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THE MIND UNLEASHED on 18 July, 2014 at 22:44
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7/21/2014 9 Good Signs That You' re In The Right Relationship | The Mind Unleashed
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Its not always where you are in life, but who you have by your side that matters.
How do I know if Im in the right relationship or not?
This is one of the most common questions our coaching clients ask us. And after Angel and I listen to the specifics of their situation, we often toss
a question back at them to further clarify their thoughts and expectations. For instance:
What do you think a right relationship should provide for the people in it?
Although the answer here is obviously subjective, in all relationships, romantic and platonic alike, there are some clear signs that things are going
well. So today, lets take a look at some signs youre in the right relationship, and corresponding tips that could potentially help you make a
wrong relationship right:
1.NOGAMESAREBEINGPLAYED.
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If you are still eating McDonald's french
fries, or you have a friend that does that
you care about, you should probably
watch this:
Before you Eat Another
7/21/2014 9 Good Signs That You' re In The Right Relationship | The Mind Unleashed
http://themindunleashed.org/2014/07/9-good-signs-youre-right-relationship.html 3/9
Far too often, we make our relationships harder than they have to be. The difficulties started when conversations became texting, feelings
became subliminal, sex became a game, the word love fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living,
jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution. Stop running! Face these issues,
fix the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive and LOVE the people in your life who deserve it.
And of course, if you feel like someone is playing games with you, speak up.
2.EVERYONEISONTHESAMEPAGE.
If a woman starts out all casual with a man and she doesnt tell him that she wants a
committed relationship, it will likely never become a committed relationship. If you give
someone the impression that casual, or whatever, is okay with you, thats what will be
assumed going forward. The bottom line is that you have to be straight from the start, or at
least as soon as you know what you want. Dont beat around the bush. If someone gets scared
and runs away because you were honest and set boundaries, that person wasnt right for you
anyway.
3.THELINEOFCOMMUNICATIONISOPEN,HONEST,ANDCLEAR.
You cant be afraid to have certain conversations. Its better to talk and find out the truth, than to keep going and get nowhere. Say what you mean
and mean what you say. Dont expect the important people in your life to read your mind, and dont play foolish games with their heads and
hearts. Dont tell half-truths and expect them to trust you when the full truth comes out half-truths are no better than lies.
Listen without defending and speak without offending. Communication isnt just an important part of a relationship, it is the relationship.
Relationships often fail because of trust issues, commitment issues, and above all, communication issues. So be honest, commit, and
COMMUNICATE always. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
4.LOVINGDEEDSCONSISTENTLYREINFORCELOVINGWORDS.
Nurture your important relationships so that when you tell the people you love that you love them, its merely a ritualistic validation of what you
have already shown them by how you treat them on a daily basis. Do little things every day to show your loved ones you care. Knowing that the
person youre thinking of has you on their mind too means a lot.
Truth be told, you can say sorry a thousand times, or say I love you as much as you want, but if youre not going to prove that the things you say
are true, they arent. If you cant show it, your words are not sincere. Its as simple as that. And theres no such thing as a right relationship that
isnt sincere at both ends.
5.EXPECTATIONSOFPERFECTIONARESTRICTLYFORBIDDEN.
Any relationship thats real will not be perfect, but if youre willing to work at it and open up, it could be everything youve ever dreamed of.
Your best friends and your soul mate may be far from perfect, but they are a perfect fit for you. Give them a chance to show you. When you stop
expectingthe people you love to be a certain way, you can start to enjoy and appreciate them for who they are. What you need to remember is that
every relationship has its problems, but what makes it perfect in the end is when you wouldnt want to be anywhere else, even when times are
tough.
6.HONESTY,VULNERABILITY,ANDPRESENCEAREHELDSACRED.
Although it may sound risky, the strongest type of love is the love that makes you the most vulnerable. Its about daring to reveal yourself
honestly, and daring to be open and fully disclosed over the long-term. Its about sticking by each others side through thick and thin, and truly
being there in the flesh and spirit when youre needed most.
So open yourself up. BE with the person you love. Allow yourself to experience them authentically. Tear down any emotional brick walls you
have built around yourself and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad. This is real life. This is how you welcome a sincere connection
with another human being. (ReadDaring Greatly.)
7.THEREISAHEALTHYBLENDOFFREEDOMANDTEAMWORK.
Keep in mind that we cant force anyone to be with us or love us. We shouldnt beg someone to stay when they want to leave. And likewise, we
should never feel trapped in a relationship. In fact, if either person feels trapped, the relationship doesnt really exist. Because thats what
relationships are all about: freedom.
Relationships are also built on a solid foundation of teamwork. And since relationships are one of the greatest vehicles of personal growth and
happiness, the most important trip you will ever take in life is meeting someone else halfway. You will achieve far more by working with them,
rather than working alone or against them. It really is a full circle. The strength of a relationship depends on the strength of its two members, and
the strength of each member in the long run depends on the quality of the relationship.
And remember, relationships are rarely 50/50 at any given instant in time. You cant always feel 100%, or a full 50% of a relationships whole
life is simply too unpredictable for that. So on the days when you can only give 20%, the other person must give 80%, and vice versa. Its never
been about balancing steady in the middle; healthy relationships are about two people who are willing to make adjustments for each other in real
time as needed, and give more when the other person cant help but give a little less.
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7/21/2014 9 Good Signs That You' re In The Right Relationship | The Mind Unleashed
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CATEGORIES HEALTH INSPIRATIONAL
8.PERSONALGROWTHISEMBRACED,CELEBRATED,ANDSHARED.
Its not about finding someone to lose yourself in, its about meeting someone to find yourself in. When you connect with someone special, a best
friend or a lifelong partner, this person helps you find the best in yourself. In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other; you
both grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each others growth.
When you honestly think about what you and your closest confidants add to each others lives, you will often find that instead of giving or taking
things from each other (advice, answers, material gifts, etc.), you have chosen rather to share in each others joy and pain, and experience life
together through good times and bad. No matter what, you two are there for one another, growing and learning as one. (Read The Mastery of Love
.)
9.OUTSIDERSARENTCALLINGTHESHOTS.
Relationships dont always make sense, especially from the outside. So dont let outsiders run your relationships for you. If youre having a
relationship issue with someone, work it out with THEM and no one else.
You have to live your own life your own way; thats all there is to it. Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for certain people. Its your duty, and
yours alone, to decide if a relationship is right for you. Youve got to stop caring so much about what everyone else wants for you, and start
actually living and deciding for yourself.
THEFLOORISYOURS
In your experience, what are some good signs youre in the right relationship? Any other relationship tips youd like to share? Leave a comment
below and share your thoughts.
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Add a comment 89 comments
Lynn Barton
so true after 48 years I still have my best friend and partner
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:06am
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122
Hitesh Bhardwaj Top Commenter Psychonaut at AStte Of Trance
Kudos to you :)
Reply Like July 19 at 1:16pm
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14
Pitt Ripply Class of Nuke 'em High
Your Dog?
Reply Like 23 hours ago
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24
Marnie Towers SPS/SPN-Personal Trainer/Fitness Instructor at Woodstock Fitness &
Racquet Club
Wow! I hope we reach a long relationship like that! :) xo
Reply Like 22 hours ago 1
Melode Mariner Pacific Oaks College
Emotional safety is such an integral gift to each other. All kinds of amazing things happen within a
home that is a safe space to be who you are.
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 6:11am
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75
Lisa Fenton Free
Your thinking is so intriguing to me. cool.
Reply Like July 19 at 6:50am 9
Nita Lightell Top Commenter Palmer, Alaska
so very true, Melode
Reply Like July 19 at 10:57am 3
Cath Bruyning Top Commenter Teacher at Metaphysics
I like your comment so much I made it my statusupdate this morning. :-)
Reply Like 15 hours ago
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2
Phil Anderson
Too many people are in relationships just because they need to be with someone! Not because
they love that someone!
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 7:11am 66
Teri Wetherell Cudaback Omaha Benson High School
That all depends.
Reply Like July 19 at 7:40pm 1
Curtis Higginbotham Head Inventory Sniffer at Amalgamated Turd Polishers, Inc.
Don't simply allow the other person to be who they are, do your best to share in who they are. For
example, I love cars and I am a mechanic. My wife had very little interest in such things, but she
helped me restore my old ford truck just to share the experience. She really made an effort to get
dirty right next to me, and she ended up being a very significant part of the project. She had a blast
with me all summer! Likewise, I was never into horses much but my wife loves them. So, I got her a
horse and set it up at a boarding facility, and I spent all summer with her riding it and training it and
working with it in the round pen. Not only did we grow closer every day but I ended up with a new
passion for horses I had never even imagined before! The point is, even if you think you might hate
your partner's hobbies, try and take ... See More
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 3:00pm
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63
Shane Keith Texas State University
Good post...and good luck with that job
Reply Like July 19 at 7:48pm
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3
Stacy Easter Oklahoma City Community College
That is the perfect way to describe that. Perfect, sometimes you have to forgive because
your relationship is more to you than the fight. Some times you just have to swallow your
pride. Don't forget to say I love you, a hug, and a goodbye every time each leaves. Things
happen and you don't know if you'll ever see that person again...
Reply Like 7 hours ago 1
Ruth Warburton Gateshead College
6 years and still going strong with my gf :-) xx
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 6:56am
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27
7/21/2014 9 Good Signs That You' re In The Right Relationship | The Mind Unleashed
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Terje Haaje Myhre Top Commenter
Kudos :-) Nice to hear
Reply Like July 19 at 5:09pm 1
Kelley Jean Top Commenter Orange Coast College
You have to be willing to lose.
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:37am
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Shane Keith Texas State University
lose what?
Reply Like July 19 at 7:43pm
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3
Kelley Jean Top Commenter Orange Coast College
Shane Keith - the relationship. I mean you can't be afraid to be yourself and speak your
mind for fear the relationship will break. I know a lot of people who don't speak their mind
because they're afraid to lose the relationship. If it's meant to break it should break -- if
it's meant to be it will just get stronger. But you have to be willing to lose.
Reply Like July 19 at 9:20pm
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42
Shane Keith Texas State University
Kelley Jean Gotcha, Now I understand. Thx for the reply.
Reply Like July 19 at 9:43pm
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2
Audrey Davies Manchester Road County Secondary School, Leigh
great advice but hard to do if only one of you is trying :-(
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 1:48pm 17
Lisa Heapy Sefton High School
Of you can be a whole person and love yourself it is then easy to take those feelings into a
relationship
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:22am 17
Luke Mitchell Administration Assistant at Landcorp
It's the hardest thing but especially true when you go through a breakup as well. Going
through a bad one can hurt and cripple your self esteem for a while but you do have to
learn to love yourself again so then you are ready for the next relationship.
Reply Like July 19 at 6:30am 46
Kindall Patrice Davis University of Memphis 155 followers
One thing I learned being with my boyfriend is that you have to want each other more than you want
your own way. You won't get your way all the time. Also to piggy back on freedom in this article, you
really should let the other be free to truly be who they are and trust that they will still come "home" to
the relationship
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 12:28pm
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12
Michelle Hill Quinones Everest College
I can honestly say this second time around I've got most of these on our side!! I'm very blessed!
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 6:04am 10
Rebecca Thvedt University of Chicago
Sounds great, happy for you, Michelle!
Reply Like 20 hours ago
Galen Gaer School of Life
Don't try so hard and let it just happen do not try
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 7:25am
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10
RuthAnn Morizumi Bryan College
Very true, and the lack of these being some main reasons for leaving a longterm relationship that
was becoming very toxic.
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 7:02am
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7
Kathy White Thorne Realtor at Re/max 100
So many of are young generation needs to read this and take heed !
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 6:04am
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7
Evan James Pattie Never been 2
Some times it's not about the younger relationship 'reading' that is important but having
the older generation mentor us by doing relationship well themselves and then being
prepared to answer questions that we have like: what is it that makes your relationships
so successful? ect...
Reply Like 13 hours ago
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4
Tash Martin
So True, An Awesome Read...Recommended:)
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:16am 5
William Seaver Belmont High School
This didn't have anything touching on fights but fights in my eyes at least are a sign of trust you can
share the contents of your Mind without offending or losing Your significant other
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 4:57pm 4
Evan James Pattie Never been 2
Good point... Resolving conflict well strengthens relationships no end and you know
people feel safe in a relationship when they fell free to disagree.
Reply Like 13 hours ago
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Lesley Cinders Webster Hostage Negotiator at Stavian
THE very best thing I've read on fb. Straight to the point, sincere and practical. If you're in the right
relationship all of the above is applicable and speaks to you. Excellent. I will be sharing this. Thank
you. X
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 1:35pm 4
Robert Russell McGill University
These are all important and we need to add basic kindness shared between parties and a
functional shared way to resolve differences. Happiness forever! :)
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:28am
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4
Steve Bollinger Fredericktown High
Finding the wright girl
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:56am 4
Ryan Svenson
Or guy.
Reply Like July 19 at 7:54am 6
Tara Poole Follow
7/21/2014 9 Good Signs That You' re In The Right Relationship | The Mind Unleashed
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Tara Poole
Or the right one
Reply Like 23 hours ago
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6
Pauly Culshaw
If youre in a relationship and you have challenges with your health for example, when your man says
"if you fall, I will catch you" that's when you know youre in the right relationship.
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 4:23pm 3
Gail Johns McKinnon Body Therapy Center
And then there was the moment when I was sick and asked "if I fall, will you catch me?"
He said "No". Wake up call for me!
Reply Like 20 hours ago 1
Jacky Davis 133 followers
only 2 month with my lover and me and him have followed each and every one of these and weve
never had a better relationship
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 6:28am
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3
Dylan Victor Top Commenter
Wait a few years. 2 months isn't anything.
Reply Like July 19 at 7:30am
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36
Jacky Davis 133 followers
Dylan Victor I know it isnt but its just a start, ive been in some where cheating is all they
do or just play games and im to busy being real i dont see it till its to late, and hes been
in my eyes everything i needed
Reply Like July 19 at 7:32am
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9
Syed Shabbir Ahmed Top Commenter San Jose, California
Jacky Davis Good luck
Reply Like 21 hours ago
Marianna Dydek Central High School
Home heart health peace respect love to the core and shared unconditionally and freely are values
that support and nurture ourselves and each other
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 9:20am 2
Karen Durham Purdue University North Central
My gramma Helen always said you have to give 100% in a marriage. So true.
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:40pm 2
Nita Lightell Top Commenter Palmer, Alaska
i wonder if there are dating sites for people with disabilities?
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 10:56am
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Leigh Keating
Being ugly is not a disability I'm afraid.
Reply Like July 19 at 4:45pm 1
Marleen Van Raemdonck Merksem, Antwerpen, Belgium
Leigh, that was very rude. Nita, yes there are such dating websites. Just google it. I have
found this one: http://www.dating4disabled.com/ Never give up hope!!!
Reply Like July 19 at 7:06pm 10
Kyra Slubowski Top Commenter Security Guard at Westridge Security Ltd
Leigh Keating Neither is being an asshole. Check yourself, before you wreck yourself ;)
Reply Like Edited 19 hours ago 3
Evan James Pattie Never been 2
These things are ether inherent to your own character and result in positive relationships or they are
not and your character needs more work. The challenge if finding someone that you are interested
in and they in you. That posesses the same character qualities that make relationships work.
Reply Like Follow Post 13 hours ago
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1
Amanda Tolep Florida Gulf Coast University
I've been in great relationships before and some terrible ones, and from my experience this seems
like a really accurate and comprehensive list. Thanks!
Reply Like Follow Post 23 hours ago 1
Terrence T. Watson Top Commenter C.E.O at "The Cutting Edge Starring Samurai"
9. Outsiders arent calling the shots. Thank you for as long as I lived I hated that! that to me was a
immediate red flag in a relationship.
Reply Like Follow Post Edited 23 hours ago
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1
Tamarin Dahlstrom
Haven't finished reading but number 3 & 4 are so very true, if only people took these words with
them to their relationships I think would be very affective
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 7:04pm 1
Avril Mesh
Accepting the other persons imperfections, perfectly. And laughter!
Reply Like Follow Post 21 hours ago 1
Beth Ann Trudell Miller Virginia Farrell Cosmetology
Yep! Been married almost 25 yrs and this is very true!
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 6:23am 1
Arah M. Rebigan Malita, Davao Del Sur, Philippines
3 months in a relationship, very true
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 3:45pm 1
Jo Maidment Technical Consultant at Go Green Future Ltd
http://www.purpleteardrop.org.uk/what-you-can-do/love-melove-me-not-bookmarks-and-cards/
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 2:16pm
Sean Gilluly Construction Worker at Adroit Finishing Corporation
Adapt. I'm not saying change who you are, but don't let the relationship revolve around one person's
interests, ambitions, etc. You need to be willing to make sacrifices, and you should take interest in
what the other is interested in.
Reply Like Follow Post 2 hours ago
Ricardo Pombo Works at None of your business
Relationships requires work. No one said it was going to be easy, specially romantic ones, be clear
about your expectations of the relationship, love is not a fairy tail, the essence if love is sacrifice
Reply Like Follow Post 15 hours ago
7/21/2014 9 Good Signs That You' re In The Right Relationship | The Mind Unleashed
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Akeem Kemar Joseph Stock at Rag & Bone
Question, how does one partner handle a situation or possibly should feel towards the partner.
When they continuously hang out with there coworkers and return home really late say 3a-6a+... 5-6
days out the week?
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 2:44pm
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Cat Powers Marketing Intern at College of Charleston Dining Services
A) Tell them this bothers you & why in a calm & rational way.
B) if your schedule permits ask that they invite you to come along sometimes so you
don't feel left out of their life.
Reply Like July 19 at 5:29pm 1
Stacy Naylor Jennings Teacher at D39C at Poway Unified School District
Are you married to this person, Akeem Kemar Joseph? If notpack up and move out.
Sounds fishy to me.
Reply Like July 19 at 9:18pm 11
Karen Bayne Senior Scientist at New Zealand Forest Research Institute
Very true! 21 yrs together and it is a constant learning experience, but the biggest truth is no. 2 in the
EXPECTATIONS of the relationship, if you go in just thinking "We'll see how far this one goes" it will
likely not go far...
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 4:54pm
Marnie Towers SPS/SPN-Personal Trainer/Fitness Instructor at Woodstock Fitness & Racquet Club
13 years strong! I wouldn't be the person I am today, if I didn't have Lovey by my side! Love cant
express how much he means to me :) xo
Reply Like Follow Post 22 hours ago
Joan MacLean Warshauer 7th and 8th grade intensive Reading teacher and Chorus teacher. at H.D
Perry Middle School
Humor fixes a lot of tense moments. You have to know when it will help, and when it will make it
worse.
Reply Like Follow Post 13 hours ago
Lalit Kumar RESONANCE EDUVENTURES PVT. LTD. 179 followers
great article, helped alot. thanks The Mind Unleashed.
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 12:10pm
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Mickey McManus Works at Coles
Great tips... Address P.M.S and its destruction on a relationship and you would have a fantastic
article.
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 2:00pm
Amber Bunnell Munck Vacaville, California
If you combine number 5 with number 7 as how to address PMS in a relationship.
Depending on the woman and her hormones and health, PMS is a very difficult time,
where she might only be able to give 20% or less to the relationship and need to give
that time to herself, but a key here, is that the partner can feel empowered to give the
80% during this time and give her what she needs, and she can communicate her
needs if it is a number 6 type of relationship. Don't feel it is unfair, feel the opportunity to
give, women often make-up the difference at other times of the month, naturally giving
more and naturally nurturing others more than themselves. Choose to make this a time
to be the superman she needs during that time, give her a hug and tell her everything will
be ok, take care of the kids, dog, cat, cooking, dishes for th... See More
Reply Like July 19 at 2:50pm 17
Neha Jain Research at IIT KGP
Thank you very much.. the post has answered many of my unanswered questions! thank you very
very much..
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:05pm
Corrina Shatford San Francisco, California
forgiveness for when you fuck up
Reply Like Follow Post 8 hours ago
Christia Theodorides
If it feels right then it probably is
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 1:52pm
Amy Hall Stoddard Postmaster at USPS
This is some great advice!!
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 4:47pm
Karen Shields Customer Service/Operations at F.J Tytherleigh Logistics py ltd
I'm in the wrong marriage 1/9
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 12:47pm
Gerilee Kim Vail
I'm totally alone.
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 11:17pm
Tongo Lidai Works at Umbrella Corporation 281 followers
thanks for the tip..
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 11:26pm
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Paul Angelo Top Commenter Florida Atlantic University
Yes, great ideas!
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:24am
Kelly Vilk Works at The Home Depot
very true
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 5:09am
Andreas Danielson Works at Volkswagen Stockholm
You have a lot of fun and are laughing a lot together
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 10:48am
Alexandre Veilleux Top Commenter Works at Metro mon picier
Some people should read this ! But i guess my relationship is going very well so far !
Reply Like Follow Post July 19 at 8:02pm
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