ATENEO DE DAVAO UNIVERSITY

School of Arts and Sciences

Humanities and Letters Cluster
E. Jacinto Street, Davao City
AY 2014-2015
MINUTES OF THE FINAL DEFENSE
ARGUMENTATIVE RESEARCH PAPER
English 23 Writing Across Disciplines
CABATAS, JAssen Mae
COSTILLAS, Gladys Sarah
Duban, Wynonah
Gamboa, Mariane
PANELISTS
Gamorot, Karen Joy
Tagulao, Honeylene
SCRIBES
Although increasing crimes committed by juvenile delinquents are
THESIS
starting to be alarming; the Philippine government should not allow to
amend RA 9344 to protect the rights of the children, restore freedom
and give them a chance to correct their mistakes, and to avoid
psychological trauma among juveniles.
POINTS FOR REVISION
ACTION TAKEN
[/] done
Inst. H. Mendoza suggests to improve
INTRODUCTION
coherence of the sentences and to check
contrasting ideas.
Ms. W. Duban, panelist, wants the statement [/] done
of the thesis to be clear. In addition, she
corrected few grammar and punctuation
errors.
[/] done
Ms. M. Gamboa, panelist commented in the
hook part Tomas and Kokoy being raped and
drugged when they were celled, that the
proponents should give a proof/source that it
was really happened to them inside the cell.
[c] Cleared lack
Inst. H. Mendoza wanted to change abrupt
citation where
shifts of sentences, to improve coherence.
BACKGROUND
there was an
abrupt shift of
idea. It may
further clarify the
connection of the
sentences.
Statement of Even though how much
[c] It was not
this law is strengthened by President
stated in the
Aquino ..
PROPONENTS

previous
sentences
because this
statement is
carried from an
article by Lim
(n.d.).

ARGUMENT 1

ARGUMENT 2

Ms. W. Duban corrected grammar errors (i.e.

in unlawful acts on their behalf; there are
many problems that arise in ..; Inmate life is
no longer ..)
Inst. H. Mendoza pointed out awk (weak, the
proponents were quite confused of the
penmanship) sentence construction of the
first sentence.
She also commented on ideas that were
needed to be deleted because it was already
stated in the previous paragraphs.
Inst. H. Mendoza and Ms. W. Duban wanted
to know what government interventions will
be provided to the juvenile delinquents.

[/] Done. It have

been noted and
changed
accordingly.
[/] Already noted.
Sentence revised.

[/] Done.

[/] Done.

A question raised in relation to 2nd argument

which says that, if there is a limitation for the
time a child would spend in a rehabilitation
centers/correctional institution?

[c] This matter

was not discussed
in the second
argument.

Inst. H. Mendoza noticed that the rebuttal

was not able to address the con. On which
the points of the cons were not cited one by
one.

[/] Done. The

proponents
changed the
supporting ideas
for rebuttal in
order to properly
address the
issues pointed out
in the cons.
[/] Done.

Improper in-text citation of Leyritanas last

name and date of article.
[/] Done.
A comment raised in 3rd argument which
says that the proponents should consider too
that there are some children that
knowledgeable about what they are doing or
why they are committing such crimes.

ARGUMENT 3/4


CONCLUSION

REFERENCES /
APA FORMAT

Inst. H. Mendoza wants to shorten

sentences and see a better and conrete
course of action.
Ms. M. Gamboa pointed out in the
conclusion part about the recommendation
that the government institution may help
children to change for the better. Gamboa
commented that it contradicts in the counter
argument about the cost in building new
facilities and the assistance for the juveniles.

[/] Done.

Inst. H. Mendoza pointed correction on

format errors, not alphabetized citation, and
missing references.

[/] Done

[/] Done.