It has been almost a year since it happened, but the development of the situation took

much longer looking back. On that chilly night of September 21st, 2013, my life took a
humungous turn. Junior year homecoming was the occasion. Every detail comes into my
memory vividly and fluidly. The blue dress she wore with her sparkling silver shoes, the way her
extravagantly, curled red hair shone in the light, the sweat that perspired off of my face as we
danced the night away. That was the night I asked out Amanda Marshall, a night which has
influenced my entire perspective on women, life, and a loving relationship. However, none of
this would have been possible if it werent for my journey. Ill walk you through my past.
Being in high school is a huge step in anyones life. Its especially hard when your eighth
grade graduating class had five people in it. Boys face the main problem of puberty. Seeing
numerous girls in one place makes the ordinary fourteen year old boy salivate like a dog looking
at meat for the first time. We gawk at the pieces of meat constantly. Boys start to believe the
false perception that we are meant to be with them.
Freshman year I liked pretty much half of Providence. Most of them didnt even know
me. I was creepy. I liked Alyssa F, Megan, Kat, Jill, Meaghan, Cassidy, Amanda, the other
Alyssa, Allison, the list goes on. By list I actually mean list, I made a list. I was meant to be with
them all, obviously. During this time my first girlfriend, if you can call it that, and I split. I was
coping with it by looking at other pieces of meat. I never had a girlfriend at Providence. The
closest I got to having one was when I asked Dana to homecoming.
I put an elaborate note in her locker one Friday asking to go with her. Three days later, I
met her at her locker because mine was right above it. She, on her knees reading the letter,
looks up at me. I already got asked over the weekend, she said. The thing about it is, she
didnt go to homecoming. She was never asked.
Transferring to a new school is tough. Now I had to salivate over new slabs of meat. I
didnt have a list this time but I was still that dog, drooling pointlessly. I went through the halls
and saw only physical attraction because I was that boy, hitting puberty in a new school, once
again.
During my freshman year at West I had little success with the ladies. On my first day this
girl, one of the cool kids, came up to me. She said Youre my boyfriend. I was dumbfounded. I
didnt understand her motive. I went home pondering about it as if I was truly dating her. I didnt
want that piece of meat. I was thinking of ways to tell her that. I never could. After a couple
weeks of very awkward English classes, I saw her with someone else kissing in the hallway. I
now understood that she was only kidding.
Now onto sophomore year. I was completely convinced that I would let love come to
me. My hormones still disagreed with that. I didnt like as many girls and did not salivate as
much as I did freshman year but it was still there. I liked one particular girl. She was in my
health class and we started talking. We had a thing for each other, but we could not actually
date.
We both were young and didnt know much about relationships or love. She knew even
less than me. This fling persisted for the first half of my sophomore year. Then, it all fell apart.
Nothing was the same. Going through this made me actually understand that I could not chase
after love.
I went through the rest of sophomore year in a state of bewilderment. On one of the last
days of school, I saw something that would forever change my teenage life.

I was with my friend Nick riding his bus to his house when I saw it. It was beautiful. I
could not imagine a creature more beautiful than it. It had a name, Amanda Marshall. I was
scared to engage in conversation because of my past. I knew that we would talk in the future,
though. I told Nick how I felt when we got to his house. He had told me that he was moving out
of state, but that night only one thing was on my mind: her...
We met again when Nick, our friend Cesar, and I went to her house so Nick could say
goodbye. That day I hugged her goodbye; our first physical embrace. We didnt really know
each other but in that hug I felt something extraordinary. I then sent her a friend request, like
every teen trying to talk to someone outside of school, and we began conversation. I decided to
take initiative by giving her my number.
The risk was great. We would talk for hours. We had spent time with each other. We
went places and I enjoyed being with her. I loved it. But I didnt love it for the reasons I did in the
past. I wasnt just pointlessly salivating over meat. We actually had a connection.
After a summer of talking most days I decided to ask her to homecoming. I never went to
any dances, could not dance and had not asked anyone to go since Dana, so, I had to really like
her, right? I asked her with a big sign and thankfully on that night, September 1, 2013, she said
yes. I was convinced this was going to become real.
20 days later, we went to homecoming. We danced, talked and enjoyed ourselves. A few
days before, I had written out this entire poem, memorized it and planned everything out in my
head. When I asked, the fireworks were supposed to go off, trumpets blasting, everyone
clapping and it all would culminate with the kiss of a life time. But, heres what really happened.
On the way outside I stopped and said I have to ask her something. I completely forgot
the poem and just said, Will you go out with me? in a shaky voice. Thankfully she said yes and
we awkwardly had our first kiss. I cherished this moment.
Weve now been together for almost a year. Ive grown up. Im no longer salivating for
every living piece of meat. I understand what a relationship and love means. I am still young, yet
I wholeheartedly believe that I not only love her, but am in love with her. I know she feels the
same. I owe it all.. to my journey.
Feedback Guide
Name:_______________________________

Period:_________

The following guide to feedback rates the students demonstrated achievement for each of the standards of
the assignment. The following scale is used:
Level of Demonstrated Achievement

Descriptor

Excellent

Proficient

Adequate

Limited

Incomplete

Purpose (X 2.5): 4

Conveys a significant literacy event that considers the entire rhetorical situation

Genre (X2.5): 4
Captures the authors moment and demonstrates the significance of this moment by containing an
explicit or implicit thesis that unifies the piece, using vivid detail, and demonstrating sophisticated
reflection
Design/Layout:4
Effectively uses columns, font/spacing/size to make the reading experience enjoyable, and includes a
title and the authors name in the appropriate place
Audience (X2.5):3.5
Uses vocabulary appropriate for a college audience, assumes a level of intelligence and sophistication
for the audience, adheres to the rules and conventions of mechanics, spelling, usage and grammar, and
uses a style that fits with the concept of a narrative so the audiences expectations are met
Stance(X2): 3.5
Uses the narrative to offer an argument about literacy, includes a consistent tone that presents the
authors take on the event, and takes risks in that it offers the reader some insight into the author
Summative Grade Conversion
Each 4 point scale for the rhetorical situation will totaled and averaged. The resulting score on the 4 point scale will
then be converted to a percentage using the following scale:

Scale Score

Percentage Score

100

3.5

95

3.0

88

2.5

80

2.0

75

1.5

67

1.0

60

Below 1.0

50