University of Belgrade

Faculty of Philology
English Language and Literature Department

Masters Thesis

THE BIPOLAR LIVES OF JANIS JOPLIN AND AMY WINEHOUSE

Dr Novica Petrovi (mentor)

Belgrade January, 2013

Dragana Aneli (student)

APSTRAKT
Ova studija predstavlja prvi pokuaj istraivanja bipolarnog poremeaja i njegovog ispoljavanja i uticaja na ivote Denis Doplin i Ejmi Vajnhaus. Pripadnici razliitih drutvenih miljea su u vie navrata raspravljali o ivotima dveju umetnica, ali su oni u retkim sluajevima posmatrani kroz prizmu mentalne bolesti. To je ujedno i razlog, pored ljubavi prema muzici, koji je autora naveo da pokua da ove neoekivano usamljene i esto pogreno shvaene linosti sagleda u neto drugaijem svetlu. Prvi deo studije se koncentrie na pojam mentalne bolesti i bipolarnog poremeaja kao jednog od njenih najteih oblika. Rezultati ukazuju na nesumnjivo vievekovno postojanje mentalne bolesti, sa donekle promenljivim tumaenjima iste; jednaki rezultati vae i za bipolarni poremeaj iji koncept je bio podloan promenama u onolikoj meri u kolikoj se ljudski um razvijao, a njegov uticaj na kreativnost je dokumentovan. Studija se potom bavi analizom ivota Denis Doplin i Ejmi Vajnhaus od samog detinjstva, preko nemirnog perioda puberteta, sve do dana slave i njihovih traginih svretaka, ukazujui na dogaaje koji su mogli signalizirati pojavu i prisustvo mentalne bolesti. Oslanjajui se na brojne izvore, rezultati pokazuju da su Denis i Ejmi u sebi nosile snane kreativne porive jo u ranim godinama, i da postoji realna mogunost da su oevi obe umetnice imali depresivnu linost, to ini genetsku predispoziciju za nastanak bipolarnog poremeaja. Rana upotreba psihoaktivnih substanci, krajnje nemirni temperamenti, primetna melanholija, haotini obrasci linih veza, kreativna dostignua i tragine smrti ukazuju na prisustvo mentalne bolesti i njene pogubne efekte. Na kraju, rezultati studije idu u prilog oekivanjima da su Denis Doplin i Ejmi Vajnhaus velikim delom ivota pokazivale simptome bipolarnog poremeaja. Ova teza je napisana sa eljom da se pomenute umetnice posmatraju iz drugaije perspektive i da se na taj nain unekoliko doprinese shvatanju njihovih linosti, neporecivih talenata i umetnike zaostavtine.

Kljune rei: bipolarni poremeaj, Denis Doplin, Ejmi Vajnhaus, manina depresija, kreativnost.

ABSTRACT

This study is an initial attempt to investigate bipolar disorder and its manifestations and impact on the tragic lives of Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse. Their lives have been discussed numerous times by people from different walks of life, but they have rarely been observed through the prism of mental illness. For this reason and her love of music, the present author decided to try to shed a different light on these unexpectedly solitary and often misunderstood individuals. In the first part, the study focuses on the notion of mental illness and bipolar disorder as its most severe manifestation. The results show that mental illness has undoubtedly existed for millennia now, with somewhat changeable interpretations; the same holds true for bipolar disorder, whose concept has changed in accordance with the evolution of human mind, and its effects on creativity have been documented. The thesis then analyzes the lives of Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse from their childhood and restless puberty days until their days of fame and tragic deaths, pointing to the events that could have signaled the occurrence and the presence of mental illness. Drawing on a number of sources, the results show that both Janis and Amy displayed strong creative impulses at an early age, and that their fathers probably had bouts of depression, which forms a genetic predisposition to bipolar disorder. Their early psychoactive substance abuse, restless temperaments, noticeable melancholy, chaotic pattern of personal relationships, creative accomplishments, and tragic deaths all point to the presence of mental illness and its devastating effects. In conclusion, the results of the study support the expectations that Janis and Amy displayed symptoms of bipolar disorder for the most part of their lives. This thesis hopes to offer a different perspective on the two artists, and thus make a modest contribution to the understanding of their personalities, indisputable talents, and their artistic legacy.

Key words: bipolar disorder, Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, manic depression, creativity.

ii

TABLE OF CONTENTS

APSTRAKT.....................................................................................................................................i ABSTRACT....................................................................................................................................ii TABLE OF CONTENTS ...iii

Chapter 1. BIPOLAR DISORDER 1 1.1 Mental illness what is it?.......................................................................................1 1.2 The ever-changing understanding of bipolar disorder.4 1.3 Causes, manifestations, and diagnosis.6 1.4 Bipolar disorder and the artistic personality.....8 Chaper 2. IM A VICTIM OF MY OWN INSIDES Janis Joplin10 2.2 Just like everybody else?.......................................................................................10 2.3 Down on her..13 2.4 A fiery melancholiac..16 2.5 Get it while you are lonely.....20 Chaper 3. I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY Amy Winehouse24 3.1 Naughty and stubborn...24 3.2 On the way to stretch her limitsand beyond.27 3.3 She honestly meant all of it..30 3.4 A losing battle...34

CONCLUSION............................................................................................................................. 39 BIBLIOGRAPHY......................................................................................................................... 41

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God, but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of parties with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.

Sylvia Plath

Chapter 1. BIPOLAR DISORDER

1.1 Mental illness - what is it?
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV (DSM IV), also known as the psychiatrists bible, says that mental illness is characterized by dysfunction in an individuals behaviors, emotions, and other mental processes. It defines mental illness as a group of co-occurring symptoms which generate substantial distress and interfere with a persons ability to function in everyday life; although a person can suffer due to a mental disorder, it is sometimes impossible to diagnose it until it has caused significant distress or impairment of behavior. The DSM emphasizes that mental illness is not an expected emotional reaction to the death of a loved one, job loss, or other dramatic life events. Likewise, it is not culturally deviant behavior or a conflict between the individual and society unless it is proved that the individuals mind (or brain) is dysfunctional as described.1 Just as there are various forms of human behavior and personality types, there is also a wide range of different categories of mental disorders, and anxiety and mood disorders are only some of them. Furthermore, mental disorders vary greatly in type and severity: schizophrenia causes hallucinations and adversities in everyday performance; seasonal affective disorder follows an annual pattern consistent with the seasons and causes far less disability in comparison to schizophrenia; and different types of phobias, e.g. snake phobia, have a minor impact on a persons life. Experts claim that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders provides explicit criteria for objectively diagnosing every single mental disorder. Generally speaking, mental disorders are defined by a combination of how an individual feels, perceives, thinks, or acts. According to that, a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other medical professional distinguishes a cluster of symptoms that characterize a mental disorder. Although the psychiatrists bible currently contains more than 300 disorders, it is intriguing to learn that the causes of these disorders are still undetermined and that determining these causes is considered a highly complex task which includes analysis of a variety of environmental and genetic factors. It has been concluded so far that a person can suffer from a mental illness as a result of genetic predisposition, brain injury, life experiences, and/or brain chemistry.2 As reported by the World Health Organization (WHO), more than a third of people in most countries report problems at some time in their life which meet the criteria for diagnosis of
1

Definition of a Mental Disorder, Proposed Revision, see

<http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=465#, accessed on 10 January, 2013.

2

For more on causes of mental illness, see http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/mental-health-causes-mental-illness,10 January, 2013.

one or more of the common types of mental disorders. Recent research in the USA point to the fact that nearly 50 percent of Americans have been mentally ill at some point in their lives, and that approximately 25% of people in the UK have a mental health problem during their lives. In the UK, Canada, the USA, and the rest of the developed countries, mental disorders are the dominant cause of disability among the young and the middle-aged.3 The most common mental illnesses are anxiety and mood disorders as well as schizophrenia disorders. Anxiety disorders are reported by the majority of people; the people affected by these types of disorders have a serious fear or anxiety about certain objects or situations, and they do everything they can to avoid the situations that can lead to such strong feelings and emotions. Mood or depressive disorders cause highly changeable moods, from extreme sadness to euphoria or mania. Despite the fact schizophrenia was recognized a long time ago, experts have still not reached a consensus in regard to it. Whether it is a unique mental disorder or a group of co-related disorders is yet to be concluded. Most of the serious mental disorders can also be called episodic disorders because of the symptoms that come and go with periods of normal and productive life. Methods and types of treatments depend on the severity of the disorder and on the individual. The fact which is very specific about mental health is that what works for one person might not work for someone else. Some treatment strategies might be successful when combined with others, but it is important to emphasize that experts think a well-informed patient probably knows best what treatment will provide the most beneficial results. Today the mentally ill can try out a great number of medications, different types of psychotherapies, diets, physical exercises, hypnosis, etc. At the end of this brief introduction to mental illness, it is equally important to mention the opinion of Richard J. McNally, Harvard University professor of psychology, who believes that the boundary between mental distress and mental illness will never be neat and clean.4 That is why one should not be surprised by the fact that what is considered a mental disorder depends on changeable economic, cultural, and political factors. Some psychiatrists even go further and claim that there is no such thing as mental illness.5 Be that as it may, mental illness has existed for centuries now and one can only hope that one day science will be able to point to reasons why a person has become mentally ill, and which treatments will work best to cure the illness. Now, let us turn to the disorder that has been suggested as the reason for the dramatic and tragic lives of Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse.

For more on mental health and mental disorders, see http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/154543.php , 10 January, 2013. 4 McNally, What Is Mental Illness, p. 212. 5 Szasz, The Myth of Mental Illness, p. 1.

1.2 The ever-changing understanding of bipolar disorder

The concept of bipolar disorder dates back to ancient times. The term mania was first mentioned at the beginning of Homers Iliad to describe Achilles uncontrollable rage, whereas melancholia, today known as depression, was first noted in Hippocrates writings and was associated with over-secretion of black bile from the liver. On the basis of Hippocrates conclusions, Galen was the first who used the term hypochondria to describe a physical illness with psychological symptomatology.6 Another Greek master clinician, Aretaeus of Cappadocia, observed that euphoria may follow melancholy, thus describing for the first time the two phases and the periodic course of bipolar illness. The Greeks were evidently the first who made the effort to associate mental illness not with divine or demonic powers but with biological explanations. Between the Classical Times and Renaissance, melancholy was frequently mentioned, albeit in the Dark Ages it was repeatedly associated with magic influence or sin. After medieval times the first theory which offered a non-mystical approach to human soul and disease was Descartes. It attempted to explain psychiatric disease as the result of adverse childhood experiences or transmission of feelings from the mother to the unborn child. Biological theories of depression dominated throughout the 16th and most of the 17th centuries, but by the end of the 17th century, there was a conceptual change in psychiatry and priority was given to the description of symptomatology. During the 19th century, melancholia was considered by some scientists to be an intellectual disorder, while others thought it was related to temperament. Until the middle of the 19th century, psychiatric diagnosis was based on the symptoms manifested at the time of the examination but, since the first psychiatric asylums were established in the second half of the 18th century, diagnostic criteria changed because doctors were now able to observe patients for longer periods of time.7 One of the most influential psychiatrists of the late 19th century, Emil Kraeplin, was the first to propose the use of the term manic-depressive insanity to describe all forms of repeating psychoses.8 He also substituted the term melancholia with depression to describe the mood disorder that is part of the manic-depressive insanity. Apart from Kreaplin, Meyer and Freud also greatly contributed to our understanding of mood disorders. Freud thought manic-depressive illness was a result of low self-esteem stemming from a disturbed childhood, and Meyer introduced Kreaplins classification in the USA, pointing out that many types of depression should not be considered a part of manic-depressive illness.9
6 7
8

Kasper, The Handbook of Bipolar Disorder, p. 1, 2. Ibid., p. 2

Ibid., p. 3. Ibid., p. 3, 4.

At the end of the 1950s, Leonhard proposed a new distinction, that of unipolar vs. bipolar illness. In the 1960s and 1970s, WHO and ICD (The International Classification of Diseases) proposed somewhat vague diagnostic guidelines and did not help much regarding diagnostic reliability of psychiatric illnesses. At about the same time, American Psychological Association (APA) issued the DSM III according to which major depressive disorders were subdivided into bipolar disorder and major depression, the distinguishing feature being whether or not a manic episode has ever occurred.10 Over the last 10 to 15 years, so much knowledge about bipolar disorder has exploded on all fronts. The use of modern classification systems and manuals has come along with various standardized questionnaires and rating scales, usually reflecting the diagnostic guidelines of DSM and ICD or other criteria. Further subdivisions of bipolar disorder have been proposed, from bipolar I to bipolar IV, and even V. Bipolar disorder is thus subdivided on the basis of history of hospitalization for mania and/or significant loss of functioning in life during a manic episode.11 To sum up, the history of bipolar disorder was, still is, and will probably continue to be changeable and to a large extent unpredictable, although there are some promising advancements. It should be noted here that the diagnosis of bipolar disorder, based solely on symptoms, has always lacked firm validating criteria that, if they existed, could prove that the clinical diagnosis corresponds to a specific disease. Nevertheless, experts claim that todays diagnosis of bipolar disorder improves diagnostic reliability among clinicians, infers meaningful clinical distinctions, helps in the prediction of the clinical course, and also predicts the response to treatment.

10

11

Ibid., p. 5. Ibid., loc. cit.

1. 3 Causes, manifestations, and diagnosis

Despite all the advancements in the field of mental illness, causes of manic depression remain unknown for the time being. The fact that two-thirds of bipolar patients have a family history of emotional disorders has motivated scientists and researchers to look for a genetic link which manifested itself in the family studies showing that the most common mental disorder in first-degree family members is depression. At the Depression and Creativity Symposium held in Washington in 2009, a psychologist and the author of Touched with Fire, who is bipolar herself, said that bipolar disorder was undoubtedly genetic and that it generally starts occurring at an early age.12 On the other hand, according to The Handbook of Bipolar Disorder, it is possible that a very small proportion of bipolar illnesses manifests for the first time after the age of 65.13 Other possible biological causes of bipolar disorder such as imbalanced neurochemical transmitters have been suggested. It is important to point out that the transmitters are heavily influenced by drugs and alcohol, and more than half of bipolar patients report a history of drug and alcohol abuse, which is, in psychiatrists opinion, a form of self-medication. Some studies have shown that as much as 60% of substance abusers had symptoms of bipolar disorder. As the name itself suggests, manic-depressive illness or bipolar disorder is characterized by periods of mania and depression, with periods of normal functioning in between. Mania is an elevated or euphoric mood or irritable state that is characteristic of bipolar I disorder. It is marked by mental and physical hyperactivity, disorganization of behavior, and inappropriate elevation of mood. Hypomania, on the other hand, is a milder form of mania which is characteristic of bipolar II disorder. Hypomanic or manic individuals usually have an inflated self-esteem, as well as a certainty of conviction about the correctness and importance of their ideas. This grandiosity can contribute to poor judgment, which, in turn, often results in chaotic patterns of personal and professional relationships. Reduced need for sleep is not characteristic of any other psychiatric disorder and is usually seen in manic and hypomanic states.14 Increased sexuality is less prevalent but highly specific and impulsivity as well as irritability appear to be a factor present in nearly all studies of bipolar patients. Mania is characterized by excesses of all kinds and intemperate drinking may be just one aspect of this general pattern. Alcohol does provide relief from the irritability, restlessness and agitation associated with mania and, not surprisingly, alcohol use often increases dramatically during mixed states (the states in which symptoms of both depression and mania occur simultaneously).15 Unfortunately, however, alcohol and drug abuse often worsens the overall course of manic-depressive illness.
12

Jamison, Music and the Brain: Depression and Creativity Symposium, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4UJhPiBE6c, 20 December, 2012. 13 Kasper, op. cit., p. 85. 14 Ibid., p. 13 15 Ibid., p. 38.

In regard to depression, there are certain characteristics of bipolar depression which are relatively specific. Firstly, this kind of depression lasts approximately 2 weeks and sometimes, in severe cases, months. Secondly, bipolar disorder is more likely to appear first as a depressive episode with the following symptoms: low energy levels, feelings of despair, difficulty concentrating, extreme fatigue, psychomotor retardation (slowed mental and physical capabilities), insomnia or hypersomnia, markedly diminished interest or pleasure in activities, significant weight loss or decrease or increase in appetite, feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt, diminished ability to think or concentrate, indecisiveness, and suicidal ideation.16 Substance abuse, thyroid disease, and use of prescription or over-the-counter medication can mask or mimic the presence of bipolar disorder. In cases of substance abuse, the patient must undergo a period of detoxification and abstinence before a mood disorder is diagnosed and treatment begins. A remarkable finding that is consistent throughout many surveys of patients with bipolar disorder is that patients have to wait for an average of 10 years from their first symptoms to first medication. In addition, bipolar II disorder can go undiagnosed because hypomanic episodes are characterized by high energy and goal-directed activities and often result in a positive outcome, or are perceived in a positive manner by the patient. Having bipolar disorder is quite different from having other diseases. Patients suffering from an illness accept the fact that they need to take medication in order to feel better and control their illness, but people with bipolar illness oftentimes refuse to take medication and follow an appropriate treatment. Even during a manic or a depressive episode, bipolar patients are frequently not aware they have a problem (a condition known as anosognosia) and therefore firmly believe they do not need a treatment at all.17 Experts claim that the worst thing a person with bipolar disorder can do is avoid treatment because the disorder tends to get worse in case of non-treatment. A lot of studies show that manic and depressive episodes become more frequent and severe over time, with more depressive and less manic episodes. Gary Sachs, founder and director of the Bipolar Clinic and Research Program at Massachusetts General Hospital, and associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School in Boston says: If youve had several [bipolar] episodes, there is probably a 60 to 80 percent chance that you will have one episode every year if untreated.18 However, with a proper treatment, which usually includes medication and psychotherapy, a bipolar patient can probably cut the risk of having an episode by half. Psychiatrists always emphasize the importance of taking medication even between the episodes of depression or mania, since the consistency in taking medication usually stabilizes mood swings. It is interesting to learn that all of the previously explained behavioral characteristics form not only a part of the manic-depressive personality, but the artistic one as well.
16 17

Ibid., p. 13. McCoy, Bipolar Disorder and Anosognosia. 18 Idem., The Course of Bipolar Disorder Over Time.

1.3 Bipolar disorder and the artistic personality

It has been presented in recent research that, compared to general population, writers and artists show exceedingly disproportionate rate of depressive illnesses, including manic-depressive illness. Great people, composers, writers, and poets with probable severe depressive disorders are, among many: Beethoven, Van Gogh, Lord Byron, Hector Berlioz, Edgar Allan Poe, Mikhail Glinka, John Keats, Honore de Balzac, Robert Schumann, Charles Dickens, Maxim Gorky, Nikolai Gogol, Leo Tolstoy, etc.19 There is also a surprisingly large number of popular musicians with some type of bipolar disorder: Connie Francis, Tom Waits, Nina Simone, Frank Sinatra, Bessie Smith, Axl Rose, Sinead O'Connor, Ben Moody, Rosemary Clooney, Jimi Hendrix, Macy Gray, Emilie Autumn, Ozzy Osbourne, Beth Hart, Brian Wilson, Amy Winehouse, Ray Davies, Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Adam Ant, and so on. Some of the musicians (Emilie Autumn, Sinead OConnor, Beth Hart, Kurt Cobain, Rosemary Clooney, etc.) have openly spoken about thei r illness on TV, in newspaper articles or in their autobiographies, and others have displayed obvious symptoms of the disorder for the most part of their lives. A possible link between madness and genius has existed for centuries now, always causing controversy and speculations of all kinds. In ancient times, it was believed that divine madness and inspiration could be attained only during, for instance, loss of consciousness, illness, madness, or states of possession or obsession.20 Nowadays, experts think the artistic states of mind, often called fine madness, are characterized by raging energy, high mood, quick intelligence, a sense of the visionary and the grand, and a restless and feverish temperament. Unfortunately, immensely darker moods, grimmer energies and, from time to time, bouts of madness are also an integral part of the artistic mind. The opposite moods and energies form the common view not only of the artistic but also the manic-depressive personality. Learning through intense, extreme, and often painful experiences, and using what has been learned to add meaning and depth to creative work, is probably the most widely accepted and written about aspect of the relationship between melancholy, madness, and the artistic experience.21 Before the relationship is explained in detail, it is essential to emphasize that it is not necessary for an artist to go through all the extremes of moods and, of course, good art is not guaranteed by these changes alone. Creative accomplishment cannot result from the mere quickening and opening up of thought in an otherwise unimaginative person. If, however, the changes in thought previously mentioned are coupled with imagination and discipline, the possibilities for creating lasting and sustaining art may be greatly enhanced.22
19

For a list of famous people who allegedly suffered from bipolar disorder, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_with_bipolar_disorder, 10 January, 2013. 20 Kasper, op. cit., p. 1, 2. 21 Jamison, op. cit., p. 2. 22 Ibid., 113

Manic patients, according to recent research, exhibit striking combinatory thinking. Mania also increases ones ability to rhyme, pun and associate sounds, and many patients instinctively start writing poetry when manic, even with no prior interest in either reading or writing it. In addition, manic patients tend not only to speak more and more rapidly, but also to use more colorful and powerful speech which frequently attracts other people.23 Hypomania and mania often bring about various ideas and associations, propel contact with life and other people, prompt frantic energies and enthusiasms, and cast an ecstatic, somewhat cosmic hue over life. When all these states are united with an imaginative, observant, and rather disciplined mind, they might result in literary, musical, and artistic works of unique power.24 In contrast to mania, depression gives a completely different view on reality, one which unmasks the transient nature of life and the finality of death. It is therefore not surprising to learn that recent research has shown that observations and beliefs brought about during mildly depressed states are actually closer to reality than normal mood states, which underscores the omnipresent denial in everyday life and gives credence to T. S. Eliots view that human kind cannot bear very much reality.25 In addition to the changes in mood and thought that are brought about by mania and depression, everyday aspects of the bipolar temperament can provide artistic benefits as well. Life is a tempestuous experience for those whose moods change often and intensely. The manicdepressive or cyclothymic temperament has the capacity to react strongly and quickly and it is, biologically, an alert and excitable system.26 It responds to the world with a broad range of emotional, perceptual, intellectual, behavioral, and energy changes, and it creates around itself both the possibilities and chaos afforded by altered experiences and tempos. A study has showed that one of the major characteristics of the individuals with cyclothymic temperament is easily falling in love; their creative impulses usually mirror the restless pursuit of romantic opportunities.27 The fluctuations in life, the dynamics of temperament, and all the difficulties of fine madness are well illustrated by the tragic lives of Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse to whom we turn to next.

23

Ibid., 107, 108 Ibid., p. 27-33. 25 Ibid., p. 119. 26 Benazzi, Cyclothymic Temperament The Impact of Age. 27 Hagop, The Evolutionary Significance Of Affective Temperaments.
24

Chaper 2. IM A VICTIM OF MY OWN INSIDES Janis Joplin

2.1 Just like everyone else?
Many people might think that the first and the most influential rock n roll woman must have had a terrible and distressing childhood which largely influenced both the formation of her powerful and destructive character, and the chosen lifestyle in her later life; however, despite the fact there is a

certain psychological basis to support such a view, Janiss early childhood, according to her many biographers, was not filled with torment, distress, or anguish. This extravagant, highly emotional, intelligent, witty, and creative artist was born and brought up in a small oil refinery town which was, on the one hand, full of established traditional and religious norms and, on the other, very difficult for growing up due to a lot of violence and bars, brothels, and gambling dens. The town that, in Janiss own words, laughed her out, was the place of the good as opposed to the bad, where the majority of its families raised their children in accordance with tradition their daughters were supposed to become proper ladies, their sons southern gentlemen.28 As soon as she grew up and reached pop stardom, Janis described her hometown simply as drab while at the same time recounting her childhood as nearly idyllic.29 The drab town sounded like a good place to live to Janiss father Seth who was most notably responsible for Janiss love of books and contemplation, and perhaps her inclination towards alcohol and drugs. Seth was a passionate reader, but besides being a secret intellectual all his life, he was also well known for illegally making gin and smoking marijuana in his youth.30 Although he had been known as a womanizer, Seth eventually decided to marry Dorothy, Janiss mother, with whom he would escape Port Arthur boredom by visiting Louisiana bars where they would drink alcohol and enjoy excellent dance music. Janis inherited her musical gift primarily from her mother Dorothy, a very talented and promising singer endowed with a voice so powerful and pure that it fascinated almost anyone who heard it.31 She sang at weddings and in churches and, while still in high school, she was offered a role in a musical in New York but she refused it. In lieu of going to New York, Dorothy obtained a scholarship by winning a singing competition and she started studying solo singing in Texas; it turned out very soon that her professor taught only opera, so she dropped out and went back home. Just like Janis herself, her decisive, disciplined, and highly intelligent mother was once known as an audacious girl prone to rebellious behavior which was, in America in the 1930s, characterized by short haircuts, tight dresses, high-heels, cigarette smoking, and table dancing.32
28 29

Friedman, Buried Alive: The Biography of Janis Joplin, location 461. Faris, Living in the Dead Zone, location 31. 30 Friedman, op. cit., location 502. 31 Joplin, S ljubavlju, Janis, p. 29. 32 Ibid., p. 29-31.

Janis was the first child born not on a farm but in a town hospital. The Joplins claimed that absolutely nothing in Janiss early childhood pointed to the problems that she later faced and fought. The symptoms of bipolar disorder are mostly the same in children and in adults with shorter duration of episodes in children and, according to Janiss biographers, there were no signs of mania, depression, irritability, or other symptoms in her childhood. Quite the contrary, Dorothy disclosed that it was fairly easy to rear the intelligent and, as stated by Janiss sister Laura, early matured girl with a beautiful smile. Janiss behavior and attitudes, said Dorothy, were not in any way different from other children, although she appeared somewhat unhappy if she did not get enough attention all the time. Drawing, music, and writing were the artistic tendencies that Janis started exhibiting at an early age; surprisingly, she was merely 8 years old when she wrote her first play. Even though some of her biographers claim she was an excellent pupil, her sister Laura brought out the fact that Janiss achievements in the lower grades of the elementary school could be called good but not excellent.33 The reason for that was, in Lauras opinion, the fact that Janis was not fully challenged by the schools programs and the boredom later turned into an open rebellion against both her teachers and the monotonous education system of the time. Although it seemed that Janiss incredible voice sprang out of nowhere when she was 17, her love of music came from a very specific and unique place her parents. Janiss father Seth loved classical music, whereas Dorothy was more inclined towards folk and blues. The house was full of music most of the time and Dorothy tried her best to teach Janis to play ch ildrens songs on the piano and sing scales properly, thus causing discordant noise in the house, irritating Seth, and oftentimes leading to parents altercations. After having her thyroid removed, Dorothy almost completely lost her ability to sing and Seth decided to sell the piano so that it did not remind Dorothy of her tragic loss.34 There is a possibility that this event had a certain impact on the formation of Janiss attitude towards music that resulted in her later persistent fear of losing her voice and, therefore, her career.35 In spite of that, Janis must have also been highly aware of her excessive drinking and smoking that had an equally huge impact on her voice. Whether Dorothy was merely forgetful or she simply needed to present her eldest childs life as positive as possible will remain unknown, but we can now learn from Myra Friedmans biography that Dorothy had no negative words for her daughters behavior in childhood. On the other hand, Janiss sister Laura sheds a different light on Janiss childhood and claims that Seth and Dorothy were at times shocked by Janiss inappropriate behavior and her testing her parents limits much more than the two younger children were ever allowed to.36 Her pronounced stubbornness, previously not so apparent, could be observed when Seth tried to make her stop thumb sucking at the age of 8 by forbidding her to listen to her favorite radio show. Janis went
33 34

Ibid., p. 50. Ibid., p. 37, 38. 35 Guse, Forever 27 - A Psychological Profile of Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Jimi Hendrix, location 490. 36 Ibid., p. 38.

10

wildly hysterical and left her parents in a complete bewilderment. Besides the evident stubbornness, Janis loved to compete and be the winner in numerous creative activities her parents came up with. There is a possibility that one of those activities caused Janiss feelings of sympathy for renegades because Seth used to entertain his children by taking them to the local post office where they would look at the pictures of wanted criminals.37 It was even more inappropriate when, to Dorothys shock and disapproval, Seth told Janis how he had been trying to make gin in his youth, which much later resulted in Janiss attempt to make beer in a bathtub.38 Contrary to the majority of parents in Port Arthur, Janiss parents, especially Seth, held more liberal attitudes and views although they were very respectful of the behavioral norms in the town. According to psychology, a child makes its way in the world by accepting or rejecting its gender guiding lines and Janis, it seems, made her way in the world by being more inclined towards her father Seth. It is not a secret that Dorothy, a Sunday school teacher, requested Janis to conform to almost all the social norms to dress and behave just like the other girls and make her family proud. These requests had an enormous impact on Janiss later life and probably her constant feelings of inferiority because she would always let her mothers expectations and wishes down. Due to the high and conservative expectations Dorothy set for her eldest daughter, she and Janis would often have arguments and later on, when Janis reached puberty, the arguments turned into serious battles between equally strong wills and characters. As the result of that, Janis started identifying strongly with her atheist father whose inclinations towards mysticism and deeper meanings were probably passed on to Janis. The question is whether these Seths traits were maybe the result of his depressive personality? If that is the case, Janis could have inherited the characteristic that formed a solid basis for her bipolar disorder and also the cooccurring substance abuse, especially alcohol dependence. Studies show that a lot of addicts come from the so-called shaming families in which members never seem able to do anything right or good enough.39 Wrapped up in her mothers rigidness and her fathers kindness, Janis reached puberty and started going to high school. The period was much more arduous for Janis than for the rest of her peers. Suddenly, she said, the whole world went down on her. Or did she go down on it with all the force of her magnetic personality?

37 38

Ibid., p 46. Ibid., p. 36. 39 Nakken, The Addictive Personality, p. 115

11

2.2 Down on her

In 2008 a clinical research showed that novelty seeking, harm avoidance, selfdirectedness, as well as cooperativeness are the personality traits that are often most closely related to bipolar disorder. There are also some authors who claim that anxiety and/or depression may be a primary dimension in bipolar disorder, and these are precisely the conditions Janis started exhibiting as soon as she started high school.40 Before she turned 15, Janis could be seen wearing heavy makeup, curly hair, flat skirt and white shirt, but at about this time she changed that and started openly expressing opinions and attitudes which had probably been buzzing in her head up until then. Had she remained demure, at least physically, maybe her peers would have accepted her rebellious behavior and verbosity, but Janiss change in attitudes went hand in hand with all other changes. She started wearing jeans and T-shirts, adopted a new walking style and posture, and cursing became her favorite form of expression even when she was not angry. Her classmates would provoke her just to hear her swear and Janis did not hold herself down she did get angry and cursed mercilessly and her class would always have a good laugh. Did Janis with her foul mouth actually follow her mothers footsteps since Dorothy was held for an outspoken girl in the 1930s because she used the word damned in public? After being denounced for her verbal excess, Dorothy must have avoided cursing and did her best to teach her eldest daughter the same, but Janis gradually started rejecting all her mothers advice and instructions. Dorothys recommendations on how not to be too different provoked in Janis completely opposite behavior: she once stood in front of her teacher and the whole class and stated, in the middle of racial segregation, that black and white people were the same.41 They started calling her a niggerlover at school and Janis defended herself again by cursing which she practiced with her best friend on a regular basis. Back at home, she would spend hours and hours crying and suffering for being misunderstood. At about this time, another crucial thing happened to Janis at home: her father Seth, whom she adored, stopped having long conversations with her, maybe he wanted a smart son or something like that, said Janis in her conversation with her biographer David Dalton.42 Why did Seth do that? It must have had an enormous impact on Janis and maybe that was one of the reasons she started hanging out with boys and displaying male characteristics. Be that as it may, it was apparent that, since the beginning of her high school days, Janis could not be like everybody else any more. The mental transformation she was going through was closely related to the physical one, and the latter was equally painful and crucial in the formation of Janiss personality, as well as her depression and anxiety that might have led to bipolar disorder and addictions. In the first grade of high school she suffered for being physically underdeveloped in comparison to other girls and when hormones started shaping her body about
40

Fabiano et al, Temperament and Character Traits in Patients With Bipolar Disorder and Associations with Comorbid Alcoholism or Anxiety Disorders. 41 Joplin, op. cit., p. 70. 42 Dalton, Piece of My Heart, location 1357.

12

a year later, she gained a lot of weight and her face broke out. 43 The terrible acne flare-ups never healed completely despite the doctors help and expertise, and Janis suffered the severe skin condition more or less all her life. To make things even worse, her mother and the doctors they were visiting did not do their best to make the sudden ugliness easier for Janis they told her she was the only person to be blamed for her condition,44 so Janis gradually started loathing herself, while at the same time her insecurity grew stronger each day. Her wild long hair hung loose over her cheeks and partly covered her face which most of the time made her feel bad and embarrassed. It seemed that her once strong ego and self-esteem started to fall apart and Janis began to hate her piggish eyes, her initials, face and body, and she bit her nails ferociously. Since a persons self-worth can easily become tied to their physical appearance, Janis definitely refused to play the game she was bound to lose and made her appearance very low priority. She rejected her looks before anyone else could. In accordance with the rejection of feminity and maternal guiding line, Janis started hanging out with a group of boys who showed her, through books and music, a whole new world of a different life and new ways of thinking.45 At about the same time, Jack Kerouac published his famous book On the Road and Janis and her friends completely identified with the story about beatniks. They were also enthusiastic about the works of Allan Ginsberg, D.H. Lawrence, Irving Stone, and James Joyce, and although Elvis Presley was becoming a huge star at the time, Janis and her friends preferred listening and looking up to traditional folk singers such as Willie Mae Thornton, Odetta, Bessie Smith, and Leadbelly.4647 Their voices were filled with the pain of lost love and the sufferings caused by social injustice, and Janis became their most devoted fan. She even owed them, in a way, her later success. At the beginning of high school, Janis started spending time in the local caf where her first painting was sold. Having opened the door to nightlife, Janis opened yet another door she was never again able to close the door to alcohol and drugs. Although she was still not of age, she drank whenever she could and smoked marijuana when she was able to find it, thus learning very early on how to fix reality effortlessly. Janiss alcohol consumption, her secret visits to cafs, and swearing could be attributed to her abrupt and vigorous hormonal changes but, according to her friends, all other girls went through these transformations and yet none of them could ever be compared to Janis. A very close friend revealed that, during one of their numerous parties, she reminded him of a Van Goghs self-portrait utterly frantic with the eyes of a madman. Her inappropriate clothing style, swearing, inflated self-esteem, and the certainty of conviction about the importance of her views would often enrage her schoolmates, and she
43 44

Joplin, op. cit., 61. Ibid., loc. cit. 45 Guse, op. cit., location 445. 46 Joplin, op. cit., p.69., 74. 47 Sometime prior to her death, Janis paid for Bessie Smiths tombstone, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bessie_Smith, 15 January, 2013.

13

became so despised that they would frequently call her a pig and throw nickels at her. It is possible that her peers disdain and hatred induced such a strong feeling of inferiority that Janis could never get rid of it; no matter how desperately she later tried to obtain recognition and affection, the deep-rooted feeling of abandonment and misunderstanding haunted her until the end of her life.48 There is no clear and precise information about the duration of Janiss excesses, and it would certainly provide us with a more detailed insight into her bipolar disorder; nevertheless, her evident irritability, narcissism and engagement in pleasurable activities without regard to painful consequences mixed with depressions she often had, could have pointed to a mental disorder even while she was still in high school. Her excessive alcohol consumption in the early and fragile teenage years could also be viewed as her need to self-medicate her inner turmoil. On one occasion she was asked to visit the school psychologist because of her drinking and inappropriate behavior, but she discarded all the accusations arrogantly, hiding a bottle of wine in her rucksack during the conversation.49 Dorothy and Seths unpopular decision to take her to a psychologist can point to the proportions of her problems. They hoped a psychologist would influence her attitudes and behavior more profoundly and that she would finally start behaving like other teenagers. To their surprise, Janis did appear calm and composed for a while. It has already been mentioned that one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder is promiscuity and, although some of Janiss biographers spoke about her early promiscuity and first homosexual experiences in high school, her high school friends think that she was not sexually active up until her college years. There is a high probability that Janiss terrible arguments with her mother and the rejection of female guiding line had a huge impact on her sexuality which soon enough became even more confusing and incontrollable.50 One of Janiss many biographers noticed that something underlying in Janis put her in destructive situations,51 and her ability to control her increasingly disastrous impulses was decreasing rapidly. In order to escape reality and her overwhelming impulses, Janis zealously turned to painting and music like many other famous manic-depressives. Her relationship with her mother did not improve even at the end of high school, so Seth and Dorothy were happy because she would study at a college in nearby Beaumont; they hoped to take care of her until she matured and became able to take care of herself. However, since the latest studies have shown that bipolar disorder starts at about 18, with temperamental signs displayed much earlier, Janis and her parents real nightmare was just about to begin.

48
49

Guse, op. cit., location 550. Joplin, op. cit., p. 85. 50 Guse, op. cit., location 445. 51 Quoted in Faris, op. cit., location 795.

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2.3 A fiery melancholiac

Without being as enthusiastic as her parents but longing for acceptance, seventeen-yearold Janis started studying art in nearby Beaumont. She dedicated herself to painting and the person she admired and looked up to most was an exquisitely gifted painter with an equally dark character Modigliani.52 Modigliani, like the rest of Janiss idols, was well known for his alcohol and hashish consumption. At about this time, Janis also discovered she could sing; her musician friends were shocked to find out she could sing exactly like the famous blues singer Odetta. 53 Besides painting, Janis pursued partying with equal passion. Just like her parents many years before, Janis started spending time in Houston folk coffeehouses and she drank so much that her friends often had to carry her home.54 How bad the situation got could easily be concluded by Janiss abrupt return to Port Arthur and her short stay in hospital thereafter. Dorothy claimed that Janis spent time in hospital due to a kidney infection while Janis informed her friends she had had a nervous breakdown.55 Who was telling the truth? Judging by the events that followed, it was Janis. As soon as she got better, Janis again started hanging around with her old musician friends. She also started listening to Bessie Smith, her all-time favorite,56 and went on going out, drinking and acting promiscuously. In order to separate her from the rest of her friends who, in Seth and Dorothys opinion, had been a cause of Janiss misbehavior, they decided to send her to Los Angeles where, at the time, the beatnik scene was flourishing. Janis was ecstatic. After spending a couple of weeks with her aunt and receiving her first paycheck, Janis moved to a cheap little flat which was so shabby and dirty that her aunt was shocked upon visiting.57 Janis was still into painting but she also started singing in a local bar. To improve their creativity, beatniks used various drugs, especially wine and marijuana, but there were those who were doing heroin too. Besides the drugs, unrestrained sex was something all beatniks enjoyed; it included sexual relationships with both men and women, with the emphasis on relationships between different racial groups. Janis finally felt free. One can only imagine what liberated Janis went through in Venice Beach, but after a couple of months, she went back to Port Arthur.58 To her friends and familys surprise, Janis looked, spoke, and behaved in a strikingly different way. On the New Years Eve, she had her first public performance in a bar in Beaumont and, though the audiences reaction was rather poor, she was not discouraged and she started singing in public on a regular basis. Her first recording ever appeared at the beginning of the following year. It was a commercial for a bank in
52 53

Joplin, op. cit., p. 92. Friedman, op. cit., location 836. 54 Joplin, op. cit., p. 94. 55 Friedman, op. cit., location 865. 56 Janis also greatly admired Otis Redding, Chuck Berry, Tina Turner, Little Richard, Bob Dylan, Billie Holiday etc., see Dalton, op. cit., locations 824, 833; Friedman, op. cit,. locations 1840, 1845. 57 Joplin, op. cit., p. 101.

15

Texas; the song This Bank Is Your Bank was composed by her good friends Jim Langdon and Terry Owens.59 For a very brief period of time, Janis seemed to have changed completely: she was very diligent in her studies at Lamar; she also worked as a waitress in a bowling alley; she dressed and behaved presentably; and she spent her free time having long conversations and drinking with her friend Jack Smith on a beach.60 However, stories about a lively Austin community soon reached Port Arthur and Janis had to go and see it for herself. She started partying again. During the summer, she enrolled in the Fine Arts program at the University of Texas and moved in a folk/beat apartment house known as the Ghetto where she sang in a small band called the Waller Creek Boys. They performed bluegrass, old country and folk songs, but Janis was not committed to any particular style yet. She had pretty much the same repertoire at Threadgills, although she would sing her favorite blues song from time to time. It is important to mention the fact that everybody who heard Janis in Austin at the time, claimed later that she had lost the sheer beauty of her vocal before she even started singing with Big Brother. Her friend John Clay insisted, Shes pretty well lost her voice by the time she was really famous. That really gets me! Janis Joplin was blowin Americas mind at half power!61 At about the same time, Janis ended a serious relationship and started with promiscuity again, this time openly expressing her homosexual tendencies. She was neither happy nor accepted at the University of Texas and, when she was nominated for The Ugliest Man on Campus, Janis was completely crushed and cried for days. She smoked and sold marijuana, drank excessively, and took huge doses of Seconal.62 Her girlfriend Julie told Myra Friedman that Janis was extremely depressed at times. However, her bad luck turned around and, in the winter of 1962, there was a new guy in town Chet Helms. Janis fell in love with him. Chet knew the San Francisco music scene and when he heard Janis singing, he convinced her to move to San Francisco.63 The beatnik scene was flourishing in San Francisco and Janis started singing in bars and pubs for some change and free beers, mostly Bessie Smith and Ma Raney songs. Unfortunately, this kind of freedom and independence would draw Janis deeper into depravity she started using large amounts of dope.64 There are some speculations that Janis had her first heroin experiences at this time but it has never been confirmed.65 Be that as it may, drugs and alcohol provided Janis with the sense of belonging she was desperately searching for but loneliness, melancholy, and the deep-seated feeling of abandonment remained at the very core of her being. There were other adverse events at this time of her life: she was beaten by a group of
58 59

Ibid., p. 102. Ibid., p. 103. 60 Friedman, op. cit., location 936. 61 Ibid., location 1120. 62 For more information on the drug, see Seconal+Oral.aspx?drugid=8585&drugname=Seconal+Oral, 20 December, 2012. 63 Friedman, op. cit., location 1120. 64 Dalton, op. cit., location 691. 65 Friedman, op. cit., location 1269.

http://www.webmd.com/drugs/drug-8585-

16

addicts, had a motorcycle accident, was arrested for shoplifting, and her relationships with both men and women followed the same chaotic pattern.66 When she was 21, she went to New York where she worked as an operator and lived in a hotel full of musicians and addicts. She sang in bars, read Hesse and Nietzsche, played pool, and went on exploring her sexuality. She wrote a letter to her father complaining about life, saying that nothing was the way it should be. She wanted her father to tell her, Is this all theres gonna be?67 After a couple of months in New York, she went back to San Francisco where she started selling speed. In May, she tried to convince the doctors in San Francisco general hospital that she was going mad and should therefore stay in hospital. They did not believe her. Weighing only eighty-eight pounds and being unable to function on a rational level, Janis returned to Port Arthur in June.68 She started studying Sociology at Lamar and lived, one more time, a completely quiet and peaceful life, avoiding even alcohol and waiting for her fiance (a speed addict who already had a girlfriend in San Francisco) to come to Port Arthur to propose her. She sang in a club in Austin and regularly visited a psychiatrist in Beaumont. The psychiatrist tried to teach her to accept both herself and her creative powers she said she could not live without. She told him that she was burning for a singing career but, being so sensitive and anxious, she was not able to separate it from using drugs and alcohol. During this time, she wrote a song about having no desire to live but not being able to die either, desperately trying to find the Middle Road. She started taking one of the first anxiolytics Librium.69 Calm on the surface but without a center to hold, Janis spent the early days of 1966 happy and fulfilled only while she was singing and her performances started attracting more people and even more recognition.70 Having been persuaded by a new lover, she went to San Francisco to be the lead singer of a new and promising band Big Brother. 71 The band members remember the first time Janis came: she looked rather confused, she was not striking physically, but when she started to sing, they were blown away by her original sound and charisma. 72 Speaking of her voice, legendary Serbian guitarist Radomir Mihailovi-Toak thinks that Janiss voice was not technically perfect and fully developed, which may have been the reason she intentionally covered it up with different effects; in spite of that, her voice definitely was, in his expert opinion, authentic and there were moments when she would sing different notes at the same time, maintaining her unique vibrato and specific phrasing style.73 Being aware of her advantages and remaining faithful to her idols, Janis had already chosen blues rock genre which,
66 67

Ibid., chapter 7. Ibid., location 1349. 68 Friedman, op. cit. , location 1441. 69 Joplin, op. cit., p.177. 70 Friedman, op. cit., locations 1584, 1585. 71 Ibid., location 1639. 72 Nine Hundred Nights 73 According to R. Mihailovic (personal communication, 21 January, 2013).

17

in her opinion, lacked good singers. One of the first and Janiss favorite covers was an old gospel song, Down on Me with somewhat changed lyrics and arrangement. Looking at Janis during her first rehearsals with Big Brother, it becomes apparent how talented she was and how powerful her three-octave vocal range was; she looked like a natural-born performer absorbed by the music. Janis and the band started having more regular and more serious performances; their first album with cover songs was released in 1967. Even at the time, Janis considered herself inseparable from her art blues definitely was her way of living and all the songs she chose to sing undoubtedly point to that. Besides being a gifted singer with a voice never again matched, Janis was an outstanding performer. According to David Dalton, the feelings Jimi Hendrix expressed with his guitar, Janis successfully communicated with her voice. The famous BB King said that Janis Joplin sings the blues as hard as any black person.74 As a person who had been feeling mental and physical rejection all her life, Janis finally felt her charisma and sexuality accepted on stage, and she was rewarded by her audience for singing her heart and soul out. And then there was her legendary performance at the Monterey Pop Festival. Janis managed to give a breathtaking performance with a mediocre band behind her.75 People stood and listened to Janis with their mouths open while Bob Dylans manager Albert Grossman was totally overwhelmed by Janis and her talent. Grossman decided to sign Janis and her band, and Janis started becoming a huge international superstar. Between the rehearsals, recordings, and performances, Janiss life did not, as one may expect, become less lonely and detached. Quite the contrary, it seemed to her that it became even worse. She still did not go back to taking hard drugs but her first and most important drug of choice, alcohol, was always there to make her life more bearable. At the time, she had two more years to live, but in a letter to her family she expressed surprise even at living to see 25.

74 75

Quoted in Dalton, op. cit., location 207. For more on Janis and Big Brother, see http://www.allmusic.com/album/cheap-thrills-mw0000194385, 19 January, 2013.

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2.4 Get it while you are lonely

Nobody knows exactly when Janis got back on heroin and almost all her biographers have speculated about it. Despite the fact Janis was primarily an alcoholic, everybody looked for the moment when she started using heroin again because it was the drug that had led to her untimely death. There was some information that she used it while she was recording Cheap Thrills, which sold over a million copies in the first month, but Myra Friedman came up with somewhat different and not so surprising facts: Janis had probably started before that because, when she got back from Port Arthur after Christmas, she found out that she was pregnant with the man whod gotten her back on smack.76 Although she really wanted to have a child, she had an abortion shortly after turning 25. The abortion caused an extreme emotional trauma which Janis tried to alleviate, at least partially, by diving deeper into the cold, dark, and delusive vortex of fame that dragged her down to the very bottom of the loneliness she had been trying to escape. During 1968, huge media attention came down on Janis and Big Brother; their albums sold successfully, and they started getting more and more requests for live performances, even though many critics did not approve of the bands music quality.77 Janis had started speaking to the whole world about her loneliness provoked by her mental disorder since their first album and, although she did not write any of the songs on the first album, she had carefully picked the ones that suit her emotions and personality; she honestly put her heart and soul in All Is Loneliness, Women Is Losers, Bye, Bye, Baby, etc. Janis herself wrote Turtle Blues and co-wrote I Need a Man to Love as well as Oh, Sweet Mary on Cheap Thrills. Her feelings of worthlessness and maybe even guilt or shame can be found in her autobiographical song Turtle Blues in which Janis almost mocked to her mean and evil ways, probably alluding to her manic phases; but beneath being mean and evil: I guess Im just like a turtle Thats hidin underneath its horny shell. But you know Im very well protected I know this goddamn life too well. In the famous and unmatched cover of Piece of My Heart, Joplin used blues conventions not to transcend pain, but to scream it out of existence.78 Despite the fact that Janis considered Big Brother her family, her discontent grew each day. She thought it was time to move on, to start recording new songs, but the band did not have the same aspirations they seemed perfectly happy with the way things were. Being so talented
76 77

Friedman, op. cit., location 2163. Ruhlmann., Cheap Thrills Review, see http://www.allmusic.com/album/cheap-thrills-mw0000194385, 18 January, 2013. 78 For more on both the original and the cover of Piece of My Heart, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piece_of_My_Heart#Big_Brother_and_the_Holding_Company_version:_1968, 21 January, 2013.

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but at the same time hard-working and self-disciplined when it came to recording, Janis started thinking about leaving Big Brother and, although it was one of the most difficult decisions she had to make, she started performing with a professional new band called the Kozmic Blues at the end of the same year. Janis wrote two songs for the album she recorded with the Kozmic Blues Band and, one more time, she spoke about her unfulfilled need for love, her inability to find the right man, claiming that she did not want much from life, just One Good Man it aint much, its only everything. Kozmic Blues, according to Janis, means that no m atter what you do, man, you always get shot down anyway.79 With the conviction entrenched in her mind, Janis went on fascinating her audience with her voice and performances; the experiences she had during the year were quite tempestuous. By that time, she had already formed an image of a self-confident and dangerous girl from Texas who never got sober and did literally whatever she pleased and people, especially the young, loved it. She represented the liberated spirit of the 1960s. During the recording of the album I Got Dem Ol Kozmic Blues Again Mama!, Janis was using dope, barbiturates, and alcohol, and there were times in the studio when she could barely talk, let alone sing a proper tune.80 Many people did not know that Janiss dark and lonely inner world grew in accordance with the attention she got. Having a very low opinion of herself, she laughed out loud when she was characterized as a superstar, and claimed that the only reason for being in the music business was to express her painful feelings; she was convinced that by liberating herself, she could also help her audience feel free and that was, in her opinion, one of the most important goals of every accomplished and serious singer.81 Only her love of music could compensate for the loneliness and the suffering that fame brought, she said. Her live performances had already become a myth: she sang like she was possessed, her whole being completely absorbed by the music, and stage was the only place where she felt loved and accepted for who she was. However, those feelings would vanish as soon as she left the stage. After performing, she would always have to go back to her long-ago formed addicted self which imposed the same agonizing thoughts and fears about her physical appearance, about getting old, losing her voice, the need To Love Somebody, her lack of One Good Man and, thus being plunged in Kozmic Blues, Janis nearly overdosed on heroin for the fourth or fifth time two months prior to her European tour in 1969. Her best friend Linda was beside herself. In December, Janis tried to fight her addictions by visiting a psychiatrist and taking a form of methadone, but soon her old demons took over again.82 In January 1970, she stopped working with the Kozmic Blues Band and her last band, Full Tilt Boogie, was formed in April. The band inspired the same feelings she had while she was with Big Brother the feelings of belonging and appreciation. At the time of her chaotic relationships and loneliness, Janis remained honest to herself and her audience by recording the
79

For more of Janiss vivid descriptions of life, see Dalton, especially the chapter The great Saturday night swindle. Friedman, op. cit., location 3448, 3462. 81 See the interview with Janis at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH5SCpbk-gk, 20 December, 2012. 82 Friedman, op. cit., location 3830.
80

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famous song One Night Stand, telling the world how she really felt when she was feeling low and everybody looked the same. Due to her constant flirts with death, Janiss best friend Linda Gravenites decided to move out and another girl moved in with Janis. Some of her friends remember her constant fluctuations in mood from severe depressions to euphoria. Janis spent a couple of months hanging around and drinking day and night with Kris Kristofferson, a well-known songwriter and singer, who wrote one of her biggest hits Me and Bobby McGee. She tried to fight her emptiness and loneliness by hosting both friends and strangers in her new house, giving them free food and drink, but complaining afterwards that nobody really cared about her they were after her money and name now. It appeared as if Janis was always searching for evidence that, in her opinion, nobody really loved her. Her drinking became so excessive that Janis complained about her memory loss she said she could not remember almost anything from the previous day. Daily routine included drinking in the morning, passing out in the afternoon, recovering until the concert, and drinking afterwards again.83 The drinking started affecting both her voice and her performances; one morning she called Myra Friedman and hysterically claimed she could not sleep because she was afraid everyone would find out she could not sing any more. Her bouts of depression became longer and less bearable. People would often see her drunk in bars with a lost look in her eyes and a pale face. In June, she said to a friend, Ill never see thirty.84 During the summer, she started recording the most famous album Pearl with a well-known producer Paul Rothchild. Her voice was filled with affliction and torment, drugs and alcohol, but her last studio performances were magnificent.85 All of the nine songs on the album were chosen by Janis and this time she cowrote some of her famous songs such as Mercedes Benz, while Move over was entirely written by Janis. She also played the guitar on Me and Bobby McGee. Like many times before, Janis chose to sing songs that mirrored her state of mind: A Woman Left Lonely, Get It While You Can, Buried Alive in the Blues, etc. According to those who spent time with her, Janis seemed happy only while recording and playing gigs with the bend she loved so much. On more than one occasion, Janis mentioned suicide and getting back on heroin.86 When she appeared on the Dick Cavett Show for the last time, Janis looked somewhat different.87 Besides the famous clothes, the purpose of which was to promote Pearl and hide the real Janis, she had evidently put on some weight, she looked restless and anxious, and her eyes sparkled. There was something else behind her notorious laughter she maintained during the show. It looked like a huge disappointment. She triumphantly announced her return to Port Arthur for the school reunion. There are some people who think that her last visit to her
83 84

Ibid., location 6309. Ibid., location 4923. 85 For more on Pearl, see http://www.rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/pearl-19710218, 19 January, 2013. 86 Friedman, op. cit., locations 4718, 5331, 5379. 87 See Janiss whole interview with Dick Cavett at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlqAsesmLQ0, 10 January, 2013.

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hometown in a way contributed to her possible unconscious decision to commit suicide because she was again rejected at her High School reunion.88 As autumn approached, Janis seriously thought about slowing her career down and settling down with a new and not so serious boyfriend.89 Her concert activities decreased because of low ticket sales and she went from the first to the third place in the Melody Maker chart. Pressure was building up and Janis hated reality. More than that, she hated boredom and loneliness.90 With all the troubles on her mind, Janis returned to her hotel room in Los Angeles after a recording session and, after having a fight with her boyfriend over the phone, she gave a call to her dealer who brought her an exceptionally pure dose of heroin. On the day Janis was supposed to lay down the vocals for Buried Alive in the Blues, she was found dead in her hotel room.91 Since Janis openly spoke about her future marriage prior to her death, the claims that she committed suicide are probably not sustainable.92 On the other hand, Janis did mention getting back on heroin on a few occasions which, coupled with all of her previous flirtations with death, may trigger speculations about her unconscious wish to die. Be that as it may, this tortured and exquisite woman left four albums, Pearl being her biggest selling album, that will always prove and confirm both her unparalleled talent and her complex and, above all, sad personality. Thirty years later, another girl with a tremendous talent, both lyrically and vocally, took the same tragic road. While parts of Janiss life still remain a mystery, it seems that every minute of Amy Winehouses life has been recorded and made public, especially the moments of her sad downfall.

88 89

Guse, op. cit. location 534. Friedman, op. cit. location 6218. 90 Dalton. op. cit., location 1151. 91 Janis Joplin, Wikipedia. 92 Friedman, op. cit. location 6211.

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Chaper 3. I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY Amy Winehouse

3.1 Naughty and stubborn
I was a very good baby, I wasnt a cry-baby, said Amy in an interview in 2006.93 As much as Amys parents did not agree with her later actions and statements, they would presumably agree with this one; nevertheless, it has rarely been mentioned that Amy was in a way a problem even before she came into this world. Her quiet and reserved mother, Janis Winehouse, was a pharmacist who suffered from an unknown condition that often caused strange prickling sensations up and down her limbs. A strange exhaustion and tingling continued not only during her pregnancy but also for many years after Amy was born in September 1983. At first Janis thought the problems were the result of her pregnancy and, after she had given birth to Amy, the result of the difficulties that motherhood brought. Unfortunately, it turned out later that Janis was suffering from multiple sclerosis; consequently, Amy had to grow up watching a very close family member tortured by the terrible disease.94 Amy Winehouse was born in a Jewish family in Southgate, North London, in an area largely inhabited by Jews. However, Amy did not like going to the local synagogue even when she was little and, when she grew up, she said that she was absolutely non-religious but that she believed in fate and in karmic forces.95 Amys parents, Mitchell and Janis, could hardly affirm that raising Amy was a real pleasure because she started misbehaving as soon as she began to walk: she nearly choked with some cellophane when she was just a toddler, one day she got lost in a park, and with a few friends as naughty as she was, Amy would sometimes eat all the food from other childrens lunchboxes. Her father later claimed that Amys obstreperousness was no coincidence she was always desperate for attention and care. Janis once stated that Amy, being always busy, curious, and as stubborn as a mule, was far from an easy-going and obedient child.96 Besides Janiss illness, Mitchs frequent absences were another thing little Amy had to cope with, claiming much later that her father would cuddle her whenever he was around. Despite the fact that Mitch spent a lot of time away from home, their house was often filled with music: Mitch was a good singer and a huge Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennetts fan, while Janiss family was full of jazz musicians and she loved Carol King. Besides Sinatra and Carol King, Amys early music influences include: Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan and, from the age of 14, Thelonious Monk, Count Basie, Dinah Washington, Erykah Badu, and the girl groups from the 1960s.97 Owing to her genes and to her beloved grandmother Cynthia, Amy started singing both
93 94

For the whole interview, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4nUWdt9eUs, 10 January, 2013. Morris, Open Book: The Life and Death of Amy Winehouse, location 81. 95 See http://www.thejc.com/news/uk-news/52348/amy-winehouse-to-others-she-was-known-mummy, 20 January, 2013. 96 See http://www.celebitchy.com/8006/an_open_letter_to_amy_winehouse/, 20 January, 2013. 97 Newkey. Amy Winehouse The Biography, location 112.

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contemporary pop songs and jazz classics at an early age; when she started going to school, she sang even during the lessons, irritating her teachers who complained to her parents. Amy just thought everyone sang when they wanted to express their emotions. She loved watching her older brother standing on a chair, singing Sinatras songs because she was suffering from stage fright even when she was little, but that did not prevent her from singing as loud as she could.98 Motivated by her brother, Amy started teaching herself guitar at 13.99 Due to Mitchs love affair, he and Janis decided to get divorced when Amy was only 10. Mitch was a taxi driver for almost all his life and, when Amy became famous, it seemed that he was more comfortable with being in front of cameras than Amy ever did. He also admitted in an interview that he had experimented with mind-altering substances in his youth, adding that he would have gone under at his darkest point without his family101. It will remain unknown whether Mitch was telling the truth when he said he had cheated on Amys mother only once; be that as it may, Amy once said that she did not know what her father was running away from because he moved house every two years.102 She also said that writing songs had helped her realize why Dad cheated, adding that hes not a big bastard. 103 Her mother Janis was convinced that the rage in Amys songs came from the lack of father figure in her childhood, but the influence of their divorce as well as Mitchs love affairs should be taken into account too. In Janiss opinion, Mitch spent a great deal of time with Amy when she became popular just because he wanted to compensate for his absence. And Amys possible daddy issues could be well observed by learning about her subsequent selection of partners and notably unstable relationships.
100

It has been proved many times so far that divorces can be devastating for children, and Amy later claimed that it was her brother who suffered the most, while she saw the divorce as an opportunity to have fun, swear at her mother, wear makeup, and do literally whatever she pleased. It is possible that the divorce turned Amys whole world upside down and that she recognized her own need to adapt to an independent lifestyle due to the separation. One of Amys childhood friends confirmed that she began behaving badly as soon as her father left; he also claimed that Amy had a horrible experience with her first boyfriend when she was only 15, which urged Janis to put Amy on the pill.104 There is a strong probability that Amy became very confused when she was still a little girl because perhaps she did not perceive Mitch and Janis as real role models: Mitch was rarely at home, whereas her ill, reserved and quiet mother could not
98 99

Newkey, op. cit. location 106. Winehouse, Amy, My Daughter, p. 8. 100 For more on Amys life from her fathers point of view, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rR5Coo30UbM&feature=related 101 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILeND5DO3UM, 19 January, 2013. 102 Ibid., location 176. 103 For more on Amys relationship with her father, see http://www.nypost.com/p/news/international/amy_ode_to_beloved_daddy_vX5PqX1I10bFjtC1cKXSlO, 19 January, 2013.
104

Newkey, op. cit. location 184.

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have been the guiding line and the authority strong-willed Amy needed. In addition, Amy probably got all the attention through misbehavior, which later only reinforced her impulsive and unpredictable behavior. Amys takecaring needs were often met by her grandmother Cynthia, with whom she spent a lot of her childhood days. This period of her early life could have resulted in the lyrics on her first album: It's bricked up in my head, it's shoved under my bed, And I question myself again: what is it 'bout men? My destructive side has grown a mile wide, And I question myself again: what is it 'bout men? I'm nurturing, I just wanna do my thing And I'll take the wrong man as naturally as I sing; And I'll save my tears for uncovering my fears For behavioural patterns that stick over the years. The consequences of the divorce and Janiss inability to exert control over Amy started to affect Amys behavior and grades in the elementary school. Due to her misbehavior, Amy would often be sent to the school reception desk; the inappropriate behavior resulted primarily from boredom and the school system she did not like. As she put it, I didnt like being told what to do.105 Amy considered herself an outsider during her school days, but after watching her interviews and reading her biographies, one cannot come to the conclusion that she suffered greatly because of school, her teachers, or her classmates. Some of her peers remember that, although they were not in the same class, Amy was always recognized as a wild girl.106 Amy started attending stage schools at an early age. With a great help and support from her grandmother Cynthia, Amy attended the Susi Earnshaw Theater School for a few years. She took part in the schools plays, listened to Madonna, Kylie Minogue, and En Vogue; when she was only ten, she and her best friend Juliette formed their own band called Sweet n Sour. It was the result of Amys obsession with one of her first true idols, Salt-n-Pepa, whose members Amy considered real musicians and artists; in Amys opinion, they were women who honestly spoke their minds. The first song of Sweet n Sour was called Spindarella and, although Amys first band did not last for very long, it had a huge impact on Amys future ambitions and goals. Until then, Amys ambition was to become a roller-skating waitress, but her first taste of being a singer/songwriter made her change her mind: she started seriously working on becoming a successful artist, probably never even imagining how much she would stretch.107
105 106

Ibid., location 160. Morris, op. cit., location 155. 107 Ibid., location 134.

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3.2 On the way to stretch her limitsand beyond

With the signs of instability displayed early on, but also bearing in mind Amys family circumstances, it is not so difficult to assume what happened as soon as Amy reached puberty: her behavior got worse and it seemed nobody knew what to do with her. Anyway, Amy also started exhibiting an enormous talent and equally amazing self-directedness. When she was only 12, she managed to obtain the scholarship for one of the most prestigious Britain stage schools, Sylvia Young Theater School, which had also been attended by some of the well-known contemporary pop stars such as Emma Bunton from Spice Girls. Amy was auditioned by Sylvia Young who later said, She did this audition, and she sang, and really blew us away, () and I thought weve got the new Judy Garland here. She was so melodic, her voice was so good on the ear, and she was only 12, 5 at the time. And I just thought she was totally amazing! And she was quite modest, almost shy little girl.108 Sylvia Young, though, could not even imagine that her comparison of Amy to Judy Garland would later turn out to be almost entirely appropriate not only because of Amys talents but because of her addictions and bipolar disorder as well. In her scholarship application essay, Amy wrote that she wanted to go somewhere where she was stretched to her limits and perhaps even beyond that; she wanted to sing in lessons without being told to shut up and, most importantly, she had the dream of being famous, singing on stage, and making people forget about their troubles when they heard her voice. 109 Amys early ambition and dedication could be observed as soon as she started attending the Sylvia Young School. However, it turned out that Amy was calm only while she was singing, otherwise she was quite difficult to handle: the misdemeanors included not concentrating during the class and being disruptive, chewing gum, piercing her nose, etc.110 Amy had managed to stay at Sylvia Youngs about a year and a half, but then one day the principal called her mother, and asked her to take her to some other school. Amy simply wanted to sing, she did not care about good grades, and the principal was not willing to have a student who would not study and would only mess around. Janis found Amy a place at an independent girls school in Hill Mill; Amy later admitted that she was devastated for having to leave Sylvia Youngs, she cried every night because the school was the best. 111 According to Adlerian psychology, the deeper the feeling of inferiority, the greater the need to conquer;112 consequently, Amys feelings of inferiority might have started when she was, in a way, expelled from her first school and, after having to leave all the schools she later attended, her feeling of self-esteem
108 109

See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwbo3vNhAUk&feature=related, 18 January, 2013. For more of Amys early ambitions, see amy-winehouse-244469/videos/amy-winehouse-goals-2174376382, 18 January, 2013. 110 Newkey, op. cit., location 220. 111 Morris, op. cit., location 155. 112 Quoted in Guse, op. cit., location 321.

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gradually declined. Amy later stated in an interview, When I left Sylvia Young, I hated school so much that I didnt want to go at all. That was horrid.113 At about this time, Amy started developing the habit of using marijuana but she also found great comfort in music, and she got herself the first tattoo of Betty Boop on her back. She had her first serious relationship with the singer Tyler James who helped her put together a demo tape and sent it off to several companies. Amy always considered herself a sexual person and, even at such a young age, she and Tyler had a very open relationship they would live together but see other people too. Amy chose to move to Camden Town, famous for a large number of artists, alcohol and drug consumption, when she was about 15. She worked as a reporter for a while and started playing gigs in the local pubs sometime later. Her first boss, Joe Mott, revealed later that Amy knew, to his surprise, a lot about sex and relationships even though she was 16 or 17; he said she could be quite obsessive when she liked someone and that she was also a deep thinker.114 Besides singing and working as a reporter, Amy attended the BRIT School for a while. One of her teachers remembered Amy as exciting but nerve-racking and as someone who was a true artist from the age of 16 and, therefore, wasnt suited to being institutionalized.115 However, the woman Amy respected a lot, Sylvia Young, did not want to give up on Amy so easily. She called William Ashton, the leader of the National Youth Jazz Orchestra, and asked him if he could do something with Amy since she and her school seemed to have tried everything; she hoped to help Amy get on stage and start with real live performances. William Ashton remembered Amy during the first rehearsal: she sat in the corner, smoked aggressively, was very nervous, but when she started singing with the orchestra whatever they were playing she nailed it in one.116 Just like many people before him, William considered Amy an amazing singer with an outstanding natural talent and a wild temperament; on account of her temperament, working with her turned out to be rather difficult so, in order to get rid of her, William decided to call some people from the music industry who were immediately interested. Ashton said he thought she was right for them. The man who got interested in Amy was Simon Fuller, one of the most important people of the music industry and the man who founded Pop Idol. Due to Amys age, Simon turned to her mother with a proposal to sign Amy and, although Janis wanted her daughter to finish school, she acted on Amys wishes. Fuller signed her but kept her as a secret while she was being developed by the management company. Amy later claimed that Simon Fuller was a mad man and, more than once, said she would never take part in shows like Pop Idol because she was convinced that musicality is not something other people should judge you on. Musics a thing you have with
113 114

Newkey, op. cit., location 258. For the whole documentary, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwbo3vNhAUk&feature=related 115 Newkey, op. cit., location 319. 116 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwbo3vNhAUk&feature=related, 18 January, 2013.

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yourself.117 While Fullers company 19 Management was working on Amys image, Island/Universal representative Darcus Beese heard one of Amys songs by accident; he finally found her after several months of searching. Looking fairly modest and rather shy, Amy had her first rehearsal in the Island records office, and she amazed everybody with her voice and very distinctive phrasing.118 Although Amy had already signed a publishing deal with EMI, and Virgin was also interested, she signed her first recording contract with Island. Amy had already recorded some of her songs with the producer Salaam Remi but her first major label success and the release of her first album Frank came in October, 2003.119

117 118

Newkey, op. cit., location 366. See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scOAUt3Q0M8, 10 January, 2013. 119 Newkey, op. cit., location 414.

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3.3 She honestly meant all of it

Just like her idol Frank Sinatra, Amy was recognized as being a little shifty and difficult to work with from the beginning of her career and, like most manic-depressive artists, she knew exactly what she wanted when it came to her songs.120 Regarding her obstinateness as part of her powerful artistic personality, both her manager and her agent allegedly accepted Amy for who she was.121 Some reporters called her mouthy and unapologetic at the time.122 Amy showed no interest in making money and popular music trends, although she always emphasized she was a huge fan of hip-hop. Her management teams enthusiasm about her first album Frank was not equally and fully shared by Amy herself. Both Frank and Amys next album Back to Black were the result of her difficult breakups, Frank being named after Frank Sinatra, who also suffered from bipolar disorder.123 Starting with a smoky song Stronger Than Me, which revealed Amys mature and bluesy voice with already formed expressive phrasing typical of American soul singing,124 it was clear that she spoke the language of jazz. Like the majority of youngsters, Amy was primarily interested in relationships between two people and, considering the fact that all her songs were autobiographical and always honestly written, it was clear from the first album that she needed to experience pain in order to create.125 Although Amys idols were mainly from the 1950s and 1960s, a significant part of her lyrics definitely belonged to the 21st century. As Amy explained it herself, the song What It Is About Men is about me trying to work out my dads problems with sticking with one woman, trying to make sense of why he did certain things. 126 Besides the autobiographical songs, the album also contains two covers of famous classics There Is No Greater Love and Moodys Mood for Love which, like many other Amys songs, received positive reviews from some reputable jazz musicians and singers such as Geno Washington, Barb Junger, and Chris Ingham.127 Most of the critics welcomed her first album, emphasizing the sincerity of her lyrics as well as her vocal abilities.128 She was often described as brutally honest, not only in her songs but also in her interviews and in everyday conversations, which could have pointed to both her impulsive side and her obstreperousness. It was clear that she was an artist with a lot of attitude and was not afraid to show it. Like Amys personality, the album was full of contradictions: she criticized her lover for being unfaithful, but did the same thing when he was faithful; she complained about not being able to find the right man, but felt deeply saddened by the fact that she often found the wrong one.

120 121

Ibid., location 387. Morris, op. cit., location 231. 122 Ibid., location 935. 123 Ibid., location 294. 124 According to R. Mihailovic (personal communication, 21 January, 2013). 125 Newkey, op cit., location 1755.. 126 Ibid., location 522. 127 For more comments on both of Amy's albums, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyTbsO9pSWw, 10 January, 2013. 128 For more detailed insight in Amy's vocal abilities, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyTbsO9pSWw, 10 January, 2013.

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Although Frank was a critical success for Amy and brought her nominations for the BRIT Awards and Mercury Prize in 2004,129 she was not completely satisfied with the album because her recording company included some mixes and tracks she did not like; in addition, when it came to the album promotion, she found it inappropriate and difficult to deal with.130 But even before the album came out, she had been heavily using marijuana and alcohol, spending her free time playing pool, having Jack Daniels and Coke for breakfast. 131 Nevertheless, Amy looked composed and healthy during her performances in 2004 and 2005; her TV appearances were also favorable and, compared to other polished young pop stars, Amy looked original and honest. She could be and was described as a person with charisma, but she was hardly ever a truly great performer and entertainer, compared to Little Richard, Patti Smith, Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, David Bowie, Tina Turner, Ottis Redding, etc. With her charismatic but rather nervous stage presence, she was recognized as someone who had had problems with stage fright and, when later her supposedly non-treated bipolar disorder and substance abuse took over, the initial stage fright exploded.132 The Guardian reporter said that, she bares more than a passing resemblance to a rabbit caught in the headlights she never quite loses the slightly traumatized expression.133 The year of 2004 was crucial for Amys future in some other aspects too: she met a man who would have a profound influence on her life and make her write an album that would become the UKs second best-selling album of the 21st century and one of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time according to the Rolling Stone.134 Blake Fielder-Civil moved to London when he was 16 and was also a child from a divorced marriage. He started using drugs at an early age and he met Amy in a pub in Camden. Despite already being in a relationship, he and Amy started their devastating love affair. Some reporters compared them to Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen,135 often referring to their relationship as a modern-day soap opera, but it was a real soap opera, with real people, real devastating addictions, and a dead star in the end. Amy later said that it was a love at first sight and that she had always loved tattooed men with a great sense of humor.136 Soon enough, Amy had Blakes name tattooed on her chest and Blake tattooed her name behind his ear. Like all other Amys relationships, this one was also filled with great passion and love; in spite of that, it looked like it was finished after a year and a half. According to a reporter, when she broke up with Blake, she literally spent days crying on the kitchen floor, which was described in her hit song Tears Dry on Their Own.137

129 130

Morris, op. cit., location 358, 372. Ibid., location 379. 131 Ibid., location 422. 132 For more on Amy's problems with stage fright, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyTbsO9pSWw, 15 January, 2013. 133 Newkey, op. cit., location 1161. 134 Amy Winehouse, Wikipedia. 135 For more on the tragic relationship, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sid_Vicious, 15 January, 2013. 136 Morris, op. cit., location 454. 137 For more information on Amys breakup, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwbo3vNhAUk&feature=related, 10 January, 2013.

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Psychologysts claim that a persons self-worth can be determined by observing their partners and relationships, and judging by Amys partners (primarily Blake), she did suffer from low self-esteem. Having embarked on a journey to self-destructiveness with him, Amy at first increased her already considerable alcohol intake, allegedly adding heavy drugs sometime later.138 Therefore, it can be concluded that even before Back to Black was released, Amy had probably suffered from addiction which, in her own words, was part of her manic-depressive personality.139 Her father Mitch advised Amy in 2006 to give rehab a try, which she took quite literally her first visit lasted only about 15 minutes.140 During the visit she was allegedly told that she was not an alcoholic, she was just depressed.141 Despite the fact that Mitch did not think Amy had a real problem with addiction, her management team insisted that she should address her problems; so that was what Amy did, but only in a song: she wrote the famous Rehab and explained how they (her management team) tried to make her go to rehab and her daddy thought she was fine.142 Rehab showed that both Amy and her father were probably not aware how serious her condition was, while the people she worked with recognized it. Besides the fact that Back to Black was an album Amy was really proud of, it also brought her a lot of rewards and breakthrough to American market, thus making it more accessible for other British pop stars such as Adele and Florence and the Machine. Amy was so proud of her contributions to contemporary music that she said she did not care if she died the next day.143 She wrote 7 out of the 11 songs on the album, the remaining four being co-written by Mark Ronson who also produced the album together with Salaam Remi.144 Every song has a catchy tune and something that Amy always loved a great hook line.145 Lyrically, it is marked by Amys confessions about her loneliness and alcohol abuse, her infidelities and her love affairs, as well as her drug use and abandonment. Tortured by terrible bipolar depression which, in the authors opinion, was far more difficult than at the time of Frank, Amy wrote songs that echo with something much darker and sinister than the pain caused by a breakup. She exposed her own feelings of worthlessness in You Know Im No Good and wished she could sing no regrets and no emotional debts in Tears Dry on Their Own. Ballads Back to Black and Love Is a Losing Game were recognized as instant classics, the latter sounding like it was written by someone who felt too old and tortured at 24:146

138

For more on Amys drug and alcohol use during the period, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwbo3vNhAUk&feature=related, 10 January, 2013. 139 See the whole interview at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIBjqQSYA7o, 10 january, 2013. 140 Morris, op. cit., location 496. 141 Ibid., location 570. 142 Ibid., location 496. 143 See the full statement at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt0FfEqVrUM, 15 January, 2013. 144 Amy Winehouse, Wikipedia. 145 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyTbsO9pSWw
146

For more insightful comments on Amys album Back to Black, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyTbsO9pSWw, 15 January, 2013.

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Though Im rather blind, Love is a fate resigned; Memories mar my mind, Love is a fate resigned. Over futile odds, And laughed at by the gods, And now the final frame, Love is a losing game. The album was highly awarded in 2007, but Amys troubles became publicly evident in 2006. She appeared on the Charlotte Church Show completely drunk, looking lost, and singing out of tune.147 The Mirror called her Amy Wino and the Daily Telegraph added that she was outrageous.148 Worldwide recognition and fame brought Amy not only a huge amount of cash but also the media attention she honestly did not know what to do with. As controversial as Amy was, she wanted the attention, but at the same time wanted to run away from it as far as possible; there were interviews she did in a polite and friendly way, but then there were times when she would chew gum and roll her eyes;149 she wanted to get married and have children, but she also wanted the life of a star;150 she wanted to break her addictions and be with the man she loved, but it seemed impossible; and she wanted to perform and loved singing live, but oftentimes looked as if she could not carry on any more.

147 148

See the performance at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FnVpBn3ZRc, 15 January, 2013. Newkey, op. cit., location 1014. 149 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VPc0PLiRNI, 15 January, 2013. 150 Morris, op. cit., location 613.

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3.4 A losing battle

The more insecure I feel about my looks, the bigger the hair, said Amy once.151 Her hair started growing in 2006 when she almost instantaneously and completely changed her image from a nice, rather shy, slightly chubby jazz artist to a tattooed, anorexic diva with a strange beehive and heavy makeup.152 The change of the image happened when she was going through some other important things such as: the successful album, breakup with a part of her old management team and her boyfriend Blake, the death of her beloved grandmother, and her dramatically increased use of alcohol and drugs due to all of the above. Although a large number of pop stars from the 1960s and 1970s went through far worse things than Amy, their darkest moments were never caught on camera; unfortunately, in the era of technological boom in which a large number of people become world-famous for 15 minutes,153 a lot of Amys excesses were recorded and uploaded to YouTube for the whole world to watch. Considering the nature of the manic-depressive illness and an eating disorder Amy had, there were always plenty of sensations for the media.154 In 2006 she broke up with Blake but could never really break away. She maintained her chaotic relationship pattern and started dating singer/songwriter Alex Claire but, after a couple of breakups, they ended their relationship after a year. Alex sold his sensational story about the relationship with Amy to the News of the World, revealing some very intimate details, claiming that she was scared to be happy.155 In spite of the unfortunate events in 2006, Amy managed to give concerts and a number of her TV performances were favorable; during the TV show Never Mind the Buzzcocks Amy was evidently a bit tipsy and, to her parents shock and disapproval, she revealed that she had befriended the infamous Pete Doherty, an artist, drug addict, and drug dealer.156 At the beginning of 2007, she was booked to perform at Gay in London and, after singing the opening song, Amy started vomiting and did not go back onto the stage. Some famous musicians expressed their worries about Amys bad influence on kids, stating she was a bad role model, (), and scared of living.157 Unfortunately, Amy started seeing Blake again and they got married in Miami by a clerk with no witnesses in summer 2007.158 Scared Janis said that they were probably so drugged that they did not know that they were doing, 159 while Amy told the press she was absolutely happy for marrying the man of her life, admitting she could sometimes be violent towards him when she got drunk.160 Oddly enough, her father Mitch said
Quoted in Amy Winehouse The Girl Done Good, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyTbsO9pSWw, 20 December, 2012. 152 For other comments on Amy's image change, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyTbsO9pSWw, 20 December, 2012. 153 Andy Warhol predicted in 1968 that in the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/15_minutes_of_fame, 15 January, 2013. 154 Morris, op. cit., location 824. 155 Newkey, op. cit., location 1197, 1222. 156 Pete Doherty, Wikipedia. 157 Newkey, op. cit., location 1550. 158 Morris, op. cit., location 667. 159 Ibid., location 824. 160 Ibid., location 698.
151

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that he had not even been aware that Amy had serious problems until after she married Blake in 2007; she never used drugs or even drank in front of him.161 Amy managed to maintain a level of sobriety during a few festival appearances but, as 2008 was approaching, the stories about her stopped dealing with her music and her talent and, even when they did, her songs were usually mentioned in the context of her personal problems. She was nominated for MTV Video Music Awards but, at the same time, it was apparent she had serious health issues.162 She overdosed on a number of substances for the first time and, being absolutely terrified, she entered a rehab.163 Eerie photos of her and Blake covered with blood and bruises flooded the media, the pair claimed they did not fight but used self-harming as a way to ease the pain of drug withdrawal.164 Their parents, whom they almost stopped seeing, started using media to get through to them, asking them to start a treatment before one of them, if not both, eventually died.165 Even though their parents became aware of the magnitude of their problems, Mitch tended to blame Blake for Amys rapid deterioration, affirming that he introduced her to hard drugs, which Blake later regretfully confirmed.166 Although the pair was looking forward to Christmas, Blake was arressted in November 2007 and remained in prison for more than a year.167 Amy cancelled all her concerts and a month later she was arrested for perverting the course of justice but was immediately released. With her husband in prison, numerous cancellations, a difficult battle with her mental disorder and the co-occurring substance abuse, Amy became oxygen for media fire in 2008. Everyone was waiting for another sensation, often followed by negative comments, and the website When Will Amy Winehouse Die appeared.168 Although it seemed her whole world was falling apart, Amy started going to rehab, winning at the same time numerous awards. She won six Grammy Awards and attended the ceremony via satellite because she could not get visa due to her prior arrest in Norway.169 The Daily Mail openly complained about Amys nominations calling her a self-destructive junkie.170 She had a successful performance at the BRIT Awards but, in the interview recorded after the ceremony, Amy seemed utterly lost, very skinny, and rather absent-minded.171 Although evidently drunk, she managed to give a few wonderful festival performances, never forgetting to mention her incarcerated husband.172 This period of Amys life was also marked by her occasional hospital stays and numerous YouTube videos with tens of
161 162

For the complete interview with Mitch Winehouse, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CnnK6xy9wY, 27 January, 2013. Amy Winehouse, Wikipedia. 163 Morris., op. cit., location 1306. 164 Ibid., location 824. 165 Morris, op. cit., location 709. 166 Ibid., loc. cit. 167 Amy Winehouse, Wikipedia. 168 See http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2018020/Amy-Winehouse-dead-London-flat-drug-overdose.html, 19 January, 2013. 169 Amy Winehouse, Wikipedia. 170 Newkey, op. cit., location 1902. 171 See the whole interview at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSlHn_au_sI, 18 January, 2013. 172 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R_1Y_v14I8

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thousands of views that witnessed how ill she was smoking crack on camera, wandering on the motorway, playing with new-born mice, etc.173174175 She was charged for physical assaults and her father publicly claimed that she should be locked up in a mental institution for her own safety and protection.176 On top of it all, a friend of Amys and her alleged boyfriend for a short time told the New of the World that she told him I have a feeling I am going to die young.177 After all the unfortunate events that marked Amys life in 2008, she went to the Caribbean at the end of the year and, although she allegedly quit using hard drugs during the same year, her drinking did not stop.178 She was seen with the actor Josh Bowman during her stay on the island; she said she was in love again and did not need drugs any more, adding that her marriage was over and it had been based on doing drugs.179 Both Blake and Amy were at the time pressured to separate and, though they had even tried to have a child, maybe they believed it would be for the best.180 Blakes solicitor sent Amy divorce proceedings based on a claim of adultery committed in February 2009, and they were officially divorced in August.181 After the divorce, Blake said in an interview that Amy was the loneliest person he had ever met; he characterized her as very funny and witty but a complete f* idiot at times; he also thought that, although she could write great songs, she was not very good when it came to verbalizing her feelings.182
In 2009 Amy displayed yet another set of utterly disorganized and irritable behavioral

patterns, and she had to face new legal issues: she was arrested and charged for hitting a woman in the eye but was found not guilty; she allegedly spat at English socialite Pippa Middleton; she was arrested on charges of common assault and public order offence, and was given a two-year conditional discharge.183 In spite of that, Amy was doing the best she could to fight her addictions and other diseases by taking Librium and probably other medication that were supposed to address her bipolar disorder.184 It turned out that alcohol and cigarettes were the most difficult to handle, but cigarettes were not exactly a priority. When a treatment starts, bipolar patients often complain about the loss of their creativity and many decide to stop the treatment. 185 During her battle with bipolar disorder, Amy was writing music but her publishing company did not like the demo tapes.186 Her posthumous album Lioness: Hidden Treasures received mixed reviews, some
173 174

Newkey, op. cit., location 2375. See the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVqZXiSEDAg, 18 January, 2013. 175 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxYmUBUakeA, 18 January, 2013. 176 See http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article1095501.ece, 18 January, 2013. 177 Morris, op. cit., location 913. 178 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILeND5DO3UM, 18 January, 2013. 179 Morris. op cit., location 981. 180 Ibid., location 622. 181 Amy Winehouse, Wikipedia. 182 For the whole interview with Blake, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90v1Rmq4jOU, 20 January, 2013. 183 Amy Winehouse, Wikipedia. 184 See http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2035848/Amy-Winehouse-prescription-drug-Librium-died-seizure.html, 20 January, 2013. 185 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4UJhPiBE6c, 20 December, 2012. 186 Morris, op. cit., location 1157.

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of them saying that the album ekes out all it can from the archives, or that theres little that sounds throwaway, or like it should have never been released; but theres equally little that sounds absolutely essential.187 The last two years of Amys life were relatively calm with no huge media sensations; she visited her doctors regularly, worked out, and took yoga lessons but her attempts to stop drinking would last only a few days or weeks at best. She dedicated her time to her goddaughter Dionne Bromfield who recorded her first CD and started performing.188 Besides helping her goddaughter, Amy generously supported many charities which, unfortunately, the media did not find sensational enough.189 By 2011 Amy had spent approximately a year with her new boyfriend Reg Traviss, but was at times photographed with Blake.190 In June 2011, Amy had a scheduled concert in Belgrade where it was more than evident that, once again, Amy was not well and that she needed help more than ever. She appeared on stage utterly confused and disoriented, her gestures pointing to possible snorting; it was reported that she refused to go onto the stage but was physically forced by her bodyguards. Amy was absolutely in no condition to perform and seeing her hugging herself was more than sad.191 Like many times before, she cancelled the rest of the tour. Oddly enough, the people closest to her reported that in the last couple of months of her life Amy had never felt and looked better. Her boyfriend Reg said they were planning on going to a wedding during her final days and that she looked very upbeat and satisfied,192 but her last interviews do not really confirm that.193 The depth of sadness and pain in her eyes is appalling. Her father Mitch kept on repeating that she was not an alcoholic, she just drinks too much every now and again.194 To make things even more confusing, her doctor Christina Romete said that Amy did not appear to be depressed at any stage, and that she specifically said she did not want to die.195 On July 22, 2011, having two bottles of vodka stored in her room, Amy had a routine appointment with her doctor who described her as tipsy but calm when they met; she spent the rest of the day listening to music, playing the drums, and watching the YouTube videos of herself. She lost the battle the same night. Her wild and sad heart stopped beating due to a large quantity of alcohol; her general practitioner said Amy had resumed drinking three days before
187 188

Lioness: Hidden Treasures, Wikipedia. Morris, op. cit., location 1038. 189 Amy Winehouse, Wikipedia. 190 Ibid. 191 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttJg8901qAU, 20 January, 2012. 192 Morris, op. cit., 1298. 193 See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9BZLTuYMXI, 20 January, 2013. 194 Morris, op. cit., location 1146. 195 See http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2258983/Amy-Winehouse-died-watching-YouTube-videos-vodka-binge.html, 20 January, 2013.

36

because she was bored.196197 On the day she died, crowds gathered to pay their respect by leaving, among other things, numerous bottles of alcohol in front of her Camden apartment. It could have been a sign of how much her fans percieved and loved her as a hard-drinking, tortured, bluesy singer but, had they been fully aware of Amys agonizing battle with bipolar disorder and addictions, they would not have paid their final respect by leaving the very thing that led to her untimely death.

196 197

See http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/26/amy-winehouse-dead-singer-alcohol_n_1032344.html, 20 January, 2013. See http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2258983/Amy-Winehouse-died-watching-YouTube-videos-vodka-binge.html, 20 January, 2013.

37

CONCLUSION
As a passionate music lover, it was impossible for the author not to notice and immediately become enchanted by the tremendous talents of Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse. However, it was equally impossible not to detect their tempestuous lives largely governed by blues, drugs and alcohol, which provoked questions about the origins of their talents, problems, success, and early deaths. It turned out that both of them suffered from bipolar disorder, but the realization brought out another set of questions about mental illness and bipolar disorder itself, as well as its impact on an individual. Answers to these questions were found by consulting up-todate literature, numerous websites and audio/video material, as well as a neuropsychiatrist. Consultations with the legendary Serbian guitarist Radomir Mihailovi-Toak contributed to the understanding of the musical talents of Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse. The results show that there are more than 300 mental disorders diagnosed by medical professionals according to different clusters of symptoms that cause distress and impairment of a persons behavior. The severity of mental disorders can vary greatly, but they all have certain common features: they are of episodic nature and highly individual, and determining their causes is a fairly difficult task. The research reveals that bipolar disorder was first found in Homer and Hippocrates writings, and was usually associated with divine powers; the knowledge of bipolar disorder, as we know it today, started emerging at the end of 19th century and, despite the advancements in the field, it is a riddle yet to be solved. Professionals now think that causes of bipolar disorder are genetic and that it usually starts occurring at the age of 18 among the individuals with cyclothymic temperament; it occasionally goes hand in hand with heavy substance abuse, which is considered to be a patients initial attempt to stabilize his/her violent mood changes, irritability, and proneness to excesses of all kinds. The research also implies that a large number of artists and writers suffered from bipolar disorder and that, owing to the highs and lows of the disorder, some of the most famous works in music and literature were created. The research revealed that Janis and Amy came from highly musical parents whose ambitions were to become singers. Amys and Janiss biographies show that their fathers were probably prone to depression, which could have resulted in the genes being passed on to Janis and Amy, and possibly contributed to their bipolar disorder. They did not display the symptoms of bipolar disorder in their childhood, but they could have been described as very curious, impulsive and disorderly traits found in a large number of bipolar patients. They started exhibiting their artistic tendencies very early on, especially in music, and had somewhat similar blues influences; writing songs became one of Amys favorite artistic expressions at 10, while Janis started writing sometime later. The research also shows that both Janis and Amy lacked a father figure as a role model when they were young and that they started using marijuana and alcohol at the beginning of puberty, openly expressing their nonconformism and indifference to the school programs. They were known as wild girls in high school but, as one may expect, Janiss behavior caused much more disapproval and rejection back in the 1950s. Amys frequent
38

school changes as well as Janiss battles with her peers, parents and teachers could have resulted in their feelings of low self-esteem, guilt and anxiety, which are almost always present in patients with bipolar disorder. At around 18, both Janis and Amy started spending free time and performing in the local bars; Janis reported her first nervous breakdown at this time, and another one followed in 3 years. Large quantities of alcohol and other mind-altering substances became an inseparable part of their artistic careers and personalities when they were 20 and, besides having a distinctive phrasing with a strong bluesy note in their voices, they also completely adopted the blues style of living. As the result of bipolar disorder, Janis and Amy expressed their chaotic love relationships and turbulent lives in their music, using it for channeling their devastating depressions and manias; during their bouts of depression, they wrote some of their biggest hits such as Kozmic Blues and Love Is a Losing Game. Being extremely solitary and considering themselves victims of their own impulses, they spoke about their loneliness openly in songs such as A Woman Left Lonely and Back to Black, while their feelings of guilt and low self-esteem can be heard in Turtle Blues and You Know Im No Good. Although both Amy and Janis tried to fight their addictions by using different medications, they could not break the vicious cycle of bipolar disorder and substance abuse, and they mentioned that they would probably die young. After 5 or 6 attempts, Janis finally overdosed on heroin and alcohol, and Amy died from alcohol poisoning. Despite the fact that the research shows many similarities between the two artists as well as their symptoms of bipolar disorder, a psychiatrists in-depth analysis of their lives would certainly provide a greater insight into the artists lives. Since Janis and Amy rarely spoke about the creative process itself, apart from writing songs when they were depressed, it would be very interesting and useful if a bipolar musician could explain the influence of mania and depression on creative work. Finally, it would be highly thought-provoking to find out what Thomas Szasz, the author of The Myth of Mental Illness, and his supporters think about the bipolar ways of Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse.

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