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Relationships
September 26, 2014 Renee Kirsten 82 Comments
Whether you like someone or not there are going to be times when you have disagreements with
your friends, family, partners, spouse, co-workers, or neighbors. Here are some powerful tricks
to make sure your relationships are healthy and balanced!
1. Bring Up Problems ASAP
I remember once getting into a fight with my husband. I was so mad at him I wasnt sure if I
was ever going to be ok with him again. What flipped it around for me was when I looked deep
into his eyes and saw that the reason why he had lied was because he was afraid of being alone.
I felt that same fear deep inside myself and realized that I did things that were sometimes crazy
to avoid ending up alone too. Though our crimes looked different we had the same core fear
about loneliness. How could I be mad at him without also being mad at myself.
Like they say The things you hate most in the people around you are things you cannot stand
about yourself. Even if the behavior is different on the outside often the mirror of life is
showing us problems we have inside ourselves.
Sometimes we cannot do anything to change the past and the only thing we can do is earnestly
move forward to make a better tomorrow.
That helped me forgive my husband and also work hard to make sure I treated him with love and
respect. In the end I saw myself in his eyes and I knew that what I needed for growth in my life
was understand and love. So I gave that to him freely and we both healed.
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5. Listen
Look around- Is the area messy? Are there bad smells? Did you forget to put away the
laundry? Clean up all of your vibrations and make sure that you pay attention to what could be
straining the physical space.
Think back- Was there something said recently that would cause a misunderstanding? Are there
any important dates or big events that have happened or are coming soon? Are you aware of any
strained relationships or emotional patterns that could be causing problems?
If you see someone struggling to do something, it is often better to jump in and help rather than
ask the person if they need help. Such as opening a door or carrying in groceries.
Dont Ignore people when they appear to need your help. Sometimes we pretend to not notice
because we arent feeling good, we are being lazy or are just plain busy. Those are the times that
we need to go out of our way to help the people around us.
If we dont know what we should do we should ask them:
Hey, I see that you are upset, I want to help but I am not sure exactly how. I have thought of
X, Y and Z but I wanted to check with you first to see if there is anything else that would really
make a big difference.
One of the most powerful things to recognise about the example above is that you took the time
to recognise that the other person is hurting AND have already come up with a few ideas to help
them out. If they are hurting or upset dont make them do all the work in coming up with a way
to make it better.
The last biggest part of listening that is important is allowing people to fully feel the emotions
they are feeling. Especially in times of loss and grieving we have to resist the urge to change
the subject, avoid talking about hard topics, or diffuse the situation. It is ok to talk about the real
issues. It is healthy to explore fears about death and other culturally taboo topics.
7. Find out their Favorite Food/Treat
When things get hard take a few deep breaths and see try
to see the situation from the other persons eyes. Hearing that we messed up is almost always an
uncomfortable feeling. Often we immediately either deny that we did anything wrong or have a
list of excuses as to why we acted that way.
We need to grow into responsible souls that take ownership of our own creations. What that
means is that if someone is offended or confused because of something we did then we need to
take the appropriate steps to clarify, apologize and then fix the situation.
If we are unable to fix it then we need to be extra cautious in the future to avoid making the same
mess. That is how we will avoid loops of repeated problems in our relationships.
It is also our responsibility to create a safe space where people feel comfortable coming to us
and expressing how they feel.
If people are taking the time and being brave enough to tell you what you did to hurt them then
this is a message from the universe to look at ourselves and grow. Thank the person for being
brave enough to tell you how they felt about what you did.
10. Admit When you are Wrong
You may also ask them for ideas that you can use in the future to handle that situation with them
better. People typically want to help you be nicer to them and will gladly give you ideas to
improve how you interact with them.
11. Gratitude
http://thespiritscience.net/2014/09/26/11-secrets-to-ending-fights-in-your-relationships
relationships-2/
Sursa: http://thespiritscience.net/2014/09/26/11