Robert Green- Practicum Self Evaluation paper

Today marked the culmination of my practicum experience. As I reflect on some of the

goals that I had going into the spring semester, I feel that I have accomplished more than I
initially envisioned. In particular, I want to write about my experience working with the adult
substance abuse population as I feel that I havent focused on that as much in writing solely
about my individual client for tape reviews. Through my exposure to this group, I have gained a
much greater understanding and appreciation of conceptualization of addiction and treatment.
One of my primary goals for my practicum experience was to practice acknowledging
and reflecting feelings as they arise during sessions. I realized that this was an area for growth
on last semester during our mock triad sessions in basic skills class. Dr. Debbie sat in during one
of my sessions when I was in the counseling role. My triad partner recalled a recent altercation
with a family member following the funeral of her grandmother. As she recalled what was
making her upset about the situation I noticed a theme of her feeling left out by her family. At
the end of the session, I thought it went very well as I was able to reflect meaning and stay with
my triad partner during the session. Dr. Debbie commended me for reflecting meaning well, but
pointed out a glaring omittance on my part in reflecting obvious feelings that were inherent in
my triad partners story. Prior to Dr. Debbie noticing my avoidance of the topic of feelings, I
never really thought on the importance of acknowledging feelings. My propensity during
sessions was toward gaining better insight on why the feelings were there. I was thankful to Dr.
Debbie for her constructive critique, because it forced me to examine myself and my reasons for
discomfort around acknowledging feelings. I realized that my beliefs about feelings were that
they primarily served as hindrances to understanding the root of a problem, or that they were
unhelpful in going beyond surface level topics with a client. On the contrary, Ive found that
acknowledging feelings can lead to even greater insight for clients and can strengthen the
counseling relationship as the client feels better understood.
After coming to the realization that I was avoiding feelings, I made a conscious effort to
acknowledge them during sessions with clients. As this semester progressed, I found the skill of
reflecting feelings to be a growing strength of mine, and something that I do more naturally
during sessions. Furthermore, my efforts in acknowledging feelings were very helpful when I
facilitated groups with adult substance abusers.
Interestingly, facilitating a group was one of the most anxiety provoking aspects of the
practicum experience at the beginning of the semester. Not only that, but working with
substance abusers was an area that was completely outside of my comfort zone initially. I think
my biggest fears were that I would not know what to say, and that I would be singled out as a
gullible inexperienced novice that the group members could easily manipulate. So, when I first
arrived to the groups I relished the opportunity to observe and not speak much outside of a brief
introduction. However, during those first couple days of observing group I found myself
wanting to speak up at points when I noticed reactions from group members around the subjects
being presented that day. As I felt more comfortable, I spoke with Wanda about what I was
seeing with the guys in the group. She was surprisingly very supportive, advised me to trust my
instincts, and allowed me to pose my observations to the group and elicit their feedback. Hence,
I was able to find my niche in working with the group as I reflected and processed the emotional
reactions within the moment during groups. Finding that niche helped build my confidence
about my group processing competence and helped me develop a better conceptualization about
the development of substance abuse in clients.
One particular powerful experiential activity demonstrated the developmental stages of
substance abuse beginning with childhood substance usage going into adulthood. The activity
comprised of three group members that were spread out across the room in a line with each
member holding a sign designating their developmental stage in a lifeline as child, teen, and
adult. Wanda gave descriptions of each stage and the messages associated with each stage both
from society as well as family. For example, some of the messages and expectations from
society for teenagers are that you should do well in school, begin to date, and learn to drive a car.
As the group members watched this activity, it was clear that many of them were able to
see themselves along the timeline and heard many of the same messages from people in society
as well as their family members. Wanda pointed out that while receiving these messages the
teen substance user feels guilt and resentment for being unable to live up to societal expectations.
Thus, they turn more towards using substances as a means to cope with heightened anxiety and
emotional discomfort. The effect of anxiety and emotional discomfort is compounded as the
expectations from society and family increase with age. Yet, the drugs used to cope with those
emotions stunt cognitive development and have likely prevented achievement of important
developmental milestones as a youth that precursor societal expectations of adults.
During this activity, I was able to take note of the reactions from group members and
later process how the activity affected each of them. I was also able to process additional
emotional themes such as anger, which seemed to be the most easily recognizable emotion by
members of the group. Through processing the emotion of anger, we were able to progress the
discussion to understanding the importance of emotional attachment in early childhood and how
that played a role in the lives of many of the group members. A number of the group members
expressed that they remembered their parents as being emotionally distant, but never viewed that
as having an effect on their use of substances until then. One member of the group disclosed that
his father was abusive towards his mother and emotionally abusive towards him as a child. He
recalled a particularly traumatic event in his early childhood when his father held him up against
a wall with one hand and slammed a hammer near his head with the other. He stated that he still
can clearly recall feeling the wind from the hammer as it hit the wall behind him.
The lesson I learned from the developmental lifespan of a substance abuser activity was
just how powerful acknowledgement of emotions can be. What started as my reflections of
reactions within the moment lead to clients feeling more comfortable to share and express insight
they gained for themselves. Witnessing and being a part of that moment for clients where they
begin to see the world differently gave me a new appreciation for the work of counseling. Prior
to working with Wanda, I had never seen a successful drug treatment program or experienced
client growth in the same manner. Correspondingly, this experience shifted my consideration of
the possibility of a future specialization in substance abuse counseling.
Still, a future goal that Ive developed in working with this population is to learn more
about effective treatment techniques and case conceptualization. I feel that with a greater
repertoire of treatment techniques to call on I could be much more effective in facilitating client
insight into their own issues. I also feel that with a deeper understanding of specific clinical
diagnoses, I can better conceptualize cases and which directions will be most beneficial is
addressing client symptomology.
Overall, I have grown a great deal since beginning practicum this semester. My
confidence in my abilities as a counselor has tremendously increased. Being a part of a
substance abuse group has changed my perception and appreciation for group counseling and
substance abuse specialization. Moreover, I have an increased desire to learn more so that I can
be even more effective in helping people.