A Visit Reality

to

Published in electronic format by 21 Creations Corp. www.21creations.com othon@21creations.com

Cover Design by Consuelo Castaeda e-mail consuelo@consuelocastaneda.com Design and layout by !uis C. "thon. email othon@21creations.com #am$n !. %randa Photos and &e't e-mail ramon@rlgranda.com Copyright ( 2)1* by #am$n !. %randa +o part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photo- copying, recording, scanning or otherwise, e'cept as permitted under sec- tions 1)- or 1). of the 1/-0 1nited 2tates Copyright 3ct, without either the pri- or written permission of the Publisher and4or 3uthor, or authori5ation through payment of the appropriate per copy fee.

3bout the 3uthor

#am$n %randa is from a traditional Cuban family. 6e was born in the 1nited 2tates in 1/0) and educated in 2wit5erland and 7ngland. 6e has written two other boo8s, 9:orldly 2mite; <1//=> and 9&he 2erene City; <1//0>. ?n addition he wor8ed in film production for many years and wrote a screenplay 9Canto de Cuba; <2)))>. 6is virtual tour of Pinar del #io can be seen at www.virtourist.com4america4pinardelrio4inde'. html

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!ist of Photographs in order of 3ppearance

@iew of 6avana 2 2igns and Aorro Castle = 3mado and Bulito 0 "bispo4Pla5a de 3rmas 1) Carbershop 11 %ilberto and his parents 12 6otel Ao8a 10 !a &erra5a 1Car - !a &erra5a 1. the #ed !ada 21 Dids in hamlet 22 Carlos Aanuel de CEspedes 2= Palace of the Captains %eneral 20 7ntertaining &ourists *1 "ld 6avana 2treet *2 "bispo ** !a Aaravilla *F 7l Gloridita *Centro %allego and the Capitol Cldg. ?nterior Patio of the Capitol F1 Chamber of #epresentatives F2 Capitol 6allway F* 2choolchildren on e'cursion FF &he 2ofa of 6avana =1 Bulia Airanda =/ !a !anchita de #egla 01 !anchita ?? 02 3 Pathway in ?sabel Aaria 0= CuyaguateHe #iver 00 Gield of %reen 0!a Carreta -1 !a #eal street Pinar del #io -F 3braham Pere5 6ouse -= Cus 2tation in Aantua -/ #esidential street in Aantua .2 Gustes house in AacuriHe .= Dimas ./ Dimas by the 2ea /F Dimas 2chool /= Clanca and family /0 Aanolin Gustes /. #ed 7arth - Pinar del #io 1)) 2an Carlos 1)1 !andscape 2umidero 1)2 AacuriHe 1)F &he &hree 3rnaldos 1)= &oledo and Gamily 1)/ Certa Gustes 11= Aartin and +eighbor 110 Aiguel Gustes 11"n the porch with Buana Pere5 12F Aantua Church 1*2 Cuni-%arcia Porch 1/F);s 1*0 Aonument in Aantua 1*/ !andscape Aantua 1F2 &ransportation in Cuba 1F0 Che sculpture Pla5a Civica 1=) ?sabel Aaria 1=F @iew from the Porch 1== #amonin %randa 101 Caseball 2tadium Aantua 10= Presidencial Palace 1-. Pla5a de !a Catedral 1/2 Pla5a @ieHa - "ld 6avana 1/F ?nterior Patio - Pla5a @ieHa 1/= 1234Cuba Aonument in 6avana 1/0 :elcome to %uanabacoa 1/. Cuban slogan 2)&he Iumuri @alley 21= #odeo 22)

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J"h beso de muHer, llama a mi puertaK J6aschisch de mi dolor, ven a mi bocaK BosE AartL

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@iew of 6avana - 6otel +acional

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7verything was normal. ? got my bags and then we waited around for someone to pic8 us up. 6e never showed up. ?t was such a strange feeling to be with my people for the first time. ? loo8ed at them shyly and tried to catch everything without focusing on anything in particular, the people waiting for friends and family, their clothes and manner, the cars in the circular drive- way, #ussian !adas with their bo'y loo8, the beverage stand, and the fluorescent lighting on people;s faces. :e decided to ta8e a ta'i. 3mado, as usual, dic8ered with the driver and then we agreed. &hat is how ? rode to the house in Airamar for my first night in 6avana. ? hadn;t slept very well for a few days and usually ?;m 9dormil$n;. ? did not sleep more than 2 or * hours be- cause it was all so damn ama5ing and weird and ? didn;t 8now anything. 2lowly ? began to 8now everyone at the house. :e were all formal and stiffly polite. &his is always funny but with something poignant underneath. &here are reasons for everything. ? forgot to tell you about the Muality of the night and the air and the ride. &he way the car lights beam through unlit streets illuminating details. &he peeling paint on columns, the small dogs sleeping on porches, the puffs of diesel e'haust from rumbling truc8s and the long av-

F enues with their sparse traffic. 3ll embraced by the velvety dar8ness and thic8, scent-laden air. "n my first day in 6avana, there was full sunlight with that hot white light of the tropics that ma8es every color clear. ? got my ne't emotional surprise as we drove in the car and came out of the Gifth 3venue tunnel bear- ing left and ? saw my first view of 7l Aalec$n, the sinuous curve of avenue that fronts the sea and leads to the bay of 6avana. ? had very strong feelings. Iou see ? had heard of it all my life but never really e'pected to see it. ? was born in Aiami. ?t was a normal ride for my friends. ? would have these Holts and some ? would share and others not. 6avana and my people were a wonder to me. ? ate the city with my eyes. 3ll my life my family had told me that because of my name ? could not go. ? had believed them and for much of my life ? had not wanted to go. &he Cold :ar was real. :hen the business wee8 started, 3mado had meetings in "ld 6avana and ? wandered the city. ? had a list of museums to see. 3n older Cuban 7'ile and family friend had shown me pictures of his visit and told me where to go. :hen we met in Aiami it had all the drama of a clandestine meeting for even though thousands go every year, amongst our families it is loo8ed on badly, emotions are volatile and inHuries real, so we hide our

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2igns and Aorro Castle

3mado and Bulito

#am$n %randa love and fascination and 8eep them as secrets.

? had arrived in mid-+ovember and in winter it can get cold and some days the wind is gusty and the s8y is leaden. Aonday was one of those days. ?t was late afternoon. Ay friend had another meeting so ? had a spare 142 hour. Ay hair was a bit long and with the wind ? loo8ed li8e one of those little troll figures that were popular in the 0);s. ? prefer to have a neat appearance and so ? used that astounding intellectual ability of mine and decided to get a haircut. &hat is how ? met %ilberto the Carber and came to 8now about my lost family and understand it is they who are home and we who are elsewhere. 7ventually, ? came to ta8e that strange road trip through history to family that was real yet had that air of unreality that was the reality of my trip to Cuba. "h the Cubanity of it allK ? tell you. ? saw the red and white striped pole discreetly set on the wall outside the shop, which is ne't to a cafe on the Pla5a de 3rmas, one of the oldest sMuares in 6a- vana. ? only li8e old-fashioned barbershops. ? entered andN the ivory patina on the white tile, the ceiling fan, the old woodwor8, and the perfect dimensions of the barber;s chair made it the 8ind of old-fashioned that ? accept with grace and slide into with ease. &he plaMue on the wall honouring the first barber of 6avana,who received his license in 1==2, and the view through the plate-glass window of the sidewall of the Palace of the

. Captains-%eneral made it the beginning of a beautiful e'perience. &he Palace was the center of government for a few centuries and is where the 1.2. %eneral :oods or Croo8e, whoever was fat and ruled Cuba for a short time, had an elevator installed. ? sat in the chair. ? spea8 2panish with a Cuban accent so ? am instantly identifiable when ? spea8 but our e'- periences clothe us differently. Ay people and ? were e'otic to each other. &he older ones 8now. %ilberto the barber is middle-aged with a gentle face and a full bushy mustache. 6e wore a clean, short- sleeved smoc8 and our conversation began, as so many did, identifying myself as Cuban from Aiami. 6e as8ed, O P:hat province is your family fromQR, as he folded the cloth around my nec8, carefully tuc8ing in the edges. O PPinar del #ioR, the westernmost province in Cuba. O P:here in Pinar del #ioQR &his time with a pu55led e'pectancy in his voice. O PAantua.R

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6e seemed stunned, went to the closet, and came bac8 with his identity card. 6e showed it to me. ? read, PCirth- place Aantua.R +ow ? was the one who was surprised. Ay hair, of course, was untouched. 2o we entered into an animated conversation of surprise and e'change. 6e 8new of the family, though he was a bit off on my father;s nic8name, but then *. years is a long time. Ay grandfather was the most important man in the district bac8 then. 6e was a signer of the Constitution of 1/F), landowner, Congressman and more but our family was but one of a weave of families. &he phone rang. ?t was the barber;s mother. O PIou;ll never believe who ? have sitting in the chairR, he began. &hey tal8ed and then he passed the phone to me. O PSue tal, 2eoraR ? began for ? am polite.

?t turned out her husband had been best friends with a relation of mine in Aiami. ? could hear him over the phone line getting all e'cited and happy. Ay hair was still untouched. "ne and a half hours after ? had en- tered, ? left with an e'cellent haircut at the most e'pen- sive barbershop in 6avana <T2.))>, an invitation to visit his parents and the news that an entire branch of my family was still living in the district of Aantua. Ay friend and ? were both an hour late and arrived at the same

"bispo - Pla5a de 3rmas

Carbershop

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moment at the designated meeting point and thus were both on time. 6avana is li8e that. ? did not tell you about our outing the day before and my first taste of my beloved province of Pinar del #io. ? behaved Hust as my dogs, Aelo and +ene, used to do when my father would ta8e us all for a ride in Aiami bac8 when my brother and ? were growing up. Ay friend was driving too fast for me to see everything and Pyap, yap, yapR ? would go. ? was all e'cited and alert when we drove into the hills near 2oroa. ? was struc8 with wonder and pride at the lushness, cool air, verdant hills, ferns, a falling stream, palms and other trees dripping orchids. &here were four of us in the party. :e finally arrived at a tourist hotel, the Ao8a that was above a village set in the hills, !a &erra5a. Ay friends stopped for lunch and ? left them to race down the winding road to the village. Ay friend aside, ? only wanted to be with Cuban people and to meet them. ? have often been timid and do not force myself on oth- er people. ? had seen when we were driving up the road that there was a small structure Hutting out into the la8e. :hite walls on three sides open on the fourth, tile roof and red railings on the verandah. ? figured it might be a bar or cafe of some sort and went to find out. ? loi- tered by the gangplan8, too8 photographs, and waited until ? felt comfortable or willing to go in.

1F &here were people sitting at tables and no one seemed much bothered by my presence and blessed relief, ? saw a bar. ? went to the man and as8ed if it was open to the public. 6e said PIesR and we went through a few more Muestions and answers before ? finally ordered and payed for a beer. 3nything that is available in Cuba, with the e'ception of the farmers mar8ets, is available and payable only with 1.2. dollars or its convertible peso eMuivalent. &here are three currencies on the islandN the national currency <when ? was there it was freely tradable and e'changed at about 1. to 1>, the convertible peso <1 to 1>, and the 1.2. dollar <including coins>. ?n the years since, it has changed again as :ashington threatens and 6avana confiscates. &he convertible peso is reMuired and the e'change is fi'ed in favor of the government. Contact is down and prices are up. Ceer in hand and li8ely breathing again, ? turned around and nonchalantly loo8ed at my fellow patrons. &here was a table in front of me with three men at it. "ne of them nodded a greeting at me, a young man of about 2), and ? nodded bac8, said hello and then introduced myself. &hey invited me to Hoin them. #uben, the young man, was from the village and had Hust recently graduated as an engineer. &he new vil- lage was a boomerang shaped structure built on py-

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lons. 7ach section has separate stairwells for access to the various dwellings. ?t was built in the early 0);s and the hotel, which is further up on the hill and not visible from the la8e, was completed within the last two years <in 1//F or thereabouts>. &he hotel is of elegant appear- ance and fully modern. &he village is of good design but somewhat shopworn and with an air of the unfinished that all postrevolutionary concrete structures seem to share. #uben told me that it was a community development proHect built for eco-tourism and that all profits would be reinvested in the community. Bobs were for local people. ? found the whole thing to be very attractive and laudable. ?t was in every respect a model proHect for ? saw no other of its 8ind. ? was favorably impressed by the proHect and by #uben. Ay grandfather, in his political career and in his life, had always been concerned with the betterment of rural people;s conditions. ? am certain that he would have approved of the proHect and of young #uben. ? have envied only once in my life and got over it Muic8ly. ? was at a friend;s house. 2he was calling loads of people, spea8ing freely and ? wished that ? could do that. Ay friends are my lifeline but ? have to budget my calls. ? did however tell #uben that ? envied him. ?t was a fib but ? wanted to convey my approval. ? wished him well and departed. &hey must have thought ? was mad.

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1/ ? Hoined up with my friends as they were finishing at the restaurant. 7vidently, the food was appallingly bad and somewhat e'pensive. ? only ate once at a state run institution. ?t was a restaurant in 6avana, located in a beautiful old apartment. :e demanded to inspect the food before it was coo8ed, the service was poor in all senses of the word, and the china was mi'ed, some of very high Muality and worth more than a year;s wag- es of any of the employees, and others of C"A7C"+ manufacture. &he good china was stamped #iviera Bewelers, in 2panish. &he company is still in business and as far as ? 8now, still owned by the same family and still serving some of the same families as clients. ?t is now located in Coral %ables where the Aayor is a 6avana gentleman of an old Cuban family. Coral %ables is rather similar in parts to Airamar. Ay brother;s townhouse is in a part of Coral %ables that bears the same relationship that Dohly did to Airamar, neighborhoods of 6avana located on the other side of the 3lmendares #iver. Ay grandfather;s 6avana house was in Dohly. Ay family was not AaHor !eague but we were &riple 3. 3ll of our families were once penniless refugees of the Cold :ar. ? thin8 about it. "ur social patterns are strong. &hey have re-created themselves from scratch, to some measure. 6owever, that was not the point. Ay opinion of state run restaurants was not from my limited e'perience but rather from conversa-

2) tions with foreign businessmen in Cuba who assured me that in generalN food Muality was bad, service poor and prices high. &he ne't two wee8s ? spent photographing 6avana, having new e'periences, tal8ing to everybody and des- perately trying to find a means to get to the district of Aantua and meet my family. ? forgot to tell you another story about my first day in Pinar del #io. ? met 3mado and the others. &hey finished and we drove off and Pyap, yap, yapR ? would go when the view changed and ? wanted to see every- thing while he drove too fast. &wice, ? made them stop so that ? could ta8e pictures of the landscape. "ne of those times, we stopped at a hamlet. &he houses were hidden from the road and behind me. ? had not no- ticed. Ay focus was on the landscapes. Children came running up and as8ed me to ta8e their picture. ? did. &here was a party going on, some of the men were sit- ting and drin8ing, and then ? heard the music. &hey of- fered me a drin8 and ? had to decline because of time. ? e'plained that ? was with a group from 6avana but that ? was a Pinareo from outside and it was my first day in the province and the others did not understand my emotions. &he 9guaHiros; toasted me while one de- claimed with emphasis, O PIou are in your ProvinceKR ?t felt good.

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the #ed !ada

Dids in hamlet

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2* &a8e a wal8 with me through "ld 6avana. :e start at the Pla5a de 3rmas and then eventually ma8e it to the former Capitol building, which now houses a library. &he Pla5a is lively with an ebb and flow of people. ?t is rich with history and that lends a certain solemnity and Muiet to the hubbub that is yet always there. &he Palace of the Captains%eneral is now a museum of Cuban history with many mementoes honouring those who struggled for independence. "n the plaMues, ? saw many names that were familiar to me from my life in Aiami including those of relatives by marriage, the Dia5 de @illegas. ? was thrilled and by seeing those plaMues and 6avana, ? understood better some of the sources of e'ile fervor. &he Pla5a also houses the former 1.2. 7mbassy. ?t was the 7mbassy while the Palace was the center of government. &he new 7mbassy was moved to a prime spot on the Aalec$n when the center of government moved. &he 1.2. 7mbassy is no longer new but is still there and in a perennial state of repair postponed and covered in scaffolding. ?n the center of the sMuare is a statue to Carlos Aanuel de CEspedes, the father of the nation. 6e started the strug- gle for Cuban independence 12/ years ago, although our identity as Cubans is vastly older. ? met a descen- dant of his in 6avana. 3 distinguished gentleman who is an architect and wor8s for 6abaguane', the semi-au- tonomous agency that is headed by the 6istorian of the

2F City, 7usebio !eal and whose tas8 is the restoration of "ld 6avana through mi'ed foreign private4state entities that invest in the city. &he architect has three children, two sons and a daughter. &he daughter lives in Aadrid. &he sons are also both architects. "ne lives in 6avana and the other recently relocated to Aiami as an e'ile where he is a visiting professor and sometime lecturer at the 1niversity of Aiami. ? met "restes Br. when ? returned to the 2tates and now we are friends, struggling artists defining our culture and ourselves by e'ercising our re- spective vocations. &he highest professional salary in Cuba is F)) pesos a month, which is roughly eMuivalent to 2) 1.2. dollars. "restes del Castillo 2r. graciously wrote, O P3m ? really a distinguished gentlemanQ "h my %odK ?;m not a descendant of Carlos Aanuel de CEs- pedes although his second last name is my first oneN we come from a common trun8 of a tree but from different branches. ? wor8 for an architectural design agency of the City 6istorian;s "ffice not 6abaguane'. ? have four childrenN the eldest one is "restes, who lives in Aiami. Geli' is the second one and lives in 6avana as does the youngest, Bavier. Aaria Dolores is my third child who is in Aadrid for her doctorate in biological science.R

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Carlos Aanuel de Cespedes

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:herever ? wal8ed through the city and the countryside, people would come up to spea8 to me. ?n the sMuare, it might be a 2antera, a blac8 woman of age and distinc- tion, priestess collecting for her religion, young people Hust loo8ing to spea8 to someone different or vendors both legal and illegal. &he vendors, hustling a living much as others do in any country where tourists visit, always started the same way. O P7spaaKR &hey would shout as they saw me coming and ? would sha8e my head. O O O P+o.R P?taliaKR +o again. &hey would shrug as if as8ing Pwhat thenQR

O PCubanoR ? would say and most would get pissed and storm off. ? would spea8 to those who recogni5ed me as Cuban. "thers, though ? felt sympathy for, after all, it was only swing and a miss, and they are Hust trying to ma8e a living, ? would not help in their pegging me. "ur e'periences clothe us differently and manners ma8e the man. Ay 8ind made some mista8es but we are 9ancien regime; and ? am Cuban. :ords. ? stop at a place. ?t overloo8s the valley of ?sabel Aaria. 2tanding there, ?

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feel as natural to it as the bree5e or the trees or the wa- ter. &his dust is from that earth. &he illegal vendors are sometimes left alone and at other times are arrested by the vanload by the tourism police, which are different fromN regular police, traffic police, motorcycle police, security police and secret police. Prison sentences are handed out the way flyers are at an 3merican supermar8et. "ne year, two years, special on vendors, si' months. #estoration wor8 is centered on the sMuares of greatest historic value radiating outward along main thorough- fares. &he farther you are away from tourist areas the more things are in ill repair. 2ide streets can reveal a level of decay that is actively dangerous for if you wal8 on the sides there is real ris8 of a falling piece of masonry or balcony hitting you. 2ome buildings are in total col- lapse and others are ruins but have facades that can be preserved and incorporated into new wor8. &his is the case in my friend;s proHect. &he 6elms-Curton !aw does not apply to the property. &here is no claim from government, individual, or heir as the former owners were 2panish. 3ll claims between the respective gov- ernments are settled. &he buildings vary in age. &he oldest date from the 10th Century, some 1-th Century, many 1.th Century, most 1/th Century and some 2)th Century buildings includ-

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ing some 3rt-Deco treasures such as the former Cacardi 6avana headMuarters <in disrepair but not severe> and most government buildings of the former, short-lived, hot-house #epublic <very handsome structures>. &he Grench are, ? believe, currently on their Gifth #epublic. ?t may well ta8e a couple of centuries, or so, to get the swing of the thing. &o wal8 in the side streets and fully appreciate the sights and sounds you have to be Cuban. Cultural memories are triggered by a #umba beat from an unseen court- yard, the smell of coffee and cigar smo8e, wor8shops that are not shops and may loo8 li8e hovels but are not and where the same activity has been going on for cen- turies. &he sounds of metal, banter among neighbors, greetings shouted in passing, some old lady yelling at a running child or the awe and aura of some traffic-stop- ping national monument of a woman cutting through the crowd li8e a prow through water, these and more surround you. &he cultural memories are there even if li8e me, you have never lived there and are e'perienc- ing them for the first time. Cuban culture is strong. +o two buildings are the same. &here is a wonderful variety and facades are of dressed stone or painted in pastel colors, pale yellow, soft peach, creamy white. &he facades are accented with hard colors on the shut- ters of tall narrow windows or railings on balconies in

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blue, green, brown etc. 3bove most doors, there is usu- ally a fan inset of colored glass to let the light in. &he people are se'ual and lively. &here is a lot of movement and many currents of mood, not everyone is friendly. Pedi-cabs are common but the most common vehicles are 3merican cars from the F);s and =);s with some few being in e'cellent condition and others held together with string and a certain moral Muality of in- domitable spirit. &he owners of some of these cars have tacit approval to operate as ta'is and riding in them is an e'perience. &he passenger area is vast with enough room to conduct an affair in and include a compact * piece Ba55 Combo with bar to help you conduct it. ?f the above seems a bit callous because of the political situation, consider. &he previous generation had a wild time, stuc8 my generation with the bill, and then gets angry with us for trying to fi' it, politically spea8ing. "f course, they also taught us to learn to love family and be Cuban but some of us 8ept on learning and to be free and thin8 and spea8 for ourselves and respect the rights of others we learned on our own and by living in the wider world. ? love to learn but ? often hate the pro- cess because until ? have learned ? do not 8now that ? am doing it. 7nough pamphleteering. &ime for a bit of bar chatter, social stuff and we are after all on our way to the Capitol so Muit loitering you lot. 6emingway used to say that he li8ed his 9moHito; at the

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Codeguita del Aedio and his 9daiMuiri; at the Gloridita. :ellOgood choices. 6e made many places his own and those two are still there. ? received my favorite postcard from an e'otic location in the !evant, a paint- er friend of mine sent it, and it went - PDear #amon, 6emingway was not here. !ove, 3llessandro.R 3t the Codeguita, you can still see a picture of 7rroll Gly- nn with 2epy, a 6ungarian adventurer, bac8 when 2epy was younger and causing scandals in 6avana. "nce, he made a sculpture in Palm Ceach of 3nita 78berg na8ed. 2he was not present. ?t was around the time 9!a Dolce @ita; was a big hit. 3nita 78berg;s husband slugged 2epy upon meeting. ? met 2epy a few years ago with another painter friend of mine, !aureano %ar- ciaConcheso who also had been friend of my father;s. 2epy;s three-acre estate in Coconut %rove is complete with an old 2panish style bar cellar on the grounds. 2epy later seduced a friend of my then girlfriend. &he friend was at least F= years younger than he was and after- wards he gave her a fa8e watch. Ay then girlfriend is now married, based in Costa #ica and wor8s for the :orld 6ealth "rgani5ation. Cy chance, ? ran into her in 6avana while she was there on :.6.". business. ?nside, 7l Gloridita loo8s li8e it more properly belongs in a Aiami Ceach hotel for it is 9Bac8ie %leason; elegant but they do ma8e an e'cellent daiMuiri. &he headwait- er wears a bright red sports Hac8et and on his lapel is a

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long column of flag pins of different nations. +o doubt, rearranged over the last few decades but when ? was there, ? chec8ed and 1.2.3. was in the top three. Aovie people have continued to go to 6avana even during the height of the Cold :ar. &he only reason ? 8now is that ? saw a documentary on Cuban Cinema on an arts cable channel in Aunich. ? was trying to get to @enice to write a boo8. Aartin 2corsese, Grancis Gord Coppola, %eorge !ucas, #obert #edford, 3rnold 2chwar5enegger and more have all gone. ? have been luc8y to meet many people who 8new 6emingway as friend. 3ll assure me that he was a deeply charming man, cultured and rather handsome in person. 6e was a man of many facets and those that see only one define themselves but not he. ? did ma8e it to @enice and had a passionate and rewarding e'peri- ence writing my second boo8 9&he 2erene City;, the arts and history of @enice as seen through Cuban eyes. ? was luc8y to stay in an apartment in Pala55o ?vancich where 6emingway used to stay and ? wrote at the same des8 as he. Ay friend Consuelo ?vancich arranged it for me. 6er father, %ianGranco, was a close friend of 7.6. and lived for a few years at 9Ginca @igLa; in 2an Grancisco de Paula, Cuba. 3t 6emingway;s house, %ianfranco met and married a young AarMuesa from 6avana, Cristina de 2andoval y de la &orriente, Consuelo;s mother. &he AarMues de la &orriente <of Cristina;s maternal family>

38

38

7l Gloridita

38

3 @isit to #eality

was a well-8nown figure who tried to mediate between the Catista government and the revolutionaries and tried again and again but to no avail. Peace among Cubans is a hard sell. :e cross to ParMue Central, close our noses at the smell of urine coming from the public pissoires, and ma8e our way to Prado. "n the corner we stop. Decline the offer from the vendor selling oranges from his cart, and stand- ing ne't to the tall, handsome, cast-iron street lamps, admire the view. 3cross the street, is an impressive Pal- ace formerly the Centro %allego and now 8nown as the +ational &heatre. ?t is vaguely reminiscent of the Paris "pera but set at ground level and without the Cupola. 1p the street and on the same side is the Capitol. &he Capitol is modeled after the one in :ashington. ? come from a political family. Ay father #am$n %ran- da Gustes, grandfather #am$n %randa Gernande5, and greatgrandfather 3braham Pere5, were congressional representatives of the former #epublic. Ay grand-uncle <3braham;s son in law> !omberto Dia5 was a 2enator. ? entered the Capitol as a tourist with the passport of an- other country. ? loo8 at the tic8et stub U 110-*, stamped as paid, T*.)) 12D, and another T2.)) tic8et to be al- lowed to ta8e pictures, which ? also loo8 at now. &he building was almost empty even if you include the peo- ple who wor8 there. ? cannot tell you what my emo-

#am$n %randa

*/ tions were even at this distance. ? am usually a Muiet fellow and wal8ed about the immense and largely empty building, Muietly and by myself. &wo other tour- ists <3merican> entered at about the same time but we did not spea8 to each other. ? have pictures of the building, from the building, of the view from the steps up and down Prado. ? have pictures of the vast hallways paved in colored marble, the gild- ed freestanding lamps and marble benches that are all reminiscent of @ersailles. ? have pictures of the beautiful interior courtyards filled with thriving palms and plants. ? have a picture of me sitting in a chair in the circular chamber of the representatives, one off from where my recent ancestors sat, with a nervous forced smile on my face and haunted eyes. &he picture was ta8en by the cleaning woman who was 8ind and did it Muic8ly so we would not be caught. ? have one last picture that ? my- self too8. 3 teacher and her class of Hunior high students sitting on the steps and behaving much as their eMuiva- lent on an e'cursion always do. ? will not be their enemy nor consider them to be mine.

Centro %allego and the Capitol Cldg.

?nterior Patio of the Capitol

Chamber of #epresentatives

Capitol 6allway

2choolchildren on e'cursion

#am$n %randa

45

&here were many strange coincidences throughout my trip, which is part of what gave it that air of unreal- ity. "ne night early on, 3mado too8 me to a paladar. &hey are privately run restaurants, which are restricted to twelve patrons at a time. &he business is but one of a very small but growing number of private enterprise activities that are permitted by the Cuban government though rules change often and the authorities are 5eal- ous in protecting their authority. 3nyway, we sat down in the restaurant and who should wal8 in but Carlos Aa- vroleon. &he last time ? had seen him had been two years earlier in !ondon, where he is based, and where he had been wor8ing as a &@ producer for 3CC +ews covering the war in 3fghanistan, conflicts in 7thiopia, 2omalia and elsewhere. ? went to school and university with his brother and have been running into Carlos on and off for more than twenty years. 6e is always inter- esting. 6e was in Cuba wor8ing freelance as an associate-producer and camera operator for a documentary report on the 6elms-Curton law. 6e introduced me to his pro- ducer, !inda. :e sat ne't to each other at dinner and so ? spo8e to her about Cuba <hint- ? tal8 to everybody about Cuba>. 2he decided she wanted to interview me. ? said yes but spent the ne't wee8 dodging it. 3fterwards the group wanted to go to a discotheMue. ? refused twice. &he third reMuest was aw8ward and ?

46

3 @isit to #eality

went along figuring that ? would wal8 in with them, wait = minutes, and then leave. ? never made it on that occasion. ? was in a car with a young, 2panish e'ecutive and Carlos. 3s we approached the entrance, Cuban girls with dollars in their hands mobbed our car and ev- ery other. ? much later learned the club does not allow unescorted women and so they show the money to let you 8now that they can pay for the entrance fee themselves. ? was enraged. ? demanded the car be stopped, got out of it as was, howled insults, slammed the door and stormed off. ?t was a good few miles bac8 to the house and the wal8 did me good. &he nights in Cuba are ama5ing, in8y blac8 and with oceans of stars. 3 mile or so into my wal8 ? became aware of someone else. "nce we were certain that neither was going to mug the other, we shared our respective rages and wal8ed together. 6e was a blac8 man from "ld 6avana who was raging against the system and said the leaders should visit real- ity. O O O O PSue hagan una visita a la realidad.R P3 good titleR, ? said. P1se itR, 6e said. P&han8 youR and now ? do. Partway, he left me

#am$n %randa

47

to chase two girls and a bottle of rum that he had misplaced somewhere close to the Copacabana. "ne day ? was wal8ing from "ld 6avana bac8 to Aira- mar, a distance of about . to 1) miles. ? had only Hust started and had to cross in front of the 2panish 7mbassy, a handsome Ceau' 3rts villa painted white. &here was a large crowd of about two or three hundred people and they were silent, always a dangerous sign. ? crossed by the rim of the 6avana &unnel <that goes under the chan- nel and ta8es you to 7ast 6avana and the beaches of 2anta Aaria> and made it across the street to the little par8 in front of the 7mbassy. ? as8ed one fellow what was going on and he muttered imprecations against the Cuban government and the system. 6e said two <presumably dissidents but ? do not 8now> had gotten in. ? moved over closer to some par8 benches and loitered there with my camera in my shoul- der bag and my thumbs in my Heans poc8ets. Drawing attention to myself at a potential riot is in my view - not prudent. &he police arrived in large number and then began to disperse the crowd. "ne boy, 1- or 1., was bac8ing off from a police car, whose occupant, a 2ergeant that loo8ed li8e a hard case, was as8ing him Muestions. &he boy 8ept repeating,

48

3 @isit to #eality

O P? didn;t do anythingR as he bac8ed off and then moved away. &he car made as if to chase him but ? believe he got away. 2core one for the boy. ? was dispersed, along with everyone else, firmly and Muietly. ? continued with my wal8. ? found out later what had happened. &here had been a change of govern- ment in 2pain and the new Prime Ainister, Ar. 35nar was and is conservative. Ar. Aas Canosa of the Cuban- 3merican +ational Goundation had some influence with conservative governments and so he used it. 2core one for the Goundation. &he 2panish 3mbassador made some noises about liberty in Cuba and meeting with dissidents. &he Cuban government 8ic8ed the 2panish 3mbassador;s ass out of the country. 2core one for the Cuban government. &hough ? sympathi5e with the val- ues of the 3mbassador and also have a dispute with the government, ? do not forget that a little over 1)) years ago that 2panish bastard, %eneral :eyler, may he rot in hell forever, in the service of the ?mperial %overnment put concentration camps in my beloved province of Pinar del #io. +o 2panish 3mbassador can dictate any- thing to any Cuban on any matter on Cuban soil. &o be Cuban is to have many disputes, at many differ- ent levels over a long span of time and all held concur- rently. &he day after this incident was the anniversary of

#am$n %randa

49

the e'ecution of Cuban medical students by the 2pan- ish during the struggle for independence. Cy the way ? have many 2panish friends and understand that 2pain has come through its; own terrible history and they are always welcome as friends. :e have a history in com- mon. ? continued on my way and a few miles on ? saw an open-air mar8et and decided to have a loo8. ? did not get my loo8 because ? ran into :ilbert instead and invit- ed him to Hoin me for a coffee and a mineral water. :e went into the cafe4club surrounded by a high wooden fence we were standing ne't to. :e chatted for about half an hour or maybe more. 6e dran8 the coffee but 8ept the bottle of water unopened and eventually too8 it with him. ? did not as8. :ilbert had thrown himself to the sea as a rafter but had been unsuccessful. 6e was in some despair and this is a common condition among people on the island and particularly for the young. 6e spo8e only 2panish and 8new ne't to nothing of the outside world. 6is training was in the repair of industrial eMuipment and he was soon to graduate. ? saw that my words were welcome so ? gave him a few tips on how to get a Hob at one of the hotels. Ay own e'periences are limited, his 5ero, but ? have received much good advice on these matters from successful people, and so ? did what "scar :ilde suggested one do with good advice and passed it on. :ilbert had not 8nown how to apply for a Hob and had not considered it a possibility.

50

3 @isit to #eality

&owards the end of my trip, ? ran into him again though it too8 me a moment to recogni5e him. ? was wal8ing and he had called me by name. 6e had that shy, sly smile Cubans get with friends and he introduced me to the person he was with. :e e'changed greetings, wished each other well, and then parted ways. ? do not 8now if he got his Hob but he was no longer in despair. Cefore ? went to Cuba, ? did 8now that ? had some family living on the island. ? had the address in 6avana of my grand-aunt !ulu, sis- ter to my maternal grandmother, and had planned to see her if ? had the chance. &ransportation in 6avana and within Cuba is a terrible problem. 3s a vagabond author with limited funds, ? am used to being resource- ful. ? am grateful to my difficulties. ?t meant that ? had the widest and most interesting e'periences, met more people, and understood at least some of their problems better. ? had to share them even if only for a very short time and in a very small way. 3nyway, ? got a lift to !awton. ?t is the neighborhood in 6avana where !ulu has her house and saw my grand- aunt. 2he was a delicate, frail creature whose mind had long since ta8en to wander and only occasionally returned to occupy what was left of her person. &he house was in ill repair and stripped of ornaments and most furniture, presumably sold for food over the years,

&he 2ofa of 6avana

52

3 @isit to #eality

but very clean. 3n unrelated couple with their two daughters lived with !ulu and cared for her in lieu of rent. &his is a common and usually humane arrangement in Cuba but of course, everyone has his or her own story. ? could tell that the couple too8 good care of her even if their manners and education were in a condition that ? would consider severe shortage, Hust li8e electricity and water, but ? was grateful to them. ?n my family !ulu had a reputation for malice, haughty behavior and never car- ing for others. +onetheless, those same relatives when as8ed by one of her remaining sisters for money in order to bring !ulu to the 1.2. all payed up immediately. "n my first visit, ? saw none of that. 2he repeated in wonder P7s mi familia.R 6er face glowed and later she confessed that she had been a beauty pageant Sueen in Pinar del #io. 2he was one of ten sisters, no brothers, and her father died in his F);s - what a house. !ulu was a pageant winner who married a demanding husband with a life in the Capi- tol. ? can see the sources of many rivalries and misunderstandings. ? said only sweet things to her and caressed her hand and face while telling her that she was very pretty. 2he was born to far more than her end would indicate. &he husband of the couple had something he was proud of and wanted to show us. :e followed. &he house is

#am$n %randa

53

long and narrow and all three interior sides open up to a small courtyard that is short paces away from any one section. ?n a cage in the courtyard were two pigs that they were raising as food. ? suppose ? was shoc8ed. ?t became a common phenomenon in 6avana after the collapse of the 2oviet 7mpire and the C"A7C"+ trad- ing system to raise a pig or some chic8ens in courtyards or bac8yards. ? 8now because ? was telling the story to another relative <by marriage> at his house in 2iboney when ? noticed that he had three. ? shut up. ?n any case, the shoc8 of it did not really hit me until later when ? was bac8 in "ld 6avana and sitting at a table with friends. &hey were discussing normal things but ? could not hear them. ? felt a distant roar around my head. ? e'cused myself from the table and wal8ed, bac8 straight, across a par8 and the avenue to an iso- lated part of 7l Aalec$n. ? then doubled over in anguish and cried. 2ometimes no matter how much you care, nor how much you try, you have to accept that it is Hust not enough. :hen ? returned ? gave no e'planations but my Cu- ban friend understood and had me accompany him to pic8 up his daughters from school and then too8 me to his very small apartment. :e sat in the living room and from a des8 in a converted closet that was his own 9sanctum sanctorum; he pulled out a bottle of 2cotch. :e dran8 and tal8ed as friends.

54

3 @isit to #eality

+ot all was fear, rage, anguish and class pride. &here was more to the story and it continues. ? am luc8y in my friends because they understand what is genuine much better than ? do but when ? am being scared, priggish, and moralistic, they tell me. ? was not interested in meet- ing foreigners and particularly not interested in meeting businessmen. Ay friend told me that ? should meet ev- eryone, thin8 and Hudge for myself and have the infor- mation with which to do it, as ? am a writer. &herefore, ? did. :e were invited to the birthday party of a foreign e'- ecutive <a 2yrian-!ebanese trading family based in 3th- ens with wide interests and the minor branch that is in Cuba deals in oil> at the house, which he occupies in a secured area of 2iboney, formerly Ciltmore. 3mado entered and introduced me by saying, O P#am$n did not want to come. 6e only wants to be with Cuban people.R 3s it happened most of the few people there were Cu- ban. "ur host had not arrived, as it was a surprise party organi5ed by his nephew and another younger relative, !inda the &@ producer from !ondon. ? was still dodging the interview. "ne of the Cuban men <tall, slender but strong, reserved and between =)-0) years old> said that my attitude was the right one. 6is name was 6errera.

#am$n %randa

55

? was later told that he was eMuivalent to @ice-Ainister for tourism. &his can mean a lot or it can mean nothing. 3s he said nothing and was reserved, ? suspect it meant something. :e chatted cordially and he as8ed about my trip, so ? told him, heart thumping but voice level O P? did not come to impose my views on anyone but as ? consider myself to be a 9hombre libre; if ? am as8ed for my views ? will give them in as honest a man- ner as ? can.R 6e loo8ed at me steadily but in the bac8 of his eyes was something and then he mentioned, O PIou 8now, my father did business with your grandfather. :e are from %uaneR a town in Pinar del #io sometime rival to Aantua. Ay maternal grandfather is from there. :e chatted some more and he e'pressed the wish to travel with me to the province. 6e did not. Perhaps some day he might. &he party progressed as such things do and apart from Carlos being up to his usual mischief there was only one other incident to report. ? mistoo8 a security agent, official liaison from the Cuban govern- ment to the trading family, for my host and than8ed him for his hospitality. 6e misunderstood me as well and as we were sitting ne't to each other, he put his arm around my shoulder as a friendly gesture. ? thought the

56

3 @isit to #eality

gesture e'cessive for a simple than8 you but as ? am po- lite, said nothing for the minute or two that the gesture lasted. 2o enemies meet. ? did the &@ interview. ? got a tip from a businessperson who told me that ? could set ground rules and so ? did. ? could not be as8ed about anyone by name. &he in- terview had to be conducted in some place that was neutral. +o house should be shown in the picture. ? was concerned that the focus be on my words and not on other issues and very concerned that any repercussions not fall on anyone else and be limited to me. &hey met the rules and at a table in a garden with no building visible, the deed was done. ? am a bit dull-witted so ? figured out beforehand e'actly what ? wanted to say. ?t was my first and thus far only interview and ? was very nervous before and afterwards but not too much during. Carlos, sly mon8ey that he is, gave me a glass of wine for the nerves and eventually ? polished off the bottle and smo8ed throughout. &he report aired in Canada and in various 7uropean countries. ? have a copy of the report and of the unedited interview. &hough ? pic8 my ris8s, ? do spea8 in the same way in Cuba and in Aiami. ? am a free man. ?t was a great relief and that 2aturday night ? accom- panied my friend 3mado as he entertained potential investors. "ne of them was a %erman42panish aristo- crat who gave me the tip about the ground rules and ?

#am$n %randa

57

learned a great deal about my country by seeing it from his perspective. 7ventually we ended up at a dance hall called 9!a Casa de la AVsica; where the crowd was at least /)W Cuban of all tones but mostly blac8. &he energy level was astounding. ? rela'ed, dran8, and was sweaty. ? went to Hoin a group of dancing girls and spo8e to one whom ? will call 9!a Cella %ladys;. ? loo8 li8e everyone else and she did not believe me that ? was from outside and accused me of being a PguaHiro from Pinar del #ioR. 7cstasy, Hoy, bliss. 3 level playing field and ? was being Hudged on merit. ? danced with wild abandon. +% !a Canda <+% means +ew %eneration> is the best and hottest salsa band ? have ever e'peri- enced and when the girls dance 9&embleMue; the man is dead who does not respond. ? have never in all my life been as happy as when ? was called a PguaHiro from Pinar del #ioR in 6avana on a 2aturday night. 3ll of my family in Aiami had been firmly opposed to my going to Cuba. "n the other hand, ? have never received so many calls from them as when ? was in 6a- vana. Ay mother and brother who support me in every- thing ? do would call me directly. Ay aunts and cousins from my father;s side would call my brother for news and then he would conference call me <how families wor8, or not>. Ay family all had reMuests for people and property ? should see. ? complied with all reMuests as regards the living. "ne of my cousins as8ed me to go see Bulia Airanda,

58

3 @isit to #eality

an elderly blac8 woman who had been the coo8 in my aunt and uncle;s house. Ay cousin also told me that Bulia did not 8now of the deaths of my father, grandfa- ther, aunt, uncles and others and that she would leave it to my discretion as to whether and how to inform her. Bulia lives in #egla and to get there is a lot of fun. ? went often. ?t is a wor8ing-class district on the other side of the bay of 6avana. Iou have to ta8e a waterbus similar to the @aporetto of @enice, from the port on the "ld 6a- vana side to get there. ?t is always crowded. ? noticed that there were usually two or three dogs <different ones each time> that regularly commuted from #egla, where they lived, to 6avana where they pursued their living and attended to their respective affairs in the city. &he dogs 8new their turn. &hey boarded the ferry after the people on foot and before the people with bicycles. +o one else seemed to notice but they were always al- lowed their place. ? met the old <over .)> warm, wonderful, and beautiful woman that is Bulia Airanda. :e cried over our dead, spo8e long and told stories. ? even e'pressed sympathy when she declared her outrage that beans were sell- ing at 1= pesos a pound. 6er granddaughter was an unemployed accountant and ? got her a little Hob inter- view in 6avana. Bulia;s father was born a slave into a branch of my pa-

Bulia Airanda

60

3 @isit to #eality

ternal grandmother;s family, the Gustes-Airanda. 2lav- ery was abolished in 1..1. Grom 1.F1, 1.2. slave-owners wanted to anne' Cuba and some Cuban slave-owners responded warmly. &his and the legacy of slavery taint 1.2.-Cuban relations to this day. ? remember as a child e'pressing some racist views and being corrected by my father and grandfather. Bulia told me stories about my grandparents. 2he went into their house when she was a child of about 11. 3c- cording to her, my grandfather #am$n used to say that he had four daughters. &hree X Bulia. "ne was an 9a5a- bache;, a multifaceted blac8 stone that is given or re- ceived with love. ?t is a talisman found on any Cuban baby;s charm bracelet or nec8lace. :hat he would buy for one, he would buy for four. Ay father and grandfa- ther supported Catista, who became a dictator and this was plainly wrong and brought tragic conseMuences. 6owever Catista was a man of color and so the charge of racism leveled against his government and its; mem- bers was plainly false. &he society did have problems and continued to do so both in Cuba and in e'ile. ?t is true that Catista as dictator was not allowed to Hoin the 6avana Iacht Club because of his color. 6e was mu- latto and indigenous Cuban. &here were small poc8ets of survivors in the 7ast where his family was from. "urs is an essentially 7uropean culture set to the pound- ing lyricism of the 3fro-Cuban in music and art. "ur

!a !anchita de #egla

!anchita ??

#am$n %randa

0* people are 3fricanN Ioruba and Congo. 3ll Cubans eat Ioruba food, spea8 Ioruba words, and dance to Ioruba rhythms. &his is Cuba. Pre-revolutionary racism was restricted to social clubs and beaches but did not apply as forcefully to government, business, press, or the arts. ?t is true that /)W of all Cuban e'iles are white but in the 1/0);s, blac8s would not have been welcome in the 1nited 2tates nor anywhere else they would have wanted to go. Cy the way the #evolutionary govern- ment people have all been almost e'clusively lily-white and from the landowning class or upper bourgeoisie. %o figure. ? 8now because we are all related. &he right wing Congressman from Aiami, !incoln Dia5-Calart is the nephew of Gidel Castro and the son of the leader of the Catista Congress after the coup in 1/=2, brother- in-law to Gidel at the time. Perhaps they should all go on "prah and resolve their family sMuabble. ?;ll go with mine. ? heard from !inda, the &@ producer, one more time. 2he was furious with Carlos and their host was appalled. 3n important person had been to dinner. ?n Cuba that can only mean one of two people and it turned out to be U2, #aul Castro, head of the 3rmed Gorces. 7vidently, Carlos got drun8, berated U2 for his treatment of Cuban veterans of the 7thiopian and 3ngolan campaigns, in- sulted him for human rights abuses, and then went out dancing in 6avana. Carlos is always interesting. &hat is what ? had written while he was alive.

0F Iears afterward, his faced popped up on the &@ screen while a 90) Ainutes; reporter informed that their pro- ducer was dead. Carlos was 8illed on the 3fghan bor- der. !ater, assassins posing as Hournalists 8illed %eneral 3hmad 2hahAassoud. ?t was in preparation for the at- tac8s that unfolded on /411. Carlos was beautiful. 6e will linger for you as he does for me.

3 @isit to #eality

66

66

3 Pathway in ?sabel Aaria

CuyagualeHe #iver

Gield of %reen - Pinar del #io

68

3 @isit to #eality

#oad &rip. Ceer, %as, %oK ? got a lift to the district. Ay friend would drop me off. ? would spend five or si' days there and then figure my own way bac8. ?t went this way. ? had as8ed Bulito if he could drop me off. &he an- swer was yes and then he in turn as8ed if Camilo could come along as a second so that Bulito would not be alone on the way bac8. 2ure. &hen &ony Hoined us be- cause it loo8ed li8e fun and he wanted to buy some food in the country. Gour Cuban guys on a road trip, three from 6avana dropping off one from the province. +ormal. 7'cept we are all children of conflicts that began long before we were born and, as ? write these words, ? will turn *- years old in five days time. &hen, as ? review these words from my first trip, ten more years have passed. ? am the son of the late, great, playboy-politician of the Catista 7ra, 2ugar Candy de Aantua, #amonin %randa, 35VcarK 3 great dancer, a man of tremendous vitality, a source of Hoy that provided a river of Hobs and money to his people, then a stream, then a rivulet, then a few drops and then he died. Ay father, ? loved him so. Ay words are true but not the whole truth, ? 8now, but 8indly allow this moment for a son to present his father for the first time. Bulito was a military man and is the son and nephew of #evolutionary Ainisters of government. Camilo is a lawyer, marine biologist, enthusiast of Cuban music

#am$n %randa

0/ and is the son of the #evolutionary ?con, 7rnesto 9Che; %uevara. &ony is an electrician and a fun guy. Bulito, Camilo, and &ony grew up together and were friends. :e all went on a road trip because ? wanted to meet the family that ? had not 8nown e'isted. :e left 6avana at around 1) *) in the morning after first stopping to fill the tan8 with gas, drin8 our first beer of the day, and bring a few more for the road. Bulito and Camilo argued about the music, called each oth- er stubborn and then Camilo Hammed some hot Cuban music. 6e e'plained to me that it was called 9charan- ga;. &ony and ? settled in for the trip. ? was in the front seat. &hey 8new ? wanted to see everything. Bulito was driving the old, small, gasgu55ling, red !ada with heart. ? 8now what you are thin8ing and to argue political cor- rectness is to misunderstand. Camilo is garrulous, of stoc8y build and with a hearty Cuban manner that may mislead for he is very smart. 6e and Bulito bic8ered Hust as 3mado and ? do. &ony was laconic and very funny. "nce we got going, we settled into a rhythm. :e told stories, dran8, laughed, and stopped periodically to get out of the car, stretch and then piss by the side of the road. @ery satisfying. &hey tal8ed about their lives at school and military ser- vice in the countryside.:e had to e'plain controversies about music to each other for otherwise they were in-

70

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comprehensible. 7vidently, in Cuba it was once a very serious issue on whether or not you would listen to the music of Bose <Come "n Caby !ight Ay Gire> Geliciano. &o me, a minor pop-figure of the 0);s who plays and sings well but not someone to get e'cited about. &he story goes that Geliciano once played for a right wing audience in a !atin 3merican country and for this rea- son, the Cuban authorities banned his music. ? threw no stones for in my own glass house of Aiami ? have had to witness the banning of a Puerto #ican 2alsa singer for even less with the additional insult of bomb threats placed against him and any establishment that would host him. &he ire and banning was for befriending a Cu- ban salsa singer whose politics few in Aiami care for or in Cuba for that matter. Gurthermore, there was a real bomb placed at Buanito;s Centro @asco, a club4res- taurant that subseMuently closed. Buanito had always been a real friend to everyone. &he bomb was merely for showcasing an aging Cuban actress from the island. ? respect and indeed defend the right of anyone to thin8 and spea8 for themselves but sometimes it is mere- ly good manners on my part and nothing else. Cy the way, %loria 7stefan, :illy Chirino, and Celia Cru5 are all very popular in Cuba though the general view is that :illy and Celia are more Cuban and thus better. 3ny- way, on to se'. :e told stories about the general level of horniness in our respective schools and they told me anecdotes

!a Carreta

72

3 @isit to #eality

about recruits. &he 6avana boys all displayed the usual preHudice and fear of city people for country people. &hey thought and told me emphatically that ? was cra5y to be going to a place ? did not 8now, to meet people ? did not 8now, on my own and without an assured means of getting bac8 and with little money. 3hh, what do they 8nowQ 6owever, they did ma8e me a little nervous. &herefore, ? dran8 less and 8ept my wits. :e all howled with laughter at stories about recruits and guaHiros hav- ing se' with chic8ens, pigs, mares, and whatever else was available. &hey are old stories and Ho8es. ? had heard the same from my father and his friends. 3t some point on the highway between 6avana and the provincial capital of Pinar del #io <the town and the province have the same name> my view of them changed. &hey were friends. ? felt compassion for Camilo. 6is fa- ther was hunted down and 8illed in Colivia when Cami- lo was a very small child. 6e never 8new himN at least ? 8new mine. 3s ? write these words, ? also remember that Camilo;s father;s men e'ecuted the father of my lifelong friend, Carolina Puig, when she also was a very small child. ? felt that Catista supporters spar8ed these conflicts. ? will never be in sympathy with the political values and actions of Che %uevara for ? believe that if he had control of the missiles during the crisis, he would have launched them. ? also recogni5e that he is part of our history and that he has been dead for more than *) years. Camilo and ? did not discuss these things but

#am$n %randa perhaps some day we might as friends.

-*

:e too8 a brea8 and stopped at the Pinar del #io 6otel. ?t is at the entrance to the town and across from the 1niversity. :e went to the poolside to chec8 out the local action. &here was not much. &here was a couple of billiard tables ne't to the bar, a few men were play- ing, a few others were watching without much interest and a few others were milling about. Ausic came from a Hu8ebo' and a scratchy P3 system. ? had another beer. "ne fellow recogni5ed Camilo and Bulito from their schooldays together. ?t turned out he had been stuc8 in Pinar del #io for sev- eral days. 6e had been driving some visitors when a part failed in his car. &he visitors moved on with some- one else and he was left with a bro8en car, no visitors, and thus no wor8. ?t is a common occurrence and in this crowd, everyday is an adventure, a struggle, for the way in which they, the companion from school and others li8e him, earn their living, has tacit but not legal approval. &here are laws for everything. 2ometimes the laws are changed to permit the activity and sometimes the laws are enforced. 2urvival strictly within the rules and strictly within the system is not possible. +ot even communist party members can do it without living in misery. &his is, of course, Hust my impression based on my observations at the time ? was there. ?t is an indication of the dynamics involved in change. Ay understanding

!a #eal street - Pinar del #io

3braham Pere5 6ouse

76

3 @isit to #eality

is that the situation is changing greatly every si' months or so and that this has been going on for some years but is speeding up now. :e left the hotel, made a couple of wrong turns, and as8ed several people for directions out of town and for the road to Aantua. "n one occasion, ? as8ed half- heartedly and sheepishly for a neighborhood in Pinar del #io named after my great-grandfather 3braham Pere5, but the person did not 8now. Camilo said, O P3s8 the older ones.R

? did not but it was 8ind of him to suggest it. :e stopped at a clean, new Cupet gas station - pay in dollars. ? bought some bumper stic8ers because they were fun- ny, 9? !ove Pinar del #io;. :e were driving through the heart of tobacco country and passing through town after town li8e 2an Buan y Aartine5 that ? had heard of but only remembered by seeing the name. :e were 5ipping along on a high, country road. &he deep ditches down the sides are cov- ered in AarabV scrubs that have 2 and *-inch thorns that can shred tires. &he "' was une'pected. %reenery flashing, side roll left, bump, bump, bump down and through the ditch thin8ing vaguely 9hey, this is Hust li8e the wiesen;. +o one was hurt but we were

#am$n %randa

-stuc8 in a si'-foot deep ditch. &he "' loo8ed at us with an indifference that bordered on contempt and then moved away. 3 bus came along, the only one of its 8ind that ? saw in Cuba, stopped, people piled out, of- fered us a rope and with some sweat, a push from us, a pull from the bus and presto, we were out. Airaculously, the tires were undamaged. &ony drove for a while. 3t * *) in the afternoon or so, we pulled up to my destination, the 9&erminal de "mnibus; in Aantua, a station but no buses. ? had the name of a ta'i-driver, BoaMuin, who %ilberto the barber told me could sometimes be found there. &he ta'i-driver lived in Dimas, a village in the district, and usually wor8ed in 6avana. &here was no one there. Ay friends tried to convince me to go bac8 with them and ? said, O P+oR. &hey thought ? was cra5y but insisted on staying at least until the ta'i-driver was found. O P".D.R

:e found a countrywoman in the station. "ddly enough, her last name was Airanda and my friends teased me that she was my cousin. 2he may well have been for, as ? was later to learn from a local historian, the Airandas have been landowners in the district since before 1=.-, a legal document of that year mentions the heirs of Glorencio Airanda. ? am a descendant of

78

3 @isit to #eality

his and ? suspect that in one way or another half the district is as well. &otal population of the district is about 2=,))). 2o Cousin Airanda gets on the country grapevine and BoaMuin the ta'i-driver is found par8ed in front of the hospital - wherever that is, informed and in due time he showed up. Ay friends were still a bit wary about my adventure and before ? had a chance to e'plain my business, they Humped to it for me, harangued the ta'idriver, and told him that they would hold him respon- sible if anything happened to me. Country people are stubborn and do not li8e to be told their business but under Muestioning ? suspect that he got flustered and mentioned that he had to go to 6avana on 2unday <five days hence> and inadvertently Muoted a fare of TF) dollars. &hat too8 care of that problem. &he ride ta8es F to = hours and he later tried to raise the fare to T/) dollars but with no success. 6e may have been the only driver in the district but ? was the only customer. :hen my friends left, ? dic8ered with BoaMuin on prices and e'plained what ? 8new of my family. &he @illama- rins were distant relations and lived in Dimas. ? wanted to see Clanca, the sister of my 1ncle !uria <he is in fact a *rd or Fth cousin but all of my generation or younger call him 1ncle>. ? also wanted to meet the whole Gustes clan who are close relations but ? had no idea where they were or who they were. BoaMuin 8new. 6e drove

Cus 2tation in Aantua

80

3 @isit to #eality

to a house in Aantua and as8ed the people sitting on the front porch if they 8new where Aiguel Gustes was <eldest member of the clan>. &hey said he was in the country at his brother;s place in the village of AacuriHe. 3t the time, ? thought that was funny because the dis- trict is remote but evidently, even people in the boonies have places that they consider to be the boonies. ? said nothing. :e drove to an apartment building, a post-revolutionary concrete structure on the outs8irts of Aantua. BoaMuin wanted to change, shower at his sister-in-law;s before moving on. ? did not mind, as everything was interest- ing to me. :e went. 9!a Prieta; a handsome woman in her late =);s, was moved when she found out who ? was. 2he made me some coffee and her 2)-year-old son 8ept grinning at me as he hauled up sac8s of rice with a pulley up to the balcony and then stac8ed them in another room. :hen 9!a Prieta; heard me say, O PCuba es bellaR, tears formed in her eyes and she handed me the coffee with great tenderness. ? found out in Aiami that she had been a sweetheart of my father;s, if ? had 8nown at the time ? would have given her a hug and made her cry for real but as it was ? did give her a 8iss on the chee8 when ? said goodbye. ? thin8 ? was still a bit tipsy. :ithout undue haste, BoaMuin finished his 9toilette; as befits a man of his station and

#am$n %randa

81

indicated that he was willing to leave. 6e gave instruc- tions to his nephew to put gas in the car. &he young man went and did as told by emptying two plastic =- gallon containers of fuel into the vehicle. Cefore we left, he gave me one last grin and ? waved. &he district, 9Aunicipio; in 2panish, is eMuivalent to a rural county in the 1nited 2tates. Aantua is the county seat with a pop. 1)-1=,))), Dimas is a village by the sea pop- ulation 1=)) about *)-F) 8ilometers to the northwest of the main town, and AacuriHe is a small village pop. =)), a further 1) 8ilometers to the north4northeast of Dimas. ?t was still daylight. "nce we were underway BoaMuin suggested that we continue past Dimas and go first to AacuriHe, meet the Gustes there and then return to Dimas to stay at Clanca;s house <uninvited and unan- nounced but ? had ascertained from him that there was room>. ? agreed. Ay perceptions of BoaMuin the ta'i-driver were many, varied, colored by sincere emotions as well as fear and distrust. Ay view evolved during my short trip and continued to do so over these many months since. 6e is a communist and droned on about how people did not understand 9the special period;, the changes brought about in Cuba by the disappearance of the socialist bloc8, and the grand scheme of the authorities in deal- ing with it. ? let him spea8 and then as some comment

#esidential street in Aantua

#am$n %randa

83

seemed to be reMuired from me, ? mentioned that ? had respect for any who had sincere values and applied them but ? had and have only contempt for those who sang one tune in Cuba and then an altogether differ- ent one in Aiami. &here are many. &his ended the politi- cal discussion and we were Muiet for a while. Periodically he would stop in the road, individuals would come up to whisper in his ear, and at one time, he stopped to give a lift to a mother and child. 6e e'- plained that he could not do it for everyone but if it was someone close, he did. ? li8ed him for that but disli8ed him for the other. 6e was deferred to in a way that only comes from political power. BoaMuin was stoc8y, heavyset, had a slow, deliberate manner, dar8 hair and light eyes. 6e drove in e'actly the manner that ? li8e. 6e adHusted to the terrain that he 8new well and provided a smooth, steady progress. 6e was =2 years old when ? met him and thus would have been 1= years old at the time of the #evolution. 6e was a mine of information about my family and we conversed. 3 short while after the for8 in the road, left goes to Dimas, we continued on the right side and main road that goes to AacuriHe, BoaMuin pointed to a long row, it seemed 8ilometers long, of pine trees on the left and said O P&hat;s @aronaR. 9@arona; was my grandfather;s main estate. 6e had two othersN a small one in AacuriHe

84

3 @isit to #eality

and a retreat in the hills called 9!a Bocuma;. ? believe ? understood BoaMuin to say that 9@arona; had three 8ilometers of beachfront. &he total acreage for all three properties was about -,))) acres. ?n conversation, no more lectures, BoaMuin spo8e of the things that he considered the #evolution had accomplished. Gree access to health care was one and ? as8ed what the system had been in my grandfather;s day. 6e e'plained that those who could not afford healthcare on their own had to apply to my grandfather for authori5ation. 6e would sign a slip of paper for medicine, doctor;s visits, or hospital stay. ? as8ed if my grandfather had ever refused anyone. ? wanted to 8now. O P+oR. Ay grandfather never refused anyone. 6e signed every reMuest and he had power for years. BoaMuin then spo8e of the e'pansion of the national electrical grid to include places li8e Dimas and Aac- uriHe. &his was true but he did not mention the outages or the fact that my grandfather first brought electricity to those places. 6e did so by installing small electrical plants that serviced the respective communities on a continuing basis. 2hortages are so common now that many villagers have replaced their old electrical coo8- ing ranges with even older charcoal burning stoves. ?n the country, nothing is thrown away. &hey were stored in barns. &he charcoal they ma8e themselves. &he man

Gustes 6ouse in AacuriHe

86

3 @isit to #eality

who replaced us tried another tac8. 3s we were approaching our destination, we stopped again for some- one to whisper in his ear. ?t was BoaMuin;s cousin. 6e is a doctor in the village. &here is a small, new clinic. ?t is clean and well run but supplies are e'tremely short. BoaMuin pointed out that education was free which is not true as you repay it in service, and that it was a mar8 of progress that his cousin, a peasant, could become a doctor <patronage by BoaMuin>. ? never argued but ? did chec8 up. &he other doctor in the village was e'cellent but BoaMuin;s cousin was a scruffy, unshaven, peasant who felt protected and the general view in the village was that to fall into his hands was to fall into danger. &he doctor who too8 care of us in Aiami when ? was growing up was put through 1niversity by my grandfa- ther. Dr. Gernande5, as a sign of his gratitude, never ever charged us. Ay grandfather;s lifelong best friend was a Doctor from the countryside, Dr. &errada. Ay displeasure with BoaMuin built up slowly. ? renounced any claim ? might have had to my grandfather;s prop- erty when ? was an adolescent. ? did so first, in order to have a life enHoying the opportunities of a wider world, and then for peace. ? spea8 only for myself. ? do not give it much importance and so if anyone as8s ? am unbothered to say it and may well have mentioned it to BoaMuin during the ride. ? did feel a tinge of some-

#am$n %randa

.thing as we passed it though. ?t is beautiful. 6e also pointed out many sites and houses and gave me a good feel for the history of the place. :e pulled up to a house on the remains of a paved driveway ne't to a short stretch of sidewal8 built in more optimistic times. &he house was a bit ramshac8le in appearance, wood frame with galvani5ed metal roof but well cared for and set on a high, concrete foundation with steps leading up to a porch enclosed by a balus- trade. Palms and crocus bushes were planted in front. ? stepped bac8 to the road to ta8e a picture and caught by chance my cousin Aiguel as he was wal8ing at a distance towards me from the bac8 of the house. ? did not 8now anyone so ? was letting BoaMuin do the an- nouncing. Aiguel Gustes was in his late 0);s with a gaunt face, long bones, lan8y frame and when he grinned <often>, he was delightful. &here was some momentary confusion as to my identity. :hen it was clear, his face e'ploded with Hoy and we were in the fierce, warm embrace of family. %ood news is shared and soon there were peo- ple around me being introduced. Aiguel wanted me to stay there but ? said ? already had obligations in Dimas <fib but ? wanted to see everything and ta8e pictures of the @illamarins for my 1ncle !uria>. :e did however ma8e plans and then carried them out. &hat :ednes- day night ? would spend in Dimas. ?t was December

88

3 @isit to #eality

F, 1//0. &he ne't day and part of Griday in AacuriHe. &hen Aantua for two nights. 2unday ? would return to 6avana. 3s it was getting dar8, we did not stay long and were soon on the road to Dimas. BoaMuin had suggested that we ma8e an arrangement for him to stay with me throughout but ? declined because ? wanted neither the e'pense nor the bother and opted instead for contract- ing short hauls at set times. :e arrived in Dimas at night. &he @illamarin house is the first on the right as you enter the very small town. ?t is built on traditional country linesN wood frame and with a high roof of interwoven and overlapping palm fronds. Iou enter into the living room, bedrooms to the sides, then towards the bac8 is the dining room and furthest away, often in a separate section, is the 8itchen. 9Co- hLos; are a pre-Columbian style. &hey are a legacy of the people who were before. BoaMuin had to go to another house and get someone else to be intermediary and announce me as he once had a fling with a daughter of the house. +ow in her F);s. Clanca, in her .);s, does not allow him to enter. :e had already agreed that he would pic8 me up the ne't morning at - *) a.m., and drop me off in AacuriHe. Clanca too8 me right in without hesitation and in the

Dimas

90

3 @isit to #eality

most natural manner. 2he ascertained that ? had not eaten. 2he pointed out where ? could wash up outside while she prepared some food for me. ?t was a simple meal. ? was grateful for it. 2he even apologi5ed for the simplicity, imagine, and let me 8now that this was due to the late hour <noted>. "ne of the sons Hoined me for the meal. 6e was a shy, curious, rustic at least a foot and a half shorter than me. 6owever, he was very strong and with the surprisingly common blue eyes of the district. 3fterwards, we all retired to roc8ing chairs in the par- lor and conversation. 3s word spread, people would come in and others would drift out. :e were never less than four or more than seven. ? have a blood type that attracts mosMuitoes. ? was sitting in a roc8ing chair made of thin rubber tubes stretched hori5ontally. ? was wearing a light shirt. &he nature of the chair turned my lower bac8 into long, buffet lines of all you can eat, for what felt li8e, every mosMuito in Di- mas. +oseeums Hoined in, 9HeHEn; in 2panish. ? said noth- ing and conversed on other matters. Gor two hours. Gi- nally, it was very late, there were few people left, and my bac8 was in agony. &he welts lasted for wee8s. ? e'cused myself by saying ? wanted to ta8e a wal8 and smo8e a cigarette. Ay dinner companion Hoined me as tour guide. &he nights in Cuba are ama5ing. :e wal8ed carefully down the very long, main street of the little town by the

#am$n %randa

91

sea. 3t the 9bodega; <store4cafe>, a few men were sit- ting around, drin8ing, playing chess, and tal8ing horses, sports, and women. &he small area around the bodega had lights and made an attractive scene in the pitch- blac8 night and under the canopy of stars. :e passed unperceived in the dar8. Ay companion, a distant rela- tion but family nonetheless, pointed out sites to me that ? had e'pressed interest in and wanted to photograph the ne't day. :e had a pleasant, Muiet time together and then returned to the house. 3 bed had been pre- pared and ? slept for the first time under a mosMuito net. ?t is the norm in the countryside. &he moment ? touched the pillow ? fell into a deep sleep and wo8e up the ne't day at dawn. ?t was 0 )) a.m. 3nd ? was the last one up. ? have morning habits. Cuban coffee first <same as everyone else - no problem>. ? wal8 barefoot in the house, a habit that in 6avana was viewed as strange but in the countryside, it was viewed with horror. ? adHusted but in Dimas, the slippers were half the si5e of my foot - picture and laugh. ? bathe in the morning. ?n Cuba, the norm is to bathe at the end of the day and before the eve- ning meal. ?t is healthier and more hygienic. ?t was very cold. ? showered in the country shower located outside, made of wood, and divided into two sections one for men and the other for women. &he doors cover the tor- so. &he small spigot is connected to a tan8 of rainwater and gravity provides the only pressure. ? have anoth-

92

3 @isit to #eality

er morning habitN coffee, cigarette and toilet. 2ilence please and respect for the procedure. ? got one loo8 at the outhouse and the neatly cut sMuares of %ranma newspaper, unofficial motto - the paper that irritates you twice, once when you read it and once when you wipe, and loc8ed up li8e a ban8 vault. +o doubt, this contributed, politics aside, to my annoyance with Boa- Muin for he showed up an hour early, hon8ing his horn, and wanting me to rush. &hat does not wor8 for me. ? had the message conveyed that we had contracted for - *) a.m. 3nd not before. ?n addition, ? wanted to ta8e photographs. ? would do so on foot so therefore his services were not reMuired. 6e could 8indly return at the appointed time. 6e accepted. &he family rallied nicely to this firm stand. ? had arrived as a stranger but was leaving as a champion of family honor. ? finished dressing and then raced to get everything done. 3t the entrance to the town, ? too8 a photograph of the sign, house in bac8ground and herd of goats in foreground. &hen street scene of downtown DimasN houses, morning light, o'-cart hauling refuse, old man in suit and straw hat and people going to wor8. &he 2ocial Circle, a community center built by my grand- father. Ay aunt built the Church. Ay grandfather built the two-story school. ? did not ma8e it to the port and was not able to see or photograph the houses built by my grandfather for the fishermen. ? did not ma8e it to the cemetery. ? returned to the house, managed a last

#am$n %randa

93

family portrait, and then was ready and waiting at pre- cisely - *) a.m. :e traveled on the road built by my un- cle, with contract arranged by my father. "nwards to AacuriHe. ? have subseMuently learned that the school ? too8 pictures of was post-revolutionary and replaced an earlier structure. Ay impression that it was built by my grandfather was mista8en. &he stories of what was built by whom and when are sometimes ha5y memories of stories heard in childhood.

Dimas by the 2ea

Dimas school

Clanca and family

#am$n %randa

97

2hortly after my arrival in AacuriHe the word Muic8ly spread that, the son of #amonin %randa had arrived to reclaim family lands. :hen they found out it was not true even the #evolutionaries loo8ed a bit disappoint- ed. Cousin Aiguel wanted us to ride horses and thus give me a tour of the area but unfortunately, ? do not ride. ? 8now, but ? can snow s8i. 2o instead, we wal8ed a couple of houses over, to meet his nephew <mid-F);s>, my cousin Aanolin Gustes, who was polite to me and formal. :e spo8e for a few minutes but something was bothering him and finally he told me. O P:e;re family,R he said. O P6ow come no one has contacted us for all these yearsQ &hat;s not right. :e are family.R 6e had a point but ? e'plained that the two remaining relatives, my elderly aunts, had only lived in the countryside in their early youth, married into strong families in 6avana and that e'ile had also brought them other concerns. &his got nowhere. 2o instead ? opted for the truth and straight out. ? told him, O P? had no idea that you e'isted. ? found out by chance in 6avana and as soon as ? found out, ? started trying to find a way to get here. :e are family and here ? am.R

99

99

Aanolin Gus les

#am$n %randa

99

&he truth is hard but Aanolin too8 it well. ? was invited to lunch later at his house. ?t was still early morning. 6e lives in Aiami now <2))0>. &he lunch started a competition among the three branches of Gustes family in AacuriHe as to who could feed me most. &he Gustes are a proud family and ? 8new that my grandfather had gotten his start as a landown- er in the district by marrying my grandmother Carmela GustesAiranda in 1/1/. 3buelo #am$n was an itiner- ant vendor when he courted my grandmother. 6e was always neatly dressed. 6e would hold his legs out from the sides of the mule so as not to lose the shine on his shoes. 6e started wor8ing at nine years old cleaning bottles at his father;s bodega in 2an Cayetano. &he land in Cuba has te'tureN hills, valleys, mountains. 2oaring royal palms grow everywhere and the s8y is e'pansive. &he earth in the province is many shades of red and sandy in other parts. &his allows for the cultivation, in their respective areas ofN rice, tobacco, vegetables, fruit, coffee and the raising of cattle. :hen ? was there the rice harvest was finishing. &he harvested grains were drying on plastic sheets in the sun. &hen once dry were dehus8ed by milling machines and stored in sac8s. ?n the special period, the government has allowed farmers some leeway in administering their own affairs. 6avana even returned some land that was previously confiscat- ed. ?n general, decisions as to what to plant, where

#ed 7arth - Pinar del #io

2an Carlos

!andscape 2umidero

#am$n %randa

1)* and when are determined centrally by bureaucrats in 6avana. &he orders are handed down to the provinces, then the districts, then the villages and finally down to the individual farmer, who is stubborn and irrespective of particular political belief, many are pro-revolution, still moves or wants to move to the rhythms and values of centuries of living on the land. Cureaucrats in 6avana or wannabe;s in Aiami do not have a clue. 3fter meeting Aanolin, Aiguel too8 me to meet the three 3rnaldos at the house where ? was told my father was born. :e wal8ed down a dip and then up, across the main road, and up a long hill itself with falls and rises to a plateau where the house is located. &he country trac8s are heavily eroded by the rains but the vegeta- tion in places untrod is profuse. ?n a sense, everything was new to me and ? was on occasion aw8ward and emotionally conflicted but in another sense, ? was re- awa8ening and applying very deep connections and understanding. &he family connections usually hap- pened very Muic8ly even though ? never really sorted out all the names and relationships and had a Hob Hust to Hot down the main ones. ?f ? do not write down a name, ? forget it the moment ?;m told. &here was an- other complication. ?t is still a very traditional society and apart from the houses where ? stayed and had time to figure things out, ? never really 8new who the women were. &hey would be presented by first name and oc- casionally by relationship, wife, mother, etc. but mostly

AacuriHe

&he &hree 3rnaldos

106

3 @isit to #eality

would Hoin in conversation or not and go about their business without enlightening me as to who they were. &here was a regular flow of traffic. !ater in Pinar del #io and 6avana, after ? got the swing of the thing, ? would march right in, announce myself, collect the relatives, ta8e their picture, names, relationships, accept a bite, Hoin in the chatter and leave. ? li8ed 3rnaldo Gustes right away. 6e is a handsome man <0);s> of rustic dignity. 6e has a warm manner and a sly sense of humor evident in his blue eyes. 6e was honest about family matters. "n one occasion, he was hand- ing me a 9chinguirito;, a rural coc8tail made of moon- shine, a sMuee5e of whatever citrus is available and a spoonful of brown sugar, and let me 8now with a serious face that the citrus li8ely had worms in it and was the reason everyone around there had worms. ? laughed and dran8. ? should be as healthy as they are. &here are no bacteria, germ, or creature that could survive contact with that moonshine. ?t could strip the enamel off your teeth. :e understood each other and the more we got to 8now each other <slowly> the better we got to li8e each other. ? spent part of the day with him as he went about his chores and was able to get a sense of the networ8 of relationships in the country, the poorer farmers would bring their rice for him to mill as he had a machine, as well as a sense for the rhythms of country life. 6is son is a teacher in the village primary school. 6is grandson of / or 1) could recite 9dEcimas;, a traditional

#am$n %randa

1)form of poetry that is still very popular in the countryside and is used to commemorate events or spread news, of the most decorative and instructive 8ind. +aturally, when the men were alone, women smiling on from be- hind the door, little 3rnaldo would recite all the naughty ones, filthy and very funny in his singsong voice. &eacher 3rnaldo had a mass of pencils in his hand that were for his class. ? was struc8 by them. &hey were of traditional manufactureN hand made of wood and pro- duced in the country. ? traded him a ballpoint pen for a pencil. ? always have it with me as a reminder. &he e'act order of events at this distance evades me but my one night in AacuriHe did involve a crisis of con- science. 7ven though much of my time was devoted to family and was guided by family, ? still wanted to meet others. ? did. ?n the natural order of things managed to get away on my own. ? wal8ed a few 8ilometers bac8 up the road and wandered the outs8irts of 9@arona;. &he ground was marshy and drainage ditches were poorly maintained. Auch of the land was overrun by AarabV scrub. ? already 8new that material resources were scarcer than they used to be. ?n the valley of Aa- curiHe, %ramps smaller ranch, there were no cattle. ? saw no Yebu cattle anywhere, the longlegged, flop- py eared, grey-white beef cattle that were the ideal breed for the tropics. #esources used to be lavished on the breeding of a herd and it was the pursuit of million-

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aires. &he saying goes that a rancher is someone who lives poor and dies rich. ?t was an obsessive pursuit and former breeders <mostly in e'ile> mourn the loss of the herds more than loss of wealth or position. &he current leader of the Cuban state reflects all the preHudices of his class, landowning gentry, in his pursuits as he fancies himself a breeder but none of the abilities in his results. 7'cept in politics where near every one of his class and bac8ground wants to be President and he has made himself so for life. "n my way bac8 from 9@arona;, ? ran into Borge. 6is friends call him &oledo. 6e was wor8ing in the hot sun with a machete clearing a small piece of land by the side of the road. :e e'changed greetings and then as a brea8 seemed welcome, entered into conversation. 6e was a young farmer <2);s> who had recently moved to the district. 6is wife was from there and she missed her family. 6e invited me to his house for a coffee and ? accepted. &he province is famous for her hospitality and this is another legacy of the people from before and is demonstrated most by those who have least. "n the way up the hill to his house, he called to his wife, at another house, and as8ed her to borrow a bit of pow- der and to bring the machine. &he house was new built of wood frame, galvani5ed metal roof, and dirt floor. 7verything was crafted with great care and maintained with e'traordinary neatness.

&oledo and family

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&his is noteworthy even though the norm in the countryside is already a level of cleanliness - of hygiene- that is very high and should not be confused with their auster- ity of material resources - another matter altogether. :e chatted, dran8 coffee <his>, smo8ed cigarettes <mine>, and told stories. 6e was from a town in the hills near @iales as was my grandfather. 6e had done his military service as a coo8 <which reminded me of our Cuban neighbor;s eldest son when ? was growing up in Aiami who was drafted into the 1.2. 3rmy, served as a coo8 and was 8illed in @ietnam>. 3fter &oledo finished his service, he married his wife. 6e is white and she is blac8. ?n the course of time, they had their daughter, a very cute * year old, and moved to AacuriHe. &he color thing reminds me of Aarilyn, a friend of mine in 6avana. 6er sister is %race and both are named after 3merican movie stars. Aarilyn says O PAy father is blonde, my mother is blac8, and so ? am beige and beige, darling, goes with everything.R ? li8ed &oledo and his family. ? said goodbye and then later tried to see about finding some cement. 6e did not as8 and it was not charity as he certainly did not need it - it was personal and the gesture would have been as a friend. &here was none available in the village. &he clos- est place to get some would be in the provincial capital, and then there would be the problem of transportation.

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? was further advised that as a foreigner it might cause resentment among local officials. ?n order to do it right ? would have to get permission from 6avana. 2wing and a miss for that visit. ? gave nothing to any of my relatives in the district e'cept contact and affection. &hat was fine with them. :al8ing bac8 from &oledo;s ? was stopped at another house and invited to sit on the front porch and chat. 2he was a young mother and her child was a toddler. 6er father and three other men, brothers or other rela- tion - no clue as they did not spea8 but only listened- Muic8ly Hoined us. &hey were drin8ing from a very small bottle with clear liMuid and ? as8ed if it was water. ?t was not but the daughter provided me with a glass of water. &hey offered me a shot of 9aguardiente; firewater moon- shine, and ? accepted. ? inMuired as to where they got it from and they pointed across the street. ? gave her a few buc8s, enough to buy a case, and as8ed her to get another bottle. 2he came bac8 with a 2-litre monster. :e dran8. Gortunately, ? have e'tensive e'perience in handling shots, schnapps in Cavaria, vod8a at +i8ita;s in !ondon, grappa on the 3malfi coast, C-=2;s in 2outh Ceach and Hello shots at parties everywhere. ?t was my first e'perience drin8ing moonshine straight up and the tric8 ? found was not to let it touch your teeth. 2o there ? was Hammin; with my homies in AacuriHe. Cousin Aano- lin rides by on horsebac8, sees me doing my thing, and gets a big, old grin on his face as he trots by Hauntily.

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2core one for reconciliation. !uis 3ntonio, the father, was a F.-year-old 9campesino; who had lived all his life in the village. 6e said he was a revolutionary, to be distinguished from a communist. 6e was 11 years old the last time my family name was part of public life in the district. 6e 8new of us and as we spo8e, he remembered Muite a lot of things. 6e had no shoes but rather an upper and lower portion held together with twine. 6e complained of it but ? made no comment. ?nstead, ? bought the bottle and we spent a little time together. 6is family had no connection to mine but he 8new of others that had wor8ed for my grandfather and in his view, we had done right by them. P!os %randas sirvenR he repeated with emphasis and mentioned that he was willing to tell that to anybodyN perhaps he will have his opportunity. !uis 3ntonio also remembered some 9dEcimas; cel- ebrating political banMuets my grandfather gave in the district. ? wrote down two of them. Ay family nev- er put their name on anything, school, church, road, par8, monument, etc. but %ramps would have payed the poet. ?t was commissioned wor8. ?n e'ile, my 3unt Aaruca used to run 97l Aunicipio de Aantua 7n 7l 7'ilio; and organi5ed the annual parties as well as published the tabloid maga5ine 97l Aantuano;. ?t would be full of family pictures and family names - hence the fam- ily style - public wor8s are for the community but po-

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ems and press are for promotion. &he one year that my father organi5ed the party, in 1/-., more than a thou- sand people attended. ?t was held at the Gour 3mbas- sadors 6otel in Aiami and one of the bands was Aiami 2ound Aachine with %loria 7stefan. &he parties varied in Muality, many were attended more from a sense of duty than anything else, and ? was often timid about dancing with the dauntingly stout, mustachioed, young country lasses fed on 3merican bounty. ? told the boys about it in the car ride from 6avana to Aantua. :e had made a small dent in the bottle. ? left !uis 3nto- nio and his family returning to @icente;s house, Aiguel;s brother, to Hoin Certa, @icente;s wife, on the porch. 3 steady stream of people came by including the local of- ficial who runs the government store, nothing available. 6e was pleasant. &he e'cellent Doctor also came by. Certa was telling me that it was a shame that ? would not get to meet her son Aartin, a very bright electrical engineer who lives in 6avana with his wife and child. +aturally, an hour or so later my cousin Aartin showed up after a --hour odyssey. 6e hitched three rides and the last was in the bac8 pen of an open truc8. 6e had ta8en advantage of a Hust announced the previous night holiday that made it a long wee8end. Aartin has a good heart and ta8es care not only of his parents who are getting old, and ? may be wrong about Aiguel being the eldest, but of a great many family

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friends in the district. 6e had opinions and information on an even larger number of topics and a certain fam- ily resemblance in this curiosity about the world and its; wor8ings came through between him and me. :e presented a strange mirror to each other so naturally, we were together a lot, and in a marathon of tal8. 6e would outpace me. "n to the crisis. 3s you can imagineN the condition of former family property, the general condition of people in the district, the 8nowledge ? learned about my fam- ily past and present, the ongoing nature of our many disparate disputes and my own physical condition all added up to a great deal of emotional turmoil and frus- tration with everything that had happened. ?n the af- ternoon, the focus of my rage and distemper had been BoaMuin and the shop8eeper. &hey were not there. ? blamed them unreasonably, and ? felt for the first time blood lust and the urge to violence. &hat night, alone, ? had to deal with it. ? had also confirmed in passing and without comment that Cousin Aiguel and his brother @icente had been early supporters of the #evolution. Aiguel;s complaint had been -he lived in their house in 6avana- that my grandfather would not use political influence to benefit family members. ? told Aiguel that my grandfather was right and left it at that. "f course, my grandfather;s views did not apply to my father for my grandmother had altogether different ideas. 2he used to call my father her Prince. 2he told my grandfa-

Certa Gustes

Aartin and +eighbor

Aiguel Gusles

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ther that if a fool li8e him could be in Congress then so could her son. +o one stands up to a Cuban matriarch on family matters. ? was late getting into the bathroom. ?t was after dar8 and the lights went out. +ormal - hence the need to bathe while there is still light. ? was bathing from a buc8- et, use a big cup to get wet, soap up, use big cup to rinse. ? had to wait for a candle. +aturally, under those conditions, no time, ? was still loc8ed-up and had not gone to the toilet. &he meals included copious amounts of high fiber foods as well as a high fat content. &he local specialty was 9Aalanga 3marilla de AacuriHe; a yellow root vegeta- ble that is beyond high fiber and reputed to help po- tency. 3dd the combustive liMuids, the stresses of pace, emotions, and you can see how the distemper spread, the mood dar8ened and it became stormy weather. &hat afternoon, late, ? had even declaimed that ? would not have minded so much our losses if only conditions for the people had been better. ?t was noble of me but somewhat fatuous. ? maintained the delusion that a ta'i-driver and a shop8eeper had replaced us, vanity and not true, and all our weave of families. &hey are still there. &hat night was the only time that ? felt oppressed in Cuba. 3fter the evening meal, we all gathered in the liv-

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ing room to watch television. &he electricity came bac8 on. ?t was the first and only time ? watched &@ in Cuba. :e were Hoined by a village official, a thread of a man with no shoes Hust rubber flip-flops, whose habit is to Hoin the family in the evenings. 6e is a true believer. &he na- tional news came on and right away, ? was offended by the drivel. ?t started out with a heavy dose of Gidelvision and #aulorama. &here are only two channels in Cuba and my understanding is that they broadcast only in the evenings. &hen some aging cretin with a bad dye Hob that loo8ed li8e shoe polish applied to hair and mus- tache announced various triumphs unrelated to reality. 3fterwards a younger couple demonstrated the great triumph of the sugar industry by stic8ing a piece of sug- ar cane into a field. &he field was clearly chosen be- cause it was closest to the &@ studio. 7verything in Cuba was triumphant and then came news clips of the wider western world and it was heavy on natural disasters and accidents. &he news on 1.2. politics, cabinet shuffles in the administration, was straightforward and without editorial comment. &he &@ product has evidently been pretty much the same every day for *. years. ? recom- mend watching it at least once <good advice - pass it on> but on that occasion ? got huffy and left the room to smo8e a cigarette elsewhere. Ay act of lese-maHesty had the village official trembling with indignation. 6e got over it. &@ news is always a bit suspect. &he medium is eminently

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suitable to manipulation. Cecause of our disputes and minor foibles in our culture, Cuban news is often slanted. 3fter my return to Aiami, ? began to read, see, and lis- ten to e'ile media for the first time and the standard is not very high. "n channel 1-, ? watched one man, Per- e5-#oura, routinely ma8e the false charge of genocide. "n C-2pan, ? saw Congressman Dia5-Calart accuse 1.2. media of ignoring human rights violations in Cuba by detailing a long list of arrests of Hournalists and dissidents on the island. ? recogni5ed the names because the ar- rests were reported in the Aiami 6erald, which is li8ely where his staff got them in the first place. Dia5-Calart made his accusation on the floor of the 6ouse of #ep- resentatives. &he Congressman then wor8ed himself into the finger-waving rhetorical style. ?t is always a bullshit alert with Cuban politicians. Priests in the ruling class schools of Cuba taught the rhetorical flourish. ?t is the curse of Cuban politics. 6e then made the false charge of holocaust. &he overall Cuban population has grown more than -)W. ?t has more than doubled by some measures depending on what statistic is accepted for population in 1/=/. 2ome say it was 0 million but ? use the larger figure of . million. ?t has grown to 1= million, - 12 on the island and * outside. 7veryone, on the island and outside, has been very busy ma8ing babies. Carlos calculated that 12,=)) people were e'ecuted and a total of =F,))) have died due to political reasons in the *. years since

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the Cuban revolution triumphed. &hat number includes the e'ecuted and Cuban soldiers who died in 7thiopia and 3ngola. 3ctual numbers may be lower. 3 long time has passed. "f course, for family members and friends there is no time limit on pain. "nly compas- sion and respect should be shown to them. &he truth is bad enough. &he charge of genocide is shameful. Girst, because we are in a country and a city, Aiami, where there are survivors of the real thing and secondly because genocide did happen in Cuba five hundred years ago and the conseMuences of it are unac8nowl- edged. 3lternatively, 6istorian 6ugh &homas, in recent research, states that intermarriage was the 8ey factor in the disappearance of indigenous Cubans as something sepa- rate and not genocide. :e are they. &hey are we. 3nyway, bac8 to my crisis. ? had focused on the ta'i- driver and the shop8eeper because there were things ? did not want to ac8nowledge and ? was using them as scapegoats. Ay father and grandfather supported a dictatorship. :e did not respect the liberties of others and so we lost our own. Ay father;s election to Con- gress was illegitimate, even though the election was contested, because it was used as window-dressing to cover up a coup. &hese are the plain facts.

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BoaMuin of course did not replace my father, grandfa- ther, family, and weave of families. 6e really is an e'- cellent ta'idriver and you have no idea how rare that is. #ather my uncle by marriage Comandante Dermi- dio 7scalona replaced us. 6e is a veteran of the 2ierra Aaestra and was supreme military authority in the prov- ince for many years. 6e reported to Gidel. Ay mother married my father, her older sister married the Coman- dante, and her younger sister married my uncle, #aul Au'o who is a veteran of Crigade 2=)0, the invading side at Playa %ir$n also 8nown as the Cay of Pigs. ? had two uncles at the Cay of Pigs, one on the invading side and one on the defending side. 3fter the revolution my maternal grandfather, #afael Dia5 @eira 8nown as 9Car- taya; became a C?3 agent, as did another cousin in a separate conspiracy 3po, and another cousin on the same side of the family, !ombertico, 2enator Dia5;s son did three or four tours of duty in @ietnam. &he only death was a cousin, Aenelao Aora who was 8illed assaulting Catista;s Presidential Palace. &he Cold :ar was real. &here is more but ? will end by noting that the 7scalona children as well as my aunt are all living in Aiami. 2he was divorced the second time when my grandfather was caught. ? spotted two of my 7scalona cousins at their happiest. &hey were rollerblading in hot pants on "cean Drive in 2outh Ceach. ? made no effort nor had any interest in meeting the Comandante on my trip but ? really will tal8 to anybody about Cuba, even him. "n

#am$n %randa a later trip, we did meet.

123

3pparently, wrestling with the devil leaves one e'haust- ed for ? slept soundly. ? was told the ne't day that ? snored very loudly. Griday, December 0, 1//0 ? spent mostly in AacuriHe and in the late afternoon BoaMuin showed up to ta8e Cousin Aiguel and me to Aantua. Ay cousin as8ed me what the fare was and e'pressed outrage <to me> over the amount but settled in comfortably for the ride. 7arly that evening ? had the bathroom to myself and a Muiet house. ? had the most splendid shit of my life, even the inside of my ears felt clean. ? bathed with a buc8et and then clean, refreshed and feeling positively fris8y ? stepped out to do the social whirl in Aantua. &he town is very well maintained. &he grass along the whitewashed curbstones is 8ept as neat as a haircut by %ilberto. &he main streets are well provided with evenly spaced white concrete benches of a discreet height and style. &he century old houses are in remar8ably good condition considering the amount of wood used in their construction. 7very house has an ample front porch and each usually has its set of wooden roc8ing chairs. Paint is in short supply. &he houses mostly follow a pattern. &he sidewalls are concrete or stone and are load bearing. &he roofs are all of well-aged tile of a beautiful, deep, rich, and naturally varied burnt-earth color. &he interior ceilings are 1. to 2) feet high and the floors are made of mosaic tiles. &he traditional furniture

"n the porch with Buana Pere5

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is usually mahogany frame with a cane weave for freshness. &he houses are made to permit the circulation of air and do the Hob wonderfully. &he tight, neat appearance of the streets hide Hungle li8e gardens full of fruit trees, chic8en coops and li8e everywhere else, the odd pig or two. Cousin Aiguel had complained of the wave of criminality overta8ing the district by despairing that chic8en theft was occasion- ally a problem and even instances of pig theft were 8nown. Cousin Aiguel is not hip to the outside world but then the government does its best to ma8e up for the lac8 of crime. 2ecurity against the crime-wave 9Che5 Gustes; was provided in the form of a small, cute dog named 93trevido; who did not show its Hoy and spirit by wagging its tail but rather by Humping high in the air and frantically wagging its; entire body in a bold, intense display of canine feeling. &he social whirl began with a few sessions on the porch of Buana Pere5, an elderly matriarch who used to be host- ess to my grandfather in his visits to the town. 3gain a stream of people would come by and afterwards Aiguel too8 me to visit the Docal-Pelaye, the Cuni-%arcia, the Gors and a great number of other people whose names ? barely had time to hear much less record. &hat Griday evening we began slowly but on 2aturday, Aiguel got coo8ing and we did a marathon session of visits. 7very house we entered he would start the same,

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O P2ee if you can guess by his loo8 <pointing to me> who he isQR ?n AacuriHe, ? had been troubled and everything was new to me but in Aantua, ? was refreshed, feeling fris8y and ? had the swing of the thing so time after time peo- ple would say O P&he son of #amonin %randaR. 2ome would not even say it but would let a slow PcooR of wonder es- cape before catching me in a strong hug or sha8ing hands as if pumping water. 2omehow ? mentioned how well received ? had been in the province <hey - you;ve gotta wor8 it> and suddenly every house ? entered was offered to me. ?n Pinar del #io, they mean it. 3fter *) or so, ? stopped worrying about it. 3part from anything else and there is plenty, my Dad sowed a lot of Hoy and sometimes to be his son is a real 8ic8. Aiguel had as8ed if ? li8ed cigars and receiving an affirmative too8 me to the man who ma8es rustic cigars to sell to the locals. ? did not catch his name and his face but flashes in my memory and yet ? thin8 of him most every day. Ay appearance moved him deeply. 6e refused Aiguel;s money and gave me a mass of ci- gars. &he whole thing too8 but a moment. 6e cannot ma8e much and his life must be very difficult. ? would probably stay with him even though he did not offer and ? did not as8. ?f ? could, ? would Hust show up and we

#am$n %randa can figure it from there. ? li8ed him best but there were plenty of people to li8e. &oo is my friend.

127

3fter the cigars, came the baseball guy at a house down the road on the same street and on the way bac8 ? was presented to the local historian who was polite to me and ? to him. :hen he found out, ? had written two boo8s and one of them in @enice, his manner changed and ? was flattered but ? get ahead of the story. &hat was 2aturday. Griday night, Aiguel and ? had finished our first flurry of visits and were standing on the main street where it intersects with a side street on which is located the 1F room 6otel de Aantua. Ausic was coming from the hotel and young people were partying on the roof ter- race. ? was itching to get in there but politeness and gratitude to Aiguel 8ept me from it. &he truth is ? tried to get away twice and could not. &he 9Aalanga 3m- arilla de AacuriHe; must have done its; tric8 because ? was pawing the ground and my nostrils were flared. Ai- notaur in Aantua was postponed because of history, Cousin Aiguel, a meeting with a wise old man and the Muality of the nights in Cuba. Cy the way, if the money went to the farmers, Cuban 7'iles would pay more for A.3.d.A. than others pay for caviar. Creole rice, fresh from the field, would be treat- ed, the way Persian nobles do saffron, essential and

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pay any price for best Muality. Do not even thin8 about 9guayabitas del pinar; because unless you are born into the right families you can;t get any. &he nights. ? was away from the street lamps and loo8- ing down the side street. &he lights illuminated a small portion of the little town and from the rise where ? was standingN you could feel the curve of the earth, see the hori5on, and be aware that we live on a small planet adrift in the oceans of stars. Iou have to be in the in8y blac8 night with the warm, comforting air of the tropics loo8ing at all those stars, feel as a human, and not care that at best we are a spar8 that flies and dies as dust. Cousin Aiguel must have 8nown more than ? must because he intruded and too8 me to meet the wise old man. &he house was a few bloc8s away and we wal8ed carefully through the dar8ness, past the hotel, and be- yond. &he man was /F years old. ? had to thin8 about it, our meeting, and having done so, noticed, that he said very little, revealed nothing about himself and what he said coa'ed long, revealing answers from me about very important matters and that ? spo8e naturally. &o say little and coa' long, revealing answers without be- ing noticed is to be wise. :e spo8e of history, family, responsibility, culture, my trip thus far and of my plans. :hen we finished, another man who was there told me that the tas8 ? had set for

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myself was 6erculean. &his was irritating because ? hate to have the odds Muoted against me. Celieve me, any- one who ma8es a life in the arts 8nows how to calculate odds they are always against you until they are not and then you are busy doing something else. 3 note for Aantuanos, the wise old man, ? did not catch the name, is the father in law of 97l 3lcalde;. ? did learn something from the other man who was there. 7'iles communicate with their relatives and he told me that my 3unt Aaruca had helped hundreds of people get wor8 in the 1nited 2tates. ? did not 8now it was so many. Ay 3unt Aaruca devoted her entire life to the 9Auni- cipio de Aantua; and it was good to 8now that people there remembered her for it. 6er ashes will return with peace. "n the way bac8, ? did stop at the hotel and Aiguel had to climb the ric8ety ladder with me to the roof ter- race. &he crowd had thinned out. &he bar was only serving very small bottles of moonshine and they had no glasses. Cousin Aiguel was embarrassed by this and complained of it. ? did a Muic8 scan of who was left, figured my chance of fun nightlife accompanied by a religious family man who is a grandfather and gave it up as swing and a miss. Aiguel and ? had a couple of 9chinguiritos; at his house. 2aturday morning ? was up early, as ? wanted to ta8e some pictures of the town. ? had to be firm with Aiguel

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in order to go off alone. 6e pouted, which was sweet but ? was chasing the light, had to wor8 fast and ? find that when ? am focused other people are a distraction. ?t is called 9golden hour; but in fact the Muality of light ? was chasing usually lasts only a few minutes. ? was there, ? was on time but my attitude was wrong and ? missed it. People who ta8e pictures always tell me how much better they can do it than ? but people who li8e pictures always seem to respond to mine and praise me, which gives me an opportunity to be suitably modest. ? have a good eye but lac8 technical proficiency. ? have dis- cipline, and rarely ta8e more than one e'posure. ? feel ? cannot afford to waste a frame. !ate that afternoon wal8ing bac8 from my meditation at the monument, without haste or even loo8ing to catch it, ? stopped and too8 a picture of a field in a wider landscape and caught the light. Ay foray alone in the morning was only for an hour and after ? returned, Aiguel and ? stepped out to do our thing. Iou 8now the routine and ? will ta8e up from where ? met the historian. 6is name is 7nriMue Pertierra. :e were enthusiastic about our mutual discovery and showed it by e'changing years; worth of information in Muic8 conversation. :e were conversing in the street and left Aiguel to go to 7nriMue;s house and pour over maps on his 8itchen table. :e displaced his wife and baby from the 8itchen, then over coffee and cigarettes

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? gave him a few millennia of history in two or three minutes <the evolution of @enice>, and then together we discussed more recent centuries in greater detail. ? Muic8ly read and admired his monograph on the found- ing of Aantua. 3ccording to his original research, it was his view that ?talians founded Aantua, li8ely the survi- vors of a wrec8 of the brigantine ship 9Aantova; around 10)= to 101). 6e had been in touch with the historical society of Aantova in ?taly and they were correspond- ing on the matter. 7nriMue had as further evidence the fact that the patron saint of the province, 9!a @irgen de las +ieves;, was venerated only in Pinar del #io and in the area around Aantova in northern ?taly. ? responded immediately to his research and had a few things to say on how cultural identity is maintained and transmitted through religious symbols. ?t is a delicious irony of Cuban culture that we get a closer living lin8 to the !atins of antiMuity through blac8 Cubans <Ioruba> than we do from white Cubans. Catholicism and the feudal social structure tortured the !atin inheritance from 2pain. &he divinities of the 2anteria religion, usually described as 3frican religious values in the form of Cath- olic 2aints, correspond to the divinities of Aediterranean antiMuity. Chango, "chun and 2an !Z5aro correspond to Aars, @enus and Cacchus etc. &he visiting professor found my insights useful. 6e is preparing a paper on the matter. ? stretch a point because ? am mischievous but the common view on 2anteria did inform my Hudgment

Aantua Church

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in loo8ing at @enetian history and that was what ? discussed with 7nriMue. &he 6istorical 2ociety of Aantova had as8ed 7nriMue if there was any %on5aga connection to Aantua in Cuba. ?t was an opportunity that ? was well prepared for and ? too8 it fully <hey- you;ve gotta wor8 it>. &he %on5agas were the ruling ducal family of Aantova, which even- tually and for a long time formed part of the @enetian dominions. &he name %randa may somehow be de- rived from %on5aga even though all %randas seem to come from 3sturias in 2pain. 7nriMue had learned of a 2panish 3dmiral, Captain %eneral of the Aaritime Gorces, named 3ndrea %on5aga who served from 1=/= to 101) and ? told him to chec8 for a connection to 3s- turias. ? have subseMuently learned that %on5aga is a common name in 2ancti 2piritus and &rinidad, the oldest towns in Cuba. %randa also means small, roc8y plain in 3sturias. 3s an inside Ho8e <the @enetians were in on it> and a private conceit ? had given the principal character of my second boo8 the name 9%on5aga;. :hen ? first thought of it, my impression had been that the family was e'tinct but before ? wrote my boo8 ? learned otherwise. ? was told there was still a minor branch. ? decided to 8eep it anyway. 3fter ? wrote the boo8, ? found out even more.

1*F ? had a few days left in @enice and ? accepted an in- vitation to a christening party at a villa in the country- side. :ith my usual cluelessness fully at wor8, ? thought my hostess was an unwed mother. 2he was a friend of a friend and we had spo8en on the phone but never met. ? thought she was brave and so ? had accepted. ?t turned out she was a Duchess and her husband a Du8e from +aples of ancient lineage from 3ragon in 2pain and Hust li8e the Corgias but with better staying power. ? learned these things from &omas and Didi. Didi and ? 8new loads of the same people and were both invited to a wedding in Paris, but that is another story. ? only found out after several hours of conversation that &omas and Didi were the stepchildren of my hostess. ?t was a large party and many people were interested in my story and in my views on @enice. 6is grace, the Du8e obHected to my using the %on5aga name and informed me that the family still e'isted. ? spi8ed the Du8e;s guns nicely by in- forming him that some of my ancestors had li8ely been bastards of theirs, a remote possibility, or more li8ely property and that it amused me to use the name for a character in my boo8. Cro8e, battered and unpub- lished ? may have been but don;t mess with Pinar del #io. "r do. &he Du8e was rigid in his feudal views, which was a shame because he is an e'cellent administrator, would ma8e a very good politician and his children are delightful people. Coc8tail parties are the place for this sort of idiocy.

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3nyway, bac8 in Aantua, our rustic little town in the boonies, Cousin Aiguel interrupted 7nriMue and me. &he first time we both ignored him. &he second time 7nriMue was concerned and ? ignored him but the third time ? had to go. ? left reluctantly but #aMuel, Aiguel;s wife, had prepared lunch for an in-law and ? was e'- pected. 7nriMue;s news about the Airandas had been significant for me and for more important reasons than merely boosting the family credentials. #aMuel had made a big effort and it was a real Cuban family gathering. 2he made a rice and blac8 bean dish called 9Aoors and Christians;, chic8en and of course 9Aalanga 3marilla de AacuriHe;. &he A.3.d.A. seems to operate on a two-day lag and it 8ic8ed in nicely for me in 6avana. CenHy Cuni-%arcia was also at the lunch and afterwards he too8 me to meet his father at their house. CenHamin 2r. had been a close friend of my father;s and contact had been lost after the revolution. ?t was a strange e'perience for me. 3fter the initial conversa- tion, they brought down a bo' of photographs from the attic. :hether in Cuba or Aiami we all treasure our old photographs but we also use them to be sentimental about the past as opposed to honest and do not have sufficient contact with the living for whom they would be of most use. CenHamin 2r. found the photograph he was loo8ing for and gave it to me as a gift.

l to r Cuni father, !uis Cabrera Celestin, Aaruca %randa Cabrera, #am$n %randa Gernan- de5, un8nown, Cuni grandfather, #amonin %randa, CenHamin Cuni-%arcia

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&he photograph is from the late 1/F);s. ?t is a group picture on the front porch of the Cuni-%arcia house in Aan- tua. ?n it is CenHamin 2r. as well as his father and grand- father, my 3unt Aaruca and her husband my uncle !uis, an unnamed female friend of my aunts;, my father and my grandfather. CenHamin has his arm around my fathers; shoulder and clearly, they were close friends. &he photograph and the way ? got it, demonstrate many things, not least of which areN friendships and family ties over a span of generations and in the same house, as well as the elegance of the way they used to dress. ? treasure it and show it to everybody. :hat was strange and struc8 me most at the time was that ? met a man and saw him as teenager and grandfather at the same time, learned of the relationships and was seeing the conseMuences of our history in terms of our own people with faces and names and not Hust statistics or abstrac- tions. &his was only possible because ? went to Cuba. Previously ? had viewed our history from the perspective of a Aiami Cuban and that is insufficient and gives a false picture. &hat afternoon ? had many things to thin8 about. ? had not yet seen the monument that my grandfather had built that was set in the pla5a that my uncle had built and which together are the main entrance to the town. Ay social obligations met. ? had some free time. ?

138

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meandered my way through the town to go to the monument thin8ing the whole time of many things. 2trongly connected to the land and the culture ? confess that at times what happened to the people who were be- fore, the &aino, the 2iboney, and the %uanahatabey, weighed on me. &he news that 7nriMue had given me about the Airandas was significant. ?n the 10th Century, only the highest officials of the 2panish 7mpire would have been able to bring wives to the 3mericas. 3ll oth- ers would have married locally or returned to 2pain to do so. &he early Cuban identity as creoles comes from this versus our calling the 2panish - peninsulares. 9Criollo; is now a cultural and geographical identity e'pressed in a spectrum of color. &his 8nowledge allowed me the possibility of thin8ing that a drop of their blood, the peo- ple who were before, ran in mine. &he sensation as ? wal8ed to the monument was strange. ? felt lighter and wal8ed lightly on the land to which ? felt a deep con- nection. ? did not allow the sensation to run its; course and cluttered it with conscious thoughts but for a mo- ment ? did feel that way. ?t was 2aturday, December -, 1//0 and 1)) years to the day since the death of %eneral 3ntonio Aaceo, a hero of the Cuban wars of independence, in battle. &he monument is to his last campaign and honors the fact that he and his troops finished their cross-island push from the east in Aantua.

140

140

Aonument in Aantua

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Aaceo, the Cron5e &itan, is a byword among Cubans for courage. Gounder of a city, he fought in many bat- tles, was oft wounded, and died relatively young. ? saw his portrait in the Palace of the Captains %eneral in 6a- vana and can say that he was a remar8ably handsome and elegant man, a bit li8e Den5el :ashington but bet- ter loo8ing, very Cuban and with tremendous, earned authority wielded with ease. ? 8now very little of his life and intend to learn more. Clac8 people were first brought to the 3mericas as slaves in 1=)=, to 6ispaniola and after 1=11 to Cuba, to replace the people who were before that died from slaughter, maltreatment as slaves and from disease. ? am aware of these things. ? did not articulate them in my meditation, which mostly consists in sitting, thin8- ing nothing in particular though ? will follow a tendril of thought on occasion, and smo8ing cigarettes. ? thought of family, of my aunt and uncle. &hey are in their -);s, went into e'ile in 1/=/, believing it would be for two or three months at most. &hey bought a house in the Aiami suburbs when they reali5ed that it would be longer. &he area was countryside when they bought it. &hey lived there ever since. "ver the years, their world has got- ten smaller. ?n Aantua, they are remembered as young people and 8nown by their nic8names. Ay aunt has since died and my uncle is old and blind.

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"ur history is turbulent and our inHuries real. Aany of our problems have been going on for generations. Ay grandfather too8 part in the 1/** coup against Aach- ado, the Aachadato. &he groups that too8 part in it are still fighting for power as descendants or direct par- ticipantsN Catistianos, communists, autEnticos and orto- do'os etc. even if some are Hust withered remnants of ancient venom that hold on to their illusions in minute clubs that are part of the more than *)) e'ile politi- cal organi5ations in Aiami. :e have yet to achieve a healthy civic society though we have the means to do so. 7'iles concentrate on the period between 1/F) and 1/=. but the only thing that was born in 1/F) and died in 1/=. was the illusion that we had it made. :e con- tinued in our disputes and Humped into the Cold :ar. ?t is over now and the nature of our disputes is becoming clearer. Cubans in Aiami do not 8now that the Cold :ar is over. &he Gederal %overnment continues to fund it. &he last national election in Cuba was in 1/F.. &he current government is not solely responsible for this fact. :e are all responsible, in some measure, for our con- flicts. :e have all ta8en part. ? voted for #onald #ea- gan and was happy to see the end of the 2oviet 1nion. ? suppose ? have been aware of all these things for a long time now and was aware of them then as ? sat on a corner bench of the pla5a and watched what little traffic there was flow on by. &he dilemma ? have had

!andscape Aantua

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is how to communicate them effectively. Peace is the answer. &herefore, ? Hust 8eep plugging away. ?t was late afternoon and the sun was setting. ? got up from the bench and wal8ed bac8 towards the town. &he field was on the right hand side and ? stopped Hust before it and stood loo8ing for what felt li8e a long time. &here was a small shed down from me that served as a bar. 3 few 9guaHiros; had tethered their horses and were drin8ing a shot of moonshine at the end of the day. ? wanted to Hoin them. ? wanted to slip into the life of the province and Hust go from place to place. ? wanted it very badly. ? stood there and then moved on stopping only to snap the picture of the field in the wider landscape where ? caught the light. ? returned to the house and spent the evening with fam- ily. :e all did another session on the porch with Buana Pere5 and all of us telling stories. &here was a festive air in the town. &raditions have continued and evolved. &he 2aturday 9fiesta; at the 9Circulo 2ocial; was still held. Grom the porch, ? had observed the young people pass- ing by. Cuban music is still the most popular form of music among Cubans but the young respond <li8e ev- erywhere else> to the new. 3t / )) p.m. &hey started blasting &echno music and did not stop until 2 )) a.m. &hey had a rave in Aantua and ? missed it <the event not the noise>. Aiguel and his family go to bed early and ? was part of the life of their house. ?n addition, ?

1FF had to be up at dawn the ne't day because BoaMuin the ta'i-driver wanted to leave for 6avana in the early hours. &he opportunity to be with #aMuel and her grandson was a welcome one. "ur families are close and chil- dren are raised as part of a social weave. &hey receive a great deal of affection. &o watch #aMuel caress her grandson was in some way a privilege for me. ?t awo8e an appreciation. Ay 3unt Dora <in e'ile> still has the touch but younger ones do not and ? suspect that li8e me, Cubans in Aiami have not noticed its gradual dis- appearance. 3 touch that heals, soothes, and builds trust. 7arly the ne't morning ? said goodbye to Cousin Aiguel and to Aantua. 6e had instructions for the remaining relatives that ? should meet in Pinar del #io and in 6a- vana. 6e also as8ed that ? should convey a message to relatives in the 1nited 2tates. 6e wanted another cous- in to visit. ? said ? would do my best. ? did meet all the remaining relatives. Grom the moment the ta'i was leaving Aantua, ? 8new that my trip was ending. ? was leaving Cuba. ? have left many places but nothing has ever compared to leav- ing Cuba. ? had a great many plans. ? always do. ?t is the way ? play with variables. ? 8now they are Hust plans. ?t was a solemn, solemn ride alleviated only by the fact

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that ? 8new what ? wanted, ? had a plan of action and was doing something about it. ? accepted that ? had to return to Aiami. ?n 6avana, ? would inMuire about be- ing able to return to Cuba and stay much longer. Ay ne't trip would be as a writer and with the purpose of producing my ne't boo8 <subHect undecided>. Ay ne't boo8 was this one and on further trips, ? developed a movie proHect for which ? wrote a screenplay and too8 pictures PCanto de CubaR. &hey are on my virtual tour of Pinar del #io. ?n Aiami, ? would sha8e the tree, attending to matters untended. ?t has long been my contention that we need to be more honest about the past and that everyone needs to accept responsibility for their own actions. Ce- cause of my trip, ? also believe that the affairs of Cuba are for Cubans to decide and no other, for if we are not responsible for ourselves then no one else can be so for us. Ginally, it is my belief that the answer to our prob- lems is reconciliation and that the best place to start, although any will do, is within our own families. ? have done it and it is not so difficult. 3ll it ta8es is a smidgeon of courage, some compassion, and an airplane tic8et. ? had resolved that ? would 8eep returning to Cuba until the day arrived that ? could stay and be Cuban in my own country. ? did continue to ring that bell until Presi- dent Cush changed policy in 2))F. ?t is now illegal for me to travel to Cuba. !iving in a democracy sometimes involves eating a shit sandwich. Process is important.

&ransportation in Cuba

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? was aware on that day as we rode to Pinar del #io and 6avana that it might be a long time or never, before ? could be a citi5en of a Cuban #epublic. ? had deter- mined to approach it the way ? do my boo8sN it ta8es the time it ta8es. ? have felt many things. 3s ? rode in the ta'i, ? said goodbye to one of the last truly rural places in the 3mericas. &he ride would have been tragic but for the fact that ? was accompanied in my trip. 2hortly after we left Aan- tua, we pic8ed up some additional passengers. 3t my feet were two live, trussed roosters and in the bac8 seat was a young couple with a baby, a grandmother, and a young boy who 8ept getting carsic8. ? had offered to have the boy travel upfront. ?t was not allowed. &he one car caravan to 6avana traveled through the towns and villages of Pinar del #io. :e drove from Aantua through the districts of %uane, 2an Buan y Aartine5, 2an !uis, and Pinar del #io where we connected with the new highway to 6avana. ? loo8ed at it all and in spite of being deep in thought wanted to imprint it in my person. ? even li8ed %uane. ?t was busy as befitted the westernmost terminus of the national railroad line. Gounded in 1=/=, %uane is still the most important town in 9@uelta 3baHo;. 3part from the boy being carsic8, the ride was unevent-

1F. ful. BoaMuin had agreed to ma8e a stop in the provincial capital so that ? could meet another of Aiguel;s brothers. :e were very Muiet for the hours that it too8 to get to Pinar del #io and it was only as we passed the hotel <where the boys and ? had stopped> that ? spo8e to BoaMuin to remind him of Cousin #aul. :e turned around and drove into the town to loo8 for the house. BoaMuin found it. ? went in and announced myself. ? had intended to bree5e in and out, as time was pressing and it was not fair to the other passengers to 8eep them waiting. ? met 3ntonia, #aul;s wife, and her daughter who informed me that Cousin #aul was attending mass. ? e'plained my purpose and e'cused myself for the brevity of the visit. &he daughter was dispatched to find the father while BoaMuin and ? were served coffee. &he family and ? chatted. Cousin #aul showed up. ? wrote down names, too8 pictures, and accepted messages for relatives. &hen in a flurry of pardons, e'cuses, and e'changes of affection, we left. &he rest of the ride was highway to 6avana. :e pulled into the Capital and ? as8ed BoaMuin to drop me off on Gifth 3venue in Airamar. 6e did and we settled ac- counts. 6e did not want to offer and ? did not intend to accept but ? wanted it clear between us. ? wanted to hear the hustle. 6e offered to arrange for alterna- tive housing on any subseMuent visit and other business services. &hese had tacit but not legal approval and officially, they are not permitted or heavily regulated.

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? wanted him to ac8nowledge reality. 6e did and so now, ? do. Ay Hudgment on BoaMuin, he treated me politely and gave me much information that was of value. 6e has a right to his political beliefs and as for the otherN he is a product of his time and place, as are we all, trying as best he can to ma8e his way in the world. 6e drives beautifully, his fares were reasonable and he 8new his way around. &he silences were welcome and ? was luc8y and happy to have met his sister-in-law and neph- ew. BoaMuin really is an e'cellent ta'i-driver and ? am grateful for his services. 3fter we concluded, ? wal8ed bac8 to the house in Airamar. ?t was early 2unday afternoon and no one was there. &he gate was loc8ed. ? bu55ed the bac8 house intend- ing to wait on the front porch for my friend. &he bac8 house is part of the same property and belongs to Dan- iel and his family. 6e is a lawyer, married to a flight at- tendant and they have a charming daughter = or 0 years old. Daniel and ? had not previously interacted e'cept to e'change greetings as part of a group. 6e invited me to wait in his house and that is how we came to have the 8itchen debate. 6e is a true believer in the revolution. Cy then ? welcomed the opportunity for us to tal8. :e are contemporaries, have firm reasoned views and both care about Cuba. +aturally, we started by having a coffee. ? had interrupted his lunch and we

Che sculpture - Pla5a Civica

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came to our conversation slowly. ? had declined to Hoin him in his meal and had waited in the living room while he finished. :e sat on opposite sides of a large, sMuare table. :e were not alone for much of our conversation. &here was an attractive young woman, who seemed to help Daniel and his wife, wor8ing around the house and in the 8itchen as we tal8ed. 2he seemed very interested in what we had to say. ? am not sure, at this distance, how we began, but the tone of the conversation was to create understanding rather than simply adversarial. 3t some point early on, Daniel as8ed me if ? had been oppressed in any way and whether ? had been able to spea8 freely. ? had been as8ed the latter Muestion more than once and the truth is that once ? overcame my fear or rather each time ? overcame my fear for the process is ongoing, ? found that ? was able to spea8 freely and no one interfered with my doing so. Ay e'pectations had been different and there was a basis for my fears. ? went through my list of political prisoners. @irtually everyone in our conflicts has received inHuries. ?n e'ile, we go through our lists with passion and as Hustification of our fervor. ? did so without passion, simply to demon- strate the basis of my fears. 6e as8ed me if they had done anything and ? had to say yes. ? had started the list with my maternal grandparents and so had to answer in plain fact that my grandfather 9Cartaya; had been

1=2 a C?3 agent. :e did not linger on this but the moment was significant for me. &his was yet another evolution in my understanding of our conflicts. 3fter much reflec- tion, ? no longer view us as victims but rather as partici- pants in conflicts because of which we have given and received inHuries. Prior to the revolution, my maternal grandparents had different political views to that of my paternal grandpar- ents. 3t one point during the revolution, my grandmoth- er 7neida had to hide 7scalona, the communist uncle, from the forces of the Catista government of which my father was a member. 3t another point after the revo- lution, my grandmother had to hide my father from the forces of the #evolutionary government of which 7s- calona was a member. 3t Playa %ir$n, my uncle #aul Au'o was on the invad- ing side and my uncle Dermidio 7scalona was on the defending side. Ay father considered Hoining the Cri- gade but due to political differences did not. Ay mother got my grandparents out of Hail. 3s an e'ile, my grandmother continued to return to Cuba in order to provide for my cousins, Pupy, 3leHandro, and Deborah. 2he did this even when she was dying from cancer. Ay grandmother 7neida was from a landed, provincial upper-class family. 2he was traditional in standards,

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modern in taste, loved to play po8er, drin8 whis8ey, and live life her way and in spite of politics, governments and war she too8 care of her own. 2he was brave, tough, polite and a soft touch for money. 2he was not one of my sources but my brother, cousins, and others assure me that this was so. ? used to visit her often and always responded when she as8ed me to ta8e her shopping, things for Cuba, or had other reMuests and errands. ? li8ed her a lot but never agreed with her when she used to tell me that ? should visit Cuba. +ow, of course ? do which brings us bac8 to the 8itch- en debate in 6avana and my e'position of our history, which ? call 9!a CronMuita Gamilial;. Ay point of view was new to Daniel and he seemed very surprised by it. ? did not call it 9the Gamily 2Muabble; merely to be flippant but rather to shift understanding, deflate the overblown rhetoric of our disputes and bring it down to human scale. ? started by pointing out the situation in the family of the current leader of the Cu- ban state. ? will vary it here somewhat because ? have already provided much of the information. :hen Gidel Castro was a prisoner of the Catista government, his brother-in-law was President of the Congress. &he son of the now e'-brother-in-law is the loudest voice in the 1nited 2tates government against Gidel Castro. Cuban3mericans drive 1.2. policy to Cuba. Cuban-

?sabel Aaria - &he valley belonged to 7neida;s parents

@iew from the Porch - Casa 3ntigua, 2an Carlos - 7neida;s mother was born here

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3mericans sit in the front seat of 1.2. policy to Cuba. ?n e'ile and opposition, there are Dr. Gidel Castro #u5;s e'wife, e'-brother-in-law, nephews, sister, daughter 3lina Gernande5-#evuelta who is a good writer, and granddaughter. ? then pointed out to Daniel the case in my own family and then he ac8nowledged that he also had relatives in e'ile. ? do not believe that what is the case in my family is uniMue. 3s ? have pointed out my family was not maHor league but we were &riple-3. ?t is not in our status that we are the same but in our social and cultural patterns. &he 2oviet 7mpire or if you prefer - the 2ocialist Cloc8 is now gone and the Cold :ar is over but our conflicts continue. Ay grandmother 7neida was not a C?3 agent but she served time as one. 2he was imprisoned for not informing on my grandfather. &he family nature of our current dispute established, ? then went on to discuss economic issues. ? had the wooden pencil, made in Cuba that ? had acMuired from Cousin 3rnaldo, the schoolteacher in the village of Aa- curiHe. ? also had the fle'-grip, medium ballpoint, blue in8 pen that ? prefer to use when ? write. ? used the two to demonstrate a point about how economies function and not to disparage a Cuban product. !iteracy and culture matter more than whether you use a Muill pen, pencil, typewriter or computer.

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? e'plained to Daniel the production processes involved in producing the ballpoint pen in a mar8et economy versus producing the same product or going from pen- cil to pen in a centrally planned economy. ?n the latter, it would first have to be established that the need e'- isted. &hat means one layer of bureaucracy. &hen how that need should be met. &hat means another layer of bureaucracy. Decisions made as to need then produc- tion resources have to be allocated, more bureaucra- cy, and distribution arrangements made with yet again of you 8now what. 2ince it is a centrally planned economy decisions are not made as bottlenec8s occur in the decision-ma8ing pro- cess. 6uman and material resources are sMuandered in massive, unproductive bureaucracies. 3lternatively, decisions are made, commented upon and distributed that are not related to reality. Daniel readily conceded the point about relative productivity in the respective economic systems. ?n fact ? found no one in Cuba whether in government, communist, revolutionary, Gidelista or opposition, who was happy with the economic system. +o one. Daniel tried to e'plain what the revolution meant to him. 6e told me things and we discussed them. ? will get to them. :hat ? understand is that for him and the other true believers the revolution is about the fervor of their

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aspirations. %ood intentions. :ishful thin8ing. !ife as contest. #ec8less gamblers. &here is something here. #ecently ? came across an audio tape recording of my father. 6e did it in 1/.2 not so long before his death in Gebruary of 1/.F. &he recording lasts about F) minutes and is all that remains of a proHected autobiography. 2adness permeates my father;s voice. &he proHect was li8ely abandoned due to my grandfather;s death at ./ and my father;s awareness of his own mortality. 6e had his first heart attac8 at F= and died an early death at =*. &o hear his voice again was more comforting than sad. ?t was the first time since his death. 6e begins by noting the date, O P2unday Aarch 2., 1/.2. 7nd of the month. Cills to pay. Can8 CalanceN negative. !ife CalanceN +ega- tive. Gamily CalanceN +egative. &otal Calance[ Yero.R 6e goes on to state that the underta8ing will ta8e him, O P&o glory or the tomb...more li8ely the tomb as ? long ago abandoned the path to glory.R &his accounting continues by his recounting that, O P!ife had been prodigal with me, showered me with early blessingsR and he had received Pall the reMui-

#am$n %randa sites for a beautiful life.R 6e Muotes our national poet, BosE AartL, who advised that in order for a man to have a fulfilling life, he should O PPlant a tree, have children, and write a boo8.R

159

Ay father was aware of his own sadness and negative attitude as he ac8nowledges that it, O P:as not the same HoyR <to write a boo8 at that time> as it had been earlier Pto plant a tree and be a father.R 6e goes on to say of his intended proHect that it was, O P+ot the best time <to do it> but perhaps the only opportunity and the last mission in life.R 6e states further that it would be, O Pfor sure a success in the mar8etR, as he considered, Pmy life has been so different from that of othersR and reflected Phumanism, wealth, poverty, misery, suf- fering, tragedies, se' in its most beautiful form and in its most grotesMue, happiness, love, family, family love. ?n the end, a life full of emotions, and a full life.R 6e wanted to leave a record so that those of,

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O PAy family not commit the same errors as ? did but do enHoy or live life as much as ? didR. Ay father was gallant. ?t is a Muality that ? did not understand as a child but did as a man. 6e dedicates his effort to, O P&hose who did me the most good but perhaps also did me the most harmR. &his mournful tone was one ? never heard in life and while there were instances of introspection, it was not a defining characteristic. 6e goes through the circumstances of his birth, O PBuly 1F, 1/*). Ginca Gundora. &ermino Aunicipal de Aantua, Pinar del #io. Don #amon %randa, respected in all the #epublic... a man of honor and wor8, has the greatest Hoy, the arrival of a son. Dr. &errada congratulates him. &hey e'change an 9abra5o; <hug> and enter to see that e'traordinary woman, totally homema8er, sweet, affectionate... so is born the per- sonality of our story in an atmosphere that was secure and stable... one must admit no greater Hoy than to be a father... it is clear that our personality never reached that of our father... the strict good manliness and hon- orableness of Don #amon and what would later be the errors of his son... even if life should catalogue us as a valiant man, we were not.R

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162

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?n the tape my father struggles to clarify his intent of recounting his life in stages and contrasting the differing personalities <%ramps and Dad as perceived by Dad> to add deeper significance to the story. &he ambition was not reali5ed but he did manage a few episodes. &hey illuminate him, reveal us as Cubans, and show through direct e'perience part of how Cuba because of our dis- putes was caught up in the Cold :ar. &he first is an anecdote from my father;s high-school days, the second a victory speech from his election to Congress and the third are his encounters with #ichard +i'on as @icePresident, as private-citi5en lawyer and fi- nally as President of the 1nited 2tates. 1/F-, 2tamford, Connecticut. 7astern Ailitary 3cademy. ?n the early morning of a summer day Hust before gradu- ation, my father, and his colleagues from the baseball team were called into the sports director;s office to re- ceive a pep tal8. ?t was the big game and the players had to Pdemonstrate their ability to defend the school they represented against !a2alle Ailitary 3cademy of +ew Ior8 who were ran8ed as principal contenders for best team in the 1nited 2tatesR. Commander Cerrin <Q> told the boys, O &oday is our day. &oday is the day that the military academy could represent the 2tate of Connecticut in

#am$n %randa

10* the upcoming Championship. ?t is our most important game of the season and we e'pect that all of you will contribute with your greatest effort to win. ?f we lose, let us lose with valor, courtesy, and honor. ?f we win, let us enHoy it fully. @ictory is ours and ? trust in all of youKR !ittle did the Commander 8now that the previous night the designated pitcher <who was present and whose name is pronounced, #a-moh-neenK> had escaped from the military academy with two buddies ta8ing the / == p.m. &rain to +ew Ior8 City. &he academy was divided into one main building and five dormitories <funny - my school was also composed of five buildings>. Ginal inspection was at / *) p.m. &he 7nglish teacher, 7rnest Pachell <Q> covered for Dad and the boys as they snuc8 away to a pre-arranged waiting ta'i to ta8e them to 2tamford station. &he ta'i and the train arrived together at the station. &hey made it. O P"n that train was the ne't day;s pitcher along with a 2panish companion and another from @ene5uela to enHoy in +ew Ior8 the happiness of their waiting girlfriendsN a young %uatemalan named Carmen 2ando- val and two young @ene5uelans. 3fter a night of total fun in the 3lamac8 6otel on Croadway and -1st 2treet where we enHoyed our youth and respective loves, we prepared to return on the = *) a.m. &rain.R

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&hey made it and arrived in 2tamford at 0 1= a.m., connected with the same ta'i and got to the school in time. Suic8 change from civilian dress to military uniforms. Aorning 3ssembly. Crea8fast and afterwards the pep tal8 from Commander Cerrin <Q>. ?n my father;s words, O PDead from lac8 of sleep and e'hausted but perhaps full of youth;s vitality, full of desires for advance- ment in life and to stand out above others - dared at that moment to tell the Commander - 92ir, ? am the des- ignated pitcher for today and ? guarantee not only that the honor of the 3cademy will be well represented but that we will triumphKR &he sports page headline of the local paper, the 2tam- ford %eneral, read, P7.A.3. wins 2 to 1 "ver Gamed !a- 2alleR. &here was widespread Hoy in the 3cademy, as they would go to the national championship. #amonin was the victorious pitcher and scored the winning run. Ay grandmother Carmela and 3unt Ceba attended my father;s graduation ceremony where O P"nce again it was his turn to stand out and with the Hoy and enthusiasm of his triumph pronounced the farewell address for all the assembled cadets.R &he inclination to politics was already evident. &he music of

Caseball 2tadium in Aantua

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93uld !ang 2yne; accompanied the speech. O P&hrough the help of our teachers and our own efforts - we graduate today to face life at 1niversity or at wor8. :e are prepared. :e say 9&han8 Iou; to our teachers, whom we shall always remember with affec- tion as well as the other students who share our Hoy at graduation receive our embrace as brothers for here are represented all the nations of 2outh 3merica, sev- eral from 7urope as well as the 1nited 2tates. &he name of Cuba is raised high today as ? raise this diploma that ? have obtained from this 3cademy - #aise that of your own nation and let us defend with honor our peoples so that as brothers we can ma8e a better world.R Ay father goes on to say, O P&hose words said in Bune 1/F- would be reflected later in the tumultuous political life of the Cuban na- tion and the 3mericas. 6ow far we were from thin8ing that that young man - &riumphant in sports, &riumphant in studies, &riumphant with his friends that he won easily, could come to thin8 of a boo8 that could end tragi- cally.R &he last national election was held in Cuba in 1/F.. 3t this point, a thumbnail s8etch of our history during the short-lived #epublic would be in order but first a minor personal aside. 3s a small child, ? read a great deal of

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%ree8 mythology. ? did so for the stories but the inten- sity of my interest leads me to believe that ? was in my Muiet way scouring them for survival tips. ? subseMuently no longer cared for the form but it may have been the basis of my lifelong devotion to literature and literacy. &he struggle for Cuban independence was long, bloody, devastated the country and the result, when achieved, was ambivalent. ?n the 1./);s Cuban e'iles in Glorida and +ew Ior8 carried on a propaganda war, which the 6earst and Pulit5er news organi5ations too8 on as their own. &his, coupled to a renewed movement for 7mpire in the 1nited 2tates as embodied by men such as &eddy #oosevelt prepared the way. ?n 1./., the 1.2.2. Aaine e'ploded in 6avana harbor. ?t set off the 2panish-3merican :ar. 3lthough the e'- act cause is un8nown current research indicates that the e'plosion was a result of a design flaw in the ves- sel the coal bin and the maga5ine were ne't to each other, a spontaneous combustion of coal dust ignited the maga5ine and destroyed the ship. 3s a result of the war, the 1nited 2tates acMuired Puerto #ico, Cuba and the Philippines. 1nder 1.2. supervision, the #epublic of Cuba got its fitful start three years later. &he 1.2., as colonial power, through the much-hated <by Cubans> Platt 3mendment maintained the right to intervene in Cuban affairs. &hat right continued of-

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ficially until 1/** and unofficially thereafter. &he base at %uantanamo is a holdover from the 3merican push for 7mpire. &he power behind the 3mendment and the Case caused resentment among Cubans. &his emotion is not important in the 1nited 2tates. Dey :est, %uantanamo, and Puerto #ico control the deep-water routes to the Panama Canal. ?t was the 8ey 1.2. strategic interest for almost one hundred years. &he Canal was the essential infrastructure in fortress 3mer- ica. ?t transformed naval power and the acMuired ter- ritories of the war became bulwar8s of the fortress. &hat was important in the 2tates. ?t is no longer the case. 1ndoubtedly, the right of intervention retarded the development of political maturity in the island. &he Aam- bLes did not fight for almost forty years in order to have their affairs run by others. 7Mually undoubtedly, the 1.2. war against 2pain ended the 2panish carnage in Cuba. &he 2paniards literally decimated the population. Aore than 2)),))) people died out of a total population that was far less than 2 million. &he highest death rate and worst destruction were in the provinces of Pinar del #io and 6avana. Gor ending that, however belatedly and for what little its worth ? say than8 you. &he rest, we all have to deal with. Cuba recovered from the devastation and in the 1/2);s began to prosper mightily. &here is an unusually severe

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boom-bust economic cycle in Cuba that has been go- ing on for at least three centuries and ? do not 8now if it forms Cuban character or is a reflection of the Cuban character or both. ?n the late 1/2);s President %erardo Aachado coa'ed the boom, benefited from it, issued a great deal of debt, which he used to build the national infrastructure of railroads, highways, and government buildings. &he :all 2treet crash of 1/2/ and the repeal of Prohibition, which had brought tourists, cash and bootleggers to Cuba, ended the boom and brought trouble to the Aachado government. &he trouble was answered with repression and this set the dynamics of our conflictsN troubles, repression, more troubles, more repression, revolution. ?n 1/**, Aachado was overthrown. Gulgencio Catista, a minor officer of the Cuban 3rmy starts to come to prominence and influence events. Contrary to current perception, his politics was considered and called itself progressive. :or8er;s rights, land redistribution, education, healthcare, and Cubanisation of foreign owned assets were all part of his program. Auch of this program was incorporated into the Constitution of 1/F). ?t made more promises than could be 8ept and contrib- uted to the Cuban perception that government could solve all problems. 3 point of view shared by near all of those who now call themselves 9the historic e'ile; in Ai- ami, a truly ugly phrase. &hey do not seem to be aware of how much they have changed in *. years and how

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little. &hey continued to evolve in 3merican terms but stayed stuc8 in Cuban terms that are archaic. &hey go to their death running from their past and are always stuc8 in it. ?n the 1/F) election, Catista won legally. 6e negotiated favorable trade deals with the 1nited 2tates due to the war and laid the groundwor8 for the post-war boom in tourism. ?n many Cuban eyes, Catista would be associ- ated with the 1nited 2tates. ?n the 1/FF election, Catista handed over power to President %rau 2an Aartin. ?n the 1/F. election, %rau handed over power to Presi- dent Carlos Prio-2ocarras. &his was the last election recogni5ed as democratic by all Cubans. ?n 1/=2, the elections were due but were not held. "n Aarch 1), 1/=2 for no 8nown reason, Catista stages a bloodless coupN rumor has it that the Chief of Police did it. 6e assumes power as a dictator thus brea8ing the constitutional order. Gor the rest of his life my father never 8new why. 6e said that Catista could have won the election. &his was the closest my father ever came to admitting that it was wrong. &he economic boom continued until the revolution and set the conditions for the familiar caricature of Catista as 9il duce &ropical;.

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Ay father;s narrative continues with a victory speech he gave on +ovember *, 1/=F that was broadcast from a radio station in Pinar del #io. 6e was 2F years old and had run for office against my grandfather;s wishes. 6e was only 2. years old when the revolution overthrew the government. 6is entire political career lasted four years and much as ? loved him, it does not seem rational to my much older eyes to defend a record of support for Catista as dictator that had such dismal results and trag- ic conseMuences. 3fter the coup, my grandfather had retired from Congress and ta8en a private position as head of the tobacco growers association. 3ll are dead now but let the tragedy of our civil conflicts unfold in my father;s words, O PCompatriots, having elected me Congressman of the nation with an overwhelming maHority of the people of Pinar del #io not only do ? give than8s but also assure that the political promises made during our campaign , so successfully bac8ed by yourselves, that has culminated in this glorious triumph starts in our life the stage of wor8ing for our people and dedicat- ing our best efforts so that the nation should always be a symbol of progress - so that our nation should go in the paths of democracy - go in the paths of sincerity - of peace, wor8 and honesty. Celieve me when ? give you than8s that ? tell you that ? will wor8 honestly and represent you with dignity before the Congress of the

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#epublic where the final triumph shall be that of the Cuban 9campesino; - so that Bustice shall reach all the social environments - so that the Cuban 9campesino; will progress - and to open sources of wor8 for Pinareo youth that are the ones who have conducted this politi- cal campaign with the most fervor. +ot only do we give than8s to the 9pueblo; and to the youth of Pinar del #io- but also we give than8s to our ma'imum inspiration, my father, #amon %randa Gernande5. Aay ? accomplish my mission in life as he since ? have the honor of holding the office that he held for 12 years, that we might bring to you the same principles, the same capacity for wor8 and the same administrative honesty. Aany than8s Pin- areo compatriots.R ?n the anecdotes that follow of his encounters with #ich- ard +i'on my father;s voice reveals bitterness, flashes of militancy as well as a sense of wonder at the turns his life would ta8e. 6e uses phrases such as O Pthe symphony of ironiesR and says that,

O P&he blunders of great powers are payed for by small nations.R &hey first met in 6avana when @ice-President +i'on was head of an official delegation visiting Cuba, O P:hose sad mission it was to discredit the Cuban

#am$n %randa government.R Ay father goes on to say that it was

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O P&he most infamous decision of the 1.2. government or perhaps of that 1.2. government. Pity that 7isenhower was President and not Aac3rthur.R Ay father then Humps to a later part of his story with Ar. +i'on. 7vidently, some years later when Ar. +i'on was a private-citi5en lawyer, my father in e'ile in Aiami contracted him as his personal lawyer in a lawsuit. 2uit was brought on behalf of my father;s then fiancEe, a daughter of the Dominican dictator &ruHillo and her sib- lings, against their brother #amses for ten million dollars each. &hey were fighting for a share of their father;s vast estate. ?t must have been in the early 0);s but my father does not provide the date. ?t would have been after my parent;s divorce and before his third marriage out of a total of four. Ay father vacillates about calling &ruHillo a dictator and says, O P6istory always calls men who are in power for a long time, dictatorR but then goes on to say, O PClearly it was a dictatorship which was not the case in my countryR. 6e resents the fact that &ruHillo and Catista were often compared though he says

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O P&here was an enormous distance between bothR. 6e never finishes the story intending to come bac8 to it later, and instead goes to the other encounters. "ctober 1/=0. 6avana. Ay father was a 20-year-old Congressman and a member of the Goreign #elations Committee. ?n the tape, he assesses Cuba;s standing in the world. 6e says of the domestic situation, O PPer capita income was the highest in Central and 2outh 3mericaR but adds Pforeign relations were poor.R Cuba was targeted by the 2oviets and this was, in his view, ignored by the 1nited 2tates. 6e was summoned to the Presidential Palace by Catista in order to be pre- sented to the delegation and attend to those, O P:ho we then thought of as friendsR as well as the important occasion of interacting with the @icePresident of the 1nited 2tates. Ay father had gone to school in Connecticut, attended 1niversity in @irginia, and spo8e 7nglish to the 3merican standard. 6e had a lifelong affinity for things and peo- ple 3merican. 6e spent *) of his =* years of life in the 1nited 2tates. 6e never too8 citi5enship and remained a Cuban in e'ile from his beloved country. 7vidently, in his dying days he felt a great deal of bitterness over po-

#am$n %randa litical matters.

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&he Presidential Palace is a large, ornate, sMuare, fourstory structure with a tower crowned by a cupola and has interior courtyards. &he building echoes in style the small remnant of a 10th Century fortification that is di- rectly in front of the Palace. &he architects too8 their cue from the ruins and created not Hust a building but also a metaphor for the evolu- tions of Cuban government. Grom thic8-walled fortress to city palace of many windows mimic8ing the desired evolution from military government to civilian. &iffany \ Co. designed the interiors. Ay father would have arrived at the driveway in front under the large portico, told his secretary and chauf- feur to wait, as he did not thin8 it would be long. 6e would have gone through the front reception area that could serve as a ballroom and made his way to the left hand staircase that would ta8e him up to Catista;s sec- ond story offices. &he building is now the Auseum of the #evolution and the offices are preserved, as they were with surprisingly small but comfortable, club-li8e leather chairs arranged for conversation in front of a standard si5e des8. "n that occasion, my father waited in the anteroom. Crought up to speed by the appointments secretary, he was then ushered into the Presidential offices. 7vi-

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dently, Catista shoo8 my father;s hand and then did the honors, O PAr. %randa you spea8 7nglish, ? want you to meet the @ice-President of the 1nited 2tatesR. Ay fa- ther e'tended his hand and met #ichard +i'on for the first time. O P6ow do you do Ar. @ice-President.R

O P6ow do you do Ar. %randaR, +i'on answered. Catista then says to my father, O PAr. %randa, please ma8e sure Ar. +i'on has a good time in CubaR. Ay father, in the tape, says that Catista spo8e PCuban 7nglishR. 3pparently my father reMuired no prodding for he Humped to it and said to Ar. +i'on, O P?t;s going to be my honor to show you around 6avana... or around Cuba... anywhere that you would li8e to visit. ?t will be our pleasure to show you around and to ma8e your time in Cuba the nicest, the bestKR +i'on responded, O P?;m Muite sure 2ir that if you visit our country we shall do the same for you.R

#am$n %randa Ay father goes on to say, O P&hose words, years later, would be a total contradiction.R

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:e were penniless refugees of the Cold :ar. :e were given shelter, for which fact most everyone is profound- ly grateful. ?t was a struggle. Ay father;s words refer to complaints that are substantial. &he fact that we were not received at the :hite 6ouse and ta8en nightclub- bing at 7l Aorocco is another issue. &here are other choices. ?n any case, bac8 to 6avana in 1/=0. &wo assistants accompanied @ice-President +i'on. &he entire group made their way downstairs to the waiting cars. "n the way, my father as8ed, O PAr. @ice-President where would you li8e to goQR

6e then says that, O P!i8e all tourists, in the end chose &ropicana.R

Ay father had an engaging manner and was in his hey- day. 6is offer to ta8e the party in his personal car was accepted and the others were sent in the two govern- ment limousines. &hey returned to the Capri 6otel <new-

Presidential Palace

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ly built> where Ar. +i'on was staying. 6e had reMuested an hour to prepare before going on to dinner. "n the tape, my father confesses that, O P?n ourselves had already started the greatest flaw in our life, gamblingR. 7vidently he decided to wait in the casino and says that by the time he was called he had, O P!ost some few pesos at roulette in that pretty hotelR in the @edado district. 3ctually, he must have dropped a pac8et because he would use understatement only about gambling losses. O P&ropicana was a magical word in all the world of nightlife, show business, and gourmet dining. ?t stood out above all the cabarets of the world, not even the Aoulin #ouge or the others of Grance gave the public such a beautiful spectacle. Ar. 3lberto 3rduro met us at the doorR and escorted them to their table. &hey enHoyed the show, the Creole food, and music, and then with dinner ending, they got down to the seri- ous conversation. Ay father says he was chosen as es- cort not Hust because he spo8e 7nglish and was a mem- ber of the Goreign #elations Committee but because Catista would have trusted blindly in his

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O PPolitical militancy, patriotismR and sense of PHustice and liberty.R Clind trust was certainly in the eMuation. 3t the dinner table in the always crowded nightclub, @icePresident +i'on turned to my father and as8ed, O PAr. Congressman is it possible that behind this apparent tranMuility and happiness in the streets of 6a- vana there is a revolution ongoing in "riente province where they say there are deaths daily and the days of the president;s government are numberedQR Ay father characteri5es his reply as cutting, patriotic, civic, and inHured, O PAr. @ice-President, we are able to maintain the constitution, peace, and order in our land but we are not able to guarantee the liberties of our nation when foreign insurgencies are the cause of whatever revolu- tionary movements or apparently revolutionary move- ments that may e'ist. ?t is yourselves Ar. @ice-President that can bring down our government. Iou 8now per- fectly well and have said so, that the stability you see is completely different to that reported in your country. &his national spirit of festivity is not Hust the Hoy and char- acter of Cubans but because we are well represented

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in all parts of our government. :ell then Ar. @ice-President if ? can return to my words about foreign insurgen- cies - ? can say that we have irrefutable proof of a com- munist, #ussian movement infiltrating the country and undermining the student body and this is not being seen as it should by your country.R 3ccording to my father;s memory, @ice-President +i'on was lifting his demitasse of Cuban coffee at the &ropi- cana and astonished by my father;s words answered, O P:e do not interfere in anybody;s affairs. :e have come here as visitors to this country and without any official mission. 2o therefore ? do not believe there is any meddling by our government.R Ay father;s immediate answer, O PIou began the conversation by saying there was a revolutionary movement, ? have limited myself to answering the truth.R &he tape ends with one more anecdote. Iears later, my father had one more encounter with Ar. +i'on. ?t was during a political campaign involving the Presiden- cy and although my father does not specify the year, ? infer that it was 1/0.. ?t could have been after Ar. +i'on won but was still President-7lect.

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O PAr. %randa, a pleasure to greet you. ? recogni5e my error in our conversation in Cuba and ? will do what is possible to reestablish democracy in your country.R Ay father;s answer, O PAr. President, with all respect, if ? did not believe in you in 1/=0 why would ? hope to believe you now. +ow is a time when thousands of Cubans are going to perish and one must act with ma'imum moderation and ma'imum strength so that it won;t be a world war to reestablish my country.R Ay father says that once again +i'on loo8ed at him profoundly as if studying him but said nothing. &hey never met again. &he tape ends. Aista8es are the price we pay for 8nowledge, if we do not use it or apply it then the payment is wasted. ?n that spirit, ? e'amine our conflicts. Girst then, to my fa- ther;s specific charges. &here were certainly 2oviet led conspiracies afoot in the island and there is no reason to doubt that they were involved in the many student movements that were ongoing particularly those that were centered at the 1niversity of 6avana. &he Catista government would li8ely have 8nown because, on and off, they maintained somewhat cordial relations with the legally constituted communist party of Cuba that was better 8nown for its involvement in the trade union

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movement. &hey might have 8nown of C?3 involve- ment in those same student groups. &he overwhelming maHority of support for the various revolutionary move- ments however came from Cubans, primarily of the upper-class business elite and the politically ambitious middle-class professionals. &he main support for Gidel Castro in his days as a stu- dent leader and later came from 7'-President Carlos Prio whose term was cut short by Catista;s coup, only by a few months because it was an election year. 3s an e'ample of business elite support for the revolution and not to single them out, ? mention that the Cacar- di clans provided a great deal of money and support to the revolution. Pepin Cosch 8ept a picture of GidelN they were once friends and then became bitter ene- mies. 3s ? have mentioned members of my own family supported the revolution. Ay uncle says my maternal grandparents; house was the center of the revolution in Pinar del #io. People who did not care for Catista and were actively involved in see8ing his ouster would have surrounded my father and his colleagues. Ay father;s words were not believed because of the actions of the Catista government. &hey had little credibility within their own society and for this, they have themselves primarily to blame. &he coup was answered with protest, which was answered with repression which cycle escalated until our

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conflicts spiraled into participation in the wider world conflict of the Cold :ar. &he society or the social or- der of my father;s day simply collapsed and ne't to one has ever admitted to ma8ing a mista8e or accepted responsibility for their own actions. &he 1nited 2tates withdrew support from the Catista government and it fell. 7very other segment of Cuban society was doing the same thing. 3 problem denied remains a problem forever. &he 1nited 2tates has made a very poor Dingma8er in !atin 3merica even though the C?3 has reputedly had a great deal of practice at the endeavor. ?n this, prac- tice does not ma8e perfect. &he 1.2. would have been very busy in those days not interfering in many places, some of which, such as %uatemala and ?ran turned out very badly for everyone concerned. Conflicts that are about sovereignty have been confused with ideology. Contrary to intent, the Catista government was identi- fied with the 1nited 2tates, its overthrow was perceived or made to be perceived as an e'pression of Cuban sovereignty, and hence the eMuation that has been most e'ploited, Cuban independence eMuals opposi- tion to the 1nited 2tates. Aore personally and more painfully, ? also e'amine aspects of our culture that are present in my father;s words. Gervor, triumphalism, political militancy, blind trust, and disregard for process. &here is considerable data avail-

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able to all Cubans to determine whether these things have been of value to all of us. ?n my view, newer gen- erations have grown disenchanted with these habits. :e find in them the source of our troubles and not the solution to our problems. Cubans believe in leaders and in limiting the liberties of political opponents. &his has hindered the creation of a healthy civic society and perpetuated our conflicts. !imits are placed on leaders and not on liberties. #egard for process is important. President +i'on was a great man for having gone to China yet when he transgressed against process the Congress moved to impeach him. 6e had to resign. "ver time, this appears to have had an enormously salutary effect for the 1nit- ed 2tates both materially and morally. &he @enetian #epublic lasted 1,1)) years and had 12) successions of political leadership. &he ==th elected leader tried to usurp power and went against process. 7ven though he was popular, the @enetians arrested, tried, and convict- ed him. &hey dealt with him in a very satisfactory man- ner. 6is head was chopped off on the Palace steps. &he whole thing too8 Hust a few days and without the modern benefits of hairspray and television cameras. Ay father had his encounter with Ar. +i'on in 1/=0. ? did not 8now of his encounters but whatever civic standard my father dropped when he died then ? pic8 up and hold as best ? can. Cuba was a tragedy in his life but his

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life was not a tragedy. 6e had more than a thousand lovers, danced through life, and died gambling. Gorty years later and on a much humbler scale, we re- turn to my own 8itchen debate. &he conversation too8 place 2unday December ., 1//0. &he future was no clearer to Daniel and me than it was to them then. &he now is as ever, foggy. "r not. Daniel and ? spo8e of many things. &he maid got a big 8ic8 out of what ? had to say but ? pretended not to no- tice. Ay political evolution made a strong impression on Daniel. 6e touched on it several times but we did not spea8 of it directly until the end of the conversation. 6e spo8e of the aspirations of the revolution, the cre- ation of the 9new man; and universal access to educa- tion and healthcare. ? listened to what he had to stay and for my part found no obHection to living in a society of healthy, well-educated people but ? indicated that achievements aside the goal was yet before us. ?t is precisely the best state educated young people who are most an'ious to abandon the country. @isits to the Auseum of the #evolution have li8ely had something to do with it. 3mong the e'hibits are =)) and 1,))) peso ban8notes of the previous regime, the peso was 8ept eMuivalent to the dollar, as well as a Muotation saying that it loo8ed li8e the Catista dictatorship would last for twenty years. ?t lasted 0 and a 142. &he twenty years is

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mentioned as a long time and the current government has been in power for *. years. Cright young people see the e'hibits, ma8e calculations and the rest we all 8now. "ne million, si' hundred thousand people have left Cuba. ? had told Daniel of my e'periences in Aantua and informed him of what revolutionaries in the district had to say of my family. :e spo8e of the past. Cubans in Aiami are of course not alone in distorting the past. ? spo8e of the wealth that family lands had generated and de- scribed current conditions as seen by me. ? spo8e of the roads, the school, the monument, the pla5a, the electrical plants and all of it buttressed by sources that he was more li8ely to trust. P!os %randas sirvenR. ?t was a pleasing thing to be Hudged so by those we had long considered enemies. ? find that my fear of it was well worth facing. Daniel had a view of past oppression that had some truth to it but was inaccurate as to degree and partici- pants. /) to /=W of the former residents of the @edado, Airamar, and Ciltmore districts of 6avana went into e'- ile. 3s we 8now, many had supported the revolution and then it turned out badly for them. :hat ? pointed out to Daniel was how you could read the architecture of the city. 6ouses were built open to the street and most have

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front porches. :alls around houses, if any, were most- ly ornamental and not built with any consideration to security. Properties reveal clearly that the high fences were added long after the revolution. &he districts of the city with the e'ception of Ciltmore that is now 8nown as 2iboney, all communicate with each other. &he archi- tecture reveals that turmoil was the e'ception and not the rule. &he social e'pectations of each era are e'- pressed clearly and there are enough buildings of each era to read them. &he constructions from the prosperity of the F);s and =);s show that people e'pected to live in peace. &hey were wrong but they left an attractive architectural record that may yet be redeemed. Daniel returned to the matter of my political evolution. 6e was almost astounded and considered it a consid- erable achievement. &he fact that ? did it alone was near incomprehensible to him. Deference, curiosity and perhaps some of the same fear ? have felt were in his manner as we came to the close of our conversa- tion. ? led him part of the way and answered that ? had cried bitter tears over these things and e'pected that ? would not be alone in this. 6e as8ed me to e'plain. :e sat across from each other, firmly but gently ? told him, ? would not. 6e would have to thin8 of it himself. :e sat Muietly for a time and slowly ? saw his eyes grow large. &he penny dropped, an, O P"hR sighed out and was all he said. :e all have

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? only had three more days in 6avana and saw him but once again, he averted his face and wal8ed away. 2ubseMuent trips brushed distance away. !ater that afternoon, 3mado showed up. :e were off on a new round of e'citement in 6avana. ? had not told you how proud of him ? had been when we vis- ited his hotel proHect and he told me of his plans. &he 2aratoga 6otel is located on Prado Hust up from the old Capitol building. ?ts heyday ended long before the rev- olution and the neglect shows. &he elegant facade is intact and from the outside the building still loo8s good but entering it reveals that the second and third stories have collapsed into the ground floor. 3mado wal8ed me through the structure and together we imagined what the reconstruction would loo8 li8e. ?t was all part of the much larger effort to restore "ld 6avana. 3s ? understood it, the master plan by 6abaguane' is not Hust to restore the buildings but also transform the life of the area. &he 2aratoga used to be fa- mous for its ground floor cafe called 9!os 3ires !ibres; where 93nacaona;, an all-women orchestra, used to play. ? was privileged to sit in on discussions to create anew that 8ind of liveliness along the avenue. &he for- eign investors are reMuired to pay into a general fund to restore the area. &hese include restoration of 97l ParMue

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de la ?ndia;, a historic monument, refurbishment and maintenance of period street lamps and other spe- cial proHects such as lighting up the Capitol building at night. 1+72C" has declared old 6avana a :orld 6eritage 2ite and indeed the cultural legacy is vast though in precarious condition. &he wor8 to restore it is urgently needed and ? am fully in favor of those who attend to that wor8. ? was able to meet with many people who wor8 for 6abaguane' and overall ? can say that all of them impressed me. &hey live lives of great austerity, transportation to and from wor8 is as much a problem for them as it is for the rest of the society and in addition, they really wor8. &he state sector has a great deal of hidden unemployment and underemployment. 2ince my friend deals with them daily, ? was able to have ac- cess and to get to 8now many people on a personal basis. Denia is a proHect manager overseeing the restoration of the 93mbos Aundos; <Coth :orlds> 6otel. 2he is a sin- gle mother who wor8s long days in a serious, dedicated manner. +aturally, as ? got to 8now her ? set myself the agenda of ma8ing her laugh. ? managed to do so with some freMuency, in a social setting. &he 93mbos Aundos; is where 6emingway is reputed to have finished 9Gor :hom the Cell &olls;. &he distinguished

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gentleman ? have already mentioned as among those ? met and will appear in a further conversation. &here was also a young architect named 3biel who was e'- traordinarily talented. &hey are all aware of their own worth and though none said so as the topic was not discussed, ? suspect this ma8es their Hobs yet more dif- ficult. +onetheless, they persevere and the wor8 they do is good and it is to the sum of those Mualities that ? responded. Gor some readers my praise may not seem noteworthy or unusual, nor my regard for our cultural legacy appear misplaced, but for many in Aiami this is not the case. &o them ? respond, if a shoeless revolution- ary can spea8 good things of my family for the simple reason that they are true then ? can certainly spea8 well of the many good people that ? met and for the same simple reason, they are true. Communication ma8es reconciliation possible, these are precisely the people that ? wish to live with, and they are among those whom ? admire most. &he architects were not the only people of talent that ? met on my short but action pac8ed trip. ? met many who ma8e a life in the arts painters, photographers, musicians both classical chamber music and popular salsa, and wanted to meet more. ? felt a great deal of empathy for them and while political discussions formed part of our interactions because they are unavoidable. Politics intrude in near every aspect of our lives and dis- cussion should not be avoided. :e were nonetheless

Pla5a de la Catedral

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often able to move beyond the limits of our Muotidian realities. +ot all-political tal8 was of the same importance, some of it was fun. ? have lived in many countries and trav- eled a good deal. ? always identify myself as Cuban and give further e'planation as reMuired. ? have noticed that in recent years interest in Cuba and her culture has been growing, in part from wor8 pro- duced in Aiami and in part from Cuba reopening to tourism. Perspectives differ greatly but Cubans in Aiami are seen as different even by other e'iles. 7uropeans and others who have a different point of view on our history and thus advocate a policy of engagement with the current government always refer to us in the same way as, O O P&hose Cubans in AiamiR or P&hose cra5y Cubans in AiamiR or

O P&hose right wing Cubans in Aiami.R Political groups are never mentioned by name, or in fact are completely un8nown in spite of their local importance. 3nyway, ? was at a 9paladar; with my friend and an ?tal- ian businessman who was involved in a small hotel proH- ect in "ld 6avana. &he discussion was in ?talian and

Pla5a @ieHa - "ld 6avana

?nterior Patio- Pla5a @ieHo

123- Cuba Aonument in 6avana

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towards the end of dinner turned to politics. &he e'ecu- tive li8ed to hear himself spea8 and did most of the tal8- ing. 2oon he wor8ed himself into a lather and started complaining at length about, O P&hose Cubans in Aiami.R 6e continued ranting and ? let him. :hen he finished ? informed him as if in passing, O P?o sono Cubano di Aiami.R 6e blanched wonderfully. &he shoc8 registered through his whole person and then began a veritable cascade of apologies and e'plana- tions. ? listened and when ? was satisfied with his shower of, O O P2cusa;sR said, P+ienteR <it;s nothing>.

? enHoyed it thoroughly and on subseMuent occasions, he was the most e'traordinarily polite fellow. 3lthough contact was brief. 6e seemed a tad nervous for my taste. &his is a shame, because his wor8 is superb. 3rtists can be allowed their thing. &he 96otel Glorida; is finished beautifully. &hat 2unday night we went to a small party held in a

:elcome to %uanabacoa

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handmade penthouse on the roof of an apartment building in @edado. ?t was near the 96abana !ibre;, for- merly the 6avana 6ilton. ?n the =);s, the hotel was oper- ated by the 6ilton organi5ation but was owned by the 6otel and #estaurant :or8ers 1nion of Cuba. &he penthouse 9!a Casa de 3dela; was very interesting both as a space and art obHect. 3dela was a painter and printma8er but clearly her chief wor8 and creation was her apartment and the events held in it. 2he seemed to be godmother to a floating artistic community and she rented out the roof terrace apartment for people to hold gatherings. &he guest list will li8ely include what- ever stray artist 3dela feels is in need of a meal and can maintain the salon atmosphere of her gatherings. %arrett <Q> organi5ed the event the night we went. 6e is a Critish news service correspondent in 6avana. 6e was with his companion, 6ildita, who Muic8ly became a pal. ? had met them previously and li8ed them very much. 6ildita is the manager of a chamber music or- chestra called 9Camerata #omeo; and though ? had tried, obviously not enough, ? had been unable to pur- chase their CD called 9!a Cella Cubana;. ? had very much wanted to listen to it. ? also made a couple of efforts to attend their rehearsals but was unable to. ? have not forgotten. Yenaida was not present on that occasion but ? will spea8 of her here. 2he is Mualified to conduct symphony orchestras but due to scarcity of

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national resources, finds her talents better employed in conducting the chamber music orchestra. 2he told me of the music schools. 2he was moved at the dedication of the students in the face of great dif- ficulties. "ne story went that piano students practice on boards of wood that have the piano 8eys painted on them and that some of these same students have then gone on to win international competitions. &he story may have been enhanced for dramatic effect but there is ample evidence to indicate that there is truth there. 7'ile or travel for artists is nothing new. +early all of our writers for the last *)) years have been e'iles. &here are distinct strains in Cuban arts and these loo8 to the cultural lives of Aadrid, +ew Ior8 and Paris for their influence over the years. 3 great number of talented young people have been leaving Cuba. &hey are fol- lowing in older footsteps. &here is a growing mutual fas- cination and near love affair currently developing be- tween !atin 3merican culture and Parisian cultural life. ?t is e'pressed in the arts. Cubans are part of this. ?n lit- erature, Yo] @aldes is following in the footsteps of 3leHo Carpentier. +estor 3lmendros opened the way in film and earlier, :ilfredo !am did so in painting. 6e was the most influential Cuban painter of this century. +ow, last century. &here is a bu55 coming from these places and it is an indication that Cuba has continued to produce

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people of great talent though it may ta8e some time for these young people to achieve individual recognition, as have others before them. &he gathering was much li8e any otherN there was some food, some drin8, everybody brought something, a bit of dancing and a lot of conversation. Iasmin was the sensation of the party. 2he is of mi'ed &ur8ish and 7nglish descent. 2he would be attractive in any society but her figure and manner made her a 8noc8out in 6avana. Pleasant and charming, she was in Cuba to oversee a boo8 proHect for the P!iving ?n...R series. &hey are cof- fee-table boo8s considered collectible and are very popular in Critain. :e had met before and discussed production difficulties. Professional still photography and cinematography are different in scale but similar in production reMuirements. &he conclusion was that to wor8 in Cuba you have to bring your own eMuipment and it must be to the 1.2. standard. 3merican electri- cal systems are the model and not the 7uropean. 2ub- seMuently, film production people in Aiami who have wor8ed in Cuba have told me the same thing, and how to do it. &here was a Cuban photographer present and he Hoined us in the conversation. 6e pitched a proHect to Iasmin and ? was temporarily miffed when he called it PAy 6avanaR. ? did no writing while ? was in Cuba. &he

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e'periences were too intense and varied - it seemed better to have them first and thin8 about it later. Ay one entry in the noteboo8 was PAy 6avanaR. &he title was an idea that ? was considering for a novel. ? did not share this with them. &he photographer;s pitch was at- tractive, an intimate portrait of the city as seen through the everyday life of an artist. ? hope he ma8es it. &he apartment bordered the terrace and rooms flowed into each other. 3ll were arranged into conversational areas. ? too8 up a position near the bar and watched 2ergio, 3dela;s assistant, give salsa lessons, and mi' bar. 6ildita and Aarilyn soon Hoined me. Parties are good places to ma8e light of painful matters. 6ildita 8new of my strong feelings for Cuba, enHoyed them, and teased me about leaving. ? answered in 8ind and told her that ? did not want to go into a second e'ile. 3 couple was sitting nearby. &hey overheard us. &he husband was an official who wor8ed for the 6ori5ontes 6otel chain, a Cu- ban entity. &hey were stiff and it too8 them awhile to rela' and Hoin in the conversations but eventually they did. 6ildita and ? moved to that area while 2ergio and Aarilyn put on a floorshow. People came and went. Iasmin Hoined us again and by then the tourism official was ta8ing part. Iasmin was in the preliminary stages of her proHect. ?t was her first trip, which would serve as a scouting e'pedition to prepare the ground for the team that would follow. 2he actually as8ed me for bits of Cu-

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ban history that she could use and by now, you 8now me, so ? gave them to her. &he first anecdote ? had gotten from 97l Clandestino; the e'ile family friend ? met before my trip. &he ?5naga family were one of the most aristocratic and traditional families of Cuba. Proudly Creole, they were sponsors of one of the earliest attempts at Cuban independence in 1.2*. 7ven they were but one of a weave of families. &hey were based in &rinidad, one of the oldest towns in Cuba. ?t was founded in 1=1F and is nestled in a fer- tile valley on the Caribbean coast. &he town and valley is ringed by mountains that soar more than *,))) feet above sea level. &here are many palaces e'tant in &rini- dad including ?5naga family properties and as ? under- stand it, ? have not been, all are eminently photogenic. 7vidently, the ?5nagas were related to the Aontagues, an aristocratic 7nglish family based in Ceaulieu on the southern coast of 7ngland, and to the @anderbilts in the 1nited 2tates. Curiously, 3mado;s family have their country house on lands still controlled by the present !ord Aontagu. &he ?5naga used their 7nglish connec- tions to assist in arranging the marriage of Consuelo @an- derbilt to the Du8e of Aarlborough. &he arrangement was unhappy and ended in divorce so presumably no one wants to ta8e credit for it. Iasmin too8 notes. &he tourism official listened intently to what ? had to say

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and warmed nicely to my choice of anecdote. ? fol- lowed with another. ?n 1--0 <or thereabouts> a fervor spread through the society women of 6avana. &hrough- out the 3mericas, attention was focused on the bid by the Critish colonies in +orth 3merica for independence. &he Cuban women stripped the Hewels off their bodies, sold them, and collectively raised the staggering sum of 1,))),))) ducats. &he money was used to help pay for the Grench fleet which, as ? understand it, was instru- mental in helping the newborn #epublic of the 1nited 2tates of 3merica achieve liberty. &hey saved the day at Ior8town, a critical battle. &he official and ? loo8ed at each other and both used the same word at about the same time, O PDesMuiteR <9Paybac8; in 2panish>.

?n 1-02, the 7nglish sac8ed 6avana and as part of their ransom demands, too8 Glorida. ?n our part of the world, the 7nglish were pirates albeit with good manners, at least the ones who too8 6avana. &he official and ? agreed that the Grench fleet was paybac8 to the 7ng- lish for having sac8ed 6avana 1F years earlier. &here may be more to the story. ? understand there is a new boo8 on the subHect by a writer named @icente &eHera. 6avana administered Glorida from the 10th Century for more than 2)) years and after 1-02, it was traded bac8 and forth. 3ndrew Bac8son finally too8 it in the

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early part of the 1/th Century and legali5ed it by pay- ing 2pain * million dollars. &he &eMuesta, an indigenous people of Glorida, opted to go to Cuba rather than be ruled by the 1nited 2tates. 3ndrew Bac8son later com- mitted ethnic cleansing in the southern 1nited 2tates by removing and sending the Chero8ee and Cree8 peo- ples on the trail of tears. 2ome of the Cree8 escaped and became the progenitors of the current day 2emi- nole, some fewer of which, are proudly 8nown as the 1nconMuered 2eminoles of Glorida. ? do not 8now the fate of the &eMuesta but ? suspect that over time they blended into the general popula- tion and simply became part of our mi'. 3ccording to a current study by economists at Glorida ?nternational 1niversity, the %reater Aiami area gener- ates about 0) billion dollars a year in economic activ- ity though what portion of that is due to Cubans was not specified. Cubans are the largest single group in the %reater Aiami area but not Muite a maHority. 3merican press accounts of the day claimed that the 1nited 2tates lost -=) million dollars confiscated by the #evolution in 1/=/. 2ome time later, the 1.2. government claimed the losses were 1.0 billion and currently the 6elms-Curton law claims 0 billion dollars. &he 1nited 2tates as a nation has not lost any money from Cuban conflicts on a net basis. Conflicts have been profitable. 3s far as ? 8now, none of the claims has ever been e'amined.

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1ndoubtedly some, li8e the 6ershey company which had an e'cellent reputation and were well loved by their wor8ers, are legitimate but others are li8ely dubious as padded losses, particularly when there is no chec8ing mechanism, are a probability. Cusinesspersons and politicians have e'ploited the Cold :ar for their own ends, not all of course. 3ccounts are misstated and used to perpetuate conflicts that for the rest of us would best be resolved. Cuban e'iles are not the only ones that need to be more honest about the past. Cehavior by some of those companies may have had something to do with the collapse of the society and though ? do not hold them primarily responsible for our troubles, ? do consider that it would be good to 8now e'actly what they did. Cribes and 8ic8bac8s were of- fered even to honest officials. &hey have been illegal for 1.2. companies since the !oc8heed scandals of the -);s in 7urope and Bapan. ? 8now about the offers because there is a story involving my grandfather when he was head of the tobacco growers association. &he story goes that there were two 1.2. ban8s vying for the pension fund account controlled by gramps. "ne of the ban8s made a better offer and sweetened it with a hidden offer of a Muarter million dollar 8ic8bac8. Ay grandfather was celebrated for accepting the 8ic8- bac8 and depositing the money into the pension fund

Cuban slogan

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account thus ma8ing the transaction transparent, hon- est, and lucrative. 6e did after all have a fiduciary responsibility. ? had a picture of the banMuet at the #an- cho !una restaurant. %ramps was no fool. 7Mually, 1.2. mafia interests owned the Capri 6otel where Ar. +i'on stayed. Ay father li8ed to gamble at the ca- sino. 6e was pals with the manager, Charlie :hite, who was a nephew of !uc8y !uciano;s. &he appalling thing about mafia involvement in Cuba was that Aeyer !an- s8y was invited to operate the casinos. 6e was consid- ered more honest than Cuban operators were. 6olly- wood movies aside, the involvement was limited to a handful of hotel casinos. &hese things are part of our his- tory and should stay there. &hose things ? did not discuss with Iasmin or the official. :e were on more pleasant pursuits. 3 group went on to other places and the prete't was to find a replacement for the 93nacaona; that was, to play in 9!os 3ires !ibres; that will be again. :e found them at a place called 9!a Aaison;, which occupies a mansion whose interior is tac8y and overdone. &he garden terrace where the entertainment ta8es place is suitable for aging playboys to entertain people who are unentertaining but must be attended. %iven that criterion, there was not much of a crowd, Hust two or three tables. 3 reunion of 9!a Aaison; models would ma8e for a hip crowd.

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&he stage is outside and though the setting was aw8- ward for them, the band that played was superb. 3n all-girl group called 935Vcar; whose members ranged in age from 1. to 22. %reatly talented in the pop range, youthful, energetic, and proHecting a great charm. &hey were all petite and the lead singer had an air of the young %loria 7stefan. ?f that were not enough, one of the other singers resembled the young Banet Bac8son not Hust in loo8s but also in talent. &hey had a very good presentation for such young performers but lac8 all the other things that could give them a great career. &his is due to Cuban government policy in part and to the ongoing conflict. &o apply political criteria to talented teenagers on matters that are not of their ma8ing seems to me to be both absurd and unHust. &he odds against them are already tough enough. "f course, the odds against what ? want are even greaterN peace, and have 935Vcar; play at the new cafe 9!os 3ires !ibres; on a restored avenue at a five star hotel called the 2aratoga. ? have not discussed this with 3mado but Gran8 &homa recently lost his castle in Cavaria and would be free for a little Hob interview in 6avana. 6e would handle the door. Countess Patricia von &auf8irchen is the last of a long and noble line, cas- tle-less and would be ideal as hostess and ?, of course, would wor8 the bar, mi' drin8s <mine>, and ma8e cof- fee. &he crowd would be a finer selection of the usual riff-raff we have all encountered in all our long and var-

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ied travels. "pening night in my 6avana. 6errera, the tourism person from %uane, gave me the tip of writing about 9!os 3ires !ibres;. ? do and now there is the small problem of peace. Perhaps he can help with that as well. :e all can. Gor the record, ? have no financial interest in my friend;s proHect or in any other business in Cuba. Ay interests are other but ? believe they advance things ? want, peace, reconciliation, and reconstruction. &hese are desires but the goals ? set for myself are more modest - it is merely to try. &he means ? choose are decidedly human scaleN thought, pen, pa- per and my person such as it is. "n the Aonday before ? left ? did ma8e inMuiries about returning to Cuba and being able to stay for longer peri- ods. Gor someone born outside of Cuba and with a 1.2. passport no visa is reMuired. 3 tourist card is given with the airplane tic8et at whatever international airport, in my case +assau though it could be Ae'ico, Bamaica, Canada etc. that has service to 6avana. &he tourist card is valid for *) days and renewable within Cuba at least once and possibly, twice after which it is neces- sary to leave the country and return with a new tourist card. &he above information was true to the best of my 8nowledge but it is worth noting that no two officials ever gave the same answer and this is indicative that the rules do change. ?t seems to be a function of offi- cialdom everywhere that no one person ever seems to

#am$n %randa have a complete answer.

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&he Cuban authorities do not stamp 1.2. passports but the Cahamian authorities do stamp 9?n &ransit; on your passport unless you pay the airport ta'. ?t is levied on all who intend to stay in the Cahamas. 3ccording to my understanding of current 1.2. law, it is legal to visit Cuba but due to the embargo, it is illegal to spend money. Gor an unpublished author this was not an obstacle but for others it may be a bit tric8y. ? had determined that ? would be upfront and straightforward about my trip. ? was prepared to accept the conseMuences if any albeit nervously. "n the plane bac8, my hand had trembled when ? filled out the 1.2. Cus- toms and ?mmigration form. ? had to scratch out a line because the first time ? put the information in the wrong bo' but eventually managed to answer the Muestion, O P6ave you been to any other country on this tripQR with, O PCuba.R

+ow that ? thin8 of it, it seems strange that the 1.2. form was given to me on a #ussian plane on the 6avana+assau flight of the Cuban national airline. %o figure. 1.2. Customs is cleared in +assau and the authorities 8now who is coming from Cuba. ?t appears, ? was the

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only one on that flight who voluntarily provided the information. &he toughest Muestion was, O P6ow;d it goQR followed by another about what ? thought. ? said our situation should be resolved, and the only thing ? received for that was sympathy. 2o much for my fears. ? felt a great deal of affection for 3mericans and was happy ? had done the right thing. Cuban-3mericans had a blan8et e'emption with "G3C so ? do not 8now why ? was so nervous. ?n the Customs shed, people with suitcases loaded with 6avana Club rum and Cuban ci- gars argued strenuously that they had never been to Cuba and had no idea how those things got in their bags. ? enHoyed the whole thing thoroughly. 3nyway, that was the flight bac8. 3llow me to linger a bit longer in 6avana. ? had made my inMuiries Muic8ly. ? was free to do other things. &hat same Aonday one of my Cuban friends had to drive to @aradero Ceach, the most famous re- sort in Cuba. ?t is about one and a half hours east of 6avana. ? as8ed to go along. ? wanted to see as much as possible in the time ? had. &he drive was fascinating for me. Ay friend lived in 6avana but his family was originally from Aatan5as province and he had grown

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up there. 6e had the same deep affection and loyalty to his part of Cuba that everyone else has to his or hers. ?t was great to see it through his eyes. ?t was surprising to see how much the geography varied. :e passed oil fields and other industrial areas. Cuba produces a small amount of heavy crude that is suit- able for industrial uses but is too heavy for refining into gasoline. :e passed rum distilleries and then passed former 6ershey company properties. &he baseball sta- dium loo8ed to be in disuse and was in disrepair. Ay brief glimpse from the car did not allow me to Hudge the severity of the condition e'actly, but it did not loo8 too bad. &he little town associated with the company was e'traordinarily attractive. ?t was set in dramatic fashion along the folds and on the crest of a roc8y promon- tory, Hutting out into the deep blue sea. &he whole view is visible from the much higher elevation of the road. ?n spite of the drama of the setting, the community loo8ed Muiet and inactive, as if reverting to the older pattern of use established by fishermen. &his of course was noth- ing compared to Aatan5as. &he road narrows as it enters the small city and is crowd- ed by buildings. ?t twists and turns goes along an iron bridge over a small river, with people everywhere going about their business, another couple of turns through

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again narrow streets, and then the whole thing opens up along the harbor. &he view is sudden and une'pected. &he bay is large, and to my eye, seemed to form an al- most perfect circle with a small opening to the 3tlantic. &he houses are set far bac8 from the water with plenty of green, open space. &he arc of the houses echoes the arc of the harbor. &he architecture is varied but all of it loo8s to have been in place for a long time, rich with columns and porticoes. 6eights, colors, and forms differ but the effect is harmonious and deeply pleasing. ? was impressed. ?t is after all Hust another small city, a town really. Cuba has many, yet it was as worthy of regard as 6avana it- self. 2o much to see, learn and appreciate. 3 whole country. :e stopped on the highest bridge in Cuba on the road to @aradero, so that ? could ta8e a couple of pictures. &he views are breathta8ing. &he ocean side loo8s through the tree-clad valleys of framing hills to reveal the co- balt-blue sea. &he inland view is even more stunning. &he IumurL @alley is an immense e'panse of rich, green, tropical forest littered with thousands of royal palms with rolling hills leading to distant mountains soaring in the far hori5on. 3ll of it seeming pristine and uninhabited. 2tun- ning. :hile we were there, no car passed. &here was no traffic. +o people were visible. :e had it to ourselves.

&he Iumuri @alley

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:e resumed our drive and as we approached @arade- ro activity pic8ed up. &he town, separate to the pen- insula, was attractive, and loo8ed li8e a co5y, relative- ly prosperous, beach place. &he airport also loo8ed busy. &he road goes between both and then reaches a chec8point4 tollbooth that control access. 2trictly controlled access to the peninsula causes resentment among Cubans. &his forms the basis for e'ile complaints of apartheid in Cuba. &he peninsula is a finger of land ne't to the town. 3 bridge connects town to peninsula, where the world famous beach and the lu'ury hotels are located. &he control is subtle. :e were two Cuban people in a Cuban car with Cuban plates but no one as8ed us for documents nor as8ed us our business. &he toll was payable in dollars and that is enough to restrict access. &he 9Hineteros; were forcibly removed to their villages of origin. ?t was Muiet because the crac8down had already happened. ? learned. &he lu'ury hotels loo8 li8e their 8ind anywhere else, Cancun, Aiami Ceach, Greeport whatever, with interi- ors loaded with marble and dull people who pay too much for a sunburn. &here was activity but it seemed muted. &he weather may have had something to do with it, nippy and with gusty winds. ? did not get to see the beach because we were there to pic8 up a couple, and then return to 6avana. :e were running a bit late. :e found the hotel and the couple. :e did a Muic8 pit stop, and were soon bac8 on the road. &he couple

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turned out to be very pleasant people. &hey were 7gyptians in late middle age. 6e was retired and she was an investment advisor to a wealthy 2audi group. &hey li8ed Cuba and so, well, you 8now the routine, ? li8ed them. &hey spo8e Grench, which is a language that ? more or less understand but that ? spea8 appallingly. ? was interested in their assessments. :e gained trust in each other and became very open. :e spo8e. Suality control, service on demand and efficiency of effort are all sadly lac8ing. ? already 8new this to be true yet ? found myself in the absurd position of defending things that ? find to be indefensible. ?n Grench no less. 3 little training is all they need ? would say. &hey are bright, good people and a good tip with real opportunity is all they need to show improvement right away. &his is selectively true but ? in fact thin8 that it will be a long, difficult process and that it may well ta8e at least two or three generations for us to heal the damage done from our conflicts and achieve a healthy civic society. 3 process that ? thought would outlast my lifetime. &here ? was in the car arguing otherwise. ? was sensitive be- cause foreigners were critici5ing Cuban people. &he true nature of my condition became apparent to me but not right away. ? lapsed into my thoughts and interrupted them only to chat Muietly in 2panish with my Cuban friend. &hat night at dinner, ? declared myself. ?

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wanted the advice of someone older. ? decided that the distinguished gentleman and architect would be ideal as mentor. ? waited for the opportunity and when it presented itself, ? too8 it. 3s ? have already mentioned, they live lives of great austerity and difficulty. Ay declaration must have appeared brash and fool- ish. ?t did to me. Ay use of the language of these things was aw8ward and not the fact of it. ? should 8now the score. O P?;m in loveR ? began. as8ed, O O P:ith whomQR PCubaR ? answered. @ery reasonably, he

Perhaps a flash of irritation or maybe surprise registered for a moment on his face. 6e was polite and truly a gen- tleman and did not ma8e light of what ? said. ? wanted his advice and he gave it to me. ?t was straightforward and sensible mostly confirming what ? had already de- termined to do. ? was prepared to stay, premature as that would have been and uneMuipped as ? was. Ay one condition and concern was that ? would not criti- ci5e the 1nited 2tates from Cuba and while ? am a citi- 5en - everything else is open game. ? felt a dual obliga- tion, to Cuba and the 1nited 2tates. Ay attitude was

#am$n %randa proper. ? would not be as8ed to.

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&uesday ? spent ta8ing photographs. &he ones from the car have an almost frantic and fleeting Muality. &hen say- ing goodbye. Ay friends thought ? would return Muic8ly, a matter of two or three months at most. ? am wiser in the ways of our conflicts. ? told them that my family had thought the same thing thirty-eight long years ago. 3ll that ? would say is that ? would do my best and return as Muic8ly as ? could. :ednesday, December 11, 1//0 ? left Cuba. Bulito too8 me to the airport and we had a few 9moHitos;, the elegant, traditional drin8. Iou cannot get a good one outside of 6avana. :e spo8e, shared the time to- gether and then ? had to go. ? have been through much since and have not yet managed to return. &hough ? despair on occasion ? have one advantage, ? do not give up. 2uch then is the conclusion of my story thus far and of my trip to Cuba. ? have shared my emotions, my e'periences, and at least some of our history. ? am not much different to everyone else. ? will end with Hust one more declaration. +ow ? can say as do all our writers, 9?n my word is Cuba;.

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&han8 you C"C".