TARBIYAH

PROPER EDUCATION
One of the most tasking endeavours, yet one of the most noble , is bringing up
righteous children. One of the rights of the child upon the parent is the right to
education and upbringing.
Raising and educating children is one of the duties required of parents. Allaah has
enjoined that in the Quraan, and the Messenger also enjoined that.
Allaah says:
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6. O You who believe! ward off from yourselves and Your families a Fire (Hell) whose
fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who
disobey not, (from executing) the commands they receive from Allh, but do that which
they are commanded. -Al-Quraan 66:6

Imaam Tabari said, commenting on this verse:
Here Allaah is saying: O you who believe in Allaah and His Messenger, ward off yourselves
teach one another that which will protect those who do it from the fire and ward if off from them,
if it is done in obedience to Allaah and they do it in obedience to Allaah. The phrase and your
families against a fire means- and teach your families to do acts of obedience to Allaah so
that they may protect themselves from the fire.. -[Tafseer Tabari, 18/165]
The Muslim-any Muslim-is a daaiyah who calls people to Allaah, so the first people
whom he calls should be his children and family who are close to him. When Allaah
commanded His Messenger to call people, Allaah says:
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214. and warn Your tribe (O Muhammad Sal-Allaahu 'alayhe Wa Sallam) of near
kindred. -Al-Quraan 26:214

because they are the first people whom he should do good and show mercy.
The Messenger gave the parents the responsibility of raising the children and
made that obligatory upon them.
It was narrated from Ibn Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he heard the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: Each of you is a
shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a
shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is
responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husbands house and children
and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of his masters wealth and is
responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his
flock. -Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853) and Muslim (1829).

The foremost duty of the parent is to bring them up from a young age to love Allaah
and His Messenger and to love the teachings of Islaam. The parent should teach the
child that Allaah has a Paradise and a Hell; that His Hell is hot and its fuel is men and
stones.
Imaam an-Nawawee said: The father must discipline his chikd and teach him what he needs
to know of religious duties. This teaching is obligatory upon the father and all those in charge of
children before the child reaches the age of adolescence.
Al-Shaafiee and his companions said: This teaching is also obligatory upon the mother, if
there is no father, because it is part of the childs upbringing and they have a share of that and
the wages for this teaching may be taken from the childs own wealth. If the child has no wealth
then the one who is obliged to spend on him may spend on his education, because it is one of the
things that he needs. And Allaah knows the best. [Sharh An-Nawawi ala Saheeh
Muslim, 8/44]
So parents must take care of teaching their children the duties of Islaam and
other virtues that are recommended in Shareeah, and worldly matters that they need in
order to live a decent life in this world.
From the evidences that justify the preceding paragraph is the sayings of Allaah
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13. and (remember) when Luqmn said to his son when He was advising him: "O My
son! join not In Worship others with Allh. Verily! joining others In Worship with Allh
is a great Zlm (wrong) indeed. -al-Quraan 31:13
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: Teach your
children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not pray
when they are ten years old, and separate them in their beds.
[Narrated by Abu Dawood (495) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi
Dawood. ]
The companions compiled with this prophetic command faithfully.
And it was narrated in Saheeh al-Bukhaari that Amr ibn Salamah al-Jarami said: My
father came from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said that
he had heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, When the
time for prayer comes, let the one among you who knows the most Quraan lead you in
prayer. They looked and they did not find anyone who knew more Quraan than me,
so they made me lead them in prayer, and I was a boy of six or seven years.
The companions also taught the children to fast at a very young age.
It was narrated that al-Rubayyi bint Muawwidh ibn Afra (may Allah be pleased with
her) said: On the morning of Ashoora, the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) sent word to the villages of the Ansaar around Madeenah, saying:
Whoever started the day fasting, let him complete his fast, and whoever started the
day not fasting, let him complete the rest of the day (without food).
After that, we used to fast on this day, and we would make our children fast too, even
the little ones in sha Allaah. We would make them toys out of wool, and if one of them
cried for food, we would give (that toy) to him until it was time to break the fast.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1960) and Muslim (1136).
Al-Tirmidhi (926) narrated that al-Saaib ibn Yazeed said: My father took me for Hajj
with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) during the
Farewell Pilgrimage when I was seven years old. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Muslim (2378) narrated that Ibn Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A
woman lifted up a child of hers and said: O Messenger of Allaah, is there Hajj for this
one? He said: Yes, and you will have the reward.

Training in good manners and characteristics
Every father and mother should train their children in praiseworthy
characteristics and good manners, whether towards Allaah, His Prophet the Messenger
of Allaah towards their Quraan and Ummah, and with everyone whom they know and
who has rights over them. They should not behave badly with those whom they mix
with, their neighbours or their friends.
The father should bring them up with good manners in all things; eating,
drinking, dressing, sleeping, going out of the house, entering the house, riding in
vehicles, etc., and in all their affairs. He should instill in them attributes of a good
person, such as love of sacrifice, putting others first, helping others, chivalry and
generosity. He should keep them away from evil characteristics such as cowardice,
stinginess, lack of chivalry, lack of ambition, etc.,
He must also protect his sons and daughters from everything that may bring
them close to the fire.
He must keep them away from the places of immorality and misguidance; do not
leave them to grow up with evil things from the television etc., then after that expect
them to be righteous, for whoever sows thorns cannot harvest grapes.
That should be done when they are young, so that it will be easy for them when
they grow up, and they will get used to it, and it will be easy for you to tell them what
to do and what not to do, and it will be easy for them to obey you.
But the educator must be merciful, forbearing, easy-going and approachable, not
foul mouthed or unapproachable. He should teach in a manner that is better, far
removed from insults, rebuke and beating, unless the child is one of those who willfully
disobey and reject his fathers commands and neglects his duties and does haraam
things; in that case it is better to use stern measures with him, without causing him
harm.
For a father to discipline his child when he reaches the age of discernment [i.e.
when the child is ten years old] means that he should raise him with the characteristics
of the righteous believers and protect him from mixing with evildoers; he should teach
him Quraan and its good manners and its language; he should let him hear the Sunnah
and the sayings of the Salaf [pious predecessors] and teach him the religious rulings that
he cannot do without.
So raising children should be balance between encouragement and warning. The
most important element of all is making the environment in which the children live a
good one, by providing the means whereby they may be guided; this means their
educators should be religiously committed, including their parents. One of the ways in
which a parent may be successful in raising his children is to use a cassette player to
play tapes of teachings, Quraan recitation, khutbahs and lessons of scholars, for there
are many available.