Conceptul de adaptri de personalitate a fost conceput prima dat de ctre Paul Ware, MD un

psihiatru n Shreveport, LA, i Taibi Kahler, Ph.D., un psiholog n Little Rock, AR. Vann
Joines, Ph.D. un psiholog n Chapel Hill, Carolina de Nord l-a dezvoltat n continuare. Ideea
de baz este c exist att de multe feluri n care o persoan se poate adapta ca copil, n scopul
de a supravieui psihologic i pentru a rspunde ateptrilor prinilor lui. Copii fiind toi am
dezvoltat adaptri care au lucrat cel mai bine n familia noastr de origine. Dr. Ware a
identificat ase dintre aceste adaptri de de baz ale personalitii. Deoarece acestea sunt mai
degrab adaptri dect patologie, dr Joines le-a denumit descriptiv, pentru a reprezenta att
aspectele pozitive, ct i cele negative ale fiecreia. Cele ase adaptri sunt:
Creativ-vistor iniial denumit Schizoid
Fermector-Manipulator - iniial denumit Antisocial
Sclipitor-Sceptic - iniial denumit Paranoid
Jucu- Rezistent - iniial denumit Pasive-Agresiv
Responsabil-Dependent de munc (Workaholic) - iniial denumit Obsesiv-Compulsiv
Entuziast-Reactiv exagerat - iniial denumit Histrionic
Primele trei sunt denumite adaptri "de supravieuire", i reprezint cea mai bun opiune pe
care a gsit-o o persoan pentru a avea grij de sine (el sau ea) n copilrie, atunci cnd a
simtit ca nu se putea baza pe mediu. Urmtoarele trei sunt denumite adaptri "de
realizare/performare" i reprezint modul n care copilul a ncercat s fie ok cu oamenii mari
din jurul su. n prezent, sub suficient stres, fiecare dintre noi utilizeaz nc adaptrile de
supravieuire pentru a ncerca s avem grij de noi nine. n circumstane mai normale,
fiecare dintre noi utilizeaz nc adaptrile de realizare (de performare) pentru a ncerca s
mplineasc ateptrile celor din jurul nostru.
Aceste adaptri sunt universale i rezult dintr-o combinaie de programare genetic i
experiene timpurii de via. Un individ poate avea orice adaptare i s fie perfect sntos sau
oriunde pe spectrul tradiional al psihopatologiei. Fiecare individ este o combinaie unic a
acestor stiluri adaptative. Fiecare adaptare are unele puteri, posibile capcane, arii de
dezvoltare i preferine specifice pentru a face contact i a interaciona cu alii. Cunoscnd
adaptrile

1. gsete-le ua deschis. Observai unde investete clientul energie n conversaie n

gnduri, sentimente, comportamente? Majoritatea se axeaz pe o parte n special.
Aceasta este ua lor deschis, pe care te invit.
2. lucreaz cu asta. De regul te angajezi la acest nivel. Aadar, de exemplu, daca clientul
vorbeste despre comportamentele sale, de aici poate incepe lucrul, aa c exploreaz.
3. dac simi c discuia este blocat. Incearc s dezvoli conversaia la alt nivel. De
exemplu, dac energia clientului este n comportamentul su, ce se ntmpl cnd mui
conversaia spre cum se simt sau cum gndesc? n acest fel invii clientul departe de
vechile tipare, n teritorii noi.
4. ascult cu atenie. Asculi pentru ua int, dincolo de tiparele vechi ale uii deschise
care sunt, de fapt, o form de rezisten. Prin ua int clientul poate ncepe o
explorare fructuoas a ceea ce se afl dincolo de modul lui obinuit de a rezolva
lucrurile.
5. fii atent! Poti gsi ua capcan. Aceasta este un loc de explorare mai profund i este
probabil s fie atins ntr-o relaie terapeutic mai matur. Vei ti c ai ncercat s
deschizi ua capcan prea devreme dac clientul oprete conversaia.
n anii 80 Paul Ware (1983) a artat c modul n care ne adaptm la via timpuriu ne permite
s ne aprm de anxietile timpurii.
Ua int pentru 66,6% este sentimentul, iar pentru 33,3% gndirea. Ua capcan este pentru
50% comportamentul i pentru 33% gndirea i pentru 17% sentimentul.
Evaluarea adaptrii individului este important pentru a ti ce zona (gndire, simire, sau
comportament) este "ua deschis" pentru client. Aceast evaluare poate fi
fcut intuitiv, prin observarea comportamentului sau cu ajutorul unui chestionar.
Cnd terapeutul i pune energia n aceeai zon ca i clienii lor se stabilete foarte rapid
contactul eficient i rapportul. Urmtorul pas este de a afla care este problema i dac clientul
o prezent ntr-un mod care arat c este rezolvabil sau de nerezolvat. Aproape inevitabil,
clientul ncerac s rezolve problema n zona sa capcan, de aceea nu a fost capabil s o
rezolve singur. Clientul a fost critic cu sine n zona n care se simte cel mai vulnerabil.
Terapeutul dorete s se poziioneze de partea strii de ego copil natural (partea original,
spontan) i s ajute clientul s experimenteze valoarea iniial a ceea ce a fcut pentru a se
proteja, astfel nct s aib mai degrab empatie pentru sine dect critic. Odat problema
clarificat i posibil recadrat ntr-un mod care o face rezolvabil, terapeutul afl cum vrea s
2

schimbe clientul problema i negociaz un contract comportamental clar, specific.

Modalitile n care clienii pot s-i dea la o parte puterea i responsabilitatea i rezistenele
incontiente sunt urmrite i fcute explicite. Clientii sunt invitati sa ofere un exemplu curent
al problemei pe care o experimenteaza si sa utilizeze persoana intai, timpul prezent, sa
traiasca in aici si acum ceea ce descriu. Li se cere si sa preznte ce sint si ce isi spun lo rinsisi
despr eei, despre alte persoane implicate si despre destinul lor. Presupunerea este ca in
situatiile conflictuale din prezent reexperimentam o pozitie familiara existentiala rezultata din
deciziile timpurii din copilarie despre noi, altii si destin. Deciziile reprezinta cea mai buna
optiune gasita la momentul respectiv pentru a avea grija de noi. Dificultatea in prezent este ca
continuam sa ne limitam la aceasta unica optiune atunci cand alte optiuni ar merge mai bine
pentru rezolvarea problemei. Procesul de redecizie ne permite sa ne eliberam de deciziile din
trecut si sa urmarim noi optiuni in prezent. Apoi clientii sunt intrebati daca aceast apozitie
existntiala este un mod familiar de a simti si cu cine s-au aflat in aceasta pozitice cand erau
copii. Scena din copilarie este prezentata la prima persoana, timpul prezent. Terapeutul
lucreaza cu aria tinta (emotie, gandire ori comportament) a adaptarii clientului, astfel incat
interventia va fi cea mai eficienta. Terapeutul lucreaza apoi utilizand dialogurile Gestalt
pentru a vorbi cu figurile din perioada timpurie despre problemele emotionale nerezolvate
pentru a le rezolva acum si pentru a ajunge la o noua decizie (redecizie) legata de cum vor
avea grija de ei in prezent. Terapeutul cauta dovezi ale schimbarii clientului in sedinta,
observand corpul, starile emotionale si schimbarile de energie. Scopul este ca clientii sa
experimenteze schimbare ain momentul prezent, astfel incat sa simta, gadeasca si sa se
comporte diferit. Terapeutul lucreaza pentru a crea o ancora a noi decizii in memoria
clientului. Apoi ii va cere clientului sa faca un plan specific adultului pentru modul in care va
implementa noua decizie in afara sedintelor. In urmatoarele sedinte clientul raporteaza despre
succesel sau si primeste validari si lucreaza suplimentar pe zonele pe car ele simte
nerezolvate. Procesul de incheiere consta in procesarea a orice pare neterminat in relatia cu
terapeutul, sintetizand si celebrand schimbarile din client, impartasind aprecierea si spunand
la revedere. In procesul de redecizie, cunoasterea despre adaptare este utilizata pentru a ghida
terapiea in termenii problemelor cheie de evaluat, ai ariei tinta pentru interventie si ai ariei
capcana pentru a fi evitata.

Creativ-visatorii (schizoid) au ca usa deschisa comportamentul. Tipul de comportament pe

care il utilizeaza este pasivitatea retrasa. Copii fiind si-au considerat parintii coplesiti si le-a

fost teama ca sunt prea mult pentru ei, asa ca au invatat sa nu produca tulburari pentru parinti.
Au invatat sa fie suportivi pentru parinti in speranta ca parintii le vor fi ok si, in schimb, vor
avea grija de ei. Cand acest lucru nu a mers, pur si simplu s-au retras si, in locul implinirii
nevoii de interactiune cu altii in realitate au substituit-o pe aceasta cu fantezia. Pentru ca
terapeutul sa stabileasca un contact eficient cu creativi-visatorii el trebuie sa invadeze
pasivitatea lor retrasa prin a merge dupa ei si a-i aduce afara. Modul in care poate face asta
este sa le transmita asteptarile pe care le au, ca vor fi activi, ca vor participa si sa-i intrebe ce
vor. Creativ-visatorii sunt singurii cu adaptari care vor raspunde pozitiv la asa ferme
asteptari. Ei se simt in siguranta in fata asteptarilro terapeutului pentru ca stiu ca nu vor
coplesi terapeutul. Odata stabilite contactul si rapportul, zona tinta de focusat pentru terapeut
este gandirea. Este important sa-i facem pe visatorii-creativi sa impartaseasca gandurile cu
voce tare, iar drept concluzie sa treaca la actiune pentru a-si implini nevoile in realitate.
Sentimentele sunt aria de evitat pentru ca ele sunt aria capcana pentru visatorii-creativi.
Driver-ul pentru reativ-visatorii este Fii puternic (nu trebuie sa ai sentimente si nevoi). Cand
indivizii cu aceasta adaptare nu se simt bine, ei se retrag, inc ercand sa scape de acele
sentimente negative, ceea ce ii face doar sa se simta mai rau si asa raman blocati. Pe masura
ce trec la actiunea de a-si indeplini nevoile se simt mai bine si devin animati si entuziasti.
Clarificarea impasului este o parte cheie din procesul de redecizie in cazul creativ-visatorilor
si adesea necesara inainte ca ei sa se poata implica clar intr-un contract de schimbare. Pentru
ca ei incearca sa evite mai degraba problemele decat sa le rezolve, terapeutul trebuie sa-i
aduca continuu inapoi la problema cu afirmatii puternice care sa le transmita ca sunt
competenti si ca pot rezolva problema. Creativ-visatorii au nevoie sa invete sa fie suportivi
pentru propriile emotii si nevoi la fel cum sunt pentru oricine altcineva. Lucrul de redecizie in
sine este facut in principal in modul gandire, ajutandu-l pe client sa decontamineze credintele
timpurii si sa-si revendice locul de drept in lume astazi. Ei folosesc in mod tipic asta pentru eu
si verbe pasive mai degraba decat active. Emotiile parazite (rackets) pe care le utilizeaza sunt
insensibilitatea/amorteala, confuzia si frustrarea pentru a acoperi sentimente mai intense ca a
se simti ranit, furie si surescitare/agitatie. Injonctiunile lor majore sunt Nu gandi, Nu fi
important, Nu te simti furios sau surescitat/agitat, Nu te bucura, Nu apartine, Nu fi sanatos.
Trapa de evadare de inchis este innebunirea. (Trapele de evadare reprezint un concept care
sugereaz c oamenii cu scenarii de via tragice au deseori ci de ieire,trapele de
evadare fiind: sinuciderea, homicidul i innebunirea. Boyde i Boyde au propus c terapeutul
poate s acioneze astfel ca, n cazul clienilor cu trape de evadare deschise, acetia s
nchid cile de evadare pentru a-i da timp s ia noi decizii n loc de cele din scenariu care
4

fceau aceste ci de scpare necesare. nchiderea trapelor de evadare este o protecie menit
s ajute clientul s se stpneasc n timp ce terapia are loc. nchiderea trapelor de evadare
nu reprezint o nou decizie n sine, ci este o procedur preliminar.) principalul obiectiv
terapeutic este sa ajutam clientul sa-si revendice dreptul din nastere de a lua spatiul in
stapanire, de a avea emotii si nevoi, de a actiona pentru a-si implini aceste nevoi.
Sarmant-manipulatori (antisocial) Comportamentul este, de asemenea, usa deschisa, dar
comportamentul este opus celui al creativ-visatorilor. Sarmant-manipulatorii sunt activ
agresivi. Ei incerca sa vrajeasca sau intimideze pe ceilalti pentru a le da ce doresc. Adesea au
crescut in situatii competitive in care a supravietuit cel mai adaptat. Pentru a face un contact
autentic cu ei, terapeutul trebuie sa prezinte explicit ce fac, fara a fi critici. E util sa fie
realist/practic sau jucaus. Pentru ca joaca un joc numit Prinde-ma daca poti, comportamentul
le este foarte previzibil si terapeutul poate anticipa incotro merg si poate ajunge acolo inaintea
lor. Sunt intrigati de modul in care terapeutul a fost capabil sa faca asta si initial se angajeaza
in terapie tocmai sa afle asta. Cand nu il pot pacali pe terapeut il respecta. Respectul este
meritat prin testare continua in timp pana la un angajament real. Dupa stabilirea contactului
autentic aria tinta este cea cu emotiile. Este util sa-i intrebam pe sarmanti-manipulatori cand
au decis prima data sa inceteze a avea incredere in oameni si ce vor cu adevarat ca presupun
ca nu pot obtine si atunci incearca tactici intortocheate in loc. Pe masura ce isi permit sa simta
si sa fie autentici (sa nu mai pretinda) schimbarea cea mai mare este in gandire. Incep sa
priveasca consecintele pe termen lung si sa se angajeze in relatii. Pentru ca au experimentat
abandonul de catre parinti in copilarie si vor lupta sa nu fie intr-o pozitie vulnerabila din nou,
initial nu se vor angaja autentic in procesul de redecizie in sine. Pot incerca sa pacaleasca
terapeutul simuland. Prin urmare, stadiile initiale ale terapiei de redecizie cu ei constau in
principal in confruntarea opozitiei/argumentelor importiva pana ce incep sa faca tranzactii in
mod direct. Clarificarea impasului implica in cea mai mare parte munca de redecizie in
stadiile mai tarzii ajutand clientul sa planga pentru abandonul timpuriu pe car el-au
experimentat. Sarmant-manipulatorii trebuie sa invete sa-si limpezeasca actiunile si sa
inceteze sa se abandoneze pe sine. Sentimentele neautentice parazite (rackets) utilizate sunt
furia si confuzia care acopera tristetea si frica. Injonctiunile (porunci) majore pe care le-au
primit sunt Sa nu ai incredere, Nu o face, Nu te simti trist sau speriat si Nu gandi (pentru a
rezolva problema fii mai destept si pacaleste-i pe ceilalti). Trapa de evacuare de inchis este
omuciderea. Obiectivul terapeutic principal este de a-i ajuta sa fie reali, autentici si de a-si

implini nevoile intr-un mod de cooperare cu ceilalti.

Stralucit-Sceptic. Gandirea este usa deschisa pentru ei. Au tendinta de a gandi intr-o maniera
foarte atenta si detaliata si sunt adesea initial sceptici in legatura cu motivele altora. Au
crescut in situatii neprevazute si trebuie sa fie vigilenti in avea grija de ei insisi. Prin urmare,
nu le plac surprizele. Vor ca lucrurile sa fie sigure si constante si sa stie tot ce se intampla
dinainte. Pentru a stabili un contact eficient, terapeutul trebuie sa il antreneze pe StralucitulSceptic gandind cu el si fiind foarte previzibil. Dupa stabilirea rapportului, aria tinta a
sentimentelor/emotiilor poate fi explorata intr-o maniera hranitoare. Este important sa nu se
initieze jocuri prea devreme pentru ca le vor considera prostii si copilaresti si voi deveni
sceptici cu privire la motivele terapeutului. Este mai bine sa se astepte pana ce terapeutul vede
ceva semne de joc/glume din partea clientilor si le sprijina. Pe masura ce face asta, ei se vor
relaxa si nu vor mai fi asa in control. Rezultatul va fi faptul ca vor deveni mai spontani. Aria
capcana de evitat este comportamentul. Stralucitii-Sceptici se presupune ca sunt perfecti si
sunt puternici, asa ca se comporta intr-un mod in care nimeni sa nu-i poata gasi vinovati. Daca
terapeutul comenteaza comportamentul lor devin foarte auto-constienti si toate rezistentele le
ies la suprafata. Ei se retrag dincolo de un zid ca de beton, prin care este imposibil de trecut.
In circumstante normale, trece o vreme pana ce Stralucitii-Sceptici decid ca pot avea
incerdere in terapeutu suficient pentru a fi vulnerabili in prezenta sa. Pot fi ajutati sa faca fata
fricilor prin verificarea fanteziilor, in asa fel incat sa se simta in siguranta si sprijiniti, ceea ce
este o problema majora. Procesul de redecizie evolueaza lent cu ei. Nu se vor angaja in lucrul
cu scaunul gol initial pentru ca li se pare prea imprevizibil. Este util sa li se explice totul
inainte, ca sa nu fie surprize. Pentru masura ce invata sa aiba incredere ca terapeutul nu ii va
surprinde si ca nu se vor simti umiliti, incep sa permita terapeutului suficient control pentru ai ghida in procesul terapeutic. Mare parte din lucrul initial consta in a-i ajuta sa creeze o
relatie sigura si de incredere. Acest lucru se realizeaza atat prin faptul ca terapeutul este cinstit
si coerent/congruent,cat si prin a-i ajuta sa-si decontamineze starea de Adult de credintele
rigide ale Parintelui critic, astfel incat sa devina sigur pentru Copil sa se dezvaluie. Munca de
redecizie esentiala implica adesea lucrul pe modalitatile in care au fost neadecvat raniti in
copilarie si pe experimentarea modurilor in care se pot proteja in prezent. Impotrivirile tipice
(rezistente) la care trebuie sa fim atenti sunt Trebuie Ar fi bine si Vreau sa stiu de ce al starii
de Parinte si Sa fiu capabil al Copilului. Sentimentul racket e de obicei furia care acopera
frica. Injonctiunile majore includ Nu simti, Sa nu ai incredere si Nu fi copil. Trapa de evadare
6

care trebuie inchisa este omuciderea. Obiectivul primar terapeutuic este de a invata sa se simta
in siguranta in lume.
Rezistent-Jucausii (Pasiv-Agresivi). Comportamentul este usa deschisa pentru ei, dar este
foarte diferit de comportamentul celor de mai sus. Abordarea lumii pe care o au RezistentJucausii este intr-o maniera pasiv-agresiva. De exemplu, pot spune, Doamne, e cu siguranta
cald aici! Si sa se astepte ca altcineva sa faca ceva in acest sens. Sunt adesea o categorie cu
care terapeutii lucreaza cel mai dificil pentru ca Rezistent-Jucausii vor ca altcineva sa faca
lucrurile mai bune, dar rezista oricarei tentative a altora de a-i directiona spre a face ceva
pentru o schimbare. Rezistenta lor provine din faptul ca au fost hipercontrolati in copilarie.
Altii adesea s-au trezit foarte frustrati cand au avut de-a face cu ei. Pentru a realiza un contact
eficient, terapeutul trebuie sa angajeze starea lor de Copil rebel intr-o maniera jucausa. Daca
terapeutul este jucaus, Rezistent-Jucausii cred ca acesta nu incearca sa-i controleze. Odata
stabilit rapportul, terapeutul devine hranitor si afla ce simt si vor Rezistent-Jucausii, ceea ce
reprezinta aria tinta. In acest fel, terapeutul poate sa-l ajute pe client sa fie mai direct si sa-l
intrebe ce doreste de la ceilalti. Rezistent-Jucausii trebuie sa experimentez ca ceilalti vor
coopera cu ei acum, mai degraba decat sa se angajeze intr-o lupta pentru putere cu ei, la fel
cum faceau cu parintii lor. Aria capcana de evitat este gandirea pentru ca mesajul pe care l-au
primit in copilarie a fost Incearca din greu si ei deja fac asta in gandurile lor. Ei tind sa
incadreze lucrurile ca sau/sa, totul sau nimic si sa se lupte/zbuciume in gandirea lor. Nicio
optiune nu pare buna pentru ca ambele implica sa renunte la ceva. Dilema initiala este
sentimentul ca ar trebui sa renunte la ceva ce si-au dorit dragostea parintilor. Adesea ei se
indeamna/exercita presiune din starea de Parinte si rezista din starea de Copil. Pentru ei
deciziile se simt ca Osandit daca o fac, osandit daca nu o fac. E important pentru ei sa invete
ca sunt intotdeauna mai mult de doua alternative in orice situatie si ca atunci cand isi
limiteaza optiunil ela doua, creaza o dilema inevitabil. Cel mai bine functioneaza ca terapeutul
sa lucreze pronind de la ideea ca clientul este ok cu el insusi fara a trebui sa schimbe nimic.
De fapt, terapeutul poate sa-l descurajeze sa se schimbe pentru a trece de pozitia de rezistenta.
Astfel elibereaza clientul sa mearga intr-o directie pozitiva. Procesul de redecizie cu
Rezistent-Jucausii necesita sa stam de partea Copilului natural prin joc continuu cu el. Este
adesea fara succes sa incercam sa facem un contract sau orice altceva care implica angajarea
gandirii intr-o directie clara. Rezistent-Jucausii sunt dureros de constienti de impasul in care
se afla, iar jocul ij ajuta sa-si elibereze energia. Pe masura ce ajung in contact cu durerea
luptelor de putere pe care le-au experimentat cu parintii lor, munca de redecizie ii poate ajuta
7

sa elibereze durerea si sa-si elibereze energia mai mult. Impotrivirile tipice pentru RezistentJucausii sunt Nu stiu si utilizarea Da, dar. Racket-urile sunt frustrarea si confuzia care
acopera/mascheaza ranirea si furia. Injonctiunile majore sunt Nu o face, Nu creste, Nu simti si
Nu fi apropiat. Trapa de evadare de inchis este innebunirea. Este important sa-i ajutam sa
invete sa spuna nu direct mai degraba decat sa reziste pasiv. Principalul obiectiv terapeutic
este renuntara la lupta.

Responsabil-Dependent de munca (Obsesiv-Compulsiv). Gandirea este usa deschisa pentru

Responsabil-Dependent de munca. Se presupune ca acestia sunt Baieti buni si Fete bune si fac
totul corect. Meritele si valoarea au fost echivalate cu A face. Au invatat sa lucreze din greu
pentru a fi cetateni model. Vor sa stie ca altii aproba ce fac si ca ii considera buni. Prin urmare
se gandesc la tot ce fac. Pentru a stabili un bun contact, terapeutul trebuie sa se angajeze in
gandirea lor. Mare parte din lucrul initial implica a-i ajuta sa-si decontamineze starea de Adult
de Parintele opresiv interior prin evidentierea a cat de duri sunt cu ei insisi. Odata stabilit
rapportul, terapeutul poate adopta un comportament hranitor sau juvaus pentru a afla care sunt
sentimentele lor, ce reprezinta aria tinta. Integrand sentimentele cu gandirea ei incep sa se
simta mai usurati si devin mai jucausi. Aria capcana de evitat cu ei este comportamentul.
Pentru ca ei cred ca trebuie sa fie Perfecti pentru a fi OK, orice confruntare comportamentala
li se pare ca le arata ca nu fac ceva corect si devin rapid defensivi. Ajutandu-i sa
experimenteze cerintele opresive ale Parintelui intern incep sa lase perfectiunea si sa se
relaxeze. Este util si sa-i incurajam sa faca cel putin o greseala pe zi si sa se distreze facand
asta. Ei nu au fost niciodata rebeli in mod deschis si au nevoie de permisiunea de a face asta.
Au nevoie si sa experimenteze ca pot fi valorosi si apreciati in afara a ceea ce fac. Terapia de
redecizie cu un Responsabil-Dependent de munca este destul de simpla pentru ca usa lor
deschisa est gandirea, iar usa tinta este sentimentul. Lucrul merge de la contractul de
clarificare a impasului la lucrul de redecizie in sine, care elibereaza emotiile. In multe feluri,
ei sunt clientii model, care vin la timp, sunt cooperanti, platesc taxele si vor sa faca ce le
spune terapeutul. Ocapcana de avut in vedere est etendinta lor de a se supra-adapta la ceea ce
gandesc ca terapeutul vrea, mai degraba decat a se gandi la ceea ce vor ei intr-adevar.
Impotrivirile pe care le utilizeaza sunt calificativele Mai mult, Mai bine si A fin instare sa, ca
in Eu vreau sa fiu in stare sa fiu mai relaxat. Pentru ca se presupune ca sunt perfecti si ca ei
stiu ca nu pot intr-adevar sa fie, ei vor intotdeauna sa fie mai buni, mai degraba decat sa
realizeze ca pot fi Sufieint de buni si ca nu mai trebuie sa lucreze la asta. Racket-urile sunt
8

anxietata, vinovatia si depresia, care mascheaza tristetea si furia. Injonctiunile majore sunt Nu
fi copil, Nu fi important si Nu simti. Trapa de evadare ce trebuie inchisa este a lucra pana la
moarte. Obictivul terapeutic major este sa invete sa Fie.

Entuziast-Suprareactivi (Histrionici) fac contact cu lumea prin sentimente, care reprezinta

usa lor deschisa. Au invatat sa fie atenti la sentimentele si nevoile altor oameni si sa incerce
sa-i faca pe altii sa fie fericiti si sa se simta bine prin a fi simpatici, glumeti si distractivi.
Acesta a fost modul principal in care au primit validare in copilarie. Pentru a fac contact
eficient cu ei, terapeutul trebuie sa se angajeze cu sentimentele sale, fiind hranitor sau
jucaus/glumet. Ei vor sa stie ca altora le pasa de sentimentele lor si ca ei ii plac. Iubesc atentia
si tind sa echivaleze atentia cu dragostea. Odata stabilit rapportul, terapeutul ii poate angaja in
gandire, care este usa lor tinta. Starea lor de Adult trebuie decontaminata de sentimentele
Copilului. Ei tind sa echivaleze ralitatea cu ce simt si au nevoie sa stie ca numai pentru ca
simt ceva ca adevarat, acel ceva nu este neaparat adevarat in realitate. Usa capcana de evitat
este comportamentul. Pentru ca ei fac tot ce stiu pentru a place altora, orice confruntare
comportamentala ii face sa simta ca nu sunt placuti si devin foarte defensivi. Pe masura ce
integreaza gandirea cu sentimentele isi inceteaza suprareactiile. Procesul de redecizie decurge
de obicei usor cu ei pentru ca ei simt natural, iar contractul si clarificarea impasului le
stimuleaza gandirea. Munca de redecizie in sine este utilizata pentru a-i ajuta sa-si reia in
posesie puterea personala la care au renuntat in copilarie, sa-si exprime furia, sa-si ia in
posesie propria gandire si sa-si permita sa creasca, principalele impotriviri pe care le
utiliezeaza sunt Cred, Ma gandesc ca vreau/cred ca vreau si Nu pot. Rackets-urike sunt frica,
tristetea, confuzia si vinovatia, care mascheaza furia. Injonctiunile majore sunt Nu gandi, Nu
creste si Nu fi important. Trapa de evadare care trebuie inchisa este fuga si suicidul. Ei trebuie
sa invete sa-si utilizeze furi aadecvat p a stabili limite cu altii. Obiectivul major terapeutic
este revendicarea puterii personale.
Adaptari combinate Pentru ca toata lumea are cel putin o adaptare de supravietuire si una de
performare este important sa putem urmari camd persoana trece de la o adaptare la alta ori
cand persoana utilizeaza, de fapt, o combinatie de adaptari. Cunoscand comportamentele,
problemele de dezvoltare si driver-ele pentru fiecare adaptare sunt usor de depistat adaptarile.
Driver-ele pentru fiecare adaptare sunt:
Creativ-vistor Fii puternic
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Fermector-Manipulator Fii puternic si sa placi altora

Sclipitor-Sceptic Fii puternic si fii perfect
Jucu-Rezistent Incearca din greu
Responsabil- Dependent de munc (Workaholic) Fii perfect
Entuziast-Reactiv exagerat Sa placi altora
Modul in care se manifesta adaptarile difera usor, in functie de care adaptare se combina. De
exemplu, jucaus-manipulatorul combinat cu entuziast-suprareactiv este foarte inflacarat, in
timp ce jucaus-manipulatorul combinat cu resposabik-dependent de munca este mai discret.
Unele problematici terapeutice implica in primul rand o adaptare. Altele implica o combinatie
de adaptari.

The concept of Personality Adaptations was first conceived by Paul Ware, MD a psychiatrist
in Shreveport, LA, and Taibi Kahler, Ph.D., a psychologist in Little Rock, AR. Vann Joines,
Ph.D. a psychologist in Chapel Hill, NC further developed it. The basic idea is that there are
just so many ways an individual can adapt as a child in order to survive psychologically and
to meet the expectations of ones parents. As children, we all developed the adaptations that
worked best in our family of origin. Dr. Ware identified six of these basic personality
adaptations. Since these are adaptive rather than pathologic, Dr. Joines gave them descriptive
names to represent both the positive and negative aspects of each. The six adaptations are:
Creative-Daydreamer - originally called Schizoid
Charming-Manipulator - originally called Antisocial
Brilliant-Skeptic - originally called Paranoid
Playful Resister - originally called Passive-Aggressive
Responsible Workaholic - originally called Obsessive-Compulsive
Enthusiastic-Overreactor - originally called Histrionic
The first three are called surviving adaptations and represent the best option an individual
saw for taking care of him or herself in childhood when it felt like he or she could not rely on
the environment.
The second three are called performing adaptations and represent how the child tried to be
okay with the big people around him or her.
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When under sufficient stress in the present, each of us will still use one or more of the
surviving adaptations to try to take care of ourselves. Under more normal circumstances,
each of us will still use one or more of the performing adaptations in order to try to meet the
expectations of others around us.
These adaptations are universal and result from a combination of genetic programming and
early life experiences. An individual can have any of the adaptations and be totally healthy or
anywhere on the traditional spectrum of psychopathology.
Each individual is a unique combination of these adaptive styles. Each adaptation has certain
strengths, possible pitfalls, areas for growth, and specific preferences for making contact and
interacting with others.
1st

Find their open door

Notice where your client invests their energy in conversation thoughts, feelings or
behaviours? Most focus on one in particular. This is their open door, where they are
inviting you in.
2nd

Work with it

You have probably got alongside them by engaging on that level. So, for example, if they are
talking about their behaviour this is where the coaching conversation can start, so explore.
3rd

If the conversation feels a bit STUCK

Try developing the conversation on another level. For example, if the clients energy is
around how they behave, what happens when you move the conversation towards how they
feel or think? This invites the client away from old patterns into new territory.
4th

Listen carefully

You are listening for the target door, away from the old patterns of the open door which
are, in fact, a form of resistance. Through the target door the client can start a generative
exploration of what lies beyond their habitual way of dealing with things.
5th

Be aware

Alternatively, you may find the trap door This is a place of deeper exploration, and is likely
to be reached in a more mature therapeutic relationship. You will know you have tried to
open the trap door too early, as the client is likely to close down the conversation.
Way back in the early 80s, when big hair was as ubiquitous as shoulder pads, a psychologist
called Paul Ware (1983) worked this out. He found that the way in which we adapt to life
early on enables us to defend our early anxieties.
The target door for 66.6% of personality adaptations is feeling, for 33.3% thinking.

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The trap door for 50% of personality adaptations is behaviour, for 33% thinking, and 17%
feeling.
Assessment of the individuals personality adaptations is important to know which area
(thinking, feeling, or behavior) is the open door for the client. This assessment can be
done intuitively, by observing driver behavior, or by using a questionnaire.
When the therapist puts his or her energy in the same area as clients put theirs,
effective contact and rapport can be established very easilyThe next step is to find out the
presenting problem and whether the client has framed it in a way that is solvable or
unsolvable. Almost inevitably, the client is attempting
to solve the problem in his or her own trap area, which is why the
client has not been able to solve it himself or herself. That is, the client has been
critical of himself or herself in the area that feels most vulnerable to the client.
The therapist wants to position himself or herself on the side of clients natural
child ego state (the original, spontaneous part of the individual) and help clients
experience the original value of what they have been doing to try to protect themselves
so they have empathy for themselves rather than criticism.
Once the problem has been clarified and possibly reframed in a way that is
solvable, the therapist finds out how clients want to change the problem and negotiates
a very clear, behaviorally specific contract. Ways in which clients may be
giving away their power and responsibility and clients unconscious defenses are
carefully tracked and made explicit. Clients are invited to give a current example
of the problem they are experiencing and to use first person, active, present tense
to experience in the here and now what they are describing. Clients are also asked
to describe what they are feeling and what they are telling themselves about
themselves, the other people involved, and their destiny. The assumption is that
in conflictual situations in the present, we reexperience a familiar existential position
resulting from early decisions we made in childhood about ourselves, others,
and our destiny. These decisions represent the very best option we perceived
at the time for taking care of ourselves. The difficulty in the present is that we
keep limiting ourselves to this one option when other options would work better
for solving the current problem. The redecision process allows us to free ourselves
from those past decisions and pursue new options in the present.
Clients are next asked if this existential position is a familiar way of feeling
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and who they were in this position with as a child. Then clients are asked to be in
the early scene, again using first person, active, present tense and describe what
is happening. The therapist works with the target area (feeling, thinking, or behavior)
of clients adaptation so that the interventions will be most effective.
The therapist
then works with the client using Gestalt dialogues to talk out with the early figures
the emotional issues that did not get resolved to resolve them now and come
to a new decision (redecision) about how they will take care of themselves in the
present. The therapist looks for evidence of clients change in the session by observing
their body, emotional states, and energy shifts. The goal is for clients to
experience the change in the present moment so they are feeling, thinking, and
behaving differently. The therapist works to anchor the new decision in clients
memory. Clients are then asked to make a specific adult plan for how to implement
that new decision outside the session as well. In subsequent sessions, clients
report on their successes and receive reinforcement, as well as do additional work
on areas that do not yet feel resolved.
The goodbye process consists of processing anything in the relationship with
the therapist that feels unfinished, reviewing and celebrating clients changes,
sharing appreciations, and saying goodbye.Throughout the redecision process, knowledge
about the adaptations is used
to guide the therapy in terms of key issues to be addressed, the target areas forintervention,
and the trap areas to be avoided
Creative-Daydreamer (Schizoid) For creative-daydreamers, the open door is behavior.
The type of behavior they use is withdrawn passivity. As kids, they saw their
parents as overwhelmed and were afraid of being too much for their parents to
handle, so they learned to not cause trouble for their parents. They learned to be
supportive of their parents in hopes that their parents would be okay and in turn
take care of them. When that did not work, they simply withdrew and substituted
fantasy for getting their needs met by interacting with others in reality.
For the therapist to make effective contact with creative-daydreamers, he or
she needs to invade their withdrawn passivity by going in after them and bringing
them out. The way to do that is to convey firm expectations that they be active,
participate, and ask for what they want. Creative-daydreamers are the only
adaptation that will respond positively to such firm expectations. When they experience
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firm expectations from the therapist, they feel safe because they know
that they are not going to overwhelm him or her.
Once contact and rapport have been established, the target area for the therapist
to focus on is thinking. It is important to get creative-daydreamers to share
their thinking aloud and to bring it to closure by taking action to get their needs
met in reality. Feelings are the area to avoid because they are the trap area for creativedaydreamers.
The driver for creative-daydreamers is Be strong (not have
feelings and needs). When individuals with this adaptation feel bad, they withdraw
to try to get away from those bad feelings, which only makes them feel
worse, and that is how they get stuck. As they take action to get their needs met,
they feel good and become animated and excited.
Impasse clarification is a key part of the redecision process with creativedaydreamers
and often necessary before they can contract clearly for change.
Because they try to avoid problems rather than solve them, the therapist needs
to continually bring them back to the problem with a strong affirmation that
they are competent and can solve it. Creative-daydreamers need to learn to be as
supportive of their own feelings and needs as they are of everyone elses. The redecision
work itself is done primarily in the thinking mode, helping them decontaminate
their early beliefs and claim their rightful place in the world today.
Typical cons used by creative-daydreamers are substituting the pronoun it
for I and using passive rather than active verbs. The rackets they use are numbness,
confusion, and frustration to cover
more intense feelings such as hurt, rage, and excitement. Their major injunctions
are: Dont think, Dont be important, Dont feel angry or excited, Dont
enjoy, Dont belong, and Dont be sane. The escape hatch to close is going
crazy. The primary therapeutic goal is to help them reclaim their birthright to
take up space, have feelings and needs, and take action to get those needs met.
Charming-Manipulators (Antisocial) Behavior is also the open door for
charmingmanipulators,
but it is the opposite behavior from the creative-daydreamers.
Charming-manipulators are actively aggressive. They attempt to charm or intimidate
others into giving them what they want. They often grew up in competitive
situations where it was survival of the fittest. To make genuine contact withthem, the
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therapist has to make explicit what they are doing without being critical.
It helps to be matter-of-fact or playful. Because they are playing a game called
Catch Me If You Can, their behavior is very predictable and the therapist can
anticipate where they are going and get there before they do. They are intrigued
by how the therapist was able to do that and initially become engaged in therapy
to find out. When they cannot outwit the therapist, they respect him or her. Such
respect is earned through continual testing over time. It usually takes some time
before charming-manipulators make a real commitment to therapy.
Once genuine contact has been established, the target area to work with is feeling.
It is useful to ask charming-manipulators when they first decided to stop
trusting people and what they really want that they presume they cant get so
they try devious tactics instead. As they allow themselves to feel and be real
rather than to pretend, the greatest change is seen in their thinking. They begin
to look at long-range consequences rather than outsmarting others in the moment,
and they begin to make commitments in relationships.
Because charming-manipulators experienced abandonment from parents in
childhood and will fight against being in a vulnerable position again, initially they
will not genuinely engage in the redecision process per se. They may attempt to
fool the therapist by pretending. Therefore, the early stages of redecision therapy
with them consist mainly of confronting their cons until they begin to transact in a
straight way. Impasse clarification comprises the bulk of the work with redecision
work in the latter stages to help them grieve the early abandonment they experienced.
Charming-manipulators need
to learn to clean up their act and to stop abandoning themselves.
The rackets charming-manipulators use are anger and confusion covering sadness
and scare. The major injunctions they received are: Dont trust, Dont
make it, Dont feel sad or scared, and Dont think (to problem-solve, think
to outsmart and make fools of others). The escape hatch to close is homicide. The
primary therapeutic goal is to help them to be real and get their needs met in a
cooperative way with others.
Brilliant-Skeptic (Paranoid) Thinking is the open door for brilliant-skeptics. They
tend to think in a very careful, detailed manner and are often initially skeptical
of others motives. They grew up in unpredictable situations and had to be vigilant
to take care of themselves. As a result, they dont like surprises. They want
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things to be reliable and consistent and to know everything that is going to happen
ahead of time.
To make effective contact, the therapist needs to engage brilliant-skeptics by
thinking with them and by being very predictable. As rapport is established, the
target area of feeling can be explored in a nurturing manner. It is important to not
initiate being playful with them too early because they will view that as silly and
childish and be skeptical of the therapists motives. It is better to wait until the
therapist sees some sign of playfulness from them to support. As the therapist
does so, they will begin to relax and let go of being so controlling. The result is
that they gain some spontaneity.
The trap area to avoid is behavior. Brilliant-skeptics were supposed to be
perfect and to be strong, and they are attempting to behave in a way that no
one could find fault with. If you comment on their behavior, they become veryself-conscious
and all their defenses go up. They retreat into what feels like a concrete
silo that is impossible to get through. Under normal circumstances, it takes
a while before brilliant-skeptics decide that they can trust the therapist enough to
be vulnerable with him or her. Helping them deal with their fear by checking out
their fantasies so they feel safe and supported is a major issue.
The redecision process proceeds slowly with brilliant-skeptics. They will not
engage in double-chair work initially because it seems too unpredictable to them.
It is helpful to explain everything ahead of time that the therapist wants them to
do so there are no surprises. As they learn to trust that the therapist will not surprise
them and that they are not going to feel humiliated, they begin to allow the
therapist enough control to lead them in the therapeutic process. Much of the early
work involves helping them create a safe and trusting relationship. That is done
both by the therapists being reliable and consistent and by helping them decontaminate
their Adult ego state from their rigid Controlling-Parent beliefs to make
it safe for their Child ego state to emerge. The critical redecision work often involves
working through the ways they were inappropriately intruded on as kids
and experiencing how they can protect themselves now.
Typical cons to be aware of are the shoulds, oughts, musts, need tos,
and wanting to know why of the Parent ego state and the be able tos of the
Child. The racket is usually anger covering scare. Major injunctions include: Dont
feel, Dont trust, and Dont be a child. The escape hatch to close is homicide.
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The primary therapeutic goal is learning to feel safe in the world.

Playful-Resister (Passive-Aggressive) Behavior is the open door for playful-resisters,
but it is very different behavior from that of the creative-daydreamers or
charmingmanipulators.

Responsible-Workaholics (Obsessive-Compulsive) Thinking is the open door for

responsible-workaholics. They were supposed to be good boys and good girls
and do everything right. Worth and value were equated with doing. They
learned to work hard to be model citizens. They want to know that others approve
of what they do and will see them as good. Therefore, they think about
everything they do.
To make effective contact, the therapist must engage responsible-workaholics
in thinking. Much of the early work involves helping them decontaminate their
Adult ego state from their oppressive internal Parent by pointing out how hard
they are on themselves. Once rapport has been established, the therapist can
move to nurturing or playful behavior to find out what they are feeling, which is
the target area. By integrating their feelings with their thinking, they begin to
loosen up and become more playful.
The trap area to avoid with responsible-workaholics is behavior. Because they
believe that they have to be perfect to be okay, any behavioral confrontation
feels to them as though they are not doing something right and they become defensive
very quickly. By helping them to experience the oppressiveness of their
internal Parent ego state demands, they begin to let go of their perfection and
relax. It is also useful to encourage them to make at least one mistake a day and
have fun doing so. They never got to be openly rebellious and need permission to
do that. They also need to experience that they can be valued apart from what
they do.
Redecision therapy with responsible-workaholics is fairly straightforward because
their open door is thinking and their target door is feeling. The work moves
from contracting to impasse clarification, to redecision work per se, which frees
their emotions. In many ways, they are model clients who come on time, are cooperative,
pay their bills, and want to do what the therapist is directing them to
do. One pitfall to watch out for is their tendency to overadapt to what they think
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the therapist wants rather than think about what they really want. The cons they
use are the qualifiers more, better, and be able to as in I want to be able tobe more
relaxed. Because they are supposed to be perfect and they know that
they cant really do that, they are always wanting to be better, rather than realizing
that they can be good enough and dont have to keep working at it. Their rackets
are anxiety, guilt, and depression, which cover sadness and anger. Their major
injunctions are: Dont be a child, Dont be important, and Dont feel. The escape
hatch to close is working themselves to death. The major therapeutic goal for
them is learning to be.
Enthusiastic-Overreactors (Histrionic) Enthusiastic-overreactors make contact with
the world through feeling, which is their open door. They learned to be attentive
to other peoples feelings and needs and to try to make them happy and feel good
by being cute, playful, and entertaining. That was the primary way they received
validation in childhood.
To make effective contact with enthusiastic-overreactors, the therapist has to
engage their feelings by being nurturing or playful. They want to know that others
care about their feelings and are pleased by them. They love attention and
tend to equate attention with love. Once rapport has been established, the therapist
can then engage them in thinking, which is their target door. Their Adult ego
state needs to be decontaminated from their Child feelings. They tend to equate
reality with what they feel, and they need to know that just because something
feels true, it doesnt necessarily make it true in reality.
The trap door to avoid with enthusiastic-overreactors is behavior. Because they
are doing everything they know how to please others, any behavioral confrontation
feels to them as though they are not being pleasing, and they become very defensive.
As they integrate their thinking in with their feelings, they stop overreacting.
The redecision process usually flows easily with enthusiastic-overreactors because
they feel naturally, and contracting and impasse clarification elicits their
thinking. Redecision work per se is used to help them take back the personal
power they had to give up in childhood, express their anger, own their own thinking,
and allow themselves to grow up. The primary cons they use are: I guess,
I think I want to, and I cant. Their rackets are scare, sadness, confusion, and
guilt, which cover their anger. Their major injunctions are: Dont think, Dont
grow up, and Dont be important. The escape hatch to close is running away
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and suicide. They need to learn to use their anger appropriately to set limits with
others. The major therapeutic goal is reclaiming their personal power.
Combined Adaptations Because everyone has at least one surviving and one performing
adaptation, it is important to be able to track when the person moves
from one adaptation to another or when the individual is actually using a combination
of adaptations. By knowing the behaviors, developmental issues, and drivers
for each adaptation, it is fairly easy to track the adaptations. The drivers for
each of the adaptations are:
1. Creative-daydreamer: Be strong.
2. Charming-manipulator: Be strong and please others.
3. Brilliant-skeptics: Be strong and be perfect.
4. Playful-resister: Try hard.
5. Responsible-workaholic: Be perfect.
6. Enthusiastic-overreactor: Please othersThe way the adaptations appear differ slightly
depending on what adaptation
they are combined with. For example, charming-manipulator combined with
enthusiastic-overreactor is very flamboyant whereas charming-manipulator combined
with responsible-workaholic is more subdued. Some therapeutic issues involve
primarily one adaptation. Others involve a combination of adaptations.

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