Pastor Willie George, Fixing Us, Part 1 - Id Like to Get to Know You

CotM Sermon Notes 2.1.2014 So many marriages fail that our culture has come to believe that marriages that succeed were just meant to be. Health and life expectancy of those whose marriage doesnt work out is at jeopardy compared to those who have a healthy marriage; their children also experience a very high level of stress. The culture parades love stories before us as if it is just a matter of finding the right person, the soul mate. Your marriage is worth fixing. The vast majority of couples argue and experience conflict. Most couples struggle with achieving success in marriage due to entering marriage with unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations can easily mess up the good plan the Lord has to bless. Unrealistic expectations are found in the Bible in the story of Naaman, the leper. 2 Kings 5.9-12: Naaman expected the prophet of God to bring healing to him in a particular way; when it didnt happen that way, he was offended by what the prophet instructed him to do. He left in an angry state and almost missed his miracle. God knew Naamans expectation, but He allowed the prophet to say what he did and challenged Naamans pride. Naamans advisors begged him to follow the prophets instruction. When Naaman did, he was healed. He almost blew receiving Gods plan for his life due to unrealistic expectations. We see in the popular media someone who finds his/her soul mate because it was just meant to be. We give up because we think if we were designed to be together it would be easier. If I had known what he/she was like If we were supposed to be together, we wouldnt argue so much. Not every troubled marriage can be fixed, especially if one party doesnt want it to be fixed, but if both are interested and willing to work to make it happen, there is great opportunity for success. One of the saddest reasons that a marriage dies is that neither spouse realizes the value of the relationship until it is gone. John 13.34-35: Jesus was teaching a different kind of love. Agape is not an impulse of the feelings. Phileo is the kind of love that has the power of attraction. This is goodtheres nothing wrong with it and it is good in its timing, but it falls short of the love Jesus was talking about. Agape has nothing to do with natural feelings. Luke 23.33-34 is an example of agape when Jesus was on the cross: Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing. Everyone on earth had forsaken Him, but yet He was filled with forgiveness for mankind in this hour. They did not deserve thisit was not based on their behavior but on their potential. In this moment, He gave His life for them. There is no way to describe this other than with the word agape. Agape is given to us by God so we can be everything we are supposed to be. Its needed not just for when we are out in the world, but for our primary home relationships. So many people today are afraid of being hurt due to experiences they have had in a relationship. We become afraid that we will be taken advantage of and hurt again. Agape enables us to love one another without the fear of being hurt.

Agape is fearless. Agape never fails. This means that it cannot be beaten. Jesus exercised agape love on the cross. He died, but who won? Was it Pilate and those calling for His death or was it Jesus who won the salvation of everyone who will ever believe in Him and receive Him as their Lord? Agape always prevails. Results arent always instant, but ultimately agape wins. If for no other reason, God had to raise Christ from the dead because agape never fails. The agape of God empowers me to know my spouse at the highest possible level. Holding on to the shortcomings of our spouse locks them into events that have happened in the past. When that happens, no matter what, our thoughts have been locked into a certain mindset concerning the other person. We need to help the people around us become what they are meant to be. We need to look past failures. We have to be practical about this but maintain the attitude that God can bring change into others lives. Many people have changed because of Gods agape love. If we dont have it, we dont have a chance of seeing our marriages become what they are intended to be. Great people are sometimes hidden in the failures of their past. Saul of Tarsus, for example, started as a tormentor of the church. His conversion led to the Lord making him the greatest evangelist of all time, who also wrote half of the New Testament. Only one person, Barnabas, believed in Paul and presented him to the apostles. Acts 4.36: Barnabas was called the son of encouragement because of his attitude toward people. The church would have missed Pauls gift without the testimony of Barnabas. The church saw Paul as his past, not who he could become. Barnabas saw his potential and encouraged him. Instead of holding on to the failures our spouse has made in the past, we need to let agape help us to win. Skepticism concerning change will inhibit a persons ability to change. Choose to believe in Gods ability to help both you and your spouse achieve your full potential. Will you forgive one another rather than responding with the junk? Will you get to know each other more? Dont stop getting to know your spouse when you get married. Keep getting to know one another every day. As marriage goes on, there is a tendency to drift apart in marriage. This site has questions that are designed to overcome this pattern. Churchonthemove.com/fixingus Use this series as a time to begin a fresh new chapter in your relationship. Your marriage, as imperfect as it may be, is worth the effort. Your marriage is worth saving.

Heres a place to begin! Fixing Us Questionnaire Spend some time together and ask your spouse these questions. 1. Name my two best friends. 2. What was I wearing on our first date and what did we do? 3. Name one of my hobbies. 4. What stresses am I facing today?

5. Who is my favorite relative? 6. What is my favorite band/artist? 7. What is my favorite meal? 8. What is my favorite color? 9. What personal improvements do I want to make in my life this year? 10. What is my favorite vacation spot? 11. What is my favorite way to be soothed? 12. What was my most embarrassing moment? 13. What was my worst childhood experience? 14. Name two people I admire. 15. What are the most important events coming up in my life and how do I feel about them? 16. Who was my best friend in high school? 17. Whats my dream job? 18. What three foods do I hate the most? 19. Of all our friends, who do I like the least? 20. If I could wish for two things, what would they be? 21. Whats my favorite time of day to make love? 22. What turns me on sexually? 23. What is my favorite dessert? 24. What is my favorite restaurant? 25. Describe what my day was like today.