Planet Nilknarf March 2014

BLASTS FROM THE PAST!!!!!

1"#4

Welc !e t Planet Nilknarf 1""4

2014

Greetings and salutations cherished readers and kindred spirits everywhere! My apologies for the lack of content in last month's issue. This has been a crazy time. I am uggling school with writing a book and trying to get this place cleaned up so my hubby and I don't get thrown out!! !hile I was going through the filing cabinet in my bedroom to see what could be thrown out I came across several old photos. To think "anette and I have known each other for T#I$T% years!! The cover photo and the one in the middle are from our photo session with &ink &anther productions shortly after we first moved to Toronto. They're the company that promised to make us stars and then basically scammed us out of all of our money and buzzed us like a couple marines' not to mention cheated "anette out of her car!! !hen (ave saw this picture he said )That doesn't look like either of you!* #ere we are in costume nearly +, years ago when we went to -olorado for the .ational -arousel /ssociation convention in 0112!

These pictures were taken at &T- 34 at 5it -arson 6airground in 7urlington' -olorado. #owever' our music video was filmed in $oseneath' 8ntario9 http9::www.youtube.com:watch;v<=>r+?Mr@Ag%

I remember when we recorded this in our friend (oug's studio and he played lead licks on his 6ender Btratocaster in the background. /nd I remember when my dad drove me and "anette to $oseneath in our costumes and did the camera work. Cast but not least' I guess the most challenging ob went to our friend $ichard -oncepcion who edited the whole thing! The day "anette and I went to film our video was the day we'd made that historical decision to move to Toronto. The only work we ever got from &ink &anther productions was talent scouting that we .DED$ got paid for and we literally sang our way out of a bunch of parking tickets. Thank you very much' #elene!!! F9G The last time we ever performed together as a musical duo was in the summer of 011H when we sang at our friend "an's first wedding9

Bome things don't change9

The first picture was taken sometime in the early 1,'s when I was still living in Cindsay and the one on the right was taken more recently in Michigan. %ou could say that after all these years I still know how to have a $8/$I.G G88( TIMD!!

My favorite animal on &T- 34 is the hippocampus. This is me in 0112 on the left and +,00 on the right. I shudder to think how much weight I've gained over the years. (on't remind me!

I also came across these birthday greetings I made for my friend Cisa and her son Dvan when he was only three. These were among some of the first pictures I created with that )(esign %our 8wn -arousel #orses* book of mine.

I may embroider these on one of my neIt ?uilts along with a couple of my earlier works!! Borting and organizing is long' hard work. /nd it's B8 D/B% to get sidetracked!!! 8ld photos and diaries are everywhere!! Ghosts from the past! Dspecially the +,,0 diary I came across. /ll the angst I went through with .ick before (ave came into my life. /nd I was facing a similar situation back then' threatened with eviction if I didn't get my place cleaned up. I busted my ass' even with help from my mom and my friends and I still got evicted anyhow! I hope the same thing doesn't happen this year.

8ne thing I know for sure is that if anything ever happened to (ave I would probably ust stay single again for the rest of my life. I don't need all the drama and anIiety I had to put up with when I was involved in dating relationships in the past. I've had more than my fair my share of drama' mind games' eIcuses and abuse!! !hen I was faced with eviction back in +,,0 my boss helped me win my case with the housing tribunal to buy some time so I had until .ovember to find a new place. I got that new place at the beginning of 8ctober. I almost didn't get that place because my landlady' $uth' was badmouthing me to any wouldJbe landJpersons' making me out to be the tenant from hell!! Dven though her brother wanted me out' she did not want me to leave because she knew that if I did leave it would mean her brother would be selling her house and putting her into a nursing home!! Dven if I could have stayed there any longer I wouldn't have wanted to because when I found out what she'd been doing to me I lost every ounce of respect I ever had left for her. It was good not to be in a basement apartment anymore. In fact I was now on the T8& 6C88$ of a building near the corner of %onge and Bt. -lair. I lived above a falofel restaurant. To make this anecdote even more amusing' I had an amazing view of a -DMDT/$% outside my kitchen window! To quote Gene Simmons' mother Every Day Above the Ground is a Good One!

In recent years I had a look at the old neighbourhood. The falofel place is no more now. It's been replaced by some highfaluting Italian bistro. Antil I found my last place' apartment hunting was a real nightmare. I never could have survived without my correspondence with (ave. It was in late 6ebruary of +,,0 we were both on Bpeaker's -orner and we sent each other tapes and small gifts through the mail throughout the months to follow. It was shortly after I moved into the new place when we went on our first date together to see Mandy &atinken in concert at the #ummingbird -entre. It's funny. I had a feeling when I moved into that place that I wouldn't be there for long. (uring the months to follow' (ave and I were inseparable and when we weren't spending every waking moment at home on the phone' we were at each other's place every weekend. Bometimes I'd take the Go train

to 8shawa. Bometimes he'd come to Toronto and stay at my place. /nd I worked siI days a week. #ow I managed to uggle that with planning our upcoming nuptials boggles the mind now that I think of it. The day that I found that apartment was the day that 1J00 happened! The day the !orld Trade -enter was bombed! /nd I almost didn't get that place because $uth was badJmouthing me to any potential landJpersons!! My former boss pretended to be a potential landlady and caught her in the act! 8h' I already mentioned this but not the part about my boss. I was there when they were on the phone with each other and nearly died of shock!

An Ol$ Letter fr ! M !
In keeping with the theme of )7lasts from the &ast*' while I was cleaning my room I came across this letter from my mom when she was in #olland' written almost @, years ago. /t the time I was a teacher's assistant at 6enelon 6alls public school and my dad used to drive me back and forth to work every day. It has been almost three years since my mom passed away and this letter was written less than a year before my grandmother died. My grandmother passed away on .ew %ear's (ay of 01>4' therefore' this letter was probably written the last time my mom saw her mom. Feb 26th, 1985 Dear Dad & Margaret How are you. It is here a quiet mome t be!ause "eter has go e to his s!hoo# a d $eert%e had to see a o#d #ady i the Hague. &ust ta'e the bus. I s#e(t ti## about 9)15 a d did my thi g u(stairs. *he dow stairs +brea',ast- was sti## o the tab#e a d I was hu gry ,or the ,irst time si !e .aturday ight a,ter I had /t ate a## day. 0 #y a !ou(#e o, dri 's. *he tri( was o'ay, #e,t a d arri1ed o the mi ute. 2e ha1e had su i Ho##a d u( ti## today. It is 1ery ,oggy. I ,i d, as I thought I wou#d, the hose !o#d. *hey 'ee( it at about 65. Ha1e e ough sweaters a d $eert%e #e t me a u der31est to 'ee( my ba!' warm. I 1isited mother Mo day a,ter oo . .he remembered me right away a d as'ed ,or you a d Margaret by ame. 4,ter about ha#, a hour you !ou#d ot get a ythi g a!ross. 2e/## be goi g tomorrow a d maybe .aturday be!ause 5e y wi## be there. 6omi g Friday we wi## be goi g to Hardewi%' to *ri% a d &oh a d 4 Haas. Her gir#s wi## be home the too. I ha1e /t s(o'e to 5ee . His wi,e $re had a #o g story o the (ho e. 4,ter awhi#e ta#'i g she be!ame hoarse. I as'ed whether her throat was sore. 7o I e1er ta#' that #o g at o e time. 8".. *oday we wi## ha1e ,ish. Fresh ,rom the sea9:; *he #atest ews is that my sister &a y is !omi g, a#o e, be!ause I am here a d a bit (a i! about mother. Mother had to be #i,ted ,rom her !ommode a d I he#(ed the urse. Her bo es ratt#ed. It was eerie. <ou hear that e=(ressio but I did /t thi ' that !ou#d be ,or rea#. .he is a bag o, bo es. My e(hew by marriage, that do!tor ,rom Dut!h $uya a, as I ha1e to#d you about is a bo e surgeo . He re(#a!es hi( bo es as o e thi g. 0 !e he had a (atie t a d he had him war ed that it was (ossib#e that he wou#d be s#ight#y #ame a d that was so. .o out o, a ger he bro'e i a d sto#e se1era# thi gs. He got !aught. >assie is #oo'i g beauti,u#. He o,te (#ays with a marb#e. I am debati g whether I wi## mai# this

#etter or wait u ti# $eert%e !omes home. I am ' itti g a so!' ,or her. I bought beauti,u# thi (ur(#e woo#, Margaret, a d a mat!hi g mau1e 1 gui#der (er s'ei . I got 2.?9 (er do##ar at the ba '. Ha1e gi1e $eert%e some gro!ery mo ey to start. 2hat e#se !a you do. 2e are ma'i g a do## #i'e 5itt#e @ed @.H. .he is so ha((y with that . 2e are goi g to bri g it e=t wee'. *ime wi## ,#y. .ay hi to e1erybody. 5o1e to the both o, you a d my #itt#e #uisebos, 6o!o, 5o1e, Mom K* 6ish fresh from the sea* is a reference to a commercial that was very popular back in those days. I had the whole thing memorized9 )This is fish' fresh from the sea' caught by my man "ohn and his crew. -ooked in butter' fresh from the country' that's what makes it taste so good. My customers would be some mad if I ever stopped using butter' you know. /nd "ohn would say don't I look healthy; Bo when I want butter' don't give me something else.* /nd then "ohn walks in and says )7utter's one of the good things in life.* #ard to believe that commercial was over @, years ago. I can still remember it as if it were yesterday! #mmm...I wonder if I can find it on %ouTube....

%ear M ! an$ %a$

Monday' 6ebruary 0,th' +,02 (ear Mom and (ad' /s you can see' mom ' I found a letter you wrote to us from #olland and shared it here. It has been a comfort to me and it helps keep your memory alive as much as possible. Three years ago I struggled with the thought of losing you. !hen you wrote this letter it was probably the last time you saw your mother. I'm afraid I did not go to school today. (ave cleaned off the couch last night and put most of my things in a bag so I was in a panic because I could not find my M&@ player /.%!#D$D!! /nd you know that these days I .DED$ go /.%!#D$D !IT#8AT it!! It was underneath my backpack the whole time but to add insult to in ury the moment I got outside' it was giving me the 7lack Bcreen of (eath! The battery was -8M&CDTDC% (D/(! 6or me music is more than ust a luIury. My M&@ player has become a part of BA$EIE/C!! It would have been a fiasco if I tried to go to school without it! These days it feels like DED$%T#I.G has been pushing me toward a meltdown! It was bad enough that I had to have one in front of !alter yesterday. I should be happy and relieved that we 6I./CC% got that manuscript loaded onto that flash drive. I've had one hell of a time with it! 6ede was kind enough to download open office onto his own computer ust so I wouldn't have to copy everything onto a !ord document but it looked like that's what we had to do after all. I was so frustrated I ran to my room crying because it looked like it was going to be a lost cause!! Instead of being happy that my manuscript is ready to mail to 6ede' I am feeling drained and depressed from my whole ordeal because of how I cried in front of !alter and had to let him see me like this.

/nd he had to tell me I'm )spiritually low.* #e's probably right' but it still hurts to hear it. I know I've backslidden' I swear more than I used to and I haven't gone to church in years. 7ut there MABT be a church that isn't a sensory assault to me these days. The last few times I've been to church (ave can't stay awake and I'm on pins and needles like a scared rabbit about to bolt because of all the crying babies! Cast time I went by myself and during the closing hymn every baby in the congregation went off like car alarms!! Dven the ones in the nursery. %ou can still hear them plain as day because both sets of doors are open and the ones in the nursery echo in the hallway! I know I need -hristian fellowship but I need to be around people who love me unconditionally without udging me or trying to change me. That's where much of the resentment has come from over the years. #ow was your birthday' mom; (o they still celebrate birthdays in heaven; 8r is everything all one continuous day where time doesn't really matter in the first place and it's all ust one long celebration; I wonder about a lot of things these days. I'm supposed to be saved. I'm supposed to know that "esus forgave my sins on the cross and I am going to heaven no matter what. Bometimes I feel like the only thing I'm really good at these days is being a bad eIample! /t least I really have made progress with my cleanup. Today I managed to clear out most of the crap in the corner neIt to my bed and most of the crap under the kitchen table. I was ruthless! It's amazing what could be thrown out! /ll these discs I don't use. -omputer games I'll never play. &apers. The most annoying part of cleanup is things that keep flipping away on me. Cike they don't !/.T to be picked up. Bometimes it feels like such a fight. &lastic things are the worst because they're supposed to go into the recycling bucket but they're always falling out and rolling away everywhere. The name of the game is to 5DD& everything tidy from now on. $ob -/.'T throw us out if he knows what an effort I've been making. Bpeaking of 7lasts from the &ast' I saw my old apartment on the news the other day. .ot the one in these pictures but $uth's house. .ot the apartment itself' but outside in the neighbourhood. Thank God I don't live there anymore. The place was prone to horrendous flooding at the best of times. .ow it's been flooded worse than ever! In fact the (ufferinJ$ogers area has been one of the worst places in recent weeks for flooding and (ufferin has recently been declared Toronto's /7B8CATD !8$BT BT$DDT! It has flooding' it has potholes' it has DED$%T#I.G that makes a street bad!! I donLt suppose my former boss still lives there anymore either. It feels later than it is. If this were a normal day and I managed to drag myself to school after all it would already be time to go home. I had to cancel going out for coffee with Mel because I wouldn't be going to school today. Bhe knows what I can be like when I'm losing )spoons*' especially since I lost most of them before I left the house this morning anyway. /nyway' today when I was sweeping underneath the kitchen table I came across my old Btudent $ecognition award. I received it back in +,,4 when I was in /rdith's class. It's been nice and sunny out. I have no eIcuse to be missing school. I ust hope I have all the information tomorrow so I can catch up. %/%! My M&@ battery is full now and my computer is finished defragging!! I hope things will be normal tomorrow but then again when has life DED$ been )normal* for me; 7efore I unplug my M&@ player or turn off my computer' I like to see if there is anything worth downloading. I am trying to keep myself in the habit of picking up and throwing out something whenever I get up from my seat. It's ridiculous the number of pill containers and little paper drug store bags I keep finding on my desk' not to mention candy wrappers that never find their way into the

garbage. I can't believe the amount of stuff here that's ust "A.5! !here does it all come from; #ow does it all manage to breed and multiply; (o we even ABD whiteJout for anything anymore; True I found several old MadJCibs books in my bedroom which I've managed to reunite and relegate to one specific area and I want to use whiteJout on some of them so that they can be used again. It might be fun to play MadJCibs with my /sperger group on Games .ight provided they still know what nouns' ad ectives' etc. are. /t least one of the things I came across was the brochure for the hotel where "anette and I will be staying when we're in .ew %ork. 8ne of the things I meant to ask them is if their rooms include payJ perJview movies. Good to know that they (8!!! 8therwise it would appear that most hotels seem to be phasing them out. The last three or four places I've stayed didn't have movies. .o movies in (enver at that horrible Timbers place' which had no bathtub or bathroom door either. G!ell' it did have a door but it was the sliding kind I could not get closedM. .o movies at the place I stayed in Michigan. .8 movies at the place I stayed at in 5ansas. /nd no movies at the -omfort Inn where "anette and I celebrated her birthday! /t least these last three places have had 7/T#TA7B! /nd Michigan and the -omfort Inn have &88CB! !ater is the most important thing to me. I need to be submerged in it in order to deJ stress! Bhowers ust don't cut it. #aving water ust beat down on me isn't the same when I need to B8/5!! I figured movies are probably on the way out because with lapJtops' i&ods' etc. everyone ust watches their 8!. nowadays. !atching movies on holiday is ust one of those things that make it a little bit eItraJnice even if I have to pay eItra for them. The last movie I watched in a hotel room had to be Toy Btory @ when I was on the Bpokane !ashington trip. It was around @ in the morning and I was too eIcited to sleep. "anette is going through a difficult time. Bhe has to see her doctor on Thursday morning because she's been suffering with painful acid refluI for the last siI months. Bhe was hoping it would go away on its own but it has been getting worse instead. Bhe hopes it's not a hiatal hernia. /nd we really hope she won't need surgery. Dspecially day surgery at .orth %ork General. /t least if she does' hopefully she will meet George' the anesthesiologist. #e's really nice. /nd he looks "ABT CI5D Matthew 7roderick. 7ut if she's having day surgery at least I've warned her about what happened to me when I woke up so I hope they can make allowances for her. I am gradually digging away at the piles that surround me' freeing up more space. I guess you could say I'm defragging my life. Tonight's Games .ight at 5erry's &lace. I think I'm gonna make me some hot chocolate and a peanut butter sammich. Cove' '$et

&ar '(el f the M nth

Gage &ark' Topeka' 5ansas' 01,> #erschellJBpillman.

6or a #erschellJBpillman carousel' this one has a lot of assorted cast aluminum figures' like the &arker Cillie 7elle pictured on the previous page and several of these menagerie figures9

/mong my favorites was the newly carved Bunflower horse and the classic Tro an umper9

Wil$ A) 't *'n+le &at(

I have completed four more s?uares for the )!ild /bout "ungle -ats* ?uilt. These will go along the top row.

6rom left to right9 CooffJstyle )Bneaky* tiger' Cion and tiger both from &T- 34 at 5it -arson -ounty 6airgrounds In 7urlington' -olorado. /nd a (entzelJstyle lion. 8nly three )sneaky* tigers were made by Cooff and only one still rides a carousel platform. This panel I am working on at the moment will go in the middle of the top row9

I thought this would be appropriate theme music to go along with this pro ect9 http9::www.youtube.com:watch;v<-evI=vB"Ck> It's kind of been my theme song lately. /nd I think it's also going to be the title of my neIt book' however I'm afraid I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here as usual. I haven't even 6I.IB#D( getting the 6I$BT one published yet. 6ede really has his work cut out for him. Dvery chapter has B8 M/.% pictures and in addition to sending him the flash drive I have had to copy and paste each chapter into an email and email him the pictures all over again because the manuscript saved on the flash drive is basically ust a prototype of how I want the finished book to look. #e can't print the book from the flash drive itself because the pictures would lose their ?uality' so I have to send the pictures all over again and sometimes it can take as many as > or 1 emails for each chapter because I can't trust my computer to send more than a few at a time. My email used to choke up if I tried to send more than four or five photos at a time but lately it's been strong enough that the most I've sent in one go is BDED.!! It's kind of a long and tedious pro ect and if I knew I'd be doing this I would have copied all my pictures into new files for each chapter so I wouldn't have to keep hunting back and forth. 8h well' live and learn. This is good to know to remember for neIt time. /nd there !ICC be a neIt time!

!hat I do know is that a C8T is going to happen over the neIt five years. I'm not sure what. I hope (ave and I are still living in the same place but I also hope that things will be 7DTTD$ than they are now. My art will be shown in other places besides 7obcaygeon and it would be nice if there really IB an actual carousel workshop where my animals are being made out of !88( for the real thing to be ridden.

P (iti,e Ener+In last month's issue I was working on the dog from the -arousel of #appiness in .ederland' -olorado.

Bince then I also finished the dolphin from there too9

These colouring pictures are no longer available for free on their website' but you can order their colouring book here9 http9::www.carouselofhappiness.org:store:3!:N:category:id<>+0O4OHPoffset<,Psort<normal I want to order one as well as a patch or two. I don't remember seeing patches available for sale when I was there or I would have bought one then. I put patches not only on my .-/ acket but also on my )Technicolour (reamcoat*! My work in progress is featured near the end of the book I am working on and the completed ?uit will be on display in 7obcaygeon when it is finished. I have three s?uares left.

This year's show in 7obcaygeon will be bigger and better than the one that was on during the months of (ecember +,0+ to "anuary of +,0@. This year's show will be for the entire months of May and "une. I am hoping that my inJlaws can drive me and my precious cargo there again in eIchange for me treating them to lunch at the Grilled -heese #ideaway once again. In the meantime I've taken Corraine's advice and put together a &ower&oint presentation to show at the library on the dayGs;M I give my )(esign %our 8wn -arousel #orse* workshop. .ow that I'm down to the last row' besides the dolphin I also have Bir Bt. "oseph from the Bilver 7each carousel.

I took artistic liberties and chose my own colour scheme. #is and the rest of the Bilver 7each colouring pictures can be found here9 http9::silverbeachcarousel.com:aboutJus:downloadsJandJmedia If they had 8.D more picture they would have a dozen and it would be nice to make them their own smaller ?uilt featuring ust these pictures to donate to them as a gift. I have so many other ideas for pro ects though. Btay tuned and prepare to be amazed!

%ee.a- f r a %a-!
G8r at least over half an hourM I had a great time on Baturday' 6ebruary ++nd at Mel's husband's birthday party. 8kay' I admit I was a bit of a bad smurfQ I got a little tipsy. I probably shouldn't drink on my meds but I confess I've felt fractious lately and needed to blow off some steam! I had a beer and two different vodka coolers and an uproarious darned good laugh when (oug said I sounded like one of those remoteJcontrol toy cars. Mel's daughter made the cake and it was /!DB8MD! It was a moist lemon cake with chocolate frosting' rainbow sprinkles' strawberries and blackberries and I was reJenacting that famous dining room scene from )!hat /bout 7ob;* http9::www.youtube.com:watch;v<5vE56-&Hc-/ They've got a good stereo system downstairs in their rec room and -#6I plays a lot of good colourful O,'s and >,'s music on Baturday nights. #owever my favorite part of the evening came when they showed us how their #AGD big screen TE is hooked up to their computer so we can watch %ouTube videos on the big screen. Dveryone got to take turns choosing whatever videos they wanted so I got to en oy being dee ay for at least half an hour and picking out some of my own favorites. In keeping up

with the )7lasts from the &ast* theme in this issue' it seems to be a highly appropriate coincidence that I chose my top favorite >,'s videos9 http9::www.youtube.com:watch;v<"mc/1CIIR!w http9::www.youtube.com:watch;v<&Ib4/=dTrJ/ http9::www.youtube.com:watch;v<pIg=OgMzeO/ I don't say what they are because I want my readers to be surprised!!

HAPP/ B0RTH%A/ &OL0N!!!

-olin turns 00 years old on March 1th. #e has a condition similar to autism which makes it hard for him to make friends. !hen his mother asked him if he wanted to invite some friends over for a birthday party he said. )!hy bother; I don't have any friends anyway. #eartbroken' his mother turned to 6acebook to invite everyone from all over to show our support and send him good wishes. %ou can find -olin's birthday page right here9 https9::www.facebook.com:-oliniseleven;ref<brStf %ou can post him a message on this page and:or send cards and gifts to this address9

Colin P O bo! "#$ %i&hland' () *+,-./,"#$ 0SA

I want to make a very special picture for -olin's birthday and not only will I post it to my 6acebook page' but publish it in neIt month's &lanet .ilknarf. Dleven is a very special birthday. %ou're still a kid but you're almost a teenager. This is the age when you usually start thinking about the opposite gender. !hen I was -olin's age everything was about (onny 8smond and:or the 7ay -ity $ollers.

The summer I turned eleven my parents and I had ust been to #olland. I hope -olin has some very special times in the days leading up to and on his birthday. I know how he feels. !ell' this brings us to the end of another issue of &lanet .ilknarf. Borry it hasn't been a very long one this month. I have been eItremely busy. 6ebruary may be the shortest month of the year but it feels like the longest. 7etween uggling school work and trying to get this place cleaned up so we don't end up being evicted there has been little time to come up with much content for this month's issue. #owever' with March 7reak coming up I hope I will have more time for art pro ects and an interesting adventure or two not to mention book reviews in the /pril issue of &lanet .ilknarf.

EWETOP0A

See / ' Ne1t M nth!!!