Principles of Cooperation

In this session, I am going to talk about Cooperation

because your ability to get along with others will determine
your success in life more than any other single factor.
Shwa said,” I will pay more for the ability to get along
with others than for any other skill in the American industry.”
Some diagnostics in America” about who let go of their
positions over seven years; found that 95% of people who are
let go from their Companies were let go because of their
inability to work well with others.
85% of all the problems you have in your life will involve
other people. That means also 85% of happiness came from
other people.As a Fact in life almost all our problems are seen
to talk back.
To win cooperation with others, the very best way is to
practise the golden rule. To do with others as you want have
to do with you. Practise the law of “Sowing and reaping”
:what ever you sow in your relationships you will reap in
your relationships. If you want people to co operate with you,
you must be co operative with them. Treat everybody with
courtesy, kindness and patience. Remember every person you
meet is carrying a heavy load. Psychologists tell us that you
have a healthy personality to the degree to which you get
along with the greatest number of other people and the more
you like yourself the more you like others and the more they
will like you. If you practise self discipline and have a clear
sense of purpose, if you are good at what you do and accept
complete responsibility for actions, if you strive to serve
others with what they want and concentrate on the highest pay
of your activity,you tend to be positive self-confident

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individual and you have no troubles in getting on with other
people.
However, there are some key ideas that can help you to
be more effective with others; for instance:
1- To build a pace of power and influence, the safest way is
to build a network of dependencies. Your power in business
or industry or politics, the whole will be determined by who
you can call upon for help and assistance.
2- You build your power pace by seeking every
opportunity to assist others, with no immediate expectation
of return. If you remember the movie “ the God father” in
which he become the Godfather by doing favours for other
people and he would say upon for fulfilling a favour for
someone, (perhaps), I will be able to call upon you for a
kindness some day and what he did he built up a network of
dependencies of people that he had helped and who are in
favours and he was able to call upon them. Of course this
strategy, pre-supposes that you are good at your work and let
me make this point very clear: You can only build power
within an organization of value to the degree to which you are
excellent at what you do. If you attempt to build a power pace
to compensate for a lack of excellent what will happen is to
what just perceived has being cheap politics and that will send
them to work out.
3-To assure greater success in negotiations and meetings,
the key is preparation; you will always do better with the
plan than without. So prepare, prepare, prepare. The power is
always on the side of a person with the most knowledge and
the best notes and the most thorough preparation. In
interacting with others A key to co operative relationships is
to be a good listener and here some keys to effective
listening: by the way, most people are poor listeners and if

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they become a little bit better you’ll be amazed by the
difference it will make in your interaction with others:
1-Listen attentively: Face the speaker directly.
2-Listen without interruption: listen without thinking at
the same time what are you going to say as soon as the
speaker takes a breath.
Listen quietly and patiently and calmly without interrupting
or attempting to interrupt.
3-Pause before you replying. Pausing is classy. If you
allow 3-5 seconds to pass before you respond, you will be
convenient to other person very clearly that you are carefully
considering the other person's remarks and you are avoiding
the risk of interrupting of one others. An advantage to pausing
is that psychologists tell us that you hear better when you
pause before you plan , because the words of the other person
is said are so keen .If you behave like that and you get better
understanding of what the other individual actually mean.
4-Feed it back in your own words. A very powerful too,
and very effective in the world of sales is when a person make
a comment on an observation feed it back in your own words
to make it clear and fully understand if you are been listening
carefully.
5-Question for clarification : remember in conversation,
the person who asks questions has control. One of my
favourite question for clarification is simply this: How do you
mean exactly? Remember if there is any question in your
mind about what the other person means, you have probably
not understood.
Ask open-ended questions to control the conversation open-
ended questions can’t be answered yes or no. Examples are
What ,When, Who, Why and How. Such these questions
encourage the person to expand on the subject.

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7-Ask closed-ended questions to get commitment. A close-
ended questions that must be answered yes or no. they usually
begin with verbs like:
Are you going to be making a decision today?
Is this what you are looking for?
Does that make sense to you ? And so on.
In Building co-operative relationships, practise the law
of indirect effort. The law in indirect effort says the inner
relationships with others, We almost invariably get what we
want, more rapidly by indirect means rather than by the direct
means. For Example, If you want to impress someone else ,
the direct way is to try to impress him which we all try from
one time to another usually with humiliating results. However
in the indirect way of impressing another person is to be
impressed by them. There is nothing that so impress others
and for you to be impressed by them. Because any other
person can be interested in who you are and will respect your
judgment and opinions. Another example of the law of
indirect effect is: If you want others to be interest in you, be
interested in them. If want to like you, like them. If you want
other people respect you, respect them. If you want other
people to believe in you, believe them. If you want to have a
friend, be a friend.
The law of indirect effect is the key to effective relationships
with other people. And here is an extinction . here is some of
The keys of co-operative human relations:
A – Acceptance:- Accepting other person
unconditionally for exactly who they are without judgment
and without reservation . Acceptance and rejection is
something that takes place with every interaction and we are
attuned from childhood to be very alert to whether or not be
accepted or rejected by others, in social interaction . And the
finest and the simplest way to express acceptance of others in

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a conversation is simply to smile. Simply to smile that
requires twelve muscles to smile and a hundred and three
muscles to frown . And when ever we smile with anther
person it is not only puts them in ease, raises their self –
esteem. But when you smile , it releases and undorthens in
the brain and gives you a feeling of well being and
contentment .
B- Appreciation : I think the most two beautiful words in
my language are “please and thank you “ will get you to
anywhere you want to go.
The more you say thank you to people, the more they will
want to do things for you in order to hear you say thank you
again. And one of the best things you can do to build self –
esteem in your children is to say thank you to them for
everything they do for you. And one of the best things you
can do, to build a happy home is to say thank you to your
spouse for everything they do small or large around the house.
Another key to build a human relation is.
C-Approval and praise: which is to acknowledge and
recognize when people do things well. And here are some of
keys to approval and giving approval :
1-Be sincere: never expresses approval unless you believe it ,
unless you actually feel that the person has done something
that is praise worthy .
2- To be immediate: that means if some body does
something, give him a praise immediately after words. Praise
delayed is usually praise that has no effect at all.
3- Be specific: when you praise. If a person has done a good
job say on a specific item say: “you have done an excellent
job on this item.” Always praise specifically what would you
like to see repeated.
4- If you would like to develop a habit in another person,
praise continuously until the habit is developed. If you like to

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maintain the habit then praise intermittently after words. In
other words, praise the person every second or third time they
do it to maintain the habit and place.
D- Admiration: Every body likes a compliment, and the two
things that you can quite safely compliment people on are
their traits or their positions. ” You certainly are punctual ” or
“that’s very generous of you ” or “you are certainly are
working hard today ” is a compliment in a person on their
traits. people are very proud of their personal traits or
compliment people on their position. People place a lot of
emotional significance on the position they surround them
selves with. If you praise a person's car, you can never go
wrong. Praise a person’s children , praise a person’s house, or
a person’s furniture in their house or in their office. It raises
the other person’s self-esteem and makes them far more
receptive to working co-operatively with you.
E- Agreeability: Be agreeble . Be an a agreeable person .Be
the sort of person that people like to have around because, you
are not argumentative or difficult. And even if you disagree
ask your self always: “ How important is this? ” and if it is not
important, let it pass. One of the characteristics of people we
always enjoy is that they smile, say thank you. They praise
and approve our behaviors and our actions. They admire our
positions and they are agreeable and easy get along with. To
encourage teamwork remember this: in business or in industry
or in all organizations in our society today; All work is done
by teams. And you ability to work well on a team ,an your
ability to build an effective team, to get the job done is going
to determine your success as much as any other single factor.
So here is some keys to encourage team work:
Keys to Encourage teamwork

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1- Make sure every one knows what you are trying to
accomplish. Make clear that every body on the team knows
what the goals, or the objectives of the team are. Make sure
that every body knows why you are trying to accomplish it.
What is the reason? What is the purpose? Who will be
affected? And how much? People will go along way to
help you achieve the “ what” if they know the “why”. I find in
running my offices, I always explained my secretaries why a
letter is to be typed. By asking a person to make a call I tell
him why… etc. when a person knows why something is to be
done, they have the opportunity to exercise their imagination
to find different and even better ways to do it.
2- Make sure every one exactly what they are expected to
contribute individually. It’s very important when you build a
team; each team member knows exactly what part they are to
play and each other team member knows each other team
member's part, and they also know the standard of
performance that is expected of each job.
3- Make each team member especially responsible for at least
one complete part of the job . Each person on the team has to
have one hundred percent responsibility for at least one part
of the endeavor. When a person has a responsibility for one
complete part \ one discreet unit, to gives him a feeling of
control and personal responsibility on the job. Whereas if they
do not have a discreet of the job to do , it is very easy for
them to say that they did their share and if something is not
done properly, it’s not their fault.
4- Give ample praise and recognition for performance. The
basic rule with regard to team building is to give lots of
praise and recognition in public, give criticism and
constructive feed back in private. Remember there ‘s always
enough praise to give away. Remember, there’s always credit
to go around. The very best team leaders and the very best

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team builders are those who give all the credit to their
members and take account ability on their shoulders.
5- Personaly accept 100% responsibility for any thing that
goes wrong . take blame and share the glory. That
exceptional are always those who if the person does not do
the job except that it’s their responsibility of having put the
person in the job in the first place.
Remember people makes mistakes and it often happens that
you put a person in a job for which they are not suited. If that
is the case, it’s not the person fault, it’s the fault of the
executive who put him in this position and it is the
responsibility of the executive to remove them.
6- Never criticizes, condemn or complain. It lowers morel
and peoples self-esteem. The very best team leaders are
those who never criticize or complain about the performance
of the players. They give constructive feedback. They give
their players advice and how to do better next time. But they
never criticize or run them down.
7- Remember everything that you do that makes other people
feel good about themselves and boost own self-esteem and
make sure more dynamic, successful person. The real key to
co-operative human relations is to treat every one as though
they were the most important person in the world; a million
dollar customer. And as I said earlier: your ability to get on
with others, your ability to function well on teams, your
ability to work well in meetings and co-operative affectively
with other human beings will more than anything else
determine the height to which you will raise in your field of
industry.
Prepared by: Mr. Jehad Ghazala
Revised by: Mr. Ibrahim Al-Ebeid.
Typing: Mr. Mohammed Nur.(a student).
Kuwait 23/11/2002

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