Mathematical Jokes This is a collection of jokes which are purely mathematical.

You will not nd jokes about mathematicians or similar non-mathematical jokes. Some basic knowledge about mathematics is therefore required to fully understand the jokes. 1. ex and x where walking along the real line. Suddenly they saw the derivative operator in the distance coming towards them. x got really scared and said that they should run away from there as fast as possible, because otherwise the derivative operator will change him to a simple constant. ex just started laughing and said that he is not scared of such an operator. So x ran away and ex continued walking. Just before the derivative operator got hold of ex he wanted to know what kind of a foolish thing has the courage to meet the derivative operator like this. ex answered: Im ex and you cannot hurt me, so step aside!. The derivative operator replied: Is that so? Im namely the derivative operator
d dt !

2. Q: Which space has a linear structure, has a norm, is complete and yellow? A: The Bananach space! 3. Q: What is the contour integral around western Europe? A: Zero, because all the poles are in eastern Europe! 4. Halfway through an airplane ight from Poland to USA, there was a major disaster when the ight crew got sick and passed out from eating the sh. One of the ight attendants asked over the intercom if there were any pilots amongst the passengers. An elderly gentleman, who had own a bit in the war, raised his hand and was rushed into the cockpit of the 747. When he got there, took the seat, and saw all the displays and controls, he realized he was in over his head. He told the ight attendant that he didnt think he could y this plane. When asked why not, he replied, I am just a simple Pole in a complex plane. 5. Another Polish airplane crashed, because an engineer was taught that for stability, all Poles have to be in the left half plane. 6. At New Yorks Kennedy airport today, a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a ight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, Ashcroft said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go o on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like x and y and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common

denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more ngers and toes.