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Teacher: If a = b and b = c, then a = c, now Pedro, bigyan mo ako ng praktikal na halimbawa sa totoong buhay.

Pedro: if I love and you sir and you love your daughter, then I love your daughter

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated. Golden rule for math teachers: You must tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, but not the whole truth. "Do you love your math more than me?" "Of course not, dear - I love you much more." "Then prove it!" "OK... Let R be the set of all lovable objects..." Theorem: There are two groups of people in the world; those who believe that the world can be divided into two groups of people, and those who don't. Life is complex. It has real and imaginary components. Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children? A: "I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..." "The number you have dialled is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again." My geometry teacher was sometimes acute, and sometimes obtuse, but always, he was right. Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED: Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Mathematical formula for success: From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer

these questions: What makes up 100% in life? If: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard work and knowledge will get you close, And, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top!!!

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