VOLUME THREE

I S S U E 34
08. 21.14

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CBE' s Cor por at e Wel f ar e Deal | Ci t y Hal l , Goaded | Pi l e o' Mi dget s
VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 34
08. 21.14
PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE
SPRECHEN
BENCH
?
SIE
Benchfest, page 4
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BENCH
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Benchfest, page 4
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2 AD SALES 830.358.2493
table of contents
8
Citizen
Soundcheck
The ONLY gui de of i t s ki nd
for t he NB/SM Met ropl ex!
15
12
The County s
Most Wanted
Look Mommy!
Daddys i n t he paper!
Ask a Mexican
Gust avo of fends i n
t wo l anguages.
14
Line Crushers
Our NFL handi cappi ng cont est
i s back for 2014!
1st Word
Anot her mul t i mi l l i on-dol l ar
busi ness get s a t axpayer
handout court esy of 4-B.
3
Hot in the Kitchen
Our di va of t he di sh goes
al l French on us.
11
Ombudsman
Opa Karl i s al l ears and
ready t o bel i eve you.
Due Process
The Brawl at Ci t y Hal l
4
Sports
Grappl i ng, fun-si zed.
6
Sound Out of Town
Because Aust i n, San Marcos and
San Ant oni o occasi onal l y have
l i ve musi c t oo.
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TEXT TXC
to 313131
Me s s a g e & Da t a Ra t e s Ma y Ap p l y
C
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C
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T
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SPECIAL
DEALS!
Oh Hai! We
Remember Water!
San Antonio Water System
customers are still watering
their lawns once a week,
because they grabbed their
water out of the Edwards aquifer
when we werent looking and stuck
it into the Carrizo for safe keeping. SAWS
refers to this water as excess. We call it the
Comal River. If it werent for the City giving
up its right to sue to keep the fows at 200cfs,
as SAWS had a HUGE fear of us doing
(per former River Manager Nathan Pence),
we might have been able to restrict San
Antonio from pumping as much as it is from
the Edwards Aquifer. As it stands now, the
only thing preventing them from pumping the
Comal completely dry is an endangered fsh.
The Fountain Darter lives at the headwaters
of the Comal. Since the Darters only need
a 30cfs fow to survive, thats what SAWS
promised we get to keep, on average (which
means zero at times). It should be noted that
God wanted the fsh eliminated permanently
from the Comal after the 1950s drought, for
reasons of His own, but that plan was thwarted
as arrogant human hands reintroduced the
Darter to the Comal Springs back in 1975.
Perhaps our current dry spell is a sign that He
intendeds to fnish the job. Again.
File photo: The Comal Springs Fountain Darter
Anyway, here are your current fow rates,
as of press time:
Comal River, Old Channel: 51cfs
Comal River, New Channel: 33cfs
Mmm
Tasty Corporate Welfare
Last Friday, a copywriter at KSAT 12 about
had a ft of ecstasy over the fact that a
multimillion-dollar* company is coming to
New Braunfels, creating hundreds of jobs in
the fraud prevention sector. Sounds
pretty sweet, right? Well consider
this dismaying observation: Its
another freakin boiler room.
The fast-food of offce jobs.
In fact, the frm, CBE
Companies, Inc, is primarily
a debt collection agency that
will employ a small army of telephone
operators. As you may have noticed, New
Braunfels is fast becoming a magnet for the
prestigious phone bank industry ever since
4-B committed $1,000,000 to the Ibex
Global project (not to mention the millions
provided to The Scooter Store to keep them
from moving to San Marcos).
Fraud prevention sounds like serious
business compared to collections, and
something that might run on professional
brainpower. But in the end, CBE is just
another a phone bank operation. Imagine
rows of human veal fattening up in tiny
grey pens while trying to collect on past
due bills. Ah, the glory.
I get it. A jobs a job, and Im all for any
kind of work that the free market provides and
regulates. But this isnt the free market at work.
This is the City, through Chamber of Commerce
personnel, that actually went out and courted,
then paid off this company to bring its low
paying jobs into town, and used tax dollars to
do it. Ninety percent of the jobs this company
is bringing in will be paying less than Buc-ees
pump-wipes make, which puts them right in the
KGNB salary wheelhouse. Were laying out
over $600,000 in cash and prizes to bring
CBE into our fair city. The least the 4-B Board
could do is insist they jack up their base wage
to distract us from the downside. I mean, they
must realize by now that were going to run
the numbers on these deals.
According to New Braunfels Development
Coordinator Jeff Jewell, heres how the jobs
are to breakdown:
90 percent customer service,
at $10 to $11 per hour
10 percent management,
with an average salary of $53,000
Continued on page 7.
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Goad vs Camareno
The years-long acrimonious relationship
between David Goad and the City of New
Braunfels may be played out in the courtroom.
Earlier this week, Goad fled a lawsuit
against City Manager Robert Camareno
claiming that the city leader violated Goads
constitutional rights by banning the New
Braunfels resident from most City property.
Camareno sent a Criminal Trespassing
Notice to Goad on Aug. 8, which stated
that Goad was immediately prohibited
from coming onto any portion of any and
all municipal buildings, offces, appurtenant
facilities, and adjacent parking lots located
anywhere throughout the city, including but not
limited to: City Hall, City Council Chambers,
Honors Hall, any public common areas such
as the front lobby at City Hall and sidewalks
that border municipal buildings.
The notice goes on to say that the
trespassing order does not apply to city parks.
In his fling, Goad argues that the City
has no greater right to possession of public
property than he does. To ban him from public
property, Goad argues, requires complete due
process and the right to defend himself.
Camarenos trespassing notice stems
from an incident involving Goad and another
individual in an overfow room during a
Planning Commission meeting on Aug. 5. The
overfow room is used for visitors to City Council
meeting when the council chamber is full. The
room has a television that telecasts the meetings.
In an Aug. 10 letter to the City, Goad
stated that the altercation began when another
man in the room was talking loudly, which kept
Goad from hearing the Planning Commissions
meeting. According to Goads account, he
asked the man to keep it down. Goad said
the man became enraged, forcing Goad
to summon the police offcers on duty there.
Goad said the man hit him with a shoulder
to Goads chest. Goad stated that he returned
the attack with a jab to the mans chest. Goad
then summoned the offcers. Goad claimed
that after offcers spoke to everyone in the
room as a group, he was asked to leave.
However, according to Goad, the man who
began the confrontation was allowed to stay.
Goad said that he was out of the room when
the offcers spoke to the witnesses as a group, so
he didnt know what was said. Offcers asked if
he wanted to press charges, but Goad refused.
It was just a testosterone moment, he joked.
It was a young guy with a lot of testosterone
and an older guy with a little testosterone left.
Lt. Craig Christopherson, with the New
Braunfels Police Department, said that the
incident occurred when one of the men was
standing over the second. The second man
stood up, causing the two to brush up against
one another. This led the frst man to lightly
jab the second man in the shoulder.
Christopherson said the investigation is
still open in case either man wants to press
charges. Because the investigation is ongoing,
detailed information is unavailable for release.
Goad fled his suit against Camareno in
small claims court with the Justice of Peace,
Precinct 3. In his brief, he argues that if the
case was placed in a higher court, the court
will allow the attorneys to milk the Citizens of
New Braunfels out their hard earned money
and prolong this case for years.
Goad is asking for $10,000 in damages
and fees. He is also demanding a jury trial.
Acting as his own attorney, Goad argues
in his brief that Camarenos actions deprive
(Goad) of his federally protected rights,
furthermore, (Camarenos) actions are meant
to send out a clear message to anyone who
attempts to disclose information that is either
detrimental to, or alleges fraudulent acts on
the part of the mayor, city council, city staff,
inspectors, contractors, wealthy local business
persons, and or the 4B board.
Goad continues by stating that he is being
deprived of his federally protected right to
voice matters of public concern, but also the
deprivation of liberty and property rights
without due process by way of (Camarenos)
use of a Criminal Trespass Notice, clearly
never intended for such use.
A call to the Camarenos offce for
comment was not returned by press time.
Also in his brief, Goad accuses the City
and its personnel, Comal County, the State
of Texas, and Gov. Rick Perry of a variety of
illegal and unethical actions.
This is not the frst trespassing notice the
City has sent to Goad who, for years, has
made public accusations of what he says
are criminal acts by the City, its agencies
and various personnel. Two other previous
trespassing notices were withdrawn.
Nick Rogers covers courts and crime for the TX Citizen.
Due Process
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Continued from page 3.
Lets look a little closer at that management
number, as it isnt exactly what it seems.
According to the 4-B contract, CBE is required
to hire 57 management-level employees.
While the average paid to those employees
is set at $53,000 per year, the obligatory
minimum any of them are to receive is
$37,000. That means 56 managers can be
paid $37,000 each and one guy can get
$949,000 and CBE will remain in compliance
with the 4-B contract, because 4-B doesnt
look past its nose when drafting these things.
And why should it? Theres never a penalty for
incompetence in Texas Most Corrupt City.
Hey. How about some insult to go
with the injury? According to the contract,
CBE is encouraged to hire locally. Not
required to. Why anyone would include an
encouragement in a contract is beyond me.
Attention City Attorney: Encouragement is not
binding or enforceable.
Critical Thinking (Snicker)
Heres how Mary Phillips, CBEs Chief HR
Offcer used corporate-speak to describe
the customer service level jobs to KSAT, and
managed to leave one incomplete thought on
the table: Its going to be people in a contact
center environment, using their critical thinking
and decision making skills, along with their
customer service, uh, to make decisions on,
uh, whether a case might be fraudulent or not.
(Perhaps customer service skills is what she
meant to say. If so, she changed her mind when
she realized that nobody has those anymore.)
Anyway, wow. Thats a lot of responsibility
for $11 an hour. No wonder my credit cards
get suspended every time I drive into Louisiana.
Mr Reynolds, we noticed you bought gasoline
in two different states over the last few hours,
so we just put a little hold on your card so
youd begin to panic and eventually decide to
call in for help. Now if you could just verify, in
excruciating detail and reverse chronological
order, the last 11 charges you made, including
the reasons for those purchases and your state
of mind at the time, well get you on your way.
Please hold. I would like to think the person
who needs to use critical thinking skills to
determine if someone is committing a crime is
being paid a professional wage to do it.
Green Stands Alone
District One Councilman George Green was
the only member of City Council to vote against
the deal, and had this to say: It is great to
bring new jobs into NB but in my opinion it
should be jobs that help raise the standard of
living for our citizens; using our tax dollars to
do anything less is not accomplishing that.
According to HUD, the median family
income for a family of four is $61,300. Using
our tax dollars to bring in jobs that pays
$10.00 per hour working a typical 40 hour
work week with 52 weeks in a year fgures
to be $20,800/year gross. When you take
out taxes and other deductions it reduces net
income substantially. This does not help us
move up the socioeconomic ladder, it keeps
us down. I believe we can do better than that.
To further reinforce the point, a family
of four on that salary would be classifed by
HUD as Extremely Low Income. But hey, lets
face it. These deals are not intended to beneft
the community at large. Theyre meant to help
businesses avoid the, um, inconveniences of a
free market, keep those 4-B consultant contracts
intact, and beneft the Chamber of Commerce,
to whom multimillion-dollar businesses pay
hefty membership fees. And the City gets some
tax money, which youd think would keep taxes
down for the rest of us. It doesnt, as taxes were
raised three times last year. We are getting so
incredibly shafted. Enjoy.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
*Anytime somebody begins their pitch
of a business or industry with terms like
multimillion, you can be sure that hype and
manipulation are right around the corner.
Think about how many times youve heard
of various multi-level marketing operations
referred to as a multimillion-dollar company
in a multibillion-dollar industry. Its how they
hit the greed button right before they try to get
you to risk your money with them.
The implication is youll get a piece of
those millions or billions, and even the teeny-
tiniest, itsy-bitsiest sliver of that is a lot of
money, right? The reality is different, and
the marks for this kind of thing soon fnd that
theyve bought themselves into a low-income,
high-stress sales job that they most likely are
not suited for. Somebody at KSAT, and City
Hall, bought that pitch, because they work in a
bubble and thus the consequences for doing so
are non-existent. The rest of us dont have that
luxury. (But a gig like that does sound pretty
good. I could go for some slacking-off time.)
8 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Thu 8.21
Adobe Verde
Blake Powers & Fallon Franklin
6pm
Freiheit Country Store
David Selbo
7pm
Mountain Breeze Camp Ground
William Stewart
7pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Jam Night
w/ Wynn Taylor
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Junior Nash
5pm
Rileys Tavern
Big Red Drum Showcase
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
Jenna McDaniel
8pm
Gruene Hall
Midnight River Choir
7pm
The Pour Haus
Dillon Myers
7pm
Fri 8.22
Adobe Verde
Three Man Front
6:30pm
Black Whale Pub
Court Nance
9pm
The Happy Cow
The Shady Rest
8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Texas Terraplanes
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Jade Marie Patek
5pm
The Flamin Hellcats
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Last Honky Tonk Music Series
4pm
Tejas Brothers
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Alpine Haus Restaurant
Off the Grid Polka Band
6pm
Gruene Hall
Hayes Carll
w/ Matt Hillyer
7pm, $20
The Pour Haus
The Groovehounds
8pm
River Road Ice House
Mike & the Moonpies
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Jeff Vaughn
7pm
Vino en Verde
Jess Russell Duo
8:30pm
Sat 8.23
Adobe Verde
Old 300 Band
6:30pm
Black Whale Pub
Poor J Brown
9pm
The Happy Cow
Jimmy Spacek
8pm
Mountain Breeze Camp Ground
TBA
7pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Adam Johnson
1pm
The Fillmore Experience
6pm
Y
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8 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 9
Phoenix Saloon
Rick Sanford Band
w/ Dizorderly Konduct
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Tessy Lou & The Shotgun Stars
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
DunVille
9pm
Bubbas Big Deck
TBA
1pm
Gruene Hall
Hot Texas Swing Band
1pm
Hayes Carll
w/ John Evans Band
8pm, $20
NB Farm to Market
Chris & Judy
9:30am
The Pour Haus
Jeremy Steding Band
9pm
River Road Ice House
Mark McKinney
w/ Brian Keane, Haley Cole, Jordan York,
Brett Hauser, Emily Johnston, Michael
Kelton
6pm, $15
Vino en Verde
Jackson Parten
9pm
Sun 8.24
Adobe Verde
Jesse Stratton
6pm
The Happy Cow
T-Bone & the Bluetones
4pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Benny Harp Blues Band
2pm
Phoenix Saloon
The Groovehounds
3pm
True Audio Outland
7pm
Bubbas Big Deck
Rockaholics
3pm
Geronimo VFW #8456
Charles & the Fabulous Four
3pm
Gruene Hall
Bob Livingston
12:30pm
The Tejas Brothers
5pm
The Pour Haus
Larry Martin Sweeney
7pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Kate Bolcar
3pm
Mon 8.25
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
Gruene Hall
Bo Porter
7pm
The Pour Haus
Paul Eldridge
7pm
Tues 8.26
Watering Hole Saloon
Empty Handed Vagabonds
8:30pm
Billys Ice House
Austin Gilliam
8pm
Gruene Hall
Adam Johnson Band
7pm
The Pour Haus
Open Mic w/ Jon Magill
8pm
Wed 8.27
Phoenix Saloon
Mississhippie
8pm
Rileys Tavern
Mike Ethan Messick
9pm
Billys Ice House
Aaron Stephens
8pm
Gruene Hall
The Georges
7pm
The Pour Haus
The New Vagabonds
7pm
River Road Ice House
The Texas Jamm Band
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Zack Walther
6pm
SOUNDCHECK BROUGHT T O YOU BY:
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Single Origin Espresso and Brews
Handcrafted Blends Whole Bean Coffee
Pastries Breakfast Tacos Free Wi-Fi
The Gruene Grind Coffee Company is now
2348 Gruene Lake Dr. Suite B 830.643.1309
Collectibles
Old Advertising
Vintage Vinyl
Diecast Toys
10 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Fri 8.22
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Doug Moreland Band
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
Music Moves Mountains
9pm, $20
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Cowboys Dancehall
Tracy Lawrence
7pm, 21+ $10, 18+ $20
Floores Country Store
Jon Wolfe
w/ Gabe Garcia
8pm, 18+, $10-$12
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Ben Beckendorf
4pm
Almost Patsy Cline Band
8pm
Red Eyed Fly
Dead Things Dont Bleed, Sensational Fibs
9pm, Inside
The Minutes & the Miles, Blue Mandala,
Taiga, 86 the Sun, Bluster
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
T Bird & the Breaks
8pm, $10-$45
Stubbs BBQ
Seryn
9pm, Inside, $13
Sat 8.23
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Texas Renegade
w/ Pawn Shop Gold
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm
Jason Eady
w/ Adam Hood
10pm, $12
Gallery Lineup:
Hillary York, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
The Dirty River Boys
w/ Holy Moly
8pm, 18+, $12-$15
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Weldon Henson
1pm
Thomas Michael Riley
9pm, $10
Red Eyed Fly
Silence in Apathy, Residue, Mooncharmer,
Face the Lights, Beyond Fallen Shadows
9pm, Outside
R & J Music Pavillion
Mario Flores & the Soda Creek Band
9pm
Sams Burger Joint
Wood & Wire
w/ Sour Bridges
8pm, $10-$45
Stubbs BBQ
Tinnarose
w/ A Sinclair & Sweet Spirit
9pm, Inside, $8
SOUND TOWN
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OF
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Wedding Facilities Available
Never a Cover!
Kid & Pet Friendly!
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
Special Events Monthly
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities Available
Never a Cover!
Kid & Pet Friendly!
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
AUG 21
@ 6 JAM NIGHT w/ WYNN TAYLOR
AUG 22
@ 6 THE TEXAS TERRAPLANES
AUG 23
@ 1 ADAM JOHNSON
@ 6 THE FILLMORE EXPERIENCE
AUG 24
@ 2 THE BENNY HARP BLUES BAND
AUG 28
@ 6 JAM NIGHT
Upcoming Events:
BEST
OF THE
WURST
2014
double winner!
Best Beer Bar
& Best Bartenders
American Legion Post 179
DJ
Friday Nights, 7pm
Freiheit Country Store
Karaoke
Friday Nights, 8pm
Happy Cow
Karaoke
Thursdays Nights
Koozies Icehouse
DJ
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Old Ice House
Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays
DJ
Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
Karaoke
Thursday Nights
Prickly Pear Lounge
Karaoke
Thursdays, Saturdays
DJ KC
Fridays
The Watering Hole Saloon
Karaoke
Thursdays
DJ
Fridays, Saturdays
diversions
10 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 11
We penetrate 10,000 of these:
52 TIMEs a year
THEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE. MAKE SURE THEY SEE YOU.
ADVERTISE HERE 830.358.2493
Dear Opa Esel:
So it is Ofcial. TXDOT called
the Seguin Ave train bridge project
complete. To celebrate I took my wife
down Walnut Expressway to see the
road still not completed. We both
knew Walnut Expressway would not be
completed before the Seguin project.
BTW, the brown grass in the mini parks
looks lovely contrasted with the green
make-out benches. Tanks Gale!
Alan

Dear Big Spender:
First of all, I must say that your Mrs
is a keeper if shes content with a drive
down Walnut Avenue (also known as New
Braunfels Way of Woe). My dear wife,
Oma Esel, is much the same way. All she
ever asks for is the periodic replacement
of the weft or the heddles for her loom.
She also asks for the blood of her eternal
enemies. Im not sure what this means, but
I think shes referring to a lingering ancient
feud that goes back to the Old Country. I
dont ask because she frightens me when
shes like that.
As to the subject of your letter, the Seguin
Avenue project was indeed completed before
the Walnut project. I am impressed by your
precognitive skills. They are good, but not
uncanny. After all, predicting that Seguin
Avenue would be fnished frst is kind of like
predicting whether the City of New Braunfels
will appeal a lawsuit.
I, too, was surprised by the completion of
the Seguin Avenue project. Not two weeks
before its completion, I was trying to leave a
business near the railroad underpass and was
there for three days. I had to eat bugs and
collect morning condensation to survive, just
like in the old days.
Then BAM! the projects done.
This makes the Walnut fiasco all the
more aggravating because it shows that,
with the right effort, a street project can
actually be completed in good time and in
good fashion.
However, to be fair, the Seguin Avenue
project didnt have any mini parks attached,
although it does sport an unexplained
stretch of artifcial turf. What the hell is that
all about?
I am glad you were able to visit one of
the 300 mini-parks that were built alongside
Walnut. They are there for your enjoyment.
Nothing says family more than kids playing
alongside a busy and dangerous thoroughfare.
But the City did take some precautions by not
cluttering the parks with shade trees so the kids
can see the cars coming as they run out onto
Walnut to retrieve their skateboards.
I do sincerely hope, however, that when
you and your wife visited one of the 700
mini-park benches, the two of you didnt
copulate. Thats why there are signs in the
parks that read, in big letters, No Littering,
No Copulating. The City takes a dim view of
copulation. There are laws against that. If you
and your wife wish to copulate in the privacy
of your own home, thats fne, as long as you
fle for and receive the proper city permits.
Still, despite the frustration we all share
with the Walnut situation, it is still an enormous
improvement from the old days. Not even a
century ago, roads were made from mud and
bones. A trip to Seguin, for example, would
take a year and a half (in good weather). The
trips were harsh and if someone died on the
journey, they became part of the road. Indeed,
one of the main causes of delay in the Walnut
project has been in the complicated process
of replacing the old bones with newer, more
weather resistant bones.
Opa Esels Fun Fact: The word road
derives from the Latin word rode, which
means to gnaw. I am not sure how the two
words link together, but seeing how there
are no more Latinese, we will probably
never know.
Liebe,
Karl
Got a concern? Opa Karl Esel is here to help, or
at the very least, comisserate. Send your rants to
opakarl@txcitizen.com.
with OPA Karl Esel
367 Main Plaza
830-625-6605
Local Brews
Belgian Beers
Imports
24 Beers on Tap
Full Bar
Live Entertainment
30+ TVs
100%
SMOKE-FREE
100%
SMOKE-FREE
BEST
OF THE
WURST
2014
winner!
Best Bloody Mary!
Best Damn Lunch Special
in New Braunfels!
12-4 Monday-Friday
$6.99 Lunch Specials
Specials Include Drink and Side
830.620.9091 www.scoresnb.com
223 W San Antonio St, Downtown New Braunfels
Live Trivia Tuesdays
7:30 - 9:30
50 Cent Wing Wednesdays
NFL Ticket + SEC Network!
Dartslive
Two New Pool Tables
Texas A&M vs
South Carolina,
Thursday, August 28
at 5pm!
12 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Readers: The Mexican just got
married to a chica caliente, so hes taken her
on a honeymoon to the motherland so she can
learn the proper art of tortilla-making. In the
meanwhile, I offer this Best Of edition, because
I plan to do all of my work this week en la
camaZING!
Dear Mexican: Te last two movies
I attended were rated R. Sitting around
me were Mexican families with very
young children. Why do Mexicans bring
their 8-year-old kids to see a movie like
Hostel? Do Mexican parents just not
give a #### or can they not aford a baby
sitter? Plus, the Mexicans let their kids
kick my seat.
Confused Moviegoer
Dear Gabacho: The only sin I see here is
anyone forking over cash to watch Hostel, the
2005 horror turkey whose main claim to fame
was casting handsome wab Jay Hernandez
as a character with the retre-gabacho name
Paxton. As for your question, the Mexican
refers you to the late New Yorker flm critic
Pauline Kael, who famously quipped, The
words Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which I saw
on an Italian movie poster, are perhaps the
briefest statement imaginable of the basic
appeal of movies. Nowhere is that nugget
more applicable than with Mexicans.
Mix gore, boobs, popcorn and the
occasional midget or gay guy, and you can
occupy a Mexican for two hours. See, violence
and Mexican cinema go together like refried
and beansits been one prolonged shootout
that started with the 1919 silent classic El
Automovil Gris (The Grey Automobile, which
dramatized the real-life exploits of Mexico
Citys murderous Grey Automobile Gang and
included actual footage of their execution),
continued through the urban dramas of
the 1950s and various 1960s sci-f/Aztec
mummy/lucha libre superhero follies, and
reached its zenith with narcopelculas (drug
dramas) that Spanish-language television
channels have broadcast without pause for the
past three decades.
The Mexican love for flmic blood isnt
a pathological cultural trait, though: as any
Hollywood executive will tell you, violence
is a universal tongue that needs no subtitles.
Thats why Mexican parents take their kiddies
to see such flmsas the children become
Americans and the parents remain stuck in
remedial English classes, sometimes the only
way to communicate is to speak the language
of Charles Bronson. And the kid behind you?
Just practicing his Death Wish moves so he
can kick your ass.
Dear Mexican: Why do you people
stink?
Zestfully White
Dear Gabacho: Same reason you dont:
hard work.
Dear Mexican: Whats up with all
the elaborate wrought-iron fences in the
Mexican parts of town? It almost seems
like everyone is trying to outdo each
other with these amazing displays of
metallurgy. Is it just another way to try
to protect the cars parked on the lawn
and keep the livestock from wandering
of, or is it a pathway to instant respect
and envy among the neighbors?
WHrought Iron To Envy (WHITE)
Guy
Dear Gabacho, This is a question
that fascinates even sociologists. At The
Latinization of American Culture, a weeklong
seminar held in 2005 by the USC Annenberg
School for Communication, UCLA professor
David Hayes-Bautista showed pictures
of wrought-iron fences to describe what
gabachos can expect when Mexicans move
into their neighborhoods. But you can fnd the
answer on the United States-Mexico border,
WHITE: fences. Miles and miles of American-
made fences. Triple-layered. Jagged. Deadly.
Thats our introduction to American society
when we enter los Estados Unidos.
All Mexicans want to assimilate, so
fences are usually the frst thing we erect
once we buy a casa: pointy, menacing bars
wrapped with organic barbed wire like
bougainvilleas or roses to keep the damn
Mexicans at bay. And stillas evidenced by
the lemons stolen from my front lawn every
nightMexicans jump them.
Ask the Mexican at
themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
!
MOST WANTED
$300
REWARD
COMAL COUNTY S
MEDELLIN, JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
Male 507 200 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
CHARGE: Possession
of a controlled
substance pg 1 under
1 gram and theft of
property under $1500
with 2 or more
previous convictions
HALL,
LANDRY PATRICK
Male 511 260 lbs
DOB: 10/13/1994
CHARGE:
Manufacture/ Delivery
controlled substance
HOMAN,
DANIEL KEITH
Male 511 240 lbs
DOB: 03/02/1954
CHARGE: Violation of
conditions of a
probation- possession
of a controlled
substance
LEWIS,
LYLE RAY
Male 511 185 lbs
DOB: 08/31/1985
CHARGE: Bail
jumping and fail to
appear felony
BAKER,
DANIEL JUDSON
Male 510 160 lbs
DOB: 06/11/1985
CHARGE: Two counts-
Theft of property under
$1500 with two or
more previous
convictions/ enhanced
PERRY, MARK
BRANDON
Male 600 160 lbs
DOB: 01/09/1994
CHARGE: Motion to
proceed with
adjudication- tamper
fabricate physical
evidence with intent
to impair
PIZZINI,
NICHOLAS
GIOVANNE
Male 604 215 lbs
DOB: 08/28/1970
CHARGE:
Bail jumping and
fail to appear
STEWART,
MICHAEL
JOSEPH-LESLE
Male 504 160 lbs
DOB: 11/22/1988
CHARGE: Failure to
appear/ delivery of a
controlled substance
WILKINSON,
JUSTIN LINCOLN
Male 509 160 lbs
DOB: 01/05/1981
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation for
driving while
intoxicated 3rd or more
SHADOUH,
TRACY ANN
Female 504 183 lbs
DOB: 01/29/1984
CHARGE: Bail jumping
and fail to appear
felony/ Failure to
appear- manufacture
delivery of a controlled
substance
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday 18, 2014 at 9:47 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do
not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriffs Office
and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making
an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL
COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.
830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
BERNER,
JOLEN GLENN
Male 504 150 lbs
DOB: 01/18/1981
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke- burglary of
habitation with intent
to commit theft
A
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TXCITIZEN.COM 13
Come see us at
5000 Old Hwy 81
in New Braunfels
830-632-5627
GreenTree
Apartments
AFFORDABLE
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1 Bedroom only $499!
2 Bedroom $600-$680!
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215 S. Seguin Downtown NB 830.620.9188
Join us for Breakfast,
Lunch & Dinner!
w w w. o l i v e s i t a l i a n ma r k e t . c o m
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8am to 10pm
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the way you want it.
830.609.WINE
water2wine.com
185 S. Seguin Ave
Downtowns Custom Winery
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Space Available!
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includes utilities,
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14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 15
The 2014 Season Begins September 4!
Watch this space for this seasons locations,
and get ready to CRUSH the LINE!
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TXCITIZEN.COM 15
On August 15, my hero and inspiration, Julia Child, would have celebrated her 102nd birthday.
The great chef and author of Mastering the Art of French Cooking and My Life in France kept
me glued to her cooking show on TV as a little girl when I was not sitting on the kitchen foor
reading my moms cookbooks. I normally present you with an original recipe; however, this week,
I pay tribute to The Master Chef who once said, The best way to execute French cooking is to get
good and loaded and whack the hell out of a chicken! So, with wine glass in hand, I give you
Supremes de Volaille aux Champignons
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast (supremes de volaille)
tsp lemon juice
tsp sea salt
Pinch of white pepper
5 tbls butter
1 tbls minced shallots or diced green onions
lbs sliced fresh mushrooms (champignons)
1/8 tsp sea salt
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Rub the chicken breast with lemon juice and lightly sprinkle
with sea salt and white pepper. Heat the butter in a heavy, oven-proof casserole dish, about 10
inches in diameter, until it is foaming. I used a cast iron Dutch oven pot. Stir in shallots or green
onions and saut a moment without browning. Stir in mushrooms and saut lightly for a minute
or two without browning. Sprinkle in sea salt.
Add the chicken breast to the butter mixture and coat. Cover with lid and place in oven for
30-40 minutes or until internal temperature is 165 degrees or slightly higher. Remove chicken
breast and place on a plate. Leave all other ingredients in the baking dish or pot.
To make the cream sauce you will need:
cup beef stock
cup white or Chardonnay wine (drink the rest)
1 cup heavy whipping cream
Lemon juice with sea salt & ground black pepper to taste
2 tbls fresh minced parsley
Pour stock and wine in the casserole or Dutch oven with cooking butter and mushrooms.
Boil down over high heat until liquid is syrupy. Stir in the cream and boil down again over high
heat until cream has thickened slightly. Turn off heat. Add a few drops of lemon juice. Taste and
season with salt and pepper as needed. Pour mushroom cream sauce over chicken breast with
rice or noodles if desired. Serve with your favorite cooked green vegetable.
In the departing words of Julia Child; Toujours Bon Appetit.
Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!
Sherri
Source: Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Vol. 1 by Julia Child (Knopf, 1961).
Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of
8. This summer Chef Sherri will be sailing on the M/V Liseron which sails weekly from Sitka to Juneau, Alaska. On board,
Chef Sherri will be preparing breakfast, lunch, dinner, happy hour hors doeuvres, and cocktails for her 20 passengers and
crew, so get ready for some amazing new recipes! Chef Sherri can be contacted at eatdrinkandbesherri@gmail.com.
Hot in the Kitchen
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with Sherri Gallagher
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FREE CONSULTATION!
123 N. Seguin Ave, Suite 208
New Braunfels, Texas
830-515-2119 JVelaLaw@gmail.com
F e l oni e s
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Traf f i c ti cke ts
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243 N. Union Ave
830-629-2662 Like us on
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and Turntables
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BUY S E L L T R ADE
Half-Off One Entree
with purchase of another entree and two drinks.
One coupon per table. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Expires 8/31/14
Huge Play Area for the Kids Live Music Thursday-Sunday
Happy Hour Monday-Friday 3:00-6:30pm
830.629.0777 1724 Hunter Road, New Braunfels
TEX-MEX COCINA Y CANTINA
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DLeeEdwardsRealty.com 1111 N. Walnut Ave. New Braunfels, TX 78130
Call our AWARD WINNING TEAM! 830.620.7653