"

ATE KNOWS BEST LESS

PRESENTED TO MARIA ARIANNA FELICIA L. POTENCIANO
ON THE DATE OF HER 18TH BIRTHDAY
MAY 20, 2014

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

PREPARED BY
MARIA ANTONIA GIANNINA L. POTENCIANO
#

INTRODUCTION:

What you have in your hands is a carefully curated piece
of work that takes into consideration that your generally
infallible big sister does not know everything. Hard as
that is to believe, I too was eighteen once, and I made
my own fair share of mistakes.

This document was pieced together not so much to warn you
of the mistakes you will inevitably make, but perhaps as
inspiration that there is life after mistakes. But
perhaps more important: To serve as proof that there is
beauty inherent in those mistakes, even if you can only
see it after the fact.

Youre 18 now, and youre going to have to navigate
through life without the physical presence of mom. Youre
a lot stronger than I ever was so I do not doubt that you
will be nothing short of great, but know that you have me
to get through to the other side.

But in the meantime, my friends and I have come together
to bring you a collection of stories and advice to guide
you along the way.

So, enjoy your 18th, and watch life reveal itself to you
in ways you never imagined it could.



Yours, always,

Ate Toni

$
Antonia Potenciano:

Hi!

I'm collecting 18 statements by 18 people, particularly
what they'd say to their 18-year old selves. This is for
my little sister's 18th birthday, but I'm actually making
a point to start collecting now. She is of course blocked
from this thread so people who do know her, please do not
let her know.

So here's the question and feel free to answer: What
would you say/What advice would you give to your 18-year
old self?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Chuck, 28: Always be passionate about something, because
that will keep you alive when the world gets to be too
much. Also, you can never have enough Jalapeo Cheetos.
That is a fact.

Rob, 24: Invest in stocks now and learn HTML/CSS because
the future is full of web-heavy/internet important stuff.
Also: avoid all romances til you are in your mid 20s
because you should focus on your career which will
totally make you an eligible bachelor more than anything
else. Also: Apple Care. Invest in it.

Pinky, 27: If you don't know what you want to do with
your life, stop worrying. The Universe will sort things
out for you along the way.

Jio, 24: Save up for one big thing every year (more than
20k) - it'll teach you how to save when you start
working.

Joseph, 23: Matuto mula sa lahat ng mga karanasan. Huwag
mataranta at magmadali; paakyat ka pa lang.

Ysa, 24: Don't be so hard on yourself when things don't
go the way you plan. Be kind to everyone, cause you truly
don't know what they are going through themselves.
Forgive others, cause being mad and upset bears too much
on the soul.

Renchie, 25: Sa mundong to, sarili mo lang ang maasahan
mo. Managing expectations is the key to happiness.

Etienne, 26: Everything you become is baggage, and you
only ever fill your luggage with the things available
around you. So basically, choose what you want to keep
%
for the future by choosing the things that surround you
today. You don't want to wake up one day with bags full
of stuff you don't want anymore and find out that this is
all you're stuck with.

Migi, 24: You can study all you want but it won't mean a
thing unless you actually take what you learn and make
something with it. It's when you start making stuff and
breaking stuff that you really start to become somebody.

Cara, 22: Bakit pinili mong magdebut? Dapat kotse
nalang.

Timmy, 28: Don't be so mad at mom and dad. They were
trying their best.

Margo, 25: Life is always much bigger than it looks
right now so be humble and listen to wise and godly
people.

Stacy, 24: The high life is a low life.

Gabby, 24: You will make mistakes, you will fail, you
may very well well repeat that cycle over and over again.
You will lose money, lose friends, lose battles, and
maybe even the will to carry on, but never give up. You
never really make mistakes, you never really fail, you
were just practicing how to do it right over and over
again.

Madge, 23: Choose wisely.

Alich, 20: Make as many mistakes as you can, just don't
repeat old onesespecially those already made by your
friends.

Mark, 23: Always love either romantic or platonic.
Just love.

Adi, 24: Learning keeps you young, and your mind sharp.

Smile, 24: The complexity of problems is directly
proportional with aging. Piliin mo lang 'yung mga
feelings/issues na gagawin mong big deal. Marami pang
darating sa future.

Leiron, 24: Things won't get better unless you do
something about it. If you're treading the waters, it's
just as good as drowning. What people think of you isn't
as important as what you want to eat. Your parents are
totally uncool with keeping a cat but you'll get to keep
one anyway. Fall in love desperately and without
&
reservations. Things will hurt when they should, and
things will be great when they should. Quit whining and
get to work.

Quit whining and get to work.

Ali, 27: Huwag ka masyadong seryoso. Seryoso.

Gisella, 21: When in doubt ask: what would Beyonce do?

Hansley, 25: You might feel the vistas are expanding.
But trust me, it's finding that one little shack you can
rest your tired bones in that's worth the travel and
effort.

Job, 24: Small people live small lives. Nothing happens
unless you put yourself out there for opportunities to
learn, laugh, and love.

Walter, 23: 5 years later, I still have no fucking clue
what I'm doing. But better to fail from ambition than
from fear of trying.

Jon, 35: No stems, just stick to the buds. Stems are
very poisonous.

Cathy, 22: Living your life for others will turn into a
vicious cycle. Be yourself unless what you are is a dick
then you better change that.

Ross, 24: Forgiveness is more powerful than you think.
Be kind, even if the world isn't.

Toni, 23: Don't bother with the cigarettes, but don't
shun the smokers. They end up becoming your best friends
anyway.

Boombee, 27: You will change your mind about many things
along the way. Forgive yourself for not making the best
choice the first time you decided.

Petra, 26: Happiness is easy.

Red, 24: Use protection.

Alfred, 23: Lumandi nang maaga; you reap what you sow.

Deb, 23: Treasure the silence, it won't be around for
long.

Jorel, 22: Eighteen is an awkward age you feel like
everything is set out for you, when the truth is you have
'
completely no idea what's yet to come at you. You'll be
surprised. It's a good kind of surprised, if you open
yourself up for it. Know that nothing is ever in your
hands. That way, you'll realize everything is a gift.
Everything can also be taken away from you as soon as you
realize what a gift really means. Come to terms with
that, and every thing you face might just be more
meaningful.

Being judgmental is a waste of time. You will feel like a
self-important asshole every day. Don't learn it too
late. Don't mistake judgmentalism for critical-
mindedness. Don't be an asshole. Unless you really need
to be. Even then, don't be an asshole.

Thank your sister more often. There's no one else who
will care for you like your sister. She's special.

Ryan, 24: Never be quick to judge a typo, first check
the keyboard if the keys are close, even if they're not,
you pointing it out will be rarely appreciated.

Jake, 22: Find out what your dreams are so you can start
chasing them.

Weng, 25: Make sure you take note of everything, the
good, the bad and the in-betweens.

Jo, 26: Unang mainlove talo.

Ana, 24: Never let anyone tell you that you're not
Superwoman.

Mark, 22: Yung mga moments na feeling mo end of the
world... Hindi pa yon.

Ech, 22: Life doesn't make you choose between following
your dreams and doing good. There is always a way to do
both. Be bold enough to find that way.

Andre, 26: Wait and see, because the next best thing
ain't necessarily going to be the best thing in the
future.

Pat, 22: Build enough safe places in your mind for your
thoughts to settle.

Adrian, 26: Take time to think about what/who really
matters. Which brings me toBros before hos. Or in our
case: Sis before penis.

(
Paolo, 26: The movie in your mind does not exist! But
that doesn't mean you can't be inspired to direct your
own real-life movie.

Elya, 23: If you have to do something stupid, remember
it well so you could make an epic story out of it.

Michiko, 22: "Remember how everything you thought
mattered two, maybe three years ago doesn't matter today?
Keep that in mind when you're faced with things that are
actually important: not what people think of you, but
what you want to think of yourself in five, ten, fifteen
years."

Earl, 23: Watch your step because ankle injuries aren't
fun."

Crissel, 23: You are stronger than you seem.

Angel, 24: Keep that heart off your sleeve. It won't
pump blood properly from there. Your brain won't get the
oxygen it needs.

Kevin, 21: Believe in yourself because even if the world
doesn't, there will always be someone up there who does.

Boris, 22: Go out of your comfort zone. Remember: a
kernel wouldn't have grown into a huge tree if it didn't
dare break out of its shell.

Jopie, 28: It's ok to listen to the opinion of others,
but, really, the only decision that matters is yours.
It's your life. Live it as how you want to. Make
decisions that your soul finds comfort in.

Ria, 22: It's okay to be selfish once in a while as long
as you don't hurt anyone with the decisions you make.

Marla, 28: I think college will be the one season in
your life that you'll be in the perfect age to chase your
passions and whims because you'll have the time, the
opportunities, and the energy to do so. Throw yourself in
there! Especially if it involves things you're afraid,
whether it's singing in public, leading people, taking a
chance on a boy (or a girl!), generating a huge body of
work, choosing to forgive even when it's hard, applying
for internships, traveling by yourself, etc. It's the
best time to stretch your skin and it'll be retractable
enough to handle heartbreak and failure, which should
propel you to do it all over again. It will be a familiar
feeling for the rest of your life, so it's a good idea to
get used to it early.
)
Fill your heart up with it! Learn to get drunk with the
feeling of being infinitesimal and being part of
something bigger and grander. Learn to spot other people
who see things the same way, it will make the journey a
lot easier and less lonely.

Also, invest in mutual funds! Please!

Beloy, 22: Listen to ate.

Benjamin, 23: We can't push time in circles or pull it
together in our neat boxes. It is a friend whose hands we
hold, whose rhythm we dance along to.

Apa, 21: Fake it till you make it.

Luc, 21: slow down, you crazy child. If you're so smart,
tell me, why are you so afraid?

Sev, 58: The mistakes you make now at 18 don't seem to
fit in your supposed growing up years but they will
eventually have a nice place in your heart. They will be
there to remind you that you will be all right.

Ben, 26: Fill your days doing things that make you happy
and surround yourself with people that make you happy.
The money will take care of itself, just put in the work,
be enthusiastic about things that matter. Be kind to
others. Do your part to protect the Earth. Climb
mountains, cross oceans, explore cities. The world is a
wonderful place. You're going to stop smoking next year,
but feel free to stop now. Eat healthy, and Jesus Christ,
don't drink too much. Take your father on a trip he'll
love.

Jie, 21: Watch Buffy.

Jam, 20: Don't let ego fuel you. Love for others is a
better energy source.

Keisha, 21: Don't worry, you'll figure it out. It'll
happen little by little, but you'll get there.

Monica, 22: Don't regret anything you end up doing
because you'll look back one day and realize that there
was a reason for it all along.


*
Below is a letter by Patrick Jalasco, preserved in its
entirety as requested:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


1) As much as life presents you with numerous shitty
situations where you feel like the world is about
to end, it also presents you with numerous
opportunities to make up for and grow. If things
seem too overwhelming for you to handle, try
stepping back for moment and try to remember why
youre doing what youre doing. If you feel like
youre going to fail one subject, just think that
its not the end of the world. You might fail this
subject but youll have another opportunity to make
up for it. The good thing (and also the bad) about
life is that it just goes on.

2) In relation to that, if things do still seem too
overwhelming, try just focusing on one thing at a
time. Thinking (and worrying) about everything all
at once can really be overwhelming. Just take one
step at a time.

3) People come from different contexts in life. It
will always be easier to judge someone for being
something but it will always be harder to
understand why they became that in the first place.
As much as it is fun to judge other people, try as
best as you can to take the high road.

4) Also, though it might seem the same, understanding
someone is totally different as tolerating them.
Understanding is only the first step, which what
tolerance really just is (I dont know if this
makes sense to you. Haha). The main challenge
though is going to the second step, which is
believing that they are better than what they are
now and that they have the potential to become the
best they can be.

5) And this leads me to one of the biggest things that
have made an impact on me: that love will always be
the great equalizer. Its not just about romantic
love that Im talking about. But its just really
love for the people around you: your friends, your
family, even strangers. What love really is is the
2-step approach of understanding plus the
commitment. And I guess thats what makes love so
hard. Understanding alone takes a lot of effort and
time. Coupling that with the belief that that
"+
person can be better and committing on helping
him/her achieve that will just make things
infinitesimally make things much more difficult.
But I guess thats where the beauty and reward of
love lies, seeing something or someone youve put
so much effort and time on blossom into a wonderful
and amazing being. You need only remember the
Little Prince and his love for his red rose.

6) Remember that love is a two-way street. Love is not
a relationship of someone dictating the other how
they should live out their lives. If that was the
case, then youre better off being teacher and
student. At the same time, love is not a
relationship of dependency. Youre not there to
cling on to someone like a parasite. Love is a
relationship is based on equality. What makes love
special and set above the rest is that both of you
are on equal footing with each other. Noone is
above or lower than the other. Love is a
relationship that acknowledges that neither of you
is perfect but both of you still choose to be
together. There will be times when you will hurt
each other due to our shortcomings. But thats part
of it. Love is choosing to be with that person and
help her/him grow to her/his fullest potential
despite her/his quirks and shortcomings.

7) NEVER BE LATE. Change that Filipino Time habit of
yours. It is disrespectful of others since they
also have other stuff to do in their day and their
worlds dont only revolve around yours. The most
expensive thing someone can give you is their time.
You can never get back time that is already spent.

8) Value the relationships you make (not just the
romantic ones). More than material things, memories
and the people youll be making them with will
probably be the most valuable things youll have in
this life. Cherish them. As I said, time is the
most expensive thing that someone can give you.

9) Learn which battles to fight and which ones to flee
from. There will be some things you just cant
change. If youve done all you can and nothing
changes, then I think its already time to step
back.

10) In all ways, be humble. In relation to number 9,
part of being human is our limitations. It teaches
us to humble ourselves, and to learn that all of us
have a negative side, in one way or another. Try to
""
always be thankful, no matter how shitty things
get.

11) Move at your own pace. Others will be suckier than
you while there also some who will be better than
you. I know its hard not to compare yourself with
other people, especially when it comes to
succeeding in life. But no one really knows what
she/he is really doing. What matters for now is
finding that one thing you are passionate about and
doing something, no matter how small it is, to be
better at it each day.

12) Dont keep any hatred. Learn to forgive (and in
other times, forget). Keeping anger and hatred will
only harm you in the end. Its better to live life
without holding any grudges against anybody.

13) Exercise, sleep early, eat healthy. Lifes gonna be
more stressful from here on out. Sleep early and
eat healthy so youll have enough energy for the
coming busy days. Exercise so youll be able to
cope up with stress.

I guess thats about it. I know I have so much more to
say but I might make a novel out of it already if I
continue (haha. Tatay joke). Yanna, I wish you all the
happiness and blessings this world and God can give you.
Being 18 is such a wonderful, wonderful experience and I
do hope you make the most out of it. Dont be afraid to
explore. Try everything at least once (for drugs, just
keep the limit to one. Haha. Or probably dont do it
ever. Hahahaha). You wont have the luxury to use your
youth as an excuse for doing stupid things when you get
older. I hope this year will be the start of so many
exciting adventures, experiences, and memories for you!
Happy happy birthday again!!!