BEWARE THE POLO!

Issue 5

February 2014

Part-time workers are expected to believe that management is the most ideal
position for an employee. We are told that we will be paid more to do less,
that'll it will look good on a resume, etc etc. While this may be true for some,
the reality is that being a part-time supervisor is by no means an easy or
desirable job for most of us. At the end of the day your survival will entirely
depend on how well you can divide and extract labor from your workers. In
other words your job is that of an overpaid baby-sitting parasite, literally.
While some of you might think, hey, that's better than what they make me do
now! Here are some less than glamorous things about supervising that
may make you think twice.
As a a part time sup, full-time sups will constantly hold you to unrealistic
goals. When you fail to meet them, Full Time sups will intimidate you by
yelling and threatening you with some kind of punishment. Essentially Part
time sups are used by upper management as buffers between them and the
workers. Whenever something goes wrongeven if it was the Full Time's
fault, part time sups will usually get the blame. Most part time sups deal with
this stress by making the rest of us pick up the slack. The get it done
mentality causes some to even resort to illegal tactics, like paying workers
under the table for working off the clock. Upper management pays no mind to
this, UNLESS a worker files a grievance with the union.
By using the management by stress tactics, UPS has created the perfect
storm. Working conditions are made to be so bad, that we will work harder to
get out of the building as quickly as possible. As a supervisor your primary
job is to enforce that. So think hard about you career choices, If being a cruel
and shallow asshole is your cup of tea then think no more. Otherwise you
might have a difficult time.

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!

EMAIL US AT SCREWUPS@RISEUP.NET

AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT... ABOUT WHEN NATURE CALLS!

Recently, we at Screw Ups have been hearing stories of coworkers being disciplined
for using bathroom facilities during their shift. Supervisors have written up, and even
threatened to fire, workers for taking a bathroom break. This is a blatant violation not
only of our contract, but of US and state labor laws. The Occupational Health and
Safety Administration (OSHA), which establishes and enforces safe work conditions,
requires by law that employers provide employees with sanitary and available toilet
facilities, so that employees will not suffer the adverse health effects that can result if
toilets are not available when employees need them (OSHA Interpretation of 29 CFR
1910.141(c)(1)(i): Toilet Facilities). So next time youve gotta go, just go! If a
supervisor tries to write you up, immediately request a steward and dont sign
anything until one arrives. If you still havent been allowed to go to the bathroom, feel
free to just go right there, shout LEAKER! and leave the area until a haz-mat
responder arrives. Dont bother notifying your supervisor.

Email us at screwups@riseup.net! Completely Anonymous!

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY!

Your boss is not your friend. Friends are not bosses. When weve got our noses to the
grindstone, we only have our coworkers to back us up. Even the supervisor youve known
since you were a kid, when his back is against the wall, will screw you over to protect his own
interestsits his job, after all. But we don't have to let it happen.
Supervisors have power over us when they deal with us one on one. If I were to tell my
supervisor to go to hell when he wanted to cut someone while our whole section was backed
up, I wouldnt stand much of a chance. I would still be expected to work harder under more
stressful and dangerous conditions. But imagine how different our jobs would be if every time
something like this happened, the whole section told their supervisor to eat shit! What power
would he have over us then? Effectively none.
Our bosses are completely disconnected from the conditions that you and I work under. It is
their job to ignore, or not even recognize, the effects of their management on our wellbeing.
They have plenty of intimidation tactics to prevent individuals from taking steps to make work
less shitty. They use the Teamsters grievance process to sweep our problems under the rug.
This is why we have to look out for each other: nobody else will do it for us.
Talking with my coworkers, it's clear that we all think this job could suck less than it does, but
dont quite know how to go about it. It starts with looking out for each other. Make friends with
your coworkers, not your supervisors. Work at a pace that is comfortable and safe for you, not
the unreasonable PPHs demanded by supervisors. If you see somebody getting screwed
over, dont leave them to fend for themselves. We are the ones who keep the hub running, we
are the ones who provide UPS with billions of dollars of profit every year. We know how hard it
is, and our supervisors just dont give a shit. But we can change that.
If you keep trying to be friends with supervisors, they wont take you seriously. If you band
together with your coworkers to show the bosses you mean business, they cant just brush
you off. We far outnumber our bosses. Choose your friends wisely ;).

Management... by STRESS!
UPS is one of the most successful companies at wringing every last cent out of the labor of its
employees. They seem to have perfected the model of Management By Stress, a system of
production that uses the bare minimum number of workers needed to maintain the expected rate of
production. This is why, on busy nights, we are overwhelmed by the flow of packages, and on slow
nights our coworkers are cut just minutes into the shift.
Their theory is this: when there are fewer workers responsible for the same amount of volume, the
added stress encourages us to work faster to avoid belt stops, clogged egress routes, and the
stress associated with potential discipline. This reduces the companys labor costs while
theoretically maintaining the same level of revenue, which greatly increases profit for UPS. Workers
who break under the stress are threatened with termination, so we are pressured to stick with the
program and work ourselves to death. But this system has a major weakness, one that is easily
exploited: it relies on our obedience. I say, fuck that.
At current staffing levels, every slow down to production throws the UPS system into crisis. But
when we work slower, we dont make any less money; the added time it takes to process the
volume actually means bigger paychecks. Slowing the pace of our work reduces our stress levels
and helps prevent physical injury. So why should we let our bosses get away with such a vile
management strategy? With enough of us refusing to let their greed control our lives, UPS will have
to choose between allowing the global supply chain to grind to a halt, or develop a new
management strategy that acknowledges the importance humanity of their workforce.

Invasion of the Buddy-Snatchers!

Its a story we all know well: some time ago, I was working alongside a buddy of mine
who had just been promoted from my section to a PT supervisor. It was a heavy day, in a
heavy trailer. Boxes falling off the rollers lined the sides, and the belt was backing up. The
full time supervisor came in, screaming, yelling why cant you keep this goddamn trailer
clean? to which I responded, Im trying, but all these boxes keep getting in the way.
Now, before his promotion, the PT supervisor next to me would have gotten a good kick
out of this. We often joked about the unrealistic expectations, the workload, the poor
temper of our supervisors. But when I looked at him, he had this strange look on his face;
he paused, and then said in a cold, lifeless tone, well, its not that bad pick it up, dude.
This story is common enough that when I talk to friends who work on other sections, or
even other shifts, they can immediately tell me similar experiences. It seems we all know
someone who went from being a good-natured, friendly coworker into a humorless dick of
a supervisor. Sometimes it happens slowly, sometimes remarkably fast. But why? Whats
happening to them? Weve come up with some theories that might help to explain whats
happening here:
1.) They are being replaced by evil robots. This was the most liked option on last
issues informal poll, at least according to the email responses. Somewhere, in some
corporate office, UPS houses a secret subsidiary that takes our friends, models elaborate
machines to imitate them, and dispatches them back to the hub without anyone knowing
the switch has happened. While they look like our former coworkers, you can tell they
lack the same humanity, instead viewing themselves and their underlings as machines
designed only to bring profit to UPS. They wear polos to cover the barcode and serial
numbers printed on their necks.
2.) They are being brainwashed. Have you ever seen A Clockwork Orange? Theres a
famous scene in which the main character is strapped into a chair with his eyelids forced
open so he cant look away from a series of disturbing images in order to permanently
change his behavior. Its a lot like that, except its all videos like those horrible ones they
make you watch in training. The 80s music alone is enough to break anyones will.
3.) Mind-Control Polo Shirts. This was our favorite submission from the last issue.
When you think about it, it all makes sense: why else would they force all the supervisors
to wear those dumbass shirts? Those times you can see the conflicted look in their eyes,
when they want to not be jerks, its them struggling against the control the polo shirt has
over them. These devices are somewhat similar to the Ring from Lord of the Rings, they
confer their wearer great powers, but can only serve one master: the Dark Lord UPS.
4.) Well, its just their job. You know what they say: sometimes, the truth is stranger
than fiction. Maybe its not some diabolical plan at all; its just that their job is to make as
much money for UPS as possible. Maybe instead of some secret mind-control program,
its just that this job puts them in a position of having to choose between being a good
person or doing their job and pushing their friends as hard as possible. Some arent
willing to do this to their former coworkers and friends, while some are more concerned
with what higher up managers think of them. Maybe its something much more normal like
this but just in case, Im still gonna look for the bar codes.