You are on page 1of 3

ABITHAD - Another Blithering Idiot Thinks Hes A Doctor.

AMYOYO Syndrome Alright, Motherfu**er, Youre On Your Own


ADR Aint Doin Right.
AGMI Aint Gonna Make It
ART Assuming Room Temperature (recently deceased).
ATS Acute Thespian Syndrome (the patient is faking illness)
ATSWWT Always Thinks Somethings Wrong With Them.
CBT - Chronic Biscuit Toxicity for fat patients.
CNS-QNS Central Nervous System Quantity Not Sufficient.
CTD Circling The Drain. May also mean Certain To Die
CTF - Cletus the Fetus.
DAAD Dead As A Doornail.
DBI Dirt Bag Index multiply the number of tattoos by the number of missing teeth to give an
estimate of the number of days since the patient last bathed.
DIC Death Is Coming, Death In Cage used by veterinarians describing the complications of
Disseminated intravascular coagulation.
DRT Dead Right There.
EFT Eleventh Floor Transfer (in a 10 floor hospital; refers to patient who is very close to death)
ETK(T)M - Every Test Known To Man.
Faecal Encephalopathy - Shit-for-Brains
FDGB - Fall Down Go Boom.
FFFF - Female, Fat, Forty and Flatulent.
FF or FFY - Frequent Flyer A patient who returns to a medical provider for everything.
FLD - Funny Looking Dad.
FLK - Funny Looking Kid.
FOS - Full Of Stool.
FTD - Fixing To Die.
FTF - Failure To Fly.
FLGD - Familial lack of Genetic Diversity.
FTW - Friggin Train Wreck (patient with multiple problems).
GOK - God Only Knows.
GFPO - Good For Parts Only.
GGTG - Gomers Go To Ground (they fall out of bed or gurneys).
GLM - Good Looking Mum.
GOMER - Get Out of My Emergency Room.
GPO Good for Parts Only
GTO - Gomer Tip Over.

HP Hispanic Panic, used to describe a Hispanic patient who believes their condition is worse
than it actually is. This is generally a result of the perceived over-dramatic and theatrical nature
of many Hispanic cultures.
LGFD - Looks good from door.
LOBNH Lights On But Nobody Home
LOLINAD - Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress.
LOLTWO - Little Old Lady Totally Whacked Out.
MFC - Measure For Coffin.
M & Ms mortality and morbidity conferences where doctors and other health-care professionals
discuss mistakes and patient deaths
NAD Not Actually Done
NFS - Normal For Swindon.
O2T - Oxygen Thief.
ODD&DDR - Out De Door and Down De Road.
PAFO or PFO Pissed And Fell Over
PBBB - Pine Box By Bedside.
PGT Pissed and Got Thumped
PIP - Pyjama Induced Paralysis.
PITA - Pain In The A**.
PRATFO - Patient Reassured And Told to F**k Off.
PJAR - Person Just Aint Right.
PPP Piss Poor Protoplasm a patient endowed with inferior/defective genetic material
SALT - Same As Last Time.
SBI - Something Bad Inside
SNEFS - Sub-Normal Even For Suffolk.
SWAG - Scientific, wild-A** Guess.
TBW - Tossed By Wave.
TEETH - Tried Everything Else; Try Homeopathy.
TEON - Two Eyes One Nose.
TMB - Too Many Birthdays.
TOBAS - Take Out Back And Shoot.
TTGA - Told To Go Away.
TTR Tea Time Review
TUBE - Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination.
UBI Unexplained Beer Injury
UDI Unexplainable Drinking Injury
WDWNF - Well Developed Well Nourished Female.
WNL Used for recording vital signs. It can mean within normal limits or we never looked.
WTDB (Pronounced whiskey tango DB) White Trash Douchebag
6PFP 6-pack and a fishing pole, as in this patient doesnt need chemo, he needs 6PFP.
Usually referring to an end-stage patient who should go die somewhere else.


Etiology: Unknown.
Age of Onset:
Mostly teenage. Recent studies have shown that it may affect people of any age group.
Risk Factors:
The age itself is the major risk factor. Others include
(a) Co-education
(b) Cell Phones
(c) Movies
(d) Internet
of these the part played by the cell phones is noteworthy.
Pathology:
Multi-organ System Failure.
Clinical Features
Symptoms:
A) The most common presenting feature is throbbing pain in the heart often described by the
patient as sweet pain.
B) Loss of appetite.
C) Sleeplessness.
D) Daydreaming
E) Disinterest in any type of work. There is a danger of patient being transformed into a poet.

You might also like