A raccoon with a giant gun. A talking tree that only says three words.

Two kick-ass warrior women- one with green skin, one with purple skin (and bald). Theres no doubting that James Gunns Guardians of the Galaxy is the wackiest superhero blockbuster of the past few years, if not of all time. Chris Pratt, best loved as Andy Dwyer on Parks and Recreation takes the lead role as Star-Lord (a name by which only he refers to himself), with Zoe Saldana, Vin Diesel and Bradley Cooper also starring. Heres the worlds first look:

Guardians of the Galaxy is in cinemas August 1st, 2014.

As the saying goes The King is dead. Long live the King. However, if one were to say that every time a king were to die on HBOs adaptation of George RR Martins A Song of Ice & Fire series, there wouldnt be time for much else on the show. For there are few episodes in which a King is not either stabbed brutally, chained to a wall or, as has several times been the case throughout the shows first three seasons, murdered. The highly anticipated fourth series (based on the latter part of Martins third book)

begins following the Red Wedding of season three, which saw the deaths of several major characters. The family Stark are recovering from this incident whilst still largely split apart, whilst the Lannisters cope with their own issues (Peter Dinklages Tyrion is in handcuffs) and Emilia Clarkes Denarius takes her rightful place on the throne. Who will die next? Lets hope its Joffrey! Game of Thrones returns to HBO in April.

Scarlett Johansson Age: 29 Coming Soon: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Under The Skin, Chef, Avengers: Age of Ultron

THE HOT LIST 2014

Gal Gadot Age: 28 Coming Soon: Batman VS Superman

Shailene Woodley Age: 22 Coming Soon: Divergent, The Fault in Our Stars, The Amazing Spider-Man 3/4

Jennifer Lawrence Age: 23 Coming Soon: XMen: Days of Future Past, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay- Part 1, Dumb & Dumber To

George Clooney Age: 52 Coming Soon: Tomorrowland Out Now: The Monuments Men

Aaron Paul Age: 34 Coming Soon: Need for Speed, A Long Way Down, Exodus

Benedict Cumerbatch Age: 37 Coming Soon: The Hobbit: There & Back Again, Sherlock Season 4, The Imitation Game

Emma Watson Age: 23 Coming Soon: Noah

Emma Stone Age: 25 Coming Soon: The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Birdman, Magic in the Moonlight

Matthew McConaughey Age: 44 Coming Soon: Interstellar Out Now: True Detective Season 1, The Wolf of Wall Street, Dallas Buyers Club

Matthew McConaughey Age: 29 Coming Soon: Life After Beth, Mortdecai Out Now: Parks and Recreation Season 6

Emilia Clarke Age: 26 Coming Soon: Game of Thrones Season 4, Terminator: Genesis Out Now: Dom Hemingway

Kristen Stewart Age: 23 Coming Soon: Camp X-Ray

Taylor Swift Age: 24 Coming Soon: The Giver

REVIEW S THE YEARS BIGGEST BLOCK-BUSTER

It is widely accepted that the best kind of advertising is advertising that the consumer doesnt realise is advertising. The LEGO Movie is, in essence, a 100-minute Super Bowl commercial. A brilliantly creative, starstudded commercial, mind you, but a commercial all the same. The main role of the film is to advertise LEGO products, and in doing this it succeeds tremendously. For the first hour, even the biggest LEGO Movie cynics will be sold on the fact that there is more to be found here than cheap product placement. A major final-act twist, which is creatively superb, does pave the way for some cheesy visual enactments of what is most likely the LEGO companys Mission Statement, but is redeemed for the most part by some genuine sweetness. At the centre of all the bruhaha is Emmett, voiced by Chris Pratt, the ultimate Ordinary Guy, whose entire life is put in perspective when he meets a person who actually doesnt follow the Book of Rules, listen to the chart-topping hit Everything Is Awesome or watch Where Are My Pants?. The fact that a film which is essentially a commercial contains the most relevant satirical message in a family film since directors Phil Lord and Chris Millers last animated comedy, Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs, is really saying something. Elizabeth Banks Wyldstyle takes Emmett to meet Vitruvius (who is

basically Gandalf meets God, and is voiced by Morgan Freeman), who tells of an ancient prophecy that only Emmett can answer. So far, so clichd, and in all fairness, there isnt a single original plot point for the first hour of The LEGO Movie. Where the originality does come is in the characters, the sets (oh, the sets!) and the surrealism of the universe. Cameos from Batman (Will Arnett), Superman (Channing Tatum), Green Lantern (Jonah Hill), Wonder Woman (Cobie Smulders), C-3PO (good old Anthony Daniels) and Shaquille ONeill are fun, and fill some time, but are overshadowed vastly by original characters like Alison Bries Unikitty and Liam Neesons Bad/Good Cop, with the latter in particular emulating more fun in his voice performance than he has on screen in many, many years. If you are a left-wing socialist, you will undoubtedly have mixed feelings leaving this film, getting the impression that the filmmakers have lured you in with their Meatballs-level intelligence, then dumped a ton of saccharine, manipulative advertising on your head. If you are a child, or someone who loves-LEGO-and-doesnt-care-about-politics-when-LEGO-is-on-screen, youre going to think this is the goddamn funniest film ever made and its hard to argue with that.

O ART, WHERE ART THOU?

There are many, many Hollywood directors who could have made a unique, compelling and moving film based upon the events covered in The Monuments Men. Tarantino could have Tarantino-fied it and made a fast-paced comedydrama with Christoph Waltz. Soderbergh could have turned the true story into Oceans Fourteen. Spielberg might have outdone Crystal Skull with a fun family adventure. However, the job of bringing this incredibly intriguing and shockingly untold tale to the big screen was put in the seemingly competent hands of George Clooney. Hey- everyone loves George Clooney, dont they? He can act, protest, model, and up to February 2014, direct! The Ides of March- brilliant! Confessions of a Dangerous Mindimaginative! Leatherheads- errrr. enjoyable? The Monuments Men begins as so many films do, with George Clooney telling other people what to do.. and it certainly starts as it means to go on. With no major dramatic scenes (par an inspiring speech or two), Clooneys supposedly central character has no real role to fill in the story. Then again, neither do the characters portrayed woodenly by Matt Damon, Bill Murray or John Goodman, all actors currently at relatively high-points of their careers, all

hoping to earn a Best Supporting Actor nomination just for standing on a World War II set next to one of the other two. Jean Dujardin and Hugh Bonneville, who are both underused for fairly predictable reasons, certainly try more than the rest, and Bob Balaban is a standout as the only player who hasnt been COMPLETELY miscast. Cate Blanchett, meanwhile, doesnt do enough to warrant a Blue Jasmine Oscar recall, and is a contender for Worst Token Female in a Period Film 2014. Whilst all the directors mentioned above have suitably distinctive styles, Clooney is similar to his contemporary Ben Affleck in his lack of recognisable qualities. Argo won Best Picture last year, for no apparent reason other than the fact that it had actors like John Goodman being mildly funny. It would be unfair to call The Monuments Men this years Argo, if only for the clear effort Affleck put into that film, while Clooney seems to sleep through most of this. There are parts which are ripped from Bridge on the River Kwai, complete with whistling being incorporated into Alexander Desplat (who cameos in the film)s score, and parts which seem to be ripped from the Watching Paint Dry Network. When all is said and done, there is nothing particularly offensive in this film to warrant a barrage of negatively. There is simply very little to comment on whatsoever. A number of attempts to explore the theme of is a work of art worth a human life? seem shoehorned in amidst the light-hearted misadventures of our gang, and are frankly wasted on such a mediocre work. As you sit and watch The Monuments Men pass by on the screen before you, its very easy to vividly imagine this film popping up on Cable TV schedules in 15 years, when your children will ask how did all these actors make a film together- directed by one of them- that I have never heard of, that won 0 awards, and that has been completely forgotten? Your answer: I dont think ive heard of The Monuments Men.

IN NEXT MONTHS ISSUE

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 EXCLUSIVE THREE COVERS TO COLLECT: SPIDEY, GWEN & MAX DILLON MASSIVE COVERAGE OF THE SUMMERS BIGGEST SEQUEL PLUS WALLY PFISTERS TRANSCENDENCE: INCEPTION 2? BUDAPEST HOTEL, MUPPETS & CAPTAIN AMERICA REVIEWED