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John Bechta
Matthew Gassan
English 101-014
12 December 2014
Well-mannered Woman
Women attempt to develop certain aspects of well-mannered behavior such as elegance,
courteousness, and a sense of respect toward themselves as well as other people. Being polite
and humble is a trait all people should desire because judging others is completely unacceptable
in reality. Women that lack respect for themselves are most likely to get emotionally hurt or
damaged. A relationship requires maturity if one wants to be fully committed to their partner and
loyal to them in every way possible. Sandra Beasleys You Were You, metaphorically captures
the image of a heart broken woman trying to preserve her ladylike reputation.
An undesirable reputation can be acquired by directing negative comments towards
another individual. Women can be very cruel towards their competition when trying to win over
a mans heart. In the poem, the character thinks to herself I'd have told you her hair looked like
plastic. But then, my mouth was plastic and restrains herself from opening her mouth (Beasley).
She wanted to insult her and change his mind for being with her, but she could not find anything
physically wrong with her appearance. Plastic and being fake sort of relate to one another,
especially when the topic of discussion involves ones physical appearance. She claims she
wanted to make a rude remark about the womans hair, but then her statement would be false.
The woman realized that it was very unladylike to insult someone who did absolutely nothing
wrong to her, which is why she kept her comment to herself. Another reason why she did not

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confront the woman is because she would have embarrassed herself or created an opportunity for
the woman to think of something wrong with her appearance. She most likely would have
created a scene in the bar while confronting unknown woman and drawing negative attention to
ones self is embarrassing in public places.
Woman do not always respect their bodies and sometimes allow their emotions to be
toyed with by other people. Every woman should feel like they have the authority to demand
respect from others. She claimed A man tried to seduce me with quarters but I could hear his
truck outside, still running, she hints that another man asked her to dance (Beasley). Claiming
that he inserted quarters into the jukebox, but she sensed he only was looking for a one-nightstand since they were in a bar. A woman who is all alone in the corner of the bar is bound to get
hit on or just approached by a man looking to brighten his night. Sometimes women use a man to
make someone else jealous or to get their attention to generate envy. The woman maturely
handles the situation and does not use this random man as revenge, she simply ignores his
offering because she was not interested in anyone except the man across the bar. She implies that
the man is irreplaceable in her eyes even across the bar room. A woman should respect herself
enough to not fornicate with random men and this woman rejects the man because her heart is
taken by only one man. Her behavior of declining the mans gesture to dance is a sign of dignity.
Self-respect is a key characteristic of being ladylike and women who end up losing respect for
themselves usually regret decisions of their past.
Both partners in a relationship should trust one another and be loyal to maintain a stable
healthy relationship. Cheating on someone ruins all trust and creates many problems within a
relationship, which could lead to either a breakup or constant lying. I was loyal to you. I played
Aretha, Marvin, the Reverend Al she claimed, the man at the bar could have cheated on her in

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the past and she is clarifying that she was always loyal (Beasley). The jukebox plays only
songs that he is familiar with just to make him feel at home and hopes that nostalgia will hit him
soon. Women who remain loyal to their significant other seem to be more ladylike than a
promiscuous woman. The woman gazing at the man across the room is extremely mature and
understanding her loyalty to him has enhanced her mannerism. She sits back and watches the
man with another woman, but does not approach the two because she knows it would be a
mistake. She may not have caught the mans attention, but she stayed true to herself and
respected herself enough to keep her distance. The poem takes turn towards the end as she see
the man leave with the woman by his side and she Maturity comes into effect when a woman
wishes to be in a serious relationship and if she truly only wants to be with that one individual
she will remain loyal no matter the circumstances.
In the poem, You Were You the woman confines herself from drawing negative attention
to herself several times and displays proper manners, but still did not satisfy her desire of being
with the man across the room. Being ladylike does not always have its benefits for a positive
outcome. The woman kept her mouth closed and avoided interacting with the man although she
still basically did not exist in his eyes. Having well developed manners may benefit ones
reputation around town, but in the end sitting back and watching things play out can lead to
emotional distress. The women had enough respect for herself to avoid possible emotional
damage and rejected another mans offer to remain loyal. She may not have been the girl he took
home, but she prevented from making a complete fool of herself. Her mature mindset and
thought process allowed her to be loyal to this man and not confront him while he was with
another girl. Woman that have well developed manners may not always get what they want, but
they benefit themselves emotionally.