not playing with a full deck - insults and put downs

Not playing with a full deck? Hell, he's not even in the game!
A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.
A brain like a BB in a boxcar.
A couple of bricks short of a hod.
A couple of dilithium crystals short of a warp core.
A couple of knights short of a Crusade.
A couple of togas short of an orgy.
A couple of volts below threshold.
A couplet short of a sonnet.
A day late and a dollar short.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few birds shy of a flock.
A few bits short of a byte.
A few bits shy of a word.
A few bricks shy of a load.
A few cans short of a six pack, six short.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few clues shy of a solution.
A few ears short of a bushel.
A few eggs short of a dozen.
A few feet short of the runway.
A few fish short of a string.
A few guppies short of an aquarium.
A few inches short of a foot / yard.
A few kernels short of an ear.
A few lanes short of a highway.
A few lines short of a program.
A few links shy of a chain.
A few open splices.
A few peas short of a pod / casserole.
A few pickles short of a jar.
A few pixels short of an image.
A few puppies short of a pet shop.
A few rungs short of a ladder.
A few sandwiches / apples / ants short of a picnic.
A few screams short of an orgasm.
A few screws loose.
A few snowballs short of an avalanche.
A few spoons short of a full set.
A few straws shy of a bale.
A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.
A few tiles missing from his Space Shuttle.
A few tomatoes short of a thick sauce.
A few yards short of the hole.
A flower short of an arrangement.
A goose short of a gaggle.
A hamburger / a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.
A handle short of a suitcase.
A hump short of a camel.
A lap behind the field.
A little light in his loafers.
A looney tune.
A mind like wet tennis shoes: Makes squishy noises when running.
A pane short of a window.
A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
A pickle short of a barrel.
A quart low.
A room temperature IQ.
A screw loose.
A strawberry short of a quart.
A teabag short of a pot.
A victim of retroactive birth control.
A violin minus the bow.
A walking argument for birth control.
A wind-up clock without a key.
About a half a bubble off plumb.
About as sharp as a sack of wet leather / a bowling ball / a bowl of Jell-O.
About as smart as bait.
About fifteen cents short.
About three cents short of a dollar.
Ain't wrapped too tight.
Air between the ears.
All booster - no payload.
All booster and no shuttle.
All crown - no filling.
All foam. no beer.
All hammer, no nail.
All his eggs in the same basket.
All his marbles in one bag.
All lime and salt, no tequila.
All missile, no warhead.
All plow and no tractor.
All the lights don't shine in his marquee.
All the sex appeal of a wet paper bag.
All wax and no wick.
Almost as smart as a finch.
Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
An early example of the Peter Principle.
An ego like a black hole.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An inch short and a stroke early.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
Answers the door when the phone rings.
Antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
Any slower and he'd be in reverse. -- Gignac
As bright as a nightlight / small appliance bulb / tulip bulb.
As thick as two short planks.
Attention span of an overripe grapefruit.
Attic's a little dusty.
Back burners not fully operating.
Bats have flown the belfry, and now he's all alone.
Bats in the belfry.
Batteries not included.
Been playing in the pharmacy section again.
Been playing with his wand too much.
Been short on oxygen one time too many.
Blender doesn't go past "mix".
Blocked one too many hockey pucks / soccer balls / punches.
Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel.
Born a day late and like that ever since.
Born during low tide in the gene pool.
Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat!
Brain on cruise control.
Brain speed inversely proportional to mouth speed.
Braindead.
Brains of a house plant.
Bright as a Zippo lighter without a flint.
Bright as Alaska in December.
Broadcasts static.
Caboose seems to be pulling the engine.
Cackles a lot, but I ain't seen no eggs yet.
Calling him a pea brain would be an undeserved compliment.
Can be outwitted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff.
Can carry on conversations with bushes.
Can easily be confused with facts.
Can't find his ass with two hands and a periscope.
Car's only got three wheels, and one's going flat.
Cauliflower / Cheezwiz for brains.
Cheats when filling out opinion polls.
Chimney's clogged.
Clutch is slipping.
Could get lost in a broom closet.
Couldn't find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him.
Couldn't hit sand if he fell off a camel.
Couldn't pick the winner of a one-horse race.
Couldn't spell "cat" if you spotted him on the "C" and the "A".
Couldn't write dialog for a porno flick.
Crazy as all get out / a loon.
Cursor's flashing but there's no response.
Deaf, dumb, and blonde.
Deck has no face cards.
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Dialing thumb must be broken.
Dock doesn't quite reach the water.
Does aerobics... in his head.
Doesnt have all nine players on the diamond.
Doesn't have all his dogs barking.
Doesn't have all of his groceries in the same bag.
Doesn't have all the dots on his dice.
Doesn't have both chop sticks in the chop suey.
Doesn't have both oars in the water.
Doesn't have both oars in the water -- can't even find the damn boat.
Doesn't have elastic in both of his socks.
Doesn't have his belt through all the loops.
Doesn't have the sense God gave an animal cracker.
Doesn't just know nothing; doesn't even suspect much.
Doesn't know if he's afoot or on horseback.
Doesn't know which side of the toast the butter is on.
Downhill skiing in Iowa.
Dr. Kevorkian got her from the neck up.
Driving with two wheels in the sand.
Dumb as asphalt / dirt / a stump / a box of rocks / a sack of hammers.
Dumber than a chicken / box of hair / a red brick / rocks.
Dumber than owl droppings.
During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.
Eating with only one chopstick.
Echoes between the ears.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Elevator doesn't make it to the penthouse.
Elevator doesn't stop at every floor.
Elevator goes all the way to the top but the door doesn't open.
Elevator is stuck between floors.
Encyclopedias missing some volumes.
Engine is running, but no one is behind the wheel.
Enough sawdust between the ears to bed an elephant.
Evidence for the theory of a missing link.
Flying / landing on one engine.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them.
Four cents short of a nickel.
Full throttle, dry tank.
Gasoline engine, diesel fuel.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Gavel doesn't quite hit the bench.
Gets her mail at an unknown zip code.
Gets his orders from another planet.
Gives a lot of bull for somebody what ain't got no cattle.
Goalie for the dart team.
God might still use him for miracle practice.
God's favorite target for lightning strikes.
Got a dozen eggs but some are cracked.
Got a life, but wasn't sure what to do with it.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
Half a brick short of a full load.
Half a bubble off plumb. --Attributed to Mark Twain
Half a quart low.
Hard to distinguish from the tail end of a horse.
Has a leak in his ceiling.
Has a pulse, but that's about all.
Has all her bricks, but no cement holding them together.
Has all the brains God gave a duck's ass.
Has six beers, but lacks the little plastic thing to hold them together.
Has the brains of a dogs ass.
Has the intellectual capacity of an Allen wrench.
Has the memory of a goldfish.
Has two brains. One is lost and the other is out looking for it.
Hasn't enough sense to pound salt into a rat hole.
Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard.
Hasn't got enough sense to come in out of the rain.
Hasn't got the brains God gave a cat.
Having a party in his head, but no one else is invited.
Head whistles in a cross wind.
Hears everything that a dog can.
He's got his motor running but the gearshift is still in park.
His drill doesn't have a full set of bits.
His jogging trail doesnt go all the way around the lake.
If brains were bird droppings, he'd have a clean cage.
If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his hat off / his nose!
If brains were popularity, shed be the IRS.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
If he had another brain cell, it'd be lonely.
If he had brains, he'd take them out and play with them.
If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week.
If he were any smarter, you could teach him to fetch.
If his IQ were 2 points higher he would be a rock.
If she were any dumber, she'd be a green plant.
If stupidity were a crime, he'd be #1 on the Most Wanted list.
If stupidity were beauty, her face could launch a million ships.
If the government ever declared war on stupidity, he'd get nuked.
If there were a merciful God he'd be dead by now.