A societys soul is judged by the way it treats its

childern
By
Randima Attygalle-September 27,
2014,
"There can be no keener revelation
of a societys soul than the way in
which it treats its children," Nelson
andela once observed! Toddlers
dashed against rocks to teach an
estranged s"ouse a #lesson, children
strangled for wetting the floor,
thrown in the sea by none other than
their own mother or father are not
scenes from a horror movie! $ts the
ti" of an iceberg of increasing
violence against the children of our own nation! %mall girls with no family security ra"ed and
strangled by "erverts behind tea bushes, children ravished, stuffed in gunny bags and left to rot
are a reflection of a soul dead society! A society in which "rimary social "rotection of the
family is absent is surely doomed!
Neither media trum"eting nor learned orations will suffice! There must be social and "olitical
will and a collective "ublic mechanism going right down to the grass roots im"arting "arenting
skills to those in difficulty& counseling and infusing moral values in society to counter this
growing menace! Throwing your child to the sea and committing suicide must be seen as the
worst act of cowardice one could think of& and strangling a ha"less child is not the remedy for
single "arenthood!
'naddressed changes within the family
(r! )iranthi *i+emanne, ,-"ert ember. /ice
0hair, 'N onitoring 0ommittee on the Rights of
the 0hild, e-"lained the "rimary social institution
of the family has undergone significant changes in
the world of today! any of these changes are not
recogni1ed and therefore not addressed! "*hat is
significant and im"ortant is that these changes
affect children! The 0onvention on the Rights of
the 0hild 20R03 is 4uite e-"licit and "recise in its
reference to families! The "reamble clearly states that the family is a natural environment for
the growth and develo"ment of children! But today, due to several reasons, it has become a
vulnerable environment with the risk of se-ual, "hysical and emotional abuse, neglect and
violence in its many forms!"
*i+emanne cites several reasons for this change! A"art from traditional married cou"les with
or without children, there are cohabiting cou"les and their children, single "arents with
children, families headed by grand"arents, e-tended families living together although the
s"ace available is limited for the reason that individual homes are e-"ensive and beyond the
means of many! %ometimes older children, very much children themselves, must care for their
siblings! Today there are more migrant mothers and with the father also away at work, children
are cared for by slightly older children or elderly grand"arents! All these factors affect the
adults in the family and their own des"air, emotional difficulties, de"ression or an-ieties can
im"act innocent children, who really have no esca"e, as they cannot function alone as
individuals!
*hen there is marital discord in a family, children can easily get in the way! This is
"articularly so in most houses which are small and getting even smaller! 0hildren easily get in
between the warring s"ouses and end u" being victimi1ed themselves! Neglect of children in
such marriages and even child abandonment could easily occur! "0hildren are really tra""ed in
such situations as they have no one to turn to! They need "rotective services which identify the
risk factors and "rovide remedies! But such outreach services are rarely available! ,ven if they
are, and vulnerable children are "ut into an institution for care and "rotection, it is really not an
answer," says *i+emanne!
$dentifying vulnerable families
%he observes that a childs tragic situation gets into the s"otlight only when a tragedy has
occurred and it is then too late! "*e need more research into this, the causes, how we can
identify such vulnerable families, who should reach out for them with family "rotection
services, and how children in vulnerable situations of violence and abuse can be hel"ed," she
says! These include families where there is domestic violence, migrant mothers, substance
abuse, unem"loyment and "overty, where children are at risk of abuse, neglect and violence!
Accessible hel" lines for children can be of assistance, says *i+emanne! But the outcome
should not be +ust to "lace such children in an institution of "oor 4uality!
%haring her most recent e-"erience at the 56th %ession of the )uman Rights 0ouncil in
7eneva where (r! *i+emanne was a member of the "anel discussion on the "rotection of the
family, she said, "the focus of the meeting was to em"hasi1e state obligations to "rovide the
widest "ossible su""ort and "rotection for the family as the natural and fundamental unit in
society, and allow it to assume its role in the community and "rovide a conducive environment
for the growth and well being of its members!" The discussion had contributed to e-"loring the
correlation between levels of su""ort and "rotection for the family as well as "reventing
"overty, violence against women, older "ersons and those disabled, im"roving access to health
and education, fostering of research, and data collection!
"This year marks the 58th anniversary of the $nternational 9ear of the :amily! To recall the
motto which is most relevant $ 4uote, #building the smallest democracy at the heart of society!
The 7eneral Assembly Resolution relating to the $nternational 9ear, drew the attention to the
im"ortance of res"ect for human rights in "rotection of the family! They urged member states
to create a conducive environment to strengthen and su""ort families, recogni1ing e4uality
between men and women, res"ect for human rights, and the fundamental freedom of family
members, all of which are essential for family wellbeing and the society at large!"
(evelo"ing "arenting skills
$n the wake of increased "arental violence inflicted on children, the e-"ert o"ines that
"arenting skills should be introduced as a com"onent of maternal care and that such skills
should be made available to both husband and wife "articularly during the "regnancy! "There
are many who could "rovide such information with some training! These include family health
workers, volunteers in community based organi1ations, religious bodies of all faiths,
community health workers, and family health workers! aternal and child health care clinics
are good o""ortunities to "rovide such skills! %ince literacy levels are high, booklets and
leaflets are useful, and of course the media which can reach out to a wide audience!"
aking irrational choices
"As 0harles (arwin has e-"ounded, man has been uncivili1ed for thousands of years and
although we "retend to be civili1ed, within us still lives an uncivili1ed creature whose animal
instincts could surface in a s"lit second," reflects (e"uty %olicitor 7eneral %arath ;ayamanne
to whom we s"oke to find out what drives "eo"le to "er"etrate uns"eakable crimes such as
killing your own offs"ring! <ooking through the lens of criminology, ;ayamanne e-"lained
that certain social elements such as the level of education, family ties, social connections,
"rofessional image and future "ros"ects make "eo"le #think twice before making irrational
choices! The mentality of #nothing left to lose often drive humans to violence!
$n cases where a "erson commit suicide after taking a life of another, the fear of "unishment
u"on which our criminal +ustice system stands, doesnt a""ly! "*e use "unishment as one of
the key means of dealing with offenders! %uch a "unishment is believed to be deterrent to the
offender as well as to society! )owever in the case of those who commit suicide after killing
another human, all "rohibitions that would work against a crime would not be a""licable!"
9et, another good "ercentage of offenders having killed another would not even attem"t
suicide! $n such cases it could be assumed that they either weigh the re"ercussions on a scale
or such reasoning wouldnt even cross their minds! "%ome may kill and abandon the body
assuming they would not get caught! %ome may reason that even if they are caught, there
would be no evidence, hence no conviction! ,ven if there is a conviction, another lot may
think that having served a "rison term, they could come out! :or some, none of these
assum"tions may be valid and in case of "arents killing their own children, they will fail to see
children as individual legal entities, but as chattel that could be dis"osed of at their will! This is
due to ignorance," added ;ayamanne!
*hile maintenance and custody cases are on trial, violence is "er"etrated on children by one
of the estranged s"ouses! "$ts a scenario where the distraught s"ouse sees his.her worst enemy
through the eyes of an innocent child!" $nstances where a "arent kills a child as means of
clearing the "ath for an illicit affair, to remarry, to seek overseas em"loyment are not
uncommon! The famous criminal case of =auline de 0roos is a good e-am"le where she was
convicted of murdering her lovers young son as the victim was "erceived as the barrier to
marrying her lover!"
Breakdown of a value system
0hildren are also treated as #long term irritants by certain "arents owing to lack of "arental
skills! "*hen "ro"er u"bringing including social manners and other moral values is not
instilled in a young child, they become irritants to "arents and as a final outlet of "ent u"
anger, they kill their children," e-"lained the (%7! )e also cited social isolation, e-treme
"overty among other reasons which drive "eo"le to take the lives of their own offs"ring!
(elving into the "ersonal history of "er"etrators, it is revealed that most of them have been a
victim of a vicious social cycle at some "oint! ",s"ecially when it comes to "er"etrators of
child abuse, a good "ercentage had been abused as children themselves," he said!
$ncreased distance from religion and breakdown of the close knit community bonds are also
contributory to the crime wave, observes ;ayamanne who sees the need for a newly develo"ed
community of social workers and counselors to take the message of social em"owerment to
community level! "There is an onus "laced on the media as well not to dramati1e and make
headlines of such heinous crime when s"ace in a news"a"er or a "rime time slot of a T/ or a
radio channel could be used to highlight some "ositive news! >n the basis that "eo"le have a
right to know, such crimes should not be dramati1ed to the e-tent where they become the norm
of the day!"

R,0,NT ?$<<$N7% >: 0)$<(R,N B9 =AR,NT%
;an @ An infant from atara killed by the drug addict father
A arch- A child from ?ataragama killed by drunken father
A A child from aha >ya, Am"ara killed by the father
ay @ A new born baby killed by the mother in aho
;uly @ Two children from 9atiyantota killed by the father
August-
A A child from *ellawaya is thrown to the sea
A A toddler from Beruwala was dashed on a rock by the father
A A year-old from ?olonnawa was killed by the mother
%e"tember 58th
A other from Trinco attem"ted suicide by +um"ing to the sea from ?oneswaran- two children
died immediately and mother suffered serious in+uries
%,B'A< A%%A'<T% AN( ?$<<$N7%
A Two girls, both C-year-olds, were se-ually abused and killed in Akmeemana and
anchanthoduvai in the "ast two weeks!
According to N0=A statistics, from ;anuary to ;une this year it has intervened in a total of
D,EFD child abuse cases re"orted on the GE5E )otline!
=rof! Nalaka endis, ,meritus =rofessor of =sychiatry, 'niversity of 0olombo, e-"lained that
more and more cases of "arents committing suicide with their children could "erha"s reflect
the increased incidence of such situations or even greater visibility! "$t is obvious that the
"erson committing suicide is in a very distressed state of mind where she or he sees no
alternative to his.her family other than ending the life to get rid of the enormous mental "ain!
"The ma+ority of these "eo"le committing suicide after killing the children are suffering from
very serious mental illness such as de"ression! %uch "eo"le get into a serious state of sadness
with futility, absolute hel"lessness and gloom for themselves and for their children! %uicide at
the time is seen as the only o"tion to "revent the mental "ain!"
Those who are not diagnosed as having a mental illness also are likely to get to a very
distressing mental state as a result of "ersonal or social circumstances where they see suicide
as the only o"tion for them and their children to "revent further "ain, he e-"lained! %uch
suicides are more likely in situations where the "erson has little social su""ort, in an
im"overished state and live in isolation with minimal social attachments!