Associate Level Material

Appendix D E-mail Etiquette

Read the following e-mails. For each e-mail: Describe any content and formatting errors found. Determine if the content is appropriate for a workplace setting. If it is, explain why. If not, identify the errors made and rewrite the e-mail, to be appropriate. E-mail One o: om !ub"ect line: alent Reallocation om, his e-mail is in reference to the two employees who are going to be terminated Friday. #e ha$e determined that they are %icole !tone and &oren'o orres. (s we discussed yesterday, their performances are not on par with those of other employees in the accounting department) inter$entions with these employees ha$e not been successful in helping them impro$e their performance. &et*s plan to meet with them indi$idually in the conference room between +:,, and -:,, p.m. hanks, (ndrea Responses to .uestions / and 0. he topic line of this email is incorrect because it discusses talent reallocation as a singular, and the email discusses two people that will be relocated. If assuming that om and (ndrea are managers this email appears to sound good. he email mentions names of the employees who will be reallocated, but other than mentioning the accounting department as a hole it does not specify anyone specifically that %icole and &oren'o are compared to in their performance.

Rewrite e-mail if necessary E-mail One o: !ub"ect line:

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E-mail Two o: 4anager !ub"ect line: doc u wanted Dear 4anager, (ttached to this e-mail is the doc you wanted with the info on that lake pro"ect. I hope e$erything in it is str5 and the way 7 want it8888 9 #, did you see &ast 2omic !tanding last night: I was totally R3F& at the bald dude88 :-; 9 2ool, <mployee 1 Responses to .uestions / and 0 (ssuming that the email is addressed to a manager it would be fine, but if addressed to someone else using a name in the =to> line is better. his email should also ha$e a space after the Dear manger introduction. #riting in slang is not appropriate in business writings. he second paragraph needs to be remo$ed from the email because it has personal information. ?utting personal information in emails during work is not appropriate.

Rewrite e-mail if necessary E-mail Two o: 4anager !ub"ect line: Information re.uested Dear 4anager, I ha$e attached the documents re.uested by you on the lake pro"ect. I ha$e looked at them myself to make sure they are correct. If you see a problem with the documents please contact me so I can look into the problem. hank you, 4ia @acobs

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E-mail Three o: 2ubicle %eighbor !ub"ect line: 237R <!A Dear 2ubicle %eighbor, I really do not appreciate it when you talk loudly on the phone. It is hard for me to think straight and get my work done. A37 (R< %3 43R< I4?3R (% B(% (%A3%< <&!< (R37%D B<R<88888 Aou should be more considerate of the fact that we are in an open workspace. B(%C! for what I assume will be an impro$ement that is %<<D<D. Aour neighbor Responses to .uestions / and 0 7sing all caps when composing an email shows signs of poor eti.uette. #hen using capitals in e$ery word in a sentence shows you*re yelling at someone. 7sing an exclamation mark in writing represents being angry. his email should ha$e been written with more dignity and respect so that it does not offend someone and creates friction in the workplace. his email should ha$e a space after the =Dear 2ubical %eighbor>. his email is not suitable for a working en$ironment, because the writing style is inappropriate in business emails. he writer should ha$e taken more time and choose a better choice of words and not making the email sound so threatening. Rewrite e-mail if necessary E-mail Three o: 3ffice %eighbor !ub"ect line: <xcessi$e noise Dear 2ubical %eighbor, &ately I ha$e noticed you ha$e become a little o$erly excited when talking to your customers on the phone. If this helps you perform you "ob better than more power to you, but lately you ha$e been raising your $oice that it has affected me in doing my "ob because it interferes with me concentrating while I am speaking to my customers. #ith this being said respectfully can you please lower the tone of your $oice a little when talking to your customers so it doesn*t distract me or others: Aour cooperation is appreciated with this small issue. Aour %eighbor

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E-mail Four o: (ll company employees !ub"ect line: 7RD<% EAour reply needed 3D(A <mployees, (bout 06F of you ha$e not let me know whether or not you plan to attend the company cookout !aturday. #e ha$e to pro$ide the caterer with a final number 3D(A, so I need those of you who ha$e not let me know to e-mail me (!(? and tell me if you are coming and how many family members you are bringing. his is urgent, so please don*t delay in responding. hanks, 2arol Director Responses to .uestions / and 0 his email appears to look and sound excellent except for not ha$ing a extra space after =<mployees>. It should also ha$e the date of the cookout and the date the information is needed back. 3ne other problem is that capitali'ing the work director is not necessary. his email sounds good for business writing e$en though it has one word capitali'ed. I belie$e this was done to express the urgency in the email and to stand out. 3ther than those small mistakes this email doesn*t need to be re-written.

Rewrite e-mail if necessary E-mail Four o: !ub"ect line:

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