Football: The language of misses

Of course a player can miss a chance because of the

goalkeepers skill: the shot is saved by the goalkeeper.
And there are many ways to describe this action, such as
this example from a game between Swansea and
Newcastle: This time he (Shelvey) picked up the ball and
raced into the area only to see his shot parried by Krul.
The verb to parry is used to describe the way a keeper
pushes the ball to the side of the post.
Goalkeepers can also palm a shot wide, as in this
example
from a game
between
Liverpool
and
Southampton: Liverpool were the first to go close, Steven
Gerrards 25-yard free-kick being palmed wide by keeper
Artur Boruc at full stretch. The palm, as a noun, is the flat
of the hand, but here it is used as a verb.
So, keepers can save, parry or palm wide a shot, but
shots can also miss when a player is unlucky and they hit
the post or crossbar collectively called the woodwork.
Here is a classic example from Manchester United vs
Southampton: Rooney rattled the crossbar with a
thunderous shot but the visitors weathered the United
storm and came again. To rattle is to make something
shake, and in this case also shows the shot was a
powerful one.
Another phrase with a similar feeling is to crash off the
woodwork. You will also commonly hear that a player is
denied by the woodwork: In an entertaining game, Luis
Suarez was denied by the woodwork moments before
Richardson put the hosts back in front from close range
(Fulham vs Liverpool). It is almost as if the woodwork is
an opposition player, working hard to prevent their
opponent scoring.
The most likely way a player fails to score is because they
themselves miss the target. The language of players
missing the goal could be as long as a book, so here we

focus on a few of our favourites. To describe a bad miss

by a player who lacks composure, you can use the verb to
blaze with a preposition, such as wide or over. To blaze
is to hit the ball very hard but with no accuracy. Here is an
example from a match between Tottenham and Man
United: Tottenhams fans roared their side on in search of
more goals but 26m striker Roberto Soldado blazed a
good chance wide and the lively Aaron Lennon was denied
by De Gea. Notice that it was a good chance, so to blaze
wide emphasises this was a wasted chance.
A striker may be unlucky, however, to miss. A great way
to describe this situation is with the adverb agonisingly,
as in this example: Anelka sprinted past the German
before curling a shot agonisingly wide. (West Brom v
Arsenal). A similar meaning can be understood with the
adverb narrowly': Early in the second half, Coutinho
curled a shot narrowly wide of the past with only Begovic
to beat. (Liverpool vs Stoke).
Scoring in football is difficult, and the goalkeeper, the
woodwork and the players themselves can make it easy to
miss the chance to score!
Vocabulary
parry: deflect, repel, counter
palm: the inner part of the hand
thunderous: very powerful
weather the storm: survive a difficult period of time; not
concede a goal after a lot of pressure
composure: calmness, being in control of your feelings
roar on: to cheer, to support loudly
sprinted: ran quickly

Jose Mourinho introduced the phrase to park the bus

whencomplainingthatanopposingteampreventedhis
sidefromwinning.
thespineoftheteam: themostimportantplayers;the
groupofplayersthatgiveateamitsshape