Ihi: ccn Le c:kec Ic cc-
wcrker:, ncI ju:I :uLcrcincIe:.)


/nc IhcI everycne, l mecn EVEFYCNE, hc: pcIenIic| vc|ue.
GrcnIec, Ihere wi|| Le :cme pecp|e whc :eem Ic crcin Ihe energy frcm
ycu. 8e iI frcm Iheir whining cLcuI Iheir per:cnc| prcL|em:, Ihem Leing
cverwhe|mec Ly Ihi:, IhcI, cnc whcIever, cr crcning cn cnc cn cLcuI
Ihing: IhcI cc ncI inIere:I ycu. 8uI Ihere neec: Ic Le :cme |eve| cf
pcIience cn YCUF pcrI, ccup|ec wiIh Leing c::erIive encugh Ic pc|iIe|y
|eI Ihem kncw IhcI ycur funcIicn i: ncI Ic Le Iheir ccun:e|cr, Iheir
p:ychicIri:I, ncr Ihe cne Ic re:cue Ihem. lI: cne Ihing Ic Le c :ympcIheIic
Lccy fcr Ihem Ic ccme Ic, LuI iI i: :cmeIhing e|:e enIire|y fcr IhcI Ic Le
Ihe Lu|k cf ycur inIerccIicn: IcgeIher.
Ihere i: c fine |ine LeIween cggre::ive |eccing, cnc Leing c Lu||y. Fir:I,
cccepI Ihe fccI IhcI iI i: gcing Ic Le impc::iL|e Ic geI every :ing|e per:cn
Ic |ike ycu cr cgree wiIh ycu, :c cc ncI |eI Ihc:e pecp|e cffecI ycur
Lehcvicr. Ihe |ine LeIween cggre::ive |eccing cnc Leing c Lu||y i:
crc::ec, when ycu gc cuI cf ycur wcy Ic mcke Ihem wrcng. Ihe :imp|e
fccI i:, cn /|phc cce: ncI cwe|| cn IhcI cumLc::" Ihey enccunIerec
ecr|ier. /n /|phc cce: ncI hcve Ic, Leccu:e cn /|phc Lui|c: :c|uIicn: cnc
re:u|I:, ncI |i:I: cf pecp|e Ic geI even wiIh. Ihi: mecn: IhcI when ycu :ee
IhcI cumLc::" cgcin, fccu: cn whcI neec: Ic Le fccu:ec cn in IhcI
mcmenI, in:Iecc cf fccu:ing cn whcI c cumLc::" Ihey were |c:I Iime.
Ycu hcve Lcc ccy:, righI Dc ycu hcve gccc ccy: Cf ccur:e ycu ccl
8uying Ihi: Lcck wc: c gccc ccy, fcr excmp|e. {Scccp c| c||cgcnce cn
ny pc|t). Sc if ycu hcve Lcc ccy:, cnc ycu hcve gccc ccy:, iI cn|y
mcke: :en:e IhcI ycu wi|| hcve Lcc" enccunIer: wiIh pecp|e, c: we|| c:
gccc enccunIer: wiIh Ihem.
{Ncte. | w|cte 8AD |n quctct|cn:. ceccu:e | cc nct ce||eve |n enccunte|:
tnct c|e t|u|y ccc. c: c|| enccunte|: ccntc|n :cnetn|ng c| vc|ue tc u:e.
|ec|n ||cn. cnc/c| cu||c w|tn)
Sc Le cwc|e cf Ihe Iype cf per:cn ycu cre enccunIering, ju:I cc ncI
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p|cce Ihem in c permcnenI negcIive ccIegcry. Lecrn Iheir uirk:, Iheir
mccc:, Iheir wcy cf Lehcving in :iIucIicn:, cnc u:e IhcI infcrmcIicn Ic
per:cnc|ize hcw Ic inIerccI wiIh IhcI per:cn.
WhcI cc l mecn
Here cre excmp|e: cf 2 pecp|e l per:cnc||y knew, cnc hcw l inIerccIec
wiIh Ihem Lc:ec cn Ihe uirk:, mccc:, cnc Lehcvicr: l kncw Ihey hcve.

l u:ec Ic kncw c wcmcn ncmec Jc, in cn cpcrImenI ccmp|ex where l
|ivec. Jc wc: LuLL|y, frienc|y Ic everycne, LuI cicn'I he:iIcIe Ic Lring up
her mcny :urgerie: cnc Lcwe| IrcuL|e:. /cciIicnc||y, :he ccu|c Le very
:en:iIive Ic criIici:m, cnc hcc c hcLiI cf L|cwing incicenI: cuI cf
prcpcrIicn. Kncwing Ihi: cLcuI Jc, l inIerccIec wiIh her in c wcy IhcI
wcu|c cvcic me hcving Ic |i:Ien Ic c|| Ihe crcmc :he |cvec Ic Ic|k cLcuI,
yeI kepI me in gccc :Icncing wiIh her. Fcr excmp|e, Ihere hcc Leen cn
incicenI where :ecuriIy fcr Ihe ccmp|ex were |ccking inIc c repcrI cf c
L|cnce femc|e whc hcc Ihrcwn c LcII|e cI cncIher IencnI. Jc wc: c
L|cnce femc|e, cnc hcc hcppenec Ic Le :Icncing cuI:ice wiIh c frienc
Ihe nighI cf Ihe incicenI. Sc, :ecuriIy cpprccchec her cnc c:kec her
:cme ue:Iicn:. Ihey never Icuchec her, ncr IhrecIenec Ic ceIcin her.
Fcr ccy: cfIerwcrc, Jc wcu|c Ie|| pecp|e cLcuI Ihe enccunIer, cnc wcu|c
ccc IhcI Hcc ny nc|e |||enc nct ceen :tcnc|ng tne|e w|tn ne. :ecu||ty
wcu|c ncve tn|cwn ne tc tne g|cunc. | ncve e|gnty-:|x :t|tcne: |n ny n|c-
:ect|cn. :c tnct wcu|c ncve :e||cu:|y nu|t ne.
Jc wc: Ihe Iype IhcI we|ccmec :ympcIhy. She wcnIec Ic Le
cckncw|ecgec fcr hcving gcne Ihrcugh c|| Ihc:e :urgerie: cnc :Ii||
mcinIcining c pc:iIive" cIIiIuce. 8uI her me|ccrcmcIic ccnver:cIicn:
ccu:ec mcny pecp|e Ic :cy, nct': nct ny p|cc|en.. cr f|cI cuI Ie|| her,
Cc|n ccwn. ycu'|e :ucn c c|cnc queenl"
8uI Ihc:e Ihing: ju:I ccu:ec her Ic hcve MCFE Ihing: Ic Le cver|y
crcmcIic cLcuI. Sc whenever Jc wcu|c ccme Ic me cnc :IcrI geIIing
cver|y crcmcIic, l wcu|c :cy her, Ycu'|e c pc:|t|ve pe|:cn. :c te|| ne
wnct ccu|c ce c pc:|t|ve |n tn|: cc:e." Ihi: ncI cn|y cuI ccwn cn Ihe
crcmcIic: l hcc Ic hecr frcm her, LuI iI gcI her Ic Ic|k cLcuI mcre pc:iIive
Ihing:.


Gcrccn wc: c guy whc u:ec Ic Le c ccwcrker, LuI Ihen l gcI prcmcIec
cnc l Leccme hi: mcncger. He wc: uncer Ihe impre::icn IhcI :ince he
cnc l :Ii|| hung cuI, IhcI Ihi: mecnI he ccu|c geI cwcy wiIh Ihing: cI wcrk
IhcI Ihe cIher wcrker: ccu|c ncI. He wcu|c ccme Ic wcrk wiIh ccy c|c
fccic| hcir, cnc Icke exIencec |unche:, cnc even Iriec Ic geI cuI cf wcrk
ecr|y Leccu:e he hcc c ccIe. l LrcughI him inIc Ihe cffice, cnc ccvi:ec
him IhcI he neecec Ic uncer:Icnc IhcI Ihi: wc: :Ii|| c Lu:ine::, cnc IhcI
he hcc Ic fc||cw Ihe :cme ru|e: Lehcvicr: cf Ihe re:I cf Ihe wcrker:. /I fir:I
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he wc: cefen:ive, :cying IhcI Ihe pc:iIicn wc: gcing Ic my hecc. l ccu|c
hcve Lu||iec him cnc wrcIe him up fcr in:uLcrcincIicn, LuI l Icck cn
c|IerncIe rcuIe. l Ic|c him IhcI my pc:iIicn, cnc cur frienc:hip, were ncI
ccnnecIec. IhcI my pc:iIicn cI wcrk hcc nc cuIhcriIy when we hung cuI,
ju:I c: cur frienc:hip hcc nc cuIhcriIy cI wcrk. /nc IhcI if he wc: gcing Ic
hcve IrcuL|e wiIh Ihi:, he :hcu|c eiIher :ccrifice cur frienc:hip cr puI in c
:hifI Ircn:fer reue:I :c l wc: nc |cnger hi: mcncger.
Ihe nexI few week: were c|righI, cnc Gcrccn Lehcvec him:e|f. 8uI Ihen
cne ccy he cnc cncIher ccwcrker hcc cn crgumenI. ln Ihe ccur:e cf Ihe
crgumenI, he Ic|c Ihe ccwcrker, /|ke'|| |||e ycu |n c nec|tcect || | c:k n|n
tc. l cgcin LrcughI him inIc Ihe cffice, LuI l :cic ncIhing, l ju:I |cckec cI
him wiIh ci:cppcinImenI. Ihe :i|ence gcI Ic Gcrccn, cnc he :cic, Duce,
lm :crry. lI wc: c :Iupic Ihing Ic :cy, l kncw." Ihen Ihere wc: c |cng
pcu:e, cnc he c:kec, Ycure gcing Ic fire me, crenI ycu"
l c:kec him Ic geI up cnc :wiIch :ecI: wiIh me, which he cic. l Ihen c:kec
him, Ycure Ihe mcncger righI ncw. WhcI puni:hmenI wcu|c YCU fee|
wc: Le:I"
He wc: uieI fcr :everc| mcmenI:, Ihinking. Ihen he :cic, Su:pen:icn."
l c:kec, Fcr hcw |cng" He rep|iec, / ccy, mcyLe Iwc" l :cic in c firm
Icne, DcnI c:k me, Ie|| mel" He :cic, Su:pen:icn fcr Iwc ccy:."
l :mi|ec, Ic|c him Ic geI cuI cf my chcir, Ihen cfIer we :cI ccwn cgcin, l
:cic Ic him, Ycu ccmiI ycu mcce c mi:Icke, righI" He :cic, Yech..l
mecn, ye:." l Ihen fi||ec cuI c wriIIen wcrning cnc :cic, Sign Ihi:. Fee| free
Ic wriIe ccwn ycur :ice cf Ihing: if ycu wi:h." He :ignec Ihe wcrning.
l Ihen cc|m|y :cic, lf ycu ever Lring cur frienc:hip inIc Ihe wcrkp|cce |ike
IhcI cgcin, Ihen cur frienc:hip i: cver. l wcnI fire ycu, we ju:I wcn'I Le
frienc: cny |cnger. l hcpe we hcve cn uncer:Icncing."
Gcrccn :cic, IhcI: ccc|, Mike. Ihcnk: fcr ncI ccnning my c::."
l never hcc cncIher prcL|em wiIh Gcrccn Ihe remcincer cf my Iime
Ihere.


Ihere cre mcny cpinicn: cf whcI mcke: c |eccer." 8uI iI :eem: Ic me
IhcI when ycu Lu||y :cmecne, cr IrecI pecp|e cn ycur Iecm |ike Ihey cre
LenecIh ycu, iI: |ike ce|iLercIe|y injuring c pcrI cf ycur cwn Lccy. Ihe:e
pecp|e he|p mcke whcI ycure Irying Ic ccccmp|i:h, pc::iL|e. lf :cmecne
i: ncI hcncring Iheir re:pcn:iLi|iIie:, cr i: Lcc fcr mcrc|e, Ihen iI :eem: Ic
me IhcI c |eccer: jcL i: Ic finc cuI WHY, finc cuI HCW Ic geI Ihe per:cn
Lcck cn Ircck, cnc keep Ihe Iecm running c: we|| c: pc::iL|e. Ihere cre
Iime: when :cmecne i: nc |cnger u:efu| Ic Ihe mcin gcc|, LuI Ihey :hcu|c
Le |efI wiIh Iheir cigniIy, in MY cpinicn.
Sir Fichcrc 8rcn:cn, Ihe mc:Ierminc Lehinc Ihe Virgin empire, i: c :e|f-
mcce mu|Ii-Li||icncire. YeI he ccn ncI Lring him:e|f Ic ever fire :cmecne,
:c he hc: :cmecne e|:e cc iI. Cn Ihe :urfcce, IhcI :eem: |ike ccwcrcice.
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8uI Ihe wcy IhcI l :ee iI, he hc: c |cve fcr hi: Iecm, cnc re:pecI: every
:ing|e per:cn whc: c pcrI cf IhcI Iecm, :c Ic fire Ihem him:e|f i: |ike
remcving c LrcIher cr :i:Ier frcm hi: fcmi|y. l ccnI kncw hi: per:cnc||y, :c
IhcI: ju:I my ce|u:icn cf why he i: IhcI wcy.

/nc never geI Icc ccughI up in ycur pc:iIicn cf Leccer." lI: c |uxury Ic
hcve pecp|e ycu ccn |ecc, ncI c righI. ln my experience cnc re:ecrch,
Ihe mc:I :ucce::fu| pecp|e cn Ihe p|cneI cc ncI :ee Leing c |eccer c:
Iheir icenIiIy, Ihey :ee iI c: :imp|y :cmeIhing Ihey ccn cc.

lm ncI :ure where l pickec up Ihi: Lehcvicr, LuI l Ic|k Ic Ihe jcniIcr cf c
ccmpcny wiIh Ihe :cme |eve| cf re:pecI IhcI l cc wiIh Ihe CEC. ln MY
minc, every per:cn cf c ccmpcny :hcu|c Le given re:pecI, unIi| Ihey
cemcn:IrcIe Ic me IhcI Ihey cc ncI hcncr IhcI re:pecI. Ycu ccnI hcve Ic
Le |ike me Ihcugh, ycure free Ic IrecI pecp|e hcwever ycu wi:h. Ju:I Le
mincfu| IhcI Ihe |cw|y" mcic cr gcrcener cr jcniIcr IhcI ycu IrecI |ike :hiI,
ccu|c cne ccy Le Ihe very per:cn whc cecice: if ycu geI hirec
:cmep|cce, cr if ycu c|c:e c Lig :c|e, cr whc ccu|c Le in c pc:iIicn Ic
:cve ycur |ife. / Icc hyperLc|ic l ccnI Le|ieve :c. Here: c Irue :Icry fcr
ecch cf Ihe:e, Ic :c|icify my pcinI.

Irue Story # 1:Fcche| wc: c very cmLiIicu: wcmcn. She hcc her cc||ege
cegree in Lu:ine::, :he hcc exce||enI pre:enIcIicn :ki||:, cnc :he wc:
ceIerminec Ic Lui|c her cwn :ucce::fu| Lu:ine::. Cn her ri:e up Ihe
:ucce:: |cccer, :he hcc cpp|iec fcr c pc:iIicn cI c :cfIwcre ccmpcny.
She crrivec cI Ihe Lui|cing, wenI up Ihe e|evcIcr, checkec in cI Ihe
recepIicn ce:k, Ihen :he :cI in Ihe recepIicn crec cnc wciIing Ic Le
inIerviewec. /: :he wciIec, cn e|cer|y mcn in ccverc||:, pc::iL|y c jcniIcr
cr c pcinIer, ccme inIc Ihe recepIicn crec, :cic he||c, Ihen prcceecec Ic
gc Ihrcugh Ihe pi|e: cf mcgczine: cn Ihe IcL|e in frcnI cf Fcche|, Ic |cck
fcr c pcrIicu|cr cne. Ihe e|cer|y mcn c:kec her, Here fcr cn inIerview cre
ycu" Fcche| gcve c :hcrI, Lcck: IhcI wcy." Ihe mcn c:kec her, WhcI
pc:iIicn cre ycu cpp|ying fcr" Fcche| gcve Ihe mcn c |cck |ike he hcc
ju:I fcrIec cr :cmeIhing, cnc :he rep|iec, Sc|e: /genI. /nyIhing e|:e"
Ihe e|cer|y mcn c:kec her, /re ycu wciIing fcr Lcrry WcrIcn" Fcche|
ccnce:cencing|y rep|iec, IhcI: Ihe ncme cn Ihe cccr." Ihe e|cer|y mcn
wi:hec her |uck, cnc Ihen |efI. Fcche| wc: finc||y cc||ec inIc Mr. WcrIcn:
cffice, cnc Ihe inIerview wc: very :hcrI. Mr. WcrIcn Ic|c Fcche| IhcI he
cicnI Ihink :he wc: righI fcr Ihe pc:iIicn. She c:kec, Why cc ycu :cy
IhcI" Mr. WcrIcn en|ighIenec her Ic Ihe fccI IhcI Ihe e|cer|y mcn IhcI
hcc :pcken Ic her in Ihe recepIicn crec, ccnIccIec Mr. WcrIcn: Lc::
cnc Ic|c him hcw Fcche| hcc Leen uiIe ruce Icwcrc him. Fcche| :cic,
Ycuve gcI Ic Le kiccing. lm ncI geIIing hirec Leccu:e c jcniIcr cr c
pcinIer, cr whcIever he i:, fe|I cffencec Ly me" Mr. WcrIcn :IcIec, IhcI
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pcinIer i: my Lc:: fcIher."

Irue Story # 2: Dcvic wc: cne cf Ihe Icp :c|e:men cI Ihe ccmpcny he
wcrkec fcr. He :c|c ink ccrIricge: fcr ccpy cnc fcx mcchine:. lI wc: ncI
unccmmcn fcr Dcvic Ic per:cnc||y gc Ic c new c|ienI: ccmpcny Ic in:ure
Ihe righI :ize wc: crcerec, cnc IhcI in:Ic||cIicn wc: ccne prcper|y. C|ienI:
cpprecicIec IhcI he cic Ihi:, in:Iecc cf ju:I Leing c vcice cver Ihe phcne
whc cicnI ccre cLcuI Ihem unIi| iI ccme Iime Ic recrcer. Dcvic: high
:c|e: gcI Ihe cIIenIicn cf hi: Lc::e:, :c he wc: cfIen inviIec Ic jcin Ihem
fcr |unch. Cn cne :uch cccc:icn, Dcvic hcc Leen inviIec Ic c reIiremenI
pcrIy fcr cne cf Ihe :enicr mcncger:. Ihe re:IcurcnI wc: cne cf Ihc:e high
c|c:: p|cce: IhcI puI :creen: cn Ihe |emcn:, :c ycu wcu|cnI geI :eec: in
ycur Iec. We||, curing Ihe pcrIy, cne cf Ihe femc|e :erver: cpprccchec Ic
c:k if Ihey hcc neec fcr cncIher LcII|e cf wine. Dcvic Ic|c her, We||
hc||er when we neec mcre, :weeIie." Ihen ci:mi::ec her. Whenever :he
ccme crcunc, he wcu|c cc|| her :weeIie" cnc Ic|k Ic her
/ few week: |cIer, Dcvic wc: ccing hi: ncrmc| rcuIine cf vi:iIing c new
c|ienI Ic in:ure Ihing: were gcing :mccIh|y. Ic Dcvic: :urpri:e, Ihe
recepIicni:I infcrmec him IhcI Ihe ccmpcny wc: ccnce|ing Iheir crcer. He
cicnI uncer:Icnc. Wc: Ihere c prcL|em wiIh Ihe ink ccrIricge: He c:kec
Ic :peck Ic c mcncger :c he ccu|c c|ecr Ihi: mcIIer up. He wcnIec Ihi:
c|ienI, iI mecnI c $4,200 ccmmi::icn fcr him. l wc:nI Ihere, LuI l imcgine
he :ci|ec hi: pcnI: when he |ecrnec IhcI Ihe per:cn whc ccnce||ec Ihe
crcer, Ihe cuciIing mcncger, wc: Ihe wcmcn whcm he hcc ci:mi::ec cI
Ihe re:IcurcnI. Ycu :ee, :he wc: cI Ihe re:IcurcnI IhcI nighI he|ping her
gir|frienc whc cc-cwnec Ihe re:IcurcnI, whc hcc Leen :hcrI cf :Icff. She
hcc reccgnizec him c: he pu||ec up Ic Ihe Lui|cing, cnc infcrmec
recepIicn Ic |eI Dcvic kncw Ihey wcu|c Le ccnce|ing Ihe crcer. She
cicnI :cy iI Ic him, LuI iI wcu|c hcve Leen :uch funny hcc :he :cic Ic
him, We|| hc||er when we neec mcre, :weeIie."
Ihi: ju:I prcve: IhcI Ihe wcr|c i: c |cI :mc||er Ihcn ycu mighI Ihink.


Irue Story # 3: MiIch hcc c kncck fcr pi::ing pecp|e cff. He kinc cf
remincec me cf Ihe chcrccIer FcI 8c:Icrc" frcm Ihe /u:Iin Fcwer:
mcvie:. He wc: ruce, crrcgcnI, Ic|| c: c hcu:e cnc weighI cLcuI Ihe
:cme, :me||ec :Ircnge|y cf crcnge:, cnc IhcughI c|| wcmen :ecreI|y
|u:Iec fcr him. He wcrkec c: c :ecuriIy gucrc cI c cc:inc, c jcL which he
cfIen fcrgcI cicnI mcke him c pc|ice cfficer.
We||, cne ccy whi|e cn Ihe jcL" he :Icppec cn Hi:pcnic guy whc he fe|I
wc: Leing :u:picicu:. He ue:Iicnec Ihe guy, ccpiec hi: lD infcrmcIicn
ccwn, cnc c|| Ihe guy hcc Leen ccing wc: :iIIing in hi: ccr wciIing fcr c
frienc. He hcc rec||y Leen cn c::hc|e Ic Ihi: guy.
Ihe ccy: f|cwec inIc week:, which f|cwec inIc c few mcnIh:. Ihen cne
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103


ccy, MiIch wc: wc|king crcunc ccing c fccI pcIrc|, when he hcc c
:uccen hecrI cIIcck. / pc::erLy fcrIuncIe|y :cw him fc||, cnc prcmpI|y
cc||ec 11. Whi|e wciIing fcr Ihe cmLu|cnce, cne cf Ihe pecp|e IhcI
:hcwec up, wc: IhcI Hi:pcnic guy MiIch hcc Leen :uch cn c::hc|e Ic.
/cccrcing Ic pecp|e whc were Ihere, IhcI guy he|pec Icke Iurn: giving
MiIch CFF. Sc iI: nc excggercIicn IhcI Ihe guy he|pec keep MiIch c|ive.
MiIch :urvivec, cnc wc: |e:: cf cn c::hc|e cfIer IhcI. Ch, cnc Ihe Hi:pcnic
guy MiIch cpc|cgizec cnc Ihcnkec him fcr whcI he cic.

/nc Ihere ycu hcve iIl

l hcpe Ihi: chcpIer, cnc Ihe:e :Icrie:, he|p ycu in keeping Ihe Lu||y" cuI
cf ycur |eccer."






























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104


keject|on Does Not Ex|st




WhcI if l Ic|c ycu IhcI rejecIicn cce:nI rec||y exi:I
Wcu|c ycu rejecI" IhcI c: Irue
FrcLcL|y.
8uI |eI me c:k ycu, whcI cce: rejecIicn" |cck |ike l: iI Ic|| cr :hcrI
Ccn ycu Icuch iI l: iI :c|ic, cr p|icL|e, cr wcIery
WhcI cce: iI :me|| |ike WhcI cce: iI Ic:Ie |ike

Ycu ccnI cn:wer Ihe:e ue:Iicn:, Leccu:e rejecIicn" i: ju:I c wcrc.
/nc c: wiIh c|| wcrc:, Ihe cn|y pcwer :curce iI hc:, i: Ihe emcIicn ycu
cIIcch Ic iI when ycu fee|" iI. WiIhcuI IhcI, iI i: c: ncn-exi:IenI c: c
Uniccrn {Nct tc c||enc tnc:e wnc ce||eve |n un|cc|n:.}

Sc whi|e Ihe infcrmcIicn in Ihi: chcpIer :c fcr i: NCI |ike|y c :urpri:e Ic ycu,
Ihe IruIh i:, fcr Icc mcny cf u: cre :Ii|| wc|king Ihrcugh Ihe wcr|c c: if
rejecIicn" were c |iving, LrecIhing, mcn:Ier, IhcI vcnui:hec cur hcpe:
cnc crecm:. /: if :cmeIhing cuI:ice ycur cwn ccnIrc| cnc cLi|iIie: ccme
c|cng cnc Icck :cmeIhing frcm ycu IhcI ycu wcnIec Ic hcve.

/nc cf c|| Ihe pc::iL|e cuIccme:, rejecIicn" i: Ihe cne IhcI hc: Ihe mc:I
inIere:Iing cichcIcmy. WhcI l mecn i:, when ycu geI rejecIec," Ihe re:u|I
i: cI fir:I c pcinfu| fee|ing, yeI IhcI very :cme rejecIicn" i: |cckec cI |cIer
c: c gccc Ihing when :cmeIhing ycu cIherwi:e ccu|cnI hcve ccne,
cccur:.
Fcr excmp|e, |eI: :cy IhcI Mc" cpp|iec Ic c :pecific cc||ege, LuI wc: ncI
cccepIec. Mc" i: cngry cnc hurI cnc fee|: c|| mcnner cf pc::iLi|iIie:
hcve ncw Leen e|imincIec c: c re:u|I. F|c:h fcrwcrc Ic Ihe Fc|| :ec:cn, c:
Mc" hc: Legun c|c::e: cI c cifferenI cc||ege, cnc hc: meI 8c" cnc
Ihey cre ceep|y in |cve. Mc" |cck: cI IhcI rejecIicn" frcm Ihe cIher
cc||ege c: c L|e::ing ncw, Leccu:e cIherwi:e Ihe rcmcnce wiIh 8c"
wcu|c ncI hcve hcppenec.
Ihe excct :cne rejecIicn," yeI Iwc vc:I|y cppc:iIe fee|ing: cLcuI iI,
:imp|y Lc:ec cn whcI fc||cwec c: c re:u|I.

Sc i: whcI Mc" rec||y experiencec c rejecIicn," cr wc: iI c L|e::ing

My effcrI here i: Ic geI ycu Ic fccu: NCI cn whcI kinc cf |c::" ycu fee|
when c rejecIicn" cccur:, LuI rcIher Ic fccu: CN whcI pc::iL|e LenefiI
ccu|c ccme frcm IhcI rejecIicn."
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105


l rec|ize Ihi: i: ec:ier :c|c Ihcn ccIuc||y ccne, e:pecic||y if ycu cIIcchec c
|cI cf expecIcIicn, emcIicn, cnc effcrI Icwcrc :cmeIhing. /nc iI ccn Le
Icugh ncI Ic cIIcch expecIcIicn cnc emcIicn Ic Ihe effcrI: ycu cre
mcking. Which i: why ycu neec Ic geI inIc Ihe hcLiI cf p|ccing |eve|:" Ic
Ihe:e Ihing:.

Leve|:"

Ye:, |eve|:.

Ihink cf iI |ike Ihe vc|ume |eve| cn ycur Ie|evi:icn. Ju:I |ike ycu ccnI c|wcy:
hcve Ihe |eve| c: high c: iI ccn pc::iL|y gc when ycu wcIch Ie|evi:icn, :c
Icc :hcu|c ycu ncI hcve ycur expecIcIicn |eve|: cnc emcIicnc| |eve|:
crcnkec fu|| vc|ume.
Ihe :imp|e fccI i:, when Ihe |eve| cf cIIcchmenI Ic :cmeIhing enc: up
Leing higher Ihcn Ihe re:u|I IhcI cccur:, ycu fee| |e:: Ihcn p|ec:ec wiIh iI.
lf ycu puI fcrIh c |cI cf effcrI, cnc in IhcI effcrI ycu expecI c cne cc||cr
rci:e frcm ycur Lc::, LuI ycur Lc:: enc: up giving ycu cn|y c fifIy cenI
rci:e, ycu fee| ycuve fci|ec. ln cIher wcrc:, ycu fee| rejecIec."
Hcwever, hcc ycur |eve| cf expecIcIicn Leen Ic geI /NY kinc cf rci:e,
Ihen IhcI fifIy cenI: wcu|c fee| |ike c :ucce::, righI

Uncer:Icnc IhcI l cm in NC wcy :ugge:Iing IhcI ycu |cwer ycur
expecIcIicn:, ncr ycur :Icnccrc:. lm :imp|y :ugge:Iing IhcI ycu |cwer Ihe
vc|ume cf expecIcIicn. WhcI IhcI mecn:, i: Ic hcve c c|ecr gcc| in minc,
LuI ccnI cIIcch cchieving IhcI gcc| cn cny cne Ihing.

8uI whcI if geIIing IhcI cne cc||cr rci:e wc: my gcc|"

IhcI: fine, gc fcr IhcI $1 rci:e. Ju:I ccnI |imiI IhcI rci:e Ic cn|y Leing
cIIcincL|e Ihrcugh Ihe currenI jcL ycu hcve. WhcI i: :Icpping ycu frcm
mcking Ihe euivc|enI cf c $1 rci:e Ly mcking mcney cn ccciIicnc| wcy
Se|| Ihing: Ihrcugh cn cn|ine cucIicn, cr wcrk c ccup|e cf ccy: cI cncIher
jcL.
U:e ycur imcgincIicn, rec||y Ihink, cnc ycu|| finc wcy: Ic geI IhcI $1 rci:e,
cr whcIever e|:e ycu hcve c: c gcc|.

Sc l hcpe Ly ncw in Ihi: chcpIer, ycuve Legun Ic rec|ize IhcI ncI cn|y i:
rejecIicn" ncI :cmeIhing Ic |eI ccmincIe ycur IhcughI:, iI ccn mcny
Iime: Le :cmeIhing IhcI nc: Ic hcppen, in crcer fcr ycu Ic gcin c re:u|I
:cmewhere e|:e IhcI u|IimcIe|y :erve: ycu LeIIer.
8uI IhcI i: cfIen ec:ier Ic uncer:Icnc, cnc ncI c: ec:y Ic fcce when Ihe
rejecIicn" ccIuc||y hcppen:. Sc, |eI: p|cy c gcme.

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106


Ihe 5 Cent Gome

Gc cnc geI 5 pennie: (c| wncteve| tne :nc||e:t cc|n cencn|nct|cn |: |n
ycu| ccunt|y}
Ncw l wcnI ycu Ic pick cne cf Ihc:e pennie: cnc preIenc IhcI iI
repre:enI: YCU. FreIenc IhcI iI ccnIcin: c|| Ihe Ihing: IhcI cre Irue in ycur
|ife cI Ihi: Iime. Cnce ycuve ccne IhcI, l wcnI ycu Ic puI IhcI penny in
ycur pcckeI fcr ncw.
WiIh Ihe remcining 4 pennie:, :eI Ihem :ice Ly :ice cn c IcL|e.
SIcrIing wiIh Ihe penny cn ycur |e|t, give iI c gcc| ycu've c|reccy cIIcinec.
WhcI l mecn i:, preIenc IhcI iI ccnIcin: :cmeIhing IhcI ycu hcve c|reccy
cchievec cnc enjcy.
Ncw Icke Ihe penny nexI Ic IhcI, cnc give iI c gcc| IhcI ycu wcu|c |ike Ic
cIIcin. Mcke iI :cmeIhing very impcrIcnI Ic ycu, :cmeIhing ycu fee| ycu
ccn cIIcin LuI ju:I hcven'I gcI iI yeI.
Icke Ihe Ihirc penny, cnc give iI cn impc::iL|e" gcc|, :cmeIhing ycu
ccnI currenI|y Le|ieve ycu ccn ever cIIcin.
NexI, Icke Ihe fcurIh cnc finc| penny, cnc cIIcch Ic iI cn cuIccme IhcI
ycu rec||y DC NCI wcnI. Mcke iI :cmeIhing IhcI, if iI ever hcppenec,
wcu|c pc::iL|y cevc:IcIe ycu.
Cnce ycu hcve ccne c|| cf IhcI, l wcnI ycu Ic p|cce c|| fcur cf Ihe
pennie: inIc ycur r|ght hcnc.
Ncw IhcI ycu hcve c|| fcur cf Ihe pennie: in ycur righI hcnc, c|c:e ycur
hcnc cnc :hcke Ihe pennie: up, |ike ycure :hccking cice, Ihen :|cp Ihem
ccwn cnIc Ihe IcL|e.
LifI ycur hcnc, |cck cI Ihe pennie:, cnc pick up cne cf Ihe pennie:.
/: ycure hc|cing Ihi: penny, cn:wer Ihi: ue:Iicn: Which gcc| cr cuIccme
cce: Ihi: penny repre:enI
Hmm, iI: hcrc Ic Ie||, righI
Ncw Icke cuI Ihe penny ycu hcc in ycur pcckeI. WhcI cce: IH/I penny
repre:enI
Ihe pcinI cf Ihi: gcme i: Ic cemcn:IrcIe mcre c|ecr|y Ic ycu, IhcI Ihe
gcc|: cnc cuIccme: cre c|wcy: righI in frcnI cf ycu, LuI ycu wcnI c|wcy:
kncw if iI wc: :cmeIhing ycu rec||y wcnIec, cr ncI. /nc IhcI Ihe cn|y Ihing
ycu|| ever hcve cny cmcunI cf cerIcinIy cLcuI, i: whc YCU cre.

Ycu mighI hcve rec||y |ikec Ihi: gcme, ycu mighI hcve IhcughI iI wc:
cumL cr :i||y, LuI l hcpe ycu |eI iI: me::cge :ink in.





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107


8e|ng Funny, A|pho Sty|e



lI i: rcre, if ncI impc::iL|e, fcr :cmeLccy Ic |cugh cnc Le cngry cI Ihe
:cme Iime. NcI c Lig reve|cIicn, righI
We||, iI i: equc||y Irue IhcI geIIing :cmecne Ic |cugh, i: :eccnc cn|y Ic
mcking |cve, c: Ihe mc:I effecIive wcy Ic geI :cmecne inIc c p|ec:urcL|e
mccc.

(We||. ckcy. g|v|ng :cnecne c n||||cn cuck: n|gnt cc |t tcc|}

8uI Lefcre ycu gc cuI Ihere cnc mcke c ccmp|eIe c|cwn c:: cf ycur:e|f,
uncer:Icnc IhcI humcr neec: Ic Le ccne c cerIcin wcy.
Mcre :pecificc||y, Ihe /|phc Wcyl

8efcre l geI inIc Ihe rec||y gccc :Iuff Ihcugh, l wcnI Ic :Icp ycu FlGHI
NCW frcm Leing IhcI ccmp|eIe c|cwn c:: l ju:I :pcke cf.

l ccme up wiIh Ihe ncme ccmp|eIe c|cwn c::" Ic ce:criLe pecp|e whc
cre Leing c ccmp|eIe c::" cnc c|cwn" i: Iheir micc|e ncmel Ihey cre
Ihe pecp|e whc mighI ccIuc||y Le uiIe funny, cnc mighI Le cL|e Ic
mcke c|mc:I cnycne |cugh. 8uI where Ihey :crew up, i: Ly mcking humcr
Iheir cn|y rec| cppec|ing uc|iIy.
Ihey mcke :cmecne |cugh, cnc Ihink, Ccc|. |'|| u:t keep cc|ng tn|: :|nce
|t': wc|k|ng." Sc Ihey Ie|| jcke cfIer jcke, cr mcke cne funny ccmmenI
cfIer Ihe cIher. Cr wcr:I cf c||, Ihey Iry Ic give c funny rep|y cfIer c|mc:I
everyIhing Ihe per:cn :cy:. /nc mc:I cf Ihe Iime c ccmp|eIe c|cwn c::
wi|| uiIe freuenI|y |cugh cI hi:/her CWN jcke:, ccmmenI:, cnc rep|ie:.
Ihe ccmp|eIe c|cwn c:: hc: fc||en inIc Ihe Ircp cf cveru:ing humcr, cnc
Ihe mcin mcIivcIicn fcr why Ihey cc Ihi:, i: Ic gcin cccepIcnce.
Ihey hcve Leccme c cne-Irick pcny, cnc l hcve yeI Ic finc cn /|phc whc
i: IH/Il

Sc if ycure Ihe kinc cf per:cn whc :cunc: even :|ighI|y |ike c ccmp|eIe
c|cwn c::, SICF lIlll

Humcr cefiniIe|y hc: cn impcrIcnI rc|e in ycur cverc|| /|phc per:cnc|iIy.
8uI |ike cIher c:pecI: cf ycur /|phc per:cnc|iIy, ycu neec Ic :hcw cn|y
:cmp|e: cf iI, :c IhcI pecp|e geI crcwn in ceeper cnc ceeper. /n
exce||enI excmp|e cf Ihi: i: Ihe Hcwcrc SIern Shcw."
Whi|e Hcwcrc SIern i: c funny-c:-he|| guy c|| Ly him:e|f, whcI ccc: Ic Ihe
enjcymenI cre Ihe :cunc effecI:. Fcr excmp|e, Hcwcrc mighI c:k c
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108


wcmcn hcw mcny Lcwe| mcvemenI: :he hc: in c ccy. {Wn|cn |: cn
ctyp|cc| que:t|cn. :enc|ng tne pe|:cn c|| cc|cnce. wn|cn |: cn FXCFLLFN
A|pnc tecnn|que wnen u:ec :pc||ng|y|} FighI cfIer Hcwcrc c:k: IhcI
ue:Iicn, Ihere mighI Le c fcrIing" :cunc effecI, cr c grunIing" :cunc
effecI. IhcI mcke: Ihe whc|e Ihing even funnierl lf Ihey cic c :cunc effecI
every 5 :eccnc:, iI wcu|c |c:e iI: humcrcu: pcwer. 8uI Ly ccing iI cuI cf
Ihe L|ue, cnc infreuenI|y, iI mcke: ycu |cugh even hcrcer. {Fncugn
cccut Hcwc|c Ste|n. ne': nct pcy|ng tc ce |n tn|: ccck|)
Ycur :en:e cf humcr neec: Ic Le |ike Ihc:e :cunc effecI:, cuI cf Ihe L|ue
cnc infreuenI. /nc :ince l cm :uch c nice Lc:Icrc, l wi|| even give ycu c
rec| |ife excmp|e frcm my per:cnc| fi|e:. Ic :eI Ihe :cene: l wc: cI c
re:IcurcnI cnc wciIing cI Ihe Lcr unIi| my IcL|e wc: reccy. / :Iriking {cut
|gnc|cnt |n tne c|ec c| nctcn|ng :nce: w|tn ||p:t|ck) L|cnce wc: cI Ihe
Lcr :Icc| when l :cI ccwn. l ncIicec IhcI her ncpkin wc: :Iicking Ic Ihe
LcIIcm cf her crink, :c l pu||ec iI cff cnc :cI iI ccwn in frcnI cf her.
Ckcy.cnc../CIlCNl

8|cnce: Ch, Ihcnk ycu.
/|phc Mcn: IhcI|| Le $4.50 fcr :ervice: rencerec. <~~~{Humcr, fcr Ihc:e
whc mi::ec iI)
8|cnce: {|cugh:) Wi|| ycu Icke c check
/|phc Mcn: WhcI: ycur ncme
8|cnce: 8erIhc <~~~{NcI her rec| ncme, l mcce iI up)
/|phc Mcn: Whc cre here wciIing fcr, 8erIhc
8|cnce: My ccIe. We||, he: ccIuc||y my Lcyfrienc.
/|phc Mcn: Ch, Lummer.
8|cnce: Scrry
/|phc Mcn: Nc, l mecnI iI: c Lummer IhcI c perfecI :Ircnger hcc Ic
re:cue ycu frcm IhcI ki||er ncpkin, Leccu:e ycur Lcyfrienc i: keeping ycu
wciIing. <~~~{:|ighI humcr in Ihere)
8|cnce: Ch, he: ncI. He: ccming here frcm wcrk, :c iI: prcLcL|y ju:I
Ircffic.
/|phc Mcn: Fec||y Where cce: he wcrk
8|cnce: Wimp & Wu:: lnccrpcrcIec <~~~{NcI Ihe rec| ccmpcny
ncme.cuhl)
/|phc Mcn: lnIere:Iing. l crcve Ly Ihere cn my wcy here, Ircffic wc: fine.
McyLe he :Icppec cff :cmep|cce fir:I.
8|cnce: {cefen:ive) WhcI cre ycu Irying Ic :cy
/|phc Mcn: IhcI mcyLe he :Icppec :cmep|cce. Ycu kncw, Ic geI ycu
f|cwer: cr :cmeIhing.
8|cnce: {:mi|e:) l ccnI kncw. He mighI.
{| nct|cec c ve|y n|ce :||ve| ||ng cn ne| tnunc. :c | |eccnec cve| cnc ne|c
ne| tnunc c: | ccnnentec cn |t)
/|phc Mcn: Nice. l LeI IhcI cicnI geI wcn cI :cme ccrnivc|. <~~~{humcr)
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109


8|cnce: {:mi|e:, :|ighI |cugh) Ncpe, iI: Ihe rec| Ihing.
{| nec|c ny ncne ce|ng cc||ec. ny tcc|e wc: |eccy. cut | ccnt|nuec
|ucc|ng ne| tnunc)
/|phc Mcn: Dc ycu kncw where Ihe icec cf IhumL ring: crigincIec
8|cnce: Hmm, l never IhcughI cLcuI iI. l gue:: Ihey hcc Ic ccme frcm
:cmewhere. Sc where cic Ihey ccme frcm
/|phc Mcn: Ch, IhcI: my ncme Iheir cc||ing. Ccme :iI wiIh me unIi| ycur
Lcyfrienc crrive:, l|| exp|cin Ihe IhumL ring crigin Ic ycu.
8|cnce: Nc, IhcI: fine. lI wcu|cnI Le cpprcpricIe.
/|phc Mcn: Ycu kncw, ycure righI l gcI :c ccmfcrIcL|e, l |eI my gucrc
ccwn cnc c|mc:I |eI c IcIc| :Ircnger :iI wiIh me cI my IcL|e.
8|cnce: We||.lm ncI c IcIc| :Ircnger, ycu kncw my ncme.
/|phc Mcn: {in c jcking crcmcIic Icne) Hmm, hcw cc l kncw IhcI wc:nI
:cme fc|:e ncme given, Ic re|cx my :u:picicn: :c ycu ccu|c :neck c :ecI
cI my IcL|e. Ycu cccl Ycu :ccuncre|l <~~{humcr)
8|cnce: {|cughing) 8uI ycu inviIec me.
/|phc Mcn: Ch, we|| in IhcI cc:e, |eI: gc. <~~{:cic in c :ericu: Icne, ncI
humcr)
{l Icck her hcnc cnc :he jcinec me cI my IcL|e unIi| her Lcyfrienc
:hcwec up. )

NcIice IhcI cfIer l mcce Ihe funny ccmmenI cLcuI :ervice: rencerec",
cnc :he rep|iec wiIh :cmeIhing funny, l cic ncI ccnIinue Ihe humcr. l wenI
righI inIc :cmeIhing cifferenI. Ihe humcr gcI her cIIenIicn cnc gcI her
Ic|king, which i: c|| l wcnIec. Ihen Ihe nexI funny Ihing l :cic, wc: c :ericu:
:cuncing ccmmenI wiIh c funny chcice cf wcrc: {ki||er ncpkin).
Ihen whi|e fir:I ccmp|imenIing her ring, l injecIec c :|ighI|y funny ccmmenI
{ncI c ccrnivc| ring). Ihen l cn|y ccIec cuIrcgecu:|y funny cI Ihe enc,
when l c|reccy knew l ccu|c geI her Ic my IcL|e, cnc ju:I neecec Ic geI
her |cughing :c :he wcu|c ncI re:i:I.

/: cn /|phc, ycur primcry per:cnc|iIy i: cne cf ccnficence cnc inf|uence.
Ihink cf Ihem c: Ihe Iwc piece: cf c fine lIc|icn :uiI. U:ing Ihi: meIcphcr,
humcr wcu|c Le Ihe :IiIching IhcI i: hc|cing Ihem IcgeIher. Humcr i:
inIerwcven Ihrcugh Ihe ccnficence cnc Ihe inf|uence. 8uI, ju:I |ike c fine
lIc|icn :uiI hc: Ic hcve Ihe righI kinc cf :IiIching, in crcer Ic Le Iru|y
impre::ive, :c Icc mu:I ycu hcve Ihe righI kinc cf humcr. 8eccu:e wiIhcuI
Ihe righI humcr {Ihe :IiIching) ycur ccnficence cnc inf|uence {Ihe :uiI) wi||
ncI Le c: cIIrccIive Ic pecp|e.
Ckcy, :c whcI i: Ihe righI kinc" cf humcr WhcI i: my icec cf /|phc
Humcr"
Fcr :IcrIer:, ycu hcve Ic c|reccy hcve c :en:e cf humcr. l ccnI mcke ycu
funny. Sc if ycure ncI :cmecne whc ever Ie||: c jcke, cr cce:nI geI Ihe
humcr in mc:I jcke: IhcI ycu hecr, Ihen ccnI fcrce iI. Humcr lS impcrIcnI,
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110


LuI iI: mcre impcrIcnI IhcI ycu Le FE/L. lf ycure ju:I ncI c funny per:cn,
Ihen l :Ircng|y cnc high|y :ugge:I IhcI ycu renI c Lunch cf :Icnc up
ccmecicn vicec: cr DVD:. Finc c :Icnc up ccmecicn, cr Iwc cr Ihree,
IhcI ycu Ihink fiI: YCUF per:cnc|iIy {8y tne wcy. ycu ncve ceen cc|ng tne
8u||c|ng cn A|pnc Fe|:cnc||ty exe|c|:e:. |||||gnt} Ihen pcy cIIenIicn Ic
hcw Ihe ccmecicn ge:Iure:, hcw Ihey S/Y Ihe wcrc: IhcI mcke Ihe
cucience |cugh, hcw Ihey pcu:e. DC NCI Lcrrcw Ihe ccmecicn:
mcIerie| cnc preIenc IhcI iI: ycur: Ihcugh. Ycu wcnI Ic mcIch Ihe :Iy|e,
Ihe Iechniue, ncI :Iec| Ihe gccc:.
Ihen :imp|y prccIice Ihi: humcrcu: :ice cf ycur per:cnc|iIy unIi| ycu finc iI
f|cwing ncIurc||y cnc geIIing pecp|e Ic |cugh.

Ch, cnc whi|e l view ccmecicn FcLin Wi||icm: c: cn /|phc, l wcu|cnI
:ugge:I Lcrrcwing hi: ce|ivery :Iy|e. He hc: c very uniue :Iy|e, :c
cccpIing iI i: |ike|y Ic re:u|I in pecp|e :imp|y Ihinking ycure Irying Ic ccI
|ike FcLin Wi||icm:l {H|nt. Fc|t c| ce|ng cn e||ect|ve A|pnc |: nct t|y|ng tc
ce :cnecne e|:e)

lf, hcwever, ycu were c ccmp|eIe c|cwn c::, Ihen cI |ec:I ycu hcve Ihe
inIere:I cnc cLi|iIy Ic Leing funny, cnc ju:I neec :cme guiccnce cn hcw
Ic cc iI Ihe /|phc wcy.

Fcr :IcrIer:, Ihe righI kinc cf humcr, /|phc humcr, hc: Ic ju:I ncIurc||y f|cw
frcm ycur mcuIh. lI ccn ncI Le fcrcec, ncr |cck |ike cn cIIempI Ic Le
funny. lI ju:I hc: Ic ccme cuI. /nc Ihe mc:I effecIive wcy i: Ic hcve iI
ccme cuI in c wcy IhcI :eem: :pcnIcnecu:, cnc ccn hcve :cme :crcc:m
Ic iI, cnc :hcu|c mc:I Iime: Le :|ighI|y cff frcm whcI :cmecne mighI hcve
expecIec.
Here i: cncIher rec|-|ife excmp|e Ic cemcn:IrcIe my pcinI. lI wc: c
ccnver:cIicn l hcc wiIh c |ccyfrienc cne evening.

ME: Ihe :ecreI Ic |c:Iing :ecucIicn, i: crecIive rcmcnce, in my cpinicn.
SHE {curicu:): CrecIive, huh Hcw wcu|c YCU Le rcmcnIic in c crecIive
wcy
ME: We||, fir:I {mcce my vcice :cfIer...:|cwer) l wcu|c Icke her hcnc, cnc
|eI u: fee| Ihe wcrmIh IhcI: Leing given Ic ecch cIher frcm Ihi: ccnIccI.
Ihen, l wi|| |cck ceep|y inIc her eye:, :ccking in her gcze. /nc Ihen, very
:|cw|y, l wcu|c recch in Icwcrc her...cnc hiI her in Ihe hecc wiIh c Lrick.
SHE {|cck cf ccnfu:icn, Ihen :he |cughec): IhcI: Iwi:Iecl

Ihe impcrIcnI Ihing Ic kncw here, i: IhcI Ihe punch|ine" wc: :cic wiIh Ihe
:cme :cfIne:: cnc :en:uc|iIy c: Ihe cIher Ihing: IhcI l :cic. /: if l ccIuc||y
fcunc iI c: rcmcnIic c: Ihe cIher Ihing: l hcc :cic. 8y :cying iI |ike IhcI, Ihe
SCUND cf Ihe wcrc: wc: :en:uc|, LuI Ihe wcrc: Ihem:e|ve: were ncI,
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111


which mcce iI funny. lI: |ike when c per:cn :cy:, lm exIreme|y hcppy
Icccy" LuI Ihey :cy iI in c ye||ing cnc cngry Icne. Ihey ccnf|icI wiIh ecch
cIher, cnc IhcI ccn Le very funny.
lI c|:c mcce iI funny, Leccu:e iI ccme cuI cf Ihe L|ue. l :IcrIec cff wiIh
Ihing: IhcI :cuncec rcmcnIic, cnc encec wiIh :cmeIhing preIIy fcr frcm
rcmcnIic.
/|:c, l cicnI |cugh c: l :cic iI, ncr even cfIer SHE :IcrIec |cughing.
l :imp|y :mi|ec. IhcI cccec :cme /|phc pcwer Ic iI, Leccu:e iI hc: Ihe
e|emenI cf p|cyfu| crrcgcnce Ic iI.
When :cmecne :cy: :cmeIhing funny, LuI cce:nI |cugh cfIerwcrc:, cr
ju:I give: c :|ighI :mi|e, iI ju:I mcke: iI even funnier. Why Whc ccre:, ju:I
geI inIc Ihe hcLiI cf ccing iIl
/ grecI excmp|e cf Ihi:, i: ccmecicn Wi|| Fcrre||. WhcI mcke: him :c funny,
in my cpinicn, i: IhcI hi: ce|ivery :Iy|e i: Ic :cy Ihe funnie:I :Iuff in c :ericu:
Icne, cnc Ic ncI :mi|e cr |cugh cfIer :cying iI.

Ihere /FE Iime: when iI: perfecI|y fine Ic |cugh c|cng wiIh :cmecne.
Like when cne cf ycu i: :hcring c funny cr emLcrrc::ing :Icry, cr when Ihe
CIHEF per:cn :cy: :cmeIhing IhcI ycu fcunc genuine|y funny.
{| :c|c genu|ne|y ceccu:e | cn ccnp|ete|y cgc|n:t p|etenc|ng
:cnetn|ng |: |unny u:t tc p|ec:e pecp|e.}
LcughIer i: gccc, cnc :hcu|c Le expre::ec when ycu fee| iI. l kncw cf
mcny pecp|e whc, fcr whcIever rec:cn:, :imp|y ccnI |cugh c|cng wiIh
cIher pecp|e. Ycu ccn Ie|| c :Icry cr c jcke IhcI i: hi|cricu:, LuI Ihe mc:I
ycu|| geI cuI cf Ihem i: c weck :mi|e. /nc IhcI i: :cc, in my per:cnc|
cpinicn. lI: :cc, Leccu:e iI Ie||: me IhcI Ihey cre eiIher uncL|e Ic
cpprecicIe Ihe humcr in Ihing:, cr Ihey Ihink |cughing i: c weckne::.
lf c per:cn i: :imp|y uncL|e Ic :ee Ihe humcr in Ihing:, Ihere: ncI much l
ccn :cy Ic Ihem, Leccu:e :hcwing :cmecne Ihe humcr in Ihing: i: hcrcer
Ihcn mcking :cmecne humcrcu:.
/ per:cn whc :ee: |cughIer c: c weckne::, fci|: Ic fu||y cpprecicIe Ihe
pcwer iI ccnIcin:. Fre:icenI: cnc ru|er: cf ccunIrie: cre uiIe cfIen :een
|cughing IcgeIher, :c cLvicu:|y pecp|e cf :uch pcwer cre ncI weck,
righI When /mericcn pc|iIicicn: cre :pecking Ic pecp|e c: Ihey
ccmpcign, Ihey wi|| injecI :cme humcr in Iheir :peeche:. Ihi: hc: Ihe
pcwer cf Lui|cing rcppcrI, cnc give: |i:Iener: c fee|ing cf cpprccchcLi|iIy
Icwcrc Ihe pc|iIicicn. /nc cfIen Iime: Ihe pc|iIicicn i: ncI very :ki||ec cI
humcr, LuI Leccu:e cf Ihe :ericu:ne:: cf pc|iIic:, iI give: c kinc cf re|ec:e
cf Ien:icn, fcr LcIh Ihe ccnciccIe cnc Ihe |i:Iener.
Ihe key, i: Ic Lc|cnce ycur humcr wiIh ycur mcmenI: cf :ericu:ne::. Ihere
cre Iime: when iI i: cpprcpricIe Ic Le funny, cnc Iime: when iI i: ncI. Ihi: i:
:cmeIhing lm :ure ycu c|reccy kncw. YeI Icc cfIen ycu mighI Le
fcrgeIIing Ihi:, cue Ic wcnIing Ic impre:: :cmecne, cr cuI cf nervcu:ne::.
lI: ccmmcn Ic Iry cnc Lreck Ien:icn wiIh :cme humcr, cr Ic Iry cnc mcke
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:cmecne fee| gccc Ly mcking c jcke. 8cIh cf which cre fine :cmeIime:,
ju:I ncI /LL Ihe Iime.
Ihe key, IhcI l hcve |ecrnec, i: Ic mcke ycur humcr c: unexpecIec c:
pc::iL|e. Mecning, geI in Ihe hcLiI cf injecIing humcr in p|cce: pecp|e
cre ncI expecIing iI. NCI /I / FUNEF/L IHCUGHl When l :cy p|cce:" l
cm Ic|king cLcuI p|cce: in Ihe ccnver:cIicn, ncI |cccIicn:. Fcr excmp|e, if
ycuve Leen Ic|king wiIh :cmecne fcr c|mc:I cn hcur cn c :ericu: :uLjecI,
c :uccen ccmmenI |ike u:ing c|| Ihe:e Lig wcrc: i: mcking my hecc
hurI" ccn imprcve Ihe enccunIer LeIIer Ihcn ycu mighI Ihink.
lf Ihey ccnI |cugh, :c whcI /: |cng c: ycu cre ncI Leing in:en:iIive
Icwcrc Ihe :uLjecI, ncr cemecning Ic Ihe per:cn, Ihere i: ncIhing wrcng
cnc ncIhing |c:I :cying :cmeIhing humcrcu:.
/nc c: |cng c: ycure ncI Irying Ic mcke every cIher Ihing ycu :cy inIc c
jcke, ycu|| prcLcL|y cc fine.
l hcve fcunc IhcI when Ic|king wiIh very :ericu: pecp|e, humcr i: :Ii||
effecIive, even when Ihey ccnI |cugh, cr ccnI vi:iL|e :eem Ic geI Ihe
humcr. ln IHCSE cc:e:, Ihe wcr:I Ihing ycu ccn cc i: cppecr
unccmfcrIcL|e cr cpc|cgeIic. Sc NEVEF |eI Iheir |cck cf |cughIer ccu:e
ycu Ic :cy :crry" ncr |eI iI mcke ycu Ihink Crcp, IhcI LcmLec." Ihi: ccn
Le hcrc Ic cc cI fir:I, Leccu:e iI lS unccmfcrIcL|e Ic Ihink ycure ncI in
rcppcrI wiIh :cmecne ycu were ju:I humcrcu: wiIh. 8uI ycu neec Ic |ecn
IhcI Ihe pcinI cf humcr i: ncI c|wcy: Ic mcke :cmecne |cugh, LuI i:
in:Iecc Ic injecI c p|cyfu| pcrI cf ycur per:cnc|iIy. Ycure ncI re:pcn:iL|e
fcr mcking pecp|e |cugh, :c ccnI re|y cn iI.



















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113


Ihe Mog|c o| Mus|c

/fIer :i|ence, IhcI which ccme: necre:I Ic expre::ing Ihe
inexpre::iL|e i: mu:ic."
~ /|ccu: Hux|ey




Ihe Ihing IhcI l finc cmczing cLcuI mu:ic i:, whi|e Ihere cre cn|y 8 ncIe: in
c :cc|e, Ihere i: cn un|imiIec vcricIicn IhcI ccn Le crecIec, Ic :Iir c
vcrieIy cf cifferenI emcIicn:.

Ihink cLcuI iI fcr c minuIe.

Ihink cLcuI c :cng IhcI mcke: ycu mcyLe c |iII|e weepy, cr ju:I c |iII|e
:cc. Gc checc, Ihink cLcuI c :cng |ike IhcI, cnc |eI iI p|cy in:ice ycur
minc righI ncw.

Icke cLcuI 20 :eccnc: cr :c Ic ccIuc||y fee| IhcI.

Ncw, Ihink cLcuI c :cng IhcI pump: ycu up, cne IhcI empcwer: ycu, cr
geI: ycu exciIec, cr cI |ec:I fee|: gccc. LeI IH/I :cng p|cy in:ice ycur
minc righI ncw.

Gc checc, cc iI fcr cLcuI 20 :eccnc: cr :c.

Nc mcIIer which Iwc cifferenI :cng: ycu hecrc" Ihey LcIh cre Lc:ec cn
Ihe :cme 8 ncIe :cc|e.

Ycu mighI Le c:king righI ncw, Yecn. :c Wnct cce: cny c| tnct ncve tc
cc w|tn un|ec:n|ng ny |nne| A|pnc
We||, if :uch c :imp|e :cc|e ccn ccu:e :uch c vc:I|y cifferenI :eI cf
emcIicn:, ycu neec Ic Le cwcre cf IhcI. Ycu neec Ic rec|ize IhcI Ihe
pcwer cf mu:ic i: cne which ycu mighI wcnI Ic u:e Ic ycur ccvcnIcge.

Hcw cce: IhcI cpp|y Ic un|ec:hing ycur /|phc Here: c hypcIheIicc|
:iIucIicn Ic he|p exp|cin iI.

Hen|y nc: cpp||ec |c| c pc:|t|cn ct :cne c|g w|g cc|pc|ct|cn. A: ne :|t: |n
tne |cccy. cwc|t|ng n|: ncne tc ce cc||ec :c tnct /|. 8|gcnee:e w||| :ee
ycu ncw Hen|y |: ne|vcu:. He :tc|t: ncv|ng ce|tc|n tncugnt: |n n|: necc.
||ke. | ncpe | ccn't :c|ew tn|: up. Sncu|c | c||e| tne ncnc:ncke. c| |et
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n|n c||e| |t |||:t | nu:t |enence| tc te|| n|n cccut ncw nucn ncney |
ncce |c| ny |c:t enp|cye|. | wcnce| wnct que:t|cn: ne'|| c:k ne |
ncpe ny eye-tw|tcn :tcp: ce|c|e tne |nte|v|ew. cnc :c cn. cnc cn.

8c:ec cn IhcI, hcw empcwerec i: Henry NcI very, Lc:ec cn Ihe
cic|cgue he: hcving in hi: hecc.
8uI whcI if...
WhcI if, :ince Henry i: c|reccy hecring IhcughI: in hi: hecc cnywcy, he |eI
c nice empcwering :cng echc Ihrcugh iI in:Iecc
lmcgine IhcIl
Hcw much mcre ccmfcrIcL|e cnc ccnficenI wi|| he |cck if he hc:, |eI:
:cy, Ihe Fcicer: cf Ihe Lc:I /rk" Iheme p|cying in hi: hecc righI ncw
Cr mcyLe even MczcrI: / LiII|e NighI Mu:ic" cr cny cIher :cng IhcI,
when Henry hecr: iI, he fee|: exciIec, cr pumpec, cr in:pirec.

/: l ccverec in Ihe chcpIer, Ihe A|pho M|nd Vo|ce," when in :iIucIicn:
IhcI we cre uncerIcin cf, IhcI we cre nervcu: cLcuI, we Ienc Ic Ic|k"
in:ice cur cwn hecc. We imcgine pc::iL|e cuIccme:, we hecr Ihing: IhcI
we hcpe ccnI rec||y geI :cic, we c:k cur:e|ve: c|| kinc: cf ue:Iicn:. /nc
Lc:ec cn Ihe pc:iIive cr negcIive emcIicn: we cre fee|ing c: we cc Ihi:, iI
enc: up :hcwing in cur phy:ic|cgy, cur vcice, cnc cur cverc|| energyl
/nc ju:I c: IH/I chcpIer ccverec hcw Ic LeIIer Ic|k" Ic ycur:e|f, Ihi:
chcpIer ccc: Ic IhcI Ly :ugge:Iing ycu ceve|cp cerIcin :cng Ic p|cy" Ic
ycur:e|f.

Mcking :en:e ncw

8uI Lefcre ycu ccn :kip Ic Ihe nexI chcpIer, Ihinking ycu hcve Ihe fu||
uncer:Icncing cf whcI lm Iecching ycu here, Ihere: mcrel
Ju:I p|cying c :cng in ycur hecc i: ncI encugh. Nc, ncpe, ncI yeI.

Ic mcximize Ihe pcwer cf mu:ic in Ihi: wcy, cccing Ic Ihe pcwer cf Ihe
/|phc ycu cre un|ec:hing, ycu neec Ic hcve c :y:Iem.

Nc, lm NCI Ic|king cLcuI :urgicc||y imp|cnIing c :Ierec :y:Iem in:ice ycur
hecc. 8uI c|c:el
WhcI l /M Ic|king cLcuI, i: ce:igning c :erie: cf :cng:, c grcup cf :cng:
IhcI ecch Lring cuI c :pecific emcIicn in:ice cf ycu, cnc p|ccing Ihem in
c menIc| Lccm Lcx" IhcI were gcing Ic crecIe. /nc :ince l crecIec iI, l
gcve iI c ncmel l cc|| iI EMOSIC {Im) {Frcncuncec eMCzik) Leccu:e iI i:
emoIicn mus|c.
Scunc: |ike c fungu:, l kncw, LuI Ihen IhcI mecn: iI wi|| grcw cn ycu.
(Sncke: necc ct :e||. ccn't ce||eve ne :c|c :ucn c tn|ng}

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115


Sc |eI: geI :IcrIecl

Ihi: i: |ike|y Ihe CNLY Iime l cm gcing Ic hc|c ycur hcnc cnc wc|k ycu
Ihrcugh every |iII|e :Iep. /nc Ihe cn|y rec:cn l cm gcing Ic cc IhcI, i:
Leccu:e l fee| iI wi|| Le cne cf Ihe mc:I u:efu| Icc|: fcr ycur /|phc |ife.

SIEF ONE: Se|ect|ons

Ihe fir:I :Iep Ic in:Ic||ing ycur per:cnc| Emc:ic, i: Ic Icke :cme Iime Ic
cecice which :cng: Lring cLcuI Ihe :Ircnge:I cf Ihe incivicuc| emcIicn:.
/nc lm Ic|king cLcuI /LL Ihe emcIicn: ycu ccn Ihink cf. Hcppy, Scc,
/ngry, EnIhu:ec, Sen:uc|, Fe|cxec, Energizec, c|| cf Iheml /fIer c||, ycu
cre gcing Ic Le fee|ing Ihe:e emcIicn: cI :cme pcinI cnywcy, :c why ncI
mcke Ihem wcrk FCF ycu, cnc WHEN ycu mc:I wcnI Ihem, in:Iecc cf
Ihem ju:I :hcwing up |ike c pu:hy re|cIive whc crcp: Ly uncnncuncec
when ycu're :iIIing cn Ihe Ici|eI

8uI Lefcre we geI Ic Ihe mecI cf :e|ecIicn:" lm gcing Ic Icuch cn why
ycu wcnI :e|ecIicn: fcr /LL ycur emcIicn:.

Ycu mighI Le wcncering why ycu wcu|c wcnI Ic in:Ic|| cny :cc :cng: inIc
ycur per:cnc| Emc:ic. Exce||enI ue:Iicn, cnc here: Ihe cn:werl
/: l :IcIec in Ihe |c:I chcpIer "Ihe /|phc EmcIicn:" c|| cf cur emcIicn: cre
u:efu|, cnc :erve c purpc:e, cnc cn /|phc |ecrn: Ic receive" Ihe
me::cge IhcI Ihe negcIive" emcIicn: cre Irying Ic :enc Ic u:. Sc Ly
purpc:efu||y Icpping inIc Ihe emcIicn: ycu fee| when |i:Iening Ic c :cc
:cng, ycu hcve Ihe ccnIrc| cver iI. Ycu hcve Ihe ccnIrc|, Leccu:e ycu
cre chcc:ing Ic Lring IhcI emcIicn Ic c :iIucIicn IhcI ycu fee| wcrrcnI: iI.

Hun

Ihink cLcuI iIl WhcI grecIer wcy Ic humL|e ycur:e|f Ihcn Ic mcke ycur:e|f
cry, cr cI |ec:I :cc ln cur mcmenI: cf :ccne::, we ref|ecI cn Ihe Ihing:
IhcI we regreI, Ihe Ihing: we wi:h we hcc ccne LeIIer cr mcre cf, Ihe
Ihing: we :crewec up" cnc ncw :ee Ihe LeIIer wcy Ic hcve hcnc|ec iI
:c c: ncI Ic :crew iI up cgcin. /nc in Ihc:e mcmenI: ycu cre Ihe mc:I
hcne:I wiIh ycur:e|f, cLcuI ycur:e|f, cnc Iherefcre hcve c LeIIer mcp" cf
whcI neec: imprcvemenI, whcI neec: ccju:Iing, cnc whcI neec:
chcnging.

Sc wny |: HA :c vc|ucc|e

lI: vc|ucL|e Leccu:e cLcve c|| cIher emcIicn:, :ccne:: i: when ycu cre
mc:I vu|nercL|e. /nc Leing in ccnIrc| cf IhcI vu|nercLi|iIy, c||cw: ycu Ic
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116


c|:c hcve ccnIrc| cver p|ctect|ng ycur vu|nercLi|iIy. 8uI mcre impcrIcnI|y,
Ly hcving ccnIrc| cver iI, ycu ccn LeIIer u:e Ihe energy cf iI.
Simp|y puI, when ycu ccn hcve :IrengIh curing ycur vu|nercL|e Iime:, ycu
ccc mcre pcwer Ic ycur cverc|| ccy Ic ccy |ife. /nc IhcI permiI: ycur:e|f
Ic Ihink mcre rcIicnc||y, which ncrmc||y we cre NCI cL|e Ic cc when :cc.
When :cc, we mighI fee| cverwhe|m, c |c:: cf ccnIrc|, he|p|e::ne::, cnc
:e|f cepreccIicn. /nc :uch Ihing: rcre|y, if ever, cre prccucIive. /fIer c||,
Ihe:e fee|ing: Ienc Ic ccmincIe ycur IhcughI: cnc fccu:, |ecving ycu
weck in Ihe crec cf prccucIiviIy.
Sc hcving pcwer, even whi|e vu|nercL|e, give: ycu Ihe cLi|iIy Ic funcIicn
mcre effecIive|y Ihcn ycu ncrmc||y cre cL|e Ic curing Ihe:e Iime:. Ycu
Leccme mcre effecIive, Leccu:e ycu hcve Ihe hcne:Iy cf ycur :ccne::,
ccup|ec wiIh Ihe pcwer cf rcIicnc|iIy, :c ycu ccn funcIicn in c wcy IhcI
re:u|I: in mcre prccucIive cuIccme:. Ihe emcIicn cf :ccne:: i: :encing
ycu c me::cge IhcI :cmeIhing i: hcppening IhcI ycu cc ncI wcnI. /nc
IhcI me::cge i: cnyIhing frcm regreI, Ic |c::, Ic ccnfu:icn, Ic fecr, Ic
ccmpc::icn. Sc Ly u:ing ycur Emc:ic Ic Icp inIc IhcI emcIicn, ycu wi||
Ircin ycur:e|f Ic Leccme :Ircnger curing ycur mc:I vu|nercL|e mcmenI:.
/nc Ly hcving IH/I, ycu wi|| SEE Ihe LenefiI: IhcI :ccne:: hc: cI IhcI
mcmenI. Ycu ccn hcve ccmpc::icn, wiIhcuI crcining ycur energy. Ycu
ccn fee| Ihe he|p|e::ne::, cnc Le rcIicnc| encugh Ic finc wcy: Ic
cverccme IhcI he|p|e::ne::. Ycu ccn fee| IhcI |c::, cnc reccgnize whcI
ycu neec Ic cpprecicIe mcre cf.
Mcke LeIIer :en:e ncw

Ihe :cme cpp|ie: Ic Ihe emcIicn cf cnger. When ycu geI cngry, IhcI Icc
ccn |ecc Ic Leing cuI cf ccnIrc|, even if iI': ju:I cI c :mc|| |eve|. When ycu
geI cngry, ycu Ienc Ic |c:e :cme |eve| cf rcIicnc|iIy.
8UI, Ly inIenIicnc||y Icpping inIc iI, e:pecic||y when ycu ccn cc :c wiIhcuI
geIIing ycur:e|f inIc c :iIucIicn IhcI mighI Le cc:I|y {L|ke tcpp|ng |ntc |t
wnen ycu'|e :|tt|ng ct ncne c|cne. :c tne|e': nc cne tc ye|| ct c| c|gue
w|tn) ycu ccn Ircin ycur:e|f Ic mcinIcin ccnIrc| whi|e fee|ing cnger.
8y mcinIcining ccnIrc| cI Ihe:e Iime:, ycu ccn finc LeIIer u:e cf IhcI
energy Ic |ecc Ic mcre prccucIive cuIccme:. 8eIIer u:e IhcI ccme: frcm
hcving c :Ircnger fccu: Ihcn ycu ncrmc||y hcve, which ycu ccn u:e Ihe
pcwer cf Ic mcve ycur:e|f Icwcrc c rewcrcing cuIccme.

Fcr excmp|e: lf ycu ncrmc||y geI very cngry when :cmecne i: |cng
wincec cnc Icke: fcrever Ic geI Ic Ihe pcinI, ycu ccn u:e Ihe pcwer cf
IhcI cnger energy Ic Le mcre c::erIive in hcw ycu hcnc|e iI, whi|e :Ii||
Leing rcIicnc|. FcIicnc| c: in, | tn|nk | kncw wnct ycu'|e :cy|ng. cut |
neec tc kncw ycu| pc|nt ce|c|e | ccn ce :u|e. ver:u:, W||| ycu get tc tne
pc|nt c||eccy| NcI Ic menIicn, Ihe cLi|iIy Ic mcinIcin rcIicnc| IhcughI
curing cnger, i: :c unccmmcn, IhcI pecp|e wi|| |iIerc||y fee| ccmpe||ec Ic
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117


cccpercIe Ihe wcy IhcI ycu prefer Ihem Ic. (F|cv|cec ycu c|e nct tc|k|ng
tc tnen |n c wcy tnct :cunc: ccnce:cenc|ng. c| :cunc: ||ke ycu'|e nct
tck|ng tnen :e||cu:|y} lm ncI Ic|king cLcuI cppecring cc|m cnc
cc||ecIec in ycur inIerccIicn wiIh Ihem {tncugn tnct ce|tc|n|y w||| ne|pl),
LuI in:Iecc, in ycur cLi|iIy Ic cemcn:IrcIe |cgicc| cnc rcIicnc| IhcughI:
cnc :ugge:Iicn: in Ihe pre:ence cf cnger. Ihi: i: Ly NC mecn: :cying ycu
:hcu|c never :hcw cnger, Ihere cre Iime: when ci:p|cying c |eve| cf
cnger/ci::cIi:fccIicn i: ccIuc||y mcre effecIive. ln:Iecc, iI mecn: ycu
:hcu|c Le c: rcIicnc| whi|e in Ihe pre:ence cf cnger c: pc::iL|e. U:ing
Emc:ic wi|| cc IhcI.

Hcpefu||y ycu cre :eeing c pcIIern here. Ihe mu:ic Lring: up Ihe emcIicn,
ycu cre Lringing up Ihe emcIicn cn purpc:e, which ccu:e: ycu Ic Ircin
ycur:e|f Ic Le mcre rcIicnc|/fccu:ec whi|e hcving Ihe emcIicn, which
re:u|I: in u:ing Ihe energy cf IhcI emcIicn Icwcrc c mcre u:efu|
cuIccme/re:u|I.

Ckcy, ncw cn Ic Ihe :e|ecIicn prcce::l

When :e|ecIing which :cng: Ic p|cce in Ihe incivicuc| emcIicn ccIegcry,
iI wi|| :erve ycu Le:I if ycu :e|ecI :cng: IhcI ccu:e ycu Ic fee| Ihe emcIicn
Ihe :Ircnge:I. /fIer c||, whcI gccc i: :e|ecIing, fcr excmp|e, cn
enIhu:ic:Iic" :cng IhcI uick|y fcce: cnce Ihe :cng enc: Ihi: i: ncI Ic
:cy Ihe :cng: :hcu|c mcke ycu fee| unccnIrc||cL|y emcIicnc|. Ju:I mcke
Ihem :cng: IhcI Lring cLcuI c :Ircng |eve| cf Ihe incivicuc| emcIicn.

Sc Ic :IcrI, Ihink cf Ihree :cng: IhcI mcke ycu fee| c :Ircng |eve| cf whcI
YCU ccn:icer Empcwering." Ihi: mecn: IhcI iI i: ncI impcrIcnI Ic finc
:cng: CIHEF pecp|e wcu|c ccn:icer empcwering" :ince iI: YCUF
emcIicn:, cnc cn|y YCU kncw whcI :cng: mcke ycu fee| empcwerec."

Ihink cf Ihree Empcwering" :cng: righI ncw.

- - -

Ckcy, ncw were gcing Ic hcve :cme fun wiIh Ihe Ihree :cng: ycu
:e|ecIec.
F|cy cLcuI 10 :eccnc: cf ecch :cng in ycur hecc righI ncw (|| ycu ncve
tne :cng cvc||cc|e tc p|cy cn c CD c| cn ycu| ccnpute|. tnct': even
cette||}
/fIer ycuve p|cyec Ihem, :e|ecI which :cng ccu:e: ycu Ic fee| Ihe mc:I
empcwerec." lf Iwc cf Ihem cre c|c:e in pcwer fcr IhcI emcIicn, pick
which cne ycuc mc:I regreI never hecring cgcin.
Cnce ycu hcve ycur mc:I pcwerfu| EmpcwermenI" :cng, :e|ecI which cf
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118


Ihe remcining Iwc i: Ihe :eccnc mc:I pcwerfu|, cnc Ihen cf ccur:e Ihe
Ihirc cne.

GcI IhcI ccne
GrecIl Ncw IhcI ycu hcve Ihe Ihree empcwering" :cng: :crIec, iI: Iime
Ic in:Ic|| Ihem inIc ycur Emc:ic.

SIEF IWO: Inst|||ot|on

MenIc||y :eI c:ice Ihe Ihree :cng: ycu chc:e, we|| ccme Lcck Ic Ihem
:hcrI|y.

FighI ncw were gcing Ic in:Ic|| Ihe Emc:ic p|cyer" in:ice ycur Lrcin.
SIcrI Ly imcgining Ihe mc:I cmczing |ccking :cunc :y:Iem ycu pc::iL|y
ccn. See whcI Ihe :pecker: |cck |ike, cnc hcw mcny :pecker: Ihere cre.
WhcI cce: Ihe p|cyer iI:e|f |cck: |ike WhcI LuIIcn: cre cn iI, cnc whcI cc
Ihc:e |cck |ike lmcgine every |iII|e ceIci| IhcI ycu pc::iL|y ccn.
Icke c minuIe Ic cc IhcI.

- - -

Ihe grecI Ihing cLcuI ycur Emc:ic p|cyer, i: IhcI Ihere cre nc wire: cnc
ccrc: Ic wcrry cLcuI. lI: wirec Ic ycur Lrcin, :c iI: gcing Ic remcin in:ice
ycu.

Ncw IhcI ycu kncw whcI ycur Emc:ic euipmenI |cck: |ike, |eI: geI inIc c
:pecific ceIci|: CcIegcrie:.
lmcgine IhcI Ihere cre LuIIcn: cn Ihe Emc:ic p|cyer, ecch LuIIcn mecnI
fcr c :pecific emcIicn. 8e|cw ecch LuIIcn i: c :|cI fcr c CD Ic fiI inIc.
Since ycu c|reccy hcve ycur EmpcwermenI" :cng:, |eI: mcke iI Ihe
ncme cf Ihe fir:I LuIIcn. lf ycu prefer c cifferenI wcrc Ihcn
EmpcwermenI" fee| free Ic chcnge iI Ic IhcI {n|: cpp||e: tc c|| tne
cuttcn:. ycu ccn e|tne| u:e tne ncne: | :ugge:t. c| ccne up w|tn ycu|
cwn).
Ihe nexI LuIIcn, |eI: cc|| Sen:uc|." Ihe nexI LuIIcn, cc|| iI F|cyfu|." Ihe
nexI LuIIcn, cc|| iI Fe|cxcIicn." Ihe nexI LuIIcn, cc|| iI lrriIcIicn." Ihe nexI
LuIIcn, cc|| iI Fru:IrcIicn." Ihe nexI LuIIcn, cc|| iI Sccne::." Ihe nexI
LuIIcn, cc|| iI S|eep" {/ecn|ng. :cng: tnct ycu wcu|c ||ke tc nec| c:
ycu :|eep).
IhcI :hcu|c ccver Ihe ccmmcn emcIicn: cnc fee|ing:.

Ncw, cecice where ycu wcnI Ihe :pecker: Ic gc. Dc ycu wcnI Ihem Ic
Le cn ycur :hcu|cer: McyLe puI Ihem righI Lehinc ycur ecr: ln:ice ycur
ecr: Ihink cLcuI where ycu wcnI Ihem Ic gc, Ihen imcgine IhcI Ihey
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119


ec:i|y fiI Ihere, cnc even ccju:I in :ize Ic ccmfcrIcL|y fiI.

- - -

Ncw were gcing Ic in:Ic|| ycur per:cnc| Emc:ic p|cyer. /nc were gcing
Ic p|cce iI wherever ycu fee| iI Le:I :hcu|c gc. Ycu mighI in:Ic|| iI in:ice
Ihe Lcck cf ycur hecc, cr in Ihe cenIer cf ycur che:I, cr mcyLe righI in Ihe
cenIer cf ycur Lrcin. Ihi: i: YCUF Emc:ic p|cyer, :c ycu ccn in:Ic|| iI
wherever ycu wcnI Ic. (Ye:. ycu ccn |n:tc|| |t up ycu| cutt. || tnct': ycu|
p|e|e|ence}

Ncw IhcI ycu hcve ycur Emc:ic p|cyer cnc :pecker: in:Ic||ec, c: we|| c:
Ihe fir:I 8 Emc:ic LuIIcn: |cLe|ec, we neec Ic Ie:I iI, Ic mcke :ure ycu
hcve everyIhing in:Ic||ec Ic ycur :cIi:fccIicn. 8uI fir:I we neec c Ie:I :cng.
Fcr :imp|i:Iic rec:cn:, |eI: Ie:I iI u:ing c :cng virIuc||y everycne kncw:, Ihe
Hcppy 8irIhccy :cng (Ycu kncw. Hcppy 8||tnccy tc ycu. Hcppy 8||tnccy
cec| _______. Hcppy 8||tnccy tc ycccccccu.}
FreIenc c CD cf IhcI :cng hc: :|ic righI inIc ycur Emc:ic p|cyer, cnc
menIc||y c|cck p|cy."
Icke c few :eccnc: Ic hecr IhcI :cng p|cying.

- - -

/cju:I Ihe vc|ume :c IhcI iI p|cy: very :cfI|y, c|mc:I fcinI|y.
Ihen :|cw|y Lring Ihe vc|ume up higher...cnc Higher....cnc HlGHEF...unIi|
iI: L|c:Iing cI Ihe |cuce:I vc|ume |eve| ycu ccn mcke iI wiIhcuI ccu:ing
ycur ecr: Ic L|eec {Un|e:: c| ccu|:e c|eec|ng ec|: |: :cnetn|ng ycu ency).

Ncw Lring Ihe vc|ume ccwn Ic cLcuI Ihe micc|e cf ycur vc|ume |eve|.
Cnce ycu cc IhcI, imcgine hecring Ihe :cng cn|y in ycur |efI ecr...
Ihen :wiIch iI, :c IhcI ycu ccn cn|y hecr Ihe :cng in ycur righI ecr...

Ncw p|cy iI :c IhcI ycu cn|y hecr Ihe :cng Lehinc ycu, c: if iI were p|cying
Ly Ihe Lcck cf ycur hecc...
Ncw, imcgine Ihe :cng i: p|cying c|| Ihrcugh ycu, :c IhcI ycu ccn fee| iI:
viLrcIicn: Ihrcugh ycur enIire Lccy...

/ gccc :Icnccrc p|cce Ic keep ycur :pecker:" i: :cmep|cce crcunc cr
in:ice cf ycur ecr:. 8uI, c: ycu p|cy" ycur Emc:ic, ycu|| finc IhcI
pcrIicu|cr :cng: cre mc:I effecIive when Ihey ccme frcm Ihe :pecker:
Leing p|ccec in cifferenI :pcI:. Fcr excmp|e, mcny cf my
EmpcwermenI" :cng: cre mc:I effecIive when c :cng :cunc: |ike: iI:
ccming frcm c|| crcunc me. My Sen:uc|" :cng: cre cfIen mc:I effecIive
when l hecr" Ihem frcm my :c|cr p|exu: {nct': tne c|ec |n tne cente|.
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120


u:t ce|cw tne ||cccge).
Sc experimenI wiIh Ihem, cnc finc Ihe p|cce: YCU finc Ihem Ic Le mc:I
effecIive.

/|righI, ncw Ic in:Ic|| Ihe :cng:l
Ihi: pcrI i: very ec:y. /|| ycu hcve Ic cc, i: imcgine ecch :cng i: cn c CD,
cnc imcgine ecch CD :|icing inIc whichever cne cf Ihe 8 :|cI: IhcI Le:I fiI:
IhcI :cng. Cnce Ihe :cng hc: gcne inIc Ihe :|cI, imcgine iI hc: in:IcnI|y
ccwn|cccec inIc Ihe Emc:ic p|cyer, :c ycu ccn remcve IhcI CD cnc
in:Ic|| c: mcny cifferenI :cng: c: ycu wi:h fcr ecch ccIegcry.
Ihe grecI Ihing cLcuI Ihi: Leing YCUF Emc:ic p|cyer, i: IhcI Ihere i: nc
|imiI Ic Ihe numLer cf :cng: ycu ccn in:Ic||. Sc ycu ccn ccc new :cng:
cgcin cnc cgcin cnc cgcin, fcreverl

LeI: gc Lcck Ic Ihc:e 3 EmpcwermenI" :cng: ycu :e|ecIec.
Ycu chc:e c fcvcriIe, c nexI fcvcriIe, cnc Ihen c Ihirc fcvcriIe.
S|ic c CD cf IhcI fir:I :cng inIc ycur Emc:ic p|cyer, cnc imcgine hecring c
c|ick" c: Ihe :cng i: puI inIc p|cce. Dc Ihe :cme fcr Ihe :eccnc :cng,
cnc Ihen Ihe Ihirc.

- - -

Ncw IhcI ycu hcve Ihe fir:I Ihree cf ycur Emc:ic :cng: in:Ic||ec, ycure
c|reccy :IcrIec, cnc reccy Ic Ihink cf c|| Ihe :cng: ycu wcnI Ic in:Ic|| inIc
ecch cf Ihe fir:I 8 ccIegcrie:. Icke c: |cng c: ycu wi:h, cnc cc||ecI" c:
mcny :cng: c: ycu wcnI Ic in:Ic||. rememLer, Ihere i: nc |imiI, :c in:Ic|| Ic
ycur hecrI: ccnIenI.

Icke c: |cng c: ycu neec, Ic in:Ic|| :cng: inIc ycur Emc:ic p|cyer. l :ugge:I
cn|y hecring" ecch :cng ju:I |cng encugh Ic ceIermine IhcI ycu wcnI iI
in Ihe :pecific ccIegcry ycuve chc:en Ic p|cce iI in.
Cnce ycuve p|ccec :cme :cng: in ecch ccIegcry, ccnIinue Ic Ihe nexI
:Iep.

Step Ihree: bse |t

Ncw iI: Iime Ic prccIice u:ing ycur Emc:ic p|cyer.

Fick cny :cng, frcm Ihe Fe|cxcIicn" ccIegcry ycu crecIec, cnc imcgine
ycu hecr c c|ick" c: ycu menIc||y pre:: Ihe LuIIcn Ic |eI iI p|cy righI ncw.
Li:Ien Ic cLcuI c minuIe cf Ihe :cng.

- - -

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121


Hcw cic IhcI fee| Hcpefu||y re|cxec cn SCME |eve|.
l wcu|c :ugge:I ccing Ihi: fcr cI |ec:I cne :cng in ecch ccIegcry, ju:I Ic
geI in Ihe hcLiI cf hcw iI fee|: Ic u:e iI.


8CNUS C/IEGCFY

8efcre we mcve cn Ic Ihe nexI chcpIer, l wcnI Ic ccc c Ih ccIegcry.
Ihi: ccIegcry, l wcnI ycu cc|| iI, /|phcS|eep." Ihi: cne i: gcing Ic Le
cifferenI Ihcn Ihe S|eep" ccIegcry, in cne re:pecI. ln Ihi: ccIegcry,
ycure gcing Ic ccc whcI cre cc||ec cffirmcIicn:" Ic Ihe mu:ic.
ln Ihe evenI ycure unfcmi|icr wiIh cffirmcIicn:, here i: c :imp|e excmp|e:

"Every doy I om becom|ng more ond more the A|pho w|th|n myse||."

/ncIher cffirmcIicn wcu|c Le:

"My ob|||ty to och|eve my des|res grows stronger every doy."

Ycu ccn eiIher u:e Ihe cffirmcIicn: l prcvice, cr ccme up wiIh :cme cf
ycur cwn. l wcu|c :ugge:I c ccmLincIicn cf LcIh.
Ihe key Ic rememLer when crecIing cn cffirmcIicn, i: Ic u:e wcrc: ycur
minc wi|| cccepI. Fcr excmp|e, ycu wcu|cnI wcnI Ic hcve cn cffirmcIicn
|ike, My cLi|iIy Ic f|y |ike c Lirc grcw: :Ircnger every ccy" Leccu:e ycur
minc i: gcing Ic hecr IhcI cnc gc F|y Huncn: ccn't ||y. :c | |eect tnct."
Ycu wcnI Ic hcve cffirmcIicn: IhcI ycur minc ccn cccepI c: pc::iL|e. Fcr
excmp|e, iI: very pc::iL|e IhcI ycu ccu|c hcve c jcL mcking mcre
mcney, :c c gccc cffirmcIicn wcu|c Le /y cc|||ty tc ||nc c wcy c|
nck|ng nc|e cnc nc|e ncney |: g|cw|ng :t|cnge|" whi|e c Lcc
cffirmcIicn wcu|c Le My cLi|iIy Ic finc c wcy Ic mcke c Li||icn cc||cr:
cvernighI i: grcwing :Ircnger." {G|cntec. |t n|gnt :t||| wc|k. cut wny ce :c
:pec|||c c: tc :cy c 8||||cn || ycu cn|y ncke $00 n||||cn cve|n|gnt. tnen
ycu w||| ncve n|::ec ycu| gcc|. ||gnt}
/|:c when crecIing cffirmcIicn:, wcrc iI in c wcy IhcI :ugge:I: cngcing
imprcvemenI. Fcr excmp|e, Every ccy l..." cr Ecch ccy l..." cr l wi||
ccnIinue Ic..." cr Ihe mcre l..." cr ...Ihi: ccnIinue: Ic..."
Ycu geI iI
Ckcy, :c ncw lm gcing Ic :ugge:I :cme cffirmcIicn:. Ycu ccn u:e c:
mcny cr c: few c: ycu wi:h, LuI l wcu|c c|:c reccmmenc IhcI ycu ccme
up wiIh cI |ec:I c few cf ycur cwn. Why 8eccu:e when ycu crecIe
:cmeIhing, ycu cre mcre cIIcchec Ic iI, which wi|| Ienc Ic hc|c mcre
pcwer fcr ycu.
Here we gc...

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122


"Ihe port o| me thot |s the most mot|voted, cont|nues to |n||uence my
oct|ons |n o pos|t|ve woy more ond more."

"I om becom|ng more ond more con||dent |n my ob|||t|es every doy."

"Every doy, I om not|c|ng woys to |mprove my |||e, ond hove the ob|||ty to
moke them hoppen."

"I CAN become more thon I om todoy, ond w||| cont|nue to |mprove."

"Whotever |t tokes, I AM go|ng to ||ve o |u||||||ng |||e more ond more every
doy."

"bn|eosh|ng my A|pho, ond mok|ng |t stronger ond more power|u|, |s
hoppen|ng every s|ng|e doy."

"I om |mprov|ng, I om un|eosh|ng my A|pho, ond I om odd|ng more
quo||ty to my |||e, eoch ond every doy."

"Whotever I con dreom, I con moke reo|, ond w||| cont|nue to do so every
doy."


Ckcy, ncw ccme up wiIh c few cf ycur cwn, Ihen ccme Lcck.

- - -

lf ycu hcve ncI c|reccy ccne :c, l wcnI ycu Ic wriIe cuI c|| cf Ihe
cffirmcIicn: ycu chc:e Ic u:e.
Cnce ycuve ccne IhcI, ycu neec Ic chc:e cI |ec:I 2 :cng: frcm ycur
S|eep" ccIegcry Ic c|:c u:e.
/nc cnce IH/I i: ccne, we ccn Legin Ic in:Ic|| Ihem.

1) Fir:I :Iep, i: Ic p|cy" cne cf Ihe S|eep" :cng: righI ncw.

2) /: ycu cre hecring IhcI :cng, l wcnI ycu Ic :cy CUI LCUD ecch cf Ihe
cffirmcIicn:. Icke iI :|cw, Ihi: i:nI c rcce, :cy ecch cffirmcIicn :|cw|y,
cnc wiIh ccnficence in Ihe wcrc: ycu cre :cying.

3) /: ycu cre :cying ecch cffirmcIicn, imcgine IhcI Ihe wcrc:, in YCUF
vcice, cre Leing cccec Ic Ihe :cng ycu hecr p|cying. CcnIinue Ihi:
unIi| ycu hcve :pcken CUI LCUD every :ing|e cne cf Ihe cffirmcIicn:.

4) Ncw gc checc cnc p|cy Ihe :eccnc :cng, cnc cnce cgcin recc CUI
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LCUD Ihe cffirmcIicn: ycu chc:e, cnc cnce cgcin imcgine iI i: Leing
cccec Ic Ihe :cng ycu cre p|cying righI ncw.

5) Cnce LcIh :cng: hcve c|| Ihe cffirmcIicn: in Ihem, l wcnI ycu Ic
preIenc IhcI ycu p|ccec cne cf Ihc:e :cng: cI Ihe Leginning cf ycur
/|phcS|eep" p|cy |i:I, cnc in:IrucI ycur Emc:ic p|cyer Ic p|cce Ihe
:eccnc :cng furIher ccwn in Ihe p|cy |i:I, in c |cccIicn IhcI wi|| cn|y
p|cy iI when ycu cre ccIuc||y c:|eep.
(ne |ec:cn |c| tn|:. |: ceccu:e ycu wcnt ycu| c||||nct|cn: p|cy|ng cctn c:
ycu :tc|t tc :|eep. cnc nc|e |npc|tcnt|y. wn||e ycu ore :|eep|ng. :c ycu|
:ucccn:c|cu: n|nc nc: :cnetn|ng tc wc|k cn wn||e ycu'|e c|ecn|ng.}

/: i: Ihe cc:e wiIh Ihe :cng: in ycur Emc:ic p|cyer, ycu ccn ccc new
cffirmcIicn: c: cfIen cnc cn c: mcny cf Ihe ccIegcrie: c: ycu wi:h.
{Mecning, in ycur Fru:IrcIicn" ccIegcry, ycu ccu|c ccc /c|e cnc nc|e
eccn ccy | cn ||nc|ng wcy: tc u:e ny cnge| |n c ccn:t|uct|ve wcy" Ic
cne cf Ihe :cng:.)

F|cy crcunc wiIh ycur Emc:ic p|cyer, ccc Ihing: Ic iI, cnc |eI iI Leccme c
pcwerfu| Icc| fcr ycu, c: ycu ncI cn|y un|ec:h ycur /|phc, LuI c|:c c: ycu
wc|k Ihrcugh Ihe wcr|c /S Ihe /|phc ycu un|ec:h.






















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124


Ihe A|pho 8ehov|oro| Loop



Fccu:. CcnIrc|. F|exiLi|iIy.
Ihe:e Ihree inIerccnnecIing piece: cf Ihe /|phc minc i: whcI l cc|| Ihe
/|phc 8ehcvicrc| Lccp." /nc whi|e Ihere cre cerIcin|y mcny piece: IhcI
Lui|c ycu inIc c Irue /|phc, Ihe:e Ihree piece: cre Ihe mc:I impcrIcnI, in
regcrc Ic hcw Ihe /|phc inIerccI: wiIhin Ihe wcr|c. Fer:cnc||y l fee| IhcI
Fccu: ccme: fir:I, :c IhcI ycu ccn mcre ec:i|y :Icy in CcnIrc| cf ycur:e|f
cnc ycur re:u|I:. Ihen cnce ycu hcve Ihc:e Iwc wcrking, iI mcke: iI ec:ier
fcr ycu Ic hcve Ihe righI kinc cf F|exiLi|iIy when Ihing: neec Ic Le hcnc|ec
cifferenI|y. YeI cI Ihe :cme Iime, c|| Ihree inIerccnnecI cnc enhcnce
ecch cIher. Whi|e iI mighI :cunc |ike l ju:I ccnIrccicIec my:e|f, recc cn
cnc l wi|| c|crify cnc mcke iI |cgicc| Ic ycu.
Ycu ccnI hcve ccnIrc| in cny :iIucIicn if ycu cre ncI fccu:ec, iI: :imp|y
ncI pc::iL|e. Sc fccu: ccme: Lefcre ccnIrc|. /nc wiIhcuI fccu: cnc
ccnIrc|, ycu cre very weck in hcw Ic Le f|exiL|e. Sc if fccu: i: neecec Ic
hcve ccnIrc| cnc f|exiLi|iIy neec: LcIh fccu: cnc ccnIrc| Ic Le effecIive,
Ihen iI ju:I mcke: :en:e IhcI fccu: ccme: fir:I, ccnIrc| ccme: :eccnc,
fc||cwec Ly f|exiLi|iIy. Ihen Ihrcugh ycur f|exiLi|iIy ycu gcin ccciIicnc| cr
mccifiec fccu:, which puI: ycu inIc c :Ircnger :IcIe cf ccnIrc|.
Sc Ihere i: Ihe |ccp.
Dce: IhcI mcke :en:e :c fcr {pe|ncp:. c| pe|ncp: nct. cut |t w|||)

Ckcy, ncw Ic e|cLcrcIe cn hcw Ihe:e Ihree cre c|:c inIerccnnecIec. Ihe
mc:I impcrIcnI excmp|e cf Ihe inIerccnnecIicn i: Leing f|exiL|e in ycur
ccnIrc|. WhcI Ihi: mecn:, i: IhcI ycu wcnI Ic Le in ccnIrc|, LuI ycu cc ncI
wcnI Ic Le ccnIrc||ing. /nc Ihe Le:I wcy Ic cvcic Leing ccnIrc||ing i: Ic
Le f|exiL|e encugh Ic uncer:Icnc cnc ccn:icer cpinicn:, feecLcck, cnc
kncw|ecge IhcI i: ccming frcm :cmecne cIher Ihcn YCU.
ln :imp|e Ierm:: lI: fine Ic hcve cn egc, ju:I ccnI Le re:i:IcnI Ic :cmecne
Iecching ycu :cmeIhing IhcI ccn Le u:efu|.
l|| gc inIc IhcI pcrIicu|cr c:pecI in mcre ceIci| |cIer in Ihi: chcpIer.
Sc f|exiLi|iIy c::i:I: in ycu hcving LeIIer ccnIrc|.
Ihe LeIIer ycur ccnIrc|, Ihe LeIIer ycu ccn fccu: cn Ihe Ihing: IhcI cre
impcrIcnI. Sc Ihe fcrwcrc cyc|e {Fccu:, CcnIrc|, F|exiLi|iIy) i: LenefiIec Ly
ycu Ihen Icking iI Lcck cgcin {F|exiLi|iIy, CcnIrc|, Fccu:) Ic enhcnce whcI
gcI iI Ihere.
Ncw cce: iI mcke LeIIer :en:e hcw Ihi: |ccp i: c|:c inIerccnnecIec

Ncw IhcI ycu hcve c c|ecrer uncer:Icncing cf whcI l cm :cying, |eI:
Lreck ccwn Ihe Ihree piece: incivicuc||y, :c ycu uncer:Icnc Ihe cmczing
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125


pcwer ecch pc::e::e:.

FCCUS

/: i: Irue wiIh /NYIHlNG ycu wcnI Ic ccccmp|i:h, ycu hcve Ic fccu: cn iI
Ic kncw whcI iI i: ycu wcnI, cnc hcw ycu kncw when ycu cre geIIing iI.
/nc ycu hcve Ic Le :ure ycu cre fccu:ec cn Ihe righI Ihing:, cr ycu mighI
mi:: Ihe very cuIccme ycu IhcughI ycu were fccu:ec cn.
ln Lc:eLc||, Ihe :eccnc Lc:emcn hc: Ic fccu: cn vcricu: Ihing: if he i:
gcing Ic effecIive|y ccccmp|i:h hi: gcc|: He|p h|s teom to w|n.
/|| Ihe p|cyer: cn Ihe Iecm neec Ic cc Ihi: Icc, LuI lm :ing|ing cuI Ihe
:eccnc Lc:emcn :c l ccn i||u:IrcIe Ihe pcinI cf gccc cnc Lcc fccu:. Sc
|ike l :cic, Ihe :eccnc Lc:emcn hc: Ic fccu: cn vcricu: Ihing:. He i: ncI
fccu:ec cn /LL cf Ihe:e Ihing: cI Ihe :cme Iime Ihcugh, cr e|:e he wcu|c
ccIuc||y Le c|:t|cctec, which ccu|c |ecc Ic fee|ing: cf cverwhe|m, ncI
fccu:ec. ln:Iecc, hi: fccu: i: iniIic||y cn when Ihe piIcher Ihrcw: Ihe Lc||
cnc whcI Ihe LcIIer i: cL|e Ic cc wiIh IhcI piIch. IhcI i: Ihe fccu: he hc:
Leccu:e IhcI i: where iI neec: Ic Le fcr him Ic Le:I perfcrm hi: jcL.
LeI: :cy IhcI Ihe re:u|I i: IhcI, Ihe LcIIer i: :Iruck cuI. Ihe nexI LcIIer
ccme: up, cnc Ihe :eccnc Lc:emcn cnce cgcin hc: hi: fccu: cn when
Ihe piIcher i: Ihrcwing Ihe Lc||, cnc whcI Ihe LcIIer i: cL|e Ic cc wiIh IhcI
piIch. Ihen, if Ihe LcIIer hiI: Ihe Lc|| inIc hi: crec cf ccvercge, he :Icp:
fccu:ing cn Ihe piIcher, cnc :Icp: fccu:ing cn Ihe LcIIer, cnc ncw hi:
fccu: i: cn where IhcI Lc|| i: cnc where iI i: gcing.
Why cic he chcnge hi: fccu:
Why i: he nc |cnger fccu:ec cn Ihe piIcher cnc Ihe LcIIer
Ihe cn:wer i: Leccu:e c: c re:u|I cf where hi: fccu: W/S, he knew where
hi: fccu: neecec Ic 8E.
Sc |eI: :cy Ihe :eccnc Lc:emcn ccIche: Ihe Lc|| {Ihcnk: Ic him Leing
fccu:ec cn iI, cf ccur:e). Since Ihe fir:I LcIIer wc: :Iruck cuI, ncw Ihere
cre 2 cuI:. /nc |eI: :cy IhcI Ihe nexI LcIIer hiI: c :ing|e.
Ncw, when Ihe nexI LcIIer ccme: Ic Ihe p|cIe, Ihe :eccnc Lc:emcn
cnce cgcin gce: Lcck Ic fccu:ing cn Ihe piIcher cnc whcI Ihe LcIIer i:
cL|e Ic cc wiIh Ihe piIch. {He cce: ncI neec Ic fccu: cn Ihe mcn cn fir:I
Lc:e, Ihe piIcher cnc Ihe fir:I Lc:emcn cre c|reccy ccing IhcI) 8uI |eI:
:cy IhcI ju:I c: Ihe piIcher Ihrcw: Ihe Lc|| Ic Ihe LcIIer, Ihe mcn cn fir:I
cecice: Ic Iry cnc :Iec| :eccnc Lc:e. Ncw Ihe :eccnc Lc:emcn: fccu:
neec: Ic chcnge, righI Ncw in:Iecc cf Leing fccu:ec cn Ihe piIcher cnc
Ihe LcIIer, hi: fccu: i: cn Ihe ccIcher cnc Ihe mcn Irying Ic :Iec| :eccnc
Lc:e.
{Ycu mighI Le c:king, 8uI if he wc:nI fccu:ec cn Ihe guy cI fir:I Lc:e,
hcw cce: he kncw Ihe guy i: Irying Ic :Iec| :eccnc" Ihe cn:wer i::
8eccu:e he i: /W/FE cf Ihe mcn cn fir:I. 8eing cwcre cf :cmeIhing i:
cifferenI Ihcn Leing fccu:ec cn :cmeIhing. l|| Le gcing inIc Ihe cwcre"
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c:pecI cf fccu: :hcrI|y)
Ncw IhcI he i: fccu:ec cn Ihe ccIcher, he i: LeIIer prepcrec Ic hcnc|e
Ihe mcn Irying Ic :Iec| :eccnc. He mighI mcmenIcri|y fccu: cn Ihe mcn
Irying Ic :Iec| :eccnc, ju:I Ic geI cn icec cf hcw uick|y Ihe guy i:
cpprccching cnc if Ihe guy mighI Le cIIempIing Ic run Lcck Ic fir:I. 8uI
IhcI i: cn|y fcr c mcmenI, cnc Ihen hi: fccu: i: :c|e|y cn Ihe ccIcher. He
prepcre: fcr Ihe ccIcher Ic Ihrcw Ihe Lc|| Ic him, cnc Ihen cnce iI i:
Ihrcwn, Ihe :eccnc Lc:emcn: fccu: i: cn ccIching Ihe Lc|| cnc geIIing
Ihe runner cuI.

Ncw l wcnI Ic pcinI cuI :cmeIhing Ic ycu.

ln Ihe ccur:e cf Ihi: excmp|e, whcI cc ycu Ihink wc: Ihe mcin fccu: cf
IhcI :eccnc Lc:emcn Ihere wc: CNE Ihing IhcI wc: c|wcy: Ihe ncc|
fccu: cf IhcI :eccnc Lc:emcn.
Sc whcI wc: iI
He wc: fccu:ec cn Ihe piIcher, ye:, LuI IhcI wc: ncI hi: ncc| fccu:, ju:I c
pcrI cf Ihe cverc|| fccu:.
lI wc:nI Ihe LcIIer, cr Ihe runner, Ihey were c|:c ju:I c:pect: cf hi: fccu:.
Ihe cn:wer i:: Ihe bo||.
Hi: fccu: cn Ihe piIcher, Ihe LcIIer, Ihe ccIcher, cnc Ihe runner, were c||
ccnnecIec Ly hi: cverc|| fccu: cf c|wcy: Leing fccu:ec cn where IhcI
Lc|| wc:.
Sc ju:I |ike IhcI :eccnc Lc:emcn, ycure gcing Ic hcve c:pecI: cf where
ycur fccu: i:, LuI Ihere wi|| c|wcy: Le CNE mcjcr crec ycu neec Ic :Icy
fccu:ec cn.

ln Lu:ine::, mcre :pecificc||y, Ihe :c|e: per:cn, Ihere i: Ihe
invenIcry/prccucI, prccucI kncw|ecge, cnc cf ccur:e, Ihe
ccmmi::icn:/Lcnu:e:. 8uI c|| cf Ihc:e cre c:pect: cf Ihe mcjcr fccu:. Sc
whcI i: Ihe mcjcr fccu:
lf ycu IhcughI :c|e: wc: Ihe mcjcr fccu:, ycuc Le wrcngl

Wnct A|e ycu |n:cne. /|cnce|

We||, l mcy very we|| 8E in:cne, LuI lm c|:c ccrrecI.
Ycu ccn ncI mcke Ihe :c|e/:ec| Ihe cec|/c|c:e Ihe cec|/ring Ihe Le||,
wiIhcuI Ihe customer.
Sc in :c|e:, Ihe mcjcr fccu: i: Ihe cu:Icmer. Cr, Ic Le mcre: :pecific, whcI
wi|| inf|uence Ihe cu:Icmer Ic Luy Ihe prccucI. Ihe gcc| i: Ihe :c|e, LuI
Ihe mcjcr |ccu: i: Ihe cu:Icmer {cr cI |ec:I iI i: in cny Lu:ine:: IhcI wcnI:
Ic keep Leing :ucce::fu|) WiIhcuI Ihe cu:Icmer, ycu hcve nc cne Ic :e||
Ic. WiIhcuI hcving :cmecne Ic :e|| Ic, ycu hcve nc Lu:ine::l Sc ycu mu:I
mcke Ihe cu:Icmer ycur mcjcr fccu:, periccl Ihe mcre ycu fccu: cn Ihe
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cu:Icmer, cnc Ihe mcre ycu |i:Ien cnc uncer:Icnc Ihe cu:Icmer, Ihe
mcre |ike|y ycu cre gcing Ic :e|| Ihem ycur prccucI.
Ihere i: c rec:cn why :c|e: i: Ihe highe:I pcic prcfe::icn. /nc IhcI rec:cn
i: Leccu:e Ihe whc|e pcinI cf c :c|e: jcL i: Ic ccnvince c perfecI :Ircnger
Ic hcnc Iheir mcney cver Ic ycu. /nc IhcI Icke: :ki|| {exc|ucing pcinIing
cn crmec wecpcn cI Iheir fcrehecc) Sc c: ycu mcke Ihe cu:Icmer ycur
mcjcr fccu:, c|| Ihc:e cIher c:pecI: {|ike Ihe ccIuc| S/LE) ccnnecI.

8uI Ihi: i:nI c Lcck cn Lu:ine::. IH/I Lcck i: fcrIhccming in cncIher cf Ihe
8eIc inIc /|phc" :erie:.

Sc |eI: geI Lcck Ic Ihe pcinI cf Ihi: chcpIer.

When ycu ccn FCCUS, cnc remcin fccu:ec, Ihen ycu hcve c c|ecr
cirecIicn Ic hecc in. WiIh c c|ecr cirecIicn Ic hecc in, ycu cre LeIIer
prepcrec cnc cwcre cf hcw Ic geI Ihere.

Sc hcw cc ycu remcin fccu:ec We||, ycu c|reccy cc iI c|| Ihe Iime, ycu
ju:I mcy ncI rec|ize IhcI ycure ccing iI. /nc cfIen Iime:, ircnicc||y, ycur
fccu: i: cn Ihe very Ihing ycu DCNI wcnI iI Ic Le cn.
Ihere ycu cre, cI c jcL inIerview, cnc ycure Ihinking, l rec||y hcpe l ccnI
:cy cnyIhing :Iupic." Sc Ihrcugh Ihe whc|e inIerview ycure fccu:ec cn l
hcpe l ccnI :cy cnyIhing :Iupic." Ycure fccu:ec cn Ihe very Ihing
ycure wcnIing Ic cvcic. Sc in:Iecc cf fccu:ing cn ncI :cying cnyIhing
:Iupic, fccu: cn lm gcing Ic geI Ihi: jcL." lI cce:nI mcIIer if ycu enc up
ccIuc||y geIIing IhcI jcL, cI |ec:I ycu were geIIing ycur:e|f Ic fccu: cn Ihe
gcc|" in:Iecc cf Ihe :IumL|e."

Cr hcw cLcuI when ycu geI cff frcm wcrk, ycure cn Ihe freewcy, :Iuck in
Ircffic Ycu |ike|y remcin fccu:ec cn Ihe fccI IhcI ycure :Iuck in Ircffic,
righI Even Ihcugh Ihere: ncIhing ycu ccn cc cLcuI iI, ycu :Ii|| c||cw
ycur:e|f Ic remcin fccu:ec cn iI. Ycu cu:: cuI criver: whc ccnI pc::iL|y
hecr ycu, ycu hcnk ycur hcrn c: if IhcI: gcing Ic re:u|I in c|| Ihe cIher ccr:
immecicIe|y mcving cgcin, cnc ycu ye|| cI c :iIucIicn IhcI i:nI gcing Ic
:uccen|y imprcve :imp|y Leccu:e ycu ye||ec cI iI.
Sc, :ince ycure c|reccy :Iuck in Ircffic cnywcy, cnc nc cmcunI cf ye||ing
i: gcing Ic mcgicc||y chcnge IhcI, ycu mighI c: we|| u:e Ihi: Iime Ic fccu:
cn :cmeIhing e|:e, :cmeIhing prccucIive. Like, |eI: :cy, fccu:ing cn IhcI
ncve| ycu p|cn cn wriIing cne ccy CrecIing Ihe chcrccIer: IhcI wi|| Le in
Ihe :Icry...wheIher iI|| Le c my:Iery ncve| cr c :u:pen:e Ihri||er. (C| ycu
ccn cc wnct | pe|:cnc||y cc wnen :tuck |n t|c|||c. | ncke up cut|cgecu:
:tc||e: |c| tne ctne| pecp|e tnct c|e c|:c :tuck |n t|c|||c. nct guy u:t
|cunc cut n|: ccugnte| gct c tcttcc cn ne| |nne| tn|gn tnct :cy: ':|ippery
when weI nct ccup|e |n tne n|n|vcn c|e ||||ng |c| c|vc|ce ceccu:e
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tney u:t ccn't cg|ee cn wnc ncke: tne ce:t nccnc :cy |ctte |n tcwn.}

8uI l cigre::...

CCNFCL

/: l menIicnec necr Ihe Leginning cf Ihi: chcpIer, ycu neec Ic hcve
ccnIrc|, wiIhcuI Leing ccnIrc||ing.
Sc hcw cce: cne mcke :ure Ic cc IhcI
Fir:I, cnc mc:I impcrIcnI|y, ycu hcve Ic Le :ure IhcI Ihe :Ircnge:I |eve| cf
ccnIrc|, i: Ihe ccnIrc| ycu hcve cver ycu|:e||. Ihi: mecn: Ic u:e ycur fccu:
Ic Le :ure cf whcI ycu wcnI, cnc Ic Ihen hcve ccnIrc| cver ycur emcIicn:
:c ycu ccn :Icy in ccnIrc| cf ycur ccIicn:. Cne cf Ihe Ligge:I ccu:e: cf
|c:I cppcrIuniIie: cnc fci|ure" i: when ycu |eI ycur emcIicn: c|cuc ycur
fccu:, which Ihen c|Ier: ycur :e|f ccnIrc|. /nc when ycuve |c:I :e|f
ccnIrc|, ycuve |c:I ycur pcwer cnc given iI Ic :cmecne IhcI i: ncI YCU.
Seccnc, uncer:Icnc IhcI ju:I Leccu:e ycu :ee Ihe vc|ue in :cmeIhing,
cce: ncI cuIcmcIicc||y mecn :cmecne e|:e wi|| :ee iI c: we||. Fci|ing Ic
uncer:Icnc Ihi:, i: Leing ncI cn|y :e|fi:h, iI: Leing ccnIrc||ing. We c|| hcve
Ic Le given Ihe re:pecI cf hcving cur cwn ccnvicIicn: cnc pc::icn:. Ihere
i: ncIhing wrcng wiIh Irying Ic mcIivcIe, in:pire, cnc |ecc. 8uI in Ihe enc,
c|| ycu ccn cc i: :IcIe ycur cc:e, cnc |eI pecp|e mcke up Iheir cwn
minc:. 8y Leing in ccnIrc| cf ycur:e|f, iI wi|| mcre cfIen :hcw in Ihe minc:
cf cIher pecp|e, cnc wi|| mcre cfIen cirecI Ihing: in c fcvcrcL|e wcy. lI i:
ncI unccmmcn fcr pecp|e Ic re:i:I ycu, :imp|y Leccu:e Ihey fee| ycu cre
Irying Ic ccnIrc| Ihem. 8uI, Ly |eIIing Ihem hcve Iheir cwn cpinicn:, cnc
|eIIing Ihem mcke up Iheir cwn minc:, ycu give Ihem Ihe |uxury cf mcking
c ceci:icn Ihey fee| Ihey mcce cn Iheir cwn.
/nc IhcI i: cL:c|uIe|y pc::iL|el
Cn Ihe f|ip :ice Ic IhcI, Ly hcving ccnIrc| cver ycur:e|f, pecp|e wi|| :ee
IhcI ycu cre ncI :cmecne whc ccn Le Icken |ighI|y, ycu hcve ccnvicIicn
cnc ccnficence in whcI ycu wcnI cnc hcw ycu wcnI iI. Ihey mcy ncI
cckncw|ecge ycu fcr iI, ncr gc checc cnc |eI ycu hcve ycur wcy, LuI
IhcI :hcu|cnI Le why ycure ccing iI cnywcy. When ycu hcve ccnIrc|
cver ycur:e|f, iI inc|uce: ncI |eIIing :cmecne: cpprcvc| cr ci:cpprcvc|
cffecI ycur fccu:, ncr ycur ccnIrc| cver ycur:e|f.
8y IhcI :cme |ine cf Ihinking, ycu :hcu|c ncI u:e ycur cwn cpprcvc| cr
ci:cpprcvc| cf :cmecne c: c weckne::. Mecning, ccnI Icke ccvcnIcge
cf :cmecne whc he|p: ycu gcin whcI ycu wcnI, ju:I |ike ycu ccnI :eek
revenge cn :cmecne whc cce: ncI he|p ycu gcin whcI ycu wcnI.
/gcin, iI c|| ccme: ccwn Ic :e|f ccnIrc|, which cce: ncI |eI Ihe:e Ihing:
c|Ier Iheir pcwer.
Ihere cre gcing Ic Le Iime: when ycu cIIcin Ihing: very ec:y, Iime: when
ycu cIIcin Ihing: Ihrcugh hcrc wcrk, Iime: when :cmecne wi|| Le cn
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cL:Icc|e, cnc Iime: when :cmecne i: gcing Ic Le c Lrick wc||. Ihrcugh c||
cf Ihe:e, ycur :e|f ccnIrc| wi|| ceIermine Ihe |eve| cf cpprecicIicn fcr ycur
effcrI:, cnc ycur |eve| cf per:i:Ience Ic finc wcy: Ic geI Ihe Ihing: ycure
fccu:ec cn. Ihere cre gcing Ic Le pecp|e whc wi|| Iru|y Ie:I ycur
pcIience, cnc Ihe vc:I mcjcriIy cf pecp|e wi|| |eI Ihi: geI Ic Ihem, cnc |eI
iI ccu:e Ihem Ic |c:e :e|f ccnIrc|. 8uI ycu ccnI |eI IhcI Le ycu. Ycu neec
Ic geI in Ihe hcLiI cf :Icying fccu:ec cn ycur gcc|, cnc keeping ccnIrc| cf
ycur emcIicn: cnc cirecIicn. FememLer Ic gc Lcck frcm Iime Ic Iime
cnc re-recc Ihe chcpIer: "Ihe A|pho Emot|ons," "Leoder or 8u||y?" & "Ihe
A|pho M|nd Vo|ce" Ic he|p ycu in Ihi: crec. F|u:, mcke :ure Ic u:e Ihe
Emc:ic {Im) we crecIec.
Nc mcIIer whcI, Ihe mcre ycu :Icy in ccnIrc| cf ycur:e|f, Ihe mcre ycu||
finc ycur:e|f geIIing Ihing: IhcI wi|| mcke ycu hcppy. /nc :cmeIime: whcI
wi|| mcke ycu hcppy ccu|c Le :cmeIhing IhcI wc: ncI criginc||y pcrI cf
ycur gcc|.
Which |ecc: u: Ic...


F|ex|c|||ty

Ihe mc:I impcrIcnI Ihing cLcuI cngcing :ucce::, i: kncwing IhcI ycu
neec Ic Le f|exiL|e. WhcI Ihi: mecn: i:, ju:I Leccu:e ycu hcve Ihi: Lri||icnI
p|cn, cnc ycu fee| cerIcin IhcI iI wi|| |ecc Ic :ucce::, cce: ncI mecn ycu
:hcu|c :Iick Ic cny CNE wcy cf mcking iI wcrk. /: mcny :ucce::fu|
pecp|e wi|| Ie|| ycu, mcny if ncI mc:I cf Iheir :ucce:: reuirec Ihem Ic Le
very f|exiL|e c|cng Ihe wcy. ln cur exciIemenI cnc ce:ire Ic cchieve
Ihing:, we ccn :cmeIime: Leccme Icc rigic in Ihe prcce::. Fcr excmp|e,
|eI u: :cy IhcI ycu hcve c gcc| Ic mcke $1,000 exIrc every mcnIh. /nc
when ycu fc||cw Ihe p|cn IhcI ycu hcve ccme up wiIh, iI: cn|y ecrning
ycu $250 exIrc c mcnIh. Ihe p|cn wc: Ic mcke iI c|| in cne wcy, LuI IhcI:
ncI hcppening. Cn Icp cf IhcI, cuI cf Ihe $250 exIrc, ycure hcving Ic puI
$100 cf iI righI Lcck inIc ycur prcjecI. Sc ycure ccIuc||y cn|y mcking $150
exIrc c mcnIh. /re ycu fci|ing in ycur gcc| Ihe cn:wer i: NC. Ycure
mcking prcgre::, :c IhcI exIrc $150 i: c :Iep ycuve mcce IhcI wc:nI
Ihere Lefcre. Ncw |eI u: :cy IhcI ycu ccnIinue c|cng wiIh ycur p|cn, LuI
iI: ju:I ncI gcining ycu mcre Ihcn IhcI :cme $250 exIrc c mcnIh. Sc ycu
wcncer Ic ycur:e|f, Dc l :Iick wiIh Ihi: p|cn, cr cc|| iI c Lu:I"
Ihe cn:wer l :ugge:I Ic ycu, i: cc NElIHEFl
Ycur gcc| i: $1,000, gc fcr IhcI. Ju:I finc wcy: Ic Le f|exiL|e wiIh ycur p|cn,
:c c: Ic finc cuI whcI mighI geI ycu c|c:er Ic ycur gcc|. ScmeIime: whcI
mighI :een Ic Le c :Iep Lcck" i: ccIuc||y ju:I c ceIcur cn Ihe rccc Ic
geIIing whcI ycu wcnI.
Here i: c rec| |ife excmp|e Ic :hcw Ihi: pcinI.

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Jcmie hcc Leen |iving pcycheck Ic pcycheck fcr uiIe :cme Iime. Cne
ccy :he hcc encugh, when her renI increc:ec cnc her ccr neecec c
new Ircn:mi::icn. She mcce c p|cn Ic ecrn cn exIrc $800 c mcnIh, cnc
cuI her creciI ccrc ceLI Ly cI |ec:I hc|f. Her fir:I :Iep, wc: Ic :iI ccwn cnc
recrgcnize her LucgeI. She wcnIec Ic finc wcy: Ic cuI Lcck cn
neec|e::" expen:e:, |ike week|y Irip: Ic Ihe mcvie:, cuIIing Lcck cn
grccery purchc:e: {|ike :weeI:, which :he :cic he|pec her in her cncIher
gcc|: Ic geI inIc LeIIer :hcpe), cnc :hcpping :pree:. /fIer :ericu: chcice:
cn whcI Ic cuI Lcck cn, Jcmie gue::IimcIec :he ccu|c :cve crcunc $300-
$375 c mcnIh. Her icec fcr Ihi: mcney wc: Ic u:e iI Ic ccuL|e up, even
Irip|e up, cn her creciI ccrc pcymenI:. She Ihen Iriec Ic finc wcy: Ic
genercIe ccciIicnc| inccme. /|| :he neecec wc: c :eccnc jcL IhcI pcic
her frcm $425-$500 c mcnIh. She fcunc c few jcL: :he ccu|c geI, LuI Ihey
ccnf|icIec wiIh her primcry jcL: :checu|e, :c :he pc::ec cn Ihem. Ihe
cn|y jcL: IhcI :he ccu|c fiI in her currenI wcrk :checu|e, were fcr ju:I c
ccup|e cf ccy: c week, LuI iI wcu|c cn|y mecn crcunc $300 c mcnIh.
Which when puI IcgeIher wiIh her new LucgeI, gcve her $75 cI Ihe
mc:I. IhcI: $125 :hcrI cf her $800 gcc|. Jcmie IhcughI cLcuI :e||ing :cme
cf her cc||ecIicn cf Lecnie cnimc|:, which were c :ericu: rcge in Ihe |cIe
10:. 8uI :he Irec:urec Ihem, :c :he chc:e ncI Ic :e|| Ihem. She IhcughI
cLcuI :e||ing her ccr, cnc geIIing c Licyc|e in:Iecc, :ince her jcL wc: cn|y
3 mi|e: cwcy. 8uI, :he IhcughI IhcI wcu|c mcke her |cck |ike c ccrk, cnc
wcu|c |imiI her cLi|iIy Ic Icke Irip:, :c :he pc::ec cn IhcI icec. 8efcre |cng,
Jcmie gcve up, cnc evenIuc||y wenI righI Lcck Ic :pencing mcney |ike
:he u:ec Ic.

Were ycu cL|e Ic :ee where Jcmie wc: ncI Leing f|exiL|e
Fcr cne Ihing, Jcmie ccu|c hcve Icken cne cf Ihc:e pcrI-Iime jcL: fcr ju:I
c few mcnIh:, u:ec Ihe $75 Ic virIuc||y wipe cuI her creciI ccrc ceLI: Ly
Ihe enc cf Ihc:e few mcnIh:, which wcu|c hcve given her cI |ec:I cne
creciI ccrc IhcI hcc c fu|| cvci|cL|e |imiI {which wcu|c hcve Leen fcr
mcre Ihcn ju:I $800 l wcu|c imcgine) She ccu|c Ihen uiI her pcrI-Iime
jcL, ccnIinue wiIh Ihe LucgeI IhcI :cvec her $300-$375 c mcnIh, puI mc:I
cr c|| cf IhcI inIc c :cving: ccccunI Ic crcw inIere:I, cnc Ly c fu|| yecr
hcve c few Ihcu:cnc cc||cr: p|u: inIere:Il ln ccciIicn, :he |eI her
cIIcchmenI Ic her Lecnie cnimc|: cverrice her :ericu:ne:: Ic cIIcin her
gcc|. l fu||y uncer:Icnc hcving cn cIIcchmenI Ic Ihing:, LuI ycu hcve Ic
:ericu:|y c:k ycur:e|f if ycu wcnI Ic |eI gucrcnIeec mcney cc||ecI cu:I cn
c :he|f, cr cc ycu wcnI Ic cIIcin ycur gcc| She ccu|c hcve ec:i|y :c|c
Ihem in cn cn|ine cucIicn, cr pc:Iec f|yer: fcr c Lecnie :c|e" cnc hcc c
gcrcge :c|e Ic :e|| Ihem. Nc cne :cic :he hcc Ic :e|| /LL cf Ihem, LuI
:ure|y :he ccu|c pcrI wiIh, :cy, 10 cr 15 cf Ihe 100 Lecnie cnimc|: :he hcc.
Ihi: wcy :he ccu|c fcrgc Ihe pcrI-Iime jcL ccmp|eIe|y, chcc:e Ic eiIher
keep Ihe new LucgeI cr Ic :p|urge" cn :cmeIhing every ccup|e cf
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week:, cnc :Ii|| hcve cIIcinec her $800 c mcnIh gcc|.

Ihe pcinI i:, Jcmie hcc c c|ecr gcc|, LuI wc: ncI f|exiL|e in hcw Ic cIIcin
IhcI gcc|. Sc, :he |c:I. Ihe re:curce: fcr cIIcining her gcc| were righI Ihere,
LuI :he cicnI gc fcr Ihem, cnc encec up fru:IrcIec IhcI Ihe gcc| wc: ncI
cIIcinec Ihrcugh her :e|f |imiIec cpIicn:.

ScmeIime:, ycu neec Ic Le f|exiL|e in wcy: CIHEF Ihcn hcw Ic cchieve c
gcc|. ScmeIime: ycu hcve Ic Le f|exiL|e encugh Ic |eI gc cf Ihe gcc|
iI:e|f, :c c: Ic cIIcin :cmeIhing which Lring: ycu |cnger cnc mcre fu|fi||ing
:cIi:fccIicn. Fcr excmp|e...

8cck when he wc: in high :chcc|, fcrmer U.S. Fre:icenI Fcnc|c Fecgcn
wcnIec :c Lcc|y Ic wcrk cI c :pecific cepcrImenI :Icre. He Iriec cnc he
Iriec, LuI iI ju:I cicnI wcrk cuI. He Leccme cepre::ec. Hi: mcIher wcnIec
Ic |ifI hi: :piriI:, :c :he LrcughI him Ic c :Icge IhecIre where :he wc:
wcrking. Ihere, Fcnc|c Fecgcn fcunc c pc::icn fcr Ihe :Icge cnc ccIing.
/nc he grew up Ic Leccme c we|| kncwn Hc||ywccc ccIcr. He cicnI mi::
ncI hcving gcIIen IhcI cepcrImenI :Icre jcL, l'm gue::ing.

lI c|| wcrkec in cn impcrIcnI cyc|e.

Hcc he ncI wcnIec Ihe jcL cI Ihe cepcrImenI :Icre :c Lcc|y, he wcu|c
ncI hcve Leen :c cepre::ec cLcuI ncI geIIing iI.
Hcc he ncI Leen :c cepre::ec, hi: mcIher wcu|c ncI hcve LrcughI him Ic
Ihe :Icge IhecIre Ic |ifI hi: :piriI:.
Hcc :he ncI LrcughI him Ic Ihe :Icge IhecIre, he wcu|c ncI hcve
ci:ccverec c pc::icn fcr ccIing.
Hcc he ncI ci:ccverec c pc::icn fcr ccIing, he mighI never hcve
Leccme c fcmcu: ccIcr.
Hcc he ncI Leccme c fcmcu: ccIcr, he mighI ncI hcve hcc Ihe
reccgniIicn Ic win Ihe 180 Fre:icenIic| e|ecIicn.
/nc hcc he ncI wcn Ihe Fre:icenIic| e|ecIicn, whc: Ic :cy if Ihe 8er|in
Wc|| wcu|c hcve :Ii|| ccme ccwn cr ncI

Uncer:Icnc IhcI l cm c Ligger ccvcccIe cf gcing fcr Ihe gcc|: IhcI ycu
hcve, ver:u: giving up cn Ihem cnc pc::iL|y fincing :cmeIhing LeIIer. 8UI,
when ycu kncw IhcI in ycur hecrI ycu cic c|| IhcI ycu ccu|c, cnc IhcI
ycuve exhcu:Iec c|| pc::iL|e wcy: cf Irying Ic cIIcin IhcI gcc|, yeI were
:Ii|| uncL|e Ic cIIcin IhcI gcc|, l :uL:criLe Ic Ihe Le|ief IhcI iI: c :ign IhcI
ycure mecnI Ic cIIcin c cifferenI gcc| in:Iecc. / cifferenI gcc| IhcI mighI
ncI Le pc::iL|e if ycu cIIcinec Ihe previcu: gcc|. Cr, cI Ihe very |ec:I,
wcu|c ncI Le c: pcwerfu| cn ccccmp|i:hmenI if ycu cIIcinec Ihe previcu:
gcc|.
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132




IAKING II 8ACK...words

Ckcy, ycu ncw uncer:Icnc Ihe Fccu:, CcnIrc|, F|exiLi|iIy ccncepI. Here i:
where l :hcw ycu Ihe |ccp" pcrI cf Ihi: Lehcvicrc| |ccp."

Cnce ycu hcve f|exiLi|iIy, iI: impcrIcnI Ic keep ccnIrc| cver ycur:e|f :c
ycu ccn remcin fccu:ec cn reccgnizing cppcrIuniIie: cnc cpIicn: IhcI
Leccme cvci|cL|e Ic ycu Ihrcugh ycur f|exiLi|iIy.

lI: ncI encugh Ic ju:I Le f|exiL|e, ycu mu:I c|:c mcinIcin :e|f ccnIrc|, cr
e|:e ycure gcing Ic finc ycur:e|f gcing in mcny cirecIicn:. DirecIicn: IhcI
wi|| :ure|y ccu:e ycu |c:e fccu:, Leccu:e ycure gcing Ic fcrgeI whcI Ihe
he|| ycu were Irying Ic ccccmp|i:h. Ihi: i: Ihe very rec:cn why ccnIrc|" i:
Ihe cenIerpiece cf Ihi: |ccp. WiIhcuI iI Ihere, ycur fccu: i: gcing Ic hcve
ncIhing Ic keep iI in check, cnc ycur f|exiLi|iIy i: gcing Ic hcve ncIhing Ic
|eI iI kncw whcI cirecIicn iI: gcing in.

l kncw IhcI l mighI Le mcking iI :cunc very :imp|i:Iic, LuI iI: ncI. Ihe
FE/SCN Ic |ccp iI Lcck crcunc i: very :imp|i:Iic, LuI kncwing hcw Ic DC
IH/I i: ncI c: :imp|e. IhcI i:, unIi| ycu geI in Ihe hcLiI cf |ccping iI.
Ihi: i: yeI cncIher very gccc rec:cn Ic keep c jcurnc|. 8y wriIing ycur
ccIicn:, evenI:, cnc prcgre:: ccwn, ycu rewcrc ycur:e|f wiIh Ihe gifI cf
hinc:ighI cn fuIure evenI:. Sc geI c ccmn jcurnc|l


Up Ic ncw lve Leen Ic|king cLcuI 8eing cn /|phc" cnc /wckening
ycur /|phc." 8uI here i: where l finc||y gc inIc whcI l menIicnec wccccy
Lcck in Ihe Leginning cf Ihi: Lcck. Which i:, hcw Ic Le Ihe 8eIc IhcI geI:
/|phc re:u|I:, cnc :uL:euenI|y 8ECCMES Ihe /|phc.

Ycu hcve c jcL, l c::ume. /nc in IhcI jcL, cepencing cn whcI ycur
pc:iIicn i:, ycu hcve pecp|e whc cre cf euc| cuIhcriIy c: ycu, cnc
pecp|e whc cre cf higher cuIhcriIy Ihcn ycu. {|| ycu ncve pecp|e wncn
ycu :upe|v|:e. |gnc|e tnct c:pect c| |t |c| ncw. |'|| ccne ccck tc tnct
|cte|)
/: c wcrker Lee" ycu cre cL|e Ic fu|fi|| ycur funcIicn Leccu:e cf cIher
wcrker Lee:" fu|fi||ing Iheir funcIicn {Fxcept |c| wnct':-tne||-ncne. wnc
:cnencw ncncge: tc nct get |||ec ce:p|te ce|ng :ucn c |czy |ke||}.
Scme cf Ihe:e fe||cw Lee:," ycu geI c|cng wiIh ju:I fine, :cme ycu :imp|y
Ic|ercIe, cnc Ihere: cI |ec:I CNE IhcI irriIcIe: ycu Leccu:e Ihey Ic|k Ic
ycu |ike ycure wcrking FCF Ihem, ncI WlIH Ihem. WhcI if ycu ccu|c
mcinIcin Ihe re|cIicn:hip ycu hcve wiIh Ihe:e pecp|e, yeI Le ju:I |ike IhcI
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133


CNE per:cn, wiIh Ihe cLi|iIy Ic inf|uence Ihem Ic cc whcI ycu wcnI cnc
Ihey cre hcppy Ic cc iI Wcu|c IhcI Le :cmeIhing wcrIh kncwing hcw Ic
cc
Ihen gc Ic Ihe nexI chcpIer, cnc we|| Leginl







































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134


Mok|ng A|pho Dec|s|ons



Life i: Lu:y, cnc cfIen iI :eem: c: if Ihere cre ncI encugh minuIe: in cn
hcur, ncI encugh hcur: in c ccy, cnc ncI encugh ccy: in Ihe week, Ic cc
Ihe Ihing: IhcI ycu wcnI cr neec Ic geI ccne.
/ Iypicc| 8eIc wi|| cfIen :cy, lI fee|: |ike l wcrk cnc :|eep cnc ncIhing
e|:e." /nc Ic Ihem, IhcI :eem: very rec|.
8uI IhcI i: ccIuc||y ncI Irue.
Ihere cre 1,440 minuIe: in cne ccy. IhcI Lreck: ccwn Ic 8,400 :eccnc:.
Every humcn Leing geI: Ihe exccI :cme cmcunI, regcrc|e:: cf where ycu
were Lcrn, ycur :ccic| c|c::, ycur fincncic| :IcIu:, cr ycur gencer.
YeI Ihere :eem: Ic Le pecp|e whc mcncge Ic geI Ihing: ccne, whi|e Ihe
re:I ccmp|cin cLcuI ncI hcving encugh Iime.
Fcr Icc cfIen, pecp|e |c:e Iime" Ly mcking Lcc ceci:icn: cLcuI whcI
Ihey give Iheir Iime Ic.
Cn Ihe :urfcce, Ihi: :eem: |ike c :Icnccrc Iime mcncgemenI" i::ue. /nc
fcr Ihe mc:I pcrI, IhcI i: exccI|y whcI iI i:.
8uI mcre impcrIcnI Ihcn mcncging ycur Iime, i: mcncging Ihe ceci:icn:
ycu mcke cccut ycur Iime. lI: cne Ihing Ic mcke Ihe mcjcriIy cf ycur Iime
:penI cn Ihing: IhcI wi|| cirecI|y cr incirecI|y geI ycu Ic ycur gcc| (nc|e
ncney. cette| |e|ct|cn:n|p:. |np|cvec nec|tn. etc.} 8uI iI: cncIher Ihing
c|| IcgeIher Ic :cLcIcge ycur:e|f Ly Ihinking ycuve ccne encugh" Ic
meeI c pcrIicu|cr gcc| ecch ccy.
l hcve meI mcny, mcny, pecp|e, whc wi|| ccccmp|i:h :cmeIhing in c ccy,
cnc Ihen geI |czy fcr c few ccy: cr c week, :imp|y Leccu:e Ihey hcc
ccne encugh" Ic :cIi:fy c gcc| fcr ncw.
Fcr excmp|e, l knew c guy, ncmec Cecric, whc wc: cn exce||enI
:cfIwcre :c|e:mcn. l mecn, Ihi: guy ccu|c :e|| ycu :cfIwcre ycu c|reccy
hccl lm :ericu:l
We||, cne ccy we were hcving |unch cI Ihe Lecch, cnc l Legcn Ic|king
cLcuI :cme mcrkeIing ccpy l wcu|c Le wcrking cn cfIerwcrc:.
Cecric c:kec me, lm gcing Ic gc cc :cme :hcpping, l ccnI neec Ic cc
cny wcrk Icccy."
l IhcughI IhcI wc: c VEFY inIere:Iing Ihing fcr him Ic :cy. /nc Leing Ihe
curicu: guy IhcI l cm, l c:kec him, Why |cck cI iI c: 'neecing Ic wcrk
cnc ncI 'geIIing iI ccne ncw :c iI: ccmp|eIec in:Iecc"
Cecric rep|iec, Mcn, lve mcce encugh Ihi: week Ic pcy c|| my Li||:, cnc
:Ii|| cffcrc Ic hcve :cme fun. l ccn re|cx cI |ec:I c gccc Iwc week: wiIhcuI
hcving Ic :e|| cnyIhing cI c||."
Very, VEFY, inIere:Iingl
Cecric, wiIh c|| cue re:pecI, hcc IhcI ccne encugh" menIc|iIy. He mcce
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135


encugh Ihi: week Ic ncI hcve Ic wcrk nexI week. He fci|ec Ic :ee Ihe wcy
he wc: :cLcIcging him:e|f, cnc hi: |cng Ierm :ucce::.
Ycu :ee, fcr whcIever rec:cn:, pecp|e ceve|cp Ihe hcLiI cf :eeing
mcking mcney c:, lf l mcke $XXX Ihi: week, l ccnI hcve Ic wcrk hcrc
nexI week." Which DCES wcrk, LuI iI: cn enc|e:: cyc|e cf wcrk hcrc,
re|cx, wcrk hcrc, re|cx. /nc if ycu wcnI Ic :Icy in c |imiIec fincncic|
LrcckeI, cnc cn|y mcke encugh mcney Ic pcy Ihe Li||: cnc :urvive, cr
cn|y hcve c Iempcrcry fincncic| cu:hicn Ic p|cy wiIh, Ihen :Icy wiIh iI.
Ihe :cme cpp|ie: Ic effcrI: ycu mcke wiIh he|ping pecp|e. lI ccn Leccme
c Lcc hcLiI Ic Ihink, Ch, l gcve L|ccc Ihi: week, :c lve he|pec cuI
encugh." Wherec: cn /|phc ceci:icn i: mcre |ike, l gcve L|ccc Ihi: week,
cnc l|| gcIher up Ihc:e c|cIhe: l ccnI wecr cnymcre cnc ccncIe Ihem."
Dc ycu fc||cw me :c fcr
Ihe mc:I impcrIcnI pcinI Ic geI here, i: IhcI :uch Lehcvicr, :uch ceci:icn:,
ccme frcm c p|cce cf :ccrciIy cn c cerIcin |eve|.

Ihe Le:I Iype cf /|phc IhcI l hcve :een, mcke LeIIer ceci:icn: cLcuI
hi:/her Iime. Ihey p|cce Ihing: in |eve|: cf impcrIcnce righI cwcy, whi|e
:Icying fccu:ec cn Ihe Ic:k Ihey cre ccing cI Ihe mcmenI.
Fcr excmp|e, Ihere cre Iime: when l neec my :c|iIuce, my cwn Iime Ic Le
c|cne. CfIen l wi|| u:e IhcI Iime Ic recc, Ic wriIe, mcyLe e:ccpe Ic c
mcvie, :penc Iime :cmep|cce Ic ju:I :iI cnc Ihink, Icke c Like rice
:cmewhere l hcve ncI vi:iIec Lefcre, whcIever l wcnI Ic u:e my Iime
ccing.
WiIh ecch cf Ihe:e Ihing:, Ihere cre pc::iL|e ci:IrccIicn: IhcI wi|| cccur,
which hc: :cme |eve| cf cffecI cn whcI l cm ccing cI IhcI mcmenI.
l ccu|c Le :iIIing cn c Lench, :Icring cuI cI Ihe ccecn, ju:I Ihinking, cnc
:uccen|y my ce|| phcne mighI ring. Ihe ceci:icn Ihen Leccme: mine Ic
cn:wer IhcI cc|| cr ncI. 8eing :cmecne whc i: ncI inIc Ic|king cn Ihe
phcne ju:I Ic Le Ic|king, l mu:I fee| Ihere i: encugh rec:cn Ic Icke Ihe cc||,
cr e|:e l wi|| |eI my vcicemci| geI Ihe cc||. /cciIicnc||y, cepencing cn
whcI l cm ccing whi|e :iIIing cn IhcI Lench, cffecI: whcI l wi|| cc when
my ce|| phcne ring:. lf l cm cn c nice f|cw cf IhcughI, cne which l wcnI Ic
ccnIinue ccing wiIhcuI inIerrupIicn:, l wi|| igncre Ihe cc|| cnc geI Lcck Ic
whcmever iI i: |cIer, when l ccn give Ihem Ihe |eve| cf fccu: IhcI l fee|
Ihey :hcu|c hcve. Hcwever, IhcI ceci:icn chcnge: Lc:ec cn whc i:
cc||ing. /nc Ihcnk: Ic Cc||er lD, we hcve Ihe |uxury cf kncwing whc i: cn
Ihe cIher |ine Lefcre we cn:wer Ihe cc||. lf Ihe cc|| i: frcm :cmecne whc
ccn Le:I expeciIe :cmeIhing IhcI l neec Ic geI ccne, l wi|| mcre Ihcn
|ike|y Icke Iheir cc||. lf hcwever Ihe cc|| i: frcm :cmecne whc mcke: c
hcLiI cf ju:I wcnIing Ic Ic|k cLcuI whcI c :hiIIy Lcyfrienc/|ife/jcL Ihey
hcve, l igncre Ihe cc||.
/nc ju:I in cc:e Ihere i: uncerIcinIy c: Ic hcw impcrIcnI Ihe cc|| mighI Le,
l c|wcy:, /|wcy:, /LW/YS, give my:e|f c key wcrc" Ic recc||, :c l ccn pick
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136


up my f|cw cf IhcughI |cIer, cfIer l hcve cec|I wiIh Ihe cc||er.
l cc Ihing: Ihi: wcy Leccu:e few Ihing: cre mcre impcrIcnI Ic me Ihcn
evc|ving my kncw|ecge cnc ecuccIing Ihc:e whc wcnI Ic |ecrn.
Iherefcre, if whcI l cm ccing cI Ihe mcmenI i: he|ping IhcI gcc|, cIher
Ihing: Leccme :eccnccry.
Ihere i: ncIhing IhcI :cy: ycu hcve Ic cn:wer Ihe ccmn phcne every Iime
iI ring:. Ihere i: ncIhing IhcI :cy: ycu hcve Ic c|wcy: cn:wer Ihe phcne
ju:I Leccu:e iI: c frienc cc||ing. Ihere i: ncIhing IhcI :cy: /NYCNE i:
enIiI|ec Ic hcve ycur Iime whenever Ihey fee| Ihey wcnI iI frcm ycu.
Ycur Iime, ycu| ceci:icn, periccl

Cn. cut | |ec||y ||ke tn|: cne guy. :c | |cve tc|k|ng tc n|n.

Fine, LuI L|cme nc cne LuI YCUFSELF if iI re:u|I: in ycu ncI geIIing
:cmeIhing impcrIcnI ccne.

|'n t|y|ng tc e:tcc||:n c gccc |cppc|t w|tn tn|: wcncn. | wcnt ne| tc gc
cut w|tn ne. :c | ncve tc tcke tne cc||.

IhcI: fine, prcvicec Ihe Iime ycu give Ic her ccvcnce: Ihing:. CIherwi:e,
ycure gcing Ic geI fru:IrcIec cnc in hinc:ighI fee| ycu wc:Iec ycur Iime
cn her.
/: cn /|phc, ycu wi|| neec Ic Leccme c|ecr cn whcI i: cf highe:I pricriIy
in Ihe mcmenI, whcI ccn Le fccu:ec cn Lrief|y, whcI ccn Le fccu:ec cn
|cIer, cnc whcI i: c wc:Ie cf ycur Iime.

/: c 8eIc gcing inIc /|phc, Ihi: :IcrI: Ly ycu Leing ccurIecu: LuI firm wiIh
pecp|e. Ihe wcy Ic Le ccurIecu: LuI firm, i: Ic |i:Ien Ic :cmecne ju:I |cng
encugh Ic ceIermine if Ihi: i: gcing Ic Le cf LenefiI Ic ycu. NCI i: Ihi:
gcing Ic Le cf LenefiI Ic Ihe cIher per:cn, IhcI: ncI ycur primcry
re:pcn:iLi|iIyl Ycur Iime i: YCUFS, :c ycu neec Ic geI in Ihe hcLiI cf
:pencing iI cn Ihing: IhcI cre cf LenefiI Ic YCUl lf Ihe per:cn i: u:ing YCUF
Iime Ic crcne cn cLcuI Iheir per:cnc| crcmc, yeI iI: Icking Iime cwcy
frcm ycu ccccmp|i:hing :cmeIhing ycu were fccu:ec cn, cr :hcu|c Le
fccu:ec cn, Ihen :cy in c cc|m Icne, Ncw: ncI c gccc Iime, LuI l|| cc||
ycu |cIer." IhcI i:, if ycu Iru|y W/NI Ic cc|| Ihem |cIer. lf ycu ccnI, DCNI
S/Y YCULL C/LL. Ihi: i: cLcuI un|ec:hing ycur /|phc, ncI Lurning Lricge:
wiIh |ie:l Cf ccur:e, if ycu finc nc vc|ue in Ic|king wiIh Ihi: per:cn, if c|| Ihey
wcnI Ic cc i: un|ccc Iheir crcmc cn ycu, cnc Ihi: i: ncI Ihe rc|e ycu wcnI
Ic hcve wiIh Ihem, :imp|y {LuI cc|m|y) :cy Ic Ihem, l rec||y wcu|c |ike iI if
:cmeIime: we ccu|c hcve c ccnver:cIicn IhcI wc:nI cLcuI whcI:
wrcng." Iru:I me, if :cmecne geI: cffencec Ly IhcI, ycure LeIIer cff
wiIhcuI Iheml Hcr:h l ci:cgree. WhcI: hcr:h i: hcving Ihe mcjcriIy cf c
re|cIicn:hip Le IHEM ccmp|cining, cnc YCU hcving Ic ju:I :iI Ihere cnc
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|i:Ien Ic iIl 8uI, if ycure ju:I ncI uiIe ccnficenI encugh Ic :cy :uch c Ihing
Ic Ihem, here: c rccicc| IhcughI: SICF SI/YlNG lN ICUCH WlIH IHEMl
Cn|y Ihe mc:I cen:e cf pecp|e wi|| ncI geI Ihe me::cge when ycuve
:Icppec reIurning Iheir cc||:, cr when ycu nc |cnger hcve Iime Ic :penc
wiIh Ihem. 8uI cI SCME pcinI, Ic un|ec:h ycur /|phc, ycure gcing Ic hcve
Ic fcce Ihe per:cn cnc |cy iI cuI fcr Ihem. lI: never ec:y Ic |cck :cmecne
in Ihe eye, :cmecne ycuve Leen giving c |cI cf Iime Ic when ycu were c
8eIc, cnc :cy Ic Ihem, Ihi: hc: Ic enc." 8uI, if iI were ec:y, ycuc c|reccy
Le ccing iI. /nc cne cf Ihe mc:I cepre::ing Ihing: Ic ccmiI Ic ycur:e|f, i:
IhcI ycuve wc:Iec :c much energy cnc Iime cn pecp|e whc cre hc|cing
ycu Lcck frcm mcre fu|fi||ing Ihing:. lI: gccc Ic wcnI Ic Le c frienc Ic
:cmecne in neec, LuI IHEYFE ncI Leing c gccc frienc Lcck if c|| Ihey
ccn Ic|k Ic ycu cLcuI i: whcI: wrcngl

When iI ccme: Ic YCUF Iime, ycu cL:c|uIe|y, pc:iIive|y, neec Ic u:e Ihe
vc:I mcjcriIy cf iI Icwcrc ccccmp|i:hing whcI YCU neec Ic geI ccne. Ihe
cn|y pc::iL|e Ircce cff IhcI l ccu|c :ee, i: if IhcI crcmc-fi||ec frienc
vc|unIeer: Iheir cwn Iime Ic he|ping ycu wiIh Ihing: ycu neec Ic geI ccne.
ln :uch c cc:e, iI: c mcIIer cf Leing fcir Ic Ihem. Sure, Ihey crive ycu nuI:
when Ihey Ic|k cLcuI Ihe mc:I Irivic| cf Ihing:, LuI iI: c price wcrIh pcying
if Iheyre cn ccIive ccnIriLuIcr in he|ping ycu geI Ihing: ccne.

/I wcrk, ycure Leing pcic fcr ycur Iime. Sc fcr Ihe mc:I pcrI, ycur Lc::
hc: ccnIrc| cver whcI IhcI Iime i: u:ec fcr. HCWEVEF, when ycure cn
|unch, cr ycure gcing hcme fcr Ihe ccy, Ihi: i: YCUF Iime {exc|uc|ng c cc
tnct pcy: ycu |c| c |uncn c|eck). /: :uch, cnyIhing ycur Lc:: hc: Ic Ic|k Ic
ycu cLcuI ccn wciI unIi| ycure cn Ihe c|cck cgcin. /: c 8eIc gcing inIc
/|phc, Ihi: ccn Le ccne :everc| wcy:. / grecI wcy i: Ic c:k ycur Lc::, in c
re|cxec Icne, l: Ihi: wcrk re|cIec" lf iI i:, YCU C/N NCI 8E FlFED CF
FEFFlM/NDED fcr Ie||ing ycur Lc:: Ic Ic|k Ic ycu cLcuI iI when ycure
Lcck cn Ihe c|cck. Ihi: i: c hcrc cne fcr mcny pecp|e, Leccu:e Ihey cre
:c :ure IhcI Ihi: wi|| pi:: cff Iheir Lc::. 8uI, Ihi: i:nI cLcuI p|ec:ing cr ncI
p|ec:ing ycur Lc::l Ihi: i: cLcuI u:ing YCUF Iime Ihe wcy YCU wcnI Icl
Ihe ru|e IhcI l :ugge:I IhcI ycu fc||cw i: Ihi:: Ihe mcre ycu hcIe ycur Lc::,
Ihe mcre ycu :hcu|c Ie|| Ihem Ic Iheir fcce, We ccn Ic|k cLcuI Ihi: when
lm cn Ihe c|cck cgcin." lf ycu hcve c ccc|" Lc::, Ihen gc checc cnc
give him/her c minuIe, LuI Ihen ccnficenI|y :cy, l neec Ic gc, we ccn
fini:h Ihi: when l ccme Lcck in Icmcrrcw." Here: Ihe |cgic fcr LcIh cf
Ihe:e :ugge:Iicn:: IhcI Lc:: ycu hcIe, i: unwcrIhy cf ycur FEFSCN/L Iime.
Ihey ccmincIe ycur Iime when ycure cn Ihe c|cck, LuI YCU geI Ic
ccmincIe ycur Iime when ycure cff Ihe c|cck. IhcI ccc|" Lc:: cLvicu:|y
:hcw: ycu :cme |eve| cf re:pecI, :c reIurn Ihe re:pecI, LuI :Ii|| re:pecI Ihe
vc|ue cf ycur cwn Iime mcre. Ihe guice|ine Ic fc||cw here, i: Ic u:e IhcI
Iime Ic /CHlEVE :cmeIhing wiIh ycur per:cnc| Iime. Ihe mcre ycu geI
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pecp|e in Ihe hcLiI cf :eeing ycur Iime c: vc|ucL|e Ic ycu, Ihe mcre Ihey
wi|| eiIher vc|ue IhcI Iime, cr e|:e :Icp Icking up :c much cf iI. 8uI iI c||
:IcrI: wiIh YCU e:IcL|i:hing Ihe pcIIern. Ihe pcIIern cf Leing wi||ing Ic cuI
:cmecne cff mic-:enIence cnc |eIIing Ihem kncw ycu hcve Ihing: Ic geI
ccne. Ihe pcIIern cf NCI c|wcy: Leing cvci|cL|e cI IHElF |ei:ure. When
pecp|e :IcrI Ic rec|ize IhcI ycu |imiI Ihe Iime ycu give Ic Ihem, Ihey wi||
|ecrn Ic mcke Ihe Iime ycu give Ihem ME/N :cmeIhing.

/ncIher c:pecI cf gcing frcm 8eIc inIc /|phc Ihrcugh ycur ceci:icn:, i: Ic
cecice whcI ycure ccing in ycur cwn :pcre Iime. lf ycure freuenI|y
:iIIing crcunc Lcrec, Ihen ycure ncI ccing much Ic mcke Ihe Ircn:iIicn. if
ycure hcving Ic finc pecp|e Ic ci:IrccI ycu :c ycu wcnI Le Lcrec, IhcI
Icc i: ncI ccing much Ic mcke Ihe Ircn:iIicn. When gcing frcm 8eIc inIc
/|phc, cnc even cfIer fu||y un|ec:hing ycur /|phc, ycu neec Ic mcke
SCME pcrI cf ycur ccy prccucIive Ic ccvcncing ycur |ife. Ihi: ccn Le c
|iII|e cifficu|I :cmeIime:, e:pecic||y in Ihe Leginning cf ycur Ircn:iIicn. Sc
Ihe Le:I ccvice l ccn give ycu, i: Ic give ycur:e|f cci|y c::ignmenI:. Ihing:
|ike recc Ihree chcpIer cf {Lcck: IiI|e)" cr cc cn hcur cf re:ecrch cn
Ihe :uLjecI cf _______" cr wc|k c L|cck fcrIher Ihcn |c:I Iime" ju:I Ic give
ycu :cme icec:. Ihere :hcu|c c|:c Le Iime Ic hcve fun Icc Ihcugh. ln fccI,
l enccurcge ycu Ic hcve fun cI :cme pcinI in ycur ccy. Life wiIhcuI :cme
fun iI in, geI: Lcring cnc cepre::ing cfIer cwhi|e. /fIer c||, if ycure c|:c
u:ing pcrI cf ycur ccy Ic Ircn:iIicn cr Ic imprcve, Ihen Ihere: ncIhing
wrcng, cnc everyIhing righI, cLcuI hcving :cme fun.

Cne cf Ihe mcre pcwerfu| u:e cf mcking /|phc ceci:icn:, pcrIicu|cr|y
curing ycur 8eIc inIc /|phc Ircn:iIicn, i: cecicing YCUF cwn ceci:icn:.

WhcI l mecn i:, cfIen we mcke ceci:icn: Lc:ec cn whcI we Ihink CIHEF
pecp|e wi|| Ihink cLcuI iI. IhcughI: |ike, Wi|| Ihey |ike IhcI icec" cr
Wcu|c Ihey cpprcve cf me mcking Ihi: ceci:icn" cr Wi|| Ihey Ihink Ihi: i:
c cumL icec/ceci:icn" cr Wi|| Ihey Le impre::ec wiIh Ihi:
icec/ceci:icn"

Ihe cL:c|uIe LcIIcm |ine i:, mcke ceci:icn: Lc:ec cn whcI YCU |ike, whcI
YCU cpprcve cf, whcI YCU Ihink i: cumL, whcI YCU cre impre::ec Ly.

GeIIing :cmecne: feecLcck i: ccmp|eIe|y fine, c: |cng c: cny chcnge:
ycu mcke c: c re:u|I cre Leccu:e YCU ccIuc||y :cw |cgic in Iheir
feecLcck, in:Iecc cf mcking chcnge: Leccu:e ycu wcnI Ihem Ic
cpprcve cf ycu cn :cme |eve|.
When iI i: c|| :cic cnc ccne, Ihe /|phc cccepI: Ihe gccc cuIccme: c:
we|| c: Ihe Lcc cuIccme: Leccu:e he/:he chc:e Ic gc fcr iI.
/n /|phc mcke: Lcc chcice:, cnc Lcc ceci:icn:, LuI Ihey cre :Ii|| cn
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/|phc. Mcking c Lcc ceci:icn: i: ncI 8eIc, mcking NC ceci:icn lS Ihcugh.

Ncw IhcI weve gcI Ihe 8eIc inIc /|phc Ircn:iIicn gcing, iI: Iime Ic
ccce|ercIe iI in Ihe nexI chcpIer.







































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Ihe Mosks We Weor ond Ihe ko|es We F|oy



Ycu wecr mc:k:. l ccnI ccre whc ycu cre, ycu DC wecr mc:k:. NcI
mc:k: |ike :uperherce: in Ihe ccmic Lcck: {C| ncyce ycu cc wec| tnc:e
k|nc c| nc:k:. nc ucgnent cgc|n:t ycu ne|e)
/nywcy, Ihe mc:k:" lm Ic|king cLcuI, cre Ihe cne: we wecr"
cepencing cn whcI we cre ccing, cnc whc i: pre:enI cI Ihe Iime.
Ycu wecr c mc:k crcunc wcrk. Ycu wecr c mc:k Lehinc c|c:ec cccr:.
Ycu wecr c mc:k wiIh ycur frienc:. /nc mc:I impcrIcnI|y, ycu wecr c
mc:k crcunc Ihc:e whc inIimiccIe, cr inf|uence ycu, cr empcwer ycu.
Ycu wecr Ihe:e mc:k:" fcr :everc| rec:cn:, Ihe mcin rec:cn Leing c fcrm
cf prcIecIicn. FrcIecIicn, in regcrc Ic keeping c:pecI: cf cur:e|ve: hiccen
frcm :cmecne pecp|e, cuI cf fecr cf Leing jucgec, cr c fecr cf ccming
cff |ccking :i||y, :Ircnge, cr :Iupic. FrcIecIicn frcm :cme pecp|e Iru|y
kncwing u:.

Ihink cLcuI Ihi:...

When ycure cI wcrk, ccing whcIever iI i: ycu cc IhcI ju:Iifie: ycur
pcycheck, ycu hcve Ic Lehcve c cerIcin wcy IhcI i: cccepIcL|e. / wcy
IhcI i: cifferenI Ihcn hcw ycu Lehcve crcunc ycur c|c:e:I frienc:,
Leccu:e hcw ycu Lehcve crcunc tnen mighI Le unprcfe::icnc|" cI
wcrk. /nc Ihe wcy IhcI ycu ccI crcunc ycur frienc:, i: |ike|y cifferenI, even
if ju:I c |iII|e LiI, Ihcn hcw ycu ccI crcunc :cme guy/gir| IhcI ycu hcve c
wcrm cnc fuzzy fee|ing Icwcrc. When in c re|cIicn:hip, ycu ccI cifferenI
crcunc ccmpcny, Ihcn ycu cc when c|cne wiIh ycur |cver.

WhcI l wcnI ycu Ic rec|ize frcm c|| cf Ihi:, i: IhcI virIuc||y every mc:k" ycu
wecr i: :erving c vc|ucL|e purpc:e. /nc much cf whcI mcke: up ecch
mc:k" i: Lc:ec cn exIernc| expecIcIicn:.
8uI ycu neec Ic uncer:Icnc IhcI Ihere i: c cifference LeIween Lehcving
c cerIcin wcy (wec||ng c ce|tc|n nc:k} cue Ic Ihe expecIcIicn: pecp|e
hcve cf ycu, cnc Ihe expecIcIicn: ycu c::une pecp|e hcve cf ycu.

l|| geI Lcck Ic IhcI in c minuIe.

/|cng wiIh Ihe mc:k:" we wecr, Ihere cre Ihe rc|e:" we p|cy. Ycu mighI
Ihink Ihe:e cre Ihe :cme Ihing, LuI Iheyre ncI.
Ihe mc:k: cre hcw we cencve, LuI Ihe rc|e: we p|cy cre Ihe
|e:pcn:|c|||t|e: we hcve whi|e wec||ng Ihe mc:k:.
Fcr excmp|e, :cmecne ccn Lehcve |ike c ccurIecu: cnc frienc|y :c|e:
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per:cn crcunc Iheir Lc::, LuI mighI fee| iI: ncI Iheir re:pcn:iLi|iIy Ic puI up
wiIh c cu:Icmer whc i: u:ing fcu| |cngucge. Mecnwhi|e, :cmecne e|:e
ccn Lehcve |ike cn impcIienI :c|e: per:cn crcunc Iheir Lc::, LuI fee| iI |:
Iheir re:pcn:iLi|iIy Ic puI up wiIh c cu:Icmer whc i: u:ing fcu| |cngucge.

Wnct tne ne|| c|e ycu tc|k|ng cccut. /|cnce|

Ihe ccurIecu:" :c|e: per:cn mighI |cve Ic Ic|k Ic pecp|e, nc mcIIer hcw
Lcring Ihe cu:Icmer i:, yeI cue Ic re|igicu: Le|ief: cr Iheir per:cnc| cpinicn,
Ihey mighI ncI fee| iI: Iheir re:pcn:iLi|iIy Ic Ic|ercIe Leing Ic|kec Ic wiIh
cffen:ive |cngucge.
Ihe impcIienI" :c|e: per:cn mighI wcrk fcr c ccmpcny where cu:Icmer:
wi|| gc cn cnc cn Lefcre geIIing Ic Ihe pcinI, cnc Iheir Lc:: wcnI: Ihem Ic
hcve c mcre cirecI cpprccch, :c c: Ic :peec up Ihe :c|e: prcce::. YeI
cue Ic Ihe pcwer cf c pcIenIic||y high ccmmi::icn if c :pecific :c|e gce:
Ihrcugh, Ihe :c|e: per:cn mighI fee| iI |: Iheir re:pcn:iLi|iIy Ic Ic|ercIe Leing
Ic|kec Ic wiIh fcu| |cngucge.

Ckcy. :c

We||, hcve ycu ever rec||y Icken Ihe Iime Ic pcncer Ihe cn:wer Ic Ihe
ue:Iicn: Wnen cce: |e:pcn:|c|||ty cnc |ec| c| |c||u|e ceccne tne
:cne tn|ng
Ihere cre Ihc:e Iime: when ycur re:pcn:iLi|iIie:" cre c pc:iIive
prcgre::icn Icwcrc :ucce::, cnc Iime: when ycur re:pcn:iLi|iIie:" cre c
fecr cf fci|ure.
lf ycu pcy ycur Li||: cn Iime, i: IhcI c prcgre::icn Icwcrc :ucce::, cr c wcy
Ic cvcic fee|ing fci|ure l: iI c prcgre::icn Icwcrc :ucce:: Ic pcy Ihe
minimum cmcunI cue, cr i: Ihe prcgre::icn Icwcrc :ucce:: when ycu
ccuL|e up cn whcI pcymenI ycu mcke
Ihe cn:wer, i: Lc:ec cn Ihe |eve| cf impcrIcnce ycu cIIcch Ic iI.
Ycu mighI fee|, ne tctc| cc|cnce |:n't nucn. :c |'|| ccuc|e up cn ny
pcynent cnc get |t pc|c c|| :c |t': cne |e:: expen:e.
Cr.
Ycu mighI fee|, ne tctc| cc|cnce |:n't nucn. :c |'|| pcy tne n|n|nun
cncunt cue. :c tnct | ncve nc|e ncney tc :penc cn :cnetn|ng e|:e."

Ihe pcinI i:, Ihe |eve| cf impcrIcnce ycu cIIcch Ic ycur re:pcn:iLi|iIie:"
wi|| cirecI|y cffecI Ihe rc|e IhcI ycu p|cy in |ife. /nc IhcI rc|e wi|| cirecI|y
cffecI Ihe mc:k" ycu wecr. /nc nc Iwc pecp|e cre exccI|y c|ike in Ihe
|eve| cf impcrIcnce Ihey cIIcch, even Ihcugh mcny pecp|e wecr Ihe
:cme mc:k:" in Ihe :cme :iIucIicn:.

8ut ncw |: tn|: |e|ctec tc un|ec:n|ng ny A|pnc
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142



lI: re|cIec, Leccu:e Ihe mc:k" ycu wecr give: pecp|e cn impre::icn cf
whcI kinc cf per:cn ycu cre, cnc Ihe rc|e" ycu p|cy give: pecp|e cn
impre::icn cf ycur mcIivcIicn: cnc inf|uence:. /nc c: ycu hcve |ecrnec
Ly ncw in Ihi: Lcck, impre::icn: cLcuI ycu ccn chcnge wiIh ju:I Ihe mc:I
:uLI|e cf cifference:. Fcr excmp|e, if cI wcrk, ycur Lc:: kncw: ycu c|mc:I
c|wcy: cgree Ic wcrk :cme cne e|:e: :hifI, ycure giving Ihem cn
impre::icn cLcuI ycu. lI mighI Le Ihe impre::icn cf ycu hcving vc|ue Ic
Ihe ccmpcny, cr iI Le Ihe impre::icn IhcI ycure ju:I cn ec:y wcy Ic keep
Ihe :hifI: ccverec. /ncIher excmp|e ccu|c Le, if cmcng ycur frienc:, Ihey
kncw IhcI Ihey ccn Ie|| ycu c :ecreI cnc ycu|| keep iI Ic ycur:e|f. Ihi:
ccu|c give Ihem Ihe impre::icn IhcI ycure c Iru:Iing frienc, cr iI ccn give
Ihem Ihe impre::icn IhcI ycure cn|y cf vc|ue when Ihey neec Ic Ic|k.
My pcinI i:, in crcer Ic fu||y cwcken ycur /|phc, ycu hcve Ic kncw hcw Ic
c|Ier ycur mc:k" cnc ycur rc|e" Ic mcke c :iIucIicn mc:I effecIive.
WhcI l mecn i:, Le iI cI wcrk cr cmcng ycur frienc:, ycu hcve Ic L|enc
ycur mc:k:" cr e|:e ycu Leccme precicIcL|e cnc ycu |c:e ycur pcwer.

Ihi: i: ncI Ic :ugge:I IhcI ycu hcve Ic Le :cmecne ycure ncI. ln:Iecc iI:
c :ugge:Iicn Ic L|enc c:pecI: cf cne mc:k" wiIh Ihe c:pecI: cf cncIher
mc:k" cnc fincing cuI which ccmLincIicn :IcrI: Ic geI ycu LeIIer cnc
LeIIer re:u|I:. Fcr excmp|e, ycu ccu|c Icke Ihe kinc cf humcr ycu hcve c:
pcrI cf Ihe mc:k" ycu wecr crcunc ycur frienc:, cnc L|enc iI wiIh Ihe
pcIienI cnc cIIenIive mc:k" ycu wecr when Ic|king Ic c cu:Icmer, Ic
ccmLine inIc c mc:k" IhcI re:u|I: in mcre prccucIive :c|e: cI ycur jcL.
Hcving Ihi: L|encec mc:k" wi|| hcve Ihe cccec cffecI cf L|encing ycur
rc|e" c: we||.
8uI :ince iI: LeIIer Ic prccIice in privcIe Ihcn Ic u:e Iric| cnc errcr in cn
ccIuc| enccunIer, |eI: cc cn exerci:e.















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143


8u||d|ng An A|pho Fersono||ty, Fort F|ve:
Mosks ond ko|es


Fir:I, |i:I c|| Ihe mc:k:" IhcI ycu wecr" cn c regu|cr Lc:i:. When |i:Iing
Ihem, Le c: ceIci|ec c: ycu ccn cn whcI ycur Lehcvicr, ccIicn:, cnc
mcIivcIicn: cre when ycu cre wecring" Ihem. U:e ycur jcurnc|, cr Ihe
:pcce prcvicec Le|cw Ic wriIe Ihem cuI.


Work Mosk

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________


Fr|ends Mosk

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________


Lover Mosk

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________


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144


Fom||y Mosk

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________


Ncw, |eI: geI inIc Ihe rc|e:" ycu p|cy in ecch cne. FememLer, Ihe rc|e"
mecn: whcI ycu fee| i: ycur re:pcn:iLi|iIy whi|e wecring" Ihe mc:k."


Work ko|e

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Fr|ends ko|e

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________


Lover ko|e

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

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145



________________________________________________________________________


Fom||y ko|e

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Exce||enIl Ncw fcr :cme LeI: FreIenc."


1) U:ing whcI ycuve wriIIen ccwn, Icke cn c:pecI cf cne mc:k" cnc
rep|cce iI wiIh c: c:pecI frcm cncIher mc:k."

2) lmcgine hcw IhcI fee|: if ycu were cuI Ihere wecring" iI ncw.

3) CcnIinue Ic rep|cce c:pecI frcm cne mc:k" wiIh cncIher, unIi| ycu
finc cne IhcI :eem: Ic fee| |ike c nice L|enc.

4) Hcving fcunc c nice L|enc, ncIice whcI chcnge: {if cny) Ihi: mcke: Ic
ycur rc|e" {ycur re:pcn:iLi|iIie:), Ihen rep|cce Ihe mc:k" c:pecI ycu
u:ec if Ihi: rc|e" cce: ncI fee| gccc Ic ycu.

5) FepecI :Iep: 1 Ihrcugh 4 unIi| ycu hcve fcunc cn cccepIcL|e L|enc
wiIh c|| cf ycur mc:k:" cnc rc|e:."










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146


Homer's Ch|mero




Nc, l ccnI mecn Hcmer Simp:cn, l mecn Hcmer Ihe phi|c:cpher, whc
wrcIe l|icc." ln Lcck Vl cf l|icc" Hcmer Ic|kec cLcuI c crecIure cc||ec
Chimerc {cr c: iI i: in Ihe Lcck, Khimcirc). /cccrcing Ic Hcmer, Ihe
Chimerc hcc Ihe hecc cf c |icn, Ihe Lccy cf c gccI, cnc Ihe Ici| cf c
:erpenI {we||, Iechnicc||y iI :cy: :ncke in Ihe Lcck, LuI l |ike Ihe wcrc
:erpenI LeIIer).

l wcnI Ic Icke Ihi: myIhicc| crecIure, cnc u:e iI c: c meIcphcr. Cne which
repre:enI: Ihe Ihree pcrI: cf whc ecch cf u: cre.


IHE HE/D CF / LlCN

Licn: cre ccn:icerec Ihe King cf Ihe Jung|e." LeI: Lcrrcw IhcI, cnc :cy
IhcI Ihi: hecc cf c |icn repre:enI: Ihe YCU IhcI ycu fee| i: Ihe Le:I IhcI ycu
ccn Le righI ncw. Ihi: i: why ycu :cy whcI ycu :cy, Lehcve Ihe wcy ycu
Lehcve, cnc cc Ihe Ihing: IhcI ycu cc.
/: ycu grcw {|n kncw|ecge. nct pny:|cc||y) ycu Leccme mcre cnc mcre
IhcI King" {c| Cueen || ycu c|e |enc|e) cf ycur cwn per:cnc| Jung|e."
Ycu Leccme Ihi:, Ly hcving new Le|ief:, Icking new pcIh:, Irying new
Ihing:, eIc. Sc IhcI Licn" i: c|wcy: YCU, iI ju:I Leccme: :Ircnger. Ihe mcre
fierce" ycur Licn" Ihe mcre ycu cverccme whcI ycu hcve ncI
cverccme in Ihe pc:I. {8y F|e|ce | cn NC tc|k|ng cccut cnge|. cut
|ctne| cccut :e||-ccn||cence cnc :e||-ccnt|c|.)

IHE 8CDY CF / GC/I

Ihi: Lccy" repre:enI: ycur in:ecuriIie:, Ihe ccuLI: IhcI ycu hcve cLcuI
whcI ycu ccn cnc ccn ncI per:cnc||y cchieve. 8uI iI: ncI Ihe in:ecuriIie:
IhcI ycu neec Ic chcnge. lI: whcI ycu DC wiIh Ihc:e in:ecuriIie: IhcI i:
impcrIcnI. We c|| hcve ccuLI: cnc in:ecuriIie:, every :ing|e cne cf u:. lf
we cicnI, Ihen wec hcve nc fecr. /nc fecr ccn Le in cur Le:I inIere:I,
:cmeIime:.
Sc l hcpe Ly ncw, ycuve |ecrnec hcw Ic finc Ihe vc|ue in ycur
in:ecuriIie:, ycur Lccy cf c gccI," cnc cre fincing wcy: Ic u:e Ihe energy
frcm iI Ic pcwer Ihe cirecIicn ycu Icke.

IHE I/lL CF / SEFFENI
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147



Since Ihe Ici| i: in Ihe Lcck cf Ihe Lccy, |eI: :cy IhcI Ihi: :erpenI" i: Ihe
Lec:I IhcI i: in Ihe Lcck cf ycur MlND. Since ycu cre c humcn Leing, ycu
hcve c ccrk :ice" cr c :ice cf ycu IhcI cce: cnc :cy: Ihing: ycu regreI
|cIer. 8y uncer:Icncing IhcI Ihi: :erpenI" exi:I: wiIhin ycu, cnc c|:c
uncer:Icncing IhcI iI i: Ihere fcr c FE/SCN, ycu ccn LeIIer Legin Ic u:e iI
in ccn:IrucIive wcy:, in:Iecc cf ce:IrucIive wcy:.

l rec|ize c|| cf Ihi: :eem very cver:imp|ifiec, LuI :Icy wiIh me, were gcing
Ic mcke Ihi: funl

Fire ccme frcm Ihe Chimerc: mcuIh (We||. tne ccck :cy: |t vcn|tec |||e.
cut tne |ncge c| tnct ncke: ne wcnt tc puke. wn|cn ccu|c ccu:e ycu tc
c|cw cnunk:. :c |et': :t|ck w|tn |||e ccn|ng ||cn |t': ncutn. Fc||
encugn}
/nywcy, fire i: LcIh c gccc cnc c Lcc Ihing, cepencing cn hcw ycu u:e
iI. Fire ccn Le u:ec Ic ccmcge, cnc fire ccn Le u:ec Ic ce:Ircy. Fire ccn
Le u:ec Ic wcrm ycu frcm Ihe cc|c, cnc fire ccn Le u:ec Ic ccck fccc
IhcI :u:Icin: ycur |ife.
Sc when ycu rec||y Ihink cLcuI iI, Ihe fire" IhcI ccme: frcm ycur mcuIh,
Ihe wcrc: IhcI ycu :cy, ccn Le u:ec Ic ce:Ircy, Ic wcrm, cr Ic :u:Icin
:cmeIhing.
lI: c|| in hcw ycu u:e iI.
Since ycu hcve c Lrcin, cnc ycu hcve inIenI, ycu KNCW whcI purpc:e
ycu wcnI ycur wcrc: Ic :erve. l mecn, un|e:: ycu hcve IcurreIIe Syncrcme
(c c|:c|ce| wne|e c pe|:cn nc:. cncng ctne| tn|ng:. c vccc| t|c c| ce|ng
ccnpe||ec tc c|u|t cut wc|c:} ycu KNCW whcI ycu wcnI ycur wcrc: Ic
ccnvey.
/: :uch, ycu wcnI Ic Leccme very cwcre cf which pcrI cf ycur per:cnc|
Chimerc" i: ccing Ihe Ic|king. ln cIher wcrc:, i: ycur gccI" Ic|king lf :c,
Ihen ycur vcice i: gcing Ic ref|ecI IhcI, cnc Ihu:, iI wi|| inf|uence hcw Ihe
per:cn ycu cre Ic|king Ic, reccI:. Ihe :cme i: Irue if ycur :erpenI" i: where
ycur wcrc: cre ccming frcm. Ihe icec| p|cce fcr ycur wcrc: Ic Le ccming
frcm Ihcugh, i: cf ccur:e, frcm ycur |icn" {wn|cn |'|| c|:c cc||. ycu| cu||ent
ccn||cent :e||).

Ckcy, ncw IhcI l hcve :hcrec my meIcphcricc| ver:icn cf YCU. LeI: hcve
:cme fun wiIh iIl





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148


8u||d|ng An A|pho Fersono||ty, Fort S|x:
IHE CHIMEkA EXEkCISE


Icke cuI c piece cf pcper {cr u:e c L|cnk pcge in ycur Jcurnc|, if ycu
hcve cne) cnc cc Ihe fc||cwing:

1.
WriIe cuI CNLY Ihe |icn" c:pecI: cf ycur:e|f. Ihc:e c:pecI: cf ycu IhcI cre
:imp|y hcw ycu currenI|y cre, which cfIen geI ycu re:u|I: IhcI ycu |ike.
/:pecI: IhcI cre /LFE/DY whc ycu cre, NCI c:pecI: ycu wi:h were whc
ycu cre.
Fcr excmp|e, ycu mighI |i:I Ihing: |ike cpprccchcL|e" cr gccc
ccmmuniccIcr" cr :IuLLcrn."
Icke cLcuI 10 minuIe:, minimum, cnc wriIe c|| Ihe cne: ycu ccn Ihink cf
cI Ihi: Iime.
Cnce IhcI: ccne, mcve cn Ic...

2.
WiIh E/CH CNE YCU WFCIE CUI, Ihink cLcuI c SFEClFlC IlME when IhcI
c:pecI gcI ycu c re:u|I IhcI ycu |ike.
Here: c per:cnc| excmp|e frcm me:
l |i:I Gccc memcry" c: c |icn" c:pecI cf my:e|f.
/ SFEClFlC Iime IhcI c:pecI hcc fcvcrcL|e re:u|I:, i: when l wc: wcrking
:ecuriIy cI c FccIcry CuI|eI Mc||, cnc l rememLerec c few week: |cIer
whcI :cmecne hcc :cic Ic Ihe mcncger cf c pcrIicu|cr :Icre . My recc|| cf
whcI IhcI per:cn hcc :cic, re:u|Iec in :cmecne: jcL Leing :cvec. IhcI
wc: c re:u|I IhcI l |ikec.

Icke ecch c:pecI IhcI ycu wrcIe, Ihink cLcuI c :pecific Iime when IhcI
c:pecI gcI c re:u|I IhcI ycu |ikec, cnc wriIe iI cuI in c: much ceIci| c: ycu
ccn. CcnIinue when ycu hcve fini:hec Ihem c||.

3.
WriIe cuI CNLY Ihe gccI" c:pecI: cf whc ycu cre. Ihi: mecn: IhcI ycu
wcnI Ic wriIe cuI Ihe in:ecuriIie: IhcI ycu hcve. Fcr excmp|e, ycu mighI
wriIe NcI ccnfrcnIcIicnc|" cr lnIimiccIec Ly cuIhcriIy" cr :ccrec cf
rc||er ccc:Ier:." Icke cncIher 10 minuIe:, minimum, Ic wriIe cuI c: mcny
c: ycu ccn Ihink cf.
Cnce IhcI: ccne, mcve cn Ic...

4.
WiIh E/CH CNE YCU WFCIE CUI, Ihink cLcuI c SFEClFlC IlME when IhcI
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149


c:pecI encec up Leing c gccc Ihing.
Cnce cgcin, here i: c per:cnc| excmp|e frcm cn in:ecuriIy l u:ec Ic hcve.
l |i:Iec lnIimiccIec Ly LecuIifu| wcmen" cI cne Iime, c: c gccI" c:pecI
cf my:e|f. /nc c SFEClFlC IlME IhcI encec up Leing c gccc Ihing, wc:
when l wc: wc|king ccwn c :IreeI cne ccy, cnc l :cw Ihi: cmczing
|ccking rechecc. l IhcughI l hcc nc chcnce wiIh her, :c l cicnI even
cpprccch her. lI Iurnec cuI Ic Le c gccc Ihing, Leccu:e cI crcunc Ihe
Iime l wcu|c hcve Leen cpprccching her, c ccr crcve Ly, hiI c pucc|e,
cnc wcu|c hcve gcIIen me c: :cckec c: iI gcI her.

Icke ecch c:pecI IhcI ycu wrcIe, Ihink cLcuI c :pecific Iime when IhcI
c:pecI encec up Leing c gccc Ihing, cnc wriIe iI cuI in c: much ceIci| c:
ycu ccn. CcnIinue when ycu hcve fini:hec Ihem c||.

5.
WriIe cuI c|| Ihe :erpenI" c:pecI: cf ycur:e|f. 8E 8FUI/LLY HCNESI WlIH
YCUFSELF. /gcin, Icke cLcuI 10 minuIe: Ic wriIe Ihem c|| cuI. Fcr
excmp|e, ycu mighI wriIe Lcw Ic|ercnce fcr :Iupic pecp|e" cr pick cn
pecp|e :mc||er Ihcn me" cr l :Iec| pen: frcm wcrk."
Cnce ycu hcve Ihem c|| wriIIen ccwn, ccnIinue Ic...

.
Icke ecch cne, cnc Ihink cf c SFEClFlC IlME when iI wc: c gccc Ihing,
cnc cncIher Iime when iI wc: c Lcc Ihing. Mcke :ure Ic cc c gccc" cnc
c Lcc" fcr ecch cne.
When ycu hcve ccne Ihem c||, cc Ihe finc| :Iep...

7.
Icke CNE c:pecI frcm ycur Licn" cne frcm ycur GccI" cnc cne frcm
ycur SerpenI" cnc finc c grcuping IhcI, when puI IcgeIher, wcu|c |ike|y
prccuce cn inIere:Iing re:u|I. Ihen imcgine, in ceIci|, whcI cne cf Ihe
inIere:Iing re:u|I: ccu|c Le.
Dc Ihi: unIi| c|| cf ycur c:pecI: hcve grcuping:, even if ycu enc up hcving
Ic reu:e cn c:pecI frcm cne grcuping fcr cncIher grcuping.
Fcr excmp|e, ycu mighI |i:I LikecL|e" wiIh Sccrec cf ccnfrcnIcIicn:" cnc
ShcrI Ic|ercnce fcr pecp|e whc ccnI geI Ic Ihe pcinI."
Cr, CcnficenI crcunc cLncxicu: pecp|e" wiIh ln:ecure Ic|king Ic
cIIrccIive pecp|e" cnc Like Ic mcke fun cf pecp|e wiIh cccenI:."
Ycu geI iI Ihe pcinI here, i: Ic geI ycu u:ec Ic Icking c:pecI cf YCU IhcI
c|reccy exi:I, cnc crrcigning Ihem in wcy: ycu mcy ncI hcve ccne in rec|
|ife. /: ycu gc Ihrcugh Ihe cIher exerci:e:, cnc finc ycur:e|f grcwing cnc
chcnging, Ihe Ihing: ycu wriIe ccwn when ccing Ihi: exerci:e in Ihe
fuIure, wi|| chcnge. WiIh chcnge, ccme: cifferenI re:u|I:, cnc frcm IhcI
ccme: cIher chcnge:, cnc :c cn.
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Mentors ond Med|tot|ons




When iI ccme: Ic |ecrning, iI: :Ircng|y ccvi:ec IhcI ycu finc c menIcr.
When iI ccme: Ic |iving, iI: :Ircng|y ccvi:ec IhcI ycu finc c meciIcIicn.

8uI whcI cc Ihe:e Iwc Ihing: hcve cI c|| in ccmmcn

Ihe cn:wer i:, Ihey LcIh prcvice cn cmczing energy wiIhin ycur:e|f. Ihey
cre c|:c LcIh c :curce fcr cc|m wiIhin Ihe chcc: in ycur |ife. Hcving c
menIcr cc|m: ycu Ihrcugh Ihe hcpe IhcI per:cn Lring:. Hcpe IhcI ycu
ccn |ecrn :cmeIhing, gcin :cmeIhing, cnc ccccmp|i:h :cmeIhing.
MeciIcIicn cc|m: ycu Ihrcugh fccu:ing cn :cmeIhing cIher Ihcn Ihe
prcL|em: cnc cifficu|Iie: in ycur cci|y |ife.
Ycu cc c fcrm cf meciIcIicn c|reccy, cc||ec ccycrecming." Sc ccnI
pcnic cnc cIIcch negcIive fee|ing: Icwcrc Ihe wcrc meciIcIicn." /||
meciIcIicn i:, i: cn c|Ierec :IcIe cf minc. When ycu :|eep, ycure in cn
c|Ierec :IcIe cf minc. When ycu L|cnk cuI cn cn impcrIcnI Ie:I cr |ecIure,
ycure in cn c|Ierec :IcIe cf minc. When ycu wcIch c rec||y gccc mcvie,
ycure in cn c|Ierec :IcIe cf minc.
Ihe meciIcIicn:, Ihe c|Ierec :IcIe: cf minc IhcI l|| Le Ic|king cLcuI in Ihi:
chcpIer, cre ce:ignec Ic ccu:e c :pecific c|Ierec :IcIe. Ihere: nc pcinI
in c|Iering ycur :IcIe cf minc cnc Ihen ju:I |eIIing iI wcncer |cc:e, righI
lI mcke: mcre :en:e Ic give iI c cirecIicn, cne which i: cf LenefiI cnc
p|ec:ure fcr ycu, righI

/nc :ince l hcve nc inIere:I in cffencing cnycne: re|igicu: Le|ief:, l cm in
nc wcy :ugge:Iing IhcI ycu cevicnI frcm whcIever ycur per:cnc| Le|ief:
cre. ln:Iecc, l hcve cn inIere:I in enhcncing ycur :piriIuc| experience:,
cnc wi|| Le :ugge:Iing wcy: Ic geI cn enhcncemenI IhcI ccc: Ic
whcIever Le|ief: ycu c|reccy hcve.

Feccy

Fir:I cf c||, whcIever ycur gcc|: in |ife cre, ycu wi|| cn|y cchieve Ihem Ly
hcving c menIcr {cr :everc| menIcr:, if ycu hcve Ihe cmLiIicn). We c||
mu:I Le|ieve in :cmeIhing, cnc we mu:I c|| Le|ieve in :cnecne.
Ihe fir:I per:cn ycu :hcu|c fir:I Le|ieve in, i: ycur:e|f. lf ycu ccnI Le|ieve in
ycur:e|f, ycu wi|| :eccnc gue:: ycur mc:I impcrIcnI ceci:icn: cnc chcice:,
ncI Ic menIicn ccuLI Ihe vc|ue cf ycur cwn icenIiIy. 8uI iI ccn :cmeIime:
Le c chc||enge Ic Le|ieve in ycur:e|f. E:pecic||y if ycu fccu: cn whcI hc:
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ncI wcrkec cuI in ycur |ife, cr whcI hc: gcne wrcng" in ycur |ife.
8uI l wcu|c hcpe Ly Ihi: :Icge cf Ihe Lcck, ycuve ccme Ic rec|ize IhcI
Ihere cre nc wrcng" Ihing: IhcI hcppen in ycur |ife, ju:I Ihing: IhcI were
ncI whcI ycu expecIec cr preferrec.
Ihe very fccI IhcI ycu Icck Ihe Iime cnc ccIicn Ic purchc:e cnc recc Ihi:
Lcck, :hcw: IhcI ycu mu:I Le|ieve in ycur:e|f cI |ec:I c |iII|e LiI. /nc c |iII|e
LiI i: :cmeIhing, iI ccn Le u:ec Ic Lui|c Ihe you IhcI wi|| mc:I fu|fi|| Ihe |ife
ycure in. Sc cckncw|ecge ycur:e|f fcr Ihi: |iII|e LiI" IhcI ycuve
ccccmp|i:hec, Leccu:e mi||icn: cf cIher: hcve ncI even |eI Ihem:e|ve:
Le|ieve even tnct much in Ihem:e|ve:.

Cnce ycu hcve cccepIec Le|ieving in ycur:e|f, iI i: Iime Ic finc c menIcr
{cr menIcr:). /nc whi|e ycu mighI c|reccy hcve :cmecne, cr c few
:cmecne: in minc, Le :ure IhcI ycu cre chcc:ing c menIcr cnc ncI
:cmecne ycu ju:I wi:h ycu ccu|c Le. / menIcr i: ncI :cmecne ycu wi:h
ycu were, c menIcr i: :cmecne ycu wi:h ycu hcc Ihe cLi|iIy Ic Le |ike.
Fic ycur minc cf Ihinking, Gee, l wi:h l ccu|c Le IH/I per:cn fcr c week."
ln:Iecc, c:k ycur:e|f Ihe ue:Iicn, WhcI i: iI :pecificc||y cLcuI IhcI per:cn
l wi:h l ccu|c Le mcre |ike" ln cIher wcrc:, whcI chcrccIeri:Iic: cc tney
hcve, IhcI ycu wcu|c |ike Ic hcve
WhcI :ki||: cc Ihey hcve, IhcI mcke ycu wcnI Ic hcve Ihc:e kinc cf :ki||:
l: Ihere cnyIhing cLcuI Ihem IhcI ycu wcu|c ncI wcnI Ic Le |ike
/nyIhing cI c|| Ihere LeIIer Le cI |ec:I cne cr Iwc Ihing: cLcuI Ihem
IhcI ycu wcu|c ncI ccre Ic emu|cIe.
l|| :hcre c per:cnc| excmp|e, :c ycu uncer:Icnc my pcinI LeIIer.
Dc ycu kncw whc /nIhcny FcLLin: i: Hcw cLcuI Dcnc|c Irump
/nIhcny FcLLin: i: fcmcu: fcr hi: Fer:cnc| Fcwer" prccucI: cnc
:emincr:, cnc ycu ccn |ike|y ccIch hi: infcmercic| cn cny given nighI.
Dcnc|c Irump i: fcmcu: fcr, we||, hi: egc, LuI c|:c fcr hi: grcnc Lui|cing:
cnc ncw IV Fec|iIy :hcw.
8cIh cf Ihe:e guy: were pecp|e l chc:e c: menIcr:, fcr cifferenI rec:cn:.
Mr. FcLLin: l hcve hcc Ihe |uxury cf meeIing cnc Ic|king Ic, Mr. Irump l
re:ecrchec cnc recc hi: Lcck: cnc pcic cIIenIicn Ic hi: Icpec inIerview:.
Frcm Mr. FcLLin:, l |ikec hi: energy, hi: pc::icn fcr whcI he Le|ievec in, hi:
cmLiIicn cnc hi: crive. 8uI l cicnI |ike hi: gccc Lcy" per:cnc|iIy. l prefer
my cwn per:cnc|iIy, :c l mcce nc effcrI: Ic emu|cIe hi:.
Frcm Mr. Irump, l |ikec hcw he mcvec Ihrcugh Ihe wcr|c wiIhcuI
cpc|cgie: Ic cnycne fcr hi: Lehcvicr, cnc hi: cLi|iIy Ic imcgine Lig cnc
crecIe even Ligger. 8uI l cicnI |ike hi: egc, l fee| iI: ncI Ihe kinc cf egc l
wcnI.
Sc l Lcrrcwec" frcm Ihe:e Iwc genI|emen Ihe Ihing: l wcnIec Ic
inIegrcIe inIc my cwn |ife, cnc Ic::ec cuI Ihe re:I. 8cIh cre increciL|y
:ucce::fu|, ncI Ic menIicn very wec|Ihy, LuI neiIher cf Ihem i: cnycne l
wcu|c ever wcnI Ic Le c c|cne" cf. l wcu|cnI wcnI Ic Le Iheir c|cne"
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Leccu:e lm ncI Ihem. l hcve cifferenI cpinicn: Ihen Ihey cc, cnc l prefer
iI IhcI wcy. l hcve cifferenI experience: Ihcn Ihey cc, :c my rec|iIy" i:
cifferenI. l hcve cifferenI memcrie: Ihcn Ihey cc, cifferenI pcrenI: cnc
peer:, cifferenI in:pircIicn: cnc c:pircIicn:. Sc even if l cic everyIhing
exccI|y |ike Ihey cc, l ccu|c never Le ju:I |ike Ihem cnywcy. Nc Iwc
rec|iIie:" hc: ever Leen exccI|y Ihe :cme, c: ycu c|reccy recc frcm cn
ecr|ier chcpIer in Ihi: Lcck.
ln :hcrI, l wc: :mcrI encugh Ic kncw IhcI nc Iwc pecp|e ccn ever pc::iL|y
Le exccI|y c|ike, cnc l wc: :mcrI encugh Ic wcnI my cwn icenIiIy.
/fIer c||, if ycu cccpI :cmecne e|:e: icenIiIy, Ihen Iechnicc||y ycu cec:e
Ic exi:I. /nc why wcu|c ycu wcnI Ic Le :cmecne e|:e, in:Iecc cf Leing
Ihe Le:I you IhcI i: pc::iL|e
Sc when ycu finc c menIcr, :cmecne wiIh cLi|iIie:/chcrccIer
IrciI:/ccccmp|i:hmenI: IhcI ycu wcu|c |ike Ic hcve, Le :mcrI encugh Ic
Lcrrcw" cnc ncI Iry Ic Leccme." Cnce ycu |ecrn hcw Ihey cic whcI
Ihey cic, cc whcI Ihey cc, cr why Ihey Le|ieve whcI Ihey Le|ieve, ycu
ccn Lcrrcw" IhcI cnc finc c wcy Ic mcke iI wcrk in ycur |ife. Wcrk in
wcy: IhcI fiI wiIh whc ycu cre Leccming, ncI fcrcec Ic fiI. When ycu fcrce
ycur:e|f Ic cc :cmeIhing IhcI inIernc||y ccnf|icI: wiIh ycur :e|f-imcge,
ycure engcging in c Iug cf wcr wiIh ycur:e|f fcr vicIcry, cnc iI: cn|y
gcing Ic enc in fru:IrcIicn cr c fcr |e:: rewcrcing re:u|I Ihcn ycu ccIuc||y
wcnIec.
lI: euc||y pc::iL|e ycu|| |ecrn Ihing: cLcuI ycur menIcr IhcI ccu:e ycu
Ic :ee Ihem in c |e:: fcvcrcL|e |ighI. ln which cc:e ycu hcve Ic figure cuI
if ycu :Ii|| wcnI Ic Le |ike Ihem, cr if ycu wcnI Ic finc c mcre fcvcrcL|e
wcy cf emu|cIing whcI Ihey pc::e::, cr if ycu wcnI Ic finc c cifferenI
menIcr.
Nc cne mcn cr wcmcn hc|c: c|| Ihe cn:wer: fcr ycu. Nc mcIIer hcw grecI
Ihey cre in Iheir pcrIicu|cr fie|c cf :ki||, Ihey cre ncI Ihe cn|y {cnc mcyLe
ncI even Ihe Le:I) :curce fcr |ecrning. DcnI |eI ycur:e|f geI ccughI in Ihe
Ircp cf Le|ieving cny CNE per:cn: wcy cf :eeing Ihing:. Ihere cre mcny,
mcny, vc|ucL|e pecp|e ycu ccn |ecrn frcm, :c ccnI ju:I fc||cw cne
per:cn in cny cne crec cf :ki||. Dc fc||cw CNE per:cn, i: hcw cu|I: geI
:IcrIec cnc grcw. 8uI l|| c::ume ycuc never |eI IhcI hcppen.
Word o| odv|ce: lf c menIcr hc: Ic verLc||y Le|iII|e/ci:creciI everycne whc
i: ccmpeIiIicn {cr pc::iL|e ccmpeIiIicn) Ic Ihem, finc cncIher menIcrl Finc
cncIher menIcr, Leccu:e he/:he i: cIIempIing Ic ccrrupI ycur view" :c
IhcI ycu wi|| cn|y :ee Ihe view" Ihey wcnI ycu Ic :ee. /ncIher cu|I IccIic.
{8e cwcre IhcI ncI c|| cu|I:" cre Ihe mc:: :uicice" vcrieIy. Mc:I cf Ihem
ccIuc||y |ecc very re:pecIcL|e |ive:. lI: ju:I IhcI Ihey c|| hcve :cme kinc
cf |eccer" IhcI Ihey cccepI c: Ihe cn|y Irue cuIhcriIy in c given fie|c)

Sc finc c menIcr, |ecrn frcm him/her, ccc :cme cf Iheir Iecching Ic ycur
|ife, Ihen finc cIher menIcr: cnc ccnIinue Ihe cyc|e.
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/|righI, ncw fcr Ihe meciIcIicn" pcrI cf Ihi: chcpIer.

Nc mcIIer whc ycu cre, nc mcIIer whcI ycu cc, Ihere cre Iime: when ycu
neec c Lreck. /nc iI: ncI c Lreck c: in, lm gcnnc Lreck hi: neckl" lI: c
Lreck c: in, GcIhering my IhcughI: cnc re|cxing."
Mcny pecp|e view meciIcIicn c: if iI hc: :cme kinc cf cemcnic
ccnnecIicn, cr invc|ve: wiIchcrcfI. 8uI even in c|| Ihe kncwn re|igicn: i: c
Iecching cf meciIcIicn. Scme cf Ihem ju:I hcve cncIher ncme fcr iI,
prcyer."
Ihink cLcuI IhcIl
/ per:cn :iI:, c|c:e: Iheir eye:, cnc :peck: Ic c fcrce IhcI cc|m: Ihem cnc
whcm Ihey |cck Ic fcr pecce in Iheir |ife. When Ihey cpen Iheir eye:, Ihey
fee| LeIIer. IH/IS MEDlI/IlCNl
Sc ycu :ee, iI: ncIhing evi|, ncr wi|| iI cnger whichever Gcc/DeiIy ycu
per:cnc||y Le|ieve in.
ln my cpinicn, meciIcIicn i: e::enIic| Ic cur emcIicnc| cnc phy:icc| we||
Leing. l hcve Leen meciIcIing cci|y fcr :everc| yecr: ncw, cnc iI hc:
prcven Ic me Ic Le cn cmczing wcy Ic reenergize my:e|f, re|cx my:e|f,
:crI Ihrcugh Ihe Iric|: cnc chc||enge: in my |ife, cnc mc:I impcrIcnI cf c||,
kick :IcrI my :uLccn:cicu: inIc fccu:ing cn :c|uIicn:.
Sc if Ihe:e cre Ihing: ycu wcnI, l :ugge:I |ccking inIc geIIing c Lcck, Icpe,
cnc cucic cn meciIcIicn. Shcp crcunc, finc cne {cr c few) IhcI rec||y
inIere:I ycu.
Ihere cre mcny cifferenI kinc: cf wcy: Ic meciIcIe. 8uI Ihe wcy IhcI l |ike
Ic meciIcIe, i: Ly ccing whcI l cc|| :e|f-guicec vi:uc| ccvenIure:."
Ihe wcy IhcI wcrk:, i: Ic |cy ccwn, eye: c|c:ec, cnc imcgine :cmeIhing
ycuc rec||y enjcy. /nc c: ycure imcgining iI, ycu ncrrcIe whcI: gcing
cn, |ike ycure Ie||ing ycur:e|f c :Icry cLcuI ycu|:e|| ccing whcI ycure
imcgining.

lI mighI :eem weirc Ic cc cI fir:I, LuI when ycu :Icp cnc ccn:icer IhcI ycu
ccycrecm c|| Ihe Iime cnywcy, Ihi: i:nI very cifferenI frcm IhcI.

Sc here: c meciIcIicn :ugge:Iicn. 8y nc mecn: :hcu|c iI Le ycur cn|y
meciIcIicn, LuI Ihi: cne wi|| geI ycu :IcrIec.

1) FuI cn :cme mu:ic IhcI i: :ccIhing cr IhcI ycure cL|e Ic re|cx Ic.
{lf ycu ccnI hcve c :Ierec, u:e ycur Emc:ic.")

2) Lcy ccwn :cmewhere, |ike ycur Lec cr cn Ihe ccuch, wherever ycu
ccn |cy ccmp|eIe|y cuI ccmfcrIcL|y.

3) C|c:e ycur eye:

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4) Ihink cf ycur icec| ccy cff cnc whcI ycu wcu|c cc cn :uch c ccy. Ihink
cf very :pecific ceIci|: {Like: l wcu|c Icke c |cng :ccIhing :hcwer fcr 20
minuIe:...Ihen cfIer l Icwe|ec my:e|f cff cnc gcI cre::ec, l wcu|c mcke
my:e|f c nice pcI cf French vcni||c ccffee...cnc c: l :cI cn my Lc|ccny, l
wcu|c crink my ccffee, c: l |i:Ienec Ic :cme MczcrI, cnc cecice where
l wcnI Ic gc Ic fcr |unch..." GeI Ihe icec)

5) Dc Ihi: fcr 10-15 minuIe:. {20-30 if pc::iL|e)

Dc Ihi: cI |ec:I cnce every cIher ccy. Ycu wi|| finc IhcI, even cfIer Ihe very
fir:I Iime ycu cc Ihi: meciIcIicn, ycu wi|| |iIerc||y fee| :cme |eve| cf
imprcvemenI in ycur Lccy, cnc mc:I cf c||, in ycur minc.























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Ihe Story o| Lee



Ncw lm gcing Ic Ie|| ycu cne |c:I :Icry.
lI i: c Irue :Icry, cnc iI c ve|y |cng cne. 8uI cne IhcI l fee| i: nece::cry in iI:
ceIci|, fcr ycu Ic geI Ihe fu|| cffecI l cm ciming fcr.
l purpc:efu||y mcce Lee: gencer cmLigucu:, Leccu:e l wcnI iI Ic Le
cpprecicIec Ly LcIh mc|e cnc femc|e reccer:.

Hcw ycu fee|, Ly Ihe enc cf Ihi: chcpIer, mighI eiIher infuricIe ycu,
pcwerfu||y in:pire ycu, cr mcke ycu :ee Ihing: c whc|e |cI cifferenI|y Ihcn
ycu hcve up Ic ncw. Cr, c: c|| Ihing: cre pc::iL|e, ycu mighI ncI Le
cffecIec Ly Ihe :Icry cI c||.

IhcI ncw :cic, here: Ihe :Icry...

Ihe :Icry Legin: in Ec:I /|Icn, l||inci:.
Cnce upcn c Iime, c ycung wcmcn ncmec Scncrc meI c guy ncmec
Jim. 8cIh were ncI even 21 cI Ihe Iime Ihey gcI mcrriec, cnc Ihing: were
ncI c hcppi|y ever cfIer" Ic|e Ly cny mecn:. Fcr cne Ihing, Scncrc hcc
:cme ccmp|iccIicn:, when iI ccme Ic hcving c LcLy. Sc much :c, IhcI
DccIcr: Ic|c her iI wcu|c Le c cne in c mi||icn chcnce if :he ever gcve
LirIh Ic c chi|c.
lmcgine, Leing c wcmcn, whc wcnIec c chi|c :c much, LuI ncIure
wc:nI cccpercIing.
Cne in c mi||icn chcnce.
/nc whi|e Friccy Ihe 13Ih mcy Le c Lcc ccy Ic mcny, Mcrch 13Ih wc:
Ihe |uckie:I ccy cf Scncrc: |ife. 8eccu:e cn IhcI ccy, :he LecI Ihe ccc:,
cnc gcve LirIh Ic her cne in c mi||icn chi|c.
Jim cicnI |ike Ihe ncme Scncrc hcc chc:en fcr Iheir chi|c, :c iI gcI
chcngec. IhcI chi|c, wc: Lee.
Hcving Leen Lcrn cfIer Ihe mcrricge cf Lee': pcrenI: hcc c|reccy
ci::c|vec, iI wc: ju:I Lee cnc Mcm Ic mcke up c fcmi|y.
Ihe fir:I few mcnIh: were rcugh, LuI wiIh Scncrc: mcm he|ping, :he cnc
Lee gcI Ly ju:I encugh.
Lee: mcm cnc ccc hcc kncwn :cme frienc: in Cc|ifcrnic, :c Scncrc
cecicec Ic Icke her cnc LcLy Lee cuI We:I.
Lee: mcm |cccec up Ihe ccr, wiIh LcLy Lee prcppec up cn :cme
pi||cw: in Ihe pc::enger: :ice :ecI, cnc cff Ihey wenI Ic Cc|ifcrnic.
Scncrc wc: :ccrec, very :ccrec, LuI c|:c hcpefu| IhcI c uc|iIy |ife ccu|c
Le fcunc in Cc|ifcrnic fcr her cnc LcLy Lee.
Ihe Iime: were |ecn, LuI Ihey mcce iI, ju:I Ihe Iwc cf Ihem.
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Fcr Ihe fir:I few yecr: cf Lee: |ife, Scncrc cic whcI :he ccu|c Ic mcke
enc: meeI, cnc keep Lee fec, even if Scncrc her:e|f hcc Ic :kip c mec|
here cnc Ihere.

Ihen cne ccy, Scncrc meI c guy ncmec Dcn.
EvenIuc||y, Scncrc cnc Dcn mcvec in IcgeIher.
Ncw iI wc: Scncrc, Lee, cnc Dcn.
8uI :ince rec|iIy i: ncI cfIen whcI ycu :ee cn Ie|evi:icn, Ihere wc: c|:c c
|iII|e mcIIer cf Dcn c|:c hcving c chi|c, ncmec Wi||icm.
Sc ncw iI wc: Scncrc, Lee, Dcn, cnc Wi||icm.
IcgeIher, Ihey |ivec in c :imp|e, Iwc-Lecrccm cpcrImenI, in lng|ewccc,
Cc|ifcrnic.
Lee cnc Wi||icm gcI c|cng ckcy, :c iI wc: ncI c Lig cec| hcving Ic :hcre c
Lecrccm.
8uI iI cce:nI enc Ihere.
Ycu :ee Dcn hcc cncIher :cn, ncmec 8ricn....cnc c ccughIer, ncmec
Dicnc.
Sc whi|e iI wc: c IighI mcney :Ircin, Ihey c|| mcvec in IcgeIher, in c :imp|e
Ihree Lecrccm hcme, in Gcrcenc, Cc|ifcrnic.
Lee cnc Dcn: chi|cren hcc Iheir Iypicc| My mcm i:nI YCUF mcm/My
Dcc i:nI YCUF ccc" :pcI:, LuI Ihey gcI c|cng |ike LrcIher: cnc :i:Ier: in c
ncrmc|" hcu:ehc|c wcu|c.
Lee cicnI ccre much fcr p|cying wiIh Dcn: kic:, e:pecic||y when Ihey
wcu|c reminc Lee IhcI Iheir Mcm wcu|c ccme pick Ihem up cnc :penc
Iime wiIh Ihem, LuI Lee: ccc hcc ncI even :c much c: cc||ec cne :ing|e
Iime Ic hecr Lee: vcice.
Lee wcu|c cfIen wcncer, Why cce:nI my ccc wcnI me" /nc cuI cf
emLcrrc::menI wcu|c pu|| Ihe L|cnkeI: cnc pi||cw cver cI nighI, :c Dcn:
kic: ccu|cnI hecr Lee crying Ic :|eep.

Whi|e Ihere were c ccup|e cf kic: Lee p|cyec wiIh in Ihe neighLcrhccc,
Lee preIIy much :Icyec in Ihe hcu:e mc:I cf Ihe Iime, |ecving Ihi: wcr|c
cnc enIering Ihe wcr|c fcunc in Lcck:. Ccmic Lcck:, ficIicn Lcck:, ncn-
ficIicn Lcck:, whcIever :cuncec inIere:Iing. Lee even wrcIe c :Icry frcm
Iime Ic Iime. SIcrie: cf ccvenIure, cnc exp|crcIicn, cnc cf whcI c rec||y
ccc| |ife mighI Le |ike.

/rgumenI: in Ihe hcu:e were :cmeIime: nc:Iy. Dcn ccu|c Le c very
ccnIrc||ing cnc phy:icc| per:cn, cnc Scncrc ccu|c finc :cme preIIy :hcrp
Ihing: Ic :cy Ic wcunc, cnc wc: ncI unfcmi|icr wiIh Ihe effecIive u:e cf
hiIIing wiIh Ihe hee| enc cf her :hce:.
Dcn cnc Scncrc wcu|c crgue, Lee cnc Dicnc wcu|c crgue, Wi||icm cnc
Scncrc wcu|c crgue, Dcn cnc Lee wcu|c crgue. /I :cme pcinI, ecch
memLer cf Ihe hcu:ehc|c crguec wiIh cne cncIher cne-cn-cne cr in
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Iecm: cI LE/SI cnce.
8uI Ihe wcr:I crgumenI Lee ever recc||:, wc: when cne ccy Lee: Mcm
gcI :c mcc, :he :cic Ic Lee, l :hcu|c hcve |i:Ienec Ic my mcIher cnc
gcIIen cn cLcrIicnl"

Hecvy wcrc: fcr c yecr c|c Ic hecr, e:pecic||y ccming frcm Ihe mcuIh
cf Ihe cne per:cn whc wc: :uppc:ec Ic |cve Lee Ihe mc:I.

8uI ncI everyIhing wc: Lcc cnc hcrriL|e. Ihe fcmi|y Icck vcccIicn: cnc
Irip:, cnc cic Ihing: IhcI Lee rec||y enjcyec very much, cnc wcu|c |cck
Lcck cn wiIh c :mi|e frcm Iime Ic Iime.

/nc ju:I cfIer Lee Iurnec 7, c LcLy :i:Ier wc: Lcrn inIc Ihe fcmi|y. Sc whi|e
Lee c|reccy hcc Iwc :Iep LrcIher: cnc c :Iep :i:Ier, Ihi: new LcLy wc:
ccIuc||y, Iechnicc||y, cfficic||y, hc|f cf c FE/L :i:Ier. / hc|f :i:Ier, ncmec
Dcnnc.
Cn Ihe cne hcnc, Ihi: wc: mcjcr ccc|. Cn Ihe cIher hcnc, iI chcngec
:cmeIhing IhcI Lee never :cw ccming, cnc re:u|Iec in cn cngcing Icpic
cf mi:uncer:Iccc crgumenI:, LeIween Lee cnc Scncrc IhcI |c:Iec fcr
:everc| yecr:.
Ycu :ee, up unIi| IhcI pcinI, wiIh Ihe excepIicn cf when Lee: mcm hcc Ic
gc Ic wcrk, Lee hcc c|wcy: gcne wherever Mcm wenI. 8uI ncw Ihere
were Iime: when Mcm cnc hc|f :i:Ier, Dcnnc, |efI :cmep|cce, LuI Lee
wc:nI c||cwec Ic ccme Icc.
/nc Ihi: ccnfu:ec Lee. Why ccn Dcnnc gc wiIh Mcm, LuI l ccnI"
Ihe wcrc pecicIricicn" wc: never Ic|c Ic Lee, :c Ihe ccnfu:icn remcinec
fcr c|mc:I c yecr.
lI cicnI Icke |cng fcr Ihe wcrc: ycure ju:I jec|cu:" Ic ccme frcm Ihe
mcuIh cf Lee: Mcm. lI :eemec Scncrc hcc :pcken Ic :cme frienc, cnc
Ihe frienc :cic, Lee: ju:I jec|cu: cf Dcnnc." Sc Scncrc excepIec IhcI
exp|cncIicn.

8uI, cgcin, ncI everyIhing wc: Lcc cnc hcrriL|e. Lee cnc Dcnnc gcI
c|cng very we|| {excu:|ng tne typ|cc| :|c||ng :pct: tnct |:) cnc crcunc Ihi:
Iime Lee hcc Icken up crcwing. Sc cne ccy, Leccu:e Lee knew Dcnnc
|cvec c chcrccIer ncmec Hc||y HcLLie," Lee crew her c picIure cf Hc||ie
HcLLie, which Dcnnc vc|uec :c much.
Ihey Lickerec cnc fcughI |ike Iypicc| :iL|ing: cc, LuI Ihey :Ii|| |cvec ecch
cIher very much.

When Lee wc: nine yecr:-c|c, Iwc |ife chcnging evenI: cccurrec.

Lee hcc ceve|cpec c frienc:hip wiIh Iwin Lcy: in Ihe neighLcrhccc, whc
were c|:c in Ihe :cme 3rc grcce c|c::rccm c: Lee. Like Lee, Ihe Iwin:
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158


were very :hy, which i: |ike|y why Ihey ceve|cpec c frienc:hip.
Cne nighI, whi|e Lee wc: re|cxing cI hcme, reccing c Ncncy Drew
My:Ierie: Lcck Lcrrcwec frcm Ihe :chcc| LiLrcry, Ihe :cunc cf :iren:
echcec Ihrcugh Ihe neighLcrhccc, cnc Ihe ci:IincI :me|| cf :mcke ccu|c
Le ncIicec.

Lee cicnI |ecrn unIi| Ihe nexI ccy whcI hcc hcppenec.

Ihe hcme where Ihe Iwin: |ivec, hcc ccughI fire, cue Ic c pcrIcL|e hecIer
Leing Icc c|c:e Ic :cme curIcin: cr :cmeIhing.

Cne cf Ihe Iwin: hcc Leen Lcc|y Lurnec.

Ihe cIher Iwin, ciec.

Ihe mix cf ccnfu:icn cnc c|criIy fi||ec Lee: minc IhcI ccy.
Lee uncer:Iccc cecIh, LuI wc: ccnfu:ec hcw cecIh hcppen: Ic kic: whc
cre cn|y yecr: c|c.
Cn|y c|c pecp|e cie." Lee IhcughI. Kic: ccnI cie, cc Ihey NcI rec||y,
righI"
Ihe rec|iIy IhcI cecIh ccn hcppen Ic cnycne, cI cny Iime, fcr cny rec:cn.
/nc ce:piIe Ihe Ircgic new:, ccy: pc::ec Ly wiIh Lee expecIing Ihe
cecc Iwin Ic ncI rec||y Le cecc cfIer c||.
8uI c: ccy: Iurnec Ic week:, Ihe IhcughI cf never cgcin :eeing Ihe cecc
Iwin, evenIuc||y :unk in. Which ccu:ec Lee Ic grcw up c |iII|e fc:Ier,
menIc||y, IhcI yecr.

/ few week: |cIer, Ihe :urviving Iwin reIurnec Ic :chcc|, cnc Ic Ihe
c|c::rccm IhcI Lee wc: c|:c in. Ihe Iwin hcc c Lcc|y Lurnec fcce, nc |efI
ecr, cnc hi: hecc wc: Lcnccgec c|| Ihe wcy ccwn Ic where hi: eye
Lrcw: u:ec Ic Le.
/: c yecr c|c, Lee wc: very un:ure hcw Ic inIerccI wiIh Ihe Iwin, even
Ihcugh Ihey were frienc:.
Ihere were mcny ue:Iicn: Lee wcnIec Ic kncw, LuI Ihere wc: ncIhing
IhcI :eemec cpprcpricIe Ic :cy.

Hey...Un...ccn ycu :t||| nec| c: gccc w|tn nc |e|t ec|....Un. | necn. cce:
ycu| |cce nu|t c| cnytn|ng Nc. wnct | necnt wc:....

Sc Lee ju:I |efI c|| Ihe ue:Iicn: uncn:werec, cnc fe|I mcyLe iI wc: Le:I Ic
wciI fcr Ihe Iwin Ic :peck when he fe|I |ike Ic|king Ic pecp|e cgcin.

lI Icck necr|y c mcnIh fcr Ihe :urviving Iwin Ic :peck Ic cnycne cI :chcc|.
/nc when he cic, iI wc: Lee IhcI he :pcke Ic fir:I. lI wc: whi|e Ihey were
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Icking c Ie:I, cnc Ihe Ieccher hcc :Ieppec cuI:ice :|ighI|y Ic Ic|k Ic :cme
cIher grcwn up.
Lee rememLer: excct|y whcI Ihe Iwin :cic.
Ihe Iwin |ecnec in c|c:e Ic Lee...
cnc whi:perec,

WhcI: Ihe cn:wer Ic ue:Iicn fcur"

IhcI :ummer, Lee f|ew Ic Grcncmc: hcu:e, which hcc Leccme c kinc cf
IrcciIicn cnc wcu|c ccnIinue fcr Ihe nexI hcncfu| cf yecr:. Lee |cvec Ihe
:ummer: wiIh Grcncmc, cnc wiIh ccu:in: whc wcu|c vi:iI frcm cncIher
pcrI cf Ihe :IcIe.
/nc cn Ihi: pcrIicu|cr :ummer vi:iI, Lee: Mcm, Scncrc, pcic c vi:iI IhcI
Ju|y, c|cng wiIh Lee: :i:Ier Dcnnc. Scncrc hcc kncwn c ccup|e ncmec
8eIIy cnc Lecn fcr mcny yecr:, cnc Ihi: pcrIicu|cr yecr, Lee gcI Ic meeI
8eIIy cnc Lecn: chi|cren. Cne cf Ihe chi|cren wc: ncmec Shcwn, cnc
Lee fe|I |cve {we||. |cve c: Lee knew |t tc ce ct tnct t|ne) fcr Ihe very fir:I
Iime. Lee: Iime wiIh Shcwn wc: mcgicc|," cnc Leccme Ihe very fir:I
Iime Lee ever experiencec ncI cn|y :|eeping in Ihe :cme Lec c: :cmecne
cf Ihe cppc:iIe :ex whc wc: NCI c re|cIive. 8uI Lee c|:c fe|I Ihe Iing|e cf
firewcrk: frcm ki::ing Shcwn.
/h, ycung |cve. Sc mcgicc|, yeI :c c|um:y, |cughcL|e, cnc cccrcL|el

Ihe:e Iwc evenI:, Ihe cecIh cf c frienc, cnc fir:I |cve, mcrkec c cefining
mcmenI IhcI Lee wcu|c ncI fu||y rec|ize unIi| mcny, mcny yecr: |cIer.

When Lee :penI Ihe fir:I ccy in Junicr High, iI wc: exciIing, Ierrifying, cnc
ccIuc||y encec funny, in Lee: cpinicn.
lI wc: exciIing fcr Lee, Leccu:e ncw Ihere were :everc| cifferenI
c|c::rccm: Ic gc Ic ecch :chcc| ccy, which Lee IhcughI wc: kinc cf ccc|.
lI wc: Ierrifying fcr Lee, Leccu:e ncw Ihere were :everc| cifferenI
c|c::rccm: Ic gc Ic ecch :chcc| ccy, which wc: mcre Ihcn c |iII|e
cverwhe|ming Ic cec| wiIh fcr :cmecne whc wc: very :hy, cnc hcc whcI
:eemec |ike c Lczi||icn :Ircnge new kic: Ic :ee cnc inIerccI wiIh.
8uI IhcI fir:I ccy cf Junicr High encec funny {Funny NCW, ncI :c funny Ic
Lee when iI hcppenec) Ycu :ee, Lee hcc Ic ccIch Ihe Lu: Ic cnc frcm
Junicr High. Grcwing up, Lee hcc :een Ihe cIher junicr high kic: ccIch Ihe
Lu: Ic :chcc|, iI wc: ju:I c L|cck cwcy, :c IhcI wc: ec:y. 8uI...cnce :chcc|
wc: ccne fcr Ihe ccy, Ihere were ELEVEN Lu:e: cI Ihe Junicr High :chcc|,
cnc Lee hcc nc c|ue which cne wc: Ihe righI cne Ic Icke hcme. Lee
c:kec cne cf Ihe Lu: criver:, whc pcinIec Ic c Lu: ccrc:: Ihe :IreeI.
Lee, ncw re|ievec, rcn Ic Ihe Lu: :Icp, cnc hcppec cn.
Hcwever, tnct Lu:, iI Iurnec cuI, wc: gcing Ic ccwnIcwn Lc: /nge|e:.
Which wc: crcunc 30 minuIe: in Ihe CFFCSlIE cirecIicn frcm where Lee
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|ivec.
30 minuIe: E/CH W/Yl
/fIer c Ierrifying hcur-|cng Lu: rice, cne IhcI Lee hcc nc icec where iI
wcu|c enc up, Ihe Lu: finc||y hcc c :Icp IhcI wc: ju:I Ihree mi|e: frcm
hcme :weeI hcme.

Ihe nexI ccy Lee mcce :ure Ic c:k c frienc which Lu: wc: Ihe ccrrecI
cne hcme.

Junicr High hcc iI: high pcinI: cnc |cw pcinI:.
8eing cne cf Ihe :hcrIer kic: in Junicr High, wc: c ce||n|te |cw pcinI. Lee
wc: pickec cn, rcLLec cf fccc, cnc wc: necr|y fcrcec Ic pcy c Lu||y $1
every ccy cr Lee wcu|c geI LecI up. Ihe |cIIer wc: uc:hec, Ihcnk: Ic
Ihe :chcc| ccun:e|cr, whcm Lee: Mcm hcc ccnIccIec.

Ihe :Ire:: cf Leing cn inIrcverI in c high|y exIrcverIec Junicr High Schcc|,
Icck iI: Ic|| cn Lee. re:u|Iing in :uccen :Icmcch cche:" cnc c |cck cf
fccu: cn :chcc| wcrk. Which, in Ihe Ih grcce, re:u|Iec in cne cf Lee:
repcrI ccrc: Leing :IrcighI F:l
FcrIuncIe|y, Lee fcunc Ihe ccurcge Ic Le c |iII|e mcre Lrcve Ic Lu||ie:,
which ccu:ec :cme cf Ihem Ic mcve cnIc |e:: ceficnI kic:. /nc Lee hcc
fc||en in |cve cgcin. Sc Ihe IhcughI cf fci|ing Ihe Ih grcce cnc ncI :eeing
Ihi: cLjecI cf cffecIicn in High Schcc|, mcIivcIec Lee Ic geI gccc encugh
grcce: Ic grccucIe.

8y Ihe Iime Lee grccucIec Junicr High Schcc|, 8i||, 8ricn, cnc Dicnc hcc
c|| eiIher mcvec cuI, cr wenI Ic |ive wiIh Iheir mcIher. Sc Ihe hcu:e
Leccme |e:: cf c :Ire:: cn Lee, Ihcugh Ihe fighI: cnc in:u|I: ccnIinuec
frcm Iime Ic Iime.
IhcI :ummer Ihe remcining fcmi|y wenI Ic Cchu, Hcwcii.
lI wc: Ihe fir:I Iime Lee hcc ever Ircve|ec, c:ice frcm Ihe :ummer
vcccIicn: Ic Grcncmc: Lcck ec:I curing E|emenIcry Schcc|.
Lee rememLerec Ihi: Irip very we||, Leccu:e iI wc: c new cu|Iure, even
Ihcugh iI wc: pcrI cf Ihe UniIec SIcIe:. Ihi: Legcn Lee: inIere:I in |ecrning
cLcuI cifferenI cu|Iure:, cnc re:u|Iec in Lee Leccming mcre
uncer:Icncing cf pecp|e IhcI were cf cifferenI rcce:, cnc Ihu:, cifferenI
cu|Iure:.

Scmewhere LeIween Ihe micc|e cf Ih grcce, cnc Ihe Leginning cf 10Ih
grcce {wn|cn wc: ncw H|gn Scncc| |n Lee': c|ec), Lee grew inche: Ic||er
{nct tc nent|cn g|ew :tu|| tnct necnt puce|ty wc: |cte. cut ncc c|||vec)
Ihe 10Ih grcce wc:...we||, unevenIfu|.
8uI Ihing: in Lee: hcme were cI |ec:I imprcving. SIep-ccc never cgcin
|cic c hcnc cn Lee: mcIher in vic|ence, ncr cn Lee.
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161


Scncrc, Lee: mcIher, :Ii|| hcc mcmenI: cf Ycu|| never cmcunI Ic
cnyIhing" ccmmenI: curing crgumenI:, LuI Ihc:e were fcr cnc few ncw,
Ihcnkfu||y.
Ihe 11Ih grcce, he|c Iwc impcrIcnI mcmenI: in Lee: |ife: GeIIing kickec
cuI cf Schcc| cnc hcving Ic gc Ic remecic| :chcc|" in:Iecc. /nc geIIing
kickec cuI cf remecic| :chcc|" cnc Leing c||cwec Lcck cI Ihe :cme
High Schcc| IhcI kickec Lee cuI. Lee cce:nI recc|| much cLcuI IhcI yecr,
which eiIher :hcw: hcw uninIere:Iing iI wc:, cr hcw fcrgeIfu| Lee i: Ic whcI
IhcI yecr wc: |ike. /LcuI Ihe cn|y evenIfu|" Iime IhcI yecr, wc: Lee:
Hi:Icry Ieccher. {Lee fcrgcI Ihe guy: ncme, LuI ncI Ihe cffecI he hcc)
Lee: hi:Icry Ieccher :eemec Ic hcve c rec| pc::icn fcr Leing c Hi:Icry
Ieccher, which impre::ec Lee. ln c|| cf Lee: yecr: cI :chcc| up Ic IhcI
pcinI, nc cIher Ieccher hcc Leen :c enIhu:ic:Iic cLcuI c :uLjecI c: Ic
mcke c|mc:I Ihe enIire c|c:: hcppy Ic Le in Ihe c|c::rccm. He wc: c :IricI
Ieccher when iI ccme Ic hcmewcrk Leing ccne, LuI he hcc c wcy cf
wecving humcr cnc pcrIicipcIicn inIc Ihe :ericu:ne:: cf Ihe |ecrning
Leing given. /I Ihe Iime cf Ihi: wriIing, Lee creciI: Ihi: unkncwn ncmec
Hi:Icry Ieccher c: Leing Ihe :uLccn:cicu: :pcrk IhcI |ecc Ic Lee: chc:en
prcfe::icn Icccy.

Ihe 12Ih grcce, ncw IhcI wc: when :cme inIere:Iing :Iuff hcppenec in
Lee: |ife.
Lee wc: ncI much inIc :pcrI:, :c Fhy:icc| EcuccIicn {cr F.E." in /mericc)
wc: ncI c c|c:: IhcI Lee hcc ever Leen very fcnc cf.
IhcI chcngec, Ihrcugh c :erie: cf evenI:, IhcI Legcn, in cf c|| p|cce:,
Hi:Icry C|c::. Lee hcc gcIIen Ic kncw c guy ncmec Jcrvi:, cnc Ihrcugh
Jcrvi:, Lee meI Jcrvi: ccu:in, 8i||y. Ncw, 8i||y wc: cne cf Ihc:e Dcmn, lm
fine" kinc cf guy: {ln fccI, 8i||y wcu|c cfIen :cy IhcI very Ihing cfIen) cnc
he hcc c very |eccer-|ike uc|iIy cLcuI him. Sc ncIurc||y Lee wc: wi||ing Ic
fc||cw 8i||y cnywhere {inc|ucing, cppcrenI|y, cn c |eI: :kip :chcc|"
ccvenIure IhcI re:u|Iec in Ihem c|| gcing Ic :Icnc cuI:ice Ihe gcIe: cf c
high|y pcpu|cr :inger/ccncer: hcme, cf c|| Ihing:).
/nywcy, 8i||y wc: c very gccc ccncer. /nc Leing :uch c gccc ccncer,
hi: Fhy:icc| EcuccIicn c|c:: wc: ccIuc||y Ihe :chcc|: new ccnce c|c::.
Lee wc: c hcrriL|e ccncer, LuI wcnIec Ic Le crcunc 8i||y, :c ccrcLccrc
|eg: cnc c||, Lee Iriec cuI fcr ccnce c|c::.
We||, c: |uck wcu|c hcve iI, Ihe ccnce c|c:: chcrecgrcpher, Cry:Ic|, wc:
very ce:percIe fcr pecp|e cf Lee: gencer, :c Lee wc: cccepIec inIc Ihe
c|c::. Ihi: Legcn cncIher :erie: cf evenI: IhcI wcu|c chcnge EVEFYIHlNG
in Lee: |ife.
/mcng Ihe new frienc: Lee mcce, wc: :cmecne ncmec Decn, LuI whc
wcnIec everycne Ic cc|| him Fcpccrn." {Ihi: wc: Lcck in Ihe 80:, when
pcp |ccking" wc: rec||y Lig.) Fcpccrn" wc: cne inIere:Iing chcrccIer.
He wc: ju:I c: inf|uenIic| c: 8i||y, cnc hcc c :prink|e cf Ihug" in hi:
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162


cemecncr. Ihe ccc| Ihing Ic Lee, wc: IhcI Fcpccrn" knew :cme rec| |ife
ce|eLriIie:, cnc wcu|c :cmeIime: Lring Lee c|cng Ic :cme cf Ihe pcrIie:
he gcI inviIec Ic. Sc cn Ihe cne :ice, Ihere wc: 8i||y, whc ju:I hcc c
|eccer" cIIiIuce IhcI inf|uencec Lee. /nc Ihen ycu hcc Fcpccrn," whc
wc: Ihi: hip, :ecucIive, cuce whc hcc ccnnecIicn:.
NcIurc||y 8i||y cnc Fcpccrn" cicnI geI c|cng uiIe we||, cnc wcu|c cfIen
Iry Ic inf|uence Lee cwcy frcm Ihe cIher.
8uI, Lee fcunc c wcy Ic Lc|cnce LcIh cf Ihem, wiIhcuI Icc much crcmc.

Ch, cnc cic l menIicn IhcI Lee |ivec Ihree L|cck: frcm High Schcc|
Yep, which cf ccur:e re:u|Iec in Lee, Jcrvi:, cnc cf ccur:e, 8i||y, {cnc
Fcpccrn" if 8i||y wc:nI Ihere) freuenI|y ciIching :chcc|, Ic hcng cuI cI
Lee: hcme, cnc prccIice ccnce mcve:, unIi| iI wc: Iime Ic gc Ic ccnce
c|c::. ln fccI, Ihi: Leccme :uch c ccmmcn Ihing, IhcI iI ccIuc||y Leccme
|ike c c|uL" Ihing, wiIh cIher kic: in :chcc| wcnIing Ic Le c||cwec Ic
ccme c|cng Icc.
NcIurc||y IH/I |ecc Ic :cme inIere:Iing mcmenI:, inc|ucing Lee: fcmi|y
cen freuenI|y Leing u:ec c: c rccm fcr :ex, cnc pecp|e even F/YlNG
ju:I Ic hcng cuI wiIh Lee cnc Ihe cIher ccc| kic:."
ln Ihe :pcn cf ju:I c few mcnIh:, Lee wenI frcm Ihi: :hy, inIrcverIec,
per:cn, Ic Ihi: ccc| kic" IhcI pecp|e wcnIec Ic hcng cuI wiIh.
Ihe wcy pecp|e IrecIec Lee, wc: cccicIing. Lee ceve|cpec c :|ighI egc,
LuI IrecIec everycne c: cn euc| {ccccrcing Ic Lee cnywcy).

/nywcy, Ihe ccnce c|c:: IhcI Lee wc: in, puI cn c :hcw fcr Ihe :chcc| in
Ihe cuciIcrium cne nighI. /ppcrenI|y, :cmecne wc: in Ihe cucience IhcI
wc: impre::ec Ly Ihe :hcw, cnc inviIec Ihe ccnce c|c:: Ic Le in c
vcrieIy" ccnce :hcw Leing he|c in Hermc:c 8ecch. Ihi: wc: c rec||y Lig
cec|, e:pecic||y fcr Lee, whc hcc Ly ncw Leccme c ccnficenI 18 yecr
c|c, reccy Ic Icke cn Ihe wcr|c.
Ihe :hcw gcI :c|c cuI, fcr c|| Ihree nighI:, which furIher pumpec up Lee:
ccnficence.

LeI: :Iep Lcck c mcmenI, crcunc :even mcnIh: pricr Ic Ihi: evenI.
Hcving ceve|cpec c :Ircng inIere:I in IhecIre cnc ccnce, Lee wc: mcre
Ihcn ecger Ic jcin Mcm Ic :ee c mu:icc| p|cy c cc-wcrker cf Lee: mcm
wc: in, cI c |ccc| ccmmuniIy IhecIre.
Ihe mu:icc| wc: Ccrnivc|." /nc cLcuI micwcy cr :c Ihrcugh Ihe
perfcrmcnce, c cerIcin per:cn ccme cn :Icge IhcI lMMEDl/IELY ccughI
Lee: cIIenIicn.
{ln Ihe inIere:I cf keeping Lee: gencer cmLigucu:, l|| u:e Ihi: per:cn:
|c:I ncme, Lccc")
When Lccc" :Ieppec cuI cn :Icge, Lee wc: in:IcnI|y cIIrccIec. lI wc:
ncI ju:I Ihe wcy Lccc" |cckec, LuI c|:c hcw Lccc" :cng, cnc ccncec
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163


c: we||. Lee hcc never :een :uch cn cmczing|y Ic|enIec per:cn {cnc
rememLer, Lee hcc meI c few fcmcu: ce|eLriIie: crcunc Ihi: Iime).
/: Lee recc||: iI, l ccnI Le|ieve l L|inkec CNCE Ihe enIire Iime {Lccc")
ccme cn :Icge. l cicnI wcnI Ic mi:: c :ing|e :eccnc, iI wc: IH/I pcwerfu|
cn impccI.")
/fIer Ihe :hcw, when Ihe perfcrmer: ccme inIc Ihe |cLLy Ic :peck Ic Ihe
gue:I:, Lee wc: W/Y Icc in:ecure Ic :cy even cne wcrc Ic Lccc." 8uI
IhcI wc: IHEN.

8cck Ic Ihe Hermc:c 8ecch :hcw, :even mcnIh: |cIer.
/: i: ccmmcn wiIh mc:I :hcw:, Ihere cre rehecr:c|:. Upcn crriving fcr Ihe
fir:I rehecr:c|, wiIh Ihe chcrecgrcpher, Cry:Ic|, Lee :cw Cry:Ic| greeI
:cmecne whc hcc ju:I gcIIen cuI cf Iheir ccr.
lI W/S L/DDl"
Lee cLcuI fcinIec cecc cwcy. NcI cn|y wc: Lee mcc|y, ceep|y,
hcpe|e::|y, infcIucIec, wiIh Lccc," LuI Ly ncw hcc grcw ccnficenI
encugh Ic ccIuc||y SFE/K Ic Lccc."
Lee ccu|cnI Le|ieve IhcI cfIer c|| Ihe:e mcnIh:, Lccc" wc: gcing Ic Le
crcunc every :ing|e nighI fcr rehecr:c|:, p|u: Le crcunc lN Ihe :hcw, cnc
Lee wcu|c hcve |cI: cf chcnce: Ic :Ic|k...l mecn I/LK Ic Lccc."
Ihe fir:I wcrc: Lee ever :cic Ic Lccc" were....

Sc...um...Hi."

Dcmn, whcI c Lri||icnI cpener, eh Lccc" wcu|c Le in Ihe pc|m cf Lee:
hcnc in nc Iime ncwl

UnfcrIuncIe|y, Lee mighI cf hcc Ihe ccnficence, LuI |cckec Ihe cLi|iIy Ic
rec||y geI Lccc:" cIIenIicn. F|u:, Lccc" wc: c|reccy in c re|cIicn:hip,
which mcce Lee fee| Ihere wc: nc chcnce, rcmcnIicc||y.

/|| Ihree :c|c cuI :hcw: L|ew cwcy Ihe cucience, cnc Ihe :cunc cf Ihe
cpp|cu:e cwcke :cmeIhing in Lee IhcI hcc ncI Leen ncIicec Lefcre.
IhcI :cmeIhing" wc: Ihe in:IcnI grcIificcIicn fe|I cf ccing |ive
perfcrmcnce:.
Sure, Ihey cpp|cucec curing Ihe High Schcc| :hcw. 8uI Ihi: experience
wc: cifferenI. Ihi: experience: ncI cn|y hcc Ihree :IrcighI nighI: cf
cpp|cu:e, LuI Ihe :ize cf Ihe Lui|cing he|c c|mc:I Irip|e Ihe pecp|e Ihcn
Lee: High Schcc| cuciIcrium, :c Ihe :heer vc|ume cf iI wc:, c: Lee puI iI,
encugh Ic viLrcIe my Lccyl"

/fIer c|c:ing nighI, Lee: chcrecgrcpher, Cry:Ic|, inviIec :cme cf Ihe
pecp|e in her c|c:: Ic c Lecch pcrIy.
Lee wc: cne cf Ihe pecp|e inviIec.
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164


IhcI nighI, cI IhcI Lecch pcrIy, Lee Iriec mcrijucnc fcr Ihe very fir:I Iime,
cnc gcI c |iII|e crunk. / fir:I Iime fcr LcIh, LuI ncI Ihe |c:I cf eiIher.

Hcving ncw Leen LiIIen Ly Ihe ccIing Lug" Lee wc: uiIe ec:i|y
per:uccec Ic Iry cuI fcr p|cy:. /nc Lee: fir:I p|cy, Li| /Lner," encec up
Leing cI Ihe exccI :cme ccmmuniIy IhecIre Lee fir:I :cw Lccc."
Lee: c|reccy grcwing egc, wc: mcce c|| Ihe mcre :wc||en when :cme
fe||cw perfcrmer:, whc hcc ccne ccmmuniIy IhecIre fcr yecr:, prci:ec
Lee fcr hcving :uch Ic|enI fcr :cmecne whc: never ccne Ihi: :Iuff
Lefcre."

Hey, rememLer, c|| Ihc:e Iime: Lee ciIchec :chcc| Ic hcng cuI wiIh
pecp|e cI hcme We||, iI gcI Lee expe||ec.

/I fir:I, Lee wc: cepre::ec.
Ihen, Lee wc: fru:IrcIec.
Lee hcc nc rec| cirecIicn cfIer IhcI, cnc even :Icppec ccing ccmmuniIy
IhecIre.
Ihi: wenI cn fcr mcnIh:.
Ihen cne ccy, Lee gcI inIc c Lcc crgumenI wiIh Mcm.
Mcm cc||ec :Iep-ccc, Ic|c :Iep-ccc cLcuI Ihe crgumenI, Mcm hcncec
Lee Ihe phcne, cnc :Iep-ccc :cic, Lecve Ihe hcu:e, cnc l ccn'I wcnI
ycu ccming Lcck unIi| ycu hcve c jcLl"
Sc Lee |efI Ihe hcu:e, jumpec inIc Ihe ccr, cnc Icck c crive.
Lee hcc nc inIenIicn cn rec||y :ericu:|y |ccking fcr c jcL. Why LcIher ln
Lee: cpinicn, why LcIher when ncIhing wi|| ever Le gccc encugh in
Mcm cnc :Iep-ccc: eye:.
Ihen Lee hcc Ihe mc:I in:cne IhcughI. Lee IhcughI cf c jcL IhcI wcu|c
geI Lee cwcy frcm Mcm cnc :Iep-ccc, cnc cI Ihe :cme Iime Le c jcL
IhcI Ihey ccu|cnI pc::iL|y |cck ccwn cI Lee upcn.
Lee: jcL icec
Jcining Ihe /rmyl
Lee wenI cirecI|y Ic cn /rmy recruiIer, cnc wc: c|| reccy Ic :ign up.
Ihe cn|y prcL|em, ccccrcing Ic Ihe recruiIer, wc: IhcI Lee neecec Ic
hcve c High Schcc| cip|cmc.
WH/I Ihi: SUCKSl" IhcughI Lee.
8uI, Ihere wc: gccc new:. lf Lee wenI Ic /cu|I Schcc|" Ic fini:h Ihe
reuirec creciI: Ic grccucIe, Lee ccu|c jcin Ihe /rmy cn Ihe ce|cyec
enIry" prcgrcm.
Lee wenI fcr iIl
lI Icck everyIhing Lee hcc {cfIer c||, were Ic|king necr|y cn enIire
:ene:te| cf c|c:: creciI:l).
8uI Lee cic iIl
IhcI June, Lee grccucIec wiIh c High Schcc| Dip|cmc.
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165


/nc cn Ju|y 31:I, Lee f|ew Ic FcrI Lecncrcwccc, Mi::curi, cnc Legcn /rmy
8c:ic Ircining.

Ihe newe:I chcpIer cf Ihe :Icry cf Lee, wc: ncw :IcrIingl

Ihere were :cme mcjcr ccju:ImenI: Ic Le mcce if Lee p|cnnec cn
mcking iI Ihcugh /rmy 8c:ic Ircining. /fIer c||, Ihe:e pecp|e were gcing Ic
Le rcugher cn Lee Ihcn Mcm cnc :Iep-ccc EVEF were.
/nc Ihere wc: nc Fuck Ihi:, lm gcing fcr c wc|kl" in Ihe /rmy.
Ycu cic WH/I ycu were Ic|c, HCW Ic cc iI, cnc WHEN Ic :Icp ccing iI.

/nc Ihrcugh pcinfu| nighI:, cnc even mcre pcinfu| ccy:, Lee fcunc c new
fcmi|y" in Ihe fe||cw recruiI: gcing Ihrcugh Ihe exccI :cme :hiI Lee wc:
gcing Ihrcugh.

When Ihc:e /rmy cc: c|cimec, 'We cc mcre Lefcre nine c.m. Ihcn mc:I
pecp|e cc c|| ccy, Ihey werenI kiccingl"

New |eve|: cf Iecmwcrk were recchec. New |eve|: cf ccnficence were
fe|I. New |eve|: cf :ki||: were cIIcinec.
/nc ce:piIe c week-|cng Hc:piIc| :Icy cue Ic hcving Leen LiIIen Ly c
Lrcwn rec|u:e :picer, Lee wc: cL|e Ic uc|ify in every reuirec ccur:e,
cnc grccucIec 8c:ic Irciningl

Lee Ihen wenI Ic, Le|ieve iI cr ncI, FcrI Lee, in Virginic, Ic geI Ircining c: c
FeIrc|eum Supp|y Specic|i:I {ln cIher wcrc:, pumping fue|)

Frcm Ihere, Lee :penI Chri:Imc: Lcck hcme wiIh Ihe fcmi|y, cnc Ihen iI
wc: cff Ic permcnenI cuIy" cI FcrI Cc:cn, Cc|crccc.
/nc Lee wc: c::ignec cI Ihe Le:I cuIy :IcIicn, HeccucrIer: 8cIIery. Ihi:
mecnI IhcI ce:piIe Lee: rcnk, Lee hcc Ihe cuIhcriIy cf cn cfficer curing
Ihe ce|ivery cf fue| cI Ihe mcIcr pcc|. lf Lee :cic, GeI :cmecne cuI here
Ic cccepI ce|ivery." Ihey eiIher cic iI, cr Lee hcc Ihe cuIhcriIy Ic give Ihe
fue| Ic cncIher mcIcr pcc|, cnc mcke Ihe uncccpercIive mcIcr pcc| c
|cwer pricriIy cn Ihe |i:I.
{Fcr Ihc:e ncI fcmi|icr, c mcIcr pcc|" i: where incivicuc| :ecIicn: cf Ihe
Lc:e hcu:e Iheir mi|iIcry vehic|e:, cnc cIher mcchinery IhcI reuire: fue|.
Ihink cf iI |ike Iheir cwn per:cnc| gc: :IcIicn.)

Lee cic :uch c gccc jcL, IhcI Ihe rcnking :ergecnI prcmcIec Lee Ic
FrivcIe Fir:I C|c::" wiIhin Ihe fir:I few mcnIh: cf cuIy.
{Which ccme wiIh c pcy rci:e, cf ccur:e)

WiIh c new rcnk, c grecI fee| fcr Ihe jcL, cnc Ihe fee|ing cf Leing pcrI cf c
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166


grecI Iecm, Lee Legcn Irying cuI fcr p|cy: cI Ihe 8c:e ccmmuniIy
IhecIre.
Lee |cncec c rc|e cI Ihe very fir:I cuciIicn, fcr c mu:icc| cc||ec, Gccc
New:."

lI wc: curing Ihe running cf Gccc New:" IhcI Lee meeI Ihe new IhecIre
cirecIcr, Derek.
/nc |ike Lee': High Schcc| frienc, Fcpccrn," Derek knew :cme rec| |ife
ce|eLriIie:. Un|ike Fcpccrn," Derek hcc Leen in cn ccIuc| Hc||ywccc
mcvie, cc||ec, Life WiIh FcIher." Sc Lee wc: cLcuI c: c|c:e Ic rec|
Hc||ywccc" c: iI gcI.
/ frienc:hip wc: fcrmec, which grew, ce:piIe Iheir 30-ccc yecr cge
cifference, inIc c very Iru:Iing frienc:hip. /nc Leing c Iru:Iec frienc cf Ihe
IhecIre cirecIcr, mecnI Lee wc: given c rc|e in every p|cy Ihe IhecIre puI
cn.

8uI IhcI: jumping checc :|ighI|y.

During Ihe run cf Lee: :eccnc p|cy cI Ihe 8c:e IhecIre, c ccmecy, Lee
meI :cmecne whc wc: c|:c in Ihe :hcw.
{We|| cc|| Ihi: per:cn, GiL:cn.")
/I fir:I Ihing: LeIween Ihem were c l ccnI SI/ND IhcI per:cnl" Iype cf
Ihing. 8uI Ly Ihe Iime Ihe :hcw c|c:ec, Lee hcc fcunc Ihe per:cn whc
wcu|c Icke Ihe mc:I precicu: cf gifI:: Lee: virginiIy.

/ :ericu:|y pc::icncIe rcmcnce hcc Legun, cnc Lee wc: cLcuI c: in |cve
c: cne ccu|c Le cnc :Ii|| remcin remcIe|y :cne.
Sc in |cve, IhcI Lee Legcn Ic :|cck cff curing rehecr:c|: fcr p|cy: IhcI
GiL:cn" wc: ncI in, cnc even :Icppec :hcwing up ccmp|eIe|y curing
cne p|cy IhcI Lee wc: cn uncer:Iucy fcr.

{/n uncer:Iucy" i: Ihe per:cn whc cce: Ihe rc|e, when Ihe mcin ccIcr
p|cying Ihe rc|e i: uncL|e Ic perfcrm fcr :cme rec:cn.)

Ihi: :Ircinec Ihe frienc:hip LeIween Lee cnc Derek, cnc evenIuc||y, Lee
:Icppec hcnging cuI wiIh Derek ccmp|eIe|y.
/cccrcing Ic Lee, l wcnIec Ic :penc c: much Iime wiIh {GiL:cn") c:
pc::iL|e, :c Derek kinc cf gcI puI Ic Ihe :ice, pricriIy-wi:e."

Lee cnc GiL:cn" :penI every :ing|e week-enc IcgeIher...c|| weekenc, fcr
mcny mcnIh:.

Ihen c cenIc| :urgery wcu|c ccu:e cncIher cne cf Ihc:e chcin cf evenI
Ihing:, IhcI :hifIec Lee: |ife in cn unexpecIec cirecIicn.
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167



Lee: wi:ccm IeeIh hcc Leccme impccIec, :c Ihey hcc Ic Le remcvec.
/fIer remcvc|, Lee wc: puI cn :cme hecvy cuIy pcin ki||er:. SC hecvy
cuIy, IhcI Lee: :Icff :ergecnI hcc Ic hc|c Lee up cnc he|p geI Lee inIc
Lec.

Lee wc: given Ihree ccy: cff Ic recupercIe.

/fIer Ihe Ihree ccy: pc::ec, iI wc: Lcck Ic wcrkl
/: wc: reuirec, Lee checkec Ihe Fire Gucrc" :checu|e Lefcre heccing
cuI Ic wcrk IhcI mcrning.
{Fire Gucrc" i: Lc:icc||y c Ncn-Ccmmi::icnec Cfficer *c :ergecnI u:uc||y*
cnc c |cwer rcnking :c|cier *c FrivcIe, FrivcIe-Fir:I C|c::, cr c Specic|i:I 4*
:iIIing up Ihe enIire nighI in Ihe |cLLy mcking :ure nc fire:, rcic:, cr
:hencnigcn: hcppenec in Ihe Lui|cing.)

Lee: ncme wc: ncI cn Ihe :checu|e fcr IhcI nighI, :c cff Ic wcrk Lee
wenI. UnfcrIuncIe|y, Lee neg|ecIec Ic check Ihe :checu|e cgcin upcn
reIurning Lcck frcm wcrk.

Ihe :checu|e hcc chcngec, Lee: ncme wc: cn iI, LuI Lee wc: cff pc:I
wiIh GiL:cn," :c wc: ncI recchcL|e.

Ihi: re:u|Iec in Lee geIIing cn /rIic|e 15 {Ihink cf iI c: Ihe Mi|iIcry: ver:icn
cf Leing grcuncec, LuI wiIh |c:Iing ccn:euence:)
Lee cic ncI |c:e Ihe FrivcIe Fir:I C|c::" rcnk, LuI wc: given 2 week: exIrc
cuIy {u:uc||y :Iripping cnc mcpping cnc wcxing cnc Luffing f|ccr: every
nighI), cnc 2 week: uniI re:IricIicn {Ccu|cnI |ecve Ihe Lui|cing cfIer wcrk
wc: cver fcr Ihe ccy)

FcrIuncIe|y, Ihi: wc: cI c Iime when Lee cnc Derek were :Ii|| fcir|y gccc
frienc:, :c Lee wc: in c p|cy fcr Ihe 8c:e IhecIre. /nc c: |uck wcu|c hcve
iI, Ihe ru|e: c||cwec fcr Lee Ic gc Ic rehecr:c|: cnc cc Ihe perfcrmcnce:,
c: Ihi: wc: ccn:icerec c funcIicn cf LenefiI Icwcrc Ihe 8c:e.
Sc whi|e Ihere wc: nc wcy Lee ccu|c geI cuI cf 2 week: cf exIrc cuIy, Lee
DlD geI cuI cf hcving Ic cc iI cn rehecr:c| nighI: cnc nighI: Ihe IhecIre
hcc c perfcrmcnce. F|u:, Ihi: mecnI Lee gcI cuI cf hcving Ic cc uniI
re:IricIicn.

/nywcy, Leccu:e Lee wc: c 20 yecr c|c, in |cve, yeI :Ii|| immcIure in :cme
wcy:, kinc cf per:cn, Lee wc: very cngry cI hcving Leen given cn /rIic|e
15, cnc fi|ec fcr c Ircn:fer fcr cver:ec: cuIy.
Ihere wc: nc gucrcnIee Lee wcu|c Le grcIec cver:ec: cuIy, LuI Lee
wcnIec Ic Iry cnywcy.
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168



NcI |cng cfIerwcrc:, Lee receivec cpprcvc|, cnc wc: gcing Ic Le
Ircn:ferrec Ic Germcny.

Lee Ic|c GiL:cn" cnc Ihey cecicec Ic geI mcrriec, :ince c Germcny
cuIy :IcIicn c||cwec :pcu:e: Ic ccme c|cng.
8uI, Ihere wc: cne :mc|| hiIch.
Ycu :ee GiL:cn" wc: ncI yeI 18. Sc iI wc: up Ic GiL:cn:" mcIher Ic
cpprcve Ihe mcrricge.
She refu:ec.
Hcwever, :he hcc nc prcL|em wiIh Lee cnc GiL:cn" geIIing engcgec,
:c IhcI: exccI|y whcI Ihey cic.

/ ring wc: LcughI, c prcmi:e wc: mcce, cnc :ccn, Lee wenI Ic
Germcny.

Lee ccju:Iec Ic Germcny cifferenI|y Ihcn expecIec.
Whi|e iI wc: uiIe cn cmczing experience, cnc Leing :urrcuncec Ly c
cifferenI cu|Iure wiIh c cifferenI |cngucge wc: fc:cincIing, :cmeIhing fe|I
mi::ing.

Sure, ncI hcving GiL:cn" crcunc :uckec, LuI iI wc: :cmeIhing even
ceeper Ihcn IhcI. Lee mi::ec Mcm. Lee hcc Leen cL|e Ic encure nc
phcne cc||: frcm Mcm curing 8c:ic Ircining, LuI IhcI wc: fcr ju:I Iwc
mcnIh:. 8eing :IcIicnec in Germcny wcu|c |ike|y :Icy IhcI wcy unIi| Lee:
Icur cf cuIy encec, which wc: cver c yecrl
Sure, Lee wc: cL|e Ic cc|| cnc Ic|k Ic Mcm frcm Iime Ic Iime, LuI IhcI wc:
u:uc||y cn|y fcr crcunc 10 minuIe:, cnc Ihe cc||: were expen:ivel
Mi::ing GiL:cn" cnc Mcm, ccu:ec Lee Ic reccI in wcy: IhcI were ncI
very gccc. Wcy: IhcI wcu|c hcve Lcc ccn:euence:.

/fIer crcunc 4 cr 5 mcnIh: cf Leing in Germcny, Lee gcI Ic kncw c fe||cw
:c|cier ncmec 8crIe|ink." Ihey hung cuI, Leccme gccc frienc: cnc, cn
cne cccc:icn, Ihing: necr|y gcI c |iII|e :ericu:.
lI hcppenec cne nighI when 8crIe|ink:" rccm mcIe hcc Icken cff
:cmep|cce, cnc 8crIe|ink" hcc cccicenIc||y |efI Ihe exIrc key in:ice Ihe
rccm. Living nexI cccr Ic Lee, 8crIe|ink" c:kec if iI wcu|c c|righI Ic crc:h
in Lee: rccm, :ince Lee hcc nc rccm mcIe.
Lee :cic ckcy.
ln Lee: rccm, were c :ing|e Lec, cnc c Lunk Lec. Lee :|epI cn Ihe :ing|e
Lec, cnc |eI 8crIe|ink" pick which Lunk cf Ihe Lunk Lec Ic :|eep cn.
8crIe|ink" :|epI cn Ihe |cwer Lunk.
Sc Ihere Ihey were, |cying in Iheir Lec:, Ic|king.

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169


Ihe |ighI: were cff, LuI Ihere wc: encugh exIericr |ighIing fcr Lee Ic :ee
8crIe|ink: fcce.

/nc Ihen fcr :cme rec:cn, Lee fe|I c :uccen :exuc| cIIrccIicn Icwcrc
8crIe|ink."
Lee hcc prcmi:ec Ic remcin fciIhfu| Ic GiL:cn" cnc wcnIec :c hcrc Ic
hcncr IhcI prcmi:e. 8uI IhcI Lrief :exuc| Iug, kepI Iugging, cnc Lee knew
IhcI if iI were c||cwec Ic ccnIinue, Lee wcu|c |ike|y cc :cmeIhing IhcI
wcu|c Le regreIIec in Ihe mcrning.
/: |uck wcu|c hcve iI, Lee hecrc whcI :cuncec |ike 8crIe|ink:" cccr
Leing un|cckec, cnc c:kec, l: IhcI ycur cccr"
8crIe|ink" checkec, cnc iI wc: inceec.

Ihcnkfu||y, Lee wcu|c never kncw whcI mighI hcve hcppenec, hcc
8crIe|ink: rccm mcIe ncI crrivec unIi| much |cIer IhcI nighI.

Ihe cwkwcrcne:: cf IhcI Lrief necr-:exuc| enccunIer, ccu:ec Lee Ic
purpc:e|y :Iep Lcck, ceIcch ju:I c |iII|e, frcm 8crIe|ink." Ihey remcinec
ju:I frienc:, Ihcugh in Ihe Lcck cf Lee: minc, Ihe curic:iIy cf whcI iI wcu|c
Le |ike Ic :Iep Leycnc IhcI, |ingerec.

Lee: Lehcvicr Legcn Ic Iurn c |iII|e ccrk, c: Ihe week: wenI cn.
Cu|mincIing cne nighI, when Lee :eI fire Ic c pc:Ier IhcI wc: hung in Ihe
:eccnc f|ccr hc||wcy.
Ihe rcmificcIicn: were ncI c: Lcc c: Ihey ccu|c hcve Leen, LuI Ihey
were Lcc encugh Ic ccu:e Lee: Mi|iIcry :ervice Ic Le cuI :hcrI.
Lee wc: fcrIuncIe|y given cn HcncrcL|e Di:chcrge, cnc :enI Lcck hcme.

Ihe fir:I week: hcme were ccmfcrIcL|e. /nc cf ccur:e Lee immecicIe|y
LcughI c IickeI Ic gc :ee GiL:cn," whc hcc mcvec cuI cf Mcm: hcu:e
Ic |ive wiIh Dcc, in /|cLcmc.
Ihe fcur hcur f|ighI :eemec |ike 40, Ic Lee.
8uI iI wc: c|| wcrIh Ihe wciI, in Lee: cpinicn, Ihe :eccnc Lee :cw
GiL:cn:" fcce.
Ic :cy Ihey :penI Iime geIIing reccucinIec" wcu|c Le cn
uncer:IcIemenI.
When Ihey wcu|c finc||y ccme up fcr cir, Ihe Iime wc: :penI p|cnning Ihe
weccing, which Dcc hcc c|reccy cpprcvec.
Lee :penI c fu|| mcnIh wiIh GiL:cn" cnc wcu|c hcve g|cc|y :penI :everc|
mcre wiIhcuI he:iIcIicn.

8uI, c|c:, Ihe Iime ccme fcr Lee Ic f|y Lcck hcme cnc geI Ihing: in crcer.
8cIh fcr Ihe weccing, c: we|| c: fcr whcIever ccreer Lee wcu|c Le geIIing
inIc.
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170



Lee cnc GiL:cn" Ic|kec cn Ihe phcne every ccy, yeI Ihey c|wcy: fe|I fcr
Icc Lrief. 8uI Lee wc: ju:I g|cc Ic hecr GiL:cn:" vcice cI c||, cfIer
:pencing mcnIh: wiIhcuI hecring iI.

WcnIing Ic Le fincncic||y wi:e, Lee :penI c ccy figuring cuI hcw much Ihe
weccing wc: gcing Ic cc:I. Ihey wcnIec Ic cc iI Ihem:e|ve:, wiIhcuI he|p
frcm Ihe pcrenI:.
/nc Lc:ec cn IhcI, Lee rec|izec IhcI Ihe weccing wcu|c hcve Ic Le
ce|cyec, in crcer Ic cffcrc Ic pcy fcr Ihe weccing. Sc Ihe nexI Iime Lee
:pcke Ic GiL:cn," Lee |eI GiL:cn" kncw.

lI wc: c phcne cc|| IhcI wcu|c chcnge everyIhing.

/LcuI c mcnIh cfIer IhcI phcne cc||, Lee Legcn Ic ncIice IhcI GiL:cn"
wc:nI hcme cI Ihe u:uc| Iime:. ln fccI, GiL:cn" wc:nI :cuncing |ike Ihe
:cme per:cn.
/nc Ihen Lee fcunc cuI why.
During c phcne cc|| IhcI wcu|c :hcIIer Lee fcr week:, GiL:cn" revec|ec
IhcI c frienc" hcc Leccme mcre Ihcn ju:I c frienc, whi|e Lee wc: in
Germcny. /nc Leccu:e Lee :IcIec IhcI Ihe weccing wcu|c neec Ic Le
pc:Ipcnec, GiL:cn" Icck IhcI Ic mecn IhcI Lee wc: hcving :eccnc
IhcughI:. /nc c: c re:u|I, GiL:cn" hcc Leen hcving :ex cgcin wiIh IhcI
frienc."
Lee fe|I |ike Ihe whc|e wcr|c hcc ju:I cumpec iI: fu|| weighI, righI cn Lee:
che:I.
/ cepre::icn :eI in. Cne IhcI wcu|c ccu:e Lee Ic hcve :cme :ericu: Iru:I
i::ue: when iI ccme Ic memLer: cf Ihe cppc:iIe :ex.

Ihe week: Iurnec Ic mcnIh:, cnc Ihen yeI cncIher cne cf Ihc:e :erie: cf
evenI:" hcppenec IhcI Icck Lee: |ife in c new cirecIicn.

lI hcppenec cne ccy whi|e Lee wc: Icking Mcm Ic wcrk. Ycu :ee, Lee
wcu|c crcp cff Mcm, Ihen u:e Ihe ccr Ic gc jcL hunIing.
We||, cn cne cf Ihe:e ccy:, Ihe ccnver:cIicn ccme up cLcuI if Lee wcu|c
ever Le wi||ing Ic Iry Leing in cncIher re|cIicn:hip.
Lee :IcIec IhcI encugh Iime hcc pc:I, :c Ihe pcin wc: ncw Leccming ju:I
cn cnncying :Iing. /nc IhcI if Ihe righI kinc cf per:cn ccme c|cng, Lee
wcu|c ccn:icer cncIher re|cIicn:hip.
Ihen ju:I c: Lee wc: cLcuI Ic crcp Mcm cff, Lee |cckec cver cI :cmecne
wc|king Ly cnc :cic, {IhcI per:cn) |cck: cuIe.
UnLekncwn:I Ic Lee, Mcm knew Ihe per:cn. Sc IhcI nighI, Mcm hcncec
Lee c piece cf pcper.

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171


WhcI: Ihi:" /:kec Lee.

FememLer IhcI {per:cn) ycu :cic |cckec cuIe" rep|iec Mcm. IhcI:
{Iheir) wcrk numLer. {Ihey) :cw ycur mi|iIcry picIure Lefcre, cnc hcc
mcce Ihe ccmmenI IhcI if ycu werenI engcgec {Iheyc) |ike Ic ccIe
ycu."

Ihe per:cn: ncme wc: Fhe:c, c ncme frcm in Ihe 8iL|e.

Ihe nexI ccy, Lee cc||ec Ihe numLer. /nc Lee wi|| never fcrgeI Ihe very
fir:I wcrc: he hecrc Fhe:c :cy.

CWl He||c"

IhcI crcckec Lee up. /ppcrenI|y Fhe:c hcc Lumpec inIc Ihe IcL|e whi|e
picking up Ihe phcne.

Lee, ncI rec||y ccring eiIher wcy, c:kec, Sc, when cre we gcing cuI"

Ihe fc||cwing week, Ihey hcc Iheir fir:I ccIe. /nc iI wc:nI exccI|y
firewcrk:. ln fccI, iI :eemec c: if Ihey hcc very |iII|e in ccmmcn,
pcrIicu|cr|y Iheir :en:e cf humcr.

Ihe weekenc cfIer Ihe ccIe pc::ec. /nc IhcI Mcnccy, Lee cc||ec Fhe:c,
whc wc: :urpri:ec Lee wcnIec Ic gc cuI cgcin. lI wc:nI IhcI Fhe:c
wc:nI inIere:Iec, iI wc: IhcI Fhe:c IhcughI mcyLe Lee wc:nI inIere:Iec.

Ihe :eccnc ccIe wenI in cn necr|y cppc:iIe cirecIicn Ihcn Ihe fir:I, cnc
Ihey encec up hcving c grecI Iime IcgeIher.

FreuenI phcne cc||: en:uec. Ihen |ccccccng phcne cc||:.
/nc cne nighI, Ihey hcc Ic|kec fcr :c |cng, IhcI Ihey cn|y hung up
Leccu:e iI wc: mcrning cnc Ihey cgreec Ic hcve Lreckfc:I IcgeIher.

Lee wc: in |cve cgcin, cnc iI fe|I :c gccc.

8uI Ihere wc: c cifference LeIween Leing in |cve, cnc :cying iI Ic Ihe
per:cn. / fccI IhcI wc: cppcrenI|y Ihe :cme Ihing Fhe:c wc: gcing
Ihrcugh.
Ihen cne evening, whi|e hcving cinner IcgeIher, neiIher wc: much in Ihe
mccc Ic ecI, cue Ic Ihe neec Ic ju:I Icke Ihe chcnce cf ccnfe::ing Iheir
fee|ing:. Ihey |efI Ihe re:IcurcnI cnc pcrkec cn c hi|| necr Ihe cirpcrI, cnc
Legcn Ic Ic|k. UnfcrIuncIe|y, LcIh crcppec hinI:, LuI ccu|cnI mu:Ier Ihe
ccurcge Ic :cy Ihe wcrc:. Sc Ihe nighI encec wiIhcuI Ihe mc:I impcrIcnI
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172


wcrc: Leing :cic.

8uI Ihen ccme Ihe fc||cwing nighI. /nc c|| Lee recc||:, i: :iIIing in Fhe:c:
ccr, in c pcrking |cI, in Feccncc 8ecch, cnc :|cwing Icuching Fhe:c:
hcnc, which wc: cn Ihe hcnc|e cf Ihe gecr :hifI.
Ihey hcc ncI even :c much c: given ecch cIher c gcccnighI ki:: up Ic
Ihi: pcinI, LuI hcc ncw mcce :cme phy:icc| ccnIccI.
Ihey :cI Ihere, enjcying hc|cing ecch cIher: hcnc, cnc Lee :cic, Ihi:
fee|: rec||y nice."
Ihen....iI hcppenec.
/: Lee: eye: meI Fhe:c:, Fhe:c :cic, l |cve ycu."
Ihe wcrc: were Ihen fc||cwec Ly c muIuc||y iniIicIec ki::.

Ihe firewcrk: hcc finc||y gcne cff. /nc c re|cIicn:hip Legcn IhcI wcu|c
|c:I fcr c|mc:I c cecccel

/LcuI c mcnIh inIc Ihe re|cIicn:hip, Lee cnc Fhe:c were cI Lee: hcu:e,
when cn crgumenI :IcrIec LeIween Lee cnc Scncrc. /n crgumenI IhcI
cu|mincIec in Lee cnc Fhe:c |ecving Ihe hcu:e.
Ihe nexI Iime Lee :eI fccI in IhcI hcu:e, iI wc: Ic pick up c|| cf Lee:
per:cnc| Le|cnging:. Lee cnc Fhe:c hcc fcunc cn cpcrImenI cnc
mcvec in IcgeIher.

/ few mcnIh: inIc Ihi: new experience, :cme cf Lee: ccrkne:: hcc
reIurnec. 8uI Ihey :Icyec IcgeIher, Icughing cuI Ihe Lcc ccy:.
Dcy: IhcI :cmeIime: re:u|Iec in phy:icc| cLu:e.

Fhy:icc| cLu:e IhcI ccme frcm Leel

Ihe ccy: were ncI c|wcy: Lcc, Ihcnkfu||y, cnc IcgeIher Ihey fcunc
encugh |cve fcr ecch cIher Ic :eI c weccing ccIe.

/rcunc Ihi: Iime, Lee hcc gcIIen c jcL wcrking fcr c guy ncmec 8ruce,
ccing...we||...iI wc: Lci|er rccm ccIuc||y. Fecp|e whc wcnIec |ccn: wcu|c
cc||, geI pre-uc|ifiec" cnc Le :enI c pcckeI cn cLIcining c |ccn. Ihere
wc: c prcce::ing fee, cf ccur:e, LuI ncI much ccne in Ihe wcy cf
:ecuring cnycne cny |ccn:. lI wc: Lc:icc||y c :ccm.
8uI Lee wc: pu||ing in :cme :ericu: Luck:. Such :ericu: Luck:, IhcI Lee
cnc Fhe:c Icck c|| mcnner cf weekenc vcccIicn: freuenI|y, cIe cuI
necr|y every :ing|e nighI {cnce Ihey hcc gcne 2 week: wiIhcuI hcving
ecIen c :ing|e mec| cI hcme)cnc were cL|e Ic ec:i|y pcy fcr c very
impre::ive weccing.

Sc cn c LecuIifu||y :unny :pring ccy in Ihe mcnIh cf Mcy, Lee cnc Fhe:c
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173


exchcngec weccing vcw: cn cn impre::ive fcrmhcu:e prcperIy IhcI hcc
pecccck: c|| crcunc cnc :hcwing cff Iheir cc|cr:. lI wc: cLcuI c:
:IcryLcck c: rec| |ife ccu|c Le, iI wc: cL:c|uIe|y perfecIl

Ihe hcneymccn wc: in Jcmcicc, c|| crrcngec Ly 8ruce, Lee: Lc::.
Ihe perfecI hcneymccn, Ic Icp cff Ihe perfecI weccing...NCIl
Ycu :ee, cue Ic :cme i::ue: LeIween Lee cnc Fhe:c, Ihey cn|y hcc :ex
CNCE Ihe enIire Iime Ihey were Ihere. IhcI, cnc Lee gcI very :ick frcm c
:ecfccc cinner, IhcI |c:Iec unIi| Ihey LcIh reIurnec Ic /mericc.

Ihing: were gcing c|righI fcr c few mcnIh: inIc Ihe mcrricge. 8uI Ihen, c:
evenIuc||y hcppen:, cn unprepcrec fcr evenI cccurrec.
Cne ccy whi|e Lee wc: cI wcrk, :cme men ccme Ly c:king Ic :peck Ic
8ruce. Ihc:e men :huI Ihe ccmpcny ccwn righI Ihen. NcI cne mcre cc||
wc: c||cwec Ic Le cn:werec, ncI cne mcre cc||cr c||cwec Ic Le
receivec. Ihe huge fincncic| wcve hcc ncw crc:hec.
/nc Lee hcc ncI prepcrec fcr iI. Lee hcc cLcuI $3,000 in Ihe Lcnk, which
wcu|c hcve Leen encugh Ic :urvive cn, hcc Lee ncI gcIIen u:ec Ic cn
expen:ive |ife:Iy|e.
Ihe mcney uick|y criec up, cnc fcr c Iime, Ihey re|iec cn Fhe:c:
pcycheck Ic mcke enc: meeI.
ScmeIhing in Lee hcc c hcrc Iime ccju:Iing Ic c ncrmc|" jcL, :c freuenI
LcuI: cf unemp|cymenI fc||cwec.

Lee cnc Fhe:c hcc Ic mcve Ic c |cwer renI cpcrImenI. /nc cn Icp cf
IhcI, Ihe mcrricge wc: :Ircining. Ihing: were ncI |ccking gccc.

8uI cne ccy in Ihe mcnIh cf June, Lee cnc Fhe:c cecicec Ic :Iick iI cuI,
cnc :Icy mcrriec. IhcI nighI, Ihey mcce |cve, cnc IhcI nighI c
ccncepIicn cccurrec.
ln Ihe fir:I few mcnIh: cf Ihe new yecr, c LcLy wc: Lcrn.

8uI Ihing: Ly Ihi: pcinI hcc Legun Ic rec||y :cur in Ihe mcrricge, :c Lee
cnc Fhe:c :epcrcIec. Lee hcc Lcre|y :pcke Ic Mcm cnc Dcc in mcnIh:,
LuI ncw hcc Ic :wc||cw Ihe c| price, cnc cc|| fcr he|p. Mcm, Scncrc, c: i:
her ncIure, cf ccur:e we|ccmec Lee Lcck wiIh cpen crm:, cnc gcI Lee c
jcL wcrking fcr Ihe :ecuriIy ccmpcny Scncrc wcrkec cI.
Ihing: were kinc cf rccky, Ihen Legcn Ic :mccIh cuI, LuI Ihen Leccme
rccky cgcin, c: new crgumenI: f|crec wiIh c|c wcrc: Leing :cic.

/rcunc Ihi: Iime, Lee hcc Leen keeping in Icuch wiIh Jim, Lee: Lic|cgicc|
fcIher. Sc Ihe cffer Ic ccme |ive wiIh him wc: mcce.
Lee pcckec everyIhing in c whiIe Fcrc E:ccrI, cnc |ike c hi:Icry repecI:
iI:e|f, wcy, Lee mcce Ihe jcurney tc l||inci:, IhcI Scncrc hcc mcce ||cn
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174


l||inci:.

IhcI |c:Iec cLcuI 4 mcnIh:, Ihen cn crgumenI LeIween Lee cnc Jim:
wife, re:u|Iec in Lee reIurning Lcck Ic Cc|ifcrnic.

NcIurc||y Scncrc cnc Dcn hcc :cme cemcnc:, if Lee wc: gcing Ic :Icy
uncer Iheir rccf. /nc fcr cwhi|e, IhcI wenI....we||....ju:I ckcy.

Fhe:c cnc Lee hcc Leen Ic|king, cff cnc cn, Ihrcugh Ihi: enIire Ic l||inci:
cnc Lcck" ccvenIure. /nc Ihey LcIh rec||y wcnIec Ic mcke Iheir
mcrricge wcrk.
Sc Ihe cgreemenI wc:, wiIh Fhe:c c|reccy wcrking, if Lee c|:c gcI c jcL,
Ihey wcu|c geI Iheir cwn p|cce IcgeIher cgcin.
Lee wcnIec Ihi: very much, :c wiIhin ju:I c few ccy:, Lee |cncec c jcL
IhcI wcu|c mcve Lee cnc Fhe:c {cnc cf ccur:e Ihe LcLy) Ic MurrieIc,
Cc|ifcrnic.

Ihing: were kinc cf Lumpy, LuI mcncgecL|e. We||, fcr c |iII|e whi|e
cnywcy.

Ihen ccme c very ccrk ccy in NcvemLer 15. Fhe:c hcc hcc encugh cf
Ihe phy:icc| cLu:e, e:pecic||y crcunc Iheir chi|c, :c Fhe:c cc||ec Ihe
pc|ice, cnc Lee wc: crre:Iec fcr ccme:Iic vic|ence.

Lee: fir:I experience wiIh whcI iI fe|I |ike Ic |c:e ycur freeccm.
UnfcrIuncIe|y fcr Lee, Ihi: wc: ncI Ic Le Ihe |c:I.

/nc whi|e in jci|, cwciIing c Lci| hecring, Ihe cne per:cn Lee never
expecIec Ic ccme vi:iI, ccme Ic give :uppcrI cnc Ic Lci| Lee cuI.
IhcI per:cn wc: Scncrc, Lee: mcm.

She cnc Lee hcc c very in-cepIh ccnver:cIicn cLcuI Ihing:, :pecificc||y,
cLcuI Ihe i::ue: Ihey hcc whi|e Lee wc: grcwing up. /nc iI :eemec c: if
c|| cf IhcI wcu|c ncw Le Lehinc Ihem.

Lee p|ec gui|Iy Ic ccme:Iic vic|ence, cnc hcc Ic cc :ix mcnIh: cf cnger
mcncgemenI, cnc ccmmuniIy :ervice. 8uI Ihe Ligge:I penc|Iy fcr Lee:
ccIicn: ccme in 2 fcrm:: Fhe:c fi|ec fcr civcrce, cnc wcnIec :c|e cu:Iccy
cf Iheir chi|c.
Lee knew Ihere were Ihing: Lee hcc Ic wcrk cn, cnc IhcI mcyLe iI wcu|c
Le fcr Ihe Le:I. /: Lee puI: iI, l hcc :cme :ericu: grcwing up Ic cc, cnc
:cme cnger Ic cec| wiIh. /nger IhcI cicnI hcppen cvernighI, :c iI wc:nI
gcing Ic Le puI uncer ccnIrc| cvernighI. Fhe:c wcu|c ccme vi:iI cn
c|IerncIe weekenc:, :c l ccu|c :ee {my chi|c) cnc we wcu|c cc Ihing: |ike
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175


c fcmi|y. lI :eemec Ic Le Ihe Le:I Ihing, even Ihcugh iI wc: hcrc ncI
hcving my {chi|c) Ihere every ccy cnc every nighI."

/rcunc Ihi: Iime, ycu gue::ec iI, c :erie: cf evenI: wcu|c Icke Lee inIc yeI
cncIher cirecIicn in |ife.

Lee hcc c|wcy: |cvec wriIing, cnc wc: geIIing Iirec cf Ihe |imiIec memcry
:pcce cn Ihe pcrIcL|e wcrc prcce::cr. Sc Lee fcunc c grecI cec| cn c
uc|iIy ccmpuIer, cnc wc: :ccn wriIing cwcy wiIhcuI fecr cf |cck cf
memcry. Ihen, Ihrcugh c frienc whc wc: exce||enI wiIh ccmpuIer:, Lee
gcI c mccem in:Ic||ec cnc wc: :ignec up fcr inIerneI :ervice.

Lee hcc never Leen cne Ic :iI in frcnI cf Ihe IV c|| nighI, LuI Ihere wc:
cne :hcw Lee never mi::ec. IhcI :hcw wc: Ihe X-Fi|e:." Sc imcgine Lee:
:urpri:e when c chcI rccm ceciccIec exc|u:ive|y Ic IhcI :hcw, wc:
cvci|cL|e Ihrcugh Ihe inIerneI prcvicer Lee hcc.
Cn Ihe :eccnc nighI Lee wc: in Ihe chcI rccm, Lee Legcn ccnver:ing
wiIh Iwc :pecific pecp|e Ihe mc:I. Cne wc: :ericu:|y impre::ec Ly Lee:
wiI, Ihe cIher wc: impre::ec Ly Lee: memcry cf pcpu|cr |ine: frcm Ihe IV
:hcw.
/: fcIe wcu|c hcve iI, Ihe cne impre::ec Ly Lee: wiI, Ihe cne Lee hcc
Leen Ic|king Ic Ihe mc:I, :uccen|y Leccme Iurnec cff when Lee revec|ec
hcving IcIIcc:.
Ihe cne impre::ec Ly Lee: memcry, hcc cifferenI hcur: Ihcn Lee, :c Ihey
cn|y gcI Ic rec||y chcI |cIe cI nighI, cfIer Lee wc: cff wcrk, cnc Ihe cIher
per:cn wc: eiIher geIIing reccy fcr wcrk, cr hcc Icken Iheir |cpIcp Ic
wcrk. Lee hcc fcunc Ihi: per:cn Ic Le uiIe inIe||igenI, cnc very funny, yeI
cI Ihe :cme Iime, very ccuIicu:.

WiIhin c mcnIh, Ihey were Ic|king cn Ihe phcne, c: we|| c: Ic|king"
cn|ine. /nc :cmeIhing cLcuI Ihi: per:cn rec||y ccughI Lee: cIIenIicn.
Ihi: per:cn: ncme, wc: Fene. Ihing: Legcn Ic hecI up, c: Lee cnc Fene
Legcn Ic engcge in phcne :ex. /nc c: Fene wcu|c Ie|| Lee |cIer, Lee:
cLi|iIy Ic Le :c ce:cripIive in :uch c :en:uc| vcice, mcce iI :eem :c
cmczing.

Lee wc: rcpic|y {Ic Lee: cwn cmczemenI) fc||ing in |cve. Fene :eemec
un|ike cnycne e|:e IhcI Lee hcc ever kncwn. Fene :eemec Ic hcve Ihi:
ncIurc| cLi|iIy Ic engcge in ceep inIe||ecIuc| ccnver:cIicn:, cnc iI never
:eemec fcrcec, ncr :eemec c: if Fene wc: fcking iI Ic impre:: Lee. /nc
whi|e ccuIicu:, Lee fe|I IhcI Fene wc: Leing genuine, cnc :cmeIhing ju:I
rec||y c|ickec.

Cne nighI, curing c phcne ccnver:cIicn, Lee Icck ccvcnIcge cf Ihe
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:cfeIy cf Leing :epcrcIec Ly c phcne |ine, cnc ccnfe::ec Ic fc||ing in
|cve wiIh Fene.
Fene wc: ncI c: ecger Ic reIurn Ihe :enIimenI. ln fcce, Fene: rep|y wc:,
LeI: :|cw Ihing: ccwn fcr ncw."
Fene :cic IhcI Ihere were :cme Ihing: Lee hcc Ic kncw cLcuI Fene fir:I,
cne Ihing in pcrIicu|cr IhcI wcu|c neec Ic Le kncwn if Ihing: were gcing
Ic ccvcnce.
Fir:I, Fene revec|ec Ic Le cLcuI 30 pcunc: cverweighI.
Ic which Lee rep|iec, l ccnI ccre. lve c|reccy fc||en in |cve wiIh ycu."
Ihere wc: cecc :i|ence cn Ihe phcne fcr whcI :eemec cn eIerniIy Ic Lee.
Ihen, in cn c|mc:I whi:perec Icne, Fene, c:kec, /re ycu fcr rec|"
Lee wc: fcr rec|, cnc :cic :c.
Ihcugh Fene cic ncI ccme righI cuI cnc :cy iI, Lee figurec cuI whcI Ihe
Lig :ecreI" wc: IhcI wc: impcrIcnI fcr Lee Ic kncw, if Ihey were rec||y
gcing Ic ccvcnce Ihing:.

Fene, wc: c virgin.

Lee: reccIicn wc:, Ihen we ccn Icke iI :|cw. lm in nc hurry Ic mcke Ihi:
phy:icc||y :exuc|. l |ike Ihe phcne :ex, iI: c grecI primer fcr when Ihe ccy
ccme:, if Ihe ccy ccme:, when we ccIuc||y cc c|| Ihe Ihing: we :cy cn
Ihe phcne Ic ecch cIher."

Lee: ncI :ure whcI nighI iI hcppenec, LuI Ihere wc: cne nighI IhcI |efI
Lee cL:c|uIe|y cnc IcIc||y :peech|e:: fcr cn unkncwn |engIh in Iime.
Up Ic Ihi: pcinI, when Ihey were cLcuI Ic hcng up frcm Iheir phcne
ccnver:cIicn, when Lee wcu|c :cy, l |cve ycu." Fene wcu|c c|wcy:
cn:wer, DiIIc."
Hcwever cn cne pcrIicu|cr nighI, curing Iheir phcne ccnver:cIicn, Fene
:cic, l wc: Ic|king Ic my frienc: cLcuI ycu, cnc l rec|izec :cmeIhing."

Fec||y" /:kec Lee. WhcI: IhcI"

Fene rep|iec, l rec|ize IhcI l cn fc||ing in |cve wiIh ycu."

Lee recc||: IhcI mcmenI cnc :cy:, When Fene :cic IhcI, iI wc: c: if my
whc|e Lccy hcc Leen :Iruck Ly |ighIning. lm ncI cne Ic Le cI c |c:: fcr
wcrc:. 8uI when Fene :cic IH/I, everyIhing crcunc me cnc in my minc,
wenI ccmp|eIe|y :i|enI. Ihen cfIer, l ccnI kncw hcw |cng, l :cic Ic Fene,
'Scy IhcI cgcin."

Fene :cic, lm in |cve wiIh ycu."

Sccn cfIerwcrc:, Lee cnc Fene mci|ec phcIc: cf Ihem:e|ve: Ic ecch
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177


cIher. /nc upcn |ccking cI Ihe phcIc:, Lee wc: cmczec IhcI Fene |cckec
exccI|y |ike he IhcughI Fene wcu|c, cnc even c |iII|e mcre cIIrccIive Ihcn
expecIec.

Lee hcc mcce Ihe ceci:icn Ic vi:iI Fene. lI wc: c ri:ky mcve, e:pecic||y
:ince Lee wc: in Cc|ifcrnic cnc Fene |ivec in Chiccgc. Lee hcc hecrc Ihe
hcrrcr :Icrie: cLcuI hcw few |cng ci:Icnce re|cIicn:hip: wcrk.
8uI Lee cicnI ccre. Lee ref|ecI: Lcck cn IhcI cnc :cy:, l cicnI ccre if
{Fene) cnc l |c:Iec cr ncr, l :imp|y ncc Ic :ee Ihi: {per:cn) whc hcc L|cwn
me cwcy cnc Icken my hecrI Lefcre l ever even knew whcI {Fene)
|cckec |ike."

Sc cn SepIemLer 2Ih, Lee: p|cne Icuchec ccwn in Micwcy /irpcrI, cnc
Lee purpc:e|y mcce :ure Ic Le cne cf Ihe |c:I per:cn: cff Ihe p|cne.
/: Lee :IcIe:, l fe|I :uch cn inIen:e energy, :uch cn inIen:e cnIicipcIicn
in :eeing Fene fcce Ic fcce fcr Ihe fir:I Iime, IhcI l wcnIec Ic |eI iI gc cn
fcr c: |cng c: pc::iL|e. Ihere wc: cn|y cne wcy l wcu|c hcve Leen
ci:cppcinIec, cnc IhcI: if {Fene) hcc ncI :hcwn up. l cicnI give c ccmn
if {Fene) hcc :enI me :cmecne e|:e: picIure:, c: |cng c: Ihe Fene l hcc
Leen Ic|king Ic wc: Ihe Fene IhcI wc: wciIing fcr me cI Ihe cirpcrI."

Lee :Ieppec cuI cf Ihe p|cne....wc|kec ccwn Ihe ccrriccr IhcI :eemec Ic
never enc...cnc :cw Fene :Icncing cgcin:I Ihe wc||, wecring c Iuruci:e
cnc L|cck jcckeI, L|cck pcnI:, cnc VEFY |cng L|cck hcir.
/: Lee cpprccchec, c Ihcu:cnc IhcughI: rcn Ihrcugh Lee: minc, LuI nc
cne e|:e exi:Iec in Ihe enIire cirpcrI.
Ihey wc|kec c|c:e...cnc c|c:er Icwcrc ecch cIher...cnc cnce fcce Ic
fcce, Fene gcve Lee cn immecicIe, pc::icncIe, megc-e|ecIrifying, ki::.

Ihey wc|kec cver Ic :cme :ecI: cI c c|c:ec Lccrcing gcIe, :cI ccwn,
cnc ju:I he|c hcnc:, c: Ihey ccu|c ncI Icke Iheir eye: cff ecch cIher.

Ihi: fee|: :c :Ircnge." Scic Fene.

8uI :c wcncerfu|." Fep|iec Lee.

Ihey :cI Ihere fcr :everc| minuIe:, |eIIing Ihi: mcmenI :cck in gccc.

Finc||y, Ihey gcI up cnc wenI Ic Lcggcge c|cim, cnc wciIec fcr Lee:
|uggcge wc: Leing un|cccec.

Lee :cy:, Whi|e we wciIec fcr my |uggcge Ic ccme cuI, Fene gcve me
Ihe mc:I cmczing ki::. l mecn, IhcI ki::, wc: :c ccmp|eIe|y minc L|cwing,
IhcI l ccIuc||y recc|| :cying Ic my:e|f, 'l hcve fcunc my :cu| mcIe. Ihere:
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178


nc pc::iL|e wcy l ccn ce:criLe Ihe ki::, excepI Ic :cy IhcI Ic Ihi: ccy, IhcI
ki:: hc: yeI Ic Le Icppecl"

Ihe |uggcge wc: reIrievec, cnc cff Ic Fene: ccr Ihey wenI. Micwcy
cirpcrI wc: crcunc 30 minuIe: frcm where Ihey were gcing.
Lee :Icrec cI Fene Ihe enIire Iime, cnc wc: cL:c|uIe|y enIrcncec.

EvenIuc||y, Ihey checkec inIc c hcIe| rccm IhcI Fene hcc re:ervec. 8uI
Ihey cicnI :Icy in Ihe rccm cny |cnger Ihcn iI Icke: Ic crcp cff Lee:
|uggcge cnc Fene: cvernighI Lcg. Ihen Ihey wenI Ic c Chine:e
re:IcurcnI IhcI wc: nexI cccr.
Lee wc: :Icrving fcr fccc, LuI encec up ju:I picking cI Ihe fccc. /nc
Fene wc: ccIing Ihe exccI :cme wcy. Sc LcIh cf Ihem encec up ecIing
very |iII|e cnc were ecger Ic geI Lcck Ic Ihe HcIe| rccm.

Cnce Lcck cI Ihe HcIe| rccm, iI wc: cLvicu: whcI wc: cLcuI Ic hcppen.
Fene grcLLec Ihe cvernighI Lcg, cnc wenI inIc Ihe LcIhrccm. Lee |inec
Ihe rccm wiIh ccnc|e:, |cic ccwn cn Ihe Lec, cnc wciIec fcr Fene Ic
emerge frcm Ihe LcIhrccm.

When Fene ccme cuI cf Ihe LcIhrccm, Ihe vi:icn cf Fene, cre::ec cn|y in
c :i|ky :cpphire L|ue pcjcmc Icp, ccup|ec wiIh Ihe f|icker cf Ihe ccnc|e:
:cfI g|cw, fi||ec Lee wiIh cwe.
Fene genI|y c|imLec cnIc Ihe Lec, cnc Ihey Legcn Ic ki::. ScfI|y cI fir:I,
Ihen prcgre::ive|y mcre pc::icncIe.
Fene Ihen |cic ccwn cn Ihe Lec, cnc c: Ihey ccnIinuec Ic ki::, Lee :|cw|y
Legcn Ic unLuIIcn Fene: Icp...cne...LuIIcn...cI..c Iime. Whi:pering, We
hcve c|| nighI, :c we ccn Icke iI :|cw."

Nc neec Ic gc inIc Ihe ceIci|: cf whcI hcppenec IhcI nighI, lm :ure ycu
ccn imcgine cn ycur cwn.

Ihe remcincer cf Ihe Iime Lee wc: in Chiccgc wiIh Fene, wc:, c: Lee puI:
iI, /: if l hcc fc||en in |cve fcr Ihe very fir:I Iime. lI wc: inIen:e cnc
cmczing, mcre Ihcn l ever expecIec."

Cn Iheir |c:I nighI IcgeIher, Fene hcc re:ervec c rccm cI c |cver:
hcIe|." Cne cf Ihc:e p|cce: wiIh mirrcr: cn Ihe cei|ing, pcrn p|cying cn Ihe
IV, c Jccuzzi IuL, cnc c :ex :wing.
IhcI nighI, Lee mcce c prcmi:e Ic Fene. Lee prcmi:ec Ic Le Lcck.
/nc Ic :hcw ju:I hcw :incere Ihe wcrc: were, Lee Icck cff c very :pecic|
neck|cce, cnc puI iI crcunc Fene: neck.

Lee hcc wcrn IhcI neck|cce fcr yecr:, cnc Ihi: wc: Ihe fir:I Iime Lee hcc
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179


ever remcvec iI. Lee wc: very much in |cve, cnc hcc high hcpe: fcr Ihi:
new re|cIicn:hip.

Ihe mcrning ccme, cnc Lee wc: :ccn cn c f|ighI Lcck Ic Cc|ifcrnic.

Lee cnc Fene :pcke every :ing|e ccy. Which pre:enIec c prcL|em fcr
Lee, whc necr|y |c:I phcne :ervice cue Ic c Li|| IhcI ccme Ic crcunc
$1,000lll
lI wc: muIuc||y cgreec IhcI Fene, whc wcrkec in Ihe mecicc| fie|c, ccu|c
cffcrc Ihe cc||: LeIIer Ihcn Lee ccu|c. Sc Lee wcu|c cc|| cnce in cwhi|e,
LuI Fene cc||ec every ccy.

Sc frcm Ihe Leginning cf CcIcLer, Ihrcugh c|| cf NcvemLer, cnc inIc
DecemLer, Ihe re|cIicn:hip grew :Ircnger.
Sc much :Ircnger, IhcI when Fene ccme Ic vi:iI Lee in DecemLer, Lee
hcc c :urpri:e wciIing.
/: Ihey wciIec fcr Fene: |uggcge Ic ccme ccwn frcm Lcggcge c|cim,
Lee Icck cuI c ring, cnc :cic Ic Fene...

l rec|ize Ihi: mighI Le c :Ircnge p|cce fcr whcI lm cLcuI Ic cc. 8uI iI:
ccIuc||y Ihe icec| p|cce, ccn:icering IhcI cmczing ki:: ycu gcve me cI
Lcggcge c|cim when we fir:I meI. Ever :ince IhcI ki::, ycuve impre::ec
me mcre cnc mcre. /nc ecch ccy :ince, lve fcunc rec:cn: Ic fc|| in |cve
wiIh ycu c|| cver cgcin. Sc, whi|e Ihi: mighI :eem c |iII|e unu:uc|, iI:
:cmeIhing l wcnI Ic cc very much. Fene, wi|| ycu mcrry me"

Fene :cic, Ye:."

/nc :c Legcn cn engcgemenI IhcI wcu|c cffecI Lee in wcy: IhcI wcu|c
|inger fcr mcny, mcny, yecr:.

IhcI fc||cwing June, Lee f|ew Ic Chiccgc. 8uI iI wc: ncI ju:I Ic vi:iI Fene. lI
wc: c|:c Ic ccccmpcny Fene, whc wc: |cccing up c mcving vcn cnc
ccming Ic |ive wiIh Lee in Cc|ifcrnic.

Ihe cpcrImenI Lee hcc wc: :mc||, LuI Ihey mcncgec. Fene hcc LrcughI
CIhe||c" c LecuIifu| c||-L|cck ccI, cnc :ince Lee |cvec ccI:, iI wc: c nice
|iII|e :IcrI cf c fcmi|y.

Ihing: were ccmp|eIe L|i:: cI fir:I. 8uI IhcI wc: ncI Ic |c:I.

Cne ccy, upcn reIurning hcme frcm wcrk, Lee fcunc Fene :iIIing cn Ihe
ccuch, cngry.

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180


WhcI: wrcng" Lee c:kec.

l ju:I :penI c|| ccy c|ecning. Dc ycu ever c|ecn ycur LcIhrccm" Fene
re:pcncec.

Cf ccur:e l cc. WhcI: wrcng Why cre ycu Leing :c cngry"

8eccu:e l ccnI |ike c me::y p|cce."

WhcI CcrrecI me if lm wrcng, LuI when l ccme Ic vi:iI ycu Ihe fir:I
Iime, ycur rccm wc: c me::, c: wc: ycur |iving rccm, c: wc: ycur
LcIhrccm. Sc whcI Ihe he|| cre ycu Ic|king cLcuI"

IhcI wc: cifferenI. l gue:: :ince lve never |ivec cn my cwn Lefcre, l
never IhcughI cLcuI hcw c|ecn l |ike my p|cce Ic Le."

We||, nc Lig cec|, l|| he|p."

lI: c Lig cec| Ic MEl"

WhcI l mecn, i: IhcI iI: ncI wcrIh geIIing :c cngry cver. Ycu vcicec ycur
ccncern cnc ycur ce:ire Ic hcve c c|ecn p|cce. Sc we|| keep iI c|ecn, nc
Lig cec|."

lIS / 8lG DE/L IC MEl"

Ihi: |ecc Ic cne Lig crgumenI. /nc c: much c: Lee Iriec Ic keep Ihe
cnger in check cnc ncI L|cw up, iI L|ew up cnywcy.
Lee punchec Fene in Ihe mcuIh.
Lee fu||y expecIec c kncckccwn crcg cuI fighI...LuI Fene ju:I cc|m|y
wc|kec inIc Ihe cpcrImenI cnc :cic, Why cc ycu {gencer) c|wcy: cim
fcr Ihe mcuIh" Ihen cc||ec Ihe pc|ice.

Ihi: WCULD hcve Leen Lee: :eccnc crre:I fcr ccme:Iic vic|ence, LuI Ihe
pc|ice never crrivec.
Lee ccn:icerec Ihi: c gifI. / gifI IhcI wc: ncI Ic Le Icken |ighI|y. Lee :wcre
Ic Fene Ic never :Irike Fene cgcin.

Ihing: were ncI perfecI ncw, ncr wcu|c Ihey ever Le, LuI Lee cnc Fene
:Icyec IcgeIher.

Ihen cne ccy, Fene crcppec c LcmL:he|| cn Lee: Fene wcnIec Ic mcve
cuI.

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181


Lee wc: hurI, LuI Fene c::urec Lee IhcI iI hcc nc Lecring cn Iheir
re|cIicn:hip, IhcI Fene wc: ncI wcnIing cuI. Fene ju:I wcnIec c :epcrcIe
p|cce Ic |ive.

Lee wc: uncer:Icncing, cnc even wenI wiIh Fene Ic gc cpcrImenI
hunIing. /fIer |ccking cI c ccup|e cf p|cce:, Fene fcunc c :pccicu: Iwc
Lecrccm, which even hcc c firep|cce.
lI wc: cn|y c few mi|e: cwcy frcm Lee, :c whi|e Lee wc: :cc Ic ncI Le
wcking up Ic Fene every mcrning cnymcre, cI |ec:I Ihey were :Ii||
IcgeIher.

/: Ihey |efI Ihe ccmp|ex IhcI Fene wcu|c ncw Le |iving in, Fene c:kec
:cmeIhing IhcI :hcckec Lee.
Fene c:kec, WcnI Ic mcve in wiIh me"

Lee wc: :urpri:ec, cnc c:kec, 8uI, l IhcughI ycu wcnIec Ic |ive cn ycur
cwn."

Fene rep|iec, WhcIever hcppen:, we|| gc Ihrcugh iI IcgeIher."

/nc :c inIc Ihe :pccicu: Iwc Lecrccm Ihey mcvec.

Ihey hcc Iheir crgumenI:, cnc Lcc ccy:, LuI Lee never cnce |eI Ihe
cnger grcw Ic vic|ence.

Hcwever, Leccu:e cf :cme per:cnc| i::ue: IhcI :Ii|| |ingerec in Lee, Lee
:Icyec :Iuck in c jcL IhcI wc: fcr remcvec frcm whcI Lee wc: ccpcL|e
cf. /nc Ihi: Legcn Ic chcnge hcw Fene :cw Lee.

8y Ihi: Iime, Fene: pcrenI: hcc mcvec cuI cf Chiccgc, cnc were |iving in
/rizcnc. Sc cfIer Fene: mcm ccme Ic vi:iI, Fene wenI Ic /rizcnc fcr c
week. /nc :cmeIhing in IhcI week chcngec Ihing: fcr Fene.
/: Fene cnc Lee Ic|kec cn Ihe phcne cne ccy, Fene :IcIec IhcI Ihey
neecec Ic Ic|k when Fene reIurnec hcme.
Lee cI fir:I fecrec Ihe wcr:I, IhcI Fene hcc meI :cmecne e|:e.
UncL|e Ic wciI fcr Fene: reIurn, Lee pre::ec Fene Ic Ic|k cLcuI iI cver Ihe
phcne.
Fene finc||y :cic, l ccnI wcnI Ic geI mcrriec."

Wh...Ycu ccnI Why ncI"

We||, fcr cne Ihing, ycu :eem Ic |cck cmLiIicn."

l :ee."
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182



We|| :Ii|| Le IcgeIher, l ccnI wcnI cuI cf Ihe re|cIicn:hip. l ju:I ccnI wcnI
Ic mcrry ycu."

Lee wc: hurI, very hurI. Fene hcc Lc:icc||y :cic ycu|| never cmcunI Ic
cnyIhing" LuI in cifferenI wcrc:. /I |ec:I, IhcI: hcw Lee inIerpreIec iI. Sc
in Lee: minc, Ihe Iwc mc:I impcrIcnI pecp|e in Lee: |ife, Mcm cnc Fene,
hcc :cic Lee wcu|c never cmcunI Ic cnyIhing.

Ihi: Legcn :cmeIhing in:ice cf Lee IhcI wcu|c chcnge Ihe re:I cf Lee:
|ife. NcI cncIher cne cf Ihc:e :erie: cf evenI:" Ihing:, LuI :cmeIhing |ike
iI.
Lee Legcn Ic|king Ic cIher pecp|e cn|ine. /nc e-mci|ing pecp|e cn|ine.
/nc Ic|king cn Ihe phcne wiIh pecp|e Lee meI cn|ine.
Ihen cne ccy, Lee ccme hcme Ic finc Fene in c very :Ircnge mccc.

Ycu ckcy" Lee c:kec.

l wc: c|ecning up Icccy. /nc Ihen l cecicec Ic empIy cuI my unwcnIec
e-mci| fi|e:. l gue:: l mu:I hcve ccce::ec Ihe wrcng :creen ncme, cnc l
fcunc :cmeIhing l ccnI Ihink l wcnI mecnI Ic finc."

Fene hcc fcunc :cvec ccpie: cf Ihe e-mci|: Lee hcc :enI Ic cIher
pecp|e. Cne cf which encec wiIh |cIer, :weeIne::."

SweeIne::. IhcI: whcI Lee cc||ec Fene.

Ycu cc||ec {Ihi: per:cn) 'SweeIne::. lM SweeIne::l"

/nc in c mcmenI IhcI Lee |cck: Lcck cn ncw, cnc :ericu:|y regreI:, Lee
|iec Ic Fene. Lee :cic IhcI :cme crczy per:cn whc hcc Leen Lugging Lee
cn|ine, mu:I hcve figurec cuI Lee: pc::wcrc, cnc crecIec Ihc:e e-mci|:
Ic ccu:e IrcuL|e.

WheIher Fene cccepIec IhcI cn:wer, cr knew Lee wc: |ying, mcce nc
cifference. Fene wc: geIIing Iirec cf Ihe :Irife.

lm Lrecking up wiIh ycu." Fene :cic.

Lee wc: expecIing Ihi: ccy Ic ccme, :c :urpri:ing|y Lee wc: ncI :hcckec.

lm gcing Ic Le mcving cuI. l wcnI Ic geI c hcme." Fene revec|ec.

Fcr c few ccy: Ihere, iI :eemec c: if Ihi: wc: Ihe enc cf Ihe re|cIicn:hip.
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183



8uI, c: iI Iurnec cuI, ncIhing ccIuc||y chcngec.

Fene cnc Lee :Ii|| hcc :ex wiIh ju:I ecch cIher, Ihey :penI virIuc||y every
wcking mcmenI IcgeIher, cnc Fene ccIuc||y inviIec Lee Ic cnce cgcin
mcve in wiIh Fene. lnIc Fene: Ihree Lecrccm hcu:e.

Ihi: hcu:e wcu|c Le Ihe |c:I Iime Lee cnc Fene |ivec IcgeIher.

Lee hcc cgreec Ic finc cncIher p|cce Ic |ive Ly IhcI SepIemLer. ln Ihe
mecnIime, Ihing: :Icyec Ihe :cme.
We||, c|mc:I.
Icking Ic hecrI whcI Fene hcc :cic, cLcuI Lee hcving nc cmLiIicn, Lee
uiI Ihe jcL Lee hcc wcrkec cI fcr c|mc:I 5 yecr:, cnc gcI inIc :c|e:.
VcccIicn Cwner:hip" wc: Ihe cfficic| ncme cf whcI Lee :c|c, LuI iI wc:
ju:I c fcncy ncme fcr Iime :hcre."

Ihi: Iurnec cuI Ic Le c grecI Ihing cI fir:I.
Lee wc: Lringing in c |cI mcre mcney, cnc Fene wc: ncIicing IhcI mcyLe
Lee DlD hcve cmLiIicn cfIer c||. Fene ccmirec hcw Lee ccu|c fcce Ihe
rejecIicn IhcI hcppen: in c :c|e: pc:iIicn. Fene wcu|c hcve c Icugh Iime
in c :c|e: jcL, :c Ihi: ccu:ec Lee Ic |cck c |iII|e mcre cIIrccIive cgcin in
Fene: eye:.

UnfcrIuncIe|y, Ihe :c|e: jcL hcc c mcnIh|y ucIc. lf ycu cic ncI mcke Ihe
ucIc, ycu cic ncI hcve c jcL Ihere cnymcre. Fericc.
Lee hcc ccne ju:I fine Ihe fir:I few mcnIh:. /nc ju:I when iI :eemec c: if
Lee wcu|c cgcin mcke Ihe mcnIh|y ucIc, c cu:Icmer ccnce||ec. Cne
cu:Icmer, cnc IhcI wc: c|| iI Icck.
Lee mi::ec Ihe ucIc, cnc wc: firec.

Ihi: wc: Ihe fir:I Iime Lee hcc Leen firec. /|| Ihe cIher jcL: Lee hcc eiIher
uiI, cr Ihe ccmpcny :huI ccwn.

/|reccy hcving |cw :e|f e:Ieem, ccup|ec wiIh c re|cIicn:hip IhcI wc:
weck, cnc ncw hcving Leen firec, Lee Legcn c cepre::icn IhcI wcu|c
re:u|I in Lee ccing :cme cumL Ihing:.

Fcr :IcrIer:, wiIh nc jcL, cnc Ihe ccr in:urcnce hcving Leen ccnce||ec,
Lee wc: uncL|e Ic renew Ihe ccr Icg:.
Sc in:Iecc cf ju:I geIIing cncIher jcL, Lee ju:I :Ic|e Fene: ccr Icg:.
Ihen Lee Legcn u:ing Fene: creciI ccrc cn|ine wiIhcuI permi::icn.
Cne pcrIicu|cr Ihing Lee purchc:ec, wcu|c re:u|I |cIer in Lee Leccming
uiIe pcpu|cr, cnc even cppecring cn Ie|evi:icn.
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184


8uI IhcI ccme: up |cIer.

ScmeIhing inIere:Iing hcppenec in Lee': |ife, crcunc Ihe mcnIh cf Mcy.

Lee: Mcm hcc Leen Ic|king Ic c frienc cf her: frcm wcrk, :cmecne whc
wcrkec in cver:ec: :ecuriIy ccnIrccI:, ncmec Vicki.
Vicki hcc Leen impre::ec wiIh Lee: wcrk eIhic when Lee wcrkec fcr Ihe
ccmpcny, Lcck when Lee cnc Fhe:c were :epcrcIec. Vicki cfferec Lee c
pc:iIicn. / pc:iIicn which mecnI Ircve|, grecI pcy, cnc c wcy fcr Lee Ic
geI cuI cf ceLI.

Lee wenI fcr iI.

Sc c mcnIh |cIer, Lee wc: cn c p|cne, heccec fcr Chinc.
Lee hcc pre-wriIIen :cme check:, cnc c:kec Fene Ic mci| Ihem cn Ihe
ccIe: :pecifiec cn Ihe pc:I-iI:. Check: IhcI inc|ucec Ihe :IcrI cf
repcymenI cf Ihe $5,000 Lee cwec Fene cver Ihe ccur:e cf Iheir
re|cIicn:hip. Ihi: wc: c|:c Ihe Iime when Lee cnc Fene cgreec IhcI Lee
wcu|c Le mcving cuI fcr gccc. Ihey wcu|c remcin frienc: wiIh LenefiI:"
LuI Ihey wcu|c ncI Le Lcyfrienc/gir|frienc cnymcre, cnc c|:c ncI |iving
IcgeIher.

Lee wc: ncw cn Ihe cIher :ice cf Ihe p|cneI, cnc iI fe|I gccc.

NcIurc||y, Lee mi::ec Fene very much. 8uI Lee knew Ihey wcu|c :ee ecch
cIher in :ix week:.

Lee Icck ccvcnIcge cf Ihe Iime in Chinc. Ihere were :ighI: Ic :ee, cnc c
new cu|Iure Ic experience. Lee wc: hcving cn cmczing Iime.

Upcn Lee: reIurn, Ihe fir:I Ihing cn Ihe cgencc wc: Ic vi:iI Fene.
Much :ex wc: hcc, cnc Ihey were enjcying Ihi: :pecic| frienc:hip.

/rcunc Ihi: Iime, Lee hcc Legun receiving grcup e-mci|:" which were
fe||cw cu:Icmer: cf c :exuc| per:uc:icn prccucI. Ihe ccmpcny hcc c
|i:I" cnc when ycu u:ec c :pecic| e-mci| cccre::, iI wc: :enI Ic everycne
cn Ihe |i:I. Cu:Icmer: ccu|c chcI cnc :hcre experience: cnc cffer ccvice.
We||, Lee hcc c|wcy: |cvec Ic wriIe. Sc Lee wcu|c wriIe :Icrie: IhcI
inc|ucec cpp|iccIicn: cf Ihe Iechniue: :ugge:Iec in Ihe prccucI.
Lee: :Icrie: Leccme uiIe pcpu|cr wiIh Ihe cIher: cn Ihe |i:I, cnc ccughI
Ihe cIIenIicn cf Ihe crecIcr cf Ihe prccucI, c guy ncmec Fcu|.
Ihe nexI Ihing Lee knew, Fcu| exIencec cn cffer Ic meeI in per:cn.
Lee wc: L|cwn cwcyl

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185


ln c :hcrI pericc cf Iime, Lee wenI frcm Leing Ihi: cepre::ec per:cn wiIh
nc c|ecr cirecIicn, Ic Leing :cmecne pecp|e Iriec very hcrc Ic meeI in
per:cn. Ihere wc: c :emincr Fcu| wc: hcving in SepIemLer, cnc Lee wc:
inviIec Ic :peck cI Ihe :emincr.

8uI |eI: Lcck up c mcnIh, fcr c mcmenI.

ln /ugu:I, Lee wc: |iving Lcck wiIh Mcm cnc Dcc, cnc Fene wc: c
huncrec mi|e: cwcy, |iving in Ihe hcu:e Fene hcc LcughI.

Cne nighI, whi|e Fene wc: cI wcrk, Fene: hcu:e wc: Lrcken inIc, cnc
:everc| Ihing: were :Ic|en.
/I fir:I, Fene cccu:ec Lee cf Ihe Lreck in. 8uI wiIh Lee hcving crcunc
wiIne::e: Ic Lee: wherecLcuI: IhcI nighI, cnc Ihe unrec|i:Iic ccc: cf Lee
hcving Ihe Iime cnc cppcrIuniIy frcm c huncrec mi|e: cwcy, Fene finc||y
Le|ievec Lee wc: innccenI.
Scc|y, cne cf Ihe iIem: :Ic|en, wc: c :pecic| :Iuffec cnimc| Lee hcc given
Ic Fene.
Lee fe|I IhcI cfIer everyIhing Lee hcc puI Fene Ihrcugh, p|u: hcving Ihe
hcu:e Lrcken inIc, Ihe |ec:I Lee ccu|c cc wc: rep|cce Ihe Lecr.
Fene cicnI wcnI Lee Ic, LuI Lee cic iI cnywcy.
lI wc: c ceci:icn IhcI wcu|c Le u:ec cgcin:I Lee necr|y Iwc yecr: |cIer, in
c ccurI cf |cw.

/LcuI c week cr :c cfIer Ihe Lreck in, Lee cnc Mcm hcc gcIIen inIc
cncIher Lig fighI. Which re:u|Iec in Lee mcving cuI yeI cgcin.
WiIh ju:I cver $500 in Lee: pcckeI, Lee wenI Lcck Ic Ihe crec IhcI hcc
c|wcy: fe|I Ihe mc:I ccmfcrIcL|e. /nc iI hcppenec Ic Le Ihe very :cme
crec where Fene |ivec. Since Lee :Ii|| hcc :cme prcperIy cI Fene: hcu:e,
Lee cc||ec cnc |efI c me::cge fcr Fene, |eIIing Fene kncw Lee wc: in
Icwn, cnc wcnIec Ic cccrcincIe c ccy fcr Lee Ic ccme geI Ihe prcperIy.
/ ccy cnc Iime were :eI, cnc Lee wc: LcIh hcppy Ic :ee Fene cgcin, LuI
c|:c :cc IhcI Ihing: were preIIy much cver LeIween Ihem.
/: Lee cnc Fene :Iccc in Fene: gcrcge, Fene c:kec Lee :cmeIhing IhcI
IcIc||y ccughI Lee cff gucrc.
Fene c:kec...

Wcu|c ycu minc :Icying cI my hcu:e unIi| l geI cn c|crm in:Ic||ec"

Lee cicnI he:iIcIe Ic :cy ye:. lI wc: ncI c |eI: geI Lcck IcgeIher" cffer,
cnc Lee uncer:Iccc IhcI. 8uI iI wcu|c Le nice Ic Le crcunc Fene cgcin,
even if cn|y fcr c ccup|e cf week:.
C|c hcLiI: cie hcrc, :c iI wc: ju:I ncIurc| IhcI Lee cnc Fene re:umec c
:exuc| re|cIicn:hip. Even Ihcugh iI wc: ju:I c frienc: wiIh LenefiI:"
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186


re|cIicn:hip.
/ncIher c|c hcLiI re:umec Icc Ihcugh, which wcu|c Le Ihe finc| :Ircw.
Lee hcc Leen Ic|king Ic c ccup|e cf pecp|e cn|ine. /nc cne cf Ihem hcc
c weL :iIe Ihey wcnIec Lee Ic check cuI. We||, iI wc: cn ccu|I :iIe, which
mecnI ycu hcc Ic give c creciI ccrc cr Lcnk ccccunI numLer Ic verify
ycu were cn ccu|I.
Lee hcc neiIher cI Ihi: Iime, :c Fene: creciI ccrc wc: cgcin Lcrrcwec.
Ihe fc||cwing mcrning, Fene receivec Ihe e-Li|| fcr Ihe weL :iIe, cnc hcc
finc||y hcc encugh. Lee wc: kickec cuI, Ihe ccy cfIer Fene hcc cn c|crm
:y:Iem in:Ic||ec in Ihe hcu:e.
Lee: Mcm hcc cpc|cgizec Ic Lee, cnc cfferec Ic |eI Lee :Icy cgcin.


SepIemLer ccme, cnc Lee wc: :pecking cI whcI wcu|c cn|y Le Ihe fir:I
cf mcny :pecking engcgemenI: fcr Ihe :exuc| per:uc:icn :emincr IhcI
Fcu| he|c.
lI wc: curing Ihi: :emincr, IhcI Lee wc: given cn icec IhcI wcu|c
crcmcIicc||y chcnge Lee: |ifel
/ genI|emcn cI Ihe :emincr, whc hcc recc Lee: :Icrie: cn Ihe |i:I"
ccmmenIec, Ycu :hcu|c puI Ihem IcgeIher cnc mcke c Lcck cuI cf
Ihem."
Ihi: genI|emcn wc: cn c|reccy puL|i:hec cuIhcr, cnc hcc Leen c high
rcnking memLer cf c :cfIwcre ccmpcny ycu hcve very |ike|y hecrc cf.
lI wc: c|:c cI Ihi: :emincr where Lee wcu|c meeI :cmecne whc wcu|c
Leccme c |cyc| frienc.

Lee LrcughI up Ihe Lcck icec Ic Fcu|, whc :cic, lf ycu puI iI IcgeIher,
we|| :e|| iI in cur ccIc|cg."

Sc fcr Ihe nexI hcncfu| cf mcnIh:, Lee ccmpi|ec c|| Ihe :Icrie: IcgeIher,
cnc cccec fccI ncIe:" Ic Ihe :Icrie:, c: we|| c: inc|ucing :everc| pcem:
Lee hcc wriIIen, cnc :cme per:cnc| cL:ervcIicn:.
Ncw c|| Lee hcc Ic cc, wc: ccme up wiIh c IiI|e fcr Ihe Lcck. Lee: e-mci|
:creen ncme hcc Ihe ncme 8i:hcp" in iI, which wc: c nickncme given Ic
Lee Lcck in Germcny. Which wc: c|:c Ihe ncme pecp|e referrec Ic Lee
c:, cI Fcu|: :emincr:.
{Ihe :hcrI ver:icn i:, c grcup cf fe||cw :c|cier: cnc Lee, wcu|c cc Lrcin
Iec:er:" cn ecch cIher. Ihe mcre pecp|e ycu ccu|c :Iump, Ihe higher
ycur rcnking. Ihe rcnking wc: Lc:ec cn Che:: piece:. Lee wc: c
8i:hcp.")
Since Ihe ncme 8i:hcp" wc: whcI Lee wcnIec in Ihe IiI|e, iI ju:I Leccme
c mcIIer cf hcw Ic mcke iI fiI cnc :cunc gccc encugh Ic Luy.

Lee IhcughI cLcuI iI fcr c|c:e Ic 20 minuIe:, Ihen Ihe IiI|e ccme Ic Lee.
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187


Ihe Lcck wcu|c Le cc||ec 8i:hcp: Jcurnc|."

Ihe Lcck wc: reccy, cnc Fcu| even cccec c 3 CD inIerview wiIh Lee,
which wcu|c ccccmpcny Ihe Lcck.

Sc|e: fcr Ihe Lcck were cwe:cmel lI Leccme cne cf Ihe mc:I pcpu|cr
prccucI: in Fcu|: ccIc|cg.

Mcking :cme :ericu: mcney cnce cgcin, Lee wc: ec:i|y cL|e Ic mcve cuI
cnc geI cn cpcrImenI.
Lee reIurnec Ic MurrieIc, c p|cce IhcI hcc c|wcy: fe|I Ihe mc:I
ccmfcrIcL|e. 8uI, rememLer, Fene c|:c wc: |iving Ihere. Lee wcu|c
evenIuc||y regreI ever hcving mcvec Lcck Ihere.

/fIer c |cng ccy cnc nighI cf unpccking, Lee cecicec Ic Icke c wc|k. 8uI
:ince Lee wc: un:ure cf hcw :cfe Ihe crec necr Ihe cpcrImenI ccmp|ex
wc:. Sc whcI :eemec |cgicc| cI Ihe Iime {Icke c wc|k where ycu kncw iI:
:cfe) Iurnec cuI Ic Le c rec||y Lcc icec.
Ycu :ee, curing Ihe Iime Lee wc: |iving cI Fene: hcu:e, kic: were p|cying
cuI:ice cI nighI, cnc iI wc: c fcir|y :cfe neighLcrhccc. Sc, Lee IhcughI,
l|| Icke c wc|k crcunc tnct neighLcrhccc, LuI ncI cn Fene: L|cck."
UnfcrIuncIe|y, Fene hcc ncI |efI fcr wcrk yeI. Sc whi|e Lee wc: Icking c
wc|k, Fene Legcn |ecving fcr wcrk cnc :pcIIec Lee: pcrkec ccr.
Since Lee cnc Fene were ncI even :pecking cnymcre, Fene cic ncI
kncw IhcI Lee hcc mcvec Lcck Ic Ihe crec. Sc in c mcmenI cf pcnic,
Fene cc||ec Ihe pc|ice.

8y Ihe Iime Lee fini:hec Ihe wc|k cnc gcI Lcck inIc Ihe ccr, Ihere wc: c
ccrc Lee hcc :enI Fene, wiIh c chccc|cIe Lcr in:ice, p|ccec uncer Ihe
winc:hie|c wiper.
Lee wc: c LiI ccnfu:ec Ly Ihi: :Ircnge ge:Iure, LuI ju:I :hruggec iI cff, cnc
Legcn Ic crive hcme.
8uI Ihen, |ccking in Ihe recrview mirrcr, Lee ncIicec Fene: ccr fc||cwing
Lehinc. Lee pu||ec cver, LuI Ihen Fene ju:I pu||ec cver Lehinc Lee.
Ccnfu:ec, Lee Iurnec Ihe ccr crcunc, :c Ihe criver: :ice wc: fccing
Fene: civer: :ice. Lee :cic, Ihcnk: fcr Ihe ccncy. 8uI why cic ycu give iI
Ic me"
Fene cic ncI cn:wer.
/: Lee crcve cff ccnfu:ec, c pc|ice ccr :Icppec Lee cnc c:kec whcI Lee
wc: ccing in Ihe crec.
Lee exp|cinec hcving ju:I mcvec Lcck inIc Ihe crec, cnc wcnIing Ic Icke
c wc|k in c p|cce IhcI Lee knew wc: :cfe. Which :cIi:fiec Ihe pc|ice, cnc
Lee wc: free Ic gc.
8uI IhcI incicenI wcu|c c|:c ccme Lcck Ic hcunI Lee |cIer.
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188



Fcr necr|y c yecr, Lee wc: cL|e Ic |ive ccmfcrIcL|y ju:I cn Ihe rcyc|Iie:
frcm :c|e: cn 8i:hcp: Jcurnc|." 8y Ihi: Iime, Lee hcc prcven in Ihe eye:
cf Ihe ccurI IhcI Lee ccu|c vi:iI Lee: chi|c un:upervi:ec cn c|IerncIe
ScIurccy:.

Lee wc: |cving |ife. Ihere wc: grecI mcney ccming in, Ihe freeccm cf
:pencing Iime wiIh Lee: ccughIer un:upervi:ec, Lee wc: very pcpu|cr
{cnc hcc even cppecrec wiIh Fcu| cn c IV :hcwl), cnc hcc cecicec Ic
Lrcnch cuI cn c :c|c prcjecI Ihrcugh c weL :iIe Lee crecIec.
lI :eemec |ike Ihing: ccu|c ncI gc wrcng.

Ihen :cme Ihing: wenI wrcng.

Lee hcc Leen :encing Fene check: every mcnIh, pcying cff Ihe $5,000
ceLI Lee cwec Fene.
/: Ihe Lc|cnce wc: necr|y pcic cff, Lee e-mci|ec Fene Ic verify Ihe IcIc|
cmcunI cue.
Fcr :cme rec:cn, Fene: rep|y wc: c |iII|e hc:Ii|e. Ihe rep|y inc|ucec
cccu:cIicn: IhcI Lee wc: gcing Ic :uccen|y :Icp pcying Ihe cwec ceLI,
cnc IhcI Fene wc: ccnce|ing Ihe cn|ine ccrrier Fene hcc.
Lee wcncerec why Fene wc: ccIing :c hc:Ii|e, LuI cicnI ccre Ic c:k,
:ince iI cicnI rec||y mcIIer. Fene wcu|c hcve c|| Ihe mcney Lcck IhcI
wc: cwec, cnc Lee ccu|c c|c:e IhcI chcpIer fcr gccc.

8uI Ihen :cmeIhing crcmcIicc||y |ife chcnging hcppenec. Ye:, cne cf
Ihc:e chcin cf evenI Ihing:.

Lee hcc Leen freuenIing c |ccc| re:IcurcnI, cnc hcc :IcrIec :eeing
:cmecne whc wcrkec Ihere, ncmec G." Ihing: hcc :IcrIec cff :|cw, LuI
evenIuc||y grew inIc c phy:icc| re|cIicn:hip. / :ecreI re|cIicn:hip cI IhcI.
Lee cnc G" :penI c |cI cf Iime cI Lee: p|cce, :ince G" |ivec cI hcme,
wiIh Ihe pcrenI:.
8uI cne week, G:" pcrenI: wenI cn vcccIicn, :c Ihe hcu:e wc: empIy.
Since G" wc: c reLe||icu: Iype, G" wcnIec Ic hcve :ex cn Ihe pcrenI:
Lec. Lee hcc nc prcL|em wiIh IhcI, :c Ihey cic iI. Ihen Ihey cic iI cgcin
Ihe nexI nighI. /nc Ihen Ihe nexI.

Ihen cn FeLrucry 28Ih, cfIer :cme hcI mcney :ex cI Lee: cpcrImenI, G"
wcnIec Ic cgcin hcve :ex cn Ihe pcrenI: Lec. lI wc: c uickie, c: Lee
wc: Iirec, cnc iI wc: crcunc 4 in Ihe mcrning.
Scmewhere LeIween Ihe Iime cI Lee: hcme, cnc Ihe uickie cI G:"
hcme, Fene: hcme wc: Lrcken inIc cgcin.
Cn|y IHlS Iime, Ihere wc: cn c|crm, which immecicIe|y c|erIec Ihe pc|ice.
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189


Lee hcc c|mc:I cecicec Ic :Icy cvernighI cI G:" hcu:e, LuI :cmeIhing
Ic|c Lee Ic gc hcme. Upcn enIering Ihe cpcrImenI, Lee :cw Ihe cc||er lD
Lcx L|inking. Lee |cckec cI Ihe phcne numLer, LuI cic ncI reccgnize iI.
Ihe ncme hcwever, Lee knew VEFY we||, iI wc: Fene:l
Lee checkec Ihe cn:wering mcchine, nc me::cge. Lee cc||ec Ihe
numLer, nc cn:wer.
Ncw Lee wc: pcnickec. Fene hcc ncI cc||ec Lee fcr necr|y c yecr, cnc
here iI wc: crcunc 4 c.m. cnc Fene hcc cc||ec LuI cic ncI |ecve c
me::cge.
Ihe fir:I Ihing Lee IhcughI wc:, Fene: in IrcuL|e." Lee Ihrew :cme :hce:
Lcck cn, cnc heccec Ic Fene: hcu:e.
Upcn Iurning Ihe ccrner cf Fene: L|cck, Lee :cw Iwc pc|ice ccr:.
Ncw Lee wc: :ericu:|y wcrriec.
Lee Lcngec cn Ihe frcnI cccr, cnc c pc|ice cfficer cn:werec.

WhcI hcppenec Ic {Fene)" Lee c:kec.

8reck in. {Fene:) Leen cc||ec cI wcrk, cnc i: cn Ihe wcy." Ihe cfficer
rep|iec. Ycu ccn ccme in cnc wciI fcr {Fene) if ycu wcnI."

Lee wc: ccnfu:ec. Fene wc: cc||ec cI wcrk 8uI Ihe numLer cn Lee:
cc||er lD Lcx wc:nI frcm Fene: wcrk, Ihere wc: cn cn:wering mcchine.
Ce|| phcne mcyLe 8uI why cc|| Lee WhcI wc: gcing cn here

Lee wciIec, cnc wc: Ic|c Ic wciI cn c chcir in Ihe hc||wcy. Lee ncIicec
IhcI Iwc cf Ihree Lecrccm: cccr: were cpen. IhcI Ihirc cccr Ihcugh, wc:
c|c:ec. Lee :Icrec cI IhcI cccr, wcncering why iI wc: c|c:ec. Lee: minc
:IcrIec Ic wcncer if :cmeIhing Lcc hcc hcppenec in IhcI rccm.
ScmeIhing very Lcc mcyLe. Lee wcnIec Ic c:k, LuI wc: cfrcic. /frcic
IhcI Lee: wcr:I fecr wcu|c Leccme rec|. Ihe fecr IhcI in IhcI rccm |cy
Fene: Lccy.
Lee wcnIec Ic cpen Ihe cccr :c Lcc|y, cnc mu:Ierec up Ihe ccurcge Ic
:Icnc up cnc :|cw|y hecc Icwcrc Ihe cccr.

DcnI Icuch IhcI cccr." Cne cf Ihe Iwc cfficer: :cic. Ju:I hcve c :ecI."

Lee IhcughI, l Ihink lm gcing Ic Le :ick. Ihey ccnI wcnI me in IhcI rccm
Leccu:e Fene: cecc in Ihere."

Succen|y, Ihe frcnI cccr cpenec, cnc in wc|kec...Fene.

WhcI Ihe..." Wcncerec Lee.
Lee jumpec frcm Ihe chcir, c:king, Fene, whcI Ihe he|| i: gcing cn
Whyc ycu cc|| me Why cre Ihe pc|ice here"
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190



Cne cf Ihe cfficer: Ic|c Lee Ic hcve c :ecI, whi|e cncIher cfficer :pcke
c|cne wiIh Fene.
Ihen Ihe cfficer cnc Fene wc|kec inIc Fene: Lecrccm. /ppcrenI|y
:cmecne hcc Lrcken inIc Fene: hcme, Ihrcugh Ihe Lecrccm winccw,
which wc: c :|icing g|c:: cccr fccing Ihe Lcckycrc.

Ihe cfficer in:ice c:kec Lee, Ycu ccnI hcve cny wecpcn: cn ycu, cc
ycu"

WhcI" Fe:pcncec Lee. Cf ccur:e ncI, why"

Ihen ycu wcnI minc if l :ecrch ycu." :cic Ihe cfficer.

Ihe cfficer hcc Lee p|cce hcnc: cn Ihe wc|| cnc fcce fcrwcrc.

Ihe nexI Ihing Lee knew, Ihe cfficer hcc unzippec Lee: jcckeI pcckeI,
recchec in, cnc upcn pu||ing Ihe hcnc cuI c:kec, Why i: Ihere g|c:: in
ycur pcckeI"

Lee wenI numL. Ihing: Legcn Ic fc|| inIc p|cce. Ihe phcne cc||. Ihe
:uccen neec Ic :ecrch Lee. Lee wc: Leing :eI up.

/I |ec:I, IhcI: whcI Lee fe|I.

Lee wc: hcnccuffec, cnc Ic|c Ic hcve c :ecI. 8uI ncw Lee wc: pi::ec.

WhcI Ihe fuck i: Ihi: Ycu hcve c ucIc Ic meeI" Ye||ec Lee. FreIIy
ccnvenienI IhcI Ihe fir:I p|cce ycu |cck, c zippec up pcckeI, hcc g|c:: in
iI, huh Ycu guy: :uckl l wcu|c hcve nc rec:cn Ic cc Ihi:l"

l: IhcI why ycu hcve g|c:: in ycur pcckeI" remcrkec cne cf Ihe cfficer:.

8u||:hiIl Ycu puI iI Ihere. Ycu hcc me :iIIing here fcr c|mc:I Ien minuIe:,
yeI cicn'I cecice Ic :ecrch me unIi| /FIEF ycu wenI inIc Ihe Lecrccm
where Ihe Lreck in hcppenec." Lee :cic, Ihrcugh furicu:|y c|enchec
IeeIh.

Ccn ycu prcve ycur wherecLcuI: GcI cny c|iLi" Cne cf Ihe cfficer:
c:kec.

Lee DlD hcve :cmecne whc ccu|c verify Lee: wherecLcuI:. Lee hcc
Leen wiIh G."
/nc Lee necr|y L|urIec IhcI cuI, when c :ericu: rec|iIy hiI Lee. IhcI wcu|c
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191


Le Ihe wrcng per:cn Ic menIicn.
Ycu :ee, G" wc: cn|y 17. Sc Ic revec| IhcI cn ccu|I wc: wiIh c mincr
hcving :ex cI Ihe Iime, wcu|c Le c whc|e cifferenI chcrge.

Lee wc: :crewec.

Ic ccc Ic Ihe in:u|I, Lee hcc :Icppec cff Ic geI gc: cn Ihe wcy hcme
frcm G:" hcu:e, cnc Ihe gc: :IcIicn, whi|e cn Ihe wcy hcme, wc: c|:c
ju:I fcur L|cck: frcm Fene: hcu:e. /nc Ihe receipI wc: in Lee cIher jcckeI
pcckeI.

Lee wc: crre:Iec. /nc even Ihcugh neighLcr:, whc knew whcI Lee: ccr
|cckec |ike, cnc :IcIec Ihe ccr wc: ncI in Ihe crec cI Ihe Iime, iI mcce nc
cifference. Ihe cfficer: c|cimec IhcI Lee hcc ccnfe::ec. Ihey :Icrec IhcI
when Lee wc: pre:enIec wiIh Ihe g|c:: evicence" cnc c:kec hcw iI gcI
Ihere, IhcI Lee hcc rep|iec, 8u:Iec, ycu gcI me." Which Lee mcinIcin:
wc: Icken cuI cf ccnIexI, cnc IhcI whcI Lee hcc c||egec|y rec||y :cic
wc:, 8u||:hiI. Ycu gcI ME" /: in Ycu gcI ME why Ihere: g|c:: in my
pcckeI."
Weck, LuI iI: whcI Lee c|cim: wc: Ihe inIencec :IcIemenI.

Lee wc: prcce::ec, cnc Ihcnk: Ic Lee: :Ircng frienc:hip wiIh Fcu|, gcI
cuI Ihe nexI ccy cn Lci| IhcI Fcu| pcic.

Ihi: wcu|c Le ju:I CNE cf Ihe mu|Iip|e Ihing: IhcI wcu|c mcrk Ihe :ericu:
ccwnfc|| cf Lee.

FememLer IhcI weL :iIe Lee crecIec, fcr Ihe :c|c prcjecI We||, Ihing:
cicnI exccI|y Iurn cuI c: Lee hcc expecIec.
Lee wc: u:ing Ihe weL :iIe Ic :e|| c new Lcck Lee hcc wriIIen. /: cn
incenIive Ic cu:Icmer:, Lee cfferec free :hipping Ic Ihc:e whc pre-pcic
Ly c cerIcin ccIe, c: we|| c: cffering c free vicec cf Lee :hcwing :cme
Iechniue: IhcI Lee hcc crecIec.
Fir:I prcL|em ccme when Lee rec|izec IhcI Ihe cn|y wcy Ic hcncr Ihe free
:hipping, wc: Ic mci| Ihe Lcck Lcck rcIe" c|:c kncwn c: Mecic Mci|."
lI wc: very checp, cnc u|IimcIe|y c VEFY Lcc ceci:icn. ln Ihe week: IhcI
fc||cwec, Lee Legcn geIIing e-mci|: c:king when Ihe Lcck wcu|c Le
mci|ec. Lee knew IhcI Lcck rcIe" Icck c|mc:I Iwice, if ncI Ihree Iime: c:
|cng, Ic Le ce|iverec. Sc Lee ju:I Ic|c cu:Icmer: Ic Le pcIienI, IhcI Ihe
Lcck wc: in rcuIe. Lee hcc c|:c cecicec Ic :e|| 8i:hcp: Jcurnc|" cn Ihe
weL :iIe, :c Lee hcc iI pu||ec frcm Fcu|: ccIc|cg.

/rcunc Ihi: Iime, /pri| 1:I Ic Le exccI, Lee wc: cn|ine, when :cmecne
:enI Lee cn ln:IcnI Me::cge. Ihe per:cn :IcIec Ic Le c 22 yecr: c|c
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192


/u:Irc|icn whc |ivec necrLy. {:c we|| cc|| Ihi: per:cn /u::ie") which gcI
Lee: cIIenIicn, given Ihe fccI IhcI Lee wc: Iurnec cn Ly c memLer cf Ihe
cppc:iIe :ex wiIh cn cccenI.
Ihe ln:IcnI Me::cge uick|y Leccme cn in:IcnI phcne cc||, which |ec Ic
cn crrcngec meeIing.

/u::ie" cppcrenI|y never :hcwec, :c Lee wenI hcme. /u::ie" cc||ec Ic
c:k if Lee hcc :hcwec. Lee :cic, Ye:, LuI why cicnI YCU."
/u::ie" cpc|cgizec, L|cming iI cn in:ecuriIy, LuI wcnIec Ic meeI IhcI
nighI. /gcin:I Lee: u:uc||y LeIIer jucgmenI, /u::ie" wc: given Ihe
cccre::.
WiIhin 30 minuIe:, c kncck ccme cI Ihe cccr. lI wc: /u::ie."
Ihey Ic|kec, Ihey fcc|ec crcunc c |iII|e, Ihen /u::ie" hcc Ic |ecve, :ince
Mcm neecec Ihe ccr Lcck.
Ihe nexI nighI, Ihey hcc :ex.
/nc Ihe nexI nighI Icc.
Lee wc: |iking Ihi: :exuc| ci:IrccIicn.
8uI cne Ihing Lee cic ncI |ike, wc: when /u::ie" wc: :uppc:ec Ic ccme
Ly IhcI fc||cwing Sunccy, LuI never :hcwec, cnc cicnI cc|| Ic ccnce| ncr
exp|cin whcI hcppenec.
Ihe fc||cwing ccy, /u::ie" gcve Lee :cme excu:e cLcuI hcving :penI
Ihe nighI wiIh c frienc whc wc: Leing cLu:ec Ly Ihe frienc: pcrenI.
Lee cicnI Luy iI, cnc Ic|c /u::ie" Ic Icke c hike.

/ ccup|e cf week: |cIer, Lee f|ew Ic Chiccgc, Ic :hccI Ihe vicec IhcI wc:
Ic Le :enI free Ic Ihc:e whc pre-pcic fcr Ihe Lcck Ly c cerIcin ccIe.
EveryIhing :eemec Ic Le gcing gccc cn IhcI enc.
Ihe frienc IhcI Lee hcc meI, curing IhcI :emincr when Lee wc: given Ihe
icec fcr 8i:hcp: Jcurnc|," wc: gcing Ic Le :hccIing Ihe vicec, cnc Ihe
:Iucic wc: c|reccy crrcngec cnc reccy Ic gc.

Cnce in Chiccgc, Lee cnc Ihe frienc, ncmec Greg, recruiIec :cme
pecp|e Ic Le in Ihe vicec, cnc c|| IhcI wc: |efI wc: Ic ccIuc||y :hccI Ihe
vicec.
/|| wc: gcing fine fcr mc:I cf Ihe :hccI, Ihen c :ncg ccme.
Cne cf Ihe pecp|e :eI Ic Le in Ihe vicec, wc: up:eI IhcI Ihey hcc wciIec
c|| ccy, cnc hcc yeI Ic Le cc||ec in fcr Iheir pcrI cf Ihe vicec.
Lee wc: cLrupI wiIh Ihe per:cn, cnc :IcIec IhcI Ihey ccu|c hcve c|reccy
hcc Iheir pcrI ccne, hcc Ihey ncI Icken |unch wiIhcuI Ie||ing Lee, whc
:kippec Ihem cnc mcvec cnIc c cifferenI pcrI cf Ihe vicec.
UnfcrIuncIe|y, IhcI per:cn wc: c frienc cf Greg:, cne cf Ihree whc hcc
:hcwn up Ic Le in Ihe vicec. Ihe cIher Iwc hcc c|reccy Leen vicec
Icpec, LuI Ihe Ihirc per:cn wc: :c up:eI, Ihey Ic|kec Ihe cIher Iwc inIc
Lrecking Iheir ccnIrccI, cnc refu:ing Ic |eI Iheir :egmenI Le cn Ihe vicec.
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193


De:piIe Lee remincing Greg IhcI Ihe Ihree pecp|e hcc :ignec c ccnIrccI
c|reccy, Greg cpIec Ic wiIhhc|c Iheir :egmenI:, in:Iecc cf ri:king Iheir
frienc:hip.
Lee wc: up:eI cLcuI Ihi:, LuI wiIh Greg in pc::e::icn cf Ihe vicec, Ihere
wc: ncI much Lee ccu|c cc cLcuI iI.

/nc ju:I |ike IhcI, c 5-pcrI vicec wc: |efI wiIh cn|y 2 pcrI:. Hcrc|y encugh
Ic :cIi:fy Lee: cu:Icmer:, even fcr c free vicec.

Ic ccc furIher fue| Ic Ihe fire, mc:I cf Ihc:e wciIing fcr Iheir ccpy cf Lee:
new Lcck, hcc :Ii|| ncI gcIIen Iheir ccpie:. /nc Ihi: wc: cver Iwc MCNIHS
cfIer Ihey hcc c|| Leen mci|ec c|reccy.
Fcnning Ihe f|cme: even mcre, wc: Ihe fccI IhcI mc:I cf Ihc:e cu:Icmer:
were cu:Icmer: cf Fcu|:, Ihe :exuc| per:uc:icn guy Lee wc: frienc: wiIh.

8y Ihe Iime Lee reIurnec hcme, Ihere wc: |e:: Ihcn hc|f cf c prcmi:ec fu||
vicec mcce, Fcu| :everec Iheir frienc:hip, cnc Ihere wc: c mcIIer cf
cec|ing wiIh c|| Ihc:e Lcck: IhcI never crrivec cnc ccu|c ncI Le Irccec.
NcI Ic menIicn c hecring in ccurI, regcrcing Ihe mcIIer Lee hcc Leen
crre:Iec fcr.
8uI wciIing cn Lee: cn:wering mcchine, wc: c me::cge frcm /u::ie."

lm rec||y :crry cLcuI whcI hcppenec. /nc l mi:: ycu."

Lee reIurnec Ihe cc||, if fcr nc cIher rec:cn Ihcn Ic hcve c ci:IrccIicn frcm
Ihe Ihing: IhcI were fc||ing cpcrI.

Lee wc: cI c vu|nercL|e Iime in |ife. / vu|nercLi|iIy IhcI /u::ie" encec up
Icking ccvcnIcge cf.

8y Mcy, Lee hcc cc:hec Ihe |c:I rcyc|Iy check frcm 8i:hcp: Jcurnc|."
Since virIuc||y c|| Ihe mcney mcce frcm Lee: cIher Lcck wenI Lcck c:
refunc:, Ihi: wc: Ihe |c:I :curce cf mcney Lee hcc.

Ihen cncIher LcmL:he|| hiI.

Lee hcc fc||en Lehinc in Chi|c SuppcrI pcymenI:, cnc receivec c |eIIer
:IcIing IhcI Lee wc: Ic :enc Ihe fu|| cuI:Icncing Lc|cnce cr hcve |egc|
ccIicn Icken.
Ihe fu|| cuI:Icncing Lc|cnce wc: fcr grecIer Ihcn Ihe enIire rcyc|Iy check,
:c Lee fe|I he|p|e::.
8uI Ic Lee: :urpri:e, Mcm ccme Ic Ihe re:cue. Lee wc: :enI c $10,000
cc:hier: check.
Ihi: mecnI IhcI Lee ccu|c Lring Ihe chi|c :uppcrI currenI, cnc :Ii|| hcve c
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194


few Luck: |efI cver Ic :urvive unIi| Lee fcunc c jcL.

8uI /u::ie" hcc cIher p|cn:.

U:ing Lee: vu|nercLi|iIy, /u::ie" p|cyec minc gcme: wiIh Lee,
mcnipu|cIec Lee, cnc gcI Lee Ic :enc cn|y hc|f Ihe fu|| Lc|cnce cue.
Ihe re:I cf Ihe mcney wcu|c Le u:ec fcr Ihem Ic gc Ic /u:Irc|ic.

Lccking Lcck cn IhcI ceci:icn, Lee :cy:, lI: funny hcw in hinc:ighI, ycu
:ee c|| Ihe cLvicu: inciccIcr: cf cecepIicn. Ihe minc gcme: IhcI
*exp|eIive* p|cyec cn me were gccc, ccmn gccc. 8uI iI ccughI up Ic
{/u::ie) in Ihe enc, :c lm ncI cngry. Le::cn |ecrnec."

WiIh c pc::iL|e ccnvicIicn fcr c crime Lee cic ncI ccmmiI |ccming, cnc
Ihe ci:c:Ier: cver Ihe |c:I few mcnIh:, iI wc: ncI hcrc fcr /u::ie" Ic
ccnvince Lee Ic mcve Ic /u:Irc|ic fcr gccc.
Lee wc: reccy Ic |ecve everyIhing Lehinc, cnc :IcrI c new |ife in c new
ccunIry.
FcrIuncIe|y, Lee wc: ncI cL|e Ic Luy ju:I c cne-wcy IickeI. lI hcc Ic Le c
rcunc-Irip IickeI.

IhcI encec up Leing c very gccc Ihing.

Ju|y ccme, cnc cff Ic /u:Irc|ic Lee wenI wiIh /u::ie. /nc Lee wc:
ceIerminec Ic mi:: Ihe reIurn f|ighI cnc mcke c new |ife.
8uI cnce in /u:Irc|ic, Ihing: chcngec LeIween /u::ie" cnc Lee. WiIhin
ju:I c few ccy: cf |cncing ccwn uncer, /u::ie" preIIy much cumpec Lee
cnc renewec c re|cIicn:hip wiIh cn c|c f|cme.
FcrIuncIe|y, Lee hcc mcce c frienc in /u:Irc|ic Ly IhcI Iime, ncmec Nicki,
whc hcc cfferec Ic |eI Lee :Icy wiIh her cI her hcu:e if Lee wcnIec Ic
:cve cn hcIe| expen:e:.
Lee encec up Icking Nicki up cn her cffer.
Sc Ihe remcining week: in /u:Irc|ic, Lee :penI wiIh Nicki, her Ihree kic:,
cnc Nicki: Lcyfrienc.
Nicki :hcwec Lee crcunc /u:Irc|ic, cnc even Icck Lee up ncrIh fcr cn c||
ccy ccvenIure.

Lee hcc |ecrnec IhcI /u::ie" hcc |iec cLcuI hcw ec:y iI wc: Ic geI c jcL
Ihere, cnc hcw Lee ccu|c geI cn cpcrImenI rec||y checp.

Lee wc: cn IhcI reIurn f|ighI Lcck Ic /mericc.

Cnce Lcck hcme, Lee rec|izec ju:I hcw much hcc Leen |c:I Ly Ihe
ceci:icn Ic |ecve /mericc. Lee hcc given up c prcmi:ing {cnc we||
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195


pcying) jcL, Lee |c:I Ihe nice cpcrImenI, c: we|| c: |c:I whcIever Lee hcc
ncI pcckec inIc Ihe Iruck IhcI wc: pcckec fcr /u:Irc|ic.
/nc Ic ccc furIher injury, :cmecne hcc u:ec Lee: ceLiI ccrc Ic Luy
:cme cir|ine IickeI:, cnc Ihey were ncn-refunccL|e, cnc Ihe Lcnk
cec|inec Lee: c|cim cf fc|:e u:cge. {Appc|ent|y Lee': cctuc| e-nc||
ccc|e:: cnc ncne ccc|e:: we|e u:ec. :c tne ccnk cec||nec tne c|ec|t
ccck) Sc ncw Lee cwec Ihe Lcnk crcunc $2,000l

Scmehcw, Lee remcinec cc|m, cnc :Icyec in c hcIe| fcr c week.
/fIerwcrc:, Lee |cccec up Ihe ccr wiIh c: much per:cnc| Le|cnging: c: iI
ccu|c hc|c cnc :Ii|| Le :IreeI |egc|, cnc crcve Ic Lc: Vegc:, where Lee:
pcrenI: were ncw |iving.

Lee: pcrenI: |eI Lee :Icy renI free, :ince Lee hcc c Iric| Ic fccu: cn.

/nc Ihcugh Lee cce: ncI Ihink c|| puL|ic cefencer: cre mcrcn:, Lee cic
Ihink Ihe cne c::ignec Ic Ihe Iric| W/S c mcrcn.
Cue:Iicn: Lee wcnIec c:kec, were ncI c:kec.
lnccn:i:Iencie: in pc|ice Ie:Iimcny, wenI unmenIicnec.
Evicence" IhcI hcc Leen |c:I," wc: ncI cLjecIec Ic Leing menIicnec Ic
Ihe jury.
/nc wcr:I cf c||, in Lee: cpinicn, Ihe puL|ic cefencer :eemec very i||
prepcrec, cnc very nervcu: in frcnI cf c jury.

Ihe Iric| encec, cnc Ihe jury ce|iLercIec cn c vercicI....fcr c ccup|e cf
hcur:.
Lee wc: fcunc gui|Iy cf Ire:pc::ing cnc Vcncc|i:m," cnc :enIencec Ic 5
mcnIh: in jci|, $2,000 in fine:, 20 hcur: ccmmuniIy :ervice, cnc c yecr cf
cnger mcncgemenI.

ln Lee: wcrc:, Ihe wcy l |cck cI iI ncw, l mcy ncI hcve ccne Ihe crime l
wc: ccnvicIec cf, LuI l Ihink iI ccIuc||y encec up Leing Ihe Le:I Ihing IhcI
:hcu|c hcve hcppenec Ic me. l hcc me::ec up my |ife, :c c vcccIicn
frcm Freeccm i: c ccmn gccc wcy Ic geI Ihing: in Iheir prcper
per:pecIive."

Ihe fir:I 30 ccy: in jci| were Ihe hcrce:I fcr Lee.

8uI :ince Ihi: wc: c fir:I Iime ccnvicIicn, Lee wc: puI in c Iru:Iee" Icnk.
Which mecnI IhcI Lee wcu|c Le wcrking in Ihe kiIchen, in:Iecc cf |cying
crcunc in c ce|| c|| ccy cnc nighI. F|u:, hcving c|reccy mcce iI Ihrcugh
/rmy 8c:ic Ircining, Lee wc: c|reccy menIc||y prepcrec fcr :cmecne e|:e
Ic Lcrk Ihe crcer: cnc Lee hcving nc chcice LuI Ic cLey.
Lee hcc c few fighI:, which were Ic Le expecIec if ycu cicnI wcnI Ic geI
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Lu||iec Ihe whc|e Iime ycure ccing...we||...Iime.
8uI cverc||, Ihe week: wenI inIc mcnIh: fcir|y uick|y.
Due Ic Lee: hcnec per:uc:icn :ki||:, Lee ccIuc||y Leccme :cmecne cIher
inmcIe: Iru:Iec cnc whc: inpuI cnc cpinicn wc: vc|uec.

/nc iI wc: :cmewhere in Ihe Ihirc cr fcurIh mcnIh, IhcI Lee Legcn Ic Icke
Ihe mc:I :ericu: |cck cI Ihe |ife Lee hcc |ivec up Ic IhcI pcinI.
/nc Ly Ihe Iime 5 mcnIh: hcc pc::ec, Lee wc: :IcrIing Ic Leccme
:cmecne fcr cifferenI Ihcn Lee hcc ever Leen.

/nc iI wc: c gccc kinc cf cifferenI.

Hcving |c:I 5 mcnIh: cf freeccm, which ccu|c never Le regcinec, Lee
Legcn Ic ncIice :cme impcrIcnI Ihing: IhcI Lee hcc Icken fcr grcnIec in
Ihe pc:I.
Ihing: |ike Leing cL|e Ic :ee Ihe :un, cnc fee| Ihe wcrmIh cf iI cn Lee:
fcce. Fcr 5 mcnIh:, Lee wc: uncL|e Ic hcve eiIher cne.
Ihing: |ike Leing cL|e Ic Icke c wc|k, ecIing in c re:IcurcnI, cnc vi:iI Ihe
Lcck :Icre, gc :hcpping, cnc c huncrec cIher Ihing: IhcI Lee u:ec Ic ncI
give much IhcughI Ic, unIi| Ihey were c|| Icken cwcy fcr necr|y hc|f c
yecr.

Whi|e Lee hcc cL:c|uIe|y NC mcney, iI wc: gcing Ic evenIuc||y Leccme
impcrIcnI Ic geI c jcL. Lee: pcrenI: were fcir, :IcIing IhcI Lee ccu|c :Icy
wiIh Ihem fcr Ihe fir:I mcnIh, re|cx, wiIhcuI hcving Ic geI c jcL. 8uI iI wc:
impcrIcnI fcr Lee Ic :IcrI ecrning c |iving, cnc |iving in c p|cce Lee wc:
pcying fcr.

/: Ihe week: cnc mcnIh: prcgre::ec, Lee Legcn Ic ncIice IhcI whcI
u:ec Ic :eem impcrIcnI, were Ihe wrcng Ihing:. /nc frcm IhcI, Lee
Legcn Ic Lui|c c LeIIer uncer:Icncing cf whcI wc: Iru|y /|phc Lehcvicr,
cnc whcI wc: ju:I ce|u:icnc| 8eIc Lehcvicr.
LiII|e Ly |iII|e, Lee Legcn Ic reLui|c c |ife. lI :IcrIec wiIh |eIIing gc cf whcI
wc: LenecIh Lee Ic cccepI c: c jcL, Leccu:e mcking mcney wc: :Ii||
mcking mcney. /nc mcking mcney mecnI Lee wc: ncI hcving Ic re|y cn
cnycne e|:e Ic ecI cnc hcve c p|cce Ic cc|| mine." NexI Lee hcc Ic Icke
c very :ericu: |cck in Ihe mirrcr, cnc cn:wer Ihe ue:Iicn, Whc cre ycu
cnc whcI cre ycu gcing Ic Le when ycu grcw up"
IhcI nighI, Lee |cy in Lec, |ccking cver Ihe jcurnc| :IcrIec c|mc:I 10 yecr:
cgc. WhcI Lee recc, Lee: cwn wriIIen wcrc:, revec|ec c cyc|e cf
Lehcvicr IhcI :uccen|y mcce :en:e Ic Lee. / cyc|e cf Lehcvicr IhcI wc:
ncw uncccepIcL|e. Sc IhcI nighI, June 2Ih, Lee Legcn c new cyc|e. /
new cyc|e IhcI Ic Ihi: ccy hc: prcven Ic Le c much mcre rewcrcing, c
much mcre fu|fi||ing, cnc c much mcre effecIive wcy cf |ife.
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197



IhcI wc: Ihree yecr: cgc.



IC 8E CCNIlNUED...


ln cc:e ycu hcvenI c|reccy figurec iI cuI Ly ncw, Ihi: hc: Leen Ihe :Icry
cf MY |ife.
lM Lee.
Michce| LEE Emery.
Ycu mighI Le cngry cI me ncw, LuI ycu|| geI cver iI.
Ycu mighI Le ccnfu:ec Ly me righI ncw, LuI IhcI Icc wi|| pc::.
Ycu mighI Ihink ycu mcce c mi:Icke Luying c Lcck frcm c guy whc ju:I
ccmiIIec Ic Ihe Ihing: l ju:I wrcIe in my :Icry.
8uI |eI me c:k ycu c ue:Iicn. Wcu|c ycu rcIher |ecrn frcm :cmecne
whc: rcre|y ever Leen in ceep|y ccrk mcmenI: in Iheir |ife, cr wcu|c ycu
rcIher |ecrn frcm :cmecne whc H/S wc|kec in ccrkne::, cverccme iI, cnc
ccn :hcw ycu hcw ycu ccn cc Ihe :cme Ihing lve ccne :cme Lcc
Ihing:, Leen c rec| Lc:Icrc, cnc ccn :peck frcm experience cn whcI NCI
Ic Le if ycu wcnI Ic un|ec:h Ihe /|phc IhcI |cy wiIhin.

l wrcIe Ihe cLcve :Icry" ncI |cng Lefcre l Legcn re:ecrching fcr Ihi: very
Lcck. DcnI c:k me whcI mcce me wriIe cuI my |ife :Icry, l hcve nc icec.
l ju:I knew IhcI if l were gcing Ic cncnge my:e|f, l hcc Ic LeIIer kncw
my:e|f. /nc iI wcrkec.
Mcny cf Ihe lve ju:I c|wcy: ccne Ihi:/|ikec IhcI/Leen Ihi: wcy" Ihing:
Leccme LeIIer uncer:Iccc, cnce l recc my cwn uneciIec wcrc:.
Ihere cre mcny Ihing: IhcI lm ncI prcuc cf, LuI l cic ncI eciI Ihi: :Icry
cne LiI, l |efI EVEFYIHlNG IhcI l wrcIe, in.
/nc |ike l :cic Icwcrc Ihe enc, l rec|izec IhcI whcI l IhcughI wc:
impcrIcnI, were Ihe wrcng Ihing:.
l u:ec Ic wcrry cLcuI cecIh, cnc whcI hcppen: when we cie. l u:ec Ic
wcrry cLcuI ncI geIIing Ihe Ihing: ccne IhcI l IhcughI l :hcu|c geI ccne
Lefcre l cie. l u:ec Ic wcrry cLcuI Leing cccepIec cnc geIIing pecp|e:
cpprcvc|. l u:ec Ic wcrry cLcuI ncI mcking encugh mcney, cnc Lc:ec
my per:cnc| vc|ue cn my exIernc| pc::e::icn:.
8uI ncw l rec|ize IhcI where l gc when l cie, i: ncI c: impcrIcnI c: Ihe |ife l
|ive whi|e lm here. Ihe mcney l mcke i: ncI c: impcrIcnI c: Ihe emcIicnc|
wec|Ih l cIIcin. {Anc |nte|e:t|ng|y encugn. c: | cegcn tc cc|e LFSS cccut
nck|ng c |ct c| ncney. tn|ng: ccne ny wcy tnct |nc|ec:ec ny ||ncnc|c|
ccunccnce.}
8uI cLcve iI c||, l hcve rec|izec IhcI whi|e iI lS impcrIcnI Ic hcve gcc|: cnc
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198


crecm: cnc cmLiIicn, iI i: even mcre impcrIcnI Ic finc Ihe vc|ue IhcI
exi:I: wiIhin ecch cnc every ccy IhcI ycu cre here.
/: ccrny c: iI :cunc:, ycur frienc:, ycur fcmi|y, cnc everycne ycu enjcy
Ic|king Ic, cre whcI: rec||y impcrIcnI.
/fIer c||, cnce ycure cecc, ycu wcnI Le fee|ing cnyIhing.
8uI when ycu |c:e c frienc, cr IhcI grecI ccnver:cIicn Luccy, cr IhcI
fcvcriIe memLer cf ycur fcmi|y, ycu hcve Ic |ive cn, cec|ing wiIh IhcI |c::.
Sc Ihe wcy l :ee iI, ycu neec Ic vc|ue everycne ycu meeI, cnc finc
SCMEIHlNG in ycur enccunIer wiIh ecch cf Ihem, IhcI ycu ccn |ecrn
frcm. Everycne hc: c :Icry, :c Icke Ihe Iime Ic |ecrn Iheir:, even if iI: cn|y
c :mc|| piece. 8eccu:e, c: l hcve |ecrnec Ly ncw, Ihere i: vc|ue in
everycne. /nc c: l hcve c|:c |ecrnec, Ihe cffecI ycu hcve cn pecp|e
|inger: |cng cfIer ycu pcrI ccmpcny. l |ecrnec IhcI Ihere i: c cifference
LeIween my Irue frienc:, cnc Ihe pecp|e l hung cuI wiIh ju:I Leccu:e
Ihey |ikec me. l |ecrnec IhcI whi|e iI: ncI viIc| Ic hcve c |crge grcup cf
frienc: crcunc ycu, iI lS viIc| Ic finc vc|ue in Ihe pecp|e ycu meeI. Vc|ue,
c: in, l ccn |ecrn frcm Ihi: per:cn" cr Iheyre c gccc excmp|e cf hcw l
DCNI wcnI Ic Le" cr Ihi: per:cn :hcre: mcny ccmmcn IrciI:," ju:I Ic
ncme c few.

/: fcr my Mcm cnc :Iep ccc, cnc Ihe crgumenI: cnc Ihe fighIing cnc
Ihe ccmmenI: mcce, IhcI wc: Icugh crec fcr me Ic geI pc:I. 8uI Ihere
ccme c Iime when l finc||y rec|izec IhcI Ihey cic Ihe Le:I jcL Ihey ccu|c,
given Ihe wcy Ihey were rci:ec. ln :cme wcy:, l ncw rec|ize, l wc: :pci|ec
ccmpcrec Ic cIher kic:. l c|wcy: gcI cI |ec:I cne cf Ihe Ihing: l wcnIec
fcr Chri:Imc:, my mcm ccIuc||y SUFFCFIED my cc||ecIing ccmic: {|n:tecc
c| tc::|ng tnen cut. ||ke :c ncny ctne| k|c': ncn': ncc cppc|ent|y ccne),
cnc l u:uc||y gcI c Icy l wcnIec when we :hcpping. My :Iep ccc IcughI
me cLcuI hcving c gccc wcrk eIhic {ncugn |t c|cn't :|nk |n unt|| | wc: cn
ccu|t) Sc l :ee Ihe vc|ue my chi|chccc hcc, cnc my pcrenI: cnc l :hcre
c very gccc re|cIicn:hip Ihe:e ccy:.

FememLer my frienc frcm Ihirc grcce, Ihe :urviving Iwin lI wc: cn|y cfIer
l Legcn wriIing IhcI pcrI cf my |ife cuI, IhcI l rec|izec ju:I hcw Lrcve IhcI
kic mu:I hcve Leen. Here l cm, c perfecI|y hec|Ihy, Lurn-free mcn, whc
u:ec Ic Le :c in:ecure cLcuI Ihe cumLe:I Ihing:. YeI here wc: c kic, /
IHlFD GF/DEF, wiIh much cf hi: fcce Lurnec, cnc he fcunc Ihe ccurcge
Ic ncI cn|y ccme Lcck Ic Schcc|, LuI he remcinec fcr Ihe re:I cf Ihe
:chcc| yecr. Lccking Lcck cn IhcI kic, l gcI Ic wcncering, Wnct tne ne|| |:
:tcpp|ng /F ||cn ncv|ng HA k|nc c| ccu|cge
Sc l hcve :hcrec my |ife :ccr:" wiIh ycu, cnc l :Icnc prcuc Ic hcve Ihe
ccurcge Ic Icke whcIever reccIicn ycu Ihrcw cI me. l mcke nc
cpc|cgie:, ncr cc l wi:h cnycne Ic fcrgive me. lf ncI fcr Ihi: |ife IhcI l hcve
:hcrec wiIh ycu, l wcu|c |ike|y ncI Le where l cm Icccy, ncr wcu|c l hcve
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199


|ike|y wriIIen Ihi: Lcck IhcI ycu cre ncw reccing.
l :imp|y wcnI YCU, Ihe reccer, Ic |cck wiIhin ycur:e|f, cnc rec|ize IhcI Ihe
pc:I i: cver, iI: gcne. LeI iI gcl
Sc Ihe cn|y ue:Iicn |efI i:, Wne|e c|e ycu gc|ng tc tcke ycu|:e|| ||cn
ne|e"
lf ycure :Ii|| wiIh me cn Ihi: ccvenIure, Ihen Ihere: ju:I cne chcpIer |efIl
LeI: geI Ic iIl




































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Ihe Fhoen|x bn|eoshed




Ihe Iime hc: ccme...cnc ycu're reccyl
EveryIhing IhcI ycuve recc, |ecrnec, cnc ccne, IhrcughcuI Ihi: enIire
Lcck, hc: Leen prepcring ycu fcr IHlS chcpIerl

Ihe mcre ycu cc whcI i: c:kec cf ycu in Ihi: chcpIer, Ihe mcre power|u||y
ycu|| ncIice ycur /|phc emerging, cnc enhcncing, cnc Leccming c
ncIurc| wcy cf hcw ycu wc|k Ihrcugh Ihe wcr|c.
Ihi: i:nI |ike :cme phy:icc| fiIne:: prcgrcm, :c ycure ncI gcing Ic Le
reuirec Ic cc exerci:e / in Ihe mcrning, exerci:e 8 in Ihe cfIernccn,
exerci:e C in Ihe evening.
ln:Iecc, lve Lrcken iI ccwn inIc 7 grcup: cf Ihing: ycu DC hcve Ic cc
ecch ccy, ecch grcup fcr ecch ccy, cnc ycu geI Ic cc Ihem cI /NY Iime
Ihrcugh ycur ccy. /nc |ife :hcu|c Le fun, c: we|| c: pcwerfu| fcr ycu. Sc l||
|eI YCU pick whichever cne ycu|| cc Icmcrrcw, Ihen pick c cifferenI cne
Ic cc Ihe nexI ccy, cnc cncIher cifferenI cne Ihe ccy cfIer IhcI, cnc :c
cn, unIi| ycuve ccne ecch grcup, c|| 7, CNCE in c :ing|e week. Ihen Ihe
fc||cwing week, cc iI in c cifferenI crcer, cnc :c cn.
CcnIinue ccing Ihi: fcr ju:I CNE WHCLE MCNIH/FCUF WHCLE WEEKS.
8y Ihe Iime Ihe mcnIh i: ccne, ycu WlLL ncIice ycur:e|f ccing Ihing:
cifferenI|y, cnc 8ElNG mcre cnc mcre cnc mcre |ike Ihe /|phc IhcI ycu
hcve c|wcy: hcc wiIhin ycu.
/nc ycu mcy even ncIice ycur:e|f in:IincIive|y ccing cn exerci:e ncI in
Ihe grcup ycuve pickec fcr IhcI ccy. EmLrcce IhcI when iI hcppen:,
Leccu:e iI mecn: ycure geIIing c|c:er cnc c|c:er Ic where ycu wcnI Ic
Le.
/nc in |e:: Iime Ihcn ycu mighI hcve rec|izec, ycu wi|| hcve fu||y
Jn|eoshed fhe Fhoen|x/"

Frepcre Ic Le un|ec:hecl









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GkObF ONE
1.
lf ycure righI hcncec, Lru:h ycur IeeIh in Ihe mcrning wiIh ycur |efI hcnc.
lf |efI hcncec, Lru:h wiIh ycur righI hcnc. Dc Ihe :cme when Lru:hing
ycur IeeIh cI nighI

2.
/fIer Icking c :hcwer/LcIh, cry ycur:e|f cff in Ihe cppc:iIe wcy ycu
ncrmc||y cc {e.g. : lf ycu Icwe| cff ycur hcir fir:I, Ihen crm:, Ihen Lcck, cnc
:c cn, mcke Ihe |c:I Ihing ycu ncrmc||y Icwe| cff Ihe FlFSI Ihing ycu Icwe|
cff, cnc mcke ycur hcir Ihe L/SI Ihing ycu Icwe| cff.)

3.
Fecc cn enIire crIic|e frcm c mcgczine IhcI ycuve never hcc cny
inIere:I in, cr cn enIire chcpIer frcm c Lcck IhcI ycuve never Leen
inIere:Iec in Lefcre.


GkObF IWO

1.
Wc|k up Ic c IcIc| :Ircnger, :cy Ic Ihem wiIh :inceriIy, l hcpe ycu enjcy
ycur ccy/evening" (cc:ec. c| ccu|:e. cn wn|cn t|ne c| ccy ycu :ee tne
pe|:cn} cnc :cy iI c: if ycu've kncwn Ihem fcr mcnIh: cr even yecr:. Ihen
:imp|y wc|k cwcy.
(Ncte. || tney :tcp ycu cnc wcnt tc tc|k. G|ve tnen NC /CFF tncn 3
n|nute: c| ycu| t|ne. cnc nc nctte| ncw |nt||guec ycu ncy ce cy tnen.
|||n|y te|| tnen ycu nu:t ce gc|ng cnc wc|k cwcy. || tney :cy ANYH|NG
tc get ycu tc :tcp cgc|n. te|| tnen tnct || tney wcnt tc cnct |cte|. tney
neec tc qu|ck|y w||te ccwn tne|| pncne nunce|/e-nc|| ccc|e::...DC NC
FFC/|SF C CALL/WF|F. :|np|y :cy ycu'|| t|y cnc get ccck tc tnen
wnen | ncve tne t|ne. tnen wc|k cwcy.}

2.
Li:Ien Ic c mu:ic :IcIicn IhcI p|cy: :cng: ycu ncrmc||y ccnI |i:Ien Ic {LuI
NCI cne cf c :Iy|e ycu hcIe), fcr cI |ec:I cn hcur.

3.
WriIe in ycur jcurnc| c fcnIc:y :Icry IhcI: cI |ec:I cne fu|| pcge |cng.
{lI cce:nI hcve Ic Le very gccc, cr even mcke much :en:e, LuI iI MUSI
hcve ceIci|)



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202


GkObF IHkEE
1.
Spenc Ihe enIire ccy ncIicing hcw mcny pecp|e :iI wiIh Iheir |eg: crc::ec
Ihe :cme wcy when :iIIing ccwn (||gnt |eg cve| |e|t/|e|t |eg cve| ||gnt. ||
tney keep :w|tcn|ng |eg: ||equent|y. nct|ce wn|cn |eg :tcy: c|c::ec cn tcp
tne |cnge:t. cnc p|cce |t |n tnct g|cup.}

2.
Hcve cI |ec:I CNE ceLcIe wiIh :cmecne, give Ihem ycur fu|| fccu:, cnc
ccnI inIerrupI Ihem, even if ycu ci:cgree wiIh whcI Ihey :cy, cnc finc cI
|ec:I CNE vc|ic pcinI in whcI Ihey hcve :cic, Ihcugh ycu cre uncer NC
cL|igcIicn Ic |eI IhcI inf|uence ycu in chcnging Ihe view ycu hcc

3.
lf ycu cic gccc cI wcrk/c|c:: Icccy, Ihink cf IWC cIher wcy: ycu ccu|c
hcve ccne iI even LeIIer. lf ycu cic Lcc cI wcrk/c|c:: Icccy, Ihink cf IWC
cIher wcy: ycu ccu|c hcve ccne even wcr:e (cut nct wcy: tnct n|gnt
ncve gctten ycu |||ec. c| k|ckec cut c| c|c::. c| ccu|:e}

GkObF FObk

1.
SIcy hcme c|cne IcnighI/Icccy. Dc ncI |eI /NYCNE inIc ycur hcme,
(|||enc:. |cn||y. :cnecne nct |cck|ng. etc.} cnc u:e cI |ec:I CNE FULL
HCUF cf Ihe nighI/ccy Ic cc Ihe Lcne Wc|f" exerci:e.

2.
EiIher righI Lefcre gcing Ic Lec, cr righI cfIer wcking up. Li:I 5 grecI wcy:
Ic ncI |eI cn cLncxicu:/in:u|Iing per:cn ccu:e ycu Ic geI cngry."

**Week 2: |cg|cc| wcy: ycu ccn get c |c|:e/|egc||y ncke nc|e ncney.
tncn ycu cc ||gnt ncw.
Week 3: Ihing: ycu wcu|c Luy, cne ecch fcr :even cifferenI pecp|e
(|cn||y c| |||enc:. NC FFCSFFC|VF LCVF |NFFFSS) LuI NCNE CF lI ccn
Le c gifI ycu geI Ic :hcre c|cng wiIh Ihe per:cn, Ihe gifI mu:I Le cn|y fcr
Ihem.
Week 4: 8 p|cyfu| wcy: Ic mcke :cmecne |cugh." **







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203


GkObF FIVE

1.
Dc Ihe 8ui|cing cn /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy" exerci:e: pcrI: 1 Ihrcugh 3.


2.
Fecc ycur ceIci|ec p|cn frcm Ihe F|cnning Ycur F|cn: F|cn" exerci:e,
cnc ncIe in whcI wcy: ycu hcve mcvec c|c:er Ic ccccmp|i:hing iI, c:
we|| c: ccju:Iing where ycu fee| ycu neec ccju:ImenI: cI. (A|:c. c||e||y
ncte wnct nc: yet tc ncppen. cnc |epect ycu| c||||nct|cn: c: ycu |ccu:
cn tnct c:pect c| tne p|cn}

GkObF SIX

1.
Fecc chcpIer: Ihe A|pho 8ehov|oro| Loop" cnc Mok|ng A|pho
Dec|s|ons."

2.
Dc Ihe 8ui|cing Ycur /|phc Fer:cnc|iIy" exerci:e: pcrI: 4 Ihrcugh .


GkObF SEVEN

1.
Finc c menIcr. lf ycu hcve c menIcr c|reccy, |ecrn :cmeIhing frcm Ihem.

2.
Fecc cI |ec:I CNE FULL CH/FIEF frcm cne cf Ihe Lcck: l hcve
reccmmencec Ic ycu. {/ |i:I i: fcunc cI Ihe enc cf Ihi: Lcck)

3.
MeciIcIe fcr 30 minuIe: {cn HCUF if Iime permiI:)


4.
Dc Ihe Se|ecIive Fec|iIy" exerci:e
Week CNF. Ycu c: tne cwne| c| ycu| cwn cu:|ne::.
Week WC. Ycu |n ycu| |cec| |e|ct|cn:n|p
Week HFFF. Ycu cn cn u|t|ncte vccct|cn
Week FCUF. Ycu ce|ng wc||c |cncu:


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204


Ihoughfs ln C|os|ng



Ihe Iime hc: ccme fcr cur ccvenIure here Ic enc. 8uI :ince ycu hcve
:Icyec wiIh me c|| Ihe wcy Ihrcugh, l cm exIreme|y prcuc cf ycu. Mcny
cIher pecp|e wi|| hcve given up, igncrec Ihe exerci:e:, cr :imp|y c||cwec
Ihem:e|ve: Ic Le Icc ci:IrccIec Ic fu|fi|| Ihe jcurney wiIh u:. ln fccI, Ihere:
|ike|y SCMECNE whc: reccing Ihe:e wcrc:, whc hc: ncI ccne c|| Ihe
exerci:e: yeI. Shcme cn IhcI per:cnl
/: l wriIe Ihi:, l cm :imu|Icnecu:|y wcrking cn Ihe nexI Lcck in Ihe 8eIc
inIc /|phc" :erie:. Shcu|c ycu chc:e Ic purchc:e iI, Ihen l |cck fcrwcrc Ic
:eeing" ycu cgcin, cnc ccnIinuing cur ccvenIure IcgeIher.
l cm crrcgcnI encugh Ic Le|ieve IhcI l cm chcnging Ihe wcr|c Ihrcugh
my prccucI:, cnc humL|e encugh Ic give ycu c re:pecIive Lcw fcr
Le|ieving in me cnc whcI l cm cffering. We cre given cne chcnce Ic
mcke cur re:pecIive |ive: c mc:Ierpiece, cnc l :incere|y hcpe Ihi: Lcck
he|p: ycu in mcking ycur:.
l wcnI Ic hecr frcm ycu, :c e-mci| me cnyIime ycu wi:h, cI
M|choe|Emerynew-o|pho.com cnc fee| free Ic c:k ue:Iicn:, cffer
feecLcck, cnc cf ccur:e, |eI me kncw hcw ycure ccing.
Ncw, gc cuI Ihere cnc un|ec:h ycur:e|f upcn Ihe wcr|cl



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205


kECOMMENDED kEADING



Chonge Your M|nd-And Keep Ihe Chonge Ly SIeve /ncrec:
& Ccnnirce /ncrec:

Ihe E|nste|n Foctor Ly Win Wenger, Fh.D.
& Fichcrc Fce

Emot|ono| Inte|||gence Ly Dcnie| Gc|emcn

Fee| Ihe Feor...And 8eyond Ly Su:cn Jeffer:, Fh.D.

FbIbkEkIIbAL Ly Fhi|ip H. FcrLer

In||uence Ly FcLerI 8. Cic|cini, Fh. D.

Los|ng My V|rg|n|ty Ly Fichcrc 8rcn:cn

Mon's Seorch |or Meon|ng Ly VikIcr E. Frcnk|

M|nd-L|nes Ly L. Michce| Hc||, Fh. D.
& 8cLLy G. 8ccenhcmer, D.Min.

NutsI Ly Kevin & Jcckie FreiLerg

kod|co| Honesty Ly 8rcc 8|cnIcn, Fh. D.
& Froct|c|ng kod|co| Honesty Ly 8rcc 8|cnIcn, Fh. D.

kenegodes o| the Emp|re Ly Michce| Drummcnc

Ihe k|ght M|nd Ly FcLerI Crn:Iein

Iro|n|ng Ironces Ly Jchn Cvercurf
& Ju|ie Si|verIhcrn

Ihe Ir|ck to Money |s Hov|ng Some Ly SIucrI Wi|ce

V|rus o| the M|nd Ly Fichcrc 8rccie

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