We Are Sooooo Dead!

Renemee’s POV

“We’ll be back around 7, mind your uncles and aunts. We love you!” my mother lectured.
You’d think that after 8 years of life, she’d know that I’m more mature then my Uncle
Emmett and best friend Jacob combined.

“I love you too Mom. Goodbye.” I heard the phone click and I knew she had hung up.

My parents and grandparents had left on a hunting trip this morning, leaving me with my
fashion loving Aunts and hell raising Uncles, not to mention my 6’8’’ werewolf best friend
Jacob Black. Yes I, Renesmee Carlie Cullen, an 8 year old in a 16 year old body with the
mind of a Collage student, was staying home with Emmett McCarthy Cullen, 20 year old
turned vampire with the common sense of a kindergartener.

This day should be barrels of fun.

“Hey Ness!” I turned to see Jacob Black himself coming up the porch steps. His black hair
was styled into a faux hawk (note: looks like Taylor Lautner’s Hair) and was clad in a
black dress shirt, opened to reveal his bronze six pack, and jeans.

“Jake!” I cried. I ran full tilt towards him and jumped into his waiting arms. Even after 8
years that I’ve known him, he is always surprised to see me react to his presence.

“Well, I should go take care of pack business more often if I’m going to get a welcome like
this every time.” He laughed. I felt his chest rumble as he said this and it never failed to
make me feel at home.

He and I walked into the house to get something to eat. Seeing as we’re both part human
we have to eat. I had finally gotten used to human food and even learned to like it. He sat
down while I busied myself getting everything ready to make hash browns, bacon, and
sausage.

“So, where’d ya parents go?” he asked, playing with the salt and pepper shakers.

“Hunting.” I answered, flipping the bacon.

“Soooo…” he began but I cut him off.

“I have to stay here Jake. Since Aunt Alice can’t see me when I’m with you, I have to stay
close to the house. And yes dad said.” I added, seeing the look on his face that plainly said
‘did someone say so?’

He slumped down and mumbled something about ‘overprotective bloodsucker father’ and
‘no fun even when he is gone’

“Jake, he just wants to keep me safe.” I said, bringing over his plate of food. “We can do
something fun, just the-“

“HELL YEAH!” Uncle Emmett boomed. I slid into my hunting crouch and hissed instinctively
while Jake growled and pulled me behind him. Uncle Emmett barreled into the kitchen.

“Do you guys want to do something fun today?” He grinned wickedly.

Uh Oh
 “No way in hell am I going to subject Nessie to one of your stupid, irresponsible pranks
Emmett!” Jake spat, hugging me closer to his chest as if he wanted to run with me.

“Awwww come on!” Uncle Emmett whined. “Jazzy boy won’t play with me, the girls are too
‘prim and proper’, and it’s like the only time Carlisle and Esme are gone. Please?” he gave
both of us his puppy dog pout.

“NO!!!!!!” We said at the same time. I looked at Jake in awe. Usually he went along with
anything Uncle Em said. He must really not want me to be in this.

Uncle Emmett’s face fell for a second then the sly grin came back. I cowered behind Jake,
knowing that look meant trouble.

“I know a way to make you play with me.” He said. I scoffed.

“I highly doubt that Uncle Em.” I said.

“Oh really? Well what would you say to me just happening to mention to your parents
about that poor poor-“My eyes narrowed as I realized what he was saying.

“You wouldn’t dare” I hissed and Jacob stepped back from me. Emmett smirked.

“You know I would.” He smiled. I couldn’t believe that he would stoop this low just for his
own amusement! I turned to Jake.

“Please Jake, we have to. He has me and he knows it.” He contemplated.

“All right, but I don’t like it.” He groaned. Emmett clapped.

“All right.” He said seriously “Time to get down to business.”

Jacob’s POV

“All right then, let’s tepee Newton’s house then we can race Carlisle’s car then we can-“

I buried my head in my hands as Emmett droned on and on about all the pranks we were
planning to do. Nessie was mirroring me as her bronze curls curtained her face from view.
I wondered what dirt Emmett had on her to make her cooperate with his stupid plans.
How long until 7 again?

“HOLD THE PHONE!” Emmett exclaimed, making Nessie and I jump. “I have got the
perfect way to make this better.”

“You’re not doing it?” Nessie grumbled as she looked up at him.

“Nope! We’re playing dodge ball after words! ” He grinned at his own stupidity Nessie and I
groaned.

“Come on party poopers!” he grabbed our hands. I’m in soooo much trouble.

After 3 hours of pure hell, we finally got back to the house and Emmett ran up to get the
volleyball. Nessie collapsed onto the stairs and started to sob.

“Nessie! Don’t cry.” I pulled her into my lap and cradled her head to my chest.
“I h-ha-ated d-doing tha-at t-to p-p-people.” She hiccupped. I shushed her and stroked
her hair. I felt infuriated towards Emmett and, in spite of the person so close to me, I
started to shake.

“J-Jake? Stop sh-shaking. Y-you can’t ph-phase h-h-here.” She put her hand to my face
and showed me what would happen if I phased here with her so close to me. I flinched.
Calm down Jake. You can’t phase now. Think of Emily. I wasable to calm down and Nessie
stopped crying.

“Hey come on guys!” Emmett boomed “Let’s go play.” I growled at him.

“No way Em. Count us out!” I hissed. As I said out I swiped the ball out of his hands.

CRASH!!!!! The ball bounced into the vase Carlisle bought Esme in France and it toppled of
its pedestal and onto the floor, shattering into a billion pieces. All of us froze while Blondie,
Alice, and Jasper ran into the room to investigate.

Silence

“We are sooooo dead.” Nessie whispered. I totally agreed.

Nessie POV

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!” Aunt Rosalie screeched. Jake and I looked up from the pink
and white pieces on the floor to meet her gaze. Aunt Alice’s face was completely blank and
Uncle Jasper was glaring at Uncle Emmett.

“Rosalie, I-I’m so sorry.” Jake said. That was probably the first time he had said her given
name out loud. “I promise I’ll pay you for the vase.”

“Jake we have more than enough money to get another vase.” Uncle Jasper said.

“Its how we’re going to get another just like it before Esme gets home is the problem.”
Alice concluded. Then her face lit up. “Nessie, Rose. Grab your coats, we’re going
shopping!”

“For once, I’m glad to hear those words.” Jake whispered to me.

*****

“All right, the vase is in Toronto and it will be ready to be picked up in three hours.” Aunt
Alice said. I glanced at the clock.

“Problem Alice.” I said. “Its four now. By the time we go to get the vase, it’ll be 7 and
mom and dad will be angrier then hell!” Jake could hear me freak out from the living room
and came and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned into his chest and sighed.

“Jake, what are we going to do?” He kissed my forehead.

“You are not going to panic, and I will go and get the vase with Alice.” He said.

“Bad News, the only fastest way to Toronto is 1 day and 17 hours.” Uncle Emmett said.
After a good screaming lecture from Aunt Rose and a few thumps on the head, He decided
to help by getting directions to Canada. My heart sank.

“By Driving!” Aunt Alice said. “Find the first flight out of here.”
“Tried that, nothing.” Emmett said. I started to hyperventilate. Jake pulled me to one of
the couches and into his lap.

“Shhh its okay.” He soothed. “We’ll find some way. I promise.” He brushed the hair from
my forehead.

“Running!” screeched Aunt Alice. “We can run to Toronto!” She closed her eyes and
screwed up her face, trying to concentrate on the future.

“Yes! It’ll work. And no one will see or suspect us!” she flew up the stairs to change her
clo“You are not coming with us!” Jake said. He was dead set on leaving me home while he
and Aunt Alice ran to Toronto. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Jacob, she’s going whether you like it or not.” Alice said. I smirked at him as he cursed.
“As stubborn as her mom.” he muttered under his breath. Alice kissed Uncle Jasper
goodbye and we ran out the door. I was carrying a bag full of the payment for the vase, a
change of clothes for Jake, water, and snacks. Jake tossed me his shirt and carried his
pants in his mouth after he phased.

“All right troops! Move out!” I said. With that, we headed to Toronto.

*****

“Okay, this is the place.” Alice said. I tossed Jake his clothes and he headed in the trees to
phase back.

“Finally!” I groaned. We had been traveling for over an hour and I was tired. Jake came
back and we headed to a rental car place to rent a car. (So we didn’t look suspicious)

It was a slightly sunny day so Alice’s skin glowed faintly, but not so bad that she couldn’t
come with us. All the guys at the car place stared at us. Jake slid an arm around both our
shoulders and kissed my head. I stifled a giggle at his protectiveness.

“Hello, my name is Jason. Can I help you with anything?” A boy with brown hair asked us.
He looked pointedly at me.

“Yes, we just need a car for an hour or two at the most.” Alice said. The hearts of all the
male employees sped up at her voice. I casually touched my finger to Jake’s and showed
him. He coughed to hide a laugh.

“All right then. Let’s see what we can find you.” Jason said. In five minutes we were all
situated. Jason stepped towards me.

“If you need anything, just call me.” He said in what I imagined was in a seductive tone.
He slipped me a piece of paper and his hands started to slide up my legs. I looked at Jacob
with a ‘help me or your sleeping outside’ look. He stood up and slid his arm around my
waist.

“Ready babe?” he said, giving Jason a dirty look.

“Yes babe.” I said kissing his cheek. I smirked at Jason and hopped in the car. Alice burst
out laughing.

“Oh My God! That was sooooooo funny. He was itching to touch you all the time.” She
giggled. We pulled up at the house that had the vase.

Suddenly Alice’s phone rang. “Hello? WHAT! No! Stop them I-“She dropped the phone.
“Alice? What happened?” I asked.

“They’re coming back early.” She whispered.

thes. For the first time since the vase shattered, I felt confident.

What are we going to do?” I whispered. Jake started to pace down the driveway of the
house we were at.

“Don’t panic. We go in, get the vase, and get home. We have 1 hour. GO!” Alice said. We
stomped up the porch and rang the doorbell. A little old lady with gray hair and a brooch
answered.

“Oh! Are you Mary Alice?” she asked in a shaky voice.

“Yes.” said Aunt Alice.” And are you Barbra?”

“Yes and who are these young people?” she looked at Jacob more then was necessary.

“My sister and her friend. Now where is the vase?” Barbra led us into her house and to a
room that was filled with vases of all kinds. A box was sitting on the table with a vase that
looked just like Grandma’s in it.

Instead of just giving us the vase, Barbra decided to tell us about all of her vases and how
she got them. After half an hour we finally got out of the house. We returned the car and
raced home. Just as we were in Montana Alice’s face went blank. She swore and we sped
up.

“What did you see?” I asked. She appeared to not hear me but sped up again. I took a
deep breath and took down a big deer to pass the time. Alice grabbed my hand and raced
off. I just hoped we could get home in time.

Rosalie POV

An hour after Alice, Nessie and the dog left, the phone rang. I picked it up thinking it was
Alice.

“Alice! Finally! Did you get it?” I shouted into the phone.

“Rose? It’s Bella.” Aw crap!

“H-Hi Bella!” I stammered. Rosalie Hale Cullen did not stutter. That shows how nervous I
was.

“Is everything ok? Where’s Nessie?” Damn Bella and her motherly instincts.

“Yeah totally. She’s- uh- she’s sleeping.” Way to cover Rose! I thought.

“Uh okay. Tell her we’ll be home early. Edward and Carlisle want to study a certain disease
for a patient of Carlisle’s. Bye Rose.”

“Bella wait-“but she had already hung up. I was already dialing.

“Hello?” I breathed a sigh of relief at my adopted sister’s voice.

“Alice! They’re coming home early!” I screamed.

“WHAT! Stop them! I-“I heard the phone drop. I hung up my end and sprinted out the
back door.

“JASPER! EMMETT! HELP!” I screamed. We were sooooo dead!

Nessie POV

Alice still wouldn’t tell us what she saw. Jacob and I exchanged discreet looks but kept up
with her easily. The minute we touched Forks we slowed down. I slid onto Jake’s back and
we ran to the house.

We froze.

Mom was standing, with her hands on her hips, outside next to my father who looked like
he could scare a grizzly bear. Grandma Esme was furious. Mom smirked and pointed to us.

“You three have some BIG explaining to do.”

slid off of Jake and walked up to my grandma. She folded her arms across her chest. I
looked up into her eyes and saw anger mixed with something else… pain? I looked to my
dad to see if I was right. He nodded tight-lipped. I turned back to my grandma.

“I’m sorry Grandma.” I started. “Emmett wanted to play a game and Jake accidently
knocked the ball out of his hands and it knocked the vase over and made it shattered and
Alice said she could replace it and then you got home and… well, here we are.” I stopped
and took a deep breath. Grandma smiled and pulled me into her arms.

“It’s alright dear. I’m glad you told the truth. But what I don’t understand is why you just
didn’t tell me.”

“I thought you would be mad.” I whispered.

“Not at you. You get in more trouble telling falsehoods then the truth of the trouble.” She
said. “Now Emmett on the other hand…”

“AWWWW, COME ON!” We heard from the house. I grinned. Jake came from the woods
and wrapped his arms around me.

“I highly doubt that Jacob.” My dad said. I gave them a questioning look. Jake shrugged. I
started to head into the house after my dad but Jake stopped me.

“So what kind of dirt did Emmett have on you to make you hang out with him?” I blushed
and groaned.

“Okay well, you know that bunny that Alice and Mom decided to nurse back to health?” he
nodded.”Well, you were gone one day and I really wanted to go hunting. And Mr. Furry
Bum smelled really, really good.” I looked down in shame. “Emmett saw me and he’s held
it against me ever since then.” I looked up to him and waited for his reaction.

He burst out laughing.

“Jake! It’s not funny!” I yelled. He chuckled and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Sorry, but Mr. Furry Bum?” He started laughing again, this time I joined him. Suddenly
we heard crash from the house and “EMMETT!”

“Here we go again.” I groaned and Jake chuckled. Welcome Home.