The Sounds of Sunday

Kerima Polotan Tuvera

IT WAS her day for meeting old friends. Emma Gorrez had ventured out twice efore
this! to school and to "artinez Kios#! ut she had met no one she #new.
Even the woman ehind the oo#s at the Kios# did not rememer her. Emma had
lingered longer than she should! five! ten minutes longer! although there had een
nothing of interest to hold her to this s$ot where she had um$ed into %oming several
years ago. That time! he had stood at the rac#! thuming through a oo#& when their
loo#s had met! he had owed slightly. 'e had owed too in their room two wee#s ago!
one night after a wearying fight. 'e would hear no more from her and he had cut short
their argument with one vicious swing of his fist against the edroom wall. (o tears!
none! e)ce$t the audile $anting of their selves! li#e two runners come to the end of a
race. 'e had owed! holding his head. This was how married $eo$le fought! she had
thought*li#e com$lete strangers! with anger $ulsing etween them.
That day in the Kios#! wondering where he was and what he did while she stood three
hundred #ilometers away! she thought then that if he returned! if she should see him
suddenly looming in the doorway! if he strode in! scowling or not! loving her or not! she
would run to him! and it would not matter that they had hurt each other terrily +ut
only the rain fell outside the Kios# entrance. %oming had not a$$eared& no one she
#new had a$$eared! and the girl tending the oo# store ta$$ed her fingers im$atiently.
Emma threw the oo# down and hurried home.
She had also gone to "r. ,ividad to see aout her old -o. She had written to say she
was coming ut the first thing she saw when she $ushed the familiar atwing doors
was her letter resting casually aove his glass to$! uno$ened. It had seemed li#e a
reuff. Even the information that he was out of town did not hel$.
+ut on this day! she ran into them all. She had not ta#en the first turn on Tanedo Street
when "rs. Pintoy s$rang from ehind the corner. She made an ./0
./1
2$on 3ur 3wn Ground
e)$ansive gesture! o$ening and closing her mouth! unale to s$ea#! until Emma
dragged her to a tale at %e 4u)e. Then "rs. Pintoy5s torrent of words came and Emma
sto$$ed her ears! $retending to e dis$leased ut actually ha$$ier than she had een
since she had left %omingo Gorrez in Sam$aloc.
She met ,ene ,ividad outside Plaridel 'igh School.
6Three years!6 he said! ta#ing her hand.
6Will you ta#e me ac#76 she as#ed.
'e stood! shifting his weight from one foot to the other! trying to veil his thoughts.
6In all ways!6 he smiled.
68ou have learned how to ma#e eautiful s$eeches!6 she said.
6And you*what did the city teach you76
Emma Gorrez ignored the 9uestion. She would not do her rememering this way!
outside in the street! eneath a hot sun! efore the searching eyes of this thin! graying
man who had once said he loved her. 'e did not as# her aout %oming and she
volunteered no news e)ce$t that he was well.
She met (orma ,ividad! too! swinging her $otent hi$s u$ the street. "r.
,ividad5s wife made her way! unseeing! to the us sto$! there to wait for the ne)t
Pantranco us to %agu$an. That hadn5t changed! Emma thought! $assing her y.
+ut many other things in Tayug had. The sna#es in the $laza were dead and their wired
cage had een ta#en over y a $air of deer! ca$tured in the hills neary.
They lim$ed aout! dragging themselves around the enclosure! loo#ing u$ with
accusing eyes when Emma a$$roached to throw them its of grass.
The shanties on Tanedo had een torn down to give way to sturdier uildings and now
they lifted their falsely modern fagades to the sun. Towards the railroad station! two
moviehouses had een erected and their faulty sound systems $ierced the air at noon.
Together with the twelve o5cloc# whistle! sonorous declarations of love and anger
straddled the town.
6: love you : hate you;6 came the screams and the echoes would carry to the $eri$hery
of the town. It lasted for hours. Emma Gorrez! the first day she heard it! shut the
windows of the old house. It did not #ee$ the voices away. Some of the stridency did
not reach her! with the windows shut and her ears $lugged with cotton! ut the echoes
$ersisted. Emma would gather the children in the room farthest from the noise! reading
stories from oo#s salvaged from the wrec# of the Gorrez marriage.
Emma Gorrez had een strong for oth of them! and yet the marriage had come a$art. It
was difficult to understand. They had loved each other through the various crises of
their married life*the times when he had chuc#ed -os and wal#ed out of agreements
and. turned his ac# on decisions. Even that terrile The Sounds of Sunday
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time with the <osios had drawn them together. The usiness lowing u$ in their faces
li#e that*they had left Tayug! lured y the <osios5 $romise of friendshi$! and set u$
the $ress! and gone through the harrowing months when oth the usiness and the
friendshi$ wavered! and finally the nearly fatal end. Emma had wrec#ed the Gloc#ner
and turned u$on (ora! holding (ora5s slim! well=tended hand eneath the lade of the
huge cutter. +ut someone! Isaelo or Paco or %omingo himself*she never afterwards
as#ed who*#ic#ed the $lug away and sla$$ed Emma and (ora down. That was all.
Emma did not go ac# to the $ress again. She left %omingo Gorrez to $ic# u$ the
$ieces! and this he did admiraly. This man whose dar# moods she could not
com$letely gras$! charmed them out of the frightful mess her foolish rage had $lunged
them into! and the <osios had een amenale to letting them go since they were
themselves not too eager for a scandal.
Perha$s! it was from that moment the marriage egan to go. Emma Gorrez wanted to
return to Tayug. %oming would not hear of it. To her $leas that they would feel safer in
the old town! %oming snorted. (o one was safe anywhere! %oming said. 4ife waited for
a man5s unguarded moments! and there were $lenty! he said. 6We5re staying! Em!6 he
said. 6I5ll get a -o. Then we5ll show this $lace a thing or two!6 he said.
After that! %oming had sim$ly wal#ed into >uality Products! luffing his way to a des#
in the Pulic ,elations de$artment. It meant doing all the things that Emma des$ised.
'e slid into it smoothly! effortlessly! wearing the inevitale shirt sleeves and thin tie.
When he left the house! Emma would watch him go*it was not li#e those mornings in
Tayug when she had ste$$ed ac# while he drove the -alo$y out of the yard. Then!
there had een the assurance of things familiar& the hills loo#ed down enignly u$on
them and enevolence enwra$$ed them all surely! %oming! Emma! and the life in her
wom.
+ut in the city! she watched him drive away to a world that re$elled her. 'e returned
each night s$ea#ing the -argon of the trade and donning the -esting attitudes
fashionale among his friends. It was not a life worth living and she tried to reach him.
In the high! airless room of the Sam$aloc a$artment house! she s$o#e from the de$ths
of her lan#et at night. 6This is not what we want!6 she said. The $assing cars cast
strange! grotes9ue shadows on the wall! lighting u$ with crisscrossing forms the
$eeling lue $aint of the edroom. 'e re$lied with a groan. 'e did not li#e arguing
over an unrealized $eril. +ut when she was insistent! when she tal#ed with yearning of
returning to Tayug! to all that she felt was meaningful to oth of them! then he re$lied!
in monosyllales at first! ho$ing to discourage her! ut ./?
2$on 3ur 3wn Ground
finally in long! $assionate statements full of his desire to con9uer this city which had
humiliated him twice.
6We want the things that will last!6 she said.
6The money lasts. 8ou li#e the money! don5t you76 he as#ed.
6: don5t deserve that!6 she said.
6Em! Em!6 he said! in a voice a$$ro)imating the old tenderness. 68ou are the child! not I.
8ou see ghosts where there are none.6
68ou can5t go on $lotting and tric#ing forever! uying res$ectaility for +ig "an in
>uality*6
'e #new what she was tal#ing of. 6It was a test of s#ill!6 he recalled. 6I li#e $itting
myself against a real foe!6 he laughed.
6That old man!6 she flung at him. 6'e was seventy. If nothing else! he had earned the
right to die with his illusions@ honor! courage! honesty . . . 6
"r. (avarro had come #noc#ing at their door! one evening! an old man in threadare!
aggy $ants. 'is daughter had wor#ed at >uality! a silly girl! of whom $erha$s it was
true what they had all said later! that she deserved what she had gotten in the
suffocating office elevator! tragically stalling etween floors one twilight. Stumling!
$anic=stric#en! out of the cold! steel o)! aling hysteri=cally of an attac# $er$etrated
y (umer .! the e)ecutive who loved $astel=colored shirts and who goled fruit $ies
greedily at the office canteen. "r. (avarro had stormed the offices of >uality!
demanding a form of redress that too# everyone aac# ecause it did not include the
consideration of money. 'e wanted to send (umer . to -ail. (othing that they could
say or offer could deter him. It was a most fundamental sort of outrage and he
demanded a most fundamental sort of satisfaction@ the sight of 4o$ez ehind ars. The
legal force would not touch it. There were all #inds of $redictions! oh! the various
fateful ramifications of that single! senseless act. Stoc#s $lummeting! faces lost! an entire
usiness uilt u$on the goodwill of $eo$le Awho had een led to elieve that >uality
em$loyed only God=fearing menB going u$ in smo#e ecause this chit of a girl
disdained $ayment.
2ntil %oming had ste$$ed into the fray! ringing the inimitale charm of his father5s
son to ear u$on the old man. Gorrez had invited (avarro to the house where!
willingly and gladly! (avarro went ecause Gorrez s$o#e his dialect and used its native
di$hthongs well.
68es! Grandfather76 Gorrez had ca-oled. 6A little tal# aout your $rolem7
Su$$er! and the sight of my children! and my wife! a fine woman! and my guarantee
that nothing I might $ro$ose to you will mean disgrace. 8es! Grandfather76
(avarro had woled from the us sto$ to the house of the Gorrezes! tra$$ed y his
own ewilderment and shame. When %oming was through with him! youThe Sounds
of Sunday
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could not see the mortal wounds! they were where you could not see them@ in the heart
that must have led 9uietly to death ecause! fed and warmed and made much of!
(avarro had allowed himself to leave the Gorrez house with a chec#. 'e had #illed
himself later. A wee# after the funeral! the chec# came ac# y mail! torn into filmy!
tiny its.
Dor a long time afterwards! Emma Gorrez would not allow %oming to touch her.
>uality had given him a good onus! a raise! a larger des#! and his own name in lac#!
glossy letters u$on an o$a9ue door. Emma would not s$end the new sum ut %oming
rought it all to her! again and again and again! until she finally too# it. She went to the
most e)$ensive store in town and s$ent it on things that in her soer moments she
would not have dreamt of uying. When she ste$$ed out of the store onto the sidewal#!
a $ile of $ac#ages eside her! she loo#ed u$ at the sun! ut the sun was not there! only a
vague! diffused terror! $eculiar ecause it frightened her no longer. The memory of that
tremling old man did not hurt her anymore! and she said to herself! flagging a ca! this
was corru$tion.
In their room! she s$elled the word for him and %oming Gorrez laughed.
Emma lay ac# in ed! watching the headlights momentarily illuminating the dar#
wall. The feelings that God vouchsafed a man*$ain and -oy! love and lust*
they were li#e the lights u$on the wall. 8ou #new an instant of $ain or -oy or love or
desire and you were never the same again ecause the dar#ness inside yourself had
#nown so much illumination. And at the end of it all! what7 A gentle discernment! a
manner of soft s$eech and elief! elief.
6We5re all in fragments!6 she said to %oming another time. 6And : want us oth whole.
<om$lete.6 'e had $ulled des# drawers o$en! searching heatedly for something she
did not guess until he threw it at her*the dar#=green! com$act an#oo# filled with
de$osits. It was as if he had said something oscene and she #new then that she would
have to leave him.
6I am all here;6 %oming announced! thum$ing himself on the chest. 6All here;6
She shoo# her head. 6(o! you5re not*you were easier to love efore. %o you rememer
yourself then! %oming76 she as#ed. 68ou were a good man!6 she said sim$ly
The money! the ease! the new status! had come to them and they had ceased eing
themselves. That was the core of their dilemma@ to go through the streets of the city and
not lose their innocence! not to e war$ed and twisted into the ugly form of city fol#.
6We could live in Tayug 9uietly and modestly!6 she said. 68ou would not have to
arrange $eo$le5s lives for them.6
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2$on 3ur 3wn Ground
68ou and your airs;6 he snarled. 6Everyone5s doing it ut you5re etter than everyone.
There5s never any dout in your mind aout yourself! is there! Emma7
8ou say a thing is so! and it is so! ecause Emma says it is so. 'ow can you ear to live
with someone li#e me! Em7 : don5t want to go to heaven. . . . 6
At the us station where they had gone three mornings afterwards! they stood
uncomfortaly until the familiar ?:. $ulled in and egan to load u$.
6Will you write76 he as#ed.
She nodded.
68ou don5t have to go! Em. (one of this has to ha$$en!6 he said. +ut the children were
scramling u$ the vehicle and they waited for their mother who turned swiftly on her
heels and climed u$. She had touched %oming 9uic#ly on the chee# and said
something that the us! starting all at once! had drowned.
When they $ulled away! she held her grief=washed face aove her sons5 heads.
%oming! she wrote from Tayug! what does a man wor# for7 Is it not for a corner and a
moment to e tender in7 3utside the door! eyond the gate! there! it is always a rush to
get to somewhere where there is finally nothing. We s$in li#e to$s! straining for what
will maim and sear us. We thin# we #now what we want and we chase it! ut when its
hood falls off! it is the macare face of death . . . I have left you ecause I cannot live
without you. That is a statement that should do your de$artment at >uality $roud. 8ou
turn out $latitudes li#e that at assemly=line s$eed ut do you honor them7 8ou uy
and sell eliefs! you uy and sell sensiilities! and! of course! in the final analysis! you
uy and sell $eo$le . . .
'is answer was full of newsy its@ the neighors had as#ed for her ut were not overly
curious. 'e might trade in the car for a two=toned mauve! mauve was the latest hue of
success. They were $anelling the conference room at last. There was a sale of $in=
stri$ed Fan 'eusens at his favorite store.
'e can get along without me! she thought itterly.
(oody as#ed why she had returned to Tayug. Everyone $resumed that %omingo
Gorrez would follow in a short while. Even after she had egun to teach again at
Plaridel 'igh! she heard nothing to indicate that $eo$le were wondering why she and
her two sons lived y themselves. It was the 9uiet and modest life that she had wanted.
Each day! she wal#ed the oys to the $rimary school uilding ato$ "anresa Knoll and
then turned downhill again towards the high school. At a certain $oint! she could see
the de$ot where %oming had wor#ed efore. The derric#s were still there! star# against
the s#y.
3n her way home in the afternoon! she loo#ed in on the deer. The ,izal statue near the
$atio! religiously whitewashed y town officials! lifted unwearied arms still urdened
with ageless overcoat and oo#s.
The Sounds of Sunday
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68ou would thin#!6 "r. ,ividad said! catching u$ with her one afternoon!
6that he had seen nothing at all.6
Dorty years efore! ,ividad5s father had led an aortive insurrection*two hundred
$eo$le had $erished! strewn all over the $laza. 'is own mother! three months
$regnant! had died at the foot of the statue! one ullet through her heart! her rough
hands gras$ing the folds of a flag she had fashioned in the ravines of the "angatarem
mountains where they had gone to organize. 6They had sent me away efore that!6 "r.
,ividad had told Emma the story that first year she had come out to this town. 6And
when : saw them again! it was here! among the hedges.6 They were dead! and he! the
fifteen=year=old son of Amang! was not. At the sound of gunfire earlier that day! he had
run to the $laza where the $eo$le had said the <olorum were and found his $arents
s$rawled li#e that. They would not let him ury them. The officer who had shot his
mother had a$$roached and said! 6Go home! #id.6
: am their son! he wished to answer! ut no one had $aid him any attention. 'e had
lived with that guilt. 'e had left town for years! studied in the city! returning to set u$
the high school. And then he had lived with another #ind of guilt! he was living with it
still! in fact*his wife! (orma ,ividad! sic# with a greed he could not satisfy! meeting
strange men in strange rooms in strange towns.
6I have seen everything!6 "r. ,ividad went on! falling in ste$ with Emma Gorrez.
The wind from the hills was swee$ing out to sea. 6Everything!6 ,ividad re$eated. They
loo#ed at each other. 'er own sons would e at home! waiting for her! ut she lingered!
glancing at this old friend5s face. %id he mean everything7
That twilight they had oth stood in the $laza five years ago! watching the school girls
$laying on the grass! two wee#s efore her im$ulsive marriage to %omingo Gorrez. "r.
,ividad had lurted out a few words that had rought down u$on oth of them a
delicate! envelo$ing silence.
6 . . . only the rief timid $leasure!6 he had said! s$ea#ing slowly! 6 . . . letting you
#now . . . what harm can it do now7 . . . you5re marrying Gorrez. : cannot sto$ that. . .
and soon another com$lete! self=contained ule on the face of the earth . . . the sounds
of Sunday -oy@ ay in the cri! $ot u$on the stove! rain on the roof! and a large warm
ed ec#oning in the corner . . . 6
The Pulic ,elations de$artment of >uality Products! Incor$orated! occu$ied a whole
suite on the seventh floor of the Genith +uilding in Plaza Tanduay. The Genith was one
of a modern! s$are design! seemingly fragile! rising on stilts.
,ow on row of cowe windows dazzled the $assery. Three cowe windows .?.
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elonged to %omingo Gorrez who now drew a monthly $ay in four digits! not
including allowances.
When Ernesto +ello! chief $lotter! was out of town! Gorrez called the shots@ it was his
voice! coming over the intercom set! that sent them all s#ittering over the well=sanded
floor of the P, suite. 'eads were constantly eing cho$$ed off! ut +ello and Gorrez
held on to theirs! although gra$evine had it that more than once in the $ast! conflicting
amitions had nearly $reci$itated an o$en rea#. +ut oth #new etter than to court
disaster. They were favorites of +ig "an who $layed the game so de)terously that
neither #new who was favored more. It was one way of ensuring loyalty. They were
loyal to the oss! to=the=death loyal! Gorrez $articularly.
+efore their estrangement! %oming gleefully rought to Emma the latest news of +ig
"an5s current $laymate. Each night! as soon as he had loosened his tie and #ic#ed off
his shoes! %oming would give her the latest communi9ue@ 6Emma! it5s ,uy Trias of
Accounting this time.6 3r Dely +ara of Diles. 3r "ercedes Sulit of <o$y. They were all
the same to Emma Gorrez*hungry! eager young girls! fresh from college! their foolish
little heads filled with slee# magazine stuff. Whoever it was +ig "an fancied sli$$ed
each noon into %omingo Gorrez5s room 6to na$6*
while in the office ad-oining! the oss sat! lic#ing his cho$s! his lims tremling with
ague and desire. Difteen minutes later! after a sufficiently refreshing na$! the connecting
door etween Gorrez5s and the oss5 rooms would o$en. It was a door everyone well
#new was there ut no one mentioned. At <afe 4u)aire! Gorrez as#ed for a second cu$
of coffee! sometimes a third! stood to ma#e a $hone call to his des#! noted the usy
signal! smiled! and too# his time.
8ou could always tell! said %oming to his wife! who had done $retty well y herself.
Three or four wee#s afterwards! someone was certain to e s$orting a diamond ring.
3ne girl had uilt a summer house for a sic# father! in addition to the s$ar#ler on her
finger. "ina! the #nowing min)! had demanded to e sent to 'ong#ong several times!
from where she had returned loaded to the ears with lu)ury goods which she $eddled
at tremendous $rofit to the other girls in the lunchroom*ags! cashmere sweaters! and
sil#s. S9uealing e)citedly! the girls fought for the $rivilege of eing listed in "ina5s
ledger! a rown! hardound oo# she carried all over P, twice a month! into whose
$ages she wrote names and dets.
There were the office $arties.
+ig "an honored all office $arties with his $resence. E)ecutives one to ten came!
ouron under their arms. S#ull ca$s were $assed around. "usic was loud! laughter
raucous. At that $arty celerating the defeat of the stri#ers against >uality! the oss
danced with all the wives! including Emma Gorrez. Including The Sounds of Sunday
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"rs. Testa! whose husand had led the stri#e. "rs. Testa had not een invited to the
$arty on the Genith roof garden ut she had come -ust the same to $lead for her
husand5s -o ac#. +ig "an had not #nown who she was. 'e was whirling her around
in a fast rhuma and was $roaly toying with the idea of as#ing her to na$ in Gorrez5s
room when a man5s angry hand cut his $leasure short. There was Testa! in a sweat=
stained $olo shirt! and three days5 eard on his chin. 'e had led the stri#e and lost! and
here! gathered for a victorious evening! were the enemy! +ello! Gorrez! ,eyes! Paez! the
whole nec#tied unch! who had $ledged su$$ort! and then sold him out. Testa too# his
wife y the elow! smiling crazily! and wal#ed to his friends and shoo# their hands!
solemnly! ceremoniously! saying something that froze the -oy in their faces.
6What did he say76 Emma as#ed %oming on their way home that night.
6%oming76
The astard! %oming had muttered under his reath. The goddam son of a f=ing
astard! %oming had cursed! shifting gears.
6What did he say76
6Something 4atin!6 re$lied %oming.
64atin76
8ah! %oming said drun#enly! ste$$ing on the gas! swinging the car around a curve.
" orituri te salutamus.
%omingo Gorrez5s role in the ill=starred stri#e had not een as villainous as +ello5s ut it
had een wic#ed enough.
+ello had done the dirty -o! worming his way into the stri#ers5 confidence! listing a few
$ersonal grievances himself! lending his name to the manifesto. +ut +ello had not
marched with them into +ig "an5s office. When Testa and the rest of the oys had
wal#ed in! +ello was already there! ehind the oss5 ar! mi)ing himself a drin#.
+ut %oming could have swung it for Testa! had he een so minded. 6Well! Gorrez76 +ig
"an had as#ed. 6What do you thin#76
%oming had $ic#ed u$ the demands. 'e could have hel$ed the oss to see how things
really were. >uality stoc#s were u$ a hundred $er cent! $rovincial outlets were never
etter! $ulic relations was going great guns! a few raises would not have hurt. Why!
the old goat s$ent more for those rief contraand moments in Gorrez5s office. +ut +ig
"an5s steely gaze did not once leave %omingo Gorrez5s face! which lanched and
urned y turns. 'ell! Gorrez had thought! life was rough all around.
6I shrugged my shoulders!6 he told Emma later.
Emma $ushed him away.
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2$on 3ur 3wn Ground
6Everything led to that one moment! %oming. 8ou could have redeemed yourself. 8ou
could have done the right thing. +ut a shrug is a smart refle)! it comes with half a dozen
others in a handy #it they distriute among today5s right oys . . . Are you sure!6 she
as#ed aloud! 6are you sure $im$ing is all you do for him76
Emma felt %oming5s low even efore it landed on her chee#.
She felt it again! sitting with ,ene ,ividad one Saturday at a tale in %e 4u)e.
In Tayug! on Saturdays! there was nothing to do ut wal# around town. After you had
seen the deer and the $atio! you invarialy dro$$ed in at the restaurant and too# one of
its attered tales and ordered coffee. The everage came! strong and steaming! in a
thic# wet cu$! and when she rememered food! she as#ed for a roll and s$eared it with
a for#. She was doing -ust that one afternoon when ,ene ,ividad wal#ed in and too#
the chair across her.
She did not as# ut she #new! instinctively! what he was there for. The last us from
%agu$an came at seven $ast. 'e would wait for that and go through the farce of
welcoming (orma ,ividad from one of her tri$s. 'e would then ta#e her home*it was
an act of #indness.
Emma and "r. ,ividad were comfortale together! ma#ing small tal#.
'e as#ed her how she found the students these days7
She as#ed him if he went often to "rs. Pintoy7
'e told her that Plaridel was eginning to attract $eo$le from +alungao! they had
twenty students from that town this year.
She told him that the Gorrez tenants from Anonas had descended on her one morning!
ringing chic#ens! fruits! and eggs! as#ing aout A$o 4aureano5s son! %oming. They
wanted to #now when he was arriving. With the drought! it was not easy to fatten a $ig.
6What did you tell them76 "r. ,ividad as#ed her. 'e s$ooned some sugar into his
coffee and held the mil# can over it until the li9uid turned white.
6%idn5t you get enough mil# as a ay76 she teased.
'e laughed with her. She noticed his fingers. They were long! nicotine=stained! s9uare=
ti$$ed fingers. They shoo# $erce$tively. 6A nervous illness!6 he e)$lained! s$reading
his hands over the tale. 6'a$$iness -ust arely misses my gras$! you #now.6
Emma Gorrez said! 6Who has taught you to ma#e $retty s$eeches76
6And who has taught you to ignore 9uestions76 he as#ed.
6What 9uestion76
6When is %oming coming home76
The Sounds of Sunday
.?0
6I don5t #now!6 she said fran#ly. %oming had sto$$ed writing. The money came
regularly! twice a month. In the eginning! there had een notes! three or four times!
saying hello and as#ing if the #ids were well. +ut they had sto$$ed.
The money orders were reaching her now with nothing more than a cler#5s letter! ty$ed
neatly and s$aringly@ %ear "rs. Gorrez! Please ac#nowledge enclosed sum.
6We5re living a$art! ,ene!6 she said. 6Dor a little while! I ho$e. We had some*
differences!6 she ended lamely. She loo#ed at "r. ,ividad5s hands once more and
rememered %oming5s $alm against her face.
"r. ,ividad glanced at his watch and said! 6(orma will e here soon!6 They stood u$
and together waited on the sidewal# outside of %e 4u)e. There was the red Pantran!
easing itself into the $ar#ing lot across the street. 6She always comes home!6 he said.
It was two Saturdays later when they met again and Emma could not tell if it was y
design or not. 4i#e that earlier Saturday! ,ividad wal#ed in and Emma5s heart lifted at
sight of him. They saw each other in school ut there was no time to tal# and there were
always too many $eo$le. At %e 4u)e it was different. A $ulic eating $lace! in the heart
of town! five minutes away from the church $ul$it where Dather Tomas wee#ly
e)horted them to shy away from sin.
There was nothing wrong in sitting and tal#ing! several tales away from "rs.
Puray5s casho). 4ean one5s head against the hard wood of "rs. Puray5s grimy
restaurant wall! and tal#. +ring the coffee to one5s mouth! si$ and swallow! and tal#.
Tell of the usiness that went $h=f=f=f=t. Tell of city lights and city loneliness.
Tell of +ig "an! +ello! "ina the min). Tell of the stri#e! tell of Testa! tell of the oss5
6na$s.6 Tell of (avarro! eyond whom no treachery more terrile was $ossile*so that
when the time came to tell of her $arting from %oming! Emma s$o#e reminiscently! as
if she was telling the story! not of herself! ut of some old friends she had wished well a
long time ago.
6They had everything when they started! ,ene. 8outh! good loo#s! courage.
Where did all that go76
"r. ,ividad smo#ed 9uietly.
68ou rememer saying once! The sounds of Sunday -oy5. . . 76
'e nodded! smiling suddenly. 68es! ut there are other days in the wee#. And other
sounds.6
63h! no;6 she said! in moc# $leasure. 68ou are not wooing me! are you76 she as#ed
lightly
6And if I am76 he as#ed! matching her mood.
6(orma will e here soon!6 she said.
6I am not waiting for (orma this time!6 "r. ,ividad said 9uietly.
.?1
2$on 3ur 3wn Ground
It was not (orma he waited for on all the suse9uent days that he and Emma Gorrez
met in the restaurant. The last us from %agu$an would drive in& still ,ene ,ividad sat
glued to his chair! smo#ing interminaly! waiting for Emma to e done with her stories!
or telling some of his own. %id she ho$e to esca$e unscathed7
+ac# of her mind! a #nell sounded! foreshadowing anguish. Some affection was ound
to s$ill over! sitting with "r. ,ividad li#e that! tal#ing intimately with him! ut Emma
was summoned to that tale every Saturday at sunset y a voice stronger than her
wisdom.
'er sons would e in the $ar#! $laying! when she $assed them. 'air $ulled ac#! face
clean of $owder and li$stic#! she wore the sim$lest clothes to those meetings. She too#
a long! circuitous route! loo#ing in on every store on Tanedo! crossing over to 4una
Street for a leisurely=$aced wal# eneath the trees. +ut as soon as the sun was gone! her
feet too# her to %e 4u)e. With a will all their own! they ore her! des$ite herself! to
where "r. ,ividad was waiting. Sometimes! she fought the wish to see him.
%elierately! she sat on a ench in the $laza! telling herself it was not im$ortant if he
was there or not.
3ne day! she sat longer than she had intended. When she stood u$! it was evening. A
desire to wee$ $ossessed her. 'e had $roaly not waited! and it was an eternity to the
ne)t Saturday. She egan to hurry. At the second comer! she ran! forgetting everything
else. When she reached the lighted door of the restaurant! she saw him at the tale! a
sad! hurt! $uzzled loo# on his face. She ste$$ed in 9uic#ly and said! 68ou are here.6
6Would you have wanted me to go76
6(o!6 she said. It was a old thing to say& it was a $erilous thing to say. She felt her
defenses go@ such a rief word yet it stri$$ed her com$letely.
'e loo#ed at her. 6"ay I wait for you here on Saturday76
She did not meet his gaze.
6%ear Emma!6 he said suddenly.
6%on5t.6
6Em*6 he had never called her that efore. 6I would li#e to wait for you!6 he continued
softly! 6here! and in all the $laces you can $ossily thin# of! for all the hours life will
allow me.6
6%on5t do this to me! ,ene!6 she egged.
6Are you afraid76
6This is catastro$he!6 she said.
6Are you afraid76 he insisted.
She nodded dumly
64et me give you strength!6 he said.
The Sounds of Sunday
.?/
She loo#ed at him now. Dive years ago! as earnestly as now ,ividad leaned across the
tale! %omingo Gorrez had leaned across another tale! and $leaded as ,ividad
$leaded today. What had ha$$ened to that earlier love7 She had wanted that more than
anything else& she had wanted that to last ut it had gone ecause*she had tried too
hard! and %oming! too little7 <ould you #ill love with a surfeit of loving7 In the ha$$ier
days! discovering each other for the first time! %oming had s$o#en as gently as this
man@ 6Em!6 he had said once! 6your hands within my hands.6 Some $oetry he had
learned in college@ 8our hands within myhands are deeds& my tongue u$on your throat&
singing! arms close& eyes wide! undoutful! dar#! drin# the dawn*a forest shudders in
your hair;
Emma Gorrez let her head fall ac# against the wall. She closed her eyes. A tremor
shoo# her.
I wish I could cross over to the safer side of today! she thought. I wish I could go ac# to
the $laza! to half an hour ago! eneath the trees! in the thic#ening dar#! where I mused!
lonely! and afraid! ut not this afraid. This man as#ed me would I have wanted him to
go and I said (o! and it was li#e a dam rea#ing! li#e a wall giving way! and here I o
in the flotsam! not wanting to save myself. I am eing swe$t awash! the shore is near!
one ste$! and I am on safe ground! ut I do not wish to go ashore.
6And (orma76 she said aloud. 6Am I to e li#e (orma! after all76 she as#ed unha$$ily
68ou are not (orma!6 he said! 6there is a difference.6
6%ifference76 she as#ed.
6A ig difference!6 he said. 68ou are Emma. And : love you.6
They sat in silence! the cu$s etween them. Perha$s! I could love him! she thought. The
-u#eo) in the corner egan to sing softly. Perha$s! I love him already! she thought.
3ver the edge! ah; down the $reci$ice! and sweet disaster.
She had run away from violence only to meet it here in this 9uiet! em$ty restaurant!
with the electric fan whirring overhead! and "rs. Puray dozing near her casho).
The -oys of Sunday seemed far away now The licit sounds of ha$$iness had slid $ast
her. She had loved %omingo Gorrez with everything that she had een ut they had
een careless! and one $aid for carelessness li#e this*si$$ing coffee in e)ile! vulnerale
and tremulous ecause! in this wayward inn! someone had said a warm and tender
thing.