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Use EFTs Choices Method to Tap for
Unconditional Love
Dear EFT Community,
In this excellent article, Dena Przybyla shares how she uses Patricia Carringtons
Choices Method with clients to tap unconditional love into any memory. She has found
that doing so fills the clients lives with that loving energy.
-Stephanie M
By Dena Przybyla
One of the most effective uses of EFT that I have found in light of the importance of having unconditional love in our lives, and
especially in our childhoods, is an adaptation of "Choices Tapping," developed by Patricia Carrington.
No matter what your childhood experiences, it is never too late to have a childhood that contains the energy of unconditional love,
for unconditional love is a resource state that is available to every one of us.
You might ask, "How is this possible? The past is the pastit cannot be altered!"
First you must connect with two important truths. First, that linear time is an illusion; and second: while we may not have control
over what happens to us, we do have control over the meaning we make of it, and the story we choose to take on as part of our
personal mythology.
The Unified Field
Quantum physics teaches us that nothing is fixedpast, present, and future are all happening now, simultaneously. Linear time is
illusory. There is no such thing as "time" at allpast, present, and future are all occurring in this moment. Linear time is strictly a
human construct, not a spiritual one.
With the energy of our thoughts and intentions, the past can be altered at any time, and these changes alter our present and
future. This is because...(dramatic pause)...the past, and all that we perceive, is actually inside of us.
We created it, and continually create it.
There is no "out there."
The Observer Effect
EFT Tapping - Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) | Use EFTs Choic... http://www.eftuniverse.com/refinements-to-eft/using-efts-choices-metho...
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Anything that exists only exists because someone observed it to be so; without an observer, it never happened. And the observer
is never objective. We see what weve been programmed to see, based on our formative experiences. To borrow a phrase, we
see the world not as it is, but as we are.
This means we have a choice.
I have worked with a number of people using the Choices EFT technique, and the results have been nothing short of life
altering. It works because our thoughts and intentions have tremendous power.
The technique begins like this:
Think about your first primary caregiver. Think about your relationship with that person when you were a child, and think about it
now. (If they are deceased, think about your last recollections of the nature of this relationship.) How would you characterize the
relationship?
One man I worked with, whom I will call "David," made this assessment about his mother: "It always felt like she was actually
rooting against me. Rooting for me to fail."
When he came to this realization, we did quite a bit of tapping to quiet his reactions of horror, and then anger, and ultimately deep
sadness and disappointment.
However, with this technique, once one gets to the raw truth of one's experience with the first "observer" in life, the next question
is, "How would you have preferred it to be?"
David's solemn response was, "I always wanted her to be my biggest fan."
Creating a New Story
And so we had our Choices Setup Statement. I had him tap the Karate Chop point and state three times:
"Even though it has always felt like Mom was rooting against me, rooting for me to fail, I choose to feel and live as though
Mom were my biggest fan, and that she loves me unconditionally."
You see, it's never too late to infuse unconditional love into any memory, any experience, any relationship weve ever had. Even if
someone has never experienced unconditional love from another human being in this lifetime, I've found in working with clients
that there is always a part of everyone that has never forgotten what unconditional love feels like.
So, unconditional love, the best resource of all, is a built-in resource that we all have access to.
Also, the truth is that, in nearly every case, our parents intended to love us unconditionally, even if they were unable to do so. And
if they had another chance, they would strive to be more unconditionally loving.
I then had David tap the negative reminder phrase around all of the points, to neutralize it:
"It has always felt like Mom was rooting for me to fail."
Some specific trigger memories substantiating this belief came up, and we tapped them down to 0, one by one.
He then tapped a round that alternated the negative phrase and a positive choice phrase at each point:
"It felt like Mom was rooting for me to fail."
EFT Tapping - Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) | Use EFTs Choic... http://www.eftuniverse.com/refinements-to-eft/using-efts-choices-metho...
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Alternated with:
"I choose to feel and live as though Mom is my biggest fan, and that she loves me unconditionally."
Some additional aspects came up reflecting Davids disbelief that this would work, and we routed his belief back to the truth:
Unconditional love is the Source and base of everything.
We finished with an all-positive tapping round:
"I choose to feel and live as though Mom is my biggest fan, and that she loves me unconditionally."
By then, David was feeling much more hopeful, and much more empowered.
"You mean, I really have a choice in all this?!"
"Absolutely!" was my heartfelt reply, having seen the power of the mind transform many lives. "Now," I said, "Let's move on to your
dad.
Based on Davids recollections and perceptions of his experience with his father, we put together the following tapping sequence
(after addressing specific memories around the belief).
Choice Setup Statement, 3 times:
"Even though it feels like Dad thinks I'm a bother, and that I'm in the way, I choose to feel and live as though Dad thinks I am
awesome, and that he loves me unconditionally."
(Note: While some might see the term "awesome" as a slang term, this is the way my client always dreamed of being seen by his
father, so it was important to include words that resonated with him.)
One round, negative Reminder Phrase:
"It feels like Dad thinks I'm a bother, and that I'm in the way." (Tapping on aspects and specific incidents as needed.)
Another round, alternating:
"It feels like Dad thinks I'm a bother, and that I'm in the way."
And:
"I choose to feel and live as though Dad thinks I am awesome, and that he loves me unconditionally."
And one all-positive round:
"I choose to feel and live as though Dad thinks I am awesome, and that he loves me unconditionally."
And then one final positive round, alternating both parents' positive statements:
"I choose to feel and live as though Dad thinks I am awesome, and that he loves me unconditionally."
And
"I choose to feel and live as though Mom is my biggest fan, and that she loves me unconditionally."
EFT Tapping - Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) | Use EFTs Choic... http://www.eftuniverse.com/refinements-to-eft/using-efts-choices-metho...
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The New Normal: Integrating Change at the Cellular Level
By now David was absolutely beaming. He had never felt this empowered. Other emotions and memories came up, memories
that supported his old perception and beliefs that his mom was rooting against him, and that his dad felt he was in the way.
We tapped each memory and aspect down to 0, one by one.
His system was fighting the change because he had believed otherwise for so long; but little by little, the preferred reality, the one
in which he felt unconditional love from his parents, seemed more plausible. At a certain point, it became more about changing the
habitual thoughts and feelings in his body.
We did so with the Setup Statement:
Even though my body, cells, and neurons were used to feeling anxiety about Mom and Dad not loving me, Im choosing to
feel calm, peaceful, and fully tuned in to unconditional love in my body, mind, heart, and spirit.
As homework, David tapped through the Choices routine for both parents daily.
A couple of weeks later, he had this to report:
"I got an e-mail the other day from my dad, and as I was reading it, I noticed that my self-talk was, 'This is from a guy who thinks
I'm awesome. How great to hear from him!' My whole attitude toward my dad has shifted. My attitude toward myself and my life
has changed. And I swear, it feels like my mom IS more supportive, and that my dad really DOES think I'm awesome!"
Often, we get what we are looking for in life, good or bad. Its as though once we create an expectation within ourselves for an
experience, we immediately start to find evidence of it. Weve tuned our receiver to perceive and take in all that supports our
dominant beliefs, filtering out the rest.
David had previously suffered from a chronic anxiety disorder for many years, causing near continual anxiety ranging from a 6 to a
10 on the SUD scale at any given point in his day.
He now reports that he has been nearly free of anxiety since starting Choices tapping for unconditional love. He is reprogramming
his unconscious mind, his living history, with the reality he prefers, the reality he chooses.
We all have the power to do this.
The thing to remember is that unconditional love is everywherewe cant escape it. It is, in fact, the very fabric of who and what
we are.
Often, its just a matter of remembering this and reconnecting with the energy, which is the Source and base of everythingthe
Unified Field.
It is my sincere belief that a reconnection to the powerful energy of unconditional love within us can heal or correct most anything.
One last comment:
The traditional Setup Statement in EFT is:
"Even though I have [this problem] . . .
I DEEPLY AND COMPLETELY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF."
EFT Tapping - Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) | Use EFTs Choic... http://www.eftuniverse.com/refinements-to-eft/using-efts-choices-metho...
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Indeed, the traditional statement has unconditional love built right into it! I would advise everyone who practices EFT to really say
this part of the statement with deep feeling, with the intention of fully tuning in to this amazing energy of unconditional love.
Unconditional love is our birthright; it is where we have come from, and where we will returnand, ultimately, it is who we are.
EFT Tapping - Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) | Use EFTs Choic... http://www.eftuniverse.com/refinements-to-eft/using-efts-choices-metho...
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