T H E YO R K T H E A T R E C O M PA N Y

JAMES MORGAN, PRODUCING ARTISTIC DIRECTOR

ANDREW LEVINE, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR W. DAVID MCCOY, CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD
IN ASSOCIATION WITH EDWARD

NEGLEY, NEIL BERG & ADAM FRIEDSON

JAMES MORGAN

PRESENT

RICHARD MALTBY, JR. MUSIC BY DAVID SHIRE

CONCEIVED BY RICHARD MALTBY, JR. AND STEVEN SCOTT SMITH
LYRICS BY

STARRING

JENN COLELLA GEORGE DVORSKY CHRISTIANE NOLL SAL VIVIANO

SCENIC DESIGN JAMES

MORGAN

COSTUME DESIGN NICOLE

WEE LIGHTING DESIGN KIRK BOOKMAN

KUETHER ASSOCIATE CHOREOGRAPHER EMILY MORGAN
CASTING MUNGIOLI THEATRICALS: ARNOLD J. MUNGIOLI, CSA GENERAL PRESS REPRESENTATIVE O&M CO.
MARKETING RED RISING MARKETING CO-DIRECTED BY STEVEN SCOTT SMITH
ASSISTANT STAGE MANAGER NIKI ARMATO PRODUCTION STAGE MANAGER BERNITA ROBINSON
TECHNICAL DIRECTOR WYATT

ADDITIONAL VOCAL ARRANGEMENTS PATRICK SCOTT BRADY

ORIGINALLY PRODUCED OFF-BROADWAY BY JANET BRENNER, MICHAEL GILL AND DARYL ROTH
DEVELOPED AT THE WILLIAMSTOWN THEATRE FESTIVAL
MUSIC DIRECTION BY ANDREW

GERLE

ASSOCIATE DIRECTION & CHOREOGRAPHY BY KURT

DIRECTED BY RICHARD

MALTBY, JR.

STAMM

CAST

JENN COLELLA WOMAN 1

CHRISTIANE NOLL WOMAN 2
SAL VIVIANO MAN 1
GEORGE DVORSKY MAN 2

Act Two : CD2

1. THREE FRIENDS Christiane, Jenn
and George
2. FANDANGO Christiane and Sal
3. THERE Jenn and George

Act One : CD1

4. TRANSITION 2 Sal

1. DOORS Company

5. PATTERNS Christiane

2. SHE LOVES ME NOT Sal, Christiane

and George
3. YOU WANNA BE MY FRIEND George
and Jenn

6. THERE IS SOMETHING IN A WEDDING

Company
7. ANOTHER WEDDING SONG**
Sal and Jenn

4. WHAT AM I DOING? Sal

8. IF I SING* George

5. THE BEAR, THE TIGER, THE HAMSTER AND

THE MOLE Christiane

9. BACK ON BASE** Jenn and Danny

10. THE MARCH OF TIME Company

6. ILL GET UP TOMORROW MORNING

George

11. FATHERS OF FATHERS Sal, George

and Andrew

7. MISS BYRD Jenn

12. ITS NEVER THAT EASY Christiane

IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE Jenn

8. TRANSITION George
9. DATING AGAIN Company
10. ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS Sal
11. THERES NOTHING LIKE IT Company
12. LIFE STORY Christiane
13. NEXT TIME George
I WOULDNT GO BACK Christiane
and Company

13. CLOSER THAN EVER Company

Music Director/Piano: ANDREW GERLE
Bass: ALAN STEVENS HEWITT and DANNY WELLER
*Lyrics by RICHARD MALTBY, JR. and DAVID SHIRE
**Lyrics by DAVID SHIRE
Understudies: JAMIE LAVERDIERE and RITA HARVEY

CLOSER THAN EVER

Shows, it turns out, are living things. They grow and change. Theres the show you set out to
create. Theres the show you actually end up with on stage. Theres the show the audience
receives in the theatre, which may or may not be what you thought you were giving them.
Theres the show the audience remembers. And then theres the show people see when time has
passed and their understanding of life has changed so that the material seems different.
In this production of CLOSER THAN EVER, David and I had a profound sense of how much a show
e of ideas -- stories our friends told
us, people we observed, perceptions from our own lives. Over time during the 1980s these ideas
grew into songs, several of which we put into a revue at the Manhattan Theatre Club called
URBAN BLIGHT. Later my former assistant Steven Scott Smith asked if he could use the songs
(adding some others from previous unproduced works) to create a cabaret show at a New York
nightclub. Stephen Holden wrote a rave review in the New York Times which pointed out that the
songs seemed to have a collective theme. They were all about lives lived over time.
With this review in hand we set out to turn CLOSER THAN EVER into a full theatrical evening. We
wrote more songs, again based on our lives and friends -- and since David and I were in our early
40s, the songs tended to explore the complexities of life faced by people in that age group. We
added THE MARCH OF TIME, IF I SING, THREE FRIENDS, FANDANGO, among others. We acquired
at the Williamstown Theatre Festival, we opened at the historic Cherry Lane Theatre in New York.
This time we got rave reviews from every newspaper except the New York Times who sent a
newly hired (and short-lived) post-feminist critic who found all the songs sung by women to be
whinings. Despite this, the show did rather well and had a nice nine-month run. Audiences
seemed genuinely moved by the show. One of my college classmates who I always thought was
dull came out wiping away tears. Nora Ephron and her sister Delia sent us a love letter.
Also RCA recorded the entire show, adding orchestrations by Michael Starobin. When the album
came out, lo and behold, once again Stephen Holden reviewed it and he made a startling
observation:
When performed on the stage by four good-looking 30ish actors with superb singing voices,
qualities of this revue seep to the surface. Without the performers faces, their voices seem
more mature, and the shows 25 songs mesh into an often wrenching conceptual album

about the satisfactions, regrets and anxieties felt by people who have reached an age when
it is too late to start over.
Oh, we thought, so thats the show we wrote. Who knew?
The recording went out into the world and made a lot of friends. We hear repeatedly that for
students in music and theatre programs around the country, this was the album they wore out,
listening to over and over. The show was produced countless times around the country and the
world. It connected with people. Once again, who knew? It has always seemed remarkable to
me that we go into the theatre in order to communicate with people, to connect, yet when the
connection takes place, were never there.
Twenty years later, Neil Berg came to us with the conviction that it was time for CLOSER THAN
EVER to be revived in New York. After some initial reluctance, David and I agreed, particularly
when it occurred to us that the brilliant original cast was now the proper age to perform some of
this material. After a brief tryout with the remarkable Sally Mayes and Lynne Wintersteller, however,
when the York Theatre production came along, none of the original cast were available to do
it. So we had to recast. We were very nervous because we had scheduled only a two-week
rehearsal period, and these tricky songs take two weeks just to memorize, much less perform. But
I called two of our favorite actresses, Jenn Colella and Christiane Noll and astonishingly, they
both instantly said yes. And at that moment, the show began another life.
Knowing how hard this material can be, I gave the ladies just two notes. One: inhabit the part.
Be the person in the song and dont predetermine what will come out of you as a result. And
two: dont let any words or phrases go by on the way to words that really matter. Find something
in those secondary words as well -- humor, complexity, a contrasting thought. Little did I know
personal choices, surprising new meanings. It was, I found myself saying over and over again, a
revelation. I have always loved the performances of the original cast (and I still do), but suddenly
here were other interpretations, other truths, other human beings living these stories. Often it felt
as if David and I had never seen these songs before.
The ladies were joined after a week by the two men who had done the tryout, George Dvorsky
and Sal Viviano. Inspired and I feel sure intimidated by the ladies, the men went on the same
journey, rethinking every sentence, rediscovering new connections between themselves and the
material. The show was a living thing, growing and reshaping itself in the minds of new artists
We made a few structural changes as well. THE SOUND OF MUZAK, the only out-and-out
non-character-driven revue number, was replaced by DATING AGAIN, about newly-divorced

people in their forties rejoining the singles pool a subject certainly on topic. LIKE A BABY was
in fact never really in the show (although it is on the album), since it was replaced a week after
the show opened by ILL GET UP TOMORROW MORNING, which for some unknown reason we
didnt record. SOMETHING IN A WEDDING had been rehearsed for the original production but not
included. Now the entire show was on its theme.
performances. When the show opened on June 20, 2012, CLOSER THAN EVER got the most
a half-page to praising it. Since the show was based on people in the 1980s, David and I were
worried that the songs might have the tang of an earlier age. But every review spoke about how
timely the material was. The adult issues in the songs, it turns out, are universal, and the show
hadnt seemed to age at all.
But the most remarkable aspect of the production was the audience reaction. Maybe it was a
new reaction by new audiences seeing the show in a different time, or maybe it was because
response from the audience was palpable. There were many tears, many faces shining with joy.
People would come up to us after the show and say Thank you. Not Congratulations, not
said it, we came to realize that the show had to be speaking to people in some way that they
didnt often see addressed in the theatre bringing them to events, emotions, experiences they
related to deeply, and were surprised to see dramatized. It was remarkable -- and gratifying in a
way that David and I had never experienced.
But the reaction that delighted us most was simply this. People who had fallen in love with the
show twenty years ago as students and were coming back to re-experience an old friend would
come up and say, So thats what the songs are about!
We are grateful to John Yap and Jay Records for being able to bring this new and updated
recording to you, and of course to the York Theatre (James Morgan and Andrew Levine), to
Neil Berg and his partner Adam Friedson, to Music Theatre International, and to our friends and
supporters Marty and Perry Granoff, Ted and Mary Jo Shen, for making the new production
happen at all. CLOSER THAN EVER has grown up. It is indeed a living thing. David and I feel
reassured that it will continue to live and breath and speak to audiences in new ways now and,
well, into the future.
Richard Maltby jr. New York 2013

Act One : CD1

WOMAN 1

MAN 1

FRESH OUT OF BED YOUR LIFE IS OUTRACING YOU

THERE DEAD AHEAD ANOTHER ONES FACING YOU
SEEMS LIKE AT TIMES THEYRE PRACTICALLY CHASING YOU
EVRYWHERE ANOTHER DOOR

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

MAN 2

WOMAN 2

ONE DAY THE DOORS ARE LOCKED

AND YOURE SICK OF EM
NEXT DAY THEYRE YOURS
AND YOU HAVE YOUR PICK OF EM
FINDING THE PROPER KEY
THATS THE TRICK OF EM

1. DOORS

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

MAN 2
WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

WOMAN 2
WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

MAN 1
IN FRONT OF ME NOW

WOMAN 1
IN FRONT OF ME

ALL
IS AN OPEN DOOR
IM MOVING AHEAD
NOT SURE OF THE WAY
AND YET THERES A LIGHT THAT IM HEADING FOR

MAN 1
ITS CLOSER THAN EVER

WOMAN 1
CLOSER THAN EVER

MAN 2
CLOSER THAN EVER

WOMAN 2
CLOSER THAN EVER

ALL
CLOSER AND CLOSER AND CLOSER AND CLOSER
AND

MAN 2 and WOMAN 1

EVRY DAY ANOTHER DOOR

WOMAN 2
DOORS TO A PLACE THAT NO ONE KNOWS

MAN 1
DOORS THAT ARE OPNINGS
DOORS THAT CLOSE

WOMAN 2
DOORS THAT YOU PASS THROUGH EVRY DAY

MAN 1
TURN INTO DOORS THAT BAR THE WAY

ALL
DOORS TO KEEP OUT THE CHILL OF NIGHT
DOORS TO KEEP SECRETS LOCKED UP TIGHT
JUST WHEN YOU HAVE THINGS SET
WHEN ITS ALL IN PLACE
WHEN YOUR LIFE IS GOOD
THERES ANOTHER ...

WOMEN
DOOR

From left to right: George Dvorsky, Christiane Noll, Sal Viviano, Jenn Colella

MEN
DOORWAYS ARE GOOD
THEY CAN BE ENLIGHTENING
DOORWAYS CAN CHANGE YOU,
WHICH ISNT FRIGHTENING
SO TELL ME WHY MY STOMACH IS TIGHTENING
LOOKING AT ANOTHER DOOR
A DOOR

WOMEN
DOORS CAN BE WIDE, YES, THAT CAN BE VERIFIED
MOVING OUTSIDE, THE AIR CAN BE RAREFIED
I WANT TO GO BUT WHY AM I TERRFIED
LOOKING AT ANOTHER DOOR?

MAN 1 and WOMAN 2

WHATS ON THE OTHER SIDE YES WHAT?

MAN 2 and WOMAN 1

SOMETHING I WANT AND HAVENT GOT

MAN 1 and WOMAN 2

OVER THE THRESHOLD, THERES MY SHOT

MAN 2 and WOMAN 1

WILL I GO IN THERE?

ALL
I WILL NOT
MAYBE A BRAND NEW JOB AWAITS
TWENTY OR THIRTY DIFFRENT FATES
ILL BE IN CHARGE AT LAST
GET MY LIFE IN SHAPE
AND WHEN ALL THAT ENDS
THERES ANOTHER DOOR
WHATS IN THE SKIES FROM BOSTON TO FLORIDA?
HIGH RISES RISING, EACH BEING HORRIDER
WHAT HITS YOUR EYES AS YOU HIT A CORRIDOR?
NOTHING BUT A WALL OF DOORS

WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE TO SEE

WHAT IS HIDING THERE?
ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE JUST COINCIDING THERE
WHAT KINDS OF SECRET LIVES ARE RESIDING THERE
LINING UP BEHIND THOSE DOORS?

WOMAN 1
WHATS GOING ON INSIDE THOSE ROOMS?

MEN
KINKY BEHAVIOR ONE PRESUMES

WOMAN 2
HERE THERES A SPINSTER WITH HER CATS

MAN 2
NEXT DOOR, A KID WHO SLEEPS ON MATS

MAN 1 and WOMAN 2

HERE THERES A FAMLY BLAND AS PIE

MAN 2 and WOMAN 1

NEXT DOOR A GIRL WHOS ONCE A GUY

ALL
WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE TO BUY
SOME ELECTRIC EYE
THAT WOULD LET YOU SPY
ON WHATS BEHIND THOSE
PEOPLE YOU NEVER MET
WHO ARE NOT LIKE YOU
WHO ARE JUST LIKE YOU
ARE BEHIND THOSE.
JUST WHEN YOU HAVE THINGS SET
WHEN ITS ALL IN PLACE
WHEN YOUR LIFE IS GOOD
THERES ANOTHER DOOR
EVERY DAY ANOTHER DOOR

2. SHE LOVES ME NOT

MAN 1
SHE LOVES ME NOT
SHE DOESNT LOVE ME
SHE THINKS NOT HIGHLY OF ME
IT CANT BE TRUE
THERES SOME CONFUSION
IF I LOVE HER HOW CAN SHE LOVE ME NOT?
IF I LOVE HER
SHE OUGHT TO LOVE ME

WOMAN 2
HE LOVES ME NOT
HE DOESNT LOVE ME
HE THINKS NOT HIGHLY OF ME
IT CANT BE TRUE
THERES SOME CONFUSION
IF I LOVE HIM HOW CAN HE
NOT LOVE ME?

MAN 1
ALL RIGHT SHE ISNT IN LOVE
SO SHE CANT EVEN STAND ME
SHED NEVER HOLD ME
MY MOTHER HAS OFTEN TOLD ME
IF SOMETHING ENDS IN A MESS
JUST SAY IVE LEARNED MY LESSON
I SWEAR, ILL NEVER, NEVER FALL IN LOVE
UNLESS SOMEONE ELSE LOVES ME
YET ISNT IT NICE TO DREAM

WOMAN 2
IF I COULD REACH OUT
AND HOLD HIS HAND
HED SMILE
THEN HE WOULD KNOW I LOVE HIM

THEN HE WOULD GLADLY TAKE MY LOVE

I KNOW HE WANTS TO SAY
THAT HE LOVES ME

MAN 1
IF I COULD ONLY REACH OUT
AND HOLD HER HAND
IM SURE SHED LOVE ME
IM SURE SHE COULD
BUT I GIVE LOVE
FOR WHAT?

WOMAN 2
BUT WHAT DOES HE SAY
HE SAYS HE

MAN 2
HE LOVES ME NOT
HE DOESNT LOVE ME
HE THINKS NOT
HIGHLY OF ME
IT CANT BE TRUE
THERES SOME
CONFUSION
IF I LOVE HIM
HOW CAN
HE LOVE ME NOT

MAN 1
POOR ME

I GUESS IVE LOST THE WAR

WHATS LIVING FOR?
MUST I SIT ALONE
AND WASTE AWAY CRYING
ID RATHER DIE
THAN SAY MY LOVE
LOVES ME NOT

WOMAN 2

MAN 1

HE SAYS HE ISNT IN LOVE

HE KNOWS I DONT BELIEVE IT
HE KNOWS I HAVE THE FEVER

YET SHE LOVES

HE KNOWS THAT ILL

NEVER LEAVE HIM
EVEN IF HE DIDNT CARE
ID BE THERE
WAVING A BANNER TO HIM
THOUGH I KNOW
HE LOVES ME NOT

ALL

MAN 2
YET HE LOVES
ME NOT

3. YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND

MAN 2

MAN 1

YOURE SO GOOD
YOURE TOO GOOD FOR ME YOU ARE
YOURE THE BEST DAMN PERSON
I HAVE KNOWN BY FAR
IF I COULD
YOU KNOW ID NEVER THROW THIS CURVE
YOURE A GODDESS
AND IM NOT WHAT YOU DESERVE
WHAT I AM SAYING IS
OUR THING MUST END
BUT THOUGH IT MUST
I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND

MY LIFE IS YOURS

WOMAN 1

WOMAN 2

Friend? Friend?
YOU WANNA BE MY FRIEND?
YOU WANNA BE MY FRIEND?
WELL, THATS NICE
YOU WANNA BE MY FRIEND

MEN
HE/SHE LOVES ME NOT
ITS BEST TO FACE IT
ITS GONE

WOMAN 2
ITS GONE
AND WHO CAN TRACE IT

MAN 2
HE OUGHT TO LOVE ME

MY LIFES YOURS

MAN 2
MY LIFE IS YOURS

ALL
FOR THE ASKING

WOMAN 2
AND YET HE LOVES

I HAVE FRIENDS I KNOW FROM COLLEGE

HIGH SCHOOL PALS THAT I STILL SEE
I HAVE SISTERS IN SORORTIES
CROSS THE COUNTRY FOND OF ME
TWO CHUMS THAT DATE FROM GRADE SCHOOL

ONE WHOLE FAMLY FROM ST. PAUL

THERE ARE KIDS I KNOW FROM SUMMER CAMP
WHO STILL GIVE ME A CALL
I HAVE FRIENDS FROM WHEN I LIVED IN PARIS
AND MY SINGLES CRUISE
I HAVE FIVE OLD BOYFRIENDS
WHO STILL CALL ME UP TO SCHMOOZE
I HAVE BUDDIES FROM THE LAB IN BOSTON
COLLEAGUES FROM THE ZOO
I HAVE GOT AN AUNT IN CLEVELAND
THAT I ALWAYS CAN TURN TO
I GOT ENOUGH FRIENDS!!!!

MAN 2
Perhaps I should be going

WOMAN 1
You stay right here!
YOU WANNA BE MY FRIEND?
YOU WANNA BE MY FRIEND?
WELL, IM TOUCHED
HE WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND
I WANT A LOVER AND A HUSBAND
AND A PARTNER AND A SPOUSE
I WANT SOMEONE TO SPLIT EXPENSES WITH ME
ON A SUMMER HOUSE
I WANT A FATHER FOR MY UNBORN CHILDREN
SOMEONE WHOS IN TUNE
AND SINCE ILL BE THIRTY-NINE NEXT MONTH
I WANT HIM RATHER SOON
I WANT SOMEONE TO BUY RUGS AND LAMPS WITH
SOMEONE WHOLL CO-SIGN
I WANT A SMALL JOINT BANK ACCOUNT
IN HIS NAME AND IN MINE
I NEED SOMEONE I CAN FIGHT WITH

LEARN TO COOK WITH

LOVE TO FEED
COME TO THINK OF IT
THERES ONLY ONE THING THAT I DO NOT NEED:
I DONT NEED ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

MAN 2
I really think I

WOMAN 1
You stay right there!

MAN 2
I deserve this, youre right. Youre such a wonderful
person and Im

WOMAN 1
I DONT NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU IM PERFECT
THEN END UP ALL WET
I AM TIRED OF BEING THE GREATEST GIRL
A MAN HAS EVER MET
But I dont want to make a commitment to you
HA! CANT YOU SEE?
YOU DONT WANT TO TELL THE TRUTH, OH NO
YOU JUST WANT OUT FROM ME
YES, I KNOW INSIDE YOURE FRAGILE
YES, YOUR MOTHER WAS A MESS
IF THATS WHY
YOU CANT RECEIVE A WOMANS LOVE
I COULD CARE LESS
I DONT NEED TO KNOW ITS YOUR FAULT
HAVE SOME BALLS
IT DOESNT FIT
YOURE NOT SICK, DEPRIVED,
MISUNDERSTOOD OR WEAK
YOURE JUST A SHIT
And you wanna be my friend?

Whod want you as a friend?

Say, is my name on this lease?

WHAT KIND OF FEELINGS MAKE A MAN BLIND?

WHAT KIND GUY GOES OUT OF HIS MIND WITH LOVE?

MAN 2

I DECIDED THAT ID LEARNED MY LESSON

I REJOINED ALL THE SENSIBLE MEN
NOW NO MATTER HOW TEMPTING THE WOMEN
I WONT EVER GO CRAZY AGAIN

Huh?

WOMAN 2
Is my name on this lease?

MAN 2
Yeah.

WOMAN 2
Then get out of my apartment!
Git!

4. WHAT AM I DOING?
MAN 1
SHE WAS SUCH AN INCREDIBLE WOMAN
AND ONE NIGHT WE BOTH SET OURSELVES FREE
I COULD FEEL ALL THE POWER INSIDE HER
AND SHE SEEMED TO RELEASE IT TO ME
THEN SHE SUDDENLY SAID I CANT SEE HER
AND THE THOUGHT OF IT DROVE ME INSANE
SO I FIND UP A TREE I AM CREEPING
TO THE ROOF OVER WHERE SHE IS SLEEPING
AND I SIT THERE ALL NIGHT IN THE RAIN
AND IM THINKING
WHAT AM I DOIN UP ON A ROOF?
WHAT AM I DOING OUT IN THE RAIN?
WHAT KIND OF FEELINGS MAKE A MAN BLIND?
WHAT AM I DOING OUT OF MY MIND WITH LOVE?
And her father and my father are down on the
lawn and theyre shouting:
WHAT IS HE DOIN UP ON A ROOF?
WHAT IS HE DOIN OUT IN THE RAIN?

WHEN IM SAFE AND ALONE IN MY BEDROOM

THANKING GOD IM NOT SHAKING AND WET
I THINK BACK TO THE NIGHT I FELT TINGLES
HOLDING TIGHT NOT TO SLIDE DOWN THE SHINGLES
FEELING FEELINGS ILL NEVER FORGET
AND I WISH I WAS SAYING:
WHAT AM I DOIN UP ON A ROOF?
WHAT AM I DOIN OUT IN THE RAIN?
WHAT KIND OF FEELINGS MAKE A MAN BLIND?
WHAT AM I DOIN OUT OF MY MIND WITH
WHAT AM I DOIN TAILING HER CAR?
WHAT AM I DOIN INSIDE HER BUSHES?
WHAT AM I DOINCOVERED WITH MUD?
WHAT AM I DOIN OUT OF MY MIND WITH LOVE,
WITH LOVE
WHAT AM I DOIN?
WHAT AM I DOIN STEALIN HER SCARF?
WHAT AM I DOIN SNIFFIN HER PERFUME?
WHAT AM I DOIN SIFTIN HER TRASH?
WHAT AM I DOIN TESTIN HER DOORKNOB
DIALIN HER PHONE
TRAMPLING HER TULIPS
BUGGIN HER FRIENDS
PETTIN HER DOG?
OH! WHAT AM I DOIN
OUT OF MY MIND WITH LOVE
WHAT AM I DOIN OUT OF MY MIND
WITH LOVE?

5. THE BEAR, THE TIGER,

THE HAMSTER AND THE MOLE
WOMAN 2
STOP!
ALL RIGHT, THATS IT!
THATS THE ONE THAT DOES IT
IVE HAD IT WITH THAT SONG AND DANCE
A MAN MUST THIS AND A WOMAN MUST THAT
TILL RELATIONSHIPS DONT STAND A CHANCE
IM SORRY TO SHOUT
BUT IM UP TO HERE
WITH ALL THAT CRAP ABOUT MAN AND WIFE
FOR I THANK GOD AM A SCIENTIST
AND I KNOW THE REAL FACTS OF LIFE
LIKE A SOUL POSSESSED
I HAVE STUDIED AND ASSESSED
THE CREATURES OF THIS EARTH
AND FROM MOOSE TO EEL
WHAT MY STUDIES MOST REVEAL
IS THE MALES INFLATED WORTH
FOR IN MOST OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM
THE LADIES ONLY SELDOM NEED MEN
THEIR DEALINGS ARE STRAIGHT
THEY MEET THEM TO MATE
AND NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
THE BEAR, THE TIGER, THE HAMSTER AND THE MOLE
HAVE FEMALES WHO LIVE FRUITFUL LIVES
OUTSIDE OF MALE CONTROL
FOR ONE MINDLESS SPASM
THEY ALLOW THE MALE HIS ROLE
THATS MARRIAGE FOR THE TIGER, BEAR AND HAMSTER

NOW THE MOLE, WHOS BLIND

WILL NEVER BE CONFINED
TO ONE MALE SHES MERELY FELT
ONCE HIS SEED IS SOWN
SHE HAS HER BABES ALONE
IN THE HOLE WHERE THE MALE MOLE DWELT
AND AS FOR THE BOA CONSTRICTOR
SHE NEEDS NO MORE THAN ONE MALE RESPONSE
FOR WHEN IT APPEARS
SHE STORES IT FOR YEARS
TO USE WHENEVER SHE WANTS
THE RAY, THE RHINO, THE PENGUIN AND THE TERN
THOSE FEMALES KNOW THAT MOTHERHOOD
IS NOT A MALE CONCERN
OF COURSE THEYRE NOT HUMAN,
BUT THEY SHOW WHAT WE CAN LEARN
THEY POINT THE WAY, THE RHINO, RAY AND PENGUIN
IN A FIELD OR BROOK
ALMOST ANYWHERE YOU LOOK
ARE MOTHERS ON THEIR OWN
IN THE DEEP, ON HIGH
MOTHERS KISS THEIR MATES GOOD-BYE
AND THEY RAISE THEIR YOUNG ALONE
NOW I MAKE NO BRIEF FOR THE MANTIS
WHO DECAPITATES HER MATE DURING SEX
BUT I DO LIKE THE AUK
WHO MATES WITH A SQUAWK
AND THEN THROWS ROCKS AT HER EX
THE BITCH, THE VIXEN, THE QUEEN BEE AND THE SHREW
WHAT MEN HAVE DONE TO THOSE FINE WORDS
WE NEVER CAN UNDO
THEYRE STRONG WORKING MOTHERS

YES THEYRE JUST LIKE ME AND YOU

LETS REDEFINE THE SHREW, THE BITCH AND VIXEN
AND BELIKE THE SEAGULL
ROAM FREEAS THE LYNX
AND CRUISELIKE THE CARIBOUSIF WE CHOOSE
AND NOT HAVE TO WAIT FOR THOSE SLY LITTLE WINKS
FROM SOME MAN WHO ENVIES THE SEX LIFE OF MINKS
AND NOT HAVE TO GUESS IF HES ONE OF THE FINKS
OR WHETHER HE DRINKS
OR WHETHER HE STINKS
OR WHAT HE THINKS
OF ME
NOW, OF COURSE IF FATE
SHOULD PUT UPON MY PLATE
THAT QUINTESSENTIAL MALE
I WOULD STICK LIKE GLUE
YES, I WOULD BE AS TRUE
AS ANY BEAVER, OWL OR WHALE
BUT TILL THEN ILL ENVY THE OYSTER
WHO LIVES A HAPPY LIFE ON THE SHELF
WHEN SHE WANTS A TERM
SHE RELEASES SOME SPERM
AND FERTILIZES HERSELF
THE HARE, THE CONDOR, THE GUPPY AND THE BREAM
THEYRE ALL OUT THERE DOING
WHAT HUMANS ONLY DREAM
COME MARCH TOWARD THE FUTURE
ON MY SCIENTIFIC TEAM
FOR NOW THAT YOUVE SEEN AND CAN COMPARE
WHY ANYONE WITH THE WILL TO DARE
CAN FOLLOW THE TIGER AND THE BEAR
AND HAMSTER
AND MOLE
AND ME!

6. ILL GET UP TOMORROW

MORNING
MAN 2
IM LATE FOR WORK,
OF COURSE THE CAR WONT START
THE BRAND NEW D.V.R. JUST FELL APART
I MEET MY BOSS WITH COFFEE ON MY PANTS
MY WIFE ANNOUNCES SHE WANTS MORE ROMANCE
BUT DOES THE ODD CATASTROPHE AMAZE ME?
OH NO, MERE CATACLYSM DOESNT FAZE ME
ILL GET UP TOMORROW MORING
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
AND GO ON
WHEN PROBLEMS COME MY WAY, AS WELL THEY MUST
IM PROUD TO SAY I NOW HOW TO ADJUST
MY TEN YEAR OLDS BEST FRIEND IS SMOKING POT
THE ROOF WILL COST TEN GRAND I HAVENT GOT
MY DAUGHTER SAYS THE ACTING BUG JUST BIT HER
MY TEENAGE SON IS SLEEPING WITH THE SITTER
ILL GET UP TOMORROW MORNING
MAKE A GREAT BIG BULL SHOT
DRINK IT
AND GO ON
AND THEN, OF COURSE THERES MY AMAZING WIFE
THAT MYSTERY WOMAN TIED TO ME FOR LIFE
I NEVER KNOW WHOLL GREET ME AT MY HOUSE
THE BROKER OF THE MONTH OR MINNIE MOUSE
SHE SAYS SHE LOVES HER JOB, AND I BELIEVE HER
AND THEN SHE TAKES A CLASS
AND SHES THIS.WEAVER
ILL GET UP TOMORROW MORNING
SAY THE PAST IS PRELUDE

STAY LOOSE, DROP A QUAALUDE

AND GO ON

I WAS IN SOMEONES ARMS, IN SOMEONES BED

OH, WHAT THE THOUGHT OF IT DOES TO MY HEAD

AT TIMES I THINK THAT I AM RATHER BRAVE

FOR SMILING AS I NEAR AN EARLY GRAVE
BUT I DO NOT WANT POINTS FOR HAVING HOPE
I HAVE THIS LITTLE TRICK THAT HELPS ME COPE
IT ISNT AVANT-GARDE OR EVEN TRENDY
ITS JUST THIS ONE MANS MODUS OPERANDI:
NO MATTER HOW MY STOMACH MAY BE CHURNING
OR WHAT NEW LESSON IM AGAIN RE-LEARNING
ILL GET UP TOMORROW MORNING
TAKE A HOT BATH, DO MY PUSH-UPS
FEED THE PUPPIES, EAT MY OAT BRAN
THROW UP
AND GO ONNNNNNNNNNN.AAAAAGH

IF ITS TRUE A BIRD MAKES MUSIC

WHEN HER HEART TAKES WING
THIS BIRD IS SINGING
MISS BYRD IS SINGING
IM SINGING, IM IN LOVE!
BUT IM NOT SAYIN A THING
UH ... UH! ...
HMM ... HMM ...
OOOH ... OOOH ...

7. MISS BYRD
WOMAN 1
THE SIGN SAYS IM MISS BYRD
AND THATS MY NAME
IM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
WHO ALL LOOK THE SAME
AT WORK IM HARDLY SEEN
I COME AND GO
BUT I KNOW SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE DONT KNOW
EVERYONE WHO SEES ME THINKS
THAT IM THAT DULL MISS BYRD
I COULD BLOW THAT MYTH APART
BUT I DONT SAY A WORD
I SIT HERE AT MY DESK
AND NO ONE KNOWS
NOT TWENTY MINUTES AGO
I WAS NOT WEARING CLOTHES

DOWN IN APARTMENT A
THE SUPERS APTLY NAMED
LAST WEEK I WENT TO THE BASEMENT
MORE HOURS THAN I CLAIMED
HE SAYS IM SUPER TOO
HE CALLS ME HOT -I SHOW THOSE BASEMENT APARTMENTS A LOT
BACK AT WORK IM CRISP AND FRESH
RELIABLE MISS BYRD
SEALS ARE DANCING IN MY FLESH
BUT I DONT SAY A WORD
IM SHOWING PENTHOUSE C
AS I BEGIN
I STILL FEEL HIS HANDS SLIDING OVER MY SKIN
MY NIPPLES START TO THROB
INSIDE MY BRA
THATS WHEN I START TO GO LA-DAH-DI-DAH
IF YOUVE NEVER FELT THE LIFT
A LITTLE LUNCH CAN BRING
THIS BIRD IS SINGING
MISS BYRD IS SINGING
IM SINGING, IM ON FIRE!
BUT IM NOT SAYING A THING

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE

My Spanish Harlem me hombre guappo
THIS IS A FLOOR-THRU FIVE
I CALL IT MORE A SIX
THE BROKEN KITCHENETTE TILES THEY WILL FIX
LOTS OF GIRLS WHO FIRST SEEM SHY
HAVE SECRETS I HAVE FOUND
IF YOU THINK IM SPECIAL
I SUGGEST YOU LOOK AROUND
THAT LITTLE OFFICE TEMP
WHO SEEMS SO DUMB
HOW COME A TRIP TO MACDONALDS
IS MAKING HER HUM?
AND MRS SMITH IN SALES
WHOS TURNING GRAY
WHY IS SHE SMILING THAT CURIOUS WAY?
IF ITS TRUE THE DRABBEST SONGBIRDS
COME ALIVE IN SPRING
THE BIRDS ARE SINGING
MISS BYRD IS SINGING
IM SINGING
IM IN LOVE!
BUT IM NOT SAYING A THING
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO
Mums the word
LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA
LA, LA, LA, LA, LA

8. TRANSITION 1
MAN 2
JUST WHEN YOU HAVE THINGS SET
WHEN YOUR LIFE IS GOOD
WHEN ITS ALL IN PLACE
THERES ANOTHER DOOR

9. DATING AGAIN
WOMEN
DATING AGAIN

WOMAN 2
WHAT A JOY TO BE

WOMEN
DATING AGAIN

WOMAN 1
BOY OH BOY, TO SIT THERE
CHURNING OUT THE SMALL TALK
WITH SOMEONE WHO IS ALL TALK
AND BORING

WOMAN 2
WAITING AGAIN
FOR SOME GUY ILL BE HATING AGAIN
HOW I TRY TO BE ALL POSITIVE AND PERKY
AND PRAY HES MERELY QUIRKY
IM SNORING

WOMAN 1

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard? Ungh!

Shi-ga-boo, Shi-ga-boo, Shi-ga-boo ...
Shh!

WHO FIXED ME UP WITH HIM?

WISHING AGAIN
IM NOT FORCED TO GO
FISHING AGAIN

Sssssss!

WOMEN
IM DIVORCED AND SO
IM SITTING SMILING VAINLY

AT SOMEONE WHOS SO PLAINLY

MISTER WRONG

WOMAN 2

WOMAN 1

MAN 1

HIS EYES START TO GLOW THERE

AND ALSO, DID I MENTION WHAT ITS COSTING

WOMAN 2

WOMAN 2

I THINK I DONT WANNA GO THERE

Sixty dollars!

WOMAN 1

MEN

THIS WAS OVER AT HELLO THERE

LETS DANCE

SEE YOU AT EIGHT

WOMEN
IM DATING AGAIN
SINGING THAT OLD SINGLE GIRLS SONG

OH GOD, IM DATING AGAIN

YES, IM NERVOUS
TO BE DATING AGAIN

MAN 2

MEN

Hello, you must be Tiffany

DATING SERVICE
SAYS SHES AGILE AS A FENCER
AND SMART ENOUGH FOR MENSA
WELL, THEYRE WRONG

MEN
DATING AGAIN

MAN 1
HOLY SMOKES I AM

MEN
DATING AGAIN

MAN 2

Lobster!

MAN 2

MAN 2
I FEEL A TINGLE

MAN 1
BUT IM WONDERIN WHILE WE MINGLE

MAKIN JOKES
AS I INVITE HER TO SOME GUY PLACE
THEN LURE HER BACK TO MY PLACE
EXHAUSTING

MEN

WOMAN 1

MEN

(Laughs)

IM DATING AGAIN
SINGING THAT OLD SINGLE GUYS SONG

MAN 1
SKATING AGAIN
ON THIN ICE
TO THINK OF MATING AGAIN
ISNT NICE
THERES ALL THAT GET TO KNOW YOU TENSION

WHYS SHES FORTY AND STILL SINGLE?

MAN 2
LETS DANCE

WOMEN
DATING AGAIN

MEN
(DATING AGAIN)

WOMEN
FINDING SOMEONES TICS
GRATING AGAIN

MEN
(GRATING AGAIN)

WOMEN
USING UP MY TRICKS

MAN 2
I THINK BE WARY, KIDDO
SHES SO YOUNG TO BE A WIDOW
IM FREAKING

MEN

DATING AGAIN
BEATING ALL THE DRUMS
IM DATING AGAIN
THEN THE MOMENT COMES
WHEN THAT OLD SIREN GOES OFF
AND YOU MUST TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF
OH, MY GOD!

MAN I
IM PRETTY TRIM

WOMAN 2
I KEEP IN SHAPE

MAN 2

DYING AGAIN

I JOINED A GYM

WOMEN

WOMAN 1

(DYING AGAIN)

BUT DID I TRIM ENOUGH FOR HIM?

MAN 1

ALL

THROUGH ANOTHER SNOOZER

TRYING AGAIN

LETS DANCE

MAN 2

WOMEN

I DO KARATE

(TRYING AGAIN)

MAN 1

MAN 2

BUT THIS GIRL IS SUCH A HOTTIE

NOT TO SEEM A LOSER

WOMEN

WOMAN 2

AND HES CHECKING OUT MY BODY

WILL HE FIND ME LOGY

ALL

WOMAN 1

LETS DANCE

OR SAGGY

MEN

MEN
OR A FOGY WHOS CREAKING

SAYING OH I LOVE IT
TO THINGS I REALLY DONT

ALL

WOMEN

THATS WHAT YOU THINK

WHEN YOU ARE

WONDRING IF HELL CALL ME

AND HOPING THAT HE WONT

ALL

NOT A SOUL WOULD EVER HAVE KNOWN

FAKING AGAIN
QUAKING CAUSE IM
SWEATING AGAIN
FRETTING CAUSE IM
DATING AGAIN
AND SINGING THIS HATEFUL OLD SONG

BUT I STOPPED AND SAID NO

10. ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS

MAN 1
RIGHT HERE YOU SEE
ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS
ONE OF THE NICE ONES
WITH SENSIBLE DRIVES
WHAT ELSE COULD I BE?
IM ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS
WHO PLAY WITH THEIR CHILDREN
AND DOTE ON AND PAMPER THEIR WIVES
BUT THERE WAS A NIGHT, IN HAWAII
ON A BUSINESS TRIP
THAT MY MIND HAS SUFFUSED WITH A MYSTIC GLOW
SHE WAS SOMEONES FRIEND
AND SHE HAD THIS SMILE
WE WERE ON A BEACH
AND WE WALKED AWHILE
AND I WATCHED THE WIND
BILLOW IN HER HAIR
AND I KNEW WE KNEW
THERE WAS MORE TO SHARE
I COULD FEEL THE GROUND START TO GO
LIKE VOLCANOES STARTING TO BLOW
AND THE WAVES WERE LOUD
WE WERE ALL ALONE
WE HAD LEFT THE CROWD

CAUSE THAT ISNT ME

IM ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS
ONE OF THE SMART ONES
WHOSE VIRTUE SURVIVES
FIRM AS A TREE
ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS
WHO TRADES A FLASH OF HEAT
TO BUILD A WARMER FIRE
DENIES HIMSELF A TREAT
TO SHOOT FOR SOMETHING HIGHER
AND THATS THE PART THATS SWEET
THAT ONLY THE GOOD GUYS KNOW
THATS NOT THE END
AS YOU SUSPECTED
TIME FLIPPED SOME PAGES
IM NOW FORTY-FOUR
THERES MONEY TO SPEND
THE KIDS ARE IN COLLEGE
MY WIFES BACK IN ART SCHOOL
WE JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE AT THE SHORE
BUT SOMETIMES AT NIGHT IN THE STILLNESS
LYING WIDE AWAKE
AS THE WIFE I STILL DESIRE SLEEPS BY MY SIDE
I CAN FEEL THE WASH
OF THE PERFUMED AIR
AS MY MIND IS DROWNING
IN BILLOWING HAIR
AND ALTHOUGH I KNOW
THAT MY LIFE IS BLESSED
I AM TEASED BY THOUGHTS
THAT ITS SECOND BEST
AND THE VISIONS SEETHE IN MY HEAD

OF THE LIVES THAT I COULD HAVE LED

THEY ARE ALL STILL THERE
I CAN CHANGE MY FATE
THERES NO TIME TO SPARE
I MUST FIND THEM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE
BUT I WAKE AND SAY NO
OH HELL, WHY DEFEND
ALL OF US GOOD GUYS
STRANGLING IN PLENTY
YET WHINING FOR MORE?
TRUTH IS MY FRIEND
JUST BETWEEN GOOD GUYS
ITS NOT WHICH ROAD YOU TAKE
WHICH LIFE YOU PICK TO LIVE IN
WHICHEVER CHOICE YOU MAKE
THE LONGING IS A GIVEN
AND THATS WHAT BRINGS THE ACHE
THAT ONLY THE GOOD GUYS KNOW

11. THERES NOTHING LIKE IT

MAN 2
THERES NOTHING LIKE IT
THERES NOTHING LIKE IT IN THE WORLD
THIS LOVELY FEELING OF WELL-BEING
WHAT YOURE SEEING
IS A MAN WHOS INCREDIBLY FIT
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?
THAT ONCE I WEIGHED TWO HUNDRED FIFTY
I WAS AS PUDGY AS A PIG
NOT JUST BIG
I WAS FAT, I WAS GROSS
BUT NOW IM TRIM AND NIFTY
GOD REACHED HIS HAND DOWN
AND GRANTED ME A GIFTY:
HEALTH!

Sal Viviano

WOMAN 2

WOMAN 2

I FEEL SO HEALTHY

(I BOUGHT THE SWEATSUIT)

MAN 2
(THERES NOTHING LIKE IT IN THE WORLD)

MAN 1

WOMAN 2

MAN 2

AND YOU CAN BET

THE MOMENT I ZIP UP MY SWEATER

(I BOUGHT THE SNORKEL)

MAN 2

... GAVE UP COKE

(WOW!)

WOMAN 2

WOMAN 2

(I BOUGHT THE WETSUIT)

I FEEL BETTER

MAN 2
POW!

WOMAN 2 and MAN 2

ITS SO GREAT TO FEEL FIT! THIS IS IT!

MAN 1
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT

WOMAN 2 and MAN 2

(THERES NOTHING LIKE IT)

... BOUGHT SOME WEIGHTS ...

MAN 1

MAN 1
JOINED A GYM ...

MAN 2 and WOMAN 2

(THATS WHEN OUR PSYCHES)

MAN 1
BOUGHT A BIKE ...

MAN 2 and WOMAN 2

(BEGAN TO FEED US)

MAN 1
... LEARNED TO SWIM ...

MAN 1

MAN 2 and WOMAN 2

TWO YEARS AGO I FELT A CHEST PAIN

(WE BOUGHT THE NIKES)

WOMAN 2 and MAN 2

(THERES NOTHING LIKE IT)

MAN 1
... LEARNED TO HIKE ...

MAN 1

MAN 2 and WOMAN 2

I HEARD MY DOCTOR MENTION STROKE

(AND THE ADIDAS)

MAN 2

WOMAN 1

(I BOUGHT THE GYM SHORTS)

MAN 1
... AND I BROKE ...

BOUGHT A SCALE
WHICH SHOWED I HAD TO
TAKE CONTROL BELOW
AND SO I DUG OUT MY MOMS JANE FONDA

HAVE YOU NOTICED

THAT IN THE FONDA FAMILY
JANE IS THIN
AND PETERS THIN
AND HANK WAS THIN?
THEYRE JUST THIN
AND THEYVE ALWAYS BEEN
THE FONDAS
ARE THIN PEOPLE!

WOMEN

MEN and WOMAN 2

WOMEN

(ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO,

ONE AND TWO AND YOUNG, TOO
ONE AND TWO AND YOUNG, TOO
WONDER IF IM GETTING YOUNGER
YOUNGER, YOUNGER, YOUNGER,
YOUNGER, YOUNGER, YOUNG)

(AS I PERSPIRE)

MEN
FULL OF BEANS

WOMEN
(MY FUTURES BRIGHTER)

MEN
HOTTER BLOOD
(MY BREASTS ARE HIGHER)

MEN
TIGHTER JEANS

WOMEN
(MY BUNS ARE TIGHTER)

ALL

ALL

THERES NOTHING LIKE IT

THERES NOTHING LIKE IT IN THE WORLD
IT MUST BE WONDERFUL TO WITNESS
ALL THIS FITNESS
HOW WE WISH WE WERE YOU WATCHING US

NOW LIFE IS FUN AND FREE OF ALL THOSE TENSIONS

TILL I RUN INTO THE THING NOBODY MENTIONS:
PAIN ... UHN!
PAIN ... UHN!
PAIN

MEN

MAN 1

WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?

WOMEN

PAIN, I FEEL PAIN

IN MY CALVES IN MY THIGHS

(WOULD YOU BELIEVE THIS TURN OF FATE)

OTHERS

MEN

(PAIN!)

ONCE I WAS NOT CONSIDERED SEXY

MAN 1

WOMEN
(THAT ONCE I COULD NOT GET A DATE)

IN MY HEART, IN MY BLOOD
POUNDING DEEP IN MY EYES

MEN

OTHERS

NOW IM CONSIDERED QUITE THE STUD

(PAIN!)

MAN 1 and WOMAN 1

WELL, ITS GOOD WHEN YOU HURT
YES, ITS GOOD WHEN YOU STRIVE

OTHERS
(PAIN!)

MAN 1 and WOMAN 1

WHEN YOU HURT, YOURE AWAKE
WHEN YOU ACHE, YOURE ALIVE

OTHERS
(PAIN!)

ALL
I READ IN A BOOK, THAT THE PAIN THAT YOU FEEL
IS THE RIGHT SORT OF PAIN,
ITS THE PROOF THAT YOURE REAL
IVE READ ALL THE BOOKS AND I LIVE THEM ALL DAY
AND IVE HEARD WHAT THEY WROTE
AND ALL I CAN SAY IS
BULLSHIT!
BULLSHIT!!!
HUSH, NOW
WHATS THIS RUSH NOW?
AFTER TORTURING MY BOD
CAN IT BE THERES A GOD AFTER ALL?

MAN 1 and WOMAN 2

I THINK IM BREAKING THROUGH THE WALL
AND ALL AT ONCE IM STANDING TALL

MAN 2 and WOMAN 1

I CAN FEEL MY BACKBONE LENGTHEN

ALL
SHOULDERS STRAIGHTEN
HEARTBEAT STRENGTHEN
LOOK THERE

THE HOME STRETCH

IM FILLED WITH GRACE
FROM FACING THE ODDS
THE THRILL OF THE CHASE
AS I RACE WITH THE GODS
IS LIKE NOTHING IN THE WORLD
AND I AM NEVER GROWING OLD
AND I AM GOING FOR THE GOLD
AND MY LIFE STORY WILL BE SOLD
CAUSE IM LIKE NOTHING IN THE WORLD

12. LIFE STORY

WOMAN 2
IT WAS A LIBERATED MARRIAGE
WE SHARED THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES OF COURSE
WE UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHERS FEELINGS
RIGHT DOWN TO THE DAY OF
OUR SENSIBLE DIVORCE
I DIDNT ASK HIM FOR A PENNY
ID HAD MY LIBERATED TRAINING
SO OFF HE WENT WITH HIS HAIR OF BRONZE
TO FIND A LIFE LIKE KAHLIL GIBRANS
I GOT MY REST FROM THE DRUGS HE DID
HE GOT HIS QUEST, I GOT THE KID
AND OH -IM NOT COMPLAINING
SO I SET OFF TO BE A WRITER
A MODERN MOTHER ON HER OWN
I WROTE UP HAPPENINGS AT GALLRIES
TURNED DOWN JOBS WITH SALRIES
STAYED FREE-LANCE AND ALONE
I FOUGHT THE BATTLES OF THE SIXTIES
WHICH, YOU RECALL, WERE RATHER DRAINING

WHEN MEN WERE THICK, I HIT THE FRAY

BECAME A PRICK, GOT EQUAL PAY
I FACED DOWN CHAUVINISTIC SLOBS
I WON THE FIGHTS, IMPROVED THE JOBS
AND OH -IM NOT COMPLAINING
MY HUSBAND FOUND HIMSELF HIS ASHRAM
LOST FORTY POUNDS AND WENT THROUGH HELL
THEN ONE DAY HE CAME BACK FROM LIMBO
FOUND HIMSELF SOME BIMBO
AND MOVED TO NEW ROCHELLE
I RAISED MY SON AND I HAD LOVERS
MY CHOICES SOMETIMES TAKE EXPLAINING
ID MEET SOME JOCK, MY FRIENDS WOULD SCOFF
HED STAY AWHILE, ID DRIVE HIM OFF
I KEPT MY SPACE, PRESERVED MY TURF
SIX MONTHS ID SEND HIM BACK TO SURF
AND OHH -I WAS NOT COMPLAINING
SO NOW MY SONS HALF WAY THOUGH COLLEGE
I PAY TUITION LIKE A FINE
IM STILL THIS FEISTY FREE-LANCE WRITER
RESUME WELL-HONED
AT A WELL TONED FORTY-NINE
I FIND THAT GETTING WORK IS HARDER
EACH JOB I WANT TAKES MORE COMPAIGNING
AND THOSE SWEET YOUNG THINGS
WHO HIRE ME NOW
THOSE M.B.A.S MAKING NINETY THOU
WHO SMILE AND ASK WHAT I HAVE DONE
WHEN THEY GOT THEIR JOBS FROM THE FIGHTS I WON

Christiane Noll

Aww,
They should all stay home and have babies!
BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING

AND IN THE EVENING AT MY WINDOW

AS I WATCH JERSEY GROWING DIM
SUMMED UP IN THIS NOTION:
I WISH ID STAYED WITH HIM
LORD KNOWS EACH DAY WITH HIM WAS MADNESS
AS I HAVE SPENT MY LIFE MAINTAINING
BUT MORE AND MORE I RECALL THE JOY
MY GOLDEN DREAMER MY
BOYEMOTION
I FEEL LOST
A TROUBLING
OUR LIFE WAS LIFE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE
BUT NO WORSE THAN A LIFE ALONE
AND OH -WELL, I CHOSE MY WAY
AND IM NOT COMPLAINING

13. NEXT TIME/

I WOULDNT GO BACK
MAN 2
SHES AT YOUR DOOR
ARE YOUR EYES DECEIVING YOU?
YOUR LIFE TAKES OFF
AND THERES NO RETRIEVING YOU
THEN THERES THE DOOR
THAT SHUTS AS SHES LEAVING YOU
DOORS
LAST NIGHT MY DREAM COLLAPSED AROUND MY EARS
BUT THATS NO REASON TO GO ROUND IN TEARS
ILL START ANOTHER DREAM THIS MINUTE
WITHOUT HER IN IT
AND NEXT TIME, THE STARS WILL SING TO ME
NEXT TIME, THE GIRL WILL CLING TO ME

NEXT TIME LIKE PERFECT LOVERS WELL BE

THIS TIME, I PLANNED IT BADLY
BUT ILL DO BETTER
NEXT TIME
NEXT TIME
NEXT TIME
YET WE BEGAN IN SUCH A PERFECT WAY
AND STRINGS OF NEXT TIMES DONT MAKE ONE TODAY
WHAT DREAM IS WORTH THE FIGHT TO WIN IT?
IF SHES NOT IN IT
FOR NEXT TIME
CANT BE AS SWEET OR AS TENDER
OR PROMISE HALF OF THE SPLENDOR
THAT THIS TIME PROMISED TO ME
NEXT TIME IS SELF-DECEPTION
WHAT I WANT NOW IS THIS TIME
THIS TIME

MAN 1 and WOMEN

AH, AH, AH
AH, AH, AH
AH, AH, AH
AH, AH, AH

MAN 2
THIS TIME

MAN 1 and WOMEN

THIS TIME THE STARS
WILL SING TO ME

MAN 2
THIS TIME

MAN 1 and WOMEN

THIS TIME MY LOVE WILL
CLING TO ME

MAN 2

WOMAN 2

THIS TIME

NEXT TIME

ALL

ALL

LIKE PERFECT LOVERS WELL BE

MAN 2
NEXT TIME

MAN 1 and WOMEN

(NEXT TIME)

MAN 2

NOW!
EVERYDAY ANOTHER DOOR

MAN 2 and WOMAN 2

EVERYDAY ANOTHER

MAN 1
EVERYDAY ANOTHER

IS SELF DECEPTION
WHAT I WANT NOW IS THIS TIME

MAN 2 and WOMAN 2

MAN 1 and WOMEN

WOMAN 1

EVERYDAY ANOTHER

AH, AH, AH

EVERYDAY ANOTHER

MAN 2

MAN 2 and WOMAN 2

AND SOMEHOW

EVERYDAY ANOTHER

MAN 1 and WOMEN

ALL

AH, AH, AH

EVERYDAY ANOTHER DOOR

MAN 2

WOMAN 1

ILL HAVE

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW
IN FRONT OF ME NOW IS AN OPEN DOOR
IM MOVING AHEAD, NOT SURE OF THE WAY
AND YET THERES A LIGHT THAT IM HEADING FOR

WOMAN 1
ILL HAVE

MAN 1
ILL HAVE

WOMAN 2
ILL HAVE

MAN 2
NEXT TIME

WOMAN 1
NEXT TIME

MAN 1
NEXT TIME

NOW IF SOMEONE HAD SAID TO ME A YEAR AGO

THAT I WOULD TAKE THE TRIP IM TAKING NOW
I WOULD HAVE SAID YOURE CRAZY
I AM BETTER OFF RIGHT HERE
BUT HERE I AM AMAZED TO FIND
THAT I CAN TURN AND WALK
RIGHT THROUGH THE DOOR
AND WHAT IS MORE
I WOULDNT GO BACK
I WOULDNT GO BACK

AS STRANGE AS I FEEL
I SIMPLY COULDNT GO BACK
ILL NEVER GO BACK WHERE I WAS BEFORE

WOMEN

MAN 2

MEN

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

I WOULD HAVE SAID YOURE CRAZY

WOMAN 2

WOMAN 1

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW?

ID HAVE BURST RIGHT INTO TEARS

MAN 1

ALL

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

BUT HERE I AM PREPARED TO FACE

THE PERSON HERE IN ME I NEVER KNEW
AND SAY ITS TRUE
AND I WOULDNT GO BACK
I WOULDNT GO BACK
AS SCARED AS I AM
I SIMPLY COULDNT GO BACK
WHATEVER I HELD ONTO ONCE IS THROUGH, WELL

WOMAN 1
WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

MAN 2
THE PERSON I WAS
IS A STRANGER NOW

WOMAN 2
(IVE HIDDEN MYSELF
IN SOME REAL SAFE PLACES)

MAN 1
DONT KNOW WHATS AHEAD
OR WHERE I MUST GO

IF SOMEONE SAID A YEAR AGO

(THAT I MIGHT NEVER HAVE A LOVE AT ALL)

WOMEN
WHAD YA KNOW

MEN
WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

WOMAN 1

WOMEN

(DONT KNOW WHERE I AM

BUT NOW FOR A CHANGE)

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

MEN

MAN 1

WELL, WHAD YA KNOW

BUT WHEN THE TIMES COMES

ILL GET THROUGH SOMEHOW

WOMEN

WOMEN

MEN

(IM HERE
FACING EMPTY SPACES)

THE FIRMAMENT SPINS

WOMEN

MEN

THE GROUND IS ABOVE

NOW, IF SOMEONE HAD SAID TO ME A YEAR AGO

THAT I MIGHT NEVER HAVE A LOVE AT ALL

MEN

THE UNIVERSE SHAKES

THE SKY IS BELOW

WOMEN

MEN

IM FEELING THE BARRIERS CRUMBLE AND FALL

BUT THIS TIME

MEN

WOMEN

IM NOT EVEN SURE

WHERE IM HEADING AT ALL

ALL
IM HURTLING AHEAD AND IM HITTING A PACE
AND IM FLYING THRU TIME AND IM OUT INTO SPACE
IF SOMEONE TOLD ME EVEN JUST A WEEK AGO
THAT I WOULD FEEL THE WAY I FEEL RIGHT NOW

MEN

THE MAN WILL SING TO ME

MEN
THIS TIME, THIS TIME

WOMEN
THE MAN WILL CLING TO ME

MAN 1
SOMEHOW

I WOULD HAVE SAID IMPOSSIBLE

MAN 2

WOMEN

ILL HAVE

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS

WOMAN 2

ALL

ILL HAVE

BUT HERE I AM AMAZED TO FIND

ID TURN MY BACK ON ALL I WAS BEFORE
AND CLOSE THE DOOR

MAN 1

AND I WOULDNT GO BACK

I WOULDNT GO BACK
FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL
I KNOW I COULDNT GO BACK
ILL NEVER GO BACK,
EVER GO BACK
NOT TO WHERE I WAS BEFORE

ILL HAVE

ILL HAVE

WOMAN 1
MAN 2
NEXT TIME,

WOMAN 1
NEXT TIME

MAN 1

NEXT TIME LIKE PERFECT LOVERS WELL BE

NEXT TIME

MAN 2

WOMAN 2

NEXT TIME

MAN 1
NEXT TIME

WOMEN
NEXT TIME

NEXT TIME

ALL
NOW.

Act Two : CD2

1. THREE FRIENDS
WOMAN 2
ALICE, THE LAWYER

WOMAN 1
ANGELA, THE WRITER

MAN 2
NANCY, THE PAINTER

ALL
COULDNT HAVE BEEN TIGHTER
NO COLLEGE FRIENDS HAD

FUTURES THAT WERE BRIGHTER

NEVER APART
JOINED AT THE HEART
CAME TO NEW YORK, TOOK OFF
AND NEVER DRIFTED

MAN 2
ALICE WAS SMART

WOMAN 2
AND ANGELA WAS GIFTED

WOMAN 1
NANCY MADE ART
THAT MADE YOU FEEL UPLIFTED

Jenn Colella, Christiane Noll and George Dvorsky

ALL

WOMAN 2

THATS HOW WE STARTED

FRIENDS
WE WERE SO LUCKY, COMING HERE AS
FRIENDS
BUT WOULD WE ALWAYS BE SO?
HOW COULD WE KNOW?

NANCY MET PAUL AT PARTIES ON DELANCY

WOMAN 1
ALICE MET PAUL AT HOME IN BED WITH NANCY

ALL
WHICH TRULY STRAINED US

NANCY FOUND ANGIE SOMEONE TO EMPLOY HER

FRIENDS (uh-huh!)
IT WASNT EASY TRYING TO STAY
FRIENDS (uh-huh!)
BUT WOULD WE SORT IT ALL OUT
HOW COULD YOU DOUBT?

WOMAN 1

WOMAN 1

ALICE HUNG NANCYS PAINTING IN HER FOYER

ALICE THE LAWYER MOVED TO THE DAKOTA

ALL

WOMAN 2

MAN 2
ANGELAS DAD HIRED ALICE AS A LAWYER

WOMAN 2

AND WE COULD SEE

WE WERE STILL FRIENDS
LIKE THE FRIENDS
THAT YOUR FRIENDS OUGHTA BE

NANCY GAVE UP, WENT BACK TO MINNESOTA

ALL

SHES STILL DRUG-FREE

STILL WE WERE FRIENDS
LIKE THE FRIENDS
THAT YOUR FRIENDS OUGHTA BE

ONE YEAR LATER

WOMAN 2
ANGELA WROTE ALL DAY IN HER PAJAMAS

WOMAN 1
NANCY WAS PAINTING SCENRY AT LA MAMAS

MAN 2
ALICES CROWD TOOK TRIPS TO THE BAHAMAS

ALL
OFF ON OUR OWN
JOINED AT THE PHONE

MAN 2
ANGIE MET PAUL, TO WHOM SHE TOOK A FANCY

MAN 2
ANGELAS LIFE HAS CHANGED NOT ONE IOTA

ALL

TEN YEARS LATER

WOMAN 2
ANGELA NOW WRITES STORIES IN HER ATTIC

WOMAN 1
NANCYS A VEGETARIAN FANATIC

MAN 2
ALICE SAYS ONLY JEWS VOTE DEMOCRATIC

ALL
MEET FOR A NIGHT
BOY DO WE FIGHT

WOMAN 2

ALL

ANGELAS HUSBAND HAS THE CHARM OF NERO

THESE ARE MY FRIENDS

MAN 2

MAN 2

ALICES HUSBAND CALLS GLENN BECK A HERO

Who are these people?

WOMAN 1

ALL

EVERYONE SAYS THAT NANCYS IS A ZERO

WE ARE STILL FRIENDS

LIKE THE FRIENDS
THAT YOUR FRIENDS OUGHTA BE

ALL
BUT STILL WERE RIGHT HERE
FRIENDS
WE HAVE REUNIONS NOW
BECAUSE WERE
FRIENDS
FOR AS WE START TO GROW OLD
LIFE CAN GET COLD

WOMAN 2
SORRY IM LATE!

MAN 2
ITS WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU!

WOMAN 1

2. FANDANGO
WOMAN 2
MY POWER LUNCH IS ON
WITH MY CLIENT DOWN AT MERCK
THEN I MUST BE IN COURT
FOR A MEETING WITH THE CLERK
THE AU PAIR HAS HER CLASS
BUT STILL I CAN MAKE IT WORK
IF MAYBE
YOU TAKE THE BABY

YOURE LOOKING GREAT!

MAN 1

WOMAN 2

OH, GOD IM SYMPATHETIC

MY CLOSINGS SET FOR TWO
THE BUYERS IN FROM PHOENIX
MY PARTNER HAS THE FLU
THE FACT IS I WAS HERE
ON THE VERGE OF ASKING YOU
IF MAYBE
YOUD TAKE THE BABY

THAT I CAN GUARANTEE YOU

ALL
THOUGH IT IS TRUE I WOULDNT WANT TO BE YOU
ITS STILL US THREE
IN HARMONY
ISNT IT ALL AN IMPROBABLE PLOT
NOTHING IN COMMON, BUT LOOK WHAT WEVE GOT
I WOULDNT LIKE YOU IF FRIENDS WE WERE NOT
BUT YOU HAVE ME
THESE ARE MY FRIENDS

WOMEN
You havent changed a bit!

WOMAN 2
OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT YOUR DOINGS
REALLY VITAL STUFF
I KNOW HOW MUCH YOUR LIFES
ON THE LINE

MAN 1

BOTH

RE-STARTING YOUR CAREER

WHICH I CANT SUPPORT ENOUGH
MAKES YOUR WORK AS IMPORTANT
AS MINE

WERE TALKING MY CAREER HERE!

WOMAN 2
BUT STILL IM WONDERING
IS THERE SOME WAY

MAN 1
BUT STILL IM THINKING
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY

WOMAN 2
THAT YOU COULD JUST
ADJUST THINGS TODAY?

WOMAN 2
OKAY, IM OUT THE DOOR
I KNOW YOU CAN GET IT DONE

MAN 1
I KNOW YOULL WORK IT OUT, DEAR
I REALLY HAVE TO RUN

BOTH
WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR APPOINTMENT
I BET IT WOULD BE FUN
IF MAYBE
YOU TAKE THE BABY

WOMAN 2

MAN 1

DARLING, I KNOW TODAY IS FATEFUL

IF YOU COULD SORT OF

MANAGE TO STAY?

MAN 1

WOMAN 2
ILL MAKE YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST

MAN 1
ILL BE YOUR BESTEST FRIEND

BOTH
I NEED A LITTLE HELP HERE, OK?

WOMAN 2
IM SURE THERES NOTHING TO IT

MAN 1
A CALL OR TWO WILL DO IT

WOMAN 2
I HAVE TO MAKE IT CLEAR HERE

I KNOW THAT THIS IS HATEFUL

WOMAN 2
I KNOW YOUVE GOT A PLATEFUL

MAN 1
CANT TELL YOU HOW IM GRATEFUL

WOMAN 2
THE BOTTLES IN THE BUGGY

MAN 1
WERE DOWN TO OUR LAST HUGGIE

BOTH
THE BABYS HERE
I LOVE YOU, DEAR
GOODBYE!

3. THERE
WOMAN 1
THERE
HE WAS NEVER THERE
EVERY TIME WE TALKED
ID LOOK IN HIS EYES
AND HIS MIND WAS ... WHERE?
I DONT MEAN TO SAY
LIFE WAS GLOOM AND DOOM
THINGS WERE ALWAYS PLEASANT
IF I NEEDED HELP
HE WAS IN THE ROOM
HE JUST WASNT PRESENT
HE JUST WASNT ... THERE
NEVER REALLY THERE
I FELT SO UNHINGED
I WENT OUT AND BINGED
HAD THAT DUMB AFFAIR
STILL THE FAULTS NOT MINE
QUOTING GERTRUDE STEIN
THERE WAS JUST NO THERE THERE
THERE, THERE
DONT KNOW WHY I CARE
CEPT THAT I AM HERE
CAUSE HE WASNT

MAN 2

MAN 2
... THERE
SHE WAS ALWAYS

WOMAN 1
THERE

MAN 2
SAYING GEORGE BE..

WOMAN 1
THERE ...

MAN 2
AND MY MIND SAID WHERE?
DID I HAVE A CHOICE?
LOVE IS WORTH A FIGHT
NOT A THING YOU SQUANDER

WOMAN 1
Yoo hoo, George

MAN 2
THEN ID HEAR HER VOICE

WOMAN 1
George

MAN 2
URGENT AND UPTIGHT

WOMAN 1
Hello?

MAN 2

THERE

AND MY MIND WOULD WANDER

WOMAN 1

WOMAN 1

... THERE

Come in, George

MAN 2

MAN 2

I WAS NEVER

WOMAN 1
THERE

SO I WASNT
THERE

WOMAN 1
(COULDNT HE BE THERE?)

MAN 2

MAN 2

NEVER REALLY
THERE

(WORKED AT BEING THERE)

WOMAN 1

LONGING FOR FIRE

LIVING WITH SMOKE
ISNT A JOKE

(ONCE AN EVENING, THERE)

MAN 2
AND I FELT MALIGNED
THAT MY VAGRANT MIND
MEANT I DIDNT CARE

WOMAN 1
IT WAS CLEAR THAT HE DIDNT CARE

WOMAN 1

MAN 2
I TRIED TO GO HER WAY
WANTING THINGS IMPROVED
TIRED OF BEING NOT THERE

MAN 2

WOMAN 1

THEN TO MAKE THINGS SMOOTH

SHE WOULD TRY TO SOOTHE
STICKING IN HER THERE, THERE THERE

MAN 1

(IS IT SO HARD A TASK?)

THERE, THERE

THINK OF MY DISMAY
FINDING SHE HAD MOVED
BY THE TIME I GOT THERE

MAN 2

WOMAN 1

WOMAN 1

GOT OUT OF HER HAIR

CAUSE SHE MADE IT CLEAR
THAT I WASNT THERE

WOMAN 1
IM NOT A JERK
THOUGH ITS THE WAY I SEEM

MAN 2

(TOO MUCH TO ASK?)

MAN 2
SHE WAS OVER THERE

WOMAN 1
I WAS HERE, I WAS ALWAYS HERE

MAN 2

(WANTED TO BE THERE)

WHERE THE HELL WAS THERE?

WOMAN 1

WOMAN 1

HE HAD HIS WORK

I GAVE HIM TIME TO DREAM

THERE WAS HERE

COULD IT BE MORE CLEAR?

MAN 2

BOTH

(KNEW I SHOULD BE THERE)

GROPING LIKE THE BLIND

HOW WE HOPED TO FIND
ONE PLACE WE COULD SHARE
FAULTS WE TRIED TO HIDE

WOMAN 1
LOST MY DESIRE
WAITING TILL HE AWOKE

LIVING SIDE BY SIDE

FUNNY, WHEN THEYRE THERE, THEYRE THERE

MAKING LITTLE JOKES

TILL I RUN AWAY -- AGAIN

WOMAN 1

AND YET, TODAY I AM NOT THE SAME

I FEEL MY LIFE SLIPPING FROM ITS FRAME
STRANGE FEELINGS RISE, FEELINGS WITH NO NAME
AND I CANT FACE THEM
SO I SHAKE THEM HARD
FOLD THEM UP
AND TUCK THEM SAFELY AWAY
AGAIN

THERE, THERE
AND IT ISNT FAIR

MAN 2
NO, IT REALLY ISNT FAIR

WOMAN 1
THAT WE WIND UP HERE

MAN 2
THAT WE WIND UP HERE

BOTH
WHEN WE ONCE WERE
THERE
DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO

4. TRANSITION 2
MAN 1
ILL BE IN CHARGE AT LAST
GET MY LIFE IN SHAPE
AND WHEN ALL THAT ENDS
THERES ANOTHER

5. PATTERNS
WOMAN 2
PATTERNS IN MY LIFE THAT I TRACE EVRY DAY
PATTERNS AS I SAY THE THINGS I ALWAYS SAY
PATTERNS IN THE CEILNG AS I LIE AWAKE
WHY ARE PATTERNS HAUNTING EVRY MOVE I MAKE?
JUST LOOK, HERE I AM ON CUE, AGAIN
UPSET, FEELING TORN IN TWO, AGAIN
AFRAID, SAYING IM OKAY

PATTERNS THAT BEGIN AS I WALK THROUGH A DOOR

PATTERNS IN THE CURTAINS AND THE KITCHEN FLOOR
PATTERNS IN THE DAYS ROUTINES I MUST ARRANGE
PATTERNS IN THE WAYS I TRY -- BUT NEVER CHANGE
JUST LOOK, AS IM THROWN A CURVE AGAIN
I LEAP, THEN I LOSE MY NERVE AGAIN
IN TEARS, RUNNING HOME I GO
SECRETLY RELIEVED
SAFE WITH WHAT I KNOW -- AGAIN
AND YET I KNOW I AM NOT THE SAME
INSIDE MY HEART IS SOMETHING I CANT TAME
I FEEL MY MIND BURSTING INTO FLAME
AND I MUST CHANGE
OR ELSE ILL BREAK APART
OR BREAK AWAY
AND END UP HAVING TO START
AGAIN
PATTERNS THROUGH THE DAY
I SEEM TO USE TO GIVE MY LIFE A SHAPE
PATTERNS THROUGH THE HOUSE
THAT GIVE ME COMFORT WHEN I NEED ESCAPE
PATTERNS THAT LEAD ME NOWHERE
AT ALL

6. THERE IS SOMETHING IN
A WEDDING

WOMAN 2 and MAN 2

MAN 1

SOMETHING VERY WISE AND STRONG AND GOOD

IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING OLD

ALL

WOMAN 2
IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW

BEGINS TODAY
THERE IS SOMETHING IN A WEDDING

WOMAN 1

MAN 2

SOMETHING BORROWED
FROM THE VERY DEPTHS OF TIME

IT IS ALWAYS FOR THE CROWD

MAN 2

IT IS ALWAYS JUST FOR TWO

SOMETHING COMING FROM THE BLUE

WOMAN 1

WOMAN 1 and MAN 1

SOMETHING NOBLE THAT

TRANSCENDS TWO SEPARATE LIVES

SOMETHING THAT WE PRIZE

George Dvorsky, Christiane Noll, Sal Viviano and Jenn Colella

SOMETHING IN THEIR EYES

MAN 1 and WOMEN

WOMAN 2

MAN 1

WOMAN 1

SOMETHING MORE THAN MERELY TRUE

AND A FLOWER GIRL WALKS SLOWLY PAST YOUR KNEE

WOMEN

MAN 2 and WOMEN

SOMETHING THAT DEPARTS

THERES A SHIMMER OF A VISION VEILED IN LACE

MAN 2

MEN

SOMETHING ELSE THAT STARTS

FRESH AND RADIANT

WOMEN and MAN 1

ALL

SOMETHING THAT LINKS HEARTS

TO OTHER HEARTS

WHOSE FACE YOU BARELY SEE

THEN THE RITUAL

ALL

WOMAN 1 and MAN 2

IN SOME NEW WAY

THE RING

WOMEN

ALL

THERE IS SOMETHING IN A WEDDING

MEN
SOMETHING HAPPENS ON A WEDDING DAY

WOMAN 2
YOU GO ALONG DISMAYED BY THE FORCES

MEN and WOMAN 2

OF A WORLD WHERE IT SEEMS NOTHING STAYS

WOMAN 1
THE STRAINS

MAN 2
THE FIGHTS

MAN 1
COMPLAINTS

WOMAN 2
AND DIVORCES

ALL
ALL THE THINGS THAT PASS FOR LOVE THESE DAYS

WOMAN 2
THEN THE ORGAN PLAYS

I DONT KNOW WHY

BUT ITS ALMOST LIKE THEYRE MARRYING FOR ME

WOMEN
THERE WAS NEVER SUCH A BRIDE

MEN
THERE WAS NEVER SUCH A BRIDE

WOMEN
THERE WAS NEVER SUCH A GROOM

MEN
THERE WAS NEVER SUCH A GROOM

WOMEN
SOMETHING LIKE AN ACT OF

ALL
FAITH THAT GETS INSIDE
EVERY CYNIC IN THE ROOM

MAN 1
SKEPTICISMS GONE

MAN 2
LOVE WILL CARRY ON

MEN and WOMAN 2

LOOK AT THEM, SO CONFIDENT

ALL
SO SURE OF WHERE THEYRE HEADING
SOMETHING IN A WEDDING
LOVE WILL LAST FOR LIFE
SOMETHING IN A WEDDING
LOVE WILL LAST FOR LIFE

MAN 1
SOMETHING IN A WEDDING

MAN 2
SOMETHING IN A WEDDING

WOMAN 2
SOMETHING IN A WEDDING

WOMAN 1
SOMETHING IN A WEDDING

ALL
LOVE WILL LAST FOR LIFE

7. ANOTHER WEDDING SONG

MAN 1
THE FUTURES HERE
THE PAST IS DEAD
I WONT DISSECT OR WEIGH IT
BUT SOMETHING SMALLS
BEEN LEFT UNSAID
AND NOWS THE TIME TO SAY IT
YOURE NOT MY FIRST
AS WELL YOU KNOW
ONCE BEFORE I LEAPT WHEN MARRIAGE BECKONED
BUT YOURE SO MUCH MORE THAN MERELY FIRST
YOU ARE THE FIRST TO BE SECOND

WOMAN 1
I SCREWED UP TOO

I MADE A VOW
THAT LASTED FORTY YEARS LESS THAN I RECKONED
HOW LUCKY FOR YOU, FOR STARTING NOW
YOU CAN BE FIRST TO BE SECOND

MAN 1
SO WHAT IF WE HAD BUBBLES THAT GOT BURST

WOMAN 1
ALL OF THOSE MISTAKES ARE IN THE PAST

BOTH
I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE NOT MY FIRST

MAN 1
AS LONG AS YOURE THE FIRST TO BE MY LAST

WOMAN 1
ID BETTER BE

BOTH
HERES TO OUR FIRSTS, WE LEARNED A LOT
OUR FUTURE WILL BE GLORIOUSLY FECUND

WOMAN 1
OF FIRSTS WEVE HAD THE SAME AMOUNT

MAN 1
NOW WELL MAKE EACH SECOND COUNT

BOTH
FROM NOW ON MY FIRST TO BE SECOND
COMES FIRST

8. IF I SING
MAN 2
MY FATHERS PRIDE
WAS IN HIS HANDS
THE PIANO WAS HIS SOUL
I WATCHED IN WONDER
AS HE PLAYED SHOW TUNES

MILES OFF FROM ROCK AND ROLL

WHAT HE LOVED, HE TAUGHT ME
NOW MUSICS WHAT I DO
AND OFTEN WHEN IM WRITING
IN MY HANDS
DADS THERE TOO
IF I SING, YOU ARE THE MUSIC
IF I FLY, YOURE WHY IM GOOD
IF MY HANDS CAN FIND SOME MAGIC
YOURE THE ONE WHO SAID THEY COULD
WHEN THE CHILD WHOS STILL INSIDE ME
FINDS A SONG IN EMPTY AIR
WHEN THERE IS JOY IN MAKING MUSIC
IT IS YOU WHO PUT IT THERE
MY DAD GREW OLD
HIS HANDS GREW NUMB
AND NOW HE CANNOT PLAY
I CAME TO VISIT
HE SAT AND ASKED ME
HOW IT COULD END THIS WAY
I COULDNT FIND AN ANSWER
I PLAYED THIS TUNE FOR HIM INSTEAD
MY FATHER SAT THERE SMILING
FOR HE KNEW
WHAT IT SAID
IF I SING, YOU ARE THE MUSIC
IF I LOVE, YOU TAUGHT ME HOW
EVERY DAY, YOUR HEART IS BEATING
IN THE MAN THAT I AM NOW
IF MY EARS ARE TUNED TO WONDER
IF WHEN I REACH THE CHORDS ARE THERE
IF THERE IS JOY IN MAKING MUSIC
ITS A JOY THAT WE BOTH SHARE

George Dvorsky

I NEVER TOLD YOU

IT TOOK TIME TILL I COULD SEE
THAT IF I SING, YOU ARE THE MUSIC
AND YOULL ALWAYS SING IN ME
YES! YOULL ALWAYS LIVE IN ME

9. BACK ON BASE
WOMAN 1
MY SCATTERED LIFE HAD NO FOUNDATION
COULDNT SEEM TO FIND MY SPACE
THEN ALL AT ONCE CAME INSPIRATION
NOW IM BACK ON BASE
MY BABY PLAYS A LINE THATS SUBTLE
YET IT MAKES THE STRONGEST CASE
AN ARGUMENT WITH NO REBUTTAL
GOT ME BACK ON BASE
WHEN HIS FINGERS TOUCH MY STRINGS
I TINGLE TO MY TEETH
I SEEM TO SING THE WILDEST THINGS
WHEN HE IS UNDERNEATH
THE ONLY WORM THATS IN THIS EDEN
ONLY SNAG IN ALL THIS LACE
IS WHERE I STAND AINT EASY READIN
WHEN HES BACK ON BASE
(SCAT)
AT TIMES HE SEEMS A BIT ELUSIVE
WAY OFF IN HIS PRIVATE PLACE
I GUESS HE CANT BE MY EXCLUSIVE
WHEN HES BACK ON BASE

Jenn Colella and Danny Weller

HES GOT EYES FOR SOMETHING TALL

SO MAYBE I SHOULD GO
THEN ONCE MORE MY DEFENSES FALL

WHEN HE GETS DOWN BELOW

OH OH OH OH OH OH OH

AND MY LIFES ENCUMBERED NOW

WITH THINGS TO PAY FOR, FIX AND FEED

SO WHAT IF HE DONT FEEL LIKE TALKIN

ILL JUST LET HIM PLAY HIS ACE
AND LET HIS FINGERS DO THE WALKIN
TILL IM BACK ON

WOMEN

ALWAYS BACK ON

AT FIRST I THINK ITS SOMETHING IN THE PLUMBING

SO HAPPY BACK ON BASE

ALL

(SCAT)

BUT, NO, ITS SOMETHING

I CANT STOP FROM COMING
OOOO! OHHHH! AHHHH!
THE MARCH OF TIME!

WE MAKE SWEET MUSIC

WHEN WERE BOTH BACK ON BASE

AND IN MY EAR
I HEAR A SOUND LIKE DISTANT DRUMMING

MEN

10. THE MARCH OF TIME

I WASNT READY FOR THE BURNOUTS

I WASNT READY FOR THE JOKES

MAN 2

WOMEN

OVEREDUCATED

WOMAN 2
UNDERSTIMULATED

WOMAN 1
OVEROPTIMISTIC

I WASNT SET FOR SEEING CELLULITE

MEN
OR BEING PARENT TO MY FOLKS

ALL

WOMAN 1

I NEVER THOUGHT ID GO TO PARTIES

AND ORDER PERRIER WITH LIME
I WASNT READY, NEARLY READY FOR
THE MARCH OF TIME

OVER COMPLICATING

MAN 1

MAN 2

OVER-MOTIVATED
TIGHTLY CALIBRATED
MAJOR WORKAHOLIC
SON OF A BITCH
TIGER WITH THE LADIES
BORN FOR A MERCEDES
AND THANKS TO THE EIGHTIES
RICH!

MAN 1
UNDERPREPARED

NON-CO-OPERATING

WOMAN 2
HYPERVENTILATING...

ALL
SCARED -AND THE DAYS ARE NUMBERED NOW
THEY TUMBLE BY WITH MOUNTING SPEED

ALL

WOMAN 1

OOOO! OHHHH! AHHHHH!

THE MARCH OF TIME!

TEENAGE VISIONARY, SET ITINERARY

GOT IT ALL LIKE CLOCKWORK, SEPTEMBER BRIDE
FUTURE MOVING TOWARD ME
PARTNER WHO ADORED ME
THEN ONE AWFUL NIGHT SHE.DIED

I WASNT READY TO HAVE INLAWS

I WASNT SET FOR THINGS TO PALL

WOMAN 1
OR SEX THATS ONCE A WEEK

WOMAN 2
ID KILL FOR ONCE A WEEK!

MEN and WOMAN 1

OR SEX THAT ISNT SAFE AT ALL

MEN
I DIDNT KNOW I HAD A PROSTATE

WOMEN
I DIDNT KNOW ID HAVE A PRIME

ALL
I WASNT SET TO LOVE THE QUICKSTEP OF
THE MARCH OF, MARCH OF
MARCH OF, MARCH OF
I WASNT READY FOR TUITIONS
OR FINDING BOYFRIENDS FOR MY MOM

WOMAN 2 and MAN 1

OR FRIENDS WHO FLIP THEIR LIDS

WOMAN 1 and MAN 2

AND THE DAYS SEEM ENDLESS NOW

I FEEL MY PURPOSE ALL BUT GONE
THOUGH IM HARDLY FRIENDLESS NOW
EACH NIGHT I THINK I CANT GO ON
BUT IN THE CORNER OF MY MIND
I HEAR THIS POUNDING

OTHERS
(GOTTA MOVE, GOTTA MOVE ALONG)

WOMAN 1
ITS ALMOST LIKE IM SOMEONE THAT ITS HOUNDING

OTHERS
(GOTTA MOVE, MOVE ALONG, GOTTA MOVE ALONG)

WOMAN 1
NO MATTER WHAT I DO, IT KEEPS RESOUNDING

ALL
OOOO! OHHHH! AHHHHH!
I WASNT READY TO KEEP MOVING
I WASNT READY FOR THE DAWN

OR ADOLESCENT KIDS
WHOVE NEVER HEARD OF VIETNAM

WOMEN

ALL

MEN

I DIDNT KNOW THAT HAVING PROMISE

WOULD GET YOU TEN CENTS FOR A DIME
I WASNT TAUGHT TO FACE THE ONSLAUGHT OF
THE MARCH OF, MARCH OF
MARCH OF, MARCH OF
TIME

OR LEARNING PAIN CAN FADE

RECOVERIES GET MADE

ALL
NO MATTER WHAT, YOUR LIFE GOES ON
I DIDNT KNOW THAT WHEN YOU STUMBLE
YOU GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO CLIMB

MAN 1 and WOMAN 2

MEN

I WASNT SET FOR LIVES I NEVER PLANNED

MAN 2 and WOMAN 1

AND FATHERS OF FATHERS, FATHERS OF MOTHERS

STRANGE HOW KIDS MEASURE YOUR WORTH

WITH BOTH FEET FIRMLY SET ON SAND

MAN 2

ALL

THEYRE HERE AND THEN THEY SCATTER

BUT IN SOME WAY, THEY MAKE IT MATTER

THE GRAND RELENTLESS DRUM BEAT AND

THE MARCH OF TIME!

11. FATHER OF FATHERS

MAN 1
HEY BILLY, MY BABY
HEY KID, LOOK AT ME
ITS CLEAR YOUVE GOT YOUR MOTHERS EYES
BUT WHO DO THEY SEE?
THE NURSE JUST CALLED ME FATHER
WELL, HELL, I GUESS THATS WHAT I AM
BUT WHAT MAKES HER THINK IM A FAMILY MAN?
THOSE FATHERS OF FATHERS, FATHERS OF MOTHERS
HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHAT ITS WORTH
FOR ALL MY ASPIRATION
ARE YOU TO BE THE INDICATION
THAT I WALKED THE FACE OF THIS EARTH?

MAN 2
MY CHILDREN, I MISS YOU
HOW MUCH YOU CANT KNOW
I LAUGHED WITH YOU, I CRIED WITH YOU
HELPED EACH OF YOU GROW
I KISSED YOU EVRY BEDTIME
YOUR LAUGHTER WOKE ME EVERY DAWN
THEN ONE DAY I WOKE
AND YOUD GROWN AND GONE

MEN
THAT I WALKED THE FACE OF THIS EARTH

MAN 3 (PIANIST)
HEY FATHER, I LOVE YOU
I PRAY YOULL PULL THROUGH
YOU CARED FOR ME, ITS MY TURN NOW
TO TAKE CARE OF YOU
IVE TRIED TO SHOW MY CHILDREN
THE KIND OF STRENGTH YOU SHOWED TO ME
I FEEL SUCH A LONGING TO BE A SON
INSTEAD NOW IM ONE OF THOSE

ALL
FATHERS OF FATHERS, FATHERS OF MOTHERS
WHAT MAN CAN SAY WHAT ITS WORTH
THIS COMMONEST OF PLEASURES
WHY SHOULD IT BE A THING THAT MEASURES
THAT I WALKED THE FACE OF THIS EARTH

12. ITS NEVER THAT EASY

/ IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE
WOMAN 2
YOU JUST MET HIM, YES I KNOW
THIS IS LASTING, THIS WILL GROW
BUT OH, ITS NEVER THAT EASY
BELIEVE ME, IT ISNT AT ALL

YOU ARE STARSTRUCK, SO WAS I

I WOULD LOVE HIM TILL I DIE
BUT OH, ITS NEVER THAT EASY
MY DARLING, NOT EASY AT ALL
ALL YOUR LIFE YOULL BE WITH HIM
THINK OF THAT, THINK IT THROUGH
HE MAY CHASE SOME CRAZY WHIM
WHEN HE DOES, YOULL GO TOO
AND YOULL LOSE HIM NOW AND THEN
BUT EACH MORNING START AGAIN
AND OH, SOME DAYS YOULL BE HAPPY
BUT IT WONT BE EASY
ITS NEVER THAT EASY
YOU THINK SO, BUT NO,
OH NO, I KNOW
IT ISNT AT ALL

AND TELL MYSELF IM FINE ALONE

OH, YES, IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE
OH, YES, IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE
THE MANS ALL WRONG
THATS ALL THATS TRUE
AND WHAT IS WORSE
THIS TIME, GOOD GOD
HES TWENTY-TWO
AND SINCE ITS WRONG
BEFORE WE START
WHY SHOULD I RUSH
TO PROVE
THAT I CAN BREAK MY HEART ALL OVER
THE MAN LEAVES AND IM ON MY OWN
I SIT HERE AND SIMPLY WATCH THE DOOR
AND TELL MYSELF IM FINE ALONE ...

WOMAN 1

WOMAN 2

THE MAN SAYS THINGS HE NEEDS TO SAY

TURNS TO SMILE AS HE STANDS AT MY DOOR
AND THEN I SEE HIS EYES ARE GREY
OH, GOD, IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE

I KNOW
ITS NEVER THAT EASY
BELIEVE ME
IT ISNT AT ALL
HE MAY CHASE
SOME CRAZY WHIM
LET HIM GO
OR HELL
BREAK YOUR HEART

TO WANT HIM MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL

THEN WE TALK AND OUT HIS FEELINGS POUR
INSIDE ALL MY DEFENSES FALL
OH, YES, IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE
THE MANS ALL WRONG
THATS ALL THATS TRUE
AND WHAT IS WORSE
THIS TIME, GOOD GOD, HES TWENTY-TWO
AND SINCE ITS WRONG, BEFORE WE START
WHY SHOULD I RUSH TO PROVE
THAT I CAN BREAK MY HEART ALL OVER?
THE MAN LEAVES AND IM ON MY OWN
I SIT HERE AND SIMPLY WATCH THE DOOR

YOURE FINE ALONE WITHOUT HIM

AND YOULL MISS HIM NOW AND THEN
YOURE FINE ALONE ...

BOTH
OH, YES, IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE

WOMAN 1
BUT IT WONT BE EASY

WOMAN 2
(SOME DAYS YOULL BE HAPPY)

WOMAN 1
NO, NEVER THAT EASY

WOMAN 2
(BUT IT WONT BE EASY)

WOMAN 1
YOU THINK SO, BUT NO

WOMAN 2

SOME DAYS I THOUGHT WE BLEW IT

BUT STRANGE AS IT SEEMS IT TOOK THE PAIN
TO BIND US TOGETHER
CLOSER THAN EVER
AND NOW
WERE STEADIER BY HALF
THANK GOD WE LEARNED TO LAUGH
THANK GOD WHEN YOU FOUND YOUR NEW YOU
I LOVED HER, TOO.

MEN

WE STILL HAVE OUR STORMY DAYS

EVEN THE WORSE CANT SHAKE US
IF ALL WE HAVE COME THROUGH
COULD NOT BREAK US
WHATS AHEAD CAN ONLY MAKE US
STRONGER THAN EVER
CLEARER THAN EVER
IM CLOSER THAN EVER TO YOU

WELL WHAT DYA KNOW, A DOOR LOCKED TIGHT

OPENS AT LAST AND SHOWS SOME LIGHT

WOMAN 1
WE STILL HAVE OUR STORMY DAYS

ALL

MEN

ONCE MORE A DOOR YOU TRIED AND TRIED

GIVES, AND YOURE ON THE OTHER SIDE

EVEN THE WORSE CANT SHAKE US

YOU WERE UNSURE AND YET SOMEHOW

LOOK AT WHERE YOU ARE STANDING NOW
OUT OF THE BLUE
AN ANSWER COMES TO YOU
YOU NEVER KNEW YOU KNEW

IF ALL WE HAVE COME THROUGH

COULD NOT BREAK US
WHATS AHEAD CAN ONLY MAKE US
STRONGER THAN EVER
CLEARER THAN EVER
IM CLOSER THAN EVER
TO YOU!

OH NO

BOTH
I KNOW
IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE

13. CLOSER THAN EVER

MAN 2
NOBODY THOUGHT WED LAST
GOOD THING WE NEVER KNEW IT
ITS FUNNY HOW AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
WERE CLOSER THAN EVER
WE HAD SO MUCH TO LEARN

ALL

ANDREW GERLE, ALAN STEVENS HEWITT, ANDREW LEVINE, RICHARD MALTBY, JR.,
JAMES MORGAN, CHRISIIANE NOLL, BERNITA ROBINSON, DAVID SHIRE, SAL VIVIANO,
DANNY WELLER AND ALL AT THE YORK THEATRE.

FIRST PERFORMANCE AT THE YORK THEATRE, NEW YORK ON JUNE 5 2012.

RECORDED AT AVATAR STUDIOS ON JULY 13/15/16 2012.
PRODUCED FOR RECORDS BY JOHN YAP
RECORDING ENGINEER: ROBERT L. SMITH
ASSISTANT ENGINEER:TYLER HARTMAN
MIXING AND MASTERING ENGINEER: SOPHIE MARCHANT
MASTERED AT FINESPLICE STUDIOS, LONDON
PHOTOS: CAROL ROSEGG
CD GRAPHICS: BARBEL GRAPHICS
MUSIC PUBLISHED BY WARNER CHAPPELL LTD.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: JOHN YAP.

Sal Viviano, Jenn Colella, Christiane Noll and George Dvorsky

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JOHN YAP WOULD LIKE TO THANK JENN COLELLA, SARAH DOUGLAS, GEORGE DVORSKY,

Richard Maltby, Jr. and David Shire