Professional Documents
Culture Documents
THE
Kenyas Bold Newspaper
Monday, May 12, 2014
No. 29586
www.standardmedia.co.ke
KSh60/00 TSh1,500/00 USh2,700/00
EAs biggest ever
project rolled out
Cabinet Secretary
for The National
Treasury, Henry
Rotich (right) and
President of the
China Exim Bank,
Li Ruogu sign the
nancing agreement
for the Standard
Gauge Railway at
State House, Nairobi
yesterday. Standing
from left, President
Paul Kagame
(Rwanda), Chinese
Premier Li Keqiang
and Presidents
Uhuru Kenyatta,
Yoweri Museveni
(Uganda), and Salva
Kiir (South Sudan)
witness the signing.
Monday
Kick Off Your Week
The Perfect Way To
Monday STANDARD
Pullout Section B Monday, May 12, 2014
Monday
Kick Off Your Week
The Perfect Way To
Monday STANDARD
Oyunga
Pala:
Theres no such thing as a sworn bachelor; Clooneys getting
married P4
Men & Rejection
Strange men who just cant take a no from women,P8-9
THE PERFECT
WAY TO START
THE WEEK
& MEN
REJECTION
Women who risk HIV to get babies
By GATONYE GATHURA
Most couples in
relationships where only one
individual is infected with HIV
are opting for pregnancy.
The pattern is alarming
because it means they are
having unprotected sex, and
risk passing on the virus to
their unborn children and
uninfected partners.
According to a team of
medical researchers, the
powerful desire to have
children in such unions in
Kenya is so overwhelming
for such couples that it far
outweighs the risk of infecting
the unborn child as well as the
Strange men who just cant
take a no from women, P.8-9
The blue half of Manchester parties all night to the tune of Blue Moon
Rising after Manchester City wins English Premier League, PAGE 56
MAN CITY ARE CHAMPIONS!
By GEOFFREY MOSOKU
President Uhuru Kenyatta yesterday
rallied three of his colleagues from the
East African region to witness the historic
signing of the Standard Gauge Railway
deal with the Chinese Government.
Fellow presidents Yoweri Museveni
(Uganda), Paul Kagame (Rwanda) and
Salva Kiir (South Sudan) joined Uhuru at
the signing of the nancing agreement
for the project with Chinese Premier Li
CONTINUED ON PAGE 2
Work on regions
most signicant
investment in 50
years to begin on
October 1 despite
being riddled with
controversy over
its massive cost
CONTINUED ON PAGE 6
Sh33b
Amount Kenya
will spend on
new railway
609km
Length of rst phase
of railway from
Mombasa to Nairobi
Sh298b
What Exim Bank
of China will give
for railway
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Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard Page 2 / NATIONAL NEWS
Keqiang.
Work on the project begins on Oc-
tober 1 and will take 42 months. Dep-
uty President William Ruto also wit-
nessed the signing for what will be the
Jubilee governments and East Africas
biggest infrastructure project to date,
designed to modernise the regions rail
transport.
The $3.8 billion (Sh331 billion un-
der current exchange rates) project
has been mired in controversy about
allegations of irregularities in the pro-
curement process but two parliamen-
tary committees, Transport and Public
Investment Committees- cleared the
project on time for the ceremony to
put pen to paper.
Kenya will foot 10 per cent (Sh33
billion) of the cost with Exim Bank of
China paying the remaining 90 per
cent (Sh298 billion).
Phase One of the project from
Mombasa to Nairobi will be 609km.
The next phase will stretch to Kigali in
Rwanda and Juba in South Sudan.
Yesterday, Sudans Transport, Roads
and Bridges Minister Koug Danhier
Gatluak, Ugandas Minister of State for
Works and Transport John Byabagam-
bi, Rwandas Infrastructure Minister
Prof. Silas Lwakakamba and Kenyas
Transport Minister Michael Kamau
appended their signatures to the
deal.
The project will see construction of
a modern high-speed, high capacity
standard gauge railway for passengers
and freight. The project is aimed at
providing efcient and cost effective
rail transport for both freight and pas-
sengers to reduce the cost of doing
business and make Kenya a competi-
tive business hub for the East African
region and beyond.
LAGGED BEHIND
Passenger trains will have a speed
of 120km per hour while those for
freight will be designed to move at 80
kilometers an hour.
It will take passengers four hours
and 30 minutes to travel from Mom-
basa to Nairobi at a projected speed of
120km per hour, while freight will take
eight hours. President Uhuru de-
scribed the signing of the deal as a
milestone in improving infrastructural
development in the region, which has
lagged behind for centuries.
The relationship between our-
selves and China is based on mutual
trust, because we are pursuing inclu-
sive development and promoting in-
ventive practical cooperation, he
said.
Under the deal signed yesterday,
the four countries agreed on a har-
monised policy, legal and institutional
framework for SGR. They also agreed
to co-operate and co-ordinate human
resource capacity building, joint mo-
bilisation of nancial resources and
ensuring sufcient budgetary alloca-
tion and funding mechanisms.
The decision-making organs of the
protocol are the Joint Ministerial Com-
Chinas inuence
in Kenya
TRADE PARTNERS
mittee, the SGR Commission and the
Joint Technical Committee.
The Joint Ministerial Committee
comprises Transport Ministers of the
four countries and its functions in-
clude promoting, monitoring, review-
ing and implementing all programmes
and projects for the development and
operation of SGR.
The SGR Commission is made up
of Permanent/Principal Secretaries re-
sponsible for Transport/Infrastruc-
ture, the Secretaries to the Treasury
and the Solicitors General or their
equivalent.
Political undertones characterised
the signing of the protocol as Presi-
dents Uhuru and Museveni hinted at
the debate about West-East relations
with the continent.
It is enough to say that we are
deeply grateful for the help that we
have received, both from China and
from our neighbours. But it is not
enough to rest content with what we
will achieve. The Peoples Republic of
China will soon be the worlds largest
economy. Its return, after two centu-
ries, to that position has lessons to
teach us, not least that infrastructure
matters, Uhuru said.
INEQUALITY
President Uhuru said that whereas
former colonial powers were commit-
ted to inequality of treatment, division
and distrust, the relationship between
Africa and China is founded, on four
basic principles: treating each other
sincerely and equally; consolidating
solidarity and mutual trust; jointly
pursuing inclusive development; and
promoting inventive practical cooper-
ation between our countries.
Keqiang said the signing of the -
nancing agreement of the deal is a ma-
jor milestone in enhancing the part-
nership between Africa and China.
This project demonstrates that
there is equal cooperation and mutual
benet between China and the East
African countries, and the railway is a
very important part of transport infra-
structure development, Li said.
Ugandas President Museveni who
spoke on behalf of the East African
leaders lauded China for supporting
the project, with no conditions im-
posed by other development part-
ners.
He said that after the Chinese Com-
munist Party took over power in 1949,
China has remained a true friend to
Africa helping African countries to
ght off colonialism and remained its
partner unlike the western countries
that give with conditions.
China is concentrating on real is-
sues. They dont give lectures on how
to run local governments and other is-
sues I dont want to mention, he
said.
DP Ruto later led the Chinese pre-
mier to tour the National Youth Service
to which the Chinese Government has
pledged to donate equipment. Li Keq-
iang said it was important for Kenya to
have many of such institutes to train
the youth to serve their country.
Continued from P1
FROM CHINA WITH CASH
Presidents Yoweri Museveni,
Paul Kagame and Salva Kiir
witnessed signing of the $3.8
billion (Sh331 billion under cur-
rent exchange rate) Standard
Gauge Railway deal with the
Chinese Government
Kenya will foot 10 per cent
(Sh33 billion) of the cost with
Exim Bank of China paying the
remaining 90 per cent (Sh298
billion)
Under the deal signed yester-
day, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda
and South Sudan agreed on a
harmonised policy, legal and
institutional framework for
SGR
Standard gauge railway deal
By STANDARD REPORTER
The signing of the $3.8 billion
(Sh331billion) Standard Gauge Rail-
way nancing agreement yesterday
capped a weekend of goodies for Ke-
nya from China as the two nations
signed a record 17 agreements.
Among the deals were a Sh8.84 bil-
lion upgrade of Kenyas electricity-
generation infrastructure, and inter-
est-free loans and grants worth Sh4
billion. An agreement was also
reached for the provision of millions
of shillings in equipment to the Kenya
Wildlife Services to partially fund the
protection of Kenyas natural heri-
tage.
The concessional loan agreement
on Nairobis 132 KV and 66 KV net-
work upgrade reinforcement phase II
project will see the Chinese Govern-
ment provide support to increase sup-
ply of electricity.
An agreement on the Economic
and Technical Cooperation will see
the Government of Kenya receive
grants from the Chinese Govern-
ment.
A number of memorandums of
understanding were also signed be-
tween the Kenya and China. These in-
clude one between Kenyas Ministry of
Transport and Infrastructure and the
Ministry of Commerce of the Peoples
Republic of China on Aviation Coop-
eration. It provides for Chinas sup-
port to Kenyas aviation sector includ-
ing construction and upgrading of
airports.
FIGHT DISEASES
On agriculture it provides for co-
operation between the two countries
to boost food security in Kenya and a
health deal will facilitate Chinas sup-
port to boost Kenyas target of improv-
ing the health sector by scaling up the
ght against diseases including ma-
laria.
Other agreements covered nanc-
ing for small and medium enterprises
(SMEs) in eastern and southern Afri-
ca, and for the aviation sector.
Transport and Infrastructure Cab-
inet Secretary Michael Kamau said
the country would spend Sh247 mil-
lion per kilometre, (at current ex-
change rate) on the standard gauge
railway.
If this rst phase rate is main-
tained for the second phase of the
project between Nairobi to Malaba
with a branch line to Kisumu, then
Kenyans will have to part with about
Sh250 billion more. The total length of
the SGR line is about 1,250km.
Kenya, China
sign a record 17
agreements
President Uhuru Kenyatta with China Prime Minister Li Keqiang and Deputy
President William Ruto on a tour during Lis ofcial visit to Kenya. [PHOTO:
PSCU]
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Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard NATIONAL NEWS / Page 3
Chinas inuence
in Kenya TRADE PARTNERS
By GEOFFREY MOSOKU
The Chinese Government has
pledged to support Kenya in food
production.
Chinese Prime Minister Li Keq-
iang said his Government would as-
sist in seed production and irriga-
tion.
He spoke when he met Deputy
President William Ruto at his
Harambee House Annex ofce.
We believe that what should not
happen to us should not happen to
another person. Hunger is not good
and thats why we will assist you im-
prove food production, Mr Keqiang
said.
He said Chinese companies
would invest in agriculture technol-
ogy in Kenya.
The Chinese Government also
directed its Foreign Ministry and
embassy in Nairobi to ensure the
three million visitors to Kenya per
year is realised. I have instructed
our foreign minister and embassy
here to make sure that visits by our
people to your country reaches
three million. The Deputy Presi-
dent said Kenya will expand food
production through irrigation to en-
sure it has enough reserves.
SECURITY SYSTEM
Mr Ruto also said the Govern-
ment was modernising its security
equipment and infrastructure and
asked the Chinese Government to
assist.
The two leaders also discussed
the security situation in South Su-
dan and Somalia, with China saying
it would assist the region restore or-
der in those countries.
Mr Keqiang said President Salva
Kiir had assured him that the cease-
re agreement signed two days ago
in Addis Ababa would hold. China
hopes to see stability in this region
and we will assist in this endeav-
our. Mr Ruto also took Keqiang on
a tour of the National Youth Service.
The Chinese Government also
pledged to donate equipment to the
NYS.
The Prime Minister said it was
important for Kenya to have several
such institutions to train the youth
to serve their country.
Meanwhile, President Uhuru Ke-
nyatta has said Kenya recognises its
special role in strengthening ties be-
tween Africa and China. He said his
Government is conscious of the
need to consolidate existing part-
nerships to realise an all-inclusive
and mutually benecial develop-
ment.
China offers to throw weight behind
food production in war against hunger
Finally, Look East policy pays off
as State enters 17 trade pacts
W
e told you!
We can now agree that
the Governments devo-
tion to a Look East policy has paid
off big time. This campaign has util-
ised all of Jubilees best qualities: vi-
sionary governance, pragmatic diplo-
macy and the deployment of policies
underpinned by a transformative phi-
losophy.
By the conclusion of the Chinese
State visit, Government had entered
an unprecedented 17 bilateral deals,
covering 4 key sectors and worth over
500 billion shillings. In the event, Ke-
nya virtually became the headquarters
of China in Africa. Coupled with the
scramble by other global players to le-
verage Kenyas strategic position, it is
no longer a matter of debate that we
are an important player in our region,
continent and the world.
This spectacular coup was not for-
tuitous in any way. No global power
goes around throwing about money
like confetti just for the heck of it.
Money represents value. This invest-
ment, besides indicating the focus and
industry expended politically and dip-
lomatically, gives an accurate assess-
ment of Kenyas stature and clout. We
have been underestimated too much
for too long. Anyone saying that Kenya
should continue to play in the Peanut
League is clearly in urgent need of les-
sons in intellectual honesty.
Similarly, anyone suggesting that
we must yoke our policies and plans
to the vagaries ideology and post-co-
lonial dynamics truly detests prog-
ress.
EFFICIENT TRANSPORT
To illustrate the magnitude of the
transformative impact of the Look
East policy, consider the Standard
Gauge Railway (SGR) deal. Oh yes! The
SGR is a reality now, whose construc-
tion is set to commence on October 1,
and in a short 42 months, will have
reached the Embakasi Internal Con-
tainer Depot.
The trains running on this railway
will carry cargo at 80k/ph, and passen-
gers at 120k/ph. This means that a
businessman will have his breakfast in
Nairobi and be at the Port of Momba-
sa in 4 hours to load cargo onto a train,
then be on hand to take delivery in
Nairobi that same evening. Ask your
local business person what that means.
Aside from obvious economic acceler-
ation, governance and national cohe-
sion will benet a great deal. This proj-
ect will come with 56 locomotives,
1,620 freight wagons and 40 passenger
coaches. It will haul two containers,
one atop the other at great speed
across the country.
The railway will open up the coun-
try and the region, create 60 jobs per
kilometre, reduce the cost of goods
and services by over 60 per cent and
radically transform the port of Mom-
basa. In short, it is a classic Jubilee sort
of deal. What gives us all hope, is that
it will come from China.
BILATERAL PARTNER
Without denying or belittling the
contribution of any bilateral partner,
China happens to have a spectacular-
ly impressive implementation Curric-
ulum Vitae in Kenya, Africa and the
rest of the world. Our partnerships
have traditionally culminated in grand
and magnicent public utilities: the
Kasarani Stadium, hospitals, roads
and more roads throughout the coun-
try fall among 80 projects at various
stages of execution. Many donors in-
vest in invisible programmes and soft
projects that come at high cost and
give debatable value back.
The noise makers, naysayers and
sundry prophets of doom must not
stop talking. We want to hear what
they will say next. It will be interesting
to see their next intellectual contor-
tions as they rail against reality. The
SGR is now an inescapable reality. A gi-
gantic, stubborn, uninching fact star-
ing all doubters in the face. Many crit-
ics have asked this one question using
different words and languages: what is
it with Africa and China? Our response
like all excellent answers, is breathtak-
ingly succinct: More Business, Less
Ideology.
Commentary by Munyori Buku,
Dennis Itumbi, James Kinyua, Em-
manuel Talam and Eric Ngeno of the
Presidential Strategic Communica-
tions Unit at State House.
Deputy President William Ruto and Ugandan President Yoweri Museve-
ni in State House, Nairobi after the signing of the Standard Gauge
Railway agreements yesterday. [PHOTO: MBUGUA KIBERA/STANDARD]
Comment
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard Page 4 / NATIONAL NEWS
By RAWLINGS OTIENO
China, in collaboration with a
United Nations agency, will assist
African and Asian countries com-
bat climate change.
Chinese Premier Li Keqiang
and United Nations (UN) Under-
Secretary-General and United
Nations Environment Programme
(UNEP) Executive Director Achim
Steiner signed a high-level agree-
ment to help battle global warm-
ing.
UNEP and China agreed to
harness their strengths, capaci-
ties and resources to assist coun-
tries of the Global South combat
the devastating effects of global
warming.
Since 2008, UNEP and China
have collaborated with countries
across Africa and Asia on climate
adaptation projects funded by the
Global Environment Facility and
the Government of China.
Premier Li and Mr Steiner dis-
cussed efforts to accelerate Chi-
nas transition to an inclusive
Green Economy, the Premiers
newly declared war on air pollu-
tion and the top issues on the
agenda of the rst-ever UN Envi-
ronment Assembly, due to be held
in Nairobi, next month.
China has contributed Sh510
million (US $6 million) to the
UNEP trust fund and will con-
tinue to make contributions to
that fund into the future, said Li
Keqiang.
Mr Steiner said the new agree-
ment sent another powerful mes-
sage that China was committed to
combating climate change.
Joint bid to
ght global
warming
China, Europe battle to charm Kenya
By WINSLEY MASESE
Prior to the European Union-Afri-
ca summit in Brussels early last
month, head of delegation to Kenya
Lodewijk Briet played down the inu-
ence of China in Kenya and by exten-
sion, Africa.
He noted that despite the growing
inuence of China in Africa, the
union still remains a credible devel-
opment partnership.
Compared to China and India,
which are often depicted as impor-
tant trading partners, East Africas
total exports to these countries is less
than 2 per cent, he said.
Briet noted that they have em-
barked on programmes to boost trade
volumes in favour of Kenya.
We need to move from aid to
trade as a signicant tool to ght and
eradicate poverty, he stated at a past
media brieng.
As African heads of states gathered
in Brussels, experts at the time fore-
cast that China would not close its
eyes but monitor closely the meeting
also attended by President Uhuru
Kenyatta.
A month later, the Chinese gov-
ernment came calling, sending the
loudest message that they are a true
partner.
During his State visit to Kenya at
the weekend, Chinese Prime Minister
Li Keqiang was asked by a reporter
what his country plans to do to en-
sure trade imbalance against Kenya is
bridged. We will take steps to correct
As EU seeks to iron
out issues that impede
trade pacts with EAC,
PM Li Keqiangs visit
speaks volumes
manufacture goods that show their
strengths and are in a position to
meet the Chinese needs, he noted.
On the other hand, the EU is
keenly watching the developments
between Kenya and China to gets
insights on how to iron out some is-
sues that stand in the path towards
signing Economic Partnership Agree-
ments between East Africa Commu-
nity and the European Union.
MANUFACTURING BASE
A week or so from today, the East
African Community and the EU re-
turn to the negotiating table to thrash
out some of the contentious issues
holding back better trade agreements
between the two blocs.
Under the Economic Partnership
Agreements, there are three conten-
tious issues that have held back the
signing of trade agreements with the
union, down from nine.
And when the Chinese Premier is
taken around some of the key infra-
structural projects his country has
participated in, he will nod in appre-
ciation that they are incomparable to
those from the West.
In the current issue of the China
Daily, Standard Chartered China
Chief Executive Jerry Zhang writes:
Trade is only the start of the current
phase of the China-Africa story.
He says as the partnership evolves,
Africa is set to emerge as a key manu-
facturing base for Chinas top compa-
nies. It would also be a plus for China
that when a Head of State of the sec-
ond largest economy in the world
visits Kenya, the message is loud and
clear to the other economies.
For we are yet to see a similar ges-
ture from the West, who are Kenyas
former development allies.
WHO IS NOW THE
MIGHTIEST OF THEM ALL?
A week or so from today, the
East African Community and the
European Union return to the
negotiating table to thrash out
some of the contentious issues
holding back better trade agree-
ments between the two blocs
Under the Economic Partner-
ship Agreements, there are
three contentious issues that
have held back the signing of
trade agreements with the
union, down from nine
But at the weekend, Kenya and
China signed an agreement on
the fnancing of the frst phase
of the Standard Gauge Railway
project
The frst phase of the proj-
ect will cover 609.3 kilometres,
from the port of Mombasa to
Nairobi and will cost Sh314.2
billion, with 90 per cent of the
fnancing coming from Chinas
Exim Bank while the remain-
ing 10 per cent will be from the
Government of Kenya
trade imbalances because if they per-
sist, achieving sustainable growth
would be very difcult, said the Chi-
nese premier.
To achieve this, he urged Chinese
companies to boost the manufactur-
ing sector in Kenya and raise the ca-
pacity of local products to compete
favourably in the Chinese market.
The PM encouraged Kenyan com-
panies to participate in trade fairs in
China to showcase their best prod-
ucts in China.
Kenyan companies need to
Chinese Prime Minister Li Keqiang speaks at State House, Nairobi, after the
signing of the standard gauge railway agreement. China pledged to assist fund
the project that will link all East African countries. [PHOTO: MBUGUA KIBERA/
STANDARD]
Chinas inuence
in Kenya TRADE PARTNERS
VACANCY ANNOUNCEMENT CANCELLATION
Referance is made to the advertisement that appeared on 2
nd
May 2014 in the standard newspaper .
Please note that the vacancies advertised have been cancelled
and will be re-advertised. The public and anyone else interested
is encouraged to reapply.
Any inconvenience is regretted.
Thank you.
Ole Kamuaro
Speaker Narok County Assembly/Chairman-
County Assembly Service Board.
NAROK COUNTY ASSEMBLY
NAROK COUNTY ASSEMBLY SERVICE BOARD
CORRECTION
(MOTOR VEHICLE INSPECTORS)
Refer to the National Transport and Safety
Authority vacancies Advertisement dated
9
th
May, 2014. We would like to correct the
qualication for Motor Vehicle Inspectors to
read as follows:-
Requirement of Appointment
For appointment to this grade, a candidate
must have:
i. Ordinary or Higher Diploma in Mechanical
Engineering (Automotive);
ii. Five (5) years experience on Motor Vehicle
repairs and body works;
iii. Valid Driving License; and
iv. Prociency in Computer
DIRECTOR GENERAL
PUBLIC NOTICE
Notice is hereby given that there will
be a Special County Assembly
Meeting on Monday, 12th May, 2014
at 2.30pm at the County Assembly
Hall, to receive the Senators Briefng
CS. Tubman Otieno
COUNTY ASSEMBLY CLERK
MOMBASA COUNTY ASSEMBLY
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
Page 5
Discordant couples risk
HIV/Aids to have babies
uninfected partner.
This is a serious challenge
in a country with an estimated
340,000 discordant couples
most of whom have strong de-
sires to have a rst or a next
child, says Kenneth Ngure of
Jomo Kenyatta University.
The team, which included
researchers from Kenyatta Na-
tional Hospital and the Univer-
sity of Washington, US, inves-
tigated 18 discordant couples
attending a HIV research pro-
gramme in Thika, Central Ke-
nya.
The couples were partici-
pating in a study where the un-
infected partner was put on a
daily antiretroviral pill to see
whether having the medica-
tion in the bloodstream would
protect them against infec-
tion.
During the trials, Dr Ngure
explains, all participants re-
ceived counselling on how to
reduce the risk of HIV infec-
tion, free condoms, and had
access to contraceptives.
Although most of the cou-
ples were aware of the in-
creased risk of virus transmis-
sion, almost all reported that
they had intentionally become
pregnant and that the desire
for children superseded any
HIV risk considerations, said
Ngure.
PLANNED PREGNANCIES
All but one couple in the
study was married and the ma-
jority had at least one child be-
fore conceiving in the current
situation.
It emerged very clearly
that these pregnancies were
not accidental but deliberate,
with couples mutually agree-
ing to discontinue the use of
contraceptives including con-
doms in order to get pregnant,
explained Ngure.
Talking to The Standard
yesterday about the ndings
published in the journal Aids
Care, Ngure said the desire to
have the rst or another child
is very strong in these unions
normally called discordant
couples.
The observations suggest
that simply encouraging such
couples to abstain from having
children is not realistic be-
cause, they knowingly take on
the risks of transmission in or-
der to have children.
One of the major reasons
for wanting children, explains
the researchers especially
among couples where the only
child or children are from an-
other union is the desire for
the other partner to have his or
her own biological children.
Other reasons include the
desire to reach a preferred fam-
ily size as well as maintaining
partnership stability, especial-
ly for women. Some couples al-
so said they needed the next
child to name after ones par-
ents, a common custom in the
region.
Although the researchers
are unanimous that the deci-
sion to have a child was mutu-
al, a deeper look into the study
shows that this may not to be
the case with a signicant pow-
er balance tilting towards the
males.
When the desire to have a
child in such a relationship is
strongest in the woman, as it
was the case in the study, then
she has to nimbly negotiate,
persuade and plead to bring
the man along.
However, when the shoe is
on the other foot, the man is
said to have intimidated,
threatened and did not fall
short of using some strong lan-
guage.
In such discussions, words
such as must, and force
coupled with threats of aban-
donment if the female partner
did not agree to bear more
children, are reected in the
study.
DIVINE PROTECTION
In addition to satisfying the
desire to get a child and the
pressure of societal expecta-
tions, many of the case study
couples said they felt helpless
and vulnerable.
Uninfected partners were
relieved when they remained
uninfected after unprotected
sex, which for some, reinforced
a belief in divine protection,
says Ngure.
Having been exposed to
such a high calibre research
programme, the 18 couples
had access to information on
technologies that can reduce
the risk of HIV transmission to
the partner.
Such strategies, explains
the lead researcher, include
couples being shown how they
can harvest sperm, in case of
uninfected male, which the
woman can inseminate into
herself at home.
Others include the much
more expensive test-tube baby
technology as well as sperm
washing in case of an infected
male.
BY STEVE MKAWALE AND LEONARD KULEI
Ten people died yesterday and 18 others se-
riously injured in a grisly road accident along the
busy Nakuru-Eldoret highway.
The 3pm accident involving a lorry ferrying
maize to Mombasa and ve other vehicles hap-
pened at the notorious Salgaa black spot.
According to police and witnesses, the lorry
rammed onto three vehicles before colliding
head on with another truck and a saloon car
coming from the opposite direction after its
brakes failed.
Rongai OCPD Joseph Mwamburi said the
driver of the trailer lost control while descend-
ing a steep section of the road and rammed on-
to two matatus and a saloon car before colliding
head on with the truck.
We suspect the driver of the trailer lost con-
trol of the vehicle after the brakes failed, said
Mr Mwamburi.
He added: It is suspected that the driver was
free-wheeling along the steep stretch and
could not control the heavy vehicle when the
brakes failed.
Six occupants of the matatu, including the
driver, died on the spot. The driver of the ill-fat-
ed trailer also died on impact.
Three other passengers succumbed to inju-
ries at the Rift Valley Provincial General Hospital
where they were rushed.
The trailer and the matatu were extensively
damaged in the accident that caused a huge traf-
c snarl up along the busy highway as the St
John Ambulance and the Kenya Red Cross vol-
unteers came to the rescue of the injured.
Police had a rough time trying to control cu-
rious members of the public. Passengers of the
other two matatus hit by the trailer sustained
slight injuries and were rushed to hospital.
Four adults and three children from one of
the matatus were rushed to Molo district, while
11 others were taken to the Rift Valley Provincial
General Hospital.
CRITICAL CONDITION
Kennedy Okello, a clinical ofcer at the hos-
pital, who supervised the rst aid on the casual-
ties, conrmed that three people, including a
child, died upon arrival at the facility.
We received 14 patients but three have since
died. Four children are in critical condition but
we are doing everything to save their lives, said
Mr Okello.
Davis Magafu, a survivor, said: I only re-
member when a speeding trailer hit our lorry
from behind and the driver lost control and
landed in a ditch. I am lucky to have survived.
Among those at the scene of the accident was
the National Transport and Safety Authority Di-
rector Edwin Mukabana who said the authority
was concerned by the rising number of road ac-
cidents involving trucks and trailers.
Ten perish, 18 injured in
accident involving six vehicles
One of the vehicles involved in yesterdays accident along the Nakuru-Eldoret highway after the
driver of a lorry ferrying maize lost control of the trailer. [PHOTO: BONFACE THUKU/STANDARD]
MORE FINDINGS FROM THE STUDY
That most of the couples opted to forgo safety options pro-
vided, as they seemed unpopular with them
A few couples with HIV-uninfected men had received sy-
ringes to try self-insemination, but fnally opted to conceive
naturally, says Ngure
So where does this put the right of a coerced partner or a
child who is infected from such an act? Patrick Kangethe of
KELIN, a local civil group that promotes HIV-related human
rights, said the law in Kenya allows a consenting adult (male
and female) to get married and start a family that they will
care for and protect
Anyone within or outside such a relationship raising issues
of intentional exposure to HIV would have an insurmount-
able burden to prove any wrong doing, says Mr Kangethe
Page 6 / NATIONAL NEWS Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
It emerged
very clearly that
these pregnancies
were not accidental
but deliberate,
with couples
mutually agreeing to
discontinue the use of
contraceptives
DEATH ON THE ROADS
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Continued from P1
By RAWLINGS OTIENO
Primary and secondary school
head teachers who do not hold a di-
ploma in Education Management will
not be allowed to serve as administra-
tors, Education Cabinet Secretary Ja-
cob Kaimenyi has said.
The CS said a diploma programme
has been designed to enable educa-
tion managers to acquire the knowl-
edge, skills, and attitudes necessary
for efcient and effective manage-
ment of education services.
He said teachers who wish to be-
come managers in future must be
equipped with managerial skills to
steer learning institutions and for
proper development of pupils and
students.
We will require teachers who wish
to be managers to attain a Diploma in
Education Management. This is not
an added advantage, but a compo-
nent if you want to be a manager,
said Prof Kaimenyi.
Addressing deputy heads and
principals at the Kenya Education
Management Institute (KEMI),
Kaimenyi said all educational institu-
Head teachers must be re-trained
Cabinet Secretary
says all school heads
must study for a
diploma in Education
Management
tions should have a strategic plan if
meaningful development is to be
achieved in schools.
It has become a principle that the
head teachers and school administra-
tors must be trained in a particular
management course, he said.
The tough-talking CS warned
school heads and their deputies that
they would be dealt with if they do not
implement the various education
policies formulated by the ministry.
He said any school head or principal
found increasing fees unnecessarily
and failing to include students and
teachers in the school management
boards would be prosecuted.
IMPLEMENT POLICIES
The right to be heard is a consti-
tutional right that must be respected.
We will deal with any heads of schools
and principals who do not implement
education policies, he said.
Kaimenyi said education manag-
ers play the most crucial role in ensur-
ing educational policies and initia-
tives are implemented successfully.
This, he said, includes efcient and
effective management of nancial,
human, and material resources in
dynamic environments embodied in
the spirit of Kenyas vision-quality
Education for Development.
The KEMI Diploma in Education
Management will be offered to 10,000
school heads. Some 23,395 principals
and head teachers went through the
KEMI diploma programme last year
and out of these, 85 got a distinction
while 22,612 attained credit.
Education Cabinet Secretary Jacob Kaimenyi (right) and KESSHA National
chairman John Awiti during the national student leaders meeting at Bomas of
Kenya, Nairobi. Prof Kaimenyi said all school heads must obtain a diploma in
education management. [PHOTO: BEVERLYNE MUSILI/STANDARD]
NATIONAL NEWS / Page 7 Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
By JOSEPH MUCHIRI
Thousands of students who are to
be enrolled at Kenyan universities and
colleges this year may miss out on
funding from the Higher Education
Loans Board (Helb) unless the Gov-
ernment increases allocation to the
board.
In the budgetary estimates for -
nancial year 2014/2015, Helb was al-
located Sh5.6 billion, which the board
considers inadequate to effectively
fund all deserving students.
Helb Chief Executive Ofcer
Charles Ringera said from the esti-
mates, the board has a funding gap of
Sh4.5 billion and urged MPs to con-
sider increasing its allocation to en-
able it to nance more students.
The Kenya Universities and Col-
leges Placement Services has an-
nounced that some 70,000 students
will be joining institutions of higher
learning this year and funding them
would cost Sh5 billion, said Ringera.
The students currently enrolled
at universities require Sh6.4 billion.
We are continuously engaging MPs,
particularly the Budget and Education
committees to see if they can give a
higher allocation, he said.
He ruled out the prospect of in-
creasing the loan allocated to each
student, citing budgetary constraints.
Some people wanted it increased by
about Sh20,000 annually.
Helb urges State
to increase
funding
The Insurance Regulatory Authority (IRA) is a government agency established under the Insurance Act
(Amendment) 2006, Cap 487 of the Laws of Kenya to regulate, supervise and develop the Insurance
Industry in Kenya.
The Authority invites sealed bids from eligible frms to tender for the following Services:-
Tender No. Tender Description Pre-Tender Meeting
RA/178/2013-2014 Provision of Website Hosting Services 14
th
May, 2014 at 10:00 a.m
Interested bidders may view the above tender documents from the IRA website (www.ira.go.ke)
or visit the RA Procurement Offce located on 6
th
Floor, Zep-Re Place, Longonot Road, Upperhill,
Nairobi during normal offce hours. nterested and eligible bidders are required to download the tender
documents from the website free of charge and immediately email their names and contact details to:
procurement@ira.go.ke
Complete tender documents should be enclosed in plain sealed envelopes, marked with tender
number and description as described in the tender document and should be deposited in the tender
box situated on 6
th
foor , Zep-Re Place , Longonot Road, Upperhill, Nairobi and addressed to:
Chief Executive Ofhcer
Insurance Regulatory Authority
6
th
hoor Zep-Re Place, Longonot Road, Upperhill
P.O Box 43505-00100
Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone: +254-20-4996000
so as to be received on or before 27
th
May , 2014 at 11:00 a.m.
Tenders will be opened immediately thereafter in the presence of the bidders representatives who may
choose to attend at the Training Room located on 10
th
foor, Zep-Re Place, Longonot Road,Upperhill
, Nairobi.
COMM88ONER OF N8URANCE & CHEF EXECUTVE OFFCER
N8URANCE REGULATORY AUTHORTY
INVITATION TO TENDER
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard Page 8 / NATIONAL NEWS
By GEOFFREY MOSOKU
Former State House Comp-
troller Nelson Githinji is now the
new Director General of the Na-
tional Youth Service (NYS). Dr
Githinji replaces Kiplimo Rugut.
Mr Rugut has been moved to
the ministry of Sports headquar-
ters to await redeployment after
serving for one year at the helm of
NYS.
Yesterday, signs that Githinji is
the new boss at the Ruaraka-
based training base were clear, as
he was in hand to receive Chinese
Premier Li Keqiang who visited
the NYS headquarters.
Premier Li was accompanied
by Deputy President William Ruto.
Rugut was absent from the func-
tion.
Rugut, a long serving provin-
cial administrator was promoted
as NYS boss in April last year from
the former Central Province
where he served as PC. He was
among the administrators who
were close to retired President
Mwai Kibaki.
Planning and Devolution
Cabinet Secretary Anne Waiguru
appointed Githinji, but refused to
divulge reasons for Ruguts re-
moval only saying; It is a normal
exercise to reshufe ofcers
within Government.
Yes, he (Githinji) is the new
director general at NYS, Ms
Waiguru said when asked about
Githinji.
She did not conrm Ruguts
next destination only saying: I
dont know. Ofcers get moved in
Government.
Waiguru and her PS Peter
Mangiti took the Chinese Premier
on a tour of the institution.
Ex-State House
Comptroller
new NYS boss
Disqualify yourselves from
case, Wambora tells senators
By WILFRED AYAGA
Embattled Embu Governor Martin
Wambora now wants the Senate com-
mittee hearing impeachment pro-
ceedings against him to disqualify
itself on grounds that he is not likely
to get a fair hearing.
His lawyer Wilfred Nyamu yester-
day walked away from the hearings
moments after he had asked the com-
mittee members to disqualify them-
selves from the proceedings.
He argued that since it was the
same committee that had handled
the previous proceedings against his
client, it would be improper for the
same members to sit in the current
proceedings.
Mr Nyamu said he had instruc-
tions from his client not to participate
in any further hearings.
The proceedings are based on
substantially same charges, particu-
lars and grounds upon which a com-
mittee comprising of the same mem-
bers of Senate found my client
culpable in the report tabled before
the Senate on February 14, 2014, he
said.
PULL OUT
He added: It is with profound
respect that the respondent in this
matter wishes to state that he shall
not participate any further in the
Embattled Embu
governor says the
Senate committee
members will not give
him fair hearing
proceedings before the committee.
Im instructed not to proceed beyond
where I have reached and to leave it
to the committee to determine if they
will continue hearing the matter.
The committee members are
Chairman Boni Khalwale (Kakamega),
Kipchumba Murkomen (Elgeyo-
Marakwet), Kimani Wamatangi (Ki-
ambu), Zipporah Kittony (Nominat-
ed), Wilfred Leisan (Bomet) and
Naisula Lesuuda (Nominated).
Others are Peter Mositet (Kajiado)
James Orengo (Siaya) Boy Juma Boy
(Kwale), Hargura Godana and Judith
Sijeny (Nominated).
Mr Wambora also wants the com-
mittee to invoke the sub judice rule,
which would prevent it from hearing
a matter that is subject of court pro-
ceedings.
He told the committee that since
he had led an appeal against his
impeachment, the committee should
wait until the court proceedings are
concluded.
It would be proper and indeed
with the rule of law that the special
committee proceedings await the
determination of the Court of Appeal.
Standing Order No. 92 of the Senate
on the sub judice rule should there-
fore, be invoked and the current pro-
ceedings be held in abeyance, he
told the committee.
Wamboras decision leaves the
committee in a quandary as it is still
expected to make a report to the
House tomorrow.
Before Nyamu walked out, Dr
Khalwale told him that the commit-
tee would still proceed to make its
report since Wambora had not with-
drawn his response to the charges
against him.
He asked the lawyer to inform his
client that the committee will still
give him a hearing should it verify the
validity of the charges against him.
COMMITTEE STAND
That by virtue of a gazette no-
tice, it is expected to make its re-
port tomorrow
That if the committee fnds that
the charges against the governor
have been substantiated, he will
still have a chance to be heard
That the proceedings against
Wambora are so important to the
people of Embu
That should the governor
change his mind and wish to ap-
pear before the committee, he
will be listened to
By GEOFFREY MOSOKU
The Kenya Revenue Authority
(KRA) board is set to meet to na-
lise the process of appointing the
commissioner in charge of Inves-
tigation and Enforcement.
The board will conduct the -
nal interview on ve candidates
whose names were shortlisted by
the human resource consultancy
rm, KPMG, following a com-
petitive recruitment exercise.
Acting Commissioner George
Muya is topping the list and will
be competing with his deputy,
Evans Nyakango as well as John
Cheruiyot who is in charge of
KRAs southern region. The other
candidates are Collins Wanderi
and Ezekiel Maru.
Sources within KRA reveal that
the board is set to hold its rst
interview meeting this Friday to
evaluate the competence of the
candidates.
However, other sources inti-
mated that the Treasury was keen
on who will be appointed to the
position to replace Joseph Nduati
who retired last November.
KRA Chairman Marsden Ma-
doka told The Standard that the
board would meet in less than
two weeks to nalise the pro-
cess.
He further conrmed that they
were consulting Treasury Cabinet
Secretary Henry Rotich over the
appointment. He however, added
that the consultation does not
mean the CS will inuence the
boards decision.
As a board, its courteous and
polite to consult with the ministry
in such an important process. We
hope to conclude the exercise
within two weeks, Mr Madoka
said.
KRA in nal
stage of hiring
commissioner
Pursuant to the application of the Commissioner of
Insurance in exercise of his powers conferred under section
67 C (3) of the Insurance Act, and to the Orders of the Court
subsequently issued on the 9
th
May 2014, the period of
Statutory Management was extended further upto 4
th
July
2014.
Now take further notice that in exercise of powers conferred
by section 67 C (10) of the Insurance Act, the Statutory
Manager extends the Moratorium on payments by the said
Insurer to its Policyholders and all other Creditors, declared
on 28th March, 2014 up to the 4
th
July 2014 in conformity
with the Statutory Management Period.
Dated 9th May, 2014
Eliud Muchoki Muriithi
Statutory Manager
THE INSURANCE ACT
(Cap 487)
IN THE MATTER OF BLUE SHIELD
INSURANCE COMPANY LIMITED
(Under Statutory Management)
EXTENSION OF THE MORATORIUM
The County Public service Board of Elgeyo Marakwet wishes
to inform members of the public and the applicants for the
various positions in the Department of Health Services as
advertised online and in The Standard and The Daily
Nation Newspapers of Monday 7
th
April 2014 that the list of
shortlisted candidates and the dates of interview can be
accessed from the County Website
www.elgeyomarakwet.go.ke/jobsandvacancies or at
www.elgeyomarakwetcpsb.org.
The same will also be available on the notice boards at the
respective ofce of the Sub-County Administrator in each
Sub-County as from Tuesday 13
th
May 2014.
The secretary
Elgeyo Marakwet County Public Service Board
P.O Box 665-30700
ITEN.
NOTICE
You are hereby forewarned that Elgeyo Marakwet County
Public Service Board does not solicit for payments so as to
offer employment.
ELGEYO MARAKWET COUNTY
PUBLIC SERVICE BOARD
LIST OF SHORTLISTED CANDIDATES
AND NOTIFICATION FOR INTERVIEWS
IMARISHA SAVINGS AND CREDIT
CO-OPERATIVE SOCIETY LIMITED
P.O Box 682-20200 KERICHO Tel: 0720290222
TENDER NOTICE
PROPOSED REFURBISHMENT AND EXTENSIONS TO POSTA PLAZA -KERICHO
Imarisha Sacco Society Ltd invites tenders from eligible qualied contractors for
the Proposed Refurbishment and Extensions to Posta Plaza in Kericho.
Interested bidders must be registered with the National Construction Authority
in categories as follows:-
ITEM DESCRIPTION NCA CATEGORY
1. Main Contract Works (Buildings) NCA2 and above
2. Electrical Installation Works NCA5 and above
3. Plumbing, Drainage and Fire-Fighting Works NCA5 and above
Bidders may examine and obtain detailed tender documents from the Imarisha
Sacco Society Ofce in Kericho during normal working hours upon payment of a
non-refundable fee of Kshs. 3,000 at the cash ofce 1
st
oor
Bids in plain sealed envelopes marked Tender for the Proposed Refurbishment
and Extensions of Posta Plaza- Kericho should be delivered to the tender box
in Imarisha Sacco Headquarters Building on or before 12 Noon on 30
th
May
2014.
Bids will be opened publicly immediately thereafter in the presence of bidders or
their representatives who choose to attend at the boardroom. Late bids shall be
returned unopened.
CHAIRMAN
IMARISHA SACCO SOCIETY LTD.
By ROSELYNE OBALA
Legal experts have expressed ap-
prehension at the number of im-
peachment motions currently before
county assemblies, cautioning that
they pose a threat to devolution.
The experts have called on Parlia-
ment to develop a new legislation to
set grounds under which the county
lawmakers can send packing a gover-
nor, county executive member, chief
ofcer and the county Public Service
Board.
As the Senates select committee
comprising Boni Khalwale (chair-
man), Kipchumba Murkomen (vice-
chairman) Kimani Wamatangi, Zip-
porah Kittony, Wilfred Lesan, Naisula
Leisuuda, Peter Mositet, Boy Juma
Boy, Hurguda Gordana and Judith Si-
jeny gets down to business on the case
of Embu Governor Martin Wambora,
other governors are set to appear be-
fore their respective county assem-
blies.
Other counties faced with similar
threats include Tana River, Vihiga,
Kericho, Baringo, Machakos, Elgeyo/
Marakwet, Kitui, Makueni, Taita Tav-
Experts fault impeachment calls
Lawyers say motions
seeking to hound
governors are a threat
to devolution, insist
law should be dened
eta, Nairobi and Nyeri.
East Africa Law Society President
Aggrey Mwamu and constitutional
lawyer Peter Wanyama warned that
the position of a governor is a serious
post and holders should be shielded
from frivolous hounding.
They regretted that the law is silent
on the impeachment process, noting
that under the County Governments
Act 2012, only one third of the Mem-
bers of the County Assemblies (MCAs)
are required to introduce an impeach-
ment motion and two thirds to ap-
prove it.
Mwamu and Wanyama stated that
county legislators are taking advan-
tage of the weak law to frustrate the
governors and their executive teams.
The law is being abused by the MCAs.
We need a new legislation to set the
threshold for impeachment, said
Mwamu, adding: The drafters of the
NATIONAL NEWS / Page 9
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
By ROBERT KIPLAGAT
The national government has set
aside Sh600 million to buy emaciated
livestock in hunger-stricken areas.
The move is aimed at shielding pasto-
ralists from losses incurred from live-
stock deaths occasioned by drought.
Devolution Principal Secretary
Gideon Konchellah spoke at
Chemolingot in East Pokot District,
Baringo County where more than
50,000 residents are in dire need of
emergency food and more than 2,000
goats have succumbed to drought.
The PS said most pastoral com-
munities in arid and semi-arid areas
depend entirely on livestock for liveli-
hood and due to the persistent
drought, many lose their livestock and
are left in crippling poverty.
For many years, drought has
killed livestock. We have set aside the
money to buy such livestock to enable
the farmers convert their livestock
into cash, which they can use to buy
fresh stock at the onset of the rains,
said Konchella.
Konchellah said the Government
has spent Sh220 million on relief food
distribution since February this year
and is keen to cater for the hungry
residents.
He said the State was working
closely with the county government to
ensure hunger-related crises are de-
tected and swift action taken.
State sets aside
Sh600m to buy
dying livestock
Baringo Governor Benjamin Cheboi Embu Governor Martin Wambora Machakos Governor Dr Alfred Mutua
Constitution knew the implications of
initiating such a process and therefore
Parliament needs to dene the
grounds of impeaching a governor.
CRIMINAL CHARGES
Mwamu said the process amounts
to criminal charges, and warned that
party politics and MCAs on witch-
hunt should not play in these circum-
stances. Let MCAs follow due process
and not threaten the county execu-
tives any time they fail to have their
way, he appealed.
Wanyama explained that the High
Court has set the threshold, noting
that the removal from ofce of a gov-
ernor is a serious matter and therefore
they must have personally committed
the offence. He stressed that gover-
nors and other ofcers who grossly
violate the law should be held respon-
sible and not on the basis of disagree-
ments. Wanyama lauded proposals by
a section of lawmakers to formulate
legislation to strengthen the law on
impeachment of governors and in-
clude public participation.
He also accused county speakers
of failing to advise MCAs and approv-
ing impeachment motions on imsy
grounds. They are supposed to either
approve or reject, judging by the
charges preferred but this is not the
case, he said. He added, Speakers
should do massive research and en-
sure the motion has merit.
Wanyama also wants MCAs to un-
dergo rigorous training to understand
the complexity of the matters they
deal with.
He said State agencies like the
Anti-corruption watchdog and the
ofce of Controller of Budget among
others should enlighten the MCAs on
how to handle nancial matters.
COUNTY BOSSES FACING OUSTER...
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard Page 10 / NATIONAL NEWS
QuickRead
MURANGA: Businessman abducted by
armed gangsters
A family in Muranga is worried about the safety
of their relative who was abducted two weeks ago by
a gun-wielding gang. The family of Esborn Njoroge
Kariuki has called on police to conduct speedy
investigations. Teresia Muthoni Njoroge, a daughter
to the Sagana-based trader, said they have provided
the police with details to facilitate investigations. She
said he was abducted as he was taking a meal at a
Muranga hotel by a gang that ordered him outside
before pushing him into a waiting vehicle. We are
traumatised and have not known peace since he was
abducted by the gang driving in two vehicles, she
told The Standard.
NAIROBI: 14,000 NYS staff, servicemen
to be trained on potato production
The Government will train 14,000 National Youth
Service (NYS) staff and servicemen annually, who will
assist in enhancing seed and ware potato production
as part of the food insecurity mitigation. Agriculture
secretary Ms Ann Onyango said the programme,
which will be undertaken in collaboration with
National Potato Council of Kenya and NYS at Ruaraka
will see at least 1,500 NYS staff and over 12,000
service men undergo trained annually. In a speech
read on her behalf by Bernard Ondanje, Deputy
Director in the ministry, during a training workshop
for NYS staff on green houses, Onyango said the
move will also ensure training of many youths in
potato production.
NAIROBI: Government advised on how
to deal with road crashes
Kenyans living in the United Kingdom have urged
the Government to establish a drivers criminal
record bureau to reduce the number of road
accidents on Kenyan roads. They said this will help
to weed out rogue drivers noting that majority of
the road accidents are caused by reckless drivers.
Mordicks Asimba, the Chief Executive Ofcer of Kenya
Road and Life Safety, a body formed by Kenyans
living in the UK to promote road safety, said the
bureau would ensure that drivers who cause death
on the highways get clearance before they can be
allowed back on the roads. If established, the bureau
will see to it that no driver maneuvers his or her
way to obtain a new driving license after causing an
accident, it even becomes foolproof when the records
are computerised, he said.
Church turned into battleground
as Mungiki tussles over land, cash
town.
The 12, who were armed with
machetes and other crude weap-
ons, were ambushed by church
members who suspected they
were on a criminal mission.
All that Njenga could say yes-
terday was: What is happening is
unfortunate. We are helping au-
thorities to get to the bottom of
the matter. We do not know who
is behind this.
BLACK SUITS
Trouble started on May 4, at
around 5am when four interces-
sors arrived in the church. After
praying for about 30 minutes,
some strangers clad in black suits
arrived in the church.
A van, (registration number
withheld) and a mini bus, bearing
the label of one of transport com-
panies in the area were parked
outside the church. The vehicles,
according to some witnesses, were
later used to ferry church mem-
bers who were later reported
killed.
I was just by the gate of the
church about to get in when a
stranger greeted me joyfully. We
talked briey and I encouraged
him to get into the church but
within a short time three others
joined him and they directed me
to an adjacent building where
they beat me up. They then threw
me into the Nissan vehicle.
I tried ghting but they stuffed
my mouth with a piece of cloth,
warning me of dire consequences
in case I screamed, said the vic-
tim who is nursing broken legs at
a hospital in Nairobi.
Dont tell them where I am.
They will surely kill me, he
begged. He told The Standard that
10 worshippers were driven away
in one vehicle and ve in another
while goons used yet another ve-
hicle.
The captives were taken to an
iron sheet structure at Kitanda na
Mbuzi land at Athi River on the
Machakos County side where
they were beaten using blunt ob-
jects and their Bibles, phones and
money taken away. The phones
were crushed by the thugs.
We saw one of us die and
most of us were left in pain, bleed-
ing with broken limbs, said the
victim.
John Ngugi, who spotted the
last vehicle, a minibus at the
church, tried to alert others church
member as he ran after the vehicle
to nd out what was happening. A
woman saw him getting into the
By STANDARD TEAM
For the past week, current and
former members of the outlawed
Mungiki sect have been ghting
over 400 acres of land worth about
Sh500 million in Athi River. The
war, whose battlefront has been
the grounds of Hope Internation-
al Church in Kitengela, a church
that was founded by former
Mungiki leader Maina Njenga, has
so far claimed at least three lives.
About 30 others are reported to
have gone into hiding, fearing for
their lives.
Besides the land, some sect ad-
herents have confessed that there
is stiff competition for millions of
shillings collected illegally by the
group, including from levying
transport operators.
Ironically, the land in question,
according to some members of
the sect, is part of a bigger chunk
which was allegedly grabbed from
East African Portland Cement
Company by a vocal politician in
2010 to raise money for cam-
paigns in the March 2013 elec-
tions. They claim the politician
subdivided and sold out the land
and later allocated them 400 acres
so that they could offer political
protection.
Our investigations have re-
vealed that since 2010 one of the
sects leaders charged with ad-
ministering the land has been
selling plots without surrendering
money to the high command.
They have been selling a
50by100 feet plot at between
Sh150,000 and Sh200,000. The
buyers are just given a share cer-
ticate bearing the name Kitanda
na Mbuzi. At the same time 100
members have settled on the
land, sources said.
Yesterday, at least 12 people
were injured when the two groups
fought each other in the church in
Kajiado County.
Tension remained high in the
church and its environs as a con-
tingent of police ofcers from
both Administration and their
regular counterpart patrolled the
Three people killed
after being abducted
from Maina Njengas
Hope International
in Kitengela
bus, which had slowed down. His
body was found on Tuesday eve-
ning by police ofcers not very far
from the scene where the 15 peo-
ple were tortured. Police say he
was strangled using a neck tie.
John Muya Mburu, the church
chief usher and a renowned me-
chanic in Kitengela, was tortured
and died from injuries in the head,
back and limbs. Church members
say he was a close friend and con-
dant of Maina Njenga.
The third victim, John Mwangi
Muchwe, died on arriving at Athi
River Shalom Hospital. He was a
senior ofcial at the church and
also a condant of the church
leader. Most victims survived af-
ter feigning death.
They left us for dead after de-
stroying all our mobile phones,
luckily one of us had a second
phone that dropped on the oor
of the house. He scrawled out and
called for help over the phone and
soon several people came and res-
cued us, said a victim.
Last Wednesday, about 40
women marched to Kitengela Po-
lice Station to report that their
lives were in danger after their
husbands disappeared after they
were threatened.
AGAINST OATH
My husband is being sought
by the gang. He has since left the
town and the gang has warned me
to leave the house which they say
is their property, one of them
said. There are reports that sect
members are also targeting prop-
erties of those who have gone
against the Mungiki oath.
The women want the sect
members behind the threats, tor-
ture and killings arrested before
they can cause more deaths and
harm to innocent people. Njenga,
the former leader outlawed sect,
who converted to Christianity, has
a huge following of about 4,000
people in Kitengela Church
alone.
Yesterday, a group of the sect
members raided the church at
around 5am in a bid to take it over
the but found its gates locked. Un-
deterred, they jumped over the
fence and pounced on a caretaker,
the watchman and another man.
Eyewitnesses tell us that they
were beaten up inside the church
before they were carried away by
the attackers. We have informed
the police and hope they will be
rescued, said a source.
WHY MUNGIKI, EX-
MEMBERS ARE AT WAR
The source of the dispute
is reported to be over 400
acres of land worth about
Sh500 million in Athi River
reportedly owned by the sect
Some sect members have
confessed that they are
fghting for millions of shil-
lings collected illegally by
the group, including from
levying PSV operators
I am Hosea Kili, OGW, Managing Director, Laptrust
A Captain of Industry in Retirements Benets and Financial Industry
EXCLUSIVE TO...
Change is inevitable. Always anticipate it and move with the times
Administration Police ofcers ar-
rest suspects in Kitengela. [PHO-
TO: PETERSON GITHAIGA /STANDARD]
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard NATIONAL NEWS / Page 11
By JAMES MBAKA
CORD is working on a two-
pronged plan to prevent the
current commissioners of the
Independent Electoral and
Boundaries Commission (IE-
BC) from overseeing the 2017
General Election.
CORD is pushing for the
ouster of the nine electoral
commissioners through Parlia-
ment on allegations of bun-
gling last years poll and is
sponsoring a Bill to review the
date of the next polls to a time
after expiry of the IEBC term.
CORD has maintained the
Isaack Hassan-led IEBC should
not be allowed to manage the
next polls.
The coalition under the
leadership of co-principals,
former Prime Minister Raila
Odinga, former Vice President
Kalonzo Musyoka and Bungo-
ma Senator Moses Wetangula
wants to block the IEBC from
conducting the next general
election.
After initiating a parliamen-
tary process two weeks ago to
disband the commission,
CORD has yet again embarked
on another front to push for-
ward the date of the next gen-
eral election from August to
December 2017.
CORDs plot to have
poll team dismissed
Opposition says
it does not want
IEBC allowed
to conduct 2017
General Election
This is to ensure that the
tenure of current commission-
ers expires before the elections
are held.
The Court of Appeal in its
decision of July 31, 2012, had
stated that the next General
Election would be held on Au-
gust 8, 2017 therefore shorten-
ing the life of the Eleventh
Parliament and the current
government by six months.
But in the proposed consti-
tutional amendment spon-
sored by ODM legislator David
Ochieng (Ugenya), CORD
wants various articles, which
specify the election date for
senators, National Assembly
members, the President, Mem-
bers of the County Assemblies
and governors and their depu-
ties, amended.
This means then that IEBC
commissioners will not preside
over the next poll.
IEBCs term expires on No-
vember 2017 after six years as
provided for in the Constitu-
tion, a month to the December
election date being proposed,
to pave way for new commis-
sioners to shepherd the next
general election.
CORD has accused IEBC
commissioners of robbing
them of their victory in the last
election, saying the electoral
body failed the integrity test of
conducting free, fair and cred-
ible elections within the law.
THUNDEROUS OPPOSITION
This is the most corrupt
and inefcient electoral com-
mission in the history of this
country and we will not par-
ticipate in another general
election presided over by this
body if fundamental reforms
and changes are not effected,
ODM leader Raila Odinga has
been quoted saying in the
past.
Even before the Motion is
tabled on the oor of the Na-
tional Assembly, the bid to re
IEBC commissioners has been
greeted with thunderous op-
position from the Jubilee coali-
tion. Since the amendments
seek to increase the life of Par-
liament to August from April
2017, many of the MPs would
support the alterations to the
Constitution to change the
date of the next election to
December.
But the Motions sponsor
has refuted the claims: My
constitutional amendment Bill
does not seek to increase the
term of MPs.
Women in Mombasa County welcome guests at the Miritini Primary School grounds during a
public rally attended by Mombasa Governor Hassan Ali Joho, Budalangi MP Ababu Namwamba
and other CORD ofcials. [PHOTO: MAARUFU MOHAMED/STANDARD]
THE PLAN
CORD is pushing for
the ouster of the nine
electoral commissioners
through Parliament
They are sponsoring a
Bill to review the date of
2017 polls to a time after
expiry of the IEBC term
IEBCs term expires on
November 2017 after six
years as provided for in
the Constitution, a month
to the December election
date being proposed
Since the amendments
seek to increase the life
of Parliament, many of
the MPs would support
the alterations
ELDORET POLYTECHNIC
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Tel. +254714871685/738092126;
eldopoly@africaonline.co.ke; www.eldopoly.ac.ke
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CATEGORY A-SUPPLY AND DELIVERY OF:
1. EP/T/1/2014/2015 Fuels, oils, lters & lubricants
2. EP/T/2/2014/2015 Beef, mutton, pork and chicken
3. EP/T/3/2014/2015 Fresh milk
4. EP/T/4/2014/2015 Bread, queen cakes & buns
5. EP/T/5/2014/2015 Vegetables, fruits, potatoes & allied products
6. EP/T/6/2014/2015 Dry foodstuff (rice, sugar, cooking fat, salt, coffee, &margarines)
CATEGORY B: PRE-QUALIFICATION OF SUPPLIERS ON SUPPLY &
DELIVERY OF:-
7. EP/PQ/7/2014/2015 Motor vehicle spares parts, tyres, tubes & batteries
8. EP/PQ/8/2014/2015 Clinical medicines for humans (pharmaceuticals)
9. EP/PQ/9/2014/2015 General ofce stationery
10. EP/PQ/10/2014/2015 Computers, laptops, printers, tonners, cartridges & general ICT
equipments.
11. EP/PQ/11/2014/2015 Electrical hardwares, accessories & appliances
12. EP/PQ/12/2014/2015 Laboratory chemicals
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14. EP/PQ/14/2014/2015 Specialized printing services
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bricks, dust&concrete materials.
17. EP/PQ/17/2014/2015 Timbers, round poles and allied products
18. EP/PQ/18/2014/2015 Mechanical & welding engineering materials
19. EP/PQ/19/2014/2015 Fire ghting equipments, rst aid kits & maintenance services
20. EP/PQ/20/2014/2015 Animal feeds & general farm input
21. EP/PQ/21/2014/2015 Cleaning materials, detergents and disinfectants
22. EP/ PQ/22/2014/2015 Staff uniforms and banners
CATEGORY C: - PROVISION OF SERVICES
23. EP/PS/23/2014/2015 Provision of legal services
24. EP/PS/24/2014/2015 Provision of sanitary support services
25. EP/PS/25/2014/2015 Provision of repair and servicing of ofce equipments &
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student on attachment
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employee satisfaction, work environment and baseline surveys
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Tender documents with details/specications may be obtained from the procurement
ofce in administration block eldoret polytechnic main campus on payment of Kshs1,
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MAIN CAMPUS ALONG ELDORET-KISUMU ROAD
P.O BOX 4461-30100
ELDORET.
And be deposited in the tender box located at the main administration entrance on or
before 6
th
June, 2014 at 12.00 noon and shall be opened immediately in presence of
tenderers or their representatives who choose to attend. Late bids will be returned
unopened.
N/B: Youth, women and people living with disabilities are encouraged to apply.
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
Page 12 / NATIONAL NEWS
By WAHOME THUKU
A trafc police ofcer has
been reprimanded by a magis-
trate in Nairobi for insulting a
motorist.
The ofcer, identied as Mr
Abdi, who is based at Kilimani
Police Station, had been sum-
moned to appear before a traf-
c court magistrate at the
Milimani Law Courts following
complaints by the motorist,
Lucy Kaburia.
On Friday, the ofcer de-
nied the allegations before the
court.
The incident is said to have
happened near Nairobi Hospi-
tal on Wednesday when the
ofcer stopped the driver for
obstructing other motorists.
Ms Kaburia claims she was
changing lanes to avoid a pot-
hole when the ofcer stopped
her. I tried to explain to him
why I had changed lanes but
he started hurling insults at
me. He called me a stupid
woman, saying he had seen
better women than me, Ms
Kaburia told court.
She said the ofcer then
tried to get into the vehicle af-
ter arresting her but she re-
sisted and locked the doors,
adding that he tried to snatch
the ignition keys but failed.
Kaburia said she drove to
Kilimani Police Station where
she was arrested and immedi-
ately taken to the trafc court.
During the hearing, the
magistrate asked the ofcer to
respect people while Kaburia
was asked to pay the ne for
obstruction and report the is-
sue to a police station if not
satised with the action tak-
en.
This was after the prosecu-
tor said Kaburia had not re-
corded a statement with the
police over the incident.
Magistrate warns trafc ofcer
over motorist harassment
Conficting laws on time
that marred poll petitions
Supreme Court
had to step in as
Constitution and
Elections Act differ
on fling deadline
The writer is a court reporter.
Email:iwahome@standard-
media.co.ke
BENCH WATCH
REPUBLIC OF KENYA
IN THE SUPREME COURT, NAIROBI
CONSTITUTIONAL PETITION NO 7 OF 2013
MARY WAMBUI MUNENE.....................APPELLANT
VERSUS
PETER GICHUKI KINGARA......................... 1
st
RESPONDENT
THE INDEPENDENT
ELECTORAL AND BOUNDARIES
COMMISSION...........................................2
ND
RESPONDENT
JAMES MBAI3RD RESPONDENT
BENCH: WILLY MUTUNGA, KALPANA RAWAL, PHILIP TUNOI, MO-
HAMED IBRAHIM, J B OJWANG, SMOKIN WANJALA AND NJOKI
NDUNGU
JUDGEMENT: 05.05.2014
By WAHOME THUKU
After the March 4, 2013
General Election, numerous
petitions were led challeng-
ing the outcome in various
parts of the country.
One such petition was led
by Dr Thuo Mathenge, chal-
lenging the election of Nderitu
Gachagua as Governor of Nyeri
County.
Dr Mathenge, who was a
candidate for the seat, led the
petition on March 8, 2013,
only three days after Gachagua
had been declared winner by
the county returning ofcer.
That was before the results
were gazetted on March 13,
2013.
The Independent Electoral
and Boundaries Commission
(IEBC) led an objection argu-
ing that the petition was pre-
mature since the results had
not been gazetted. The IEBC
asked the court to strike it out,
a position that was supported
by Gachagua.
That petition added to a
legal debate that was already
developing in other cases re-
garding the time within which
a petition should be led.
Article 87(2) of the Consti-
tution provides that election
petitions other than those for
the presidential seat shall be
led within 28 days after dec-
laration of the results by the
IEBC. But the Elections Act
Section 76(1)(a) provided that
the petition should be led
within 28 days after the results
have been gazetted.
Some judges had decided
in other petitions that the cor-
rect time was 28 days after the
announcement of the results
while others decided it was
after the gazettement.
In Mathenges case, presid-
ing judge James Wakiaga con-
curred with the IEBC and ruled
that Dr Mathenges petition
was premature since the re-
sults had not been gazetted.
The judge upheld the ob-
jection by the IEBC but de-
clined to strike out the petition.
The judge said, To punish the
petitioner for coming earlier
based on misinterpretation of
the law and the Constitution
would be a miscarriage of jus-
tice
Still in Nyeri, another peti-
tion was led by lawyer Peter
Kingara challenging the elec-
tion of Mary Wambui as Othaya
MP. The parliamentary elec-
tion results were declared on
March 5, 2013, a day after the
voting and Wambui was issued
with a certicate.
DISMISSED PETITION
Going by the Elections Act,
Kingara waited for the results
to be gazetted then led the
petition on April 8, 2013. How-
ever, going by Article 87(2) of
the Constitution, the 28-day
timeline should have expired
on April 2, 2013. Kingaras
petition was therefore six days
late under the Constitution.
On September 12, 2013, the
High Court dismissed the peti-
tion and conrmed Wambui as
the elected MP. The issue of
time was not raised in court.
Kingara led an appeal at the
Court of Appeal in Nyeri, citing
35 grounds.
On February 13, this year
Court of Appeal judges nulli-
ed the election. The question
of time did not come up.
Meanwhile on February 4,
2014, the Supreme Court de-
clared Section 76(1)(a) of the
Elections Act null and void as
it contradicted Article 87(2) of
the Constitution. That declara-
tion was made in a petition
led by Mombasa Governor
Hassan Ali Joho, who was de-
fending his seat. The Supreme
Court settled the matter hold-
ing that the 28-day timeframe
should start from the date the
elections results are an-
nounced by the returning of-
cer.
On April 8, 2014 Wambui
through her lawyer Cecil Miller
led a petition at the Supreme
Court challenging the nulli-
cation of her election by the
Court of Appeal.
This time she raised the
time issue as one of the grounds
of appeal, supporting her argu-
ment on the Supreme Courts
decision in the Joho case.
Miller argued that the Court
of Appeal had erred by failing
to hold that the proceedings
were null and void since
Kingaras petition at the High
Court was time-barred as per
article 87(2) of the Constitu-
tion and that section 76(1)(a)
of the Elections Act had been
declared unconstitutional.
Miller said since that sec-
tion of the Elections Act had
been enacted after the Consti-
tution was already in place, it
was invalid. This time, the IEBC
supported that position.
Kingaras lawyer Kyalo
Mbobu argued that the Consti-
tution had empowered Parlia-
ment to enact the Elections Act
and that it provided guidance
in the conduct of electoral dis-
putes.
Where does justice lie
when a certain section of the
law had been followed, as it
stood then, and the court
found it unconstitutional? he
posed.
VITAL ELEMENT
Mbobu submitted that the
issue of nullity of the initial
petition was not raised by any
of the parties at the Court of
Appeal, hence could not be
raised at the Supreme Court.
The Supreme Court identi-
ed four issues for determina-
tion. One of them was whether
the proceedings were a nullity
having been premised on a
petition led out of time.
It was clear the petition at
the High Court had been led
outside the constitutional
timeframe and under a section
of the law that had since been
declared unconstitutional. But
could the nullication of that
section in February 2014 retro-
spectively affect Kingaras pe-
tition which was led in April
2013?
The seven judges said, This
Court has been keen to ensure
predictability, certainty, uni-
formity and stability in the
application of the law. How-
ever, in appropriate cases, this
Court may exercise its jurisdic-
tion to give its constitutional
interpretations retrospective
or prospective effect. This de-
rives from the broad mandate
accorded this Court by the
Constitution, and the Supreme
Court Act, 2011.
The Supreme Court reiter-
ated that time was a vital ele-
ment in the electoral process.
They ruled that the effect of
declaring Section 76(1)(a) un-
constitutional had to go back
to the time it was enacted.
The declaration of invalid-
ity must apply from the date of
commencement of the Elec-
tions Act, that is December 2,
2011, the Supreme Court held.
However, that effect would ap-
ply on case-by-case basis to
avoid re-opening concluded or
determined election cases,
they said.
With that conclusion, the
judges found it unnecessary to
determine the other issues
they had highlighted. That de-
cision is now the subject of a
big debate in the legal frater-
nity.
Kingara lost to Wambui. Mathenge challenged Gachaguas win.
PREQUALIFICATION NO: DESCRIPTION
REA/2014-2015/PQ/010 Pre-Qualication of Contractors for the installation
of Solar PV Systems in Kenya
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
NOTICES / Page 13
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st
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rd
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TAUSI ASSURANCE COMPANY LTD
A Symbol of Trust, Security and Progress
INCOME STATEMENT AND STATEMENT OF COMPREHENSIVE INCOME
FOR THE YEAR ENDED 31
ST
DECEMBER 2013
2013 2012
Kshs.000 Kshs.000
Income
Gross premium written 803,201 727,201
Outward reinsurance premium (279,844) (257,262)
Net Premium 523,357 469,939
Gross earned premiums 783,598 698,741
Net earned premium 503,754 441,479
Investment income 143,437 151,367
Other income 2,830 105
Commissions earned 99,227 84,618
Changes in fair value of nancial assets through
prot & loss 24,571 5,980
Total income 773,819 683,549
Outgo
Claims payable (314,827) (374,556)
Insurance claims recoverable from reinsurers 88,735 132,464
Net insurance claims (226,092) (242,092)
Administrative and other expenses (148,812) (127,961)
Commissions payable (139,472) (116,477)
Total Outgo (288,284) (244,438)
Prot before tax (expense) 259,443 197,019
Tax (expense) (71,381) (47,221)
Prot for the year attributable to the owners of
the company 188,063 149,798
Other Comprehensive income (net of tax) 67,625 14,058
Total comprehensive income for the year 255,688 163,856
STATEMENT OF FINANCIAL POSITION AS AT 31
ST
DECEMBER 2013
2013 2,012
Kshs000 Kshs000
Shareholders Funds
Share capital 502,244 396,509
Revaluation surplus 116,257 43,438
Fair Value Reserve 2,503 7,697
Retained earnings 176,183 144,081
Proposed dividends - 43,616
Total shareholders funds 797,187 635,340
Represented By:
Assets
Property, plant and equipment 243,693 138,845
Intangible assets 5,440 9,773
Held-to-maturity nancial assets 581,599 541,905
Available for sale investments 36,456 41,650
Financial assets at fair value through prot or loss 104,515 80,172
Loans receivable 121,898 125,256
Current Income tax recovable -
Receivables arising out of reinsurance arrangements 1,627 14,276
Receivables arising out of direct insurance arrangements 78,291 48,341
Reinsurers share of insurance liabilities 416,176 370,714
Other receivables 80,941 71,987
Deposits with nancial institutions 393,142 365,774
Cash and bank balances 50,307 13,064
Total assets 2,114,085 1,821,758
Liabilities
Insurance contract liabilities 775,659 721,107
Unearned premium 328,997 320,160
Payables arising from reinsurance arrangements 126,100 83,359
Payables arising out of direct insurance arrangements -
Other payables 29,557 35,610
Current tax Payable 13,957 14,081
Deferred income tax 42,628 12,101
Total liabilities 1,316,898 1,186,418
Net assets 797,187 635,340
Key Ratios
1. Capital Adequacy Ratio 167% 132%
2. Solvency Ratio 136% 137%
3. Claims Ratio 45% 55%
4. Expenses Ratio 37% 35%
The above Income Statement & Statement of Comprehensive Income and Statement of Financial
Position are extracts from the Financial Statements audited by RSM Ashvir and have received an
unqualied opinion. The nancial statements were approved for issue by the Board of Directors
on 25
th
April 2014 and were signed on its behalf by:
Dilesh Bid Amar Kantaria Rita Thatthi
Director Director Principal Ofcer
Tausi Court, Tausi Road, Off Muthithi Road, Westlands, Nairobi P.O.Box 28889, City Sq
Nairobi 00200 Tel: 202312681/5/93 Mobile: 0729 145888/0735 145020
EMail:clients@tausiassurance.com Website: www.tausiassurance.com
Page 14 / EDITORIALS
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
Let sobriety drive
debate on polls day
The Standard is printed and published by the proprietors,
THE STANDARD GROUP
Newsdesk: 3222111
|
Fax: 2213108
Email: oped@standardmedia.co.ke
Group Managing Editor (Print): Kipkoech Tanui
Registered at the GPO as a newspaper.
If well executed, SGR could unlock regions potential
WHAT OTHER MEDIA SAY...
K
enyan legislators are back to their histrionic
outbursts. The latest tiff is in relation to the
electoral cycle, and specifically on the date of
the next elections.
Traditionally, Kenyans were given to voting in the last
week of December every five years. However, the
adoption of a new Constitution in 2010 necessitated
some alterations that moved the election month from
December to August.
The drafters of the Constitution argued rightly that
electioneering spoilt the party mood for Christmas. It
was also the first time the day of an election would be
spelt out in the Constitution. Come 2012 and the
elections were not held as stipulated. The argument was
that should elections be held in the second week of
August, the life of the Tenth Parliament would have been
curtailed. Consequently, the courts ruled on the March 4
date. The MPs were not averse to the amendment. First
forward to 2014; the CORD coalition has tabled a motion
seeking to move the election date back to December. A
General Election must be held every five years. The
contention now is whether the next election should be
held in March 2017 or December 2017. The precise
question should be when does a five-year term end? The
reasons advanced by the vover of the motion, Ugenyas
David Ochieng are plausible but there are those who
think that the motive is suspect. And one of them is the
Leader of the Majority in Parliament. It is not lost on the
public that coalition squabbles will inform the debate of
the motion. It is our hope that the two sides will exercise
objectivity and desist from tying down anything to do
with elections on the current IEBC office holders. It
behoves Parliament to sit down and discuss to a logical
conclusion the substantive date on which elections must
be held to avoid acrimony and the heightening of
tensions as the polls draw near. Procrastination and
secrecy have in the past fuelled both tribal and party
animosity, a trend we must do away with once and for
all.
FastTrack
FOOTBALL: Police arrest hapless
Vimbwanga in Division Two tie
Football Kenya Federation National Division
One zone A group 2 side Kenya Police were too
good for visiting Vimbwanga FC from Meru.
Police thrashed Vimbwanga 7-0 in a match
played at Barclays Grounds on Saturday. Head
coach Francis Mwangi said he wants to nish
among the top two positions by the end of the
season to get a chance for promotion to the
National Super League next season. By 2016,
we want to play in the Premier League. Two of
our key players were injured during the match
but I hope it will not affect our campaign,
said the tactician. Rebecca Gichana
CRICKET: Mombasa Sports Club
set for Coast 50 over league
Mombasa Sports Club has been dominating
cricket in Mombasa for decades. The club has
been producing some of the best cricketers in
the country and the club is set to continue with
its sterling performance when Coast 50 over
league kicks off this month. To its credit, the
club completed the 2013/14 season unbeaten
after they recently won the T20 Zahra Cup after
beating Burhani Sports Club in the nal. In
1971, Mombasa Sports Club produced some of
the best cricketers ever to win the Coast knock-
out tournament after beating Hatim Karimjee
by 41 runs in the nal. Narottam Khataw was
the man of the match with three maidens, 22
runs and ve wickets. Ernest Ndunda
FOOTBALL: 83 graduate as
referees course ends in Nairobi
A ve-day referees course organised by Football
Kenya Federation (FKF) Nairobi branch ended
on Friday evening at the Nyayo National
Stadium with 83 participants graduating. The
course sponsored by mini bakeries Super
Loaf was closed by FKF vice president Robert
Asembo who challenged the younger referees
to do their best to reach at the highest level
of their new career. This is a good initiative
towards developing football, we are proud of
this class and thank the sponsors for the good
gesture, said Asembo. Super Loaf mini bakeries
sales representative Jackson Kimanzi said they
will continue partnering with the Nairobi ofce
to develop football. Rebecca Gichana
OTHER RESULTS:
MUTHAIGA: Kingsway Tyres:
Winner- Jay Soni-41pts (25),
R/up-David Ireri-38pts (26),
third-Emir Hussein-38 (09).
WINDSOR: Club nite by
Brussels Airlines: Winner-
Santiago Villamizaia-
39pts (02), R/ups-D.
Asodhia-34(09), third-Asif
Padamshi-34 (08).
RUIRU: May Monthly Mug by
WIkinu: Winner-Harun Gicho-66
nett (83-17), R/up-Kinyua Muchiri-73 nett
(93-20).
tors Group Ford Division tour-
nament was won by handicap
21 Wilhem Mugo who posted
a 19-22 in both nines for 41
points.
Handicap 24 P Mukuria was
the Mens winner on 40 points
(23-17) while handicap 26 Nan-
cy Nganga was the lady win-
ner on 41 points (24-17).
The junior winner was Si-
mon Ngugi, who had a score of
37 points (21-16).
DIVISION A WINNER
At the par 72 Kenya Railways
Club on Saturday, handicap
seven Andrew Kimani posted
77 nett to emerge the Division
A winner of the 2014 Mugs of
Mugs tournament sponsored
by J Mandavia. The Division B
was won by handicap 14 Sing-
ha Padam on 72 nett, while the
division C was won by handi-
cap 23 Paul Ngugi on a score of
68 nett.
Daniel Kahoro, playing off
handicap 20, was the Subsidiary
winner on 75 nett, while handi-
cap 12 Vir Panesar emerged the
guest winner on 73 nett.
The Mountain Classic event
played at the par 72 Kiambu
course on Saturday was won by
handicap 17 Sammy Muriu on
66 nett. Handicap 14 Kibuthu
Moffat came second on 69 nett.
Handicap 29 B Kinyanjui n-
ished third on 70 nett.
Lady winner was handi-
cap 29 Barbara Kinyanjui who
had 70 nett, gross winner was
handicap ve John Ngure on
73 gross. David Nyaga emerged
winner of the sponsor on 72
nett.
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard Page 52 / FEVERPITCH
STUNNING COMEBACK
Guya, Jessop, Ngugi and
Kigen win MX 3 in Solai
Stadium fascinates Isiolos Taqwa players
By OSCAR PILIPILI
Taqwa FC players who are
used to playing on dusty pitch-
es in Isiolo were mesmerised
with Safaricom Stadium during
their recent tour of Nairobi.
Almost the entire squad of
the team that is participating
in provincial league had nev-
er played outside Isiolo until
they were hosted in a friendly
match by National Youth Tal-
ent Academy (NYTA).
Despite losing 2-1 against
NYTA during their match at
the Stadium last Saturday,
Taqwa players were lled with
joy for competing on a kind of
a pitch that they only watch on
television.
Some of the players were
seen competing to slide on
the carpet-like grass pitch the
Manchester Uniteds Wayne
Rooney way.
Others were overheard ask-
ing each other whether this
was the very Stadium where
Chelsea, Manchester United
and Arsenal play.
The players used most of
their time shooting memo-
rable pictures of themselves at
picturesque points within the
biggest stadium in East and
Central Africa.
Team manager Shukri
Abudulahi said: Our tour of
Nairobi was an eye opener
to my players because they
would want to play to the high-
est level and gain access to this
facility more often.
Hassan Dagane and Ab-
dirahman Mohammed were
the only players in the squad
that had played in a stadium
through their participation
in Copa Cola and Sakata Ball
tournaments.
Taqwa team, which is the
senior most side from the
Isiolo based talent academy,
has remained a force to reckon
with in the regions football
circles.
They have won several
honours in both Copa Cola
and Sakata Ball tournaments
over years.
Players mentored at Taqwa
structures include Abdulmalik
Mohammed played Gor Ma-
hia, Harambee Stars and was
currently in Dubai.
Others are: Hassan Ab-
dirahman and Mohammed
Suleimani (FC Talanta) and
Mohammed Aden (Ulinzi War-
riors).
Abdulahi praised Isiolo
Governor Godana Doyo, Dep-
uty Mohammed Guleid and
the area legislator Samal Lom-
wa for supporting sports in the
region.
Isiolo sports personalities
By BEN AHENDA
Ivan Guya, riding a KTM 250
two-stroke bike, registered his
second straight victory during
the third round of the National
Motocross Championship in
Solai racetrack.
Having missed last months
regional FIM Africa race in
Kampala due to a fractured
hand, Guya made stunning
comeback, beating his clos-
est rival Tutu Maina to sec-
ond place a maximum 60
points after winning
all the three heats at
stake.
Maina nished
the race second with 51 points,
while Samir Sherman
was third with45
points.
Guya,
w h o
pe r -
s e -
vered
pain on
one of his
ngers which
had been operated, vowed to
remain on top in the remain-
ing six races.
The track was awesome. I
was a bit apprehensive of my
ride but after practice on Sat-
urday, I gained condence and
attacked from the word go,
Guya told FeverPitch after the
race in Solai, yesterday.
Guyas father George Guya,
who was equally fascinated,
said after the race that he was
surprised by his sons perfor-
mance. This was Guyas sec-
ond victory in the season after
crashing out with Apollo Mbu-
ki in round 1 in February.
THIRD WIN
Tim Jessop beat Patrick
Garner and T Allison to the
podium nish in the Experts
Class. This is Jessops third win
of the season.
Im happy to have shown
the old boys how to ride in
the mud. Getting round the
track in muddy conditions and
emerging rst in a different
track outside Nairobi was good
fun, said Jessop who rode a
KTM320 to victory.
Jet Takkune won MX50
riding a KTM 50. It was really
competitive race and track was
great, said Takkune.
Kigen Kiplagat, grandchild
of Ambassador Bethwel Kipla-
gat, won Mx65.
Defending champion Elias
Sherman was made to sweat to
defeat Rolf Kihara in the MX85.
Ethan Nyachae, who has since
graduated from MX65 to MX85,
settled for third place.
Nyachae, who is the 2013
MX65 champion, was riding
in his second race in MX85 af-
ter his debut in Kampala last
month.
Ngugu Waweru fought a
great battle with Samir Anwar
in MX125 before emerging the
winner.
Ngugi won the rst and
last heats while Samir won
the second. MX2 did not take
place as there were no riders
in the class. Motocross 4 will
take place at Jamhuri Park on
June 10.
bahenda@standardme-
dia.co.ke
Taqwa FC players at Safaricom Kasarani Stadium. [PHOTO:
OSCAR PILIPILI/STANDARD]
are happy with the support
they get from our leaders, he
said.
But for our sports to devel-
op, the leaders should up their
game and increase sports bud-
get for our talented youth to
realise full potential, he said.
The ofcial also urged
the leaders to offer academic
scholarships/bursaries to tal-
ented students.
porwa@standardmedia.
co.ke
By ERNEST NDUNDA
Defending champions Ke-
nya Police commonly known
as Chafua Chafua had a di-
sastrous outing in Mombasa
when they failed to shine in the
ring as the rst leg of the Na-
tional Boxing league ended at
the weekend.
It was the Kenya Defence
Forces (KDF), whose
patron is General
Julius Karangi, who
won the rst leg to pile up
pressure on the defending
champions.
KDF, who boast of some of
the best boxers in the country,
bagged 23 points to win during
the rst leg.
Kenya Police were placed
second with 21 points with Ke-
nya Prisons in third place with
eight points.
Coast Combined showed
some improvement after
nishing fourth with six
points, while Kenyatta
National Hospital (KNH)
had three points. Nairobi
were sixth with two points
while Central and Nyanza
tied with a point each.
In the individual per-
formance, Sha Bakari of
KDF won on points against
Abdalah Athuman of Coast in
light y (49kg).
KDFs Ulidi Mohammed
won the y weight (52kg) on
split points after beating Po-
lices Maurice Ochieng.
The bantam weight (56kg)
title went to Martin Oduor of
Police after overcoming Ethan
Maina of KNH on points.
Experienced Nick Okoth of
KDF defeated Prisons Joseph
Njogu on points in light weight
(60kg) bout.
In light welter (64kg), KDFs
Victor Odhiambo found the
going tough and was knocked
down in the rst round by Jo-
seph Shingali of Police.
Kenya police added another
trophy in welter weight (69kg)
after Victor Onyango beat Ja-
cob Kimathi of Prisons on
unanimous points decision.
In middle weight (75kg),
veteran Nick Abaka of KDF
won on split points against
Polices David Njuguna, while
Elly Ajowi of Police applied his
skills to knock out Julias Atito
of Prisons in light heavy weight
(81kg).
In heavy weight (91kg),
KDFs Charles Okoth sent Po-
lices Tobias Okeyo packing
after he knocked him down in
the rst round.
Victor Ombok of KDF won
on points against Peter Opudi
of Police in the super heavy
weight (91+kg).
Police fail
to shine
as league
begins
Ivan Guya in action during the
third round of the National
Motocross Championship in Solai,
yesterday. [PHOTO:JESEPH KIPSANG/
STANDARD]
MX1
1. Ivan Guya 60
2. Tutu Maina 51
3. Sanir Anwar 45
VETERANS/MASTERS
1. TimJessop 60
2. Patrick Garner 51
3 T. Allison 45
MX125
1. Ngugi Waweru 57
2. Samir Anwar 54
3. Walter Kuria 45
MX85
1. Elias Sherman 57
2. Rolf Kihara 54
3. Ethan Nyachae 43
MX65
1. Kigen Kiplagat 57
2. M. Mwangi 54
3. Tai Wahome 43
MX50
1. Jet Takkunen 60
2. Tyler Huth 51
3. Rafe Garner 50
RESULTS
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard FEVERPITCH/ Page 53
By BEN AHENDA
Former champions Ulinzi
Stars won their second con-
secutive Kenyan Premier
League match after overcom-
ing Top Fry Nakuru All Stars by
a solitary goal at Afraha Stadi-
um in Nakuru yesterday.
Ulinzi who attacked when
they had a chance and defend-
ed well when called upon,
scored the all-important goal
in the 32nd minute through
industrious Job Muhati from a
well-executed corner kick by
ace striker Steve Waruru.
This was after some well-
planned sporadic attacks by
Ulinzi forwards who over-
worked Top Fry defence but
wasted the chances.
It resulted in Waruru seeing
his powerful drive parried out
by Top Fry custodian Ronnie
Kagunzi for a fruitless corner
kick, thanks to the steadiness
of defender Bernard Odhiam-
bo.
Kagunzi was later substi-
tuted with Steve Omondi in
the second half after he was
injured in an effort to clear a
dangerous move in his goal-
mouth.
A ROUGH AFTERNOON
On their part, Top Frys
John Ndirangu kept Ulinzi de-
fence busy and custodian
Francis Ochieng had a rough
afternoon between the posts.
Sensing danger, Top Fry
tactician Peter Okidi rested Se-
bastian Muchera and Teddy
Siwa for Erastus Mwaniki and
Anthony Nganga, a move that
saw a good combination be-
tween the duo and Maurice
Odhiambo, but poor nishing
was their main undoing.
Ulinzi coach Robert Mata-
no benched Kevin Amwayi,
Muhati (Job) and Waruru
(Steve) for Oliver Agwanda, Al-
lan Abulala and Mohammed
Ombongi respectively.
Matano later told Fever-
Pitch in a post match inter-
view said, My boys have
steadily improved in all de-
partments and are determined
to win more matches.
Top Fry coach Peter Okidi
blamed the defeat on the slip-
pery pitch, which he said af-
fected his format of play. At the
same time, he blamed the ref-
eree for denying them an obvi-
ous penalty.
Mathare United conquer City, Dockers
share honours with Sony Sugar
By REBECCA GICHANA
and ERNEST NDUNDA
A lone goal from Noah
Abich in the 55th minute was
enough for Mathare United to
seal a Kenyan Premier League
victory over City Stars at the
Kenyatta Stadium in Macha-
kos.
Former Tusker player, Abich
scored from the spot for the
home team when City Stars
defender Dennis Nganga
handled the ball in the penalty
area.
The hosts had more chanc-
es on goal in the rst 20 min-
utes of the match compared to
their opponents.
The visitors intensied at-
tacks but Mathares custodian
Robert Mboya rose to the oc-
casion making very important
saves to deny City Stars a
goal.
Coaches from both sides
maintained the squads that
started the match until half
time mark with the teams set-
tling for a barren draw by the
breather.
On resumption of the sec-
ond half, Jimmy Bageyas shot
went wide just a minute into
the match but the home team
seemed the better side in the
second half executing com-
plete passes to counter their
opponents.
In Mombasa, Bandari paid
dearly for wasting three gold-
en scoring opportunities be-
fore they struggled to hold So-
ny Sugar to a 1-1 draw in
another league match at the
Mombasa County Stadium.
Bandari started the match
on a low note forcing Sony
Sugar to dominate the opening
minutes of the match.
The Dockers could have
scored two goals in the rst
half but striker Keffa Aswani
wasted two clear opportuni-
ties after he was fed by Bruno
Sserenkuma who had a eld
day.
Samuel Onyango shot Sony
Sugar ahead in the in the 33rd
minute after he connected in-
to the net a neat pass from Ben
Baraza as the score stood at 1-0
at the breather.
In the match handled by
referee Anthony Ongwayo,
Bandari seemed out of game
after the start of the second
half, being frustrated forcing
them to receive unwarranted
yellow cards through Victor
Majid and Mohammed Shariff
who misses the next match af-
ter accumulating ve yellow
cards.
Abdulatif Omar converted
a penalty to level for Bandari
after Charles Odete handled in
the box in the 64th minute.
Bandari rested Humphrey
Okoti, Kennedy Oduor and
Mohammed Mwachiponi for
Islam Omar, Victor Majid and
Justus Anene while Sony Sugar
benched Ben Baraza, Edwin
Oduor and Steve Biko for Syl-
vester Wanyama, Evans Wan-
dera and Amos Asembeka.
ENCOUNTER ABORTED
AFC fans riot at Nyayo,
Brewers stop Taxmen as
Muhoroni beat Bankers
Alfred Onyango (left) of Sony vies
with Aswani Keffa of Bandari at
Mbaraki. [Photo: GIDEON MAUINDU]
Limuru Club golfers, from
left, Caroline Ngugi
Wangari, Rose Mambo and
Martha Vincent protest
being discriminated by
their members recently.
[PHOTO: FILE/ STANDARD]
By ELIZABETH MBURUGU
and GILBERT WANDERA
Eight minutes to the stop-
page time, police were forced
to engage AFC Leopards fans
in running battles throwing
tear gas at them during Ke-
nyan Premier League match at
Nyayo Stadium yesterday.
Thika United were leading
1-0 courtesy of free kick from
Dennis Odhiambo in the 15th
minute.
Fans were demanding re-
moval of Secretary General
George Aladwa. Thika coach
John Kamau opted not to allow
his troops back to the pitch de-
spite referee Nasur Doka inter-
vention.
Earlier at the same venue,
Muhoroni Youth beat KCB 1-0.
Abass Akinyemi scored the on-
ly goal of the match for
Muhoroni Youth converting
from the penalty spot in the
55th minute.
At Meru Stadium, Tusker
hit KRA 3-1 as the league was
played at the venue for the rst
time.
Goals from Clifford Alwan-
ga in the 35th minute, Brian
Osumba in the 53rd minute
and Lloyd Wahome in the 85th
minute helped Tusker to
bounce back to winning ways
after a three match losing
streak.
For KRA, it was their rst
loss in six matches.
Their only goal of the match
was scored by Barrack Odhia-
mbo in the 68th minute.
Thousands of fans thronged
Meru Stadium, including Meru
Governor Peter Munya, to
cheer the brewers and he
promised that more interna-
tional matches will be played
at the venue.
The brewers could easily
have been three goals up be-
fore the send of the rst half
had they utilised their chanc-
es. Coming into the match
from a long losing streak, the
brewers were on re and
showed every intention to pick
maximum points.
OPEN CHANCE
Tuskers rst chance of the
match came early. But Athman
Buki failed to tap home an
open chance in the sixth min-
ute and then Jockins Atudo
was denied from a long range
free kick.
Alwanga who was wasteful
in the rst half set up Brian Os-
umba at the tenth minute
mark but the latter failed to tap
home.
Two minutes later Kevin Ki-
mani forced KRA goalkeeper
Philip Odhiambo to a desper-
ate save resulting in the rst
corner of the match.
Alwanga nally scored in
the 35th minute after he
chipped home an Athman Bu-
ki pass.
The brewers kept up the
pressure even as the second
half kicked off as Lloyd Wa-
home failed to head home
home from a Jockins Atudo
throw in.
Osumba made up for the
miss in the 53rd minute after
he dispossessed a KRA defend-
er to score.
But the tax men pulled back
in the 68th minute from
Odhiambo. The goal inspired
KRA and they should have got
a second almost immediately.
However, it was Tusker who
had the last laugh with a Lloyd
Wahome goal to pick all three
points.
Ulinzi roll
over Top Fry
in Nakuru
derby
AFC fans break loose before the end of the match after they were beaten 1-0 by Thika United
at Nyayo Stadium, yesterday. The match was called off. [PHOTO: BONIFACE OKENDO/ STANDARD]
MatharesDanielMwaura(front)
blocksDennisNgangaofCity
Stars.[PHOTO: JONAH ONYANGO]
Tuskers Clifford
Alwanga (left) and KRAs
Rodgers Ochieng tussle
for the ball at Kinoro
Stadium. [PHOTO:
DENNIS OKEYO/ STAN-
DARD]
Divisions threaten Indomitable Lions World Cup campaign, P.55
Page 54 / FEVERPITCH Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
Samir Nasri (left) celebrates
with Pablo Zabaleta.
man Nasri told Sky Sports.
There are no words to
explain my feelings now.
For Chilean Pellegrini it
was a rst league title since
he won the Clausura with
River Plate in Argentina in
2003 and a maiden success
in Europe.
Im just so happy for the
manager as well because its
his rst title in Europe, its
amazing, Nasri added.
The atmosphere at An-
eld was muted as an own
goal from Martin Skrtel put
Newcastle ahead in the rst
half, but goals from Daniel
Agger and Daniel Sturridge
ensured they ended with vic-
tory against opponents who
had Shola Ameobi and Paul
Dummett sent off.
Chelsea had to settle for
third spot after coming from
a goal down to win 2-1 at Car-
diff City, ending a trophyless
rst season back in England
for manager Jose Mourinho.
United drew 1-1 at South-
ampton in Ryan Giggss -
nal game as interim man-
ager, which saw last seasons
champions nish 22 points
below cross-town rivals City
in seventh place after a mis-
erable campaign.
United captain Nemanja
Vidic, playing his last game
for the club, was left with a
bloodied nose by Ricky Lam-
bert as the Southampton
striker put the hosts in front
in the 28th minute. Juan
Mata equalised for United
with a sumptuous free-kick
early in the second half.
Norwich Citys relegation
was conrmed after they
lost 2-0 at home to Arsenal,
although they were already
practically assured of joining
Fulham and Cardiff City in
the Championship.
Aaron Ramseys sublime
53rd-minute volley put Ar-
senal ahead, with Carl Jen-
kinson adding a second goal
shortly after.
Arsenals FA Cup nal op-
ponents Hull City nished
the campaign by losing 2-0
at home to fth-place Ever-
ton, who prevailed through
goals from James McCarthy
and Romelu Lukaku.
Third-place Chelsea,
meanwhile, came from be-
hind to win 2-1 at relegated
Cardiff, with Andre Schurrle
and Fernando Torres secur-
ing victory after Craig Bel-
lamy had put the Welsh club
ahead.
Elsewhere, Swansea City
spoilt Sunderlands survival
party with a 3-1 win at the
Stadium of Light, while Stoke
City won 2-1 at West Bro-
mwich Albion and Fulham
drew 2-2 to Crystal Palace.
Agencies
Continued From P56
... but no one will remember who nished second
REDS GAVE IT ALL
Manchester City win Premier League title
LIVERPOOL
Liverpool came from be-
hind to defeat Newcastle
but were denied the Premier
League title by Manchester
Citys victory over West Ham.
Needing a win and a City
defeat to capture the league,
Liverpool fell behind to a Mar-
tin Skrtel own goal.
But the match turned
around when Daniel Agger and
Daniel Sturridge converted
Steven Gerrard free-kicks.
Newcastle striker Shola
Ameobi saw red for dissent and
team-mate Paul Dummett was
sent off for fouling Luis Suarez.
Liverpool had been in con-
trol of the title race with three
games remaining before a 2-0
defeat by Chelsea and a 3-3
draw at Crystal Palace handed
the initiative to City.
A 2-0 victory over West Ham
for Manuel Pellegrinis team on
Sunday ensured Liverpools re-
sult was academic.
EUROPEAN FOOTBALL
Eslewhere, Tottenham
sealed their place in next sea-
sons Europa League in em-
phatic fashion with a 3-0 win
over Aston Villa on Sunday.
However, it was the end
for Norwich City, who got rel-
egated from English Premier
League. Sunderland remained
in the top ight despite slump-
ing to a 3-1 home defeat to
Swansea City.
Tim Sherwoods team need-
ed a point to ensure the sixth
place nish in the Premier
League which would guaran-
tee a place in Europes second
tier club competition.
Paulinho opened the scor-
ing and Nathan Bakers own
goal increased Tottenhams lead
before Emmanuel Adebayors
penalty nished off lacklustre
Villa before the break.
TOP: Liverpools
Steven Gerrard
congratulates
striker Daniel
Sturridge after he
scored against
Newcastle United
at Aneld
stadium yester-
day. LEFT: Arsenal
play against
Norwich City.
RIGHT: Tottenham
Hotspurs in action
against Aston
Villa. [PHOTO: AFP]
FEVERPITCH / Page 55 Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
FastTrack
CHALLENGE: Defensive
woes could hinder Japan
Japans hopes of advancing to
the second round of the World
Cup in Brazil rely on manager
Alberto Zaccheronis ability to
tighten up the sides talented-
yet-leaky defence, according
to former Iran boss Afshin
Ghotbi. Japans 2-2 draw with
Netherlands followed by a 3-2
win over Belgium in November
friendlies have convinced Ghotbi
that the Blue Samurai are a
force to be reckoned with going
forward but that goal threat is
hampered by a lack of solidity at
the back. Reuters
FOCUS: Hard-tackling
Herrera seeks Mexico lift
Miguel Herrera, an iron man
tackler as a player and ery
competitor as a coach, may have
been just the man to rescue
Mexico when all seemed lost last
year. And the 46-year-old still
believes his teams underdog
status can help create a World
Cup shock next month. Herrera
was brought in as the fourth
coach in six weeks last year as
Mexico appeared on the brink of
failing to qualify for the World
Cup nals a huge shock to the
national psyche. His side made
the cut by trouncing New Zealand
in an inter-continental playoff.
AFP
FANS: Belgian diabolica
will replace Vuvuzela
Move over vuvuzela. A
compact, Belgian-made
trumpet dubbed diabolica
is gearing up to replace the
South African horn as the
noisemaker of choice at the
next World Cup games in
Brazil. Its young designers
said they are overwhelmed
by the ood of orders coming
from all over the world, and
predict that a million models
will be sold by the time the
month-long tournament starts
on June 12. Unlike the long,
plastic vuvuzela whose love-
it-or-hate-it drone went global
at the last World Cup in South
Africa in 2010 the diabolica
is easier to carry, collapsing to
12 centimetres. Reuters
Liverpools striker Luis Suarez
celebrates scoring a goal.
Divisions threaten Indomitable
Lions World Cup campaign
YAOUNDE
Cameroon have brilliant
players like Samuel Etoo but
keeping them together holds
the key to 2014 World Cup suc-
cess as the team makes a record
seventh appearance by an Afri-
can country.
Squad cliques were blamed
for a disastrous 2010 tourna-
ment in South Africa with the
Indomitable Lions losing all
three matches they played. The
same cannot happen in Group
A this year against hosts Brazil,
Croatia and Mexico.
Captain and star striker
Etoo was at the centre of the
2010 storm as some players
backed him while others sided
with deposed skipper Rigobert
Song.
French coach Paul le Guen
replaced ageing Song with for-
mer Barcelona and Inter Mi-
lan star Etoo a year before the
World Cup. The move opened
deep wounds with Barcelona
midelder Alex Song, a relative
of Rigobert, among those who
shunned the national team for
a long time after the debacle.
However, Sevilla midelder
Stephane Mbia believes Cam-
eroon, the rst of only three
African nations to reach the
World Cup quarter-nals, can
present a united front.
PLAY TOGETHER
Everybody is ready to listen
to each other and to make sac-
rices, he said. We are ready
to give our best for the sake of
the country, our team-mates
and ourselves.
But not everyone is con-
vinced and Etoo complained
that team-mates refused to
pass him the ball during a play-
off in Tunisia late last year.
Defender Benoit Assou-
Ekotto from English second-
tier outt Queens Park Rangers
condemned other players in an
interview.
This team compares fa-
vourably with the one which
reached the 1990 quarter-nals
in terms of technique and skill.
But when the players meet
they all consider themselves
big shots from top clubs and
silly little problems spoil the
changeroom atmosphere.
Many of us are parents,
but it is us adults who are act-
ing like children. We need to
change our mindsets and put
the egos aside.
POOR RECORD
Haphazard preparations
have also previously hampered
Cameroon, who have won just
one of 12 World Cup games
since the last-eight loss to Eng-
land 24 years ago.
Mbia said: We must prepare
better than in 2010 because we
are in a difcult group.
Record ve-time world
champions and hosts Brazil are
overwhelming favourites to top
Group A, leaving Cameroon,
Croatia and Mexico to scrap for
the other second-round place.
Francois Omam-Biyik, a
star of the 1990 squad inspired
by Roger Milla, fears the Lions
will be among early departures
from South America.
Cameroon cannot get past
the rst round because al-
though they have quality foot-
ballers, the team does not play
as a unit. Everybody believes
he is a star and it will be tough
winning against Brazil at home
Croatia and Mexico, he said.
German coach Volker Finke
plans to prove the doubters
wrong and says 33-year-old
Chelsea goal poacher Etoo will
play a vital role.
Samuel is back to his best
level at Chelsea. He is the best
Cameroonian footballer and
can make a big difference.
Former Liverpool goalkeep-
er Charles Itandje, centre-back
Nicolas Nkoulou, midelders
Jean Makoun and Song and
striker Benjamin Moukandjo
are other key gures. AFP
LONDON
Chelsea manager Jose
Mourinho has claimed that
Liverpool striker Luis Suarez
is an unworthy choice as
this seasons Premier League
player of the year.
Luis Suarez is a very good
player. Theyre not voting for
a player who has no quality,
Mourinho said, in comments
carried by several British
newspapers on Sunday.
(But) the prole of player
who wins the player of the
year is not the prole of play-
er who used to win in English
football 10, eight, six years
ago.
Suarez was banned for 10
matches after biting Chel-
seas Branislav Ivanovic last
season, but has returned to
become the countrys out-
standing player, scoring 31
league goals to inspire Liver-
pools title challenge.
He was subsequently
elected player of the year by
both the Professional Foot-
ballers Association and the
Football Writers Associa-
tion.
Mourinho has criticised
Suarez this season, accusing
him of pulling off an acro-
batic swimming pool dive
in a vain bid to win a penalty
during Liverpools 2-1 defeat
at Chelsea in December.
The Chelsea manager also
believes that the player of the
season should come from
the Premier League champi-
ons, and it is City rather than
Liverpool who are in pole po-
sition to secure the title later
on Sunday.
He bit (Ivanovic) not this
season, but the previous sea-
son. This is a different sea-
son, Mourinho said.
Im not speaking about
one mistake that a man can
have. You dont have to be
punished for the rest of your
life if you make a mistake on
the football pitch.
(But) my player of the
year would be always from
the champions, in every con-
dition. If the champion is
Man City -- they need a point
-- I would say a Man City
player and if I have to choose
one, I would choose (Edin)
Dzeko.
In praising Dzeko,
Mourinho directed several
veiled criticisms at Suarez.
The kind of player he is,
hes not just a goalscorer,
the Portuguese said. He as-
sists, he plays, he behaves,
hes fair, doesnt dive, doesnt
try to put opponents in the
stands with accumulation of
cards.
He was the third striker
at the beginning of the sea-
son. He was hidden behind
his managers rst choices
and when the team needed
him in crucial moments of
the season, I think he made
the difference.
In this moment I think
he has 16 goals. Sixteen goals
for the third striker is some-
thing spectacular.
AFP
CAMEROON GO HUNTING
Mourinho says Luis Suarez undeserving of awards
Tunisian striker Yassine Chikhaoui
(left) vies with Cameroons forward
Bilong Song during the World Cup
qualication match in October at the
Rades Olympic Stadium in Tunis.
[PHOTO:AFP]
31
DAYS TO GO
FEVERPITCH
Monday, May 12, 2014
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7 Pages of SizzIing Sport coverage!
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On Muy 22, Tuskef wefe uI home uguInsI Gof Mu-
hIu, buI InsIeud oI pIuyIng Ihe hxIufe In NuIfobI, de-
cIded Io Iuke Ihe muIch Io MumIus Io uvoId Ihe In-
IImIduIIng 'Gfeen Afmy` us Ihey hunIed Iof muxImum
poInIs Ifom Ihe muIch.
The pIoI dId noI wofk, us Ihe 'Gfeen Afmy` some-
how Iound IIs wuy InIo Ihe MumIus CompIex In u
muIch IhuI ended In u buffen dfuw.
ThIs IIme, Ihe bfewefs huve no opIIon us Ihey
come Iuce-Io-Iuce wIIh Ihe ufmy us Ihe Iwo sIdes
meeI In mIdweek Ieugue cIush uI Nyuyo SIudIum Io-
moffow evenIng.
The hxIufe Is cfucIuI Iof boIh sIdes, whIch seek Io
keep up Ihe chuse on Ieudefs Bungefs.
Gof MuhIu skIppef JefIm Onyungo hud no kInd
Saturday 8arcede
Suuday 8arcede
Saturday 8arcede
Suuday 8arcede
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HAIL THE
CHAMPIONS
MANCHESTER
Manchester City clinched a second Premier League
title in three seasons with a 2-0 win over West Ham
United on Sunday that sent their Etihad Stadium into
raptures and condemned Liverpool to second place.
Blue and white ticker tape rained down and fans
poured onto the pitch at the nal whistle as City, who
only needed a draw to win the trophy, nished two
points clear of Liverpool whose campaign ended with a
2-1 win over Newcastle United.
Samir Nasri calmed City nerves by drilling them
ahead in 39th minute and captain Vincent Kompanys
neat nish four minutes after halftime put the hosts in
cruise control, rounding off a superb debut season for
manager Manuel Pellegrini.
Its an amazing feeling. My second title in three
years. It was an amazing league the whole year, French-
Blue side of Manchester
wins English league title
CONTINUED ON PAGE 54
Manchester Citys captain
Vincent Kompany celebrates
with the English Premier
League trophy following their
win against West Ham United
at the Etihad Stadium
yesterday. [PHOTO: REUTERS]
Monday
Kick Off Your Week
The Perfect Way To
Monday
STANDARD
WITH THE
Pullout Section B Monday, May 12, 2014
Monday
Kick Off Your Week
The Perfect Way To
Monday
STANDARD
WITH THE
Oyunga
Pala:
Theres no
such thing
as a sworn
bachelor;
Clooneys
getting
married P4
Men & Rejection
Strange men who just cant take a
no from women,P8-9
Page 2 / CRAZY MONDAY Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
ODDS AND ENDS
Investigations
launched following
botched execution
A strange story is re-
ported about American
authorities. They have ap-
parently launched inves-
tigations into the death of
a death row inmate who
prematurely died during
his execution.
................................Page 3
POLITICALLY
INCORRECT
Africa sinks as we
watch, what a shame!
Peter Wanyonyi is afraid
that there is devastation
all over Africa, and no one
seems to care. He calls on
Africans to swing into ac-
tion, lest the continent
goes to the dogs.
............................Page 6
FEMINIST
Nothing such as gold
diggers, some women
just love moneyed men
Anne Muiruri argues that
men should not grumble,
complain and call wom-
en who love moneyed
men gold diggers. She
urges men to stop ap-
plying double standards.
.............................Page 10
TEACHERS DIARY
Students arrives in
style as school opens
Mwalimu Socrates nar-
rates about students in his
school who hired a matatu
with loud music to bring
them to school, annoying
the headmaster.
.............................Page 11
UGANDAN AFFAIRS
Of jalopies and why
Ugandans fear being
rained on
Grace Nakato reports on
why Ugandans dont like
being rained on, and why
they drive very old cars
without authorities rein-
ing in on them.
Page 14
In 1 Minute...
myturn
Group Managing Editor (Print): Kipkoech Tanui
Deputy Managing Editor Daily Editions: Peter Okongo
Revise Editor: Henry Munene
Sub-Editor: Tony Malesi Staff Writer: Silas Nyanchwani
Writers: Ted Malanda, Peter Wanyonyi, Anil Bakari, Ferdinand Mwongela, Anne
Muiruri, Nikko Tanui, Oyunga Pala, Bill Odunga, Tony Masikonde and Mark
Mutahi, Mwalimu Socrates, Hamza Babu
Manager Print Creative : Dan Weloba Creative Designer: Liz Wanjiku
Photography: Tabitha Otwori, Boniface Okendo,
Illustration: Kennedy Kaburu, Michael Munene
E-mail: crazymonday@standardmedia.co.ke
Website: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke
All correspondence to Crazy Monday is assumed to be intended for
publication. Crazy Monday accepts no responsibility for unsolicited
manuscripts, artworks or photographs.
All rights on publication remain with the publisher
CUTE BABE: Gentlemen, heres a sample of what awaits you in Brazil.
www.standardmedia.co.ke
JOIN US ONLINE AT
Sexiest woman in the world
So Jennifer Lawrence has been crowned
Sexiest Woman in the World 2014?
Okay, let God grant some of us the grace to
accept things we can do nothing about, and
the wisdom to remember the following:
The Queen immediately the Oscars
were announced, feted all nalists and
invited them to Buckingham Palace. Poor
Lupita Nyongo is yet to land an invite to
State House Nairobi and has to settle for
congratulations dispatched from our Head
of State. For the record, Oprah Winfrey
and Jennifer were the ladies sitting next to
Lupita when our very own was called out to
receive the Oscar that Jennifer was widely
expected to take home. Who is sexier now?
Send comments and feedback on
our stories to
crazymonday@standardmedia.co.ke
and like our Ofcial Crazy Monday
Magazine on Facebook.
To
n
y
M
a
lesi
CHICKENED OUT: See, AFC Leopard has turned to juju.
M
ost African governments have poor communication units, or so it seems.
A couple of weeks ago, Nigerias dreaded Islamist terror group, Boko
Haram, kidnapped over 230 girls from a boarding school. When the
breaking news reached my desk, courtesy of a Crazy Monday West Af-
rica-based correspondent, the Nigerian government denied such an oc-
currence ever happening.
Later, they changed tune, and claimed that indeed girls had been kidnapped,
but they had rescued them. Much later, the tune changed, again, to, No, weve
only found some of the girls. Before long, under pressure from parents, they
claried by saying, Weve got back most of the girls. Things got thick and they
confessed, We havent found any of the girls. But what tickled me most was their
later clarication, No, we didnt say we had found the girls.
Disappointingly, the Islamists went back to the area and kidnapped eight more
girls. Never mind the area has been under a state of emergency! Only in Africa!
Doesnt this remind you about Interior Cabinet Secretary Ole Lenkus square-peg-
in-round-hole performance Westgate? Boy, Kenyans werent treated to a circus by
government authorities! Oh, those are some mattresses our boys are burning;
oh no, its the desperate terrorists burning them to scare our security men; oh, a
woman is among those terrorists; in fact, they are 10 to 15 terrorists; now weve
cordoned them in a corner now we have killed all of them (never mind gun-
shots went on for a couple of days). Only to be told all terrorists escaped!
How about the famous lose bulb falling into a dustbin and causing the JKIA
blast, only for some four men to be produced in court to answer to terrorism-
related charges? Elsewhere, some time back, a Zimbabwe court acquitted a man
who had been charged with planning to use president Robert Mugabes election
poster as toilet paper, at a bar. Apparently, comrade Bob Mugabes sycophant
spotted the man, pounced on him and frogmarched him to a nearby police sta-
tion! Thank God the court threw out the matter. Sticking with matters toilet, a
couple of years ago, a daring policeman was arrested for using a toilet preserved
for comrade Bob at a function.
Pressed by a call of nature, the good cop, seeing as there was no bush nearby to
rush to, dashed to the nearest toilet. Disastrously, the gods and nature had trans-
pired and ensured his goose gets cooked, when it turned out that the toilet in
question belonged to Mugabe. The policemans colleagues manning the loo tried
to stop him but wapi! He wrestled and overpowered them, and used the facility. A
scandal! How could he dare! He was, of course, arrested and jailed.
And if you thought that was funny, then, clearly, you missed the one about a
politician who while waiting for commencement of his court case, and in a bid to
keep his restless eyes busy, stared at a portrait of Mugabe in the silent court and
loudly mumbled, How are you, father? How is your health? The gesture tickled
the quiet court, leaving people in stitches. Guess what, the poor soul was arrested
and charged with insulting Comrade Bob. Let me not talk about that politician
who was arrested and hauled to court for calling Mugabe a limping donkey! Dont
forget, it was also in Zimbabwe where a gang of females waylaying men and steal-
ing (or was it harvesting?) semen was busted and arrested! How about those South
African robbers who were only interested in stealing dreadlocks? Africa is funny,
isnt it? Meanwhile, surprise! Surprise! Guess whos back? Starting next week, I
present to you one of the nest satirist, humourist in the country. Mark Mutahi is
back, with a bang. Enjoy.
THE COMEDY THAT IS AFRICA
Quotes
The less youtalk, the more youre listenedto.
PaulinePhillips
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her
eyes.
JimCarrey
GotoHeavenfor the climate, Hell for the company.
MarkTwain
CRAZY MONDAY / Page 3
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
Probe launched as death row
inmate dies after botched execution
odds&ends
A
mericans are crazy. Appar-
ently, an American death row
inmate in Oklahoma died of
a heart attack after his ex-
ecution was halted because
the lethal injection failed to work
properly. Interestingly, authorities
have launched investigations into
the matter!
Why investigate, yet the man
was going to die anyway? Whats
more, the man, together with fellow
death row inmates, had unsuccess-
fully moved to court to challenge
the usage of the drugs used in the
botched execution. The state
maintains the law is necessary to
protect the suppliers from legal ac-
tion and harassment.
The inmates argued they needed
to know the names of the suppli-
ers in order to ensure the quality
of the drugs that would be used to
kill them and to be certain that they
had been obtained legally.
The execution of Clayton Lock-
ett, 38, was stopped after 20 min-
utes, when one of his veins rap-
tured, preventing the drugs from
taking full effect. The execution of a
fellow inmate, due two hours later,
was postponed.
The problems surrounding
Locketts execution come amid a
wider debate over the legality of the
three-drug method and whether its
use violates guarantees in the US
constitution against cruel and un-
usual punishment.
Lockett was sentenced to death
for shooting 19-year-old Stephanie
Neiman and watching as two ac-
complices buried her alive in 1999.
Ms Neiman and a friend had in-
terrupted the men as they robbed a
home.
TOTALLY BOTCHED
Lockett writhed and shook un-
controllably after the drugs were
administered, witnesses said. We
believe that a vein was blown and
the drugs werent working as they
were designed to. The director or-
dered a halt to the execution, Okla-
homa Department of Corrections
spokesman Jerry Massie said.
But Locketts lawyer, David Au-
try, questioned the remarks, insist-
ing his client had large arms and
very prominent veins, according to
the Associated Press. The prisoner
was moving his arms and legs and
straining his head, mumbling as
if he was trying to talk, Courtney
Francisco, a local journalist present
at the execution, told the BBC.
Prison ofcials pulled a curtain
across the view of witnesses when
it became apparent that something
had gone wrong. It was a horrible
thing to witness. This was totally
botched, Mr Autry said.
Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin
said in a statement that she had or-
dered a full review of the states ex-
ecution procedures.
Fellow inmate Charles Warner,
46, had been scheduled to be put to
death in the same room two hours
later in a rare double execution.
Charles Warner was due to be ex-
ecuted two hours after Lockett War-
ners lawyer, Madeline Cohen, who
witnessed Locketts execution, said
he had been tortured to death and
called for an investigation.
The state must disclose com-
plete information about the drugs,
including their purity, efcacy,
source and the results of any test-
ing, she said.Warner was convict-
ed of the 1997 murder and rape of
an 11-month-old girl.
He and Lockett had unsuccess-
fully challenged an Oklahoma state
law that blocks ofcials from reveal-
ing even in court the identities of
the companies supplying the drugs.
US states have encountered increas-
ing problems in obtaining the drugs
for lethal injections, amid an em-
bargo by European pharmaceutical
rms.
Some have turned to untried
combinations of drugs or have
sought to obtain the drugs custom-
made from compounding phar-
macies. It was presented as a more
humane replacement for lethal gas
and the electric chair, but critics of
the three-drug protocol say it could
cause unnecessary suffering.
Adopted from BBC
Picturespeak Crazy pictures from social media
-Source: Internet
Page 4 / CRAZY MONDAY Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
thesecrazykenyans/OYUNGA PALA FINDS THE HUMAN IN THE KENYAN
I wouldnt be optimistic of
the options out there. You would
have better luck nding a hen
with teeth than a single man over
40 devoid of serious baggage.
SOLID ALIBI
For aspiring bachelors, Cloo-
ney is not the ideal role model.
Anyone who is not married by
53, had better have a solid alibi
for this omission in their life.
An independent and successful
Theres no such thing as a sworn bachelor
T
he number of lives lost
to alcohol has surpassed
terrorism and is possibly
only rivalled by road ac-
cidents. Examined closely,
many of those road accidents
are caused by alcoholism, which
probably places alcohol as one
of the countrys deadliest killers.
Despite the well-funded organi-
sations tasked with regulating
alcohol use, fatalities still occur
fairly regularly.
PERMANENT BLACKOUT
Beer manufacturers have taken
to preaching about responsibil-
ity. While the cigarette manu-
facturer pretty much tells you,
to your face, that you may go
impotent, lose your teeth and
lungs and eventually die from
Alcohol blues
P
opular local band Sauti
Sol released a music vid-
eo that set the Internet
ablaze. Extracted from
their upcoming album,
Live and Die In Africa, the hit
song Nishike was rated too hot
for TV.
It went on to garner over
100,000 You Tube views within
24 hours and the last time I
checked, it was climbing on
upwards to 300,000 in under
two weeks. The videos popu-
larity has a lot to do with its ex-
plicit content. The boys are bare
chested, oiled down and pull-
ing some raunchy dance moves
with equally skimpily dressed
and endowed models.
Yes, marketers, sex sells. I
conducted my own poll among
my female friends and they all
admitted that when they rst
watched the video, they did not
hear a single lyric other than
Nishike.
SEX APPEAL
Naturally, the moral police came
out guns blazing, accusing the
boys of aping the west and us-
ing sex appeal to sell their wares.
Some TV stations declared the
contents of the video were in-
appropriate for family viewing.
This is where they get my goat.
A
way from the depress-
ing local news headlines,
Hollywoods most eligible
bachelor is off the market.
The guy, who made bach-
elorhood seem like a calling, is
getting hitched.
Personally, I like George Cloo-
ney. He is a decent actor who
always struck me as accessible
and his work had some measure
of principle. I liked his roles in
Oceans Eleven franchise and in
the Syriana. His political/hu-
manitarian activism in places
such as Darfur and Haiti had im-
pact.
But we know Clooney more
for the string of beautiful women
he dated and the endless maga-
zine covers that focused solely
on his sexiness and eligibility.
George Clooney, described as
one of the enduring male sex
symbols of the silver screen, had
often sworn he would never get
married.
Therefore, his change of heart
has shone a huge spotlight on
the exotic woman who stole his
heart. Her name is Amal Ala-
muddin, a British-Lebanese who
is the perfect beauty-and-brains
package. She has a resume that
will impress even her most en-
vious critics. She advised Kof
Annan on Syria and represented
Wikileaks founder Julian As-
sange in his ght against extra-
dition. Clearly, she is the brainy
Of Sauti Sols Nishike video and Kenyan hypocrisy
from previous relationships and
change even the most rigid of
cynics.
The narrative for single wom-
en who intimidate men with
their brains is one of hope. Amal
found George, so the prospects
cannot be that bad. Hang in
there, make no compromise and
some good man, who is rich,
famous, good-looking and ter-
ribly well-mannered will come
knocking.
one in the relationship and at
53 years of age, George Clooney
will come out shining for hook-
ing up with a smarter woman.
Women respect men who are not
intimidated by sharp women. It
is a sign of cahones because the
popular myth is that men cower
when faced with the prospect of
life with an intellectually supe-
rior woman.
SERIOUS BAGGAGE
George knew that stakes were
high here. So he proposed to
Amal with a $750, 000 (Sh65.2m)
diamond ring.
I doubt there would be a girl
out there who would hesitate for
a moment at the sight of a rock
that large. Therefore, what can
we learn from this George affair,
for as it is written in Hollywood,
so shall it play out in our inno-
cent lives?
The rst is that some things
do not change. Nothing says, I
love you more clearly than a
diamond.
Second is that there is no
such thing as a sworn bach-
elor. A man may live in denial
for years but as long as he has
a ourishing career and some
measure of stability, sooner or
later some woman will convince
him to make room for two on
his island.
Thirdly, the right woman can
clear all doubts and hurts held
Kenyans are quite tolerant of ex-
plicit music videos and steamy
movie scenes as long they are
labelled foreign. A Mexican soap
opera star burying her tongue
down her lovers throat while ev-
eryone is at dinner will raise no
ags.
A racy Rihanna video would
never attract the attention of of-
cials at the censorship board.
Moves inspired by Beyonce in a
lace bikini grinding her bottom
on a piece of furniture will be
the highlight of toddlers twerk-
smoking, the alcohol seller still
insists that all will be well as
long as you drink responsibly.
It is a catch-22. Responsible
drinking is achieved only after
the experience of irresponsible
drinking. The sober mind today
is often yesterdays drunk.
Authorities continue to remain
highly responsive after the di-
saster. More has to be done to
legitimise traditional brews to
allow the lower-end chaps en-
joy alcohol as a social right. As it
stands, those who are too poor
to afford a legit drink will al-
ways be one glass away from a
permanent blackout. Drinking
for Kenyans is a stress-coping
mechanism and the victims are
caught in the cycle of poverty,
depression and destruction.
woman in her 50s could always
level the excuse that men were
intimidated by her brilliance.
A bachelor in his 50s on the
other hand will be dismissed as
a miser shunning responsibility,
a woman hater and probably a
closeted gay man.
The bottom line? You cant be
single and happy forever. Some-
time, you will have to get mar-
ried.
ing contest at a soda and cookies
birthday party.
However, show me a picture
of a policewoman in a tight
skirt (hallo Linda Okello) and
you would have ignited a na-
tional debate on the morality
standards of womens clothing.
I suppose one of the key ingre-
dients of an effective moral sys-
tem, is hypocrisy.
Twitter: @realoyungapala
Website: oyungapala.com
CRAZY MONDAY / Page 5
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
Ted Malanda draws on the wisdom of his royal Wanga
ancestors to try and understand a world gone mad
lifesacircus
walkwithme...
S
omeone has bewitched
my sons all of them. And
that witchery is aimed at
their eyes, so that when
the teacher writes 2+2 on
the blackboard, they see noth-
ing. They have eyes, but they do
not see.
I have launched investiga-
tions into the matter. As we
speak, bones have been cast on
the oor to nger the miscreant,
and the problem will be xed
with the slaughter of a black
hen.
But in the meantime, just in
case, I visited the hospital to test
the white mans medicine, even
when I know it pales in compari-
son to the potent power inherent
in the slaughter of a black hen.
Those who know these things
better, however, say the eyes
would heal quicker if they were
spat upon by a 23-year-old vir-
gin.
But when I asked around
where such a woman could be
found, villagers convulsed on
the ground shaking with laugh-
ter and said, See? He ate books,
writes in the newspapers, but
knows nothing!
So to the doctor I went. Like
all doctors who treat eyes, he
wore glasses, meaning he, too,
has eyes, but does not see.
But to his credit, he saw the
problem very fast. What irked
me, however, is that instead of
saying who had bewitched my
sons, he blamed me, saying,
You wear glasses; they must
I
am happy to report that my
son, who happens to be a
student at one of the nest
public schools in Kenya, re-
ceived a lovely welcome as a
mono.
A more enlightened fellow
broke into his metallic box and
made off with his blazer, two
pairs of socks and a sweater.
That this school churns out
more As than some counties
means we will soon have very
sophisticated criminals.
I shudder to imagine who will
be investigating those crimes if
we continue using the ability to
run marathons, and not an IQ
test, as the criteria for recruiting
cops.
OPENING DAY
Anyway, as a result of having
to x this and that, the lad could
not report on opening day,
meaning I had to accompany
him to school.
First, we were fortunate to get
The not-so-funny side of back to school
have inherited it from you. In
short, he was accusing ME of
bewitching my children? Good
Lord! What do they teach these
people at the university?
Anyway, halfway through the
consultation, an elderly wom-
an pushed the door open and
said, Daktari, you treated my
daughter last month but I had
no money here, take this, and
thrust a few wrinkled notes his
way.
I formed the impression that
this happens quite a bit; that he
probably gets paid with chicken
as well.
When the old lady left, af-
The world of a rural doctor
ter offering profuse thanks (try
getting treatment at a mission
hospital on credit and see what
happens), the good doctor fur-
rowed his eyes and said, I will
be leaving the ofce shortly, but
if you tell me where your village
is, I can drop the glasses at the
market on my way to Kakamega
tomorrow
These village doctors do not
win awards. They do not drive
fancy cars, are not rich and work
in decrepit facilities. They charge
cheap and most times offer ser-
vices on credit and never get
paid. But they are the ones who
x diarrhoea and witchcraft and
Good morning, folks. Who can kindly forward to me the
phone contacts for the following: Cabinet Secretary for
Tourism, Inspector General of Police, Brand Kenya CEO and
the Independent Electoral Boundaries Commission? I just
wanted them to know that there has been a steady stream
of thousands of tourists into India these past two weeks.
Reason? Some 814 million eligible voters have been slugging
it out on what has become known as the biggest democratic
show on Earth. And before you ask, heres a free leakage:
Yes, there are separatists running around blowing up staff.
Yes there are hundreds of political parties, scores of religious
persuasions, trillionaires, dirt-poor, jigger-infested voters,
strong historical/cultural/legal/economic/political bonds to
Kenya, and a county-like system of government. Okay, now
what did you want to ask?
That governor in Western Kenya and the Mombasa administrator who
feel the Mganga-Maarufu-kutoka-Tanga-type fellows have no place
in society would be surprised to hear of some devotees in the North
Indian city of Agra, Uttar Pradesh. These Hindu worshippers claim
(with wide-eyed innocence and conviction) that drinking fresh cow
urine cures all diseases including cancer. And, yes, their adherents
have been quafng the stuff for centuries. Different strokes for
different folks I guess, but for now, each man/woman to his religion.
You see when I was urging Mama Taifa Margaret Kip-Kenyatta
to keep that history-making track suit and running shoes
safe; I was doing it knowing this is a World Cup year. Of
course that means there are more ways to raise funds for
this, that or the other cause. For instance, can you imagine
that 1,283 lucky fans of Brazilian football legend Pele will get
an opportunity to buy a strand of his hair? Yes, the 73-year-
olds hair not his playing days jersey or soccer boots this
time gets to make real chapaa out of his hair at Ksh652,000
($7,500). And folks think I am crazy!
Happy Belated Birthday Mr Land Rover. Remember that 66 years last
week, precisely on April 30, 1948 saw the birth of the rst Land Rover
prototype. Word has it that it premiered at Amsterdam Motor Show.
Listen to this direct quote: It was Cobbled together from Rover parts
(it used a 1.6-litre engine from the Rover P3 sedan) and a Jeep chassis,
the Series I was billed as a go-anywhere vehicle, a portable source
of power, and an alternative to the light tractor To illustrate the
utilitarian nature of the vehicle, the doors were sold separately.
Wow! Who can argue with that?
Whats all the hullabaloo about the Chinese Premier gracing
Kenya with a visit? Why is Kenya being accused of looking
East and loving all things Oriental like it is a bad thing? I
did not hear anyone accuse Obama or the French prezzo of
doing the same when Chinese president Xi Jinping toured
their countries! Get a life! Mark you, since no normal person
likes his bank manager, I am not just salivating at the extra
$15 billion credit lines, $100 million to protect our elephants
and rhinos from certain chaps who have a misguided view
of drugs to improve bed-minton. It is the prospect that the
Chinese could provide high-speed rail across the continent.
Hoping that means they will also have nished the standard
gauge line from Mombasa before then! Because, currently,
the journey to my shagz is quite a laborious pain, what with
speed governors, a ban on night travel and the very real
prospect of becoming past tense on any Kenyan road.
Finally
Blimey! And here I was buying that whole lie, hook, line and sinker
that Luis Moreno-Ocampo now works at FIFA! If he does, how come
there are reports that former vice-president of FIFA Jack Warner and
his family received $2 million from a Qatari company linked to the
countrys successful bid for the 2022 World Cup? They claim the cash
changed hands just after the controversial decision to award Qatar the
tourney and that it was paid into the accounts of Warners sons and
one of his employees. Ati, now FBI is investigating the matter! Kwani
what job did they give Ocampo at that place? And here I was mumbling
incoherently this past week about Anglo Leasing.
keep this nation alive.
If I were young, and had the
brains, I would be a rural doctor.
***
Some dogooder sms service
has been sending unsolicited
health information to my mobile
phone.
Sample the latest: If you nd
a swelling that feels warm next
to your anus, it could be a boil.
See a doctor.
Now, look, I am old, and edu-
cated enough (I studied Biology
at college and taught it for years),
to know what a boil is and when
to see a doctor. Now get lost!
Yours Truly
a Probox for half of the journey,
meaning a quarter of the Malan-
da clan almost perished.
Then we squeezed into a
matatu that was parked like
madness before I switched to
another packed rickety contrap-
tion for the last leg where the
conductor rode with his butt
protruding out of the window.
Maybe his stomach was bloated,
I mused.
CHEAP CIGGIES
Meanwhile, he was breathing
into my face and his breath was
not exactly as fragrant as Lu-
pita Nyongos (not that I would
know).
His choice of toothpaste smelt
like some concoction made from
stale changaa, cheap ciggies and
last weeks matumbo.
He had a toothpick wedged
in his mouth (early in the morn-
ing), too, and kept rattling off in
staccato fashion in his mother
tongue. Headache, pap!
And for all my troubles, the
school watchman made it clear
I had no role beyond the gate.
Why then must all students be
accompanied by a parent?
Page 6 / CRAZY MONDAY Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
politicallyincorrect/ A skewed look at the political scene
By PETER WANYONYI
B
ack when Africa was
still cut off from the
world, the continent
was anchored on four
countries Egypt to the
north, Nigeria to the west, Kenya
to the east, and South Africa.
The latter has always been the
unsung hero of Africa, possess-
ing vast deposits of minerals and
a rst-world economy that was
the strangely uplifting legacy of
a brutal system of institutiona-
lised oppression. In the centre
of Africa lay the Democratic Re-
public of Congo, a vast country
larger than all of Western Eu-
rope combined, and endowed
with enough natural resources
to make South Africa weep with
envy.
The 1990s, and the ve years
after that decade ended, were an
era of hope in Africa. South Af-
rica nally threw off the yoke of
apartheid, and we all imagined
that in a couple decades hence,
it would naturally emerge as the
leader of Africa in all elds, such
was its head start. In Nigeria,
military rule nally came to an
end in 1999, with a democratic
election that ushered in a civil-
ian administration.
In Egypt, there were good
prospects as the ending of the
Cold War led to new prosper-
ity for the Egyptian people, and
their president even lifted some
of the more odious restrictions
on movement of people and
freedom of assembly.
Even in Central Africa, the
DRC looked set for peace and
development at last, as stability
was achieved with the succes-
sive Kabila regimes, and min-
eral wealth nally began mak-
ing a difference in the countrys
provinces. And, in Kenya, multi-
party democracy nally arrived,
a peaceful handover of power
was achieved after an election
that the challenger won over-
whelmingly, and Kenyans were
even voted the most optimistic
people on earth.
CORRUPT NETWORKS
And then we lost it. Kenya
led the way with broken dreams,
as the old corrupt networks
made a vicious comeback after
a few years of being suppressed.
Scandals slowly but surely be-
gan emerging from the govern-
ments corruption kitchens, as
massive amounts of money were
It is tiring, disappointing
and annoying to hear the
same words over and over
again in response to whatever
atrocities terrorists choose
to visit upon us. After the
Westgate scandal, the
president vowed that Kenyans
would never again be made
to go through such attacks.
He then formed the Nairobi
Metropolitan Command, a
division of the Kenya Defence
Forces, to deal specically
with terror threats in
Nairobi. What happened to
that? Why are we still at
the mercy of terrorists
in buses, churches,
mosques and even in
the streets? Or should
we expect even worse in
the future?
looted by government ofcials
in thinly disguised schemes like
Anglo-Leasing and alleged mili-
tary procurement scandals. The
ght against corruption that we
had all envisaged was quickly
set aside as colossal appetites
for public money embarked on a
voracious eating spree.
We were not alone: in South
Africa, Jacob Zuma became pres-
ident. When future South Afri-
cans look behind from what will
then be a Zimbabwe-like wreck
of a country, they will note the
ascension of Zuma to the presi-
dency as the beginning of the rot
of their country. President Zuma
has turned South Africa into the
laughing stock of Africa, a conti-
nent with no shortage of presi-
dential buffoonery.
Asked about a recent refur-
Africa in dire need of leadership
to save her from age-old woes
responded by setting up a com-
mittee to look into the abduc-
tion.
Nigerias paralysis in the face
of what appears to be a fairly
straightforward threat is symp-
tomatic of the political rigor
mortis that has gripped African
states across the continent. The
problems that face the continent
are fairly obvious: there is a mas-
sive threat from various terror
groups which, thankfully, have
not yet seen it t to unite into
one huge ogre.
These terror groups are not
coming from nowhere: they are a
consequence of the corrupt net-
works that, in virtually every Af-
rican country, allow non-locals
to easily obtain identication
documents, including passports.
These intruders are free to sell on
these documents to terrorists.
Corrupt border ofcials will,
in any African country, take a lit-
tle cash to ignore inbound cargo.
In many cases, this cargo turns
out to contain weapons that will
then be used to commit crimes
or otherwise terrorise the citi-
zens of the country in question.
This glaring absence of lead-
ership is what Africa needs to
resolve. That, however, appears
unlikely to happen any time
soon in Africa.
Continent sinks as we watch
p
u
n
c
h
l
i
n
e
G
oodluck Jonathan is
a hapless politician.
Faced with the abduc-
tion of 230 schoolgirls
by the radical militia
Boko Haram, he went quiet for
two weeks, saying nothing at all.
When his government nally
emerged from hiding, it was a
government minister claiming
that the girls had been rescued.
This was quickly exposed as a
lie, however, and the claim was
quickly withdrawn.
The Nigerian government then
claimed that only a few
girls had been abducted,
not 230. Boko Haram re-
sponded by releasing a
video in which the leader
of the group veried that
over 200 girls were in his
custody, as he gloated that
he would soon auction the
girls to willing men at a nearby
market. Jonathans government
bishment of his personal estate,
work that cost the government
millions of dollars, Zuma said he
was unaware the work was going
on at all yet he lived in the same
estate.
Egypt unravelled practically
overnight. Within just months,
the president had been toppled
and the country has never been
the same since. Nigeria is even
worse; a radical Islamist militia
has turned the country into a liv-
ing hell, and constitutional rule
is in such peril that the wife of
the president apparently orders
the arrests of citizens and the
police obey her instructions.
Africa, it seems, is now one
giant banana republic. So much
promise, so much disappoint-
ment. And yet the African still
perseveres.
CRAZY MONDAY / Page 7
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
By MURIMI MWANGI
I
t is a fairly common barroom
practice for drunk patrons
to order beer for everyone
around, including strangers.
It is also standard practice
to be shocked by the bill once it
is presented. For bar maids, be-
ing accused of inating the bill is
an occupation hazard they can
never run away from.
And that is what happened at
a popular joint in Nyeri, recently.
Two drinking friends were forced
out of a pub following a bitter ex-
change of insults and blows over
an inated bill was presented to
them. The two arrived at the bar,
perched themselves atop of the
esteemed sina taabu seats next
to the counter and ordered mul-
tiple rounds of beer.
HIGHLY ANIMATED
Their conversation was high-
ly animated and grew more hi-
larious with every round of beer
they ordered. And the more al-
cohol they imbibed, the more
philanthropic they seemingly
became. They ordered drinks for
other revellers and other strang-
ers in the bar. This is what would
Inated bill sends
drinking buddies
into sticuffs
later result in a brawl after they
disagreed on the bloated bill.
As they were still laughing their
lungs out in frenzied discussion,
the barmaid arrived with the bill
stuffed in a plastic tumbler, and
placed it next to their drinks.
One of them checked the bill
and was shocked at what he saw.
He began shaking his head and
ordered the barmaid back to the
counter, demanding to know why
she was trying to con us.
Madam ureciria tutiath-
omete mathabu? Tiga gututu-
nya tukionaga (Do you think we
never studied math, Madam? We
have chewed books, think twice
before you try to con any of us,
proclaimed one of the men, his
blood-shot eyes wide open.
The barmaid calmly took
the two through the bill, item
by item, reminding them of the
drinks they had bought other pa-
trons, and this was when hell all
broke loose.
The two started pointing ac-
cusing ngers at each other over
who should pay, with each other
claiming to have enough money.
The barmaid asked the two
men to clear the bill and stop
wasting her time.Gutiri mundu
ndiragurira njohi, no ngorirwo
ndi nyina (I am not paying for
anybody elses alcohol. Not un-
less am somebodys mother),
one of the drunks swore.
Ultimately, the two resolved
to only pay for what they had
drunk, and asked the barmaid to
collect money from the others,
claiming everyone must pay for
what they took.
BEEFY BOUNCER
At that declaration, some
of the benefaciaries of the free
beer, who had been following
the disagreement keenly, started
slithering out of the bar. And by
the time management arrived
with a beefy bouncer in tow,
most of the culprits had already
escaped.
This meant that the two bud-
dies had to settle the bill. Unfor-
tunately, they couldnt agree on
the criteria to clear the bill.
You are taking this joke too
far. I am not contesting any po-
litical seat and will not pay for
alcohol you ordered for your fel-
low dirty villagers, yelled one of
the men.
The statement angered his
friend who immediately went
hammer-and-tongs at him,
wrestling him to the oor. They
exchanged a couple of blows be-
fore they were separated by the
bouncers who warned them of
dire consequences if they failed
to fail to clear the bill.
Grudgingly, they cleared the
bill and walked out murmur-
ing to each other. They have not
been spotted drinking together
again.
offthewall
By PKEMOI NGENOH
A
middle-aged woman in
Nairobis Bahati estate
is nursing injuries after
her teenage daughter
struck her on the fore-
head with a soda bottle, seri-
ously injuring her for embar-
rassing her.
This was after the teenage
daughter got fed-up enduring
embarrassment and discomfort
of sleeping on a rickety couch,
as her mother entertained her
boyfriend in their single-room
house.
The 19-year-old girl laid bare
the scandalous details of this un-
fortunate incident to a band of
curious onlookers who could not
help but laugh their heads off.
Apparently the girl felt bad that
her mother and her boyfriend
had disrespected her for long by
engaging in the act of the rod in
her presence.
DRAMA
A neigbour who witnessed
part of the drama told this writer
the young girl lives together with
her mother in a single-room
house. Her mother had allegedly
been inviting her boyfriend for
sleepovers in the house, a situ-
ation that had been forcing the
girl to sleep on the couch, or at
friends houses.
The witness said the girl is a
student at a college in the city
centre, but her mother operates
a shop in the estate where she
met the youthful man who used
to supply bread around estate
shops.
The man used to supply
bread around. I used to see him
hanging around the womans
shop for hours. The man must
have been seducing the woman,
or so it seems, revealed the wit-
ness.
He added, On the fateful
evening, while the girl and her
mother were preparing supper
around 8pm, the man arrived on
his usual visits.
Fed up with the mans vis-
its, she became rude when her
mother told her to give them
room to discuss some business.
Shockingly, the girl made
as if to leave, and reached for a
soda bottle, which she used to
Girl assaults mother for entertaining boyfriend in her presence
strike her mother hard on the
forehead, sending her sprawling
on the ground bleeding as she
writhed in pain and wailed for
help.
Within minutes their house
was swarming with curious
neighbours, who thought the
family had been attacked by rob-
bers, only for the teenage girl to
bare it all.
My mother has been misbe-
having with his boyfriend in my
presence for long and today I
could not take it any more. I usu-
ally spend nights on the couch
whenever he visits or alternative-
ly I beg my friends to allow me to
sleep at their houses as if I dont
have a home, she announced.
As the neighbours gave the
injured woman rst aid, others
were searching for the man be-
neath the bed, thinking he had
hidden there, only to realise he
had melted into darkness.
What kind of man is he to
inconvenience such a young
girl just because he wants to be
served the forbidden fruit by her
mother, and in her house? He
should be ashamed of himself,
one of the angry neigbours was
overheard complaining.
Some naughty neigbours
made fun of the woman, urging
the young girl to also invite over
her boyfriend and disrespect her
mother.
But he was shouted down by
yet another neigbour who yelled
at him, You should be a shamed
of yourself. It is her mother who
pays rent.
The woman was rushed to
a nearby dispensary where her
wounds were stitched before be-
ing discharged.
Page 8 / CRAZY MONDAY Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
thisstrangeworld
There is a group of unrened men
who just cant take a no from women
they make advances to. Rejection
from women bruise their fragile egos
so much that they react in rather
extreme ways, including killing such
women, writes LINDA KEYA
Men who dont take rejection from women lying down
B
y virtue of ours being
a patriarchal society,
male dominance has
been known to know
no bounds. It is a cavemen mind-
set that some men still hang onto
dearly, in the 21st century.
Such men have this outdat-
ed mindset that does not allow
them to imagine women, par-
don the pun, on top of men in
anything. To such men, women
are (and should be) inferior and
powerless. An attempt to, for in-
stance, reject a mans advances
is deemed as rebellion or an at-
tempt to challenge mens power
and dominance.
For a woman to try and make
a choice contrary to such mens
expectations by, for instance,
turning down their advances,
she is seen as trying to challenge
the mans power, thus has to be
subjected to dire consequences.
SNIDE REMARKS
Kwenda uko, Malaya wewe
(to hell with you, prostitute).
You are not as cute as you think!
In fact, I was just saying hi, its
not like its a marriage proposal!
Such are some of the snide re-
marks some women have been
subjected to after rejecting the
said unrened and unhinged
men.
Mark you, these are men who
have not necessarily dated the
women they vent their anger
on. These are women they have
merely tried to seduce or date
unsuccessfully. Many women
are victims of this backward
mentality.
Tales have been reported of
men who kill women because of
rejection. For instance, a 93-year-
old French man killed a (mar-
ried) 82-year-old woman after
she rejected him. The man had
apparently developed a crush on
her, and when he requested her
to visit him as her husband was
away for some days, she refused.
BRUISED EGO
The mans ego was bruised,
and went to the womans house,
beat her up and killed her. When
questioned by the authorities, he
said he was teaching her lesson
for she had made him feel like
a fool (you know how honest
most of these people are).
A tale is told of a woman in
Vietnam who was recently way-
laid and acid poured in her face
by an admirer who had unsuc-
cessfully tried tuning her. The
man was on a motorbike as he
poured the acid. Locals pursued
and caught up with him, and
upon being presented in court,
he confessed that indeed the
woman had turned him down,
telling him she was already en-
gaged to another man.
And as recently as three
weeks ago, the Indian media re-
ported of an unfortunate case
in which a stalker was arrested
after he burned a woman who
rejected him with acid in his
desperate attempts to force her
to drink it. This was before he
pushed her into the sea.
FINALLY FIRED
Closer home, Nancy Okinda told
this writer about her friend who
was rst demoted, then red
under unclear circumstances,
only to nd out much later
that rejecting her bosss sexual
advances had necessitated her
sack. Apparently, her boss had
been hitting on her. Never mind
her boss was a married man.
But when she turned him down,
he reacted with fury and even
threatened to re her. But that
was not to happen soon. Days
passed, months passed but her
work relationship with her boss
dangerously deteriorated to a
point where they were not com-
municating verbally; he used to
communicate to her via email,
even though their ofces were
housed in the same building,
narrates Ms Okinda.
This state of affairs went on
for a while, and before long, Ok-
inda was red. As women we
yearn for attention from men
but at times, this attention can
land you in trouble, especially
when you have a rogue boss.
Some have very poor wooing
skills, and you could be single
and willing but then again the
approach is at times wrong, with
some wanting you by force, and
in the process putting you off,
adds Ms Okinda.
Not long ago, our sister news-
paper The Nairobian, published
a tale about a born-again county
assembly speaker in a county in
Eastern Kenya who was unseated
by her male colleagues after she
refused to be nice. Apparently,
most of her male colleagues had
tried to unsuccessfully hit on her,
and decided to conspire and vent
their anger by passing a motion
of no condence in her.
LECTURERS WRATH
A couple of years ago, Kate
Kawira, a marketer, faced the
wrath of her university lecturer
after she turned him down. The
lecturer, who, she says, had (and
still has) a greedy fascination for
the forbidden fruit, tried to se-
duce her. But seeing as the man
was not only her teacher, but had
also gained notoriety for engag-
ing in gland-to-gland combats
with his students, she told him
off.
The guy had a bad CV, and
had been rumoured to have slept
with most of his female students
for marks, so I rejected him. But
little did I know that was to haunt
m e
later. I failed his course,
and he forced me to re-
take it, reveals Kawira.
She proceeds to tell
this writer how such
cases are rampant at
universities. I am
not alone. There
are so many wom-
en who have
gone through
cases. Do a
spot check
in these lo-
cal univer-
sities; there
is always
a rogue
l e c t u r e r
who wants
s t udent s
by force.
Failure to
w h i c h ,
they fail
them
CRAZY MONDAY / Page 9
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
thisstrangeworld
Men who dont take rejection from women lying down
exams.
FACEBOOK ADMIRER
In this day and age of social
media, men are wont to make
advances to women through
the social networks. Many have
always had an easy time with
some women on Facebook,
Twitter and other social sites and
imagine such is (or should be)
the case with all women. When
someone rejects their advances,
they resort to cyber bullying, and
insulting such women by writ-
ing rubbish on their walls. Social
media has slowly become the
best option for men who cannot
take rejection lying down, to hit
at their target. They turn dirty
online in their rush to have the
last laugh by embarrassing or re-
venging, because to them rejec-
tion is tantamount to an assault.
SHOUT INSULTS
Some go as far as besmirch-
ing your name and spreading
false rumours about you. Others
want you to respond to their
greetings by force. When a
man says Hi, where is it writ-
ten that a woman must reply?
And when you dont reply to
their Hi, even in the streets,
they shout insults at you, says
Natasha*, who has also fallen
victim to unrened men on
social media whom she refers to
as cavemen.
Not long ago, Lynette Kabura
had an ugly encounter on Face-
book. It all started when a
man who apparently had a crush
on her sent her naughty mes-
sage laced with sexual under-
tones. Just because he had read
a naughty comment I had made
on a friends status, he imagined
Im one of those loose Facebook
women. He began sending me
dirty stuff, telling me how ex-
ible I look and about the acro-
batics he would subject me to if
he were to meet me, she says.
Ms Kabura suspects he may
have fallen in love with her Face-
book prole pictures. She avoid-
ed the man and blocking him
from her wall, but in a strange
turn of events, he opened an-
other account through which
he began tormenting her. Some
15 fteen unanswered messages
later, the pervert understood
the writing on the wall he was
not wanted.
He stopped sending her mes-
sages and kept off commenting
on her status for a while. Then
one day, out of the blues, the
man wrote a long tirade on Ms
Kaburas wall in which he abused
and scandalised her.
He called me a few unprint-
able things and wrote me off say-
ing I would never get a husband,
unless I go looking for a retired
old man, says Lynette.
PATRIARCHAL ENVIRONMENT
Anthony Muhoto, a psycholo-
gist, argues that most men react
this way because they have been
brought up in extremely patri-
archal environments. Most of
such men have been brought up
in social set-ups where wom-
en always play second
ddle. So, having
an opinion that
goes against his, rejection in this
case, is viewed as an attempt to
challenge his power, thus they
hit back hard, says Mr Muhoto.
He proceeds to explain that re-
jection to such men is the worst
form of humiliation as it not only
hurts their feelings, but also sort
of dents their manly image.
In their desperate bid to sort
of reclaim their dominance and
mend their tainted or dented
macho image, they resort to ex-
pressing their displeasure and
rage in rather anti-social ways,
he adds.
The expert further advises
women to be very
careful whenever they get the
slightest hint of such men. When
rejecting such men, women are
advised to be very diplomatic.
You can always notice such
men by keenly observing them.
They are poorly socialised. They,
for instance, talk with a lot of
nality and bang tables for em-
phasis when talking.
Such men must be put off nicely
and avoided at all costs, or else
they might express their rage in
rather violent and neanderthal
ways.
Page 10 / CRAZY MONDAY Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
Boyfriend has very active
sexual past
Hello, I have been in a relationship with
my boyfriend for three months now. I am
28 and he is turning 30 next month. We
went to the same campus and he used
to be a play boy, and slept around with
many girls whom I knew. But recently I
got a job at a place he also works. And we
started dating, but recently I found out
he has slept with a huge number of our
colleagues. Plus he has three children
with three different women. He claims
he has changed, but now I think of him
in a really bad way. I also feel like other
women in the ofce are laughing at me
and I feel disgusted with my boyfriend.
Its now ruining our relationship. He has
said its the past and it should not matter
now, which is true but I cant easily get
over his past now. Please advise? Kate,
Nairobi
This is a train wreck waiting to
happen, you need to jump out now!
Wife is not interested in sex
I am 23 and have been married for two
years now with the girl I love since Form
One. I have a problem with her when it
comes to bed time. I have to force her
when I want to make love to her, and
sometimes I can go even for a month
without touching her. Please help.
Robert, Eldoret.
Talk to her and nd out what is
wrong, in many cases men do not
bother to nd out what a woman
prefers in the bedroom. Or even how
to please and satisfy a woman. They
only think about themselves rst.
Also you need is to court you wife
again because when a woman does
not feel loved she will withdraw. Meet
her needs and she will meet yours.
Not ready for a baby
My girlfriend of two years wants a baby.
We are both 27 and although I love her I
do not think I am ready to be a father. All
her friends are having babies and so she
also wants to be a mother. I am currently
unstable nancially as I have gone back
to school to do my masters plus I am still
paying my car loan. I have tried to talk to
her but she is still determined. I love her
and I do not want to hurt her. How do I
let her know that I am not ready? Please
advise? Matt, Nairobi
You need to have a serious talk with
your girlfriend and explain to her
that you do not want a baby now and
why, and if possible do it as bluntly
as possible, no Mr nice guy here. A
baby does not belong to one party, it
takes two.
Send doctor love your problems
at fabulousfeminista@gmail.com
Cupids arrow
feminist/WITH ANNE MUIRURI
High time men who abandon their families styled up
chauvinist/WITH NIKKO TANUI
Gold digger is a mans myth, theres
more to womens love for rich men
I
am not a gold digger; I just
want the best for me and
my future family. I do not
understand what puzzles
men or angers them so much that
when a woman chooses a man
who has money over one who is
still nding himself nancially.
It is a logical choice for any
woman to make. Recently I was
privy to a conversation held by
some of my male colleagues. They
were discussing a female colleague
who, according to them, was a
triing gold digger.
Her unforgivable crime was
letting them know they did not
have a chance in hell with her
because she was looking for a man
more nancially stable than they
are.
FINANCIAL POSITION
Well, it would be all ne and
dandy to pick any man no matter
his nancial position if we all lived
in a romantic and perfect happily-
ever-after world. Unfortunately,
that can only be found in fairy
tales, as in the real world bills must
be paid.
However, according to my
colleagues, a woman should see
beyond a mans pay cheque. She
should see his potential, and also
love him for what is on the inside
and not for what he owns.
Chalk that for those who think it
is okay to marry a woman because
she has a big butt.
I
deally, a child is supposed
to be raised by two parents
a father and a mother.
However, some men like
misbehaving and acting silly. They
sleep around with women, but bolt
the moment they hear the phrase,
Honey, we are pregnant.
Such men sometimes
disappear from the family picture
for life. However, over the years
some of such characters have been
shamelessly crawling out of the
woodwork to claim their children,
especially when the child turns out
to be sucessful.
INHERITING PROPERTY
Back in 1994, news broke
that the rst African and Kenya
Olympic gold medalist, boxer
Robert Wangila, had lost his life
after collapsing during a ght with
David Gonzalez at the Alladin Hotel
in the United states of America.
Wangilas death sparked a
big feud after two men emerged,
claiming to be his father and
demanding rights to bury him. One
I nd it ridiculous how men
apply double standards in
everything especially in matters
relationships. Men believe judging
women on the basis of how big
their butts and bust are is okay,
but when women script their own
manualjudging men on the basis
of their nancial stability, men start
foaming at the mouth-sides.
of the fathers was Karani Angila,
the other was Karani Kanyimbo.
Wangilas mother, Eunice Moraa
Mabeche, later said Kanyimbo was
his father.
After all was said and done, one
thing stood out; both men were
only interested in inheriting part
of the late boxers property. Never
mind none of them had ever played
the role of a father in nurturing the
late Kenyan hero.
More recently, some man
shamelessly came forward to
claim that he was the father of six-
year-old Emily Wanjiru who stole
President Uhuru Kenyattas heart
with her great poem at the Sagana
State Lodge.
Why do some men let us down
so crushingly? This is stooping
too low. Men are known to work
hard, so why would a man prey on
anothers hard work and success? It
beats me.
As soon as the man heard
that Emily had received a full
scholarship, and moved from her
desolate home in Gachororo Village
to a more decent house courtesy of
the president, he showed up like a
bad actor in a badly scripted stage
play, claiming he wanted his family
back.
Do I have to mention this other
one who came claiming to be
husband to the late Autie Zaituni
Obama? Just because she had
become a celebrity of sorts in her
death? He should be a shamed of
himself. I could list hundreds other
incidents of such men but the space
wouldnt allow.
Thing is, if you are a man who
abandoned your wife and children,
and you hear your child or wife has
made it, please spare us your ugly
face and drama.
If you were not there when your
wife and children were suffering and
they somehow make it, leave them
in peace and stay in your hole.
of mother to a grown man.
And judging from stories on
the ground and from personal
experience in my formative years,
when you help grow a man, I
assure you he will leave you for
a much younger woman. The
women of today are not the long-
suffering types of yester years who
took whatever crap they could get
from a man and forgave him for
everything.
MORE EXPOSED
The image of the persevering
woman of yore is no longer
appealing to the modern-day
woman. The woman of today is
more educated, exposed, wants
more from life and expects more
from men.
Further, men who do not
have money may not know this,
but it is not just money that
attracts a woman to a man but
the condence with which a man
who has accomplished quite a lot
carries himself. If you missed the
memo, money makes a man sexier,
and more handsome.
All women want is a sexier,
condent man who can give them
and their future children the best
in life. No woman is willing to
do guesswork and experiment
with nancially unstable men.
So, gentlemen, if you want a good
woman, work hard and make more
money. No two ways about it!
Men want women to take
chances by settling with nancially
unstable men, hoping they will
be stable at some point. Where is
the time for that? Well, have I got
news for you because although Mr
potential may be cute, and maybe
one day he may be the next Mr
Obama, there is nothing interesting
or attractive about playing the role
CRAZY MONDAY / Page 11 Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
bulletin/WITH FERDINAND MWONGELA
A
while ago I happened
to eat at this beach
hotel. The only prob-
lem was the darn es-
tablishment was nowhere near a
beach. Ok, may be it was, there was
a mini-lake of murky dark-grey
water heavily laced with raw sew-
erage.
The food was awesome, I have
to say; they even had coconut
something on the menu. At the
hotel, you enjoy your delicacy while
gazing across an expansive pool of
stagnant water. This, perhaps, is
what inspired that beach bit.
I know inspiration can be
a tough thing; I struggle with
it every now and then when I
have to le some piece with the
editor breathing re across the
newsroom. But I always wondered
where Kenyans get inspiration
when naming their businesses.
There was an era when all you
needed was to add the sufx, &
sons to your name and that was it!
You got a name for your business.
This was probably inspired by
Asians, if am not wrong, for they
Why cant Kenyans be original in naming businesses?
fancied such.
Then there was a time when
virtually all estate kiosks were
called blah blah blah general
shop despite the fact that all that
was sold here was economy-pack
foodstuff.
And by economy-pack I do
not mean those massive packages
supermarkets call economy packs
nowadays. Not at all. Im talking
about those Sh2 tealeaves and
quarter kilo sugar packaged neatly.
There as even smaller portions
of sugar packed in cone shaped
papers, in Isiolo we called them
naita. No idea why, but the nature
of Isiolo means the name might
have come from any of the myriad
communities that call the town
home.
UHURUTO STORE
I hear a number of these
general shops are still around.
Going home the other day, I saw a
Uhuruto store somewhere along
the road with no indication, of
course, if the duo own any shares
or have merely been philanthropic
enough to donate the name.
You can imagine the agony
a budding business owner goes
through trying to crack that all
important code to come up with a
catchy business name.
This must be even more so
today when businesses are all over
the place. Back in the day there was
little need to name your business,
especially upcountry, where you
instance, Gathanga Success, I cant
remember where it disappeared
to.
The bus would successfully be
driven to my rural home, where
it returned loaded with bananas
and enough people to ll a small
stadium.
I still dont understand why
Kenyans cant be original with
names? Or must we copy?
T
his term has found
Okonkwo, the senior
principal of Meta Meta
in a most foul mood. The
mood has nothing to do with fam-
ily issues.
He has been livid because many
teachers failed to attend the open-
ing staff meeting. While some sent
text messages claiming their rela-
tives had been injured by the ter-
rorists attacks on the buses along
Thika superhighway, others did not
even bother to send an apology.
Despite my protestations,
Bensouda put me on duty with
madam Margarita during the rst
week of the term. Since we are a
mixed day and boarding school,
the boarders report a day earlier.
We were in school on Tuesday to
receive them.
There is a group that always
arrives in style. These are mainly
Form Twos and Threes. They always
meet in town and hire the most
pimped-up Nganya (Matatu) on
the road.
The Nganya that meets their
elaborate taste is adorned in the
latest grafti and plays music so
loud it can put many discotheques
in Kisumu city out of business.
No trafc cop can tell the vehicles
original colour without consulting
its log book.
The group led by Timo of Form
3G, zoomed into the compound in a
Nganya christened Thunder Clap.
A sticker near the door proclaimed
If you nd the music too loud,
umechapa ( you are too old).
Vuvuzelas and whistles blared
out of Thunder Clap windows as if
the boys and girls were competing
for a slot in the Guinness Book of
Records for the noisiest teenager.
The ensuing din could have easily
brought down any reinforced wall
of Jericho.
PUFFED UP
The driver appeared to have
little appetite for what you and
I consider food and was busy
chewing some leaves. His cheeks
were puffed up like an inated
balloon.
He kept on blowing the horn
that must have been borrowed
from a pirated ship at the Kisimayu
harbour. The chaos made Okonkwo
and Bensouda dash out of their
ofces.
I was standing close to Madam
Margarita, who is also the Christian
Union patron, and I heard her
mutter something about the devil
himself visiting Meta Meta.
The disco on wheels made
out of range of Okonkwos sight.
Get this juke box out of here before
I call the police, fumed Okonkwo,
trembling with rage.
The driver just looked at him
and growled, Kuwa mpole buda,
sisi hatuna noma (relax, were
peaceful).
He then stepped on the
accelerator and Thunder Clap
ew out of the school compound.
The noise made by its remodeled
exhaust pipe could be heard ten
kilometres away.
With the Matatu out of sight, we
fell back to inspecting the students
bags. Our keen eyes unearthed
some items that have no business
in a self-respecting school of Meta
Metas stature.
That is a story for another day,
though.
Send Mwalimu feedback on
Socratesmwalimu@gmail.com
a lap of honour in the school
compound as other boarders
who had arrived earlier cheered
on in undisguised envy. Parents
who had accompanied their sons
and daughters to Meta Meta were
clearly appalled.
An agitated Okonkwo ran
towards the Matatu. The bleary-
eyed driver brought Thunder Clap
to a stop barely an inch from the
senior principals feet.
GREEN STUFF
Ni aje buda (hello old man), he
shouted above the racket of music,
whistles and Vuvuzelas while taking
a sip through a tiny hole on the
cap of the bottle of Sprite he was
holding. Before Okonkwo could say
something, he spat a ball of some
green stuff that landed next to his
Safari boot.
Within an instant, the matatu
was empty as the rascals scampered
Students arrive
in style as
schools open
ateachersdiary/WITH MWALIMU SOCRATES
were probably the only shop in the
locality.
People just knew the owner
of the shop and called his shop as
such. In the competition to survive
today, the name means a lot.
Talking of which, why were
almost all matatu owners adding
the word success at the end of the
name of all their buses?
Where I grew up we had, for
Page 12 / CRAZY MONDAY Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
wemen/WITH TONY MASIKONDE
W
ho is a real man?
That is the ques-
tion we found our-
selves mulling over
after Frao was accused of neither
being a real or total man by one of
his ex-girlfriends. There are many
things you can possibly accuse
Frao of, but if buying beer for the
boys and conquering women left,
right and centre is anything to go
by, he is the ultimate man.
TOO EMOTIONAL
However, the mythology sur-
rounding this question still looms
large. So much so that men of-
ten experience a hidden battle;
whether their decisions should
be self-determined or dictated by
how masculine they will seem to
others. Do I let my missus know
how much something is bother-
ing me or will that come across as
not being in control? Do I speak
my mind at work or does that risk
being seen as too emotional? If I
take a stand on a principle that
bucks the boys club, will I lose
status?
After a drink-induced dis-
cussion, we philosophised and
busted some of the biggest myths
that have been peddled for years
about we men.
PENT-UP EMOTIONS
This may come as a surprise,
but men are probably more emo-
tional than women. How is this
possible? Unlike femininity, mas-
What does being a real man entail?
culinity does not permit emoting
on a regular basis, so men are like
Victorian novels: placid on the
outside, but concealing a deep
emotional life within. Convinc-
ing a man that it is masculine to
open up in fact, it takes more co-
jones to do so is a cause women
should embrace.
By encouraging men to reveal
their true feelings, women are
helping them release pent-up
emotions, leading to a happier
and healthier guy.
LIKE SEX
Yes, sex is important to men.
Its one of the ways we access our
imaginations. (At times it might
seem like the only way we do.)
But one of the big secrets about
men is how much they long
for real solidarity with
their partner.
And sex,
because
it makes
t h e
i magi -
nat i on
l i t -
eral, is
some-
t hi ng
w e
r e l y
on to
a c h i e v e
that bond-
ed feeling.
Next time you
Campusrover/WITH BILL ODUNGA
P
lease allow me to
speak freely. I had nev-
er heard of the uni-
versity. It must have
bagged a charter recently.
But I knew it from the story
of one Cyprian Nyakundi whose
run-ins with the administration
of that institution has set social
media tabloids ablaze. They cut
him off his course because of (you
wont believe this) his relation-
ship with the media and writing
about anything happening in the
school without the Vice Chancel-
lors approval.
TARNISHING HIS CAMPUS
That he was expelled from
school for apparently tarnishing
the name of his campus is sad,
and rather unfair. But that expla-
nation up there as written in his
expulsion letter, is (and you will
agree with me) hilarious.
So now he was asked to con-
sult the Vice Chancellor rst be-
fore updating his Facebook and
Twitter accounts because he was
fond of complaining about how
the system works; impassable
roads, a moribund library, a small
Why expel comrade for criticising campus on social media?
on pins and needles, desperately
hoping that nobody bursts into
his ofce guns blazing. But when
you come to think of it, where I
come from, the school does not go
through students online activities
with a ne comb. So this would
never happen, unless you are a
avoiding any overt displays of love
and affection, which can be det-
rimental to a relationship. How
often have you witnessed a man
shut down during a tender mo-
ment or make a joke to detour
from it? The toll this eventually
takes is enormous, depriving men
of the riches of intimacy, one of
which is completely giving over to
a true and loving partnership.
While men may appear to
prize freedom and independence,
in their heart of hearts they truly
value loyalty. In standing by her
man, a woman can ll a primal
absence. And once he realises you
have his back, he will start to show
his feelings in his own way which
may not be traditional romantic
gestures, but they will be gestures
nonetheless. So when I dont
kiss you when you expected to
be kissed that does not mean my
feelings have changed, charged
Frao.
USE LOOKS
Nope. A womans beauty is a
thing to behold, and sometimes
we can behold it at the wrong
times (like when passing another
woman in the streets and try to
steal a glance with the madam
around). But thats just visual tit-
illation. The stimulus that mat-
ters most reaches our hearts and
minds. A woman with a laser-like
intelligence, sharp sense of hu-
mour and a compassionate soul is
like an arrow to a mans heart.
cafeteria, among other inadequa-
cies of a newly charted university.
He did not listen, so they slapped
him with an expulsion.
This is how you know univer-
sities are poles apart. If this were
to happen in my university, the
Vice Chancellor would be sitting
I know that freedom of speech is
still a Constitutional right today.
And that is a right, not a favour
regardless of the limitations that
come with it. If the president was
to jail all the people who speak ill
of his administration, the streets
of twitter will be deathly quiet.
This is not Ethiopia, for petes
sake!
GAGGED SPEAKING HIS MIND
Look, anyone who gags a per-
son who speaks his mind is a ty-
rant. A tyrant only wants songs
of praise, ululations and sonnets
of his eternal reign. A tyrant lives
on a whim, so much so that if you
remind him to zip up his trouser,
your head will be up on a pike be-
fore the sun tags in the moon that
evening.
Nyakundi fell on the wrong
side of a tyrannical system. He
told it to at least get some more
chairs into the lecture halls. That
was his sin, and so the tyrannical
system sentenced him to the guil-
lotine.
Question is, does the sentence
bet the crime? Wait, what crime
did he commit?
visitor in Jerusalem, with no idea
on how to handle University of
Nairobi students when they cheer
to the rallying call of Comrades
Power. Nyakundis predicament
got me thinking, though. I do not
know much about the nuts and
bolts of running a university, but
see your mates desire for sex as
chauvinistic; remember that he
may be asking for proof that you
and he are the team he fantasises
about. Simply because a couple of
women have made wrong choices
and ended up with sex
maniacs is not rea-
son enough to
condemn the
whole lot of
us.
LOOK
TOUGH
Masculin-
ity is one of
the most op-
pressive forces
as far as behaviour
goes. Reason? It de-
mands that men ap-
pear tough at
all times,
thereby
CRAZY MONDAY / Page 13
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
CRAZY MONDAY / Page 13
Page 14 / CRAZY MONDAY Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
ugandanaffairs/GRACE NAKATO
Our jalopies, weird
laws and epic fear of
being rained on
T
he Kampala Capital City
Authority and the pow-
ers-that-be never cease
to amaze me. They want
to remove all the boda
boda stages within the CBD be-
cause boda bodas cause conges-
tion.
Seriously, have you compared
the size of a boda boda and the size
of a car? How much space do they
take when parked? I agree they can
be a menace to other road users,
but they are a necessity. A total ban
is not going to help decongest the
city. The problem is with private
cars, their owners and the rainy
season.
Look, most of us, in Kampala
especially, suffer from Pluvio-
phobia the fear of rain or being
rained on. There are a number
of underlying factors that lead to
this. First, some of us are made
from papier-mch, or so it seems,
which means we shall dissolve
or get disgured when water falls
upon our person in public.
This is common especially with
women and some of our metro-
sexual men. The hair will be the
rst to resemble a heap of wet sisal.
This sisal could then cause colour-
ful rivulets to start trickling down
the owners face. The trickle effect
of free owing water will start erod-
ing the thick layer of makeup that
you see as awless youthful skin.
The city will soon resemble
zombie town, and many shall be
denied entry into their homes
or ofces, for being confused for
strangers.
PUBLIC NUDITY
What about umbrellas? Well
our Chinese or green clothing
(Kenyans call them mitumba?)
does not do well when exposed to
water. The colour will be the rst to
run streaming down the wearers
legs and the streets shall be rain-
bow coloured in no time. This may
cause the city authorities to rethink
the cleanup budget.
Some of the clothes are so aller-
gic to water for water makes them
shrink and look smaller. Woe unto
the wearer if the attire was already
a size or two smaller they shall be
arrested for public nudity.
And during the rainy season our
jams are legendary because most
people bring out their ramshackle
jalopies and use them like a big
umbrella to commute to, and from
work. When the downpour is heavy
however, the roads are devoid of
movement and when there is only
a light drizzle the trafc is bumper
to bumper.
If the trafc police were de-
ployed to check the street-worthi-
ness of our vehicles like the alcob-
low checks many vehicles would
be sent to the scrap yard.
Here, when a car reaches a cer-
tain age, servicing is never a must;
we do it when we feel like. Its very
common to see in Kampala cars be-
ing jump-started, and that tells you
a lot about the unroadworthy na-
ture of most of our cars. Budgetary
constraints mean that we usually
x a few bits with third-hand parts
and slap a brand new coat of colour
to keep the exterior looking new.
I once, unsuspecting, hopped
into such a contraption during a
heavy downpour to get to an ap-
pointment quickly. The cab guy
had used throw cushions to cover
the springs on the worn-out seats. I
could see parts of the road through
the oor and he said he could not
drive in the rain because the wipers
do not work.
In Uganda, unlike in Kenya
where you have age limit for im-
ported cars, you can drive a car
older than you are, and nobody will
bother you.
Picturespeak Crazy pictures from social media
-Source: Internet
CRAZY MONDAY / Page 15
Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
fortheloveofthegame/WITH ANIL BAKARI
Wacky
headline
costs sports
journalist job
Are you a sports journalist, an-
chor or commentator? You better
watch what you say or write about
players, lest you lose your job as
happened to a sports commentator
with a US newspaper.
The journalist working for The
Oklahoman was red last week for
calling a top basketball player un-
reliable. BigMike69, as the editor is
known, went with the headline Mr.
Unreliable on the front page of the
newspaper, a thing that did not go
down well with the papers top of-
cials.
The May 2 title was in reference
to basketball star Kevin Durant who
plays for Thunder. When I hired
BigMike69 to help our paper pro-
vide coverage that would get peo-
ple talking, I feel he went too far in
this case and I will turn the sports
section over to a more traditional
editor, said The Oklahoman top
editor Kelly Dyer Fry as reported in
SportsPickle, an online site.
The newspaper hired BigMike69
in August last year after his wacky
commentaries on blogs caught their
eyes. They believed he was the right
person to boost circulation, which
was dwindling. And BigMike69 in-
deed boosted the newspapers sales
in the short period he worked for it
with his captivating headlines.
On that day, however, BigMike69
had two headlines; MR. UNRELI-
ABLE, and KEVIN DUR-CANT
SHOULD DIE IN A FIRE. He had
insisted on the second one. He was
red!
M
anchester United
was not relegated
after the scare that
was David Moyes.
Fans can sigh with
relief, as the 2013/14 English Pre-
mier League (EPL) campaign drew
to a close this past weekend.
By the time we went to press,
Liverpool had squandered their
one-in-twenty-four years chance
of winning the league by settling
for a barren draw with Crystal
Palace FC. This made it possible
for Manchester City FC to be
crowned champions. Even as the
crowned champions celebrate,
it is Manchester Uniteds sacked
coach, David Moyes, who has had
the last laugh.
Moyes did a lot for the former
EPL giants, yet like a dog, which
has annoyed her master; he was
sacked and thrown out of his ken-
nel. For the Love of the Game does
not understand why Man U own-
ers rushed to sack Moyes given
little changed for the few remain-
ing games that veteran player-
turned-coach Ryan Giggs was at
the helm.
No sooner had he left than
they succumbed to another home
defeat to Sunderland FC. Losing
seems to be the teams modus
operandi, especially when they
meet teams they had previously
been referring to as small teams
at Old Trafford.
It is obvious that Moyes was
by Newcastle at Old Trafford for
over four decades. But guess who
broke this feat? The one and only
football genius called Moyes.
Again, thanks to Moyes, Man
U clung to position seven for the
better part of this season, regard-
less of a win or a loss. For a team
that was used to staying at the
summit for an entire season, this
was an unbelievable record that
will go into the annals of the Pre-
mier League history.
Another record the great Moy-
es set, and he deserves a standing
ovation and a state commenda-
tion for it, is that for the rst time
since 1995, Man U will not play
not the problem, after Giggs con-
tinued with Moyess trend of a
win, then a loss.
Who knows, It could be the
players, the pitches or the club
owners themselves, who have re-
fused to loosen their purse strings
to buy talented players. No one
cared to investigate the real prob-
lem facing Man U before sacking
Moyes. He was the obvious villain,
but as things stand, he was a sac-
ricial lamb.
Looking at it, Manchester
United should in fact thank Moyes
for helping them break records.
In its annals, Man U boasted
that they had never been defeated
Something not adding up in the Athletics Kenya report
Moyes set and broke records
at Manchester, hes a genius
A
thletics Kenya (AK) should
not take us back to the dark
days on matters transparency
in our sports. Why should of-
cials fail to account for tax-
payers money and cash from sponsors?
Their recently released report for the
last nancial year that was endorsed by
delegates is printed on a white paper,
partly to show its purity.
However, some delegates believe the
document is nothing but a sham. First,
they point out that the report did not in-
clude expenses the team incurred in Mos-
cow during the World Championships.
The trip was funded by the govern-
ment to the tune of Sh 27 million. That is
not small change to play with and fail to
account for.
It can be used to settle debts and free
this country from the ghosts of Anglo-
Leasing and free the country from its other
ghosts.
Other anomalies in the report include
double entries of AK Weekend Meeting ex-
penses and World Cross Country.
Now, how did this happen if the -
nancial statement was prepared by pro-
fessionals and certied as true records of
accounts.
Even a basic accounting student can
detect such errors, so why should AK err.
The least Kenyans demand from AK
President Isaiah Kiplagat and his deputy
David Okeyo is transparency. Something
is not adding up.
in the elite Champions League.
Finishing EPL at number seven
leaves them out in the cold.
Thus, as Manchester City, Liv-
erpool, Chelsea and Arsenal will
be battling with their peers like
Barcelona and Bayern Munich
for the top honours, Man U play-
ers and fans will be watching the
teams from the comfort of their
couches.
Is this not a feat to be proud
of? Long Live Moyes for scaling
new heights at Old Trafford and
giving For the Love of Game and
his ilk good fodder this entire EPL
season.
CHICKENED OUT: Hey, have AFC Leopards turned to juju? FACE-ACHE: Look at his face, and they lie they enjoy playing.
sportingsnapshots
CUTE BABE: Gentlemen, heres what awaits you in Brazil.
Page 16 / CRAZY MONDAY Monday, May 12, 2014 / The Standard
Hamza Babu serves and sips juicy gossip
in the breezy Coastal town of Mombasa
kahawatungu
P
atrons of Kahawa Tun-
gu were left in stitches
after news wafted in
that their friends at-
tempts at seeking his
wifes permission to marry a sec-
ond wife earned him beatings,
instead.
Chulu is a big baby who had
gained notoriety for not showing
interest in women. The man had
refused to marry despite his ad-
vanced age, and instead he had
been sampling the good things
life has to offer. A friend of his,
some time back, suggested they
take a trip to Lamu to enjoy what
life there has to offer.
They set off on their journey,
and came back after a while,
boasting about the great time they
had in Lamu.
We rode on asses, sailed in
dhows, tasted the famed biryani
ya samaki but the show-stopper
was the Lamu women, he de-
clared to his friends.
He assured everyone at Kaha-
wa Tungu that nowhere on planet
earth had women perfected the
art of taking care of men than on
Lamu island.
And to drive his point home,
he boasted about his new catch ,
who was in his custody. I even
came back with one. She is at my
house as we speak. Her name is
Amina, he boasted.
At last, our stud had seen the
light and was about to marry,
I mused. Indeed, Chulu had a
woman at his house. She was a
petite. How he ended up with her
surprised most of his buddies be-
cause he is not known to get at-
tracted to such women.
POLISHING NAILS
However as they say, wonders
will never cease. Chulu exhibited
devotion to Amina, a woman who,
interestingly, spends the better
part of her day polishing nails.
With time, she became tough on
him, so much so that whenever
he got home late, he had a lot of
Woman clobbers hubby for
seeking her permission
to marry second wife
explaining to do before he was let
in.
Friends began complaining
that they were not seeing Chulu
regularly, since he put the wom-
an in his house. And thats when
they hatched a plot to save him
from the clutches of his new wife
Amina.
We are going to set him up
with the most beautiful damsel
from Mombasa as a second wife
to keep Amina in check. This will
help him at least breathe free,
one of his friends suggested.
Ashina was the woman given
the mandate to redeem Chulu. She
took up her responsibility with a
lot of gusto. She was introduced to
Chulu whom she befriended and
promised him her undying love, as
long as he accepts her as his wife.
What you see is what you get,
she reportedly whispered to him,
brushing her lips in his ear lobes.
The electried Chulu promised
that he was going to negotiate with
Amina to have him get another
wife. He headed home hoping to
convince his Lamu woman.
Neighbours reported that a
erce ght ensued when the man
got home but there was no telling
who was on the receiving end of
it all until the following day when
Chulu was seen with a large ban-
dage tied round his head.
He looked as though he had
been run over by a train. The
same evening, Chulu appeared at
Kahawa Tungu and pleaded with
everyone to kindly desist from
trying to save him from the wild-
cat he was rearing at home lest he
gets killed. Just do not send any
more Ashinas to cause trouble for
me, he pleaded.
Everyone obliged and from
then onwards, Amina, the pocket-
sized lady from Lamu, earned our
respect, and Chulu has become
the laughing stock of Kahawa
Tungu. As they say in Lamu, Ki-
donge kidogo ladha tele.
Monday
7:30pm