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Inner Directed
Ten keys to ne tune your gut instincts
ELESE COIT
Elese Coit 2012
All rights reserved
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ISBN 9781481237895
Category:Management and Leadership
BISAC: Business & Economics / Decision-Making &
Problem Solving
Part of the series
INSIDE OUT LEADERSHIP AND LIVING
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Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there and be guided by the truth as one sees it.
Mahatma Gandhi

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Table of Contents
Title Page ..................................................................... i
In Recognition ......................................................... iii
Table of Contents ......................................................... v
Forward by The Author ......................................................... vi
Introduction ......................................................... 8
Why Care? ......................................................... 9
What Is Inner Direction? ............................................. 10
Reflection: My Decision Making Style ........................ 11
Actively Recognizing Inner Direction ......................... 12
Reflection: How Aware of Inner Direction Am I? ............. 13
To Each Their Own .................................................. 14
The Ten Keys Intro ................................................. 16, 17
1. Rightness ..................................................... 18
2. Understanding .................................................... 19
3. Acceptance ..................................................... 20
4. Release ..................................................... 21
5. Alignment ..................................................... 22
6. Solidity .................................................... 23
7. Privacy ..................................................... 24
8. Constancy ..................................................... 25
9. Silence ..................................................... 26
10. Knowingness ..................................................... 27
Super-Simple Summary .............................................. 28, 29
Common Questions ..................................................... 30
Why We Dont Listen .............................................. 32
Reflection: What Are We Listening To ................................. 33
Some Misunderstandings ..................................... 34
Reflection: Thought-Feeling Connection ............................ 35
Two Assumptions About Thought .................... 36
Reflection: Where Does Thinking Come From? ...................... 37
The Most Common Question ............................... 39
The Unmistakable Moment of Yes ......................... 40
Reflection: Whos Talking and Whos Listening? .................. 41
Reflection: I Recognize My Inner Direction By .................... 43
Links to Photographic Contributors ........................... 46
About The Author .................................................... 48
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Forward by the Author
In the course of training, coaching and managing people as
they make big decisions for themselves Ive been asked many
times: How do I know when I have the right answer?
It truly has surprised me to notice just how many people do
not have an inner sense of what is right for them. I thought it
was just me.
I have to admit that I spent much of my life struggling with
life decisions, consulting logic and other peoples opinions. I
ended up confused and frankly, found it very difficult to be
able to tell when my own gut feel was leading me in the right
direction. I developed a mistrust in myself. I lost faith in my
own ability to guide my life.
It took me many years to realize that I had lost the
single most essential tool Id ever been given.
Common sense.
To use Inner Directedness is nothing more than simply using
personal inner reference points as information about what is
good for you and what is not.
You may already be expert at this. Certainly we all know how
to do this but, like me, you may have let yourself get trained
away from using it very often.
This is a particularly important area of development for those
who lead and manage other people. I have noticed that out-
standing leaders are inner-aligned, finely attuned to internal
direction. This sends a signal to others who sense their
aliveness, trustworthiness and ultimately their follow-ability.
Inner Directedness is a key leadership skill.
Theres no downside to using our own good sense. What we
decide to purchase, to do or not do for a living or to give or not
give our attention to, has an impact on the world and people
around us. The more out of alignment we are with ourselves
the more social, familial, political and commercial difficulties
result.
The way I see it, the more inner directed each person
becomes, the better our world becomes.
This book outlines ten qualities of inner direction that I have
noticed are always present when I am truly listening. These
are how I know I am on course with myself.
I have shared these with many people in the course of leading
global project deliveries, delivering management performance
trainings and coaching clients. They quickly learned the great
value of using their own built-in directional system.
What follows are ten very simple ways that may help you rec-
ognize and cultivate Inner Directedness for yourself. Youll
also find reflection questions and blank pages for taking
notes. I hope you find these helpful. Although, even without
any of this, inner direction is available to you right now. It is
already integrated into your personal human firmware.
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INNER DIRECTION: THE WHO, WHAT & WHY....
1. Why care about Inner Direction?
2. What is it?
3. Actively Recognizing it
4. To Each Their Own
Introduction

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Why Care About Inner Direction?
We dont make bad decisions because we dont have
good sense. We make bad decisions because we dont
listen to our good sense.
Great leaders, innovators and peacemakers have one striking
quality in common: they are inner directed. They hear and
march to a unique drum that beats inside. Gandhis quiet in-
ner knowing freed the Indian continent.
Many people struggle to march to their own drum. Under-
standably. There is so much conflicting information and so
many options to pick from. The menu is getting bigger and the
time to choose seems to be getting shorter.
We cope with a world in hyper-drive by multi-tasking, speed-
ing up and cutting corners, all the while ignoring what this
does to our lives and people around us. Or we may eat too
much, sleep too little and ignore whats really important.
Wed change this if we heard our sensible selves more clearly.
We have been highly trained at over-riding our inner good
sense. In fact it is not uncommon to be literally unable to
hear inner direction and as a result to end up stuck in indeci-
sion or facing avoidable situations. Great leaders reference
their inner senses often and powerfully in order to direct oth-
ers with clarity. You can use it as your best personal advisor.
The Inner Directed voice is the part of you that tells you
when you are on course or off course in any particular mo-
ment. Some people experience it as a sense or a feeling. And
yes, it can be confusing as you learn to tune in and be able to
tell for sure if its steering you right.
This book is intended to help you make a finer inner distinc-
tion between good sense and all the other stuff.
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What is Inner Direction?
Well-tuned inner direction is a very useful compass. In fact,
just knowing you have inner direction available to you tends
to free and relax the mind. Better decisions usually follow.
Leaders rely on natural good sense and gut instincts all the
time. They recognize subtle signals that distinguish a valuable
piece of input from an emotional reaction. They learn to tune
in and listen carefully to signals that are coming from the in-
side while still being engaged in what is happening outside.
Developing a strong inner listening ability helps you discern
between different kinds of feelings and conflicting informa-
tion. It is common for us to rely on the logic of the mind and
to be unfamiliar with the good feeling of inner directedness.
So give it time. It may challenge you at first, but the rewards
include greater authenticity, grounded authority and self-
trust. On this platform other natural and creative abilities can
flourish.
Having Inner Direction doesnt mean you will never make an
error of judgement again. It is simply an opportunity to be-
come familiar with a faculty youve already got. You can learn
to use it wisely or ignore its existence. It is up to you.
Think of it this way: we do not go to school to get intelligence;
we go there to use intelligence. Inner Direction is the same. It
is something you use, not something you get.
Basic disconnection with our inner world leads to all
kinds of conflicted behaviors. It is not much good having
this faculty if we recognize what is best for us only after
the fact.
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Reflection
MY DECISION-MAKING STYLE
Think of a decision you feel you need to make. Have you been
looking for your answer in any or all of these:
Your bank account
People whose opinions matter to you
Predictions of the future
Fears and emotions
Market analysis
Notice what has stopped you from making this decision so far.
Now call to mind a time when you made a decision that really
worked for you. Did you consult the above before or after you
knew what you would do?
Key Question: If a decision you made using your inner direc-
tion turned out to be wrong, would you stop consulting it?
Notes
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Actively Recognizing Inner Direction
To follow Inner Direction you must know it.
Imagine for a moment that you are at a restaurant with
friends. The server hands you the menu. Where do you look
to know what you want to order for lunch? The menu has
many options. How will you decide?
Ordering off a menu is a good example of how people already
use Inner Direction naturally. Everyone has some way of be-
ing able to tell what they are really hungry for (without asking
everyone at the table).
This natural knowing can be used everywhere in life. You
might prefer to refer to it as gut feeling, instinct or intuition.
Can you think of a time when you ignored a gut feeling? What
happened?
Getting to know inner direction means paying attention in
ways you may not have before. Dont assume you need a
quiet mind for this. Inner Direction can find you at any
time. As you become friends you will recognize its presence
earlier and more often. Recognizing its absence is equally
valuable, as that will alert to the fact you are making a deci-
sion before you are really ready to. Either way, you win.
So, how available is your gut feel when you most need it?
The reason why actively recognizing and using inner
direction helps us is that the more you know what it
feels like the more youll find it is right there when you
need it.
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Reflection
HOW AWARE AM I OF INNER DIRECTION?
Survey your world and see if you notice a difference between
some areas where you use gut instincts and others where you
tend not to. How often do you find yourself saying, I knew I
should have... When was the last time that happened?
Remember and write down a time when you heard your inner
direction absolutely clearly. Were you following it despite the
resistance or advice of others?
Take a moment to reflect quietly ...
When I know Im truly on track how does that feel to me?
Are there any patterns or qualities that are my own clear signs
of inner direction?
How do I know when it isnt there?
Key Question: The last time I heard my own gut, or good
common sense, how did I know I had heard it?
Notes
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To Each Their Own Inner Direction
Humans have a shared set of human capacities, but we are all
individual thinkers. Although we all have the ability to hear
our inner directedness, what we each hear is totally different
and unique. What is best for you is not best for another.
Inner Direction is specific to you and responds appropriately
to the moment you are facing. Your inner direction cannot be
hampered by any situation, no matter how difficult, any more
than someone can stop your mind from having a new idea.
Your inner response will meet each new situation as it arises.
Just as there are no impediments to hearing, there are no opti-
mal conditions for hearing best. Everyone can hear at any-
time including in the heat of an argument. You possess this
ability; its a matter of you getting to know yourself well.
As many entrepreneurs, leaders and creatives can tell you, the
advantages of recognizing and using your inner guidance are
immense. With all else being equal, gut feel has often guided
successful people to inexplicably choose the better business
partner, get skeptical about contract terms just in time, or to
pull out of a deal because it just didnt feel right.
Using personal Inner Directedness does not mean you will ig-
nore reality, hard facts and serious options, but it will let you
know whats happening within you as you go. Inner attune-
ment is your ally for business, for leadership and for life.
Inner Direction is specific to the person listening,
relevant to the moment at hand and on constant refresh.
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Notes
INNER DIRECTEDNESS IS RECOGNIZED BY:
1. Rightness
2. Understanding
3. Acceptance
4. Release
5. Alignment
6. Solidity
7. Privacy
8. Constancy
9. Silence
10. Knowingness
The Ten Keys
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Fine Tune Your Inner Direction
Make use of your natural human self-guidance system.
It feels good.
These Ten Keys to recognizing and using your inner directed-
ness will help you gain greater awareness of your human self-
guidance system, your inbuilt GPS.
People refer to Inner Direction by many different names: in-
stinct, wisdom, inner wisdom, inner guidance, the inner voice,
common sense, intuition, and gut feel are just some. These
may have connotations for you, negative or positive. Try not
to get too hung up on terms, which are used here as if synony-
mous. Think of this as an exploration that is pointing you to
something you are going to discover, describe and name.
It is very likely you will read these ten keys and realize you are
already using these or other signposts to gage whether you
are on track or off track, centered or uncentered.
The ten keys only describe what it feels like to be tuned in to
yourself -- what it can be like, that is, not what it must be like.
There is no attempt to tell you how you should feel or to cover
the specific content of your (or anyones) inner direction.
Coming to know ourselves better in this way can lead to much
greater self-assurance and does bolster our ability to handle
the ups and downs of life. It is like an internal muscle, but one
that gets stronger with a very different kind of exercise.
When human beings are listening and tuning in to
inner direction it feels very natural and very good
so, by way of contrast, each key has a counter-indicator called
a warning sign. This is the sign of moving away from Inner
Directedness rather than towards it.
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One
Rightness
Inner direction can be recognized by a feeling of Right-
ness. Rightness is not self-justification. It is not necessarily
rational, and yet it is not arrogant. Rightness is simplicity.
Like an exhale. Rightness is a knowing that has firmness and
lightness in it.
Look for rightness in the same place you look when you de-
cide what you want to order off a menu. It is the feeling be-
hind, Oh, Im having THAT for sure. Rightness is plain.
When it arrives you wonder how the heck you missed it.
Warning signs: Arrogance. Indignation.
photo: Jon Ovington
Two
Understanding
Inner Directedness always walks alongside understanding
for others. Understanding contains an awareness that oth-
ers may not see things the same way as you do or agree with
you. Humble and compassionate, it respects itself. It often
says It is this way for me and I understand why you might
not see it this way and really means it.
Inner direction never wants to dictate or rule over others. It
possesses a deep sensitivity to the fact that everyone else
also has their own personal sense of inner direction.
Warning Signs: Intolerance. People Pleasing.
photo: L.N. Batides
Three
Acceptance
Inner Directedness is accompanied by acceptance. This is
neither resignation (helplessness) nor passivity (powerless-
ness). The presence of acceptance is evident when tightly-
held positions and violent opinions are surrendered without
a sense of loss.
Very often a situation will not have changed, but when accep-
tance arrives things look different. Obstacles and pathways
get clear. You see what is there without rejection or repul-
sion. As scales fall, you see old landscapes with new eyes.
Warning Signs: Frustration. Impatience.
Photo: summerly noon
Four
Release
Release is the absence of attachment. Guided from a deeper
feeling, there is no sense of intellectual property. New ideas
are flowing. If there is a job to do its to be the flow without
thinking about it too much. There is no undue possessive-
ness about any particular outcome and the mind feels
opened, free and creative. Often solutions come to mind
that seem obvious, but that you had not noticed before.
You will discern being off track if a sense of stickiness or
pinching off arrives.
Warning Signs: Investment. Affront. Efforting.
Photo: Gary J. Wood
Five
Alignment
In Alignment there is harmony between body and mind.
There is no sense of pushing against. If there is movement it
is more like a pendulum swing that is simply coming closer
and closer to center balance.
As your ear for mis-alignment gets better your sensitivity
may heighten. Disharmony may seem worse. Whats happen-
ing is its less tolerable. A musician carefully tunes each
string before playing; think of yourself as the tuner and the
instrument.
Warning Signs: Indecisiveness. Body discomforts. Fidgeting.
Photo: Kevin Lawver
Six
Solidity
Solidity is something felt. Just as electricity must be
grounded, so for you. When yoga and martial arts positions
have solidity there is no wobble, imbalance or strain.
Solidity tethers us to center.
In solidity there is simply a resting place. In solidity we are
simultaneously flexible and oddly unmovable -- no matter
what comes at us. This occurs naturally, without taking up
arms or defensive postures. It is as if you grow roots from
your feet to the earth. A feeling of authenticity.
Warning signs: Defensiveness. Over-explaining.
Seven
Privacy
Inner Direction puts its attention squarely on and in you. It
is intimate and reveals you to yourself. It never says what
other people should do nor how to act upon others to change
them. As a result there can be a hesitation to divulge, explain
or share. There may be a sense of aloneness or being set
apart. This is an invitation to be with yourself.

Inner Direction arrives with the power to be carried into ac-
tion by you in the moment. It is a living thing and may need
your protection until it is fully formed.
Warning Signs: Seeking the opinions of others. Comparing.
Eight
Constancy
Constancy has a core of un-waver-ability. It is totally uninter-
ested in Pros and Cons arguments. Constancy makes all
the voices in favor and all the voices against fade away in a
distance. It is bigger than them and it is bigger than you.
It is not stubbornness, although it is likely to be very hard to
move you off your track. It can be difficult to say whats be-
hind such certainty; it just is. Constancy holds change in the
same way that closely mowed grass does, by growing back.
Warning Signs: Evidence Gathering. Pig-headed-ness.
Nine
Silence
Silence brings a noticeable absence of white noise. Some-
times a feeling of being or moving in slow motion.
There may be noise all around you and yet there is notice-
able quietness within. The senses feel less frenetic and al-
though the shrieking of the world may continue, you are ex-
periencing the calm internal weather. You are the eye of the
storm. Have others sped up or have you ratcheted down?
You may wonder what the fuss is all about out there.
Warning Signs: Overwhelm. Multi-tasking.
Knowingness is not know-it-all-ness. It does not fear the dis-
appointments of others and plans no preemptive attack.
It often arrives before the evidence does. Suddenly things
look obvious and going forward looks easy. It is not uncom-
mon to struggle to explain why this is so. There can be a feel-
ing of relief, as if only after cleaning the windows did you re-
alize how dirty they were. Knowingness is kind. It also sim-
ply refuses to go away. In fact, its a bit of a nag.
Warning Sign: My Way or The Highway. Chronic Illness.
Ten
Knowingness
Super Simple Summary
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INNER DIRECTION IS RECOGNIZED BY:
1. Rightness
2. Understanding
3. Acceptance
4. Release
5. Alignment
6. Solidity
7. Privacy
8. Constancy
9. Silence
10. Knowingness
Photo information can be found on page 38.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be
insane by those who could not hear the music.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Inner Direction is ...
Personal. You cant get inner direction for someone else.
Easy. It steers you with less effort once you get to know it.
Present. You recognize youve had it all along.
A Good Feeling. It does not include fear or stress.
Flexible. It responds to the moment of now.
Helpful. It brings clarity rather than more confusion.
Not complex. Its simply a clear sense of whats best for you.
Inner Direction gives you back your own mind. That can
mean you are set apart from the crowd. It may not please oth-
ers, but you will find you are standing on solid ground and
feeling much more like the person you know you truly are.
Becoming attuned to yourself is the best way to cultivate both
strength and compassion. You may find that honest and neces-
sary conversations start taking place. This is why being inner
directed is essential for leaders and managers. You may find
that the leaders you most want to emulate are already using
inner direction, although they may not articulate it this way.
What else have you noticed thats helpful? What questions
remain? There are more reflection exercises coming up plus
additional blank pages for notes at the back of the book.
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SOME THINGS THAT COME UP
1. Why We Dont Listen to Inner Direction
2. Some Misunderstandings
3. Two Assumptions About Thoughts
4. The Most Common Question
5. The Unmistakable Moment of Yes
Common Questions
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Each human being arrived with everything they need to
live life.
One very common concern about what would happen if every
individual started listening to and following their own north
star is the notion that businesses, families and the world struc-
tures would fall apart and that chaos would result. But is this
really true? Would following inner direction lead to more
greedy selfishness, or more enlightened self-interest? Is it
possible that the more people connect to themselves, the more
they experience connection to others and the planet?
Aware of interconnectivity, we do consider the impact of our
decisions on others. In fact, that is often the very reason why
we stop ourselves doing what we know to do! Ever noticed
how often following your own path ended up being the right
thing for all? We often look back to see it was for the best.
In addition, advancing and quantum science have radically
redefined our views of natural systems, system interaction
and our perceptions of chaos and control. In quantum physics
chaos has ultimate order within it, as a system of cooperative
individual elements each made of pure potential, expressing
perfectly in relation to one another. (Or something like that).
The kind of listening referred to here as Inner Direction is
integral to every human being in the same way that it is inte-
gral for birds to know how to fly and plants to know how
to grow. We came wired up this way in our human suits -- all
part of the bigger human system.
From this perspective maybe there is a very good chance that
what is built in to the individual is meant to work in favor of
the collective of individuals -- ultimately speaking.
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Why We Dont Listen To Inner Direction
Apart from just not being that familiar with hearing and using
our own inner direction, there are two very common reasons
people have for not using it:
fear of the reaction of others
fear of getting it wrong
It is very common to think about the ways we might make
mistakes, be disapproved of or rejected. Everyone can relate
to these types of thoughts passing through from time to time.
As a result, some people are continually fearful and guarded,
they may try to manage the reactions of others -- despite the
fact the event may not ever happen. The others we fear may
not even be around to chastise us. But they neednt be. The
voices of disapproval remain alive in our own minds via
thought. Those voices become free radicals scavenging our
good ideas and sabotaging our natural confidence.
It takes only the thought to immediately experience the emo-
tion connected to it, so it is important to get very clear on the
role of thought in our lives. In the next section, well explore
how thoughts and feelings are inextricably wired up. Well see
why Inner Direction helps us distinguish between truly
grounded inner decision-making processes and reactive ones,
such as emotional decision making and snap judgement calls.
To make this distinction well review some working principles
about the nature and functioning of human mental life.
The people whose disapproval you fear the most are not
the ones that live in your house, they are the ones that
live in your head.
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Reflection
WHAT AM I LISTENING TO?
Even when people ask for advice, they often dont take it. We
listen as if they will. We assume our answer will help. Have
you offered advice only to have it rejected? Did the person end
up doing what they had planned to do in the first place? How
do you interpret that?
Ever had an uncomfortable sensation while trying to follow
someones well-meaning advice? What does that say to you?
If you ask for advice but but tend to end up ignoring what peo-
ple tell you to do, why? Reflect on a time when you asked
someone what to do, while in your mind you had an idea of
what you secretly hoped they would say. What happened in-
side you?
What are you concerned might happen to you if you used
your intuition more decisively?
Key Question: If someone you respect and loved very much
advised you to do something and you didnt think it was
right, how would you know that?
Notes
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Some Misunderstandings
To listen to your own Inner Direction does not mean you will
stop caring about people. It does mean you become more lu-
cid. Clarity is a form of enlightened self-interest and it may
surprise you to find this draws greater cooperation your way.
If you are a leader you will find that people sense the authen-
ticity of your decisions. Even if they are wrong. As you listen
to yourself you find people listen to you. After all, if we can-
not tell what is right for us, how do we expect to lead others?
It may seem that we have no choice about how to act in many
situations. But the truth is that we are choosing what and
whom we are listening to long before we act. You may have
noticed this from the reflection on the previous page. There is
nothing wrong with consulting friends, advisors, parents and
experts. To do so with no self-referencing at all, however, can
leave us feeling lost, victimized and increasingly helpless.
If self-referencing is confusing it is because we mis-attribute
human feelings. We think feelings come from outside of us.
They dont. We feel our thoughts of fear and doubt, insecurity
and rejection just as we feel thoughts of empathy and caring.
We have a rich internal world via our own power of thought.
The more you understand this human thinking/feeling connec-
tion, the more you will be able to lean on your Inner Direction
for clear and reliable guidance.
You always have choice. But you can think that you
dont.

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Reflection
THE THOUGHT-FEELING CONNECTION
Can someone or something actually give you a feeling? If yes,
find an example and examine the mechanism by which the
feeling gets from the person or situation into you.
If feelings do come from things or events outside of us, why do
different people have different feelings about the same things?
Most people will say that vacations make them feel good. Ever
been on a vacation and NOT felt good? How is that possible?
What did that, you or the vacation?
How are you able to conjure feelings of sadness or upset when
nothing is happening to you and there is no one else in the
room?
Key Question: How might understanding the thought-feeling
connection be useful to you?
Notes
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Two Assumptions About Thoughts
Human beings are thinking beings.
No two people have the same thoughts about anything. It is
very common for two people to share an experience yet have
totally different emotional responses. Each will argue that
their version of events is true. But how can that be? It cant.
For this reason alone, it is important to pay attention to feel-
ings: Feelings track what you are thinking. Feelings tell you
about your quality of thinking -- with 100% accuracy. Even if
you are not consciously aware of a thought, you still can gage
the quality of thinking by what occurs in your feeling state.
But that is all feelings can tell you. Feelings (i.e. emotions) are
not telling you anything about the world outside you.
In this way, feelings tell how you are doing in relation to your
inner guidance. (Thus the Warning Signs). A mind rising
toward wisdom and clarity has a different quality compared to
when it is going downward toward negativity and concern.
Despite patterns of thinking, beliefs, backgrounds and the out-
side world, people have their distinctive thoughts. However,
nothing outside can stop someone from having a new thought.
You may notice that you have had new thinking occur to you
today. Maybe as you read this book. Since feelings follow
thoughts, you may well have heard that insight via the feel-
ing you had. Insight can be wordless, but always has a feeling.
1. No matter what happens to us, we always feel
whatever we are thinking in the moment.
2. No matter how badly you feel, you cannot lose your
ability to have a new thought in any moment.
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Reflection
WHERE DOES FRESH THINKING COME FROM?
Take a moment to relax and recall the last time you had an
idea that youd say came out of the blue. A moment of AHA.
A sudden realization, or a flash of inspiration when you solved
a tough problem, knew what to do next, or what to say.
Where were you? What were you doing?
Did you attribute your new idea or your solution to those
things? If you had your idea in the shower, did you start tak-
ing more showers so that you could get more ideas?
Why do people often tend to resolve a sticky issue or have a
breakthrough when they take the problem off their mind?
What happened the last time you tried very, very hard to solve
a problem by thinking about it a lot? Did that work well for
you?
Key Questions: Where do fresh ideas come from?
Notes
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It doesn't matter how difficult things have become on the out-
side, every human is able to see afresh (get a new idea) in any
moment. This means we are all able to hear inner guidance at
any time and no one can tamper with that. Not ever. This
doesnt mean you will always hear clearly, but it does mean
that you have the capacity to hear and that is undamaged.
Inner Direction is nothing more than a new idea occurring.
Being Inner Directed means understanding that at the heart
of the human being, fresh insight is a constant possibility. No
circumstance can stand between you and inner direction.
This is the true meaning of Potential.
The only reason we feel far from our inner guidance is that we
are highly conditioned to misinterpret our feelings, in general,
as coming from outside of ourselves. Its normal to seek an-
swers outside if you identify the problems as being outside.
If we misunderstand how thinking and feeling are connected,
it is very easy to misread our inner signals. Weve all done it.
Reflection, particularly quiet reflection or contemplation is a
very good way to beef up the discernment muscle. And as your
voice of Inner Directedness is strengthened, your ability to act
in relation to it is automatically fortified.
So, if nothing on the outside can prevent fresh new thinking,
how can a person improve their ability to recognize and take
direction from it? Do you need a clear mind? Should you
meditate or something?
Because a new idea is a constant possibility and because
ideas occur internally, people can experience sudden
shifts. We can have a change of heart, drop a grudge, or
get a solution to a problem -- whether or not anything
changes on the outside.
38
I have never met a person who cannot hear, only a
person who is listening to the wrong thing.
The Most Common Question
Once people realize that they can trust their own good sense
to guide them, most people want to know how to hear better.
Listening internally -- compared to seeking outside sources
and solutions -- is not the way most Westerners were raised.
So consider the possibility that there is nothing wrong with
your listening skills. The question is rather, what are you pay-
ing attention to and do you understand what it means?
If you dont pay attention to recognizable internal signals, you
may be unwittingly relying on acquired beliefs, theories and
unfounded fears to guide you. You will be relying on shifting
emotions or trying to resolve them, without the knowledge of
what generates your emotional state of mind in the first place.
Going inward doesnt mean youll never make a mistake ever
again or that you will hear clearly all the time. But you see im-
provement in hearing, especially if you continue reflecting.
Inner wisdom is practical. If you develop strong inner discern-
ment you can use it to help sift through information you do
possess as well as to guide you when you do not have enough.
It is a shame to have this capacity and waste it. Even as you
are weighing up options, doing due diligence or carefully calcu-
lating your financial forecasts it can be of great service to you.
It signals when youre in clarity of mind and when youre not.
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The Unmistakable Moment of Yes
This moment is really what each of the Ten Keys point to.
It is not always a loud moment. It is worth taking time to get
to know it better, to befriend it, cultivate and most of all, to
really make practical use of it.
To make your inner direction more a part of your life, recog-
nize it is already part of your innate skill set. As part of your
DNA, it is already working in you and with you. If you manage
or lead others, recognize they have this skill set as well. Once
you are using it, you can assist others to discover it.
Inner Direction is already whispering in your ear (and frankly,
shouting from the rooftops). It comes in many forms, colors,
sizes and shapes -- as many as there are human beings and as
often as needed. There is no limit to new thinking coming
through you or anyone. Moment to moment to moment.
When we hear it and heed it, it rewards us with a return to
authenticity. We feel alive again.
One thing you may notice as you begin to use Inner Direction
more widely is just how obvious your solutions begin to look.
So obvious, in fact, that they seem utterly natural -- as if they
occur without thinking. Cultivate your recognition of the per-
sonal feeling of Yes or variations on it such as Rightness,
or Quietness. Develop your own signposts. The Ten Keys
can be just the start.
The more Inner Direction becomes familiar to us, the
more easily we see the difference between personal
wisdom guiding us and fear guiding us.
This is how we become master decision-makers, leaders,
managers and parents.
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Reflection
WHOS TALKING AND WHOS LISTENING?
Most of us are used to checking in with how we feel -- mean-
ing we take input from our own emotional state. (This is how
we can feel like eating when we are physically stuffed.) What
changes for you now that you know that your emotional state
is a result of your own thoughts and no other factors?
To tune your inner focus you can ask yourself: "Where am I
checking in right now?" or Who says so?
It is a big assertion to say all feelings come from thought
alone. Does that seem true to you? Is there an exception, a
place where it looks like your thoughts have no relation to
what you are feeling? Are you sure? Investigate that area.
Notice if you get different answers when you come back to this
question at different times. What do you make of that?
Key question: What creates your own state of mind in any
given moment?

Notes
41
As children we used this natural discernment easily and with-
out any instruction on how to do it. Our imaginations ran free,
our desires were clear: Ice cream. Play time. Dont want that
right now. Hungry. Not hungry. More of that please...
We were in touch with inner direction without ever giving it a
second thought. No one sat us down and taught us about this.
It was completely natural to us. And although it still is as
adults, we did get trained how not to pay attention to it.
As we shaped into young people and adults we began to over-
ride our inner sense in favor of fitting in, pleasing others and a
host of other reasons. We began thinking:
"I can't do THAT."
"Art isn't a viable career.
And so on. Perhaps we put many of our deep desires to sleep
and ignored our own best advice at times and yet, new ideas
still keep on flowing. The source of those ideas continues
whispering to each of us.
How many of us would have saved ourselves a fair few trou-
bles if we had listened when we heard our inner wisdom the
first time around?
We will listen one day. The day we realize that it is fantastic to
be ourselves. And we realize it is what we appreciate in others.
You do not need to be different, more developed, more enlight-
ened, more evolved, more skilled or more intelligent to have,
to deserve or to hear your Inner Direction. It's in you now.
Are you listening?
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Reflection
I RECOGNIZE MY INNER DIRECTION BY...
Develop discernment through contrast.
Recall an easy decision you made. Take time to find this. A
marriage proposal? The University you chose? Find the un-
mistakable feeling of inner Yes! or inner No Way! Get famil-
iar with the difference. Tune into the difference often.
Notice when you ignore an inner directed feeling, as opposed
to ignoring a passing thought.
Notice the ways your Inner Direction comes to you. Use the
Ten Keys to strengthen this sense of recognition. Find your
own tell-tale signs by answering the question, How do I know
my Inner Direction is here? The recognition of it being here
as opposed to not being here is really all you need.
Key Question: How does it change things for you to consider
that everyone, including you, has an un-damageable capac-
ity for innate inner direction?

Notes
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Notes

44
Notes
45
Artistic Acknowledgements
With heartfelt thanks for generous permission to use their beautiful photographs:
Pg. 9 Jon Ovington Sky High http://www.flickr.com/photos/25969014@N06/3158794117
Pg. 10 L.N. Batides Saturday Safari Carnivore 285b http://www.flickr.com/photos/9105819@N04/635589765
Pg. 11 Summerly Noon Sky Shop http://www.flickr.com/photos/52945389@N00/225009501
Pg. 12 Gary J. Wood, Wet Maple Leaves http://www.flickr.com/photos/garyjwood/276683877/
Pg. 13 Kevin Lawver These Stairs Go All The Way Down http://www.flickr.com/photos/kplawver/2761849145/
Pg. 17 Anonymous
By the Author
46
The author, Elese Coit, is CEO of TrueChange Consultants, a business
management consultant firm to companies that recognize the impor-
tance of the people factor in sustainable business success.
The firm offers services to businesses all over the globe and can be
found on www.managementconsultingbusiness.net
47
xlviii
About the Author
Elese Coit is a business management consultant and human potential expert with a long career leading successful
business teams. She has held top posts in Telecommunications, IT, Web and Media FTSE 500 companies interna-
tionally including British Telecom and IMG Group. As a program manager, Elese delivered complex, business-
critical change programs across the globe. She headed the Program and Project Management Division for BT
Americas before becoming a business consultant and Chief Executive Officer of TrueChange Consultants (for-
merly Sustainable Change Consulting Group).
Elese uniquely combines a management results track record with the latest in human capital and talent development. She lives in
the USA and shares her passion and unique business experiences in her books and articles. Her company partners with organiza-
tions to help them release peoples full talents into their businesses -- training leaders and teams in the connection between Poten-
tial, Performance, and Human State of Mind.
Elese provides one-to-one personal coaching to leaders, executives and coaches when her schedule allows. She teaches advanced
transformative coaching at the internationally renowned Supercoach Academy. She is on the board of the national non-profit or-
ganization, the Center For Sustainable Change.
Elese is the author of a book on perspective entitled 101 New Pairs of Glasses which is being used as a teaching tool in training,
coaching and educational settings and can be found on Amazon, iBooks and iTunes, and finer bookstores.
Contact TrueChange Consultants for a Seminar, Workshop or State of Mind Assessment
Tel: +1 858 866 8049 (USA Pacific Time)
info@truechangeconsultants.com