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Pejman Ayoubzadeh, MT
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with me that she was exceptional
as a person and as a witness to
the dignity of life. She lived well;
she died well. That we all have
the courage to do the same. On
the home page of the website, I
scanned a copy of a bookmark
(included here) that was available
for everyone at the funeral. It had a
quote on the flipside of her picture
that captures Siobhns sense of life
and spirituality very beautifully:
Life should not be a journey to the
grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a
cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn
out,
and loudly proclaiming:
Wow! What a Ride!
Hunter S. Thompson (1937-2005)
This sense of living life to
the fullest is found, in one very
specific way, in video #3, the one
that shows her going skydiving!
She told me at the time that she
wanted to face one of her fears.
For me the hardest thing to deal
with, after the shock of her dying
so suddenly although we knew
her time was quite limited is a
continuing sense of absence that
pervades my being. Its ironic to
talk of absence containing so much
presence; but it does! Absence
for me right now is very real, but
presence is what defines so much
of Siobhns spirit of life because
she is so present to so many today
even though she has crossed over,
as they would say in India.
49
I often use the paradoxical
term dying to live when
speaking about her dying and death
because I believe she continues to
exist. We do not have any clear
images of what that existence
looks like; some people have their
religious convictions to provide
some comfort. But life does go
on albeit in an altered state of
existence (1 Cor. 2:9). When I was
a young person I was fortunate
to have a very wonderful father
figure, Geoff, a man with white
hair and white beard from Wales.
He and his wife, Marie, from
Ireland, were married for 50 years,
but had no children. I suppose in
some ways I was one of the many
young people who filled in the gap
somewhat. When he died in 2003
a family card with the following
poem was distributed, one that I
think also captures Siobhns spirit
so eloquently as well and which is
also on the website home page:
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When
you
awaken
in
the
mornings
hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932
There are some in our
world who will argue that life after
death is like this or like that or
that death draws the final curtain.
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