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For Families > Keeping Kids Healthy > Social Life
Preparing Children for a Multicultural World
by the Staff of the NYU Child Study Center
Introduction
You're standing in the supermarket checkout line with your 3yearold when suddenly she points to
another little girl sitting in a nearby shopping cart and asks in a rather loud voice, "Mommy, why is
that girls skin brown?" or Mommy, why is that lady wearing a scarf all over her head? As heads
turn, you become embarrassed. You worry, "What kind of parent do they think I am?" or, "How
should I answer?" or, even more disturbing, "Why would my child ask such a thing?"
Sound familiar? You are not alone. Many parents have experienced similar incidents at some point
during their child's preschool years. Parents often respond with fear and concern"Is my child
prejudiced?"
Preschoolers have a natural curiosity about themselves, others and the world. While they may notice
differences in appearance, they are not making value judgments when they make such comments.
Parents can use such opportunities to teach positive values and tolerance. As your preschooler is
beginning to learn how to behave and interact with others, it is an ideal time to help him or her
learn that the world and the people with whom they interact are richly diverse. This teaching
process comes easier to some parents than others.
Beginning at the age of three, children start to become aware of color and other differences and
develop skills in racial classification; that is, they begin to accurately group people by skin color but
not by race. It is not until around age five that children begin to understand that skin color means
something more than mere color. It's important to remember that children aren't born with adult
like biases. They don't see "reality' the way adults do. Young children respond to what is directly
observable. Parents can do much to foster an environment that allows children to become racially,
ethnically and culturally healthy. The following suggestions can help parents teach tolerance and
acceptance at an early age:
Providethebasics
Children who are raised in a nurturing environment where they feel loved, supported, and valued
have the best chance of developing a healthy selfimage. If your child feels good about herself and
confident about her place in the world, she will be less likely to be fearful of people who are
different from her.
Setagoodexample
Children learn from observing your interactions with others. If you're respectful of all people, your
children will follow suit. A little selfanalysis is essential in being a good role model. Parents should
be aware of the impact of their own biases on their children's developing ideas about differences in
race, religion, skin color etc. It is also important to respond to other people's biased behavior. If a
family member or neighbor tells an ethnic joke or makes a racial slur in front of you or your child,
confront the issue immediately.
Relaxandanswerthequestion
When your children ask about skin color or other differences they have noticed among people,
answer in a relaxed, straightforward way. If your child detects embarrassment or annoyance in your
words, tone or facial expression, he might think something is wrong with being different or feel
that he is bad for asking. You might say. "You see how your skin is like mine? Well, his skin is like his
parents, his grandparents, and other people in his family." Or People who come from other
countries wear different kinds of clothing.. If you are standing in a crowd and would feel more
comfortable talking privately, you can simply say, "That's an important question. Let's talk about
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NYU Child Study Center, One Park Avenue, 7th Floor, New York, NY 10016 (212) 2636622
that when we have some time alone."
Exposeyourchildtodifferentcultures
The friendships your child makes can have a lasting effect. Consider schools or childcare programs
that embrace diversity and include children representative of different cultures. An environment
that reflects diversity can help children appreciate the richness of our world. And on a practical
level, children need to learn how to interact with a variety of peoplenot just now, but throughout
their lives. Someday, after all, these children will share the workplace with people of all colors and
backgrounds. Also, funtoread books that happen to feature multiracial characters are another
great way to help your child see the world as it really exists.
Correctyourchildren
If your children make an insensitive remark, remind them of how they feel when they aren't treated
well by their friends. As they learn to identify with other people's feelings, they'll gain insight into
the unfairness and harshness of prejudice.
If this nation is to prosper in the next millennium respect and appreciation of the cultural mosaic
that is this country is vital.
Howcanparentsandteachershelpteachtolerance?
Adapt the activities suggested below for different ages, using developmentally appropriate
language. For example, even young children are aware of differences in appearances:
Parents should affirm young childrens curiosity about race and ethnicity by pointing out that
people come in many colors.
Emphasize that groups of people should not be judged for the actions of a few.
Teaching tolerance is an ongoing process, not a single discussion, and should be discussed from
different points of view as incidents occur.
Encourage role playing and discuss both sides of an issue.
Be sensitive to racial and cultural stereotypes and have a discussion when stereotypes are
portrayed
In the media. Avoid making negative statements, even in the form of humor, about any racial,
ethnic or religious group.
Expose children to different cultures; read books with multicultural themes and provide access
to diverse music, literature and art.
Create opportunities for children to interact with people from different backgrounds. Consider
enrolling children in schools, child care facilities and afterschool sports that value diversity.
Research your own family history to determine from where and under what circumstances
grandparents and greatgrandparents emigrated.
Teach older children how to take action. Knowing what to do, such as lodging a complaint
with the appropriate school personnel or writing a letter to an editor, when they experience
intolerance enables children to feel they have some control.
Date Published: December 1, 1999
Date Reviewed: December 3, 2008