SECTION ONE PERSON PAPER

Section One Person Paper Kristen Piteck Salt Lake Community College

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My name is Lisa and this is my story of my life. My mom talked to me about some of the things I was too young to remember. And my dad told me a few things. So did my grandparents. My mom was raised in Utah and my dad was raised in Tennessee. They met in Utah and moved to Tennessee together after a couple of months. They didnt really know each other very well. My mom had taken some college classes but wasnt going anymore when she met my dad. She had gotten involved with drugs and alcohol. That is why she moved to Tennessee with my dad. She wanted to get away from the drugs and friends who were involved with them. My mom worked as a phlebotomist at the local hospital. My dad worked for his uncle at his uncles restaurant. They got pregnant with me not long after they moved. Both my mom and dad were twenty six years old. My mom had quit using drugs, but she and my dad both drank quite a bit. Contractions started five weeks early and my mom had to stay in the hospital overnight. The doctor gave her some medication to help stop labor. It didnt work because I was born a week later. We think it might have been due to my moms heavy drinking and smoking during her pregnancy with me. My mom says we were very lucky that I developed normally because sometimes babies whose mothers were alcoholics developed fetal alcohol syndrome and you never knew if you had those genes or not (Berger, 2010, Ch.2, p.73,

http://women.smokefree.gov/smoking,-labor,-delivery-its-complicated.aspx). My mom was a long way from her family and because I was early they couldnt come and be with her. My grandma is a doula and would have been a good support for my mom during her labor and delivery. She also could have helped her with breastfeeding and maybe I would have been breastfed longer (Berger, 2010, Ch. 2, p. 65). My mom had an epidural during labor. My dad was at the hospital with her and he got to see me being born. They were really happy to have a girl even though my dad already had another daughter who was six years old. My mom and dad didnt take any childbirth classes but my mom kind of knew what to expect. The labor went

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along normally. I weighed six pounds, two ounces so I was able to go home with my mom and dad the next day. The first month after I was born we continued to live in Tennessee and my mom stayed at home to care for me. Sometimes my mom would lay me in bed next to her so she could rest too. It was mostly in the middle of the night when I woke up and wanted to nurse. Some doctors say not to do that, but my moms doctor told her it was alright. I like d being close to my mom and dad (Berger, 2010, Ch. 3, p. 103). My parents got married when I was four weeks old and we moved to Utah to live with my grandma, grandpa and two of my aunts for a little while. One of the first habits I developed was sucking my thumb. I started with my fist and then I gradually figured out my thumb worked better (Berger, 2010, Ch. 3, p.106). My dad didnt want me to suck my thumb so he would pull it out of my mouth and put in a pacifier whenever I tried. I finally stopped trying to suck my thumb and sucked on the pacifier. My mom told me about the Big Five personality traits and we think I am mostly extroversion: outgoing, very assertive and very active. I am friendly with everyone and I love to have people pay attention to me. My personality is quite a bit like my moms. She says that is because of the genes I got from her and my dad but think part of it is because I was around her the most (Berger, 2010, Ch.4, p.135). When I was about fifteen months old, my dad got a job working in the oil fields in Price, Utah. We moved there so my dad could be closer to his work. This wasnt a very good time for me. I missed my grandparents and my aunts, uncles and cousins. It was just my mom and dad. They fought very loudly when they were together and they both drank a lot. My dad worked all day and then went out at night. My mom spent a lot of time in her room drinking and smoking. She did not hold me very much. To feed me, she would give me a cup with cereal or other foods that I carried around and ate by myself. I was pretty independent and could entertain myself

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but I didnt listen very well when my mom and dad told me to do something (Berger, 2010, Ch. 4, p.136). My mom left my dad and moved back to Salt Lake City with me when I was 21 months old. We moved in with my grandparents and aunts again. I shared a room with my mom and she started going to school part time. Sometimes my grandma watched me and sometimes one of my aunts or grandpa would watch me, but mostly it was my mom. When I was two years old, my dad was burnt very badly in an explosion at work. He almost died. My mom would take me to visit him in the hospital. He didnt look like my dad at all. He had white bandages over his whole body except his eyes and mouth. At first it was kind of scary but I got used to seeing him that way and then it seemed normal. After a while I couldnt remember him from before. When my mom would show me pictures of my dad before the accident I didnt believe that was my dad. I thought he always looked like he did with all the bandages and that he always had to be in bed (Berger, 2010, Ch.5, p.171). My dads mom came to live in Utah so she could be near him while he was in the hospital. I used to go and visit her often. My nana got a tea party set for me that she kept at her house. Whenever I went to my nanas house we would play. Nana helped me set the table for our tea party until I could do it by myself. She would show me how do puzzles and we would color together (Berger, 2010, Ch.5, p.174). I didnt have any brothers or sisters who lived with me. There was my mom, my grandparents, my great grandmother and two of my aunts. I liked living with my extended family. Everyone paid attention to me and I got to do some fun things with my aunts and grandparents (Berger, 2010 Ch. 8, p.285). Since everyone was older than I was, I would often play by myself with my dolls and toys. I would pretend that I was the mom and have imaginary friends who would talk to me (Berger, 2010, Ch. 5, p.175). When my cousins came over I would always want them to play in my games and I would try to tell them what to say and do. They didnt always want to do what I told them to. I would get very upset and stomp off by myself

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when they didnt listen. My cousins finally just said they wouldnt play with me if I tried to boss them around all the time (Berger, 2010, Ch.6, p.204). My mom and I had a routine for bedtime that we did every night. I would have a melt down if we didnt do it the same way. My mom would help me brush my teeth and get my pajamas on. Then she would pull all the covers around me in bed and tuck them under me. After that she would squash me by lying on top of me. I would laugh and then she would whisper in my ear that she loved me and I would whisper back. Then when she got to the door she would blow me a kiss and I would blow one back. Sometimes someone else would put me to bed and I would have to tell them exactly what to do (Berger, 2010, Ch.5, p.162). When I was three years old I started going to preschool/daycare. I really loved it because I got to play with kids my age. The school I went to had dress-up clothes, materials to draw and paint with, puzzles, and big Lego-type toys. We did lots of arts and crafts and went outside to play on the slides and swings (Berger, 2010, Ch.5, p.183). We played chase and I was a very fast runner. Playing outside was my favorite thing to do. At school we had set rules so I always knew what to expect. If I broke the rules then I would not get to go outside and play. Some of my friends at school watched movies at home. I watched some movies, but I really didnt like to sit that long unless I was very tired. My mom and grandparents didnt like to have the television on very much so I had to ask permission before I watched anything and they had to tell me if the show or movie was OK for someone my age first. There were some shows where the kids were sassy or mean to each other or their parents. My mom thought I acted out when I watched too much television, especially those kinds of shows (Berger, 2010, Ch.6, p.213). When I got angry I would throw tantrums and lash out at my mom. I would cry so hard that I would have trouble breathing and then I would get even more upset. I also threw things around when I got angry. My mom got very frustrated and would tell me that I should have

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more control. I still have a hard time controlling my emotions when something upsets me. Once in a while I will have a fit, but not as often as I used to (Berger, 2010, Ch.6, p.201-202). My mom says that I am strong willed. I think that means that I like to do things my way and I dont like other people telling me what to do. When I was very little my mom drank a lot and didnt pay very much attention to me. She quit drinking when I was two and half years old. She was happier and more patient with me but we still had quite a few angry times. She did spank me when she got angry. The last time was at a meeting I went to with her. She had to take me outside because I was having a fit about something. I dont remember what. She smacked my mouth when I yelled at her, but she missed and smacked my nose. It didnt hurt very much but it bled a little. My mom felt so bad she never smacked me again. If I did something wrong or got sassy she would take something away for a while and if I kept doing it she would throw it away. I think that bothered me more than spanking (Berger, 2010, Ch.6, p.218). I started kindergarten when I was five years old. I got to ride the bus to and from school. This was so much fun because I got to sit by the big kids on the bus. In kindergarten, I liked to play with the boys during recess because they ran and played lots of active games. Some of the girls liked to play with the boys but others didnt want to. They played house with dolls. I liked to do that sometimes too. Running around outside and playing with dolls were both fun, but none of the boys wanted to play house with the girls at school. Sometimes my friend, Michael, would come over and play house with me. Just not at school (Berger, 2010, Ch.6, p.224). Because I like to run outside and play sports all the time, I am pretty skinny. I am a little taller than my cousin even though she is a little older than I am. My mom says thats because my mom and dad are taller than my cousins mom and dad. My grandma and my mom like to eat healthy food. They talk about what is healthy to eat and they dont have much junk food at home. Grandpa doesnt always eat healthy though and he takes me to McDonalds for breakfast sometimes. I love McDonalds.

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When I was in second grade I had an hour and a half of homework every school night, so every night my mom and I would fight about getting my homework done. My mom was in school and she wanted me to do well so she would spend every evening trying to get me to focus long enough to get my homework done. I didnt want to sit down and do it. I was in school all day and I wanted to run around and play when I got home. I paid attention in class and I didnt want to sit down at home and pay attention all night (Berger, 2010, Ch. 7, p.243). My mom finally said she wasnt going to fight about it anymore so if I would focus for a half hour that would be enough and then I could play. She told my teacher I needed play time also. After that it was much better at home. My mom got married again when I was eight years old and I was very excited to have a full time dad. I call him dad and he does a lot of things with me. We live at my new dads house. We have two dogs and we brought our cat to live with us. Now I have chores that I have to do to help out. My mom and dad say that helping with chores is part of being a family so I dont mind. It makes me feel good to help. I do miss living with my grandparents but I love having both a mom and dad now. I also have another set of grandparents that live close to us and they do things with me. My mom says that you can never have too many grandparents. I still go to see my dad in Tennessee every year or so, but when I am away I miss my home. When I come home from my dads, I have a hard time settling back into things, but once I settle down I am happier. I miss the rules and chores that I have to do at home. I like having a routine. In third grade my mom enrolled me in a new school. She liked the way they taught. There was not as much emphasis on testing and more on the individual children (Berger, 2010, Ch.7, p.260). Most of the kids in my school were very nice. My teachers really emphasized including everyone. They talked about making friends with new kids that come to our school and to always watch out for anyone who is alone. Everyone wanted to be the first to make new friends because it was cool (Berger, 2010, Ch.8, p. 296-297). I have lots of kids I play with at school and I like them but I have one very best friend that I go to church with. We play together

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every weekend even though we dont go to the same school. She lives down the s treet from us and we have been best friends since I was eight years old (Berger, 2010, Ch. 8, p.292). My middle school was part of the charter school I went to from third through sixth grade. There were more kids than my elementary but maybe only twice as many. I still knew a lot of the kids and I even knew a few of my teachers that had moved over to the middle school from my elementary school. I talked with my mom about her middle school experience and she said she had a very hard time adjusting. Her middle school was seventh, eighth and ninth grades and it was huge. My mom didnt know many of the kids and she wanted very badly to fit in, but she didnt want to try out for any teams because she was afraid she might fail. So she didnt even try. She said that was when she started smoking and drinking because those kids were cool and she could be a part of their group (Berger, 2010, Ch.9, p.335). I really liked middle school and after talking with my mom I think one of the reasons was that it wasnt set up that differently from elementary school. My classes were smaller and I was part of the debate, volleyball and basketball teams (Berger, 2010, Ch.9, p.343). High School was a little harder for me than middle school. I went to the local high school because my charter didnt have a high school. I did know kids from my middle school and from going to church. I tried out for several teams and made it on some of them. It was much more competitive than middle school. My grades are pretty good but maybe not good enough for scholarships and I dont have any idea what I want to do. Everyone says that is alright because I have two years of general education classes that I will have to take in college first (Berger, 2010, Ch.10, p. 349).

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I was only seventeen when I graduated from high school. An August baby. My whole senior year was spent thinking about what I wanted to do when I graduated, but I didnt realize it would all happen so quickly. My options at the time were to go to a church college in Idaho, the University of Utah or a local community college. My grades were pretty good, but definitely not good enough for scholarships out of state. My parents couldnt afford to pay for out of state tuition. They told me to get my bachelors degree here in Utah and then maybe a Masters degree out of state if I wanted. I decided to go college in Idaho. My mom was very worried that I would end up married in a year, but I was already thinking that I wanted to go on a mission for my church when I was nineteen (Berger, 2010, Ch.10, p.349). I am not sure whether my mom was relieved that I had finally made up my mind about something or worried that I might come home from my mission a fanatic. She didnt go to church and I dont t hink she quite understood why I would want to take a year and a half off from college. My mom told me later that she was just very concerned that I might not be motivated to go back to school when I got home. When I was in high school, I took a couple of years of Spanish and on my mission I was able to speak Spanish all the time. By the time I came home I was pretty fluent and it was fun to be able to talk to people in my neighborhood who were Spanish speaking. I started doing volunteer work as an interpreter for a free medical clinic that my aunt had been volunteering at for years. I loved it! While I was a teenager, I had attended some homebirths with my mom to help her out, but I didnt think it was something I wanted to make a career of. I am not sure whether it was the feeling I got helping people at the clinic or going with my mom to births again, but I decided I wanted to go into medicine (Berger, 2010, Ch.10, p.352). My mom and stepdad kept telling me to go all the way and become a doctor. Before my mission, I would have thought they were crazy. Becoming a doctor was way too much work. But I learned how to work harder than I could have imagined on my mission. I lived at home for a while and took premed classes at the University of Utah. Family practice was the specialty I finally decided on. It provided a diversity of practice that many other specialties didnt have.

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While I was doing my residency, my grandmother died. As a doctor, I had been exposed to death many times, but I had never experienced the death of someone that I loved. It hit me much harder than I expected. With the stress of that and the stress of residency I became quite depressed. I was able to function in school, but it was clear to me and to my family that I was really struggling to stay afloat (Berger, 2010, Ch.11, p.406). My mother had suffered from depression most of her life. She started taking antidepressants when she was a teenager and is still on them. She told me that when she was younger she tried several times to get off of them but couldnt. My grandmother told her not to worry about having to take medication, but to be grateful to live in a time when depression is treatable. I think this attitude made me accept that I needed to get help and that I couldnt just power through on my own. The death of my grandmother and my problems with depression made me appreciate my family and extended family in a way I never had before. They were always there when I needed something and often just encouraged me with what I wanted to do (Berger, 2010, Ch.11, p.414). Going to medical school and then doing my residency left me little time for dating. I did go on the occasional date that friends would set me up on. You know the kind. You are just perfect for each other. You have so much in common. I was not very interested in any of them and didnt consider them to be husband or father of my children material. Everyone told me I was getting too picky, but I thought that if I was going to be married forever, I should be picky. After I finished my residency, I signed up for an online dating site. I knew quite a few people who had been successful meeting someone online, including my mom and stepdad. After a few misses, I finally met someone that I thought I could spend the rest of my life with. David and I dated for about a year, getting to know each other and our respective families (Berger, 2010, Ch.11, p.413). We were married when I was thirty three years old and David was thirty one years old. We had already talked about starting a family right away because if we wanted more than one child, we wanted to have them before I was in my late thirties. I have known many women to have babies into their early forties, but there are definitely increased risks. David had a very flexible work schedule and could often work from home, so he was the stay at home

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dad while our two kids were younger (Berger, 2010, Ch.13, p.483). I was able to keep up my family practice and David was more patient that I was, so it worked out great. David and I have exercised out most of our lives. We bought our home in an area that had great biking and hiking trails, as well as a variety of parks (Berger, 2010, Ch.12, p.429). This was a perfect choice for an active lifestyle and for being able to do things outdoors with the kids. During the years our kids were growing up, David started a photography business. He specialized in childrens candid portraits and became very expert at catching children in their natural environment. He seemed to intuitively know just the right moment and angle to capture a childs personality on camera (Berger, 2010, Ch.12, p.444-445). As I mentioned in the first half of my biography, my personality has always been pretty assertive. David and I have definitely had our disagreements through the years. As we have gotten older, I think both of us have mellowed some (Berger, 2010, Ch.13, p.461). We seem to have come to an understanding that we dont have to agree on everything and that its alright for us to have different views. David and I had talked about what we might want to do after our kids were grown. We both agreed that we would love to participate in some service projects in different parts of the world. As we approached our mid-sixties, I started to delegate more of my practice to other doctors, so I could free up time to travel with David. We were able to go on two humanitarian trips before we had a crisis with our youngest daughter. She had married a young man that we all just loved and they had one son. He came to her and told her he was gay and could not continue with their marriage. She was devastated as were we. When we talked with our son-inlaw, he felt terrible. He said that he wanted to marry and have a family so badly that he thought he could change his sexual preference. But in the long run, he couldnt. He didnt want to deceive our daughter any longer and felt that divorce was the right choice. David and I stayed home for the next year to help support our daughter.

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David was an only child and his mother was a widow. Davids father had died when David was in his early twenties. When it became obvious that she was not going to be able to live on her own any longer, David wanted his mom to come and live with us. We talked about what it would take to care for her, but decided it would be the right thing to do. Davids mom could get her own food if we kept things around that were easy to fix, but we couldnt leave her alone over-night. We hired a CNA to come and stay with her when we wanted to get away for a couple of nights (Berger, 2010, Ch.13, p.477). My stepdad had a series of small strokes over a few days and then passed away. We were all shocked that it happened so quickly because he had always been in such good health (Berger, 2010, Ch.14, p.502). In the end though, we were grateful that it was quick and he didnt have to linger around suffering. My mom was pretty out of it for a while after my stepdad died, but she eventually recovered. I had always thought of my mother as a young older person as she had always been very active and had continued to practice midwifery until she was in her seventies (Berger, 2010, Ch.14, p.499). She did a lot of walking and loved to care for her garden at home. She had a group of women that she has been friends with for years, midwives who were also retired. I think the activity and friendship helped her get through the loss of my stepdad and move forward after a while (Berger, 2010, Ch.15, p.547). My mom was always a great source of wisdom for our daughters. They would come to her whenever they needed to talk. She would listen and not judge (Berger, 2010, Ch.15, p.550). She claimed that she had done too many things to be able to judge anyone else. Davids mom lived with us for nine years. It was not until the last year that that she was alive that she had to have continual care. Fortunately for us, our daughters and even some of their cousins pitched in to help so that we didnt fe el completely overwhelmed. David was very glad that he could repay his mom in some way for the wonderful care she took of him while he was growing up (Berger, 2010, Ch. 15, p.555). My mom is still going strong, even though she is in her nineties. It is hard to believe that time has gone by so fast. David and I didnt end up traveling like we thought we would, but we have found opportunities to volunteer around

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home. We still go walking and hiking together and spend time spoiling our grandchildren. I know the day will come when one of us will pass away. Right now though, I just appreciate our marriage, family and home. My life overall has been a very satisfying journey and I am not ready to be done yet.

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References Berger, Kathleen E., Invitation to the Lifespan, 2010, Worth Publishers, New York, New York http://women.smokefree.gov/smoking,-labor,-delivery-its-complicated.aspx