Professional Documents
Culture Documents
and a Funeral
R I C H A R D CURTIS
Level 5
Retold by Cherry Gilchrist
Series Editors: A n d y Hopkins and Jocelyn
Potter
Contents
page
v
Introduction
T h e People in this Story
vi
Chapter 1
T h e First Wedding
Chapter 2
T h e Second Wedding
22
Chapter 3
A Free Saturday
36
Chapter 4
T h e Third Wedding
45
Chapter 5
A Funeral
52
Chapter 6
T h e Fourth Wedding
56
Activities
69
Introduction
It's a s u m m e r Saturday m o r n i n g , a n d C h a r l e s i s still a s leep. H e s h o u l d b
e o n his w a y t o A n g u s a n d Laura's w e d d i n g already! C h a r l e s i s always
late, a n d h e i s always g o i n g t o w e d d i n g s . B u t t h e y a r e always o t h e r
peo ple ' s w e d d i n g s , n e v e r h i s o w n . H e has h a d p l e n t y o f girlfriends ,
but
he
i s w o r r i e d that h e w i l l
n e v e r find t h e r i g h t w o m a n
to
fourth wedding !
I t i s a l s o a s to ry a b o u t
is
sadness
too
in
the
story, w h e n
one
of the
friends
People
suggeste d f i f t y - f o u r different n a m e s f o r t h e f i l m . O n e o f t h e m w a
s Always Late, a n d o n e w a s In Love in England. A c t u a l l y t h e st or y says a
lo t a b o u t
lov e
an d
weddings
i n
Br i t a i n
today.
People
ask
two
most
important
characters
beautifu l
young American
woman
who
has
worked
in
fashion .
O t h e r i m p o r t a n t characters a r e
:
SCARLETT: A li ve ly y o u n g w o m a n w h o shares a flat w i t h C h a r l e s . S h e i s
n o t h i s g ir lf ri en d . S h e w o u l d like t o f i n d a b o y f r i e n d , b u t can't y e t f i
n d t h e right person.
TOM: A r i c h b u t n o t v e r y c le v e r f r ie n d of C h a r l e s , w h o
has n o
sister.
S h e
i s
v e r y
c lev e r
an d
ele ga n t , u nl ik e
he r
him.
Unfortunately, Charles
is
not
in
love
with
her.
his
food
l o u d , l iv el y
f rie n d
of Charles' s
who
enjoy s
h av e
G a r e t h , k i n d a n d i nt el lig en t . M a t t h e w a n
l iv e d t o g e t h e r h a p p i l y f o r a
long
JOHN: H e n r i e t t a ' s b r o t h e r . H e i s a v e r y b o r i n g m a n , a n d t h e g r o u p
o f fr ien d s d o n ' t usuall y in v i t e h i m t o t h e i r m e e t i n g s a n d parties.
vi
vi
S E R E N A : A n affectionat e y o u n g w o m a n , w h o falls i n l o v e w i t h D a v i d .
S h e learns sign l a n g u a g e speciall y s o
t h a t she
can
communicate
with him.
B E R N A R D : T o m ' s b e s t fr ien d . H e an d Ly di a g e t t o g e t h e r a t t h e
f i r s t w e d d i n g , a n d theirs i s t h e s e c o n d w e d d i n g i n t h e s tory.
L Y D I A : Laura's b r i d e s m a i d a t t h e f i r s t w e d d i n g . S h e d o e s n ' t t h i n k m u c h
of Bernard at t h e b e gi nni ng , bu t q uic kl y changes her m i n d w h e n h
e starts t o kiss her!
G E R A L D : A y o u n g priest. H e i s still s t u d y i n g a t t h e t i m e o f t h e
f i r s t w e d d i n g . H e i s ready t o t a k e the s e c o n d w e d d i n g s e r v i c e i n t h e
st o r y b u t h e i s n o t v e r y s el f -c o n f id en t .
vii
Chapter 1
T h e First W e d d i n
g
May
1st at
St John's
Church,
Stoke
Clandon,
Somerset
best
man. T h e
b e s t
m a n
h a s
t o
look
after
t h e
yet. T h e
alarm
clock
rings
loudly
next
to
his
bed. He
r e a c h e s o u t h i s h a n d , t u r n s i t off, a n d g o e s b a c k t o s l e e p .
T h e w e d d i n g i s i n t h e w e s t o f E n g l a n d , w h i c h i s a t least t w
o o r three h o u r s b y c a r f r o m L o n d o n , w h e r e C h a r l e s lives. S o m e
ofhis
other
friends
w e d d i n g before
are
Charles.
Fiona a r e u p and
awake
In
getting
though. They'll
their
ready
large,
to
fine
go. They
be
at
the
house, T o m
and
are
and
brother
sister, a n d t h e y
c o m e f r o m a v e r y r i c h family. T h e y a r e o p p o s i t e ty p e s o f p e o p l e :
F i o n a i s a ta ll , e l e g a n t a n d c l e v e r w o m a n ; T o m i s a h a p p y , b u t n o t
v er y intelligent, m a n .
T om
enjoys
breakfast w h i l e
his
Fiona
herself i n t o a smart
room and
food,
and
chooses
dress. S h e
he's
what
goes
to
now
eating
large
w e a r . Finally, s h e
downstairs to
the
zips
dining-
drinks i t , a n d
t h e y s e t of f. It's
Saturday, s o
the
traffi c
is
not too
bad, b u t
their
way
d Matthew, w h o
out
live
house. Ma t th e w i s
of
London,
together i n
cool
but
they
an
call
for
Gareth
an
attractive, c o u n t r y - s t y l e
kind, sympathetic
person -
very
o k e , a n d i s often
bright
clothes. H e
loves
to j
quite rude
boyfriends.
t o
other
people.
G areth
a n d
Matthew
a r e
are
not
as
late
as
Charles
though,
who
is
still
is
thirty-three
years
old, g o o d - l o o k i n g , a n d
always
Her
room
is
terrible
mess
there
are
it
in
her
voice
s he ' s
certainly
not
from
an
upper-
class family!
T h e y h u r r y t o g e t ready, a n d r u n o u t t o t h e c a r , c a r r y i n g s o
m e o f their
formal
wedding
clothes
with
them. T h e
car
is
God!
Oh
hell!'
says
better
take
yours.'
' M i n e ? ' s a y s Scar lett.'But i t onl y goes a t forty miles an hour!'
Charles
drives
her
car
so
fast
along
the
motorway
that
i t s h a k e s . I t i s a v e r y s m a l l , r e d c a r , a n d it's a l s o v e r y o l d a n d
rusty . T h e e n g i n e m a k e s a t e r r i b l e n o i s e . S c a r l e t t c a n ' t h a v e l o o k e d
after i t v e r y w e l l !
' W h a t road a r e w e l o o k i n g for?' a s k s Charles.
Scarlett h a s a m a p , b u t s h e hasn't l o o k e d a t i t yet. S h e p i c k s i
t u p j u s t a s t h e y pass a m o t o r w a y e x i t s i g n .
'I
sign b e h i n d h i m .
the
S c a r l e t t f i n d s t h e r i g h t p l a c e o n t h e m a p . 'It's t h e B 3 5 9 , ' s h
e says p r o u d l y .
' D a m n ! ' says
Charles. He
suddenly
puts
his
foot
on
the
b r a k e a n d starts t o d r i v e b a c k w a r d s a l o n g t h e m o t o r w a y . T h e r e i s a
lorry c o m i n g
up
fast
behind
them,
and
there
is
nearly
I t i s a be a ut i f u l s u n n y d a y n o t l o n g after n o o n a s t h e y a rri v e a
t t h e small c h u r c h i n t h e p e a c e f u l c o u n t r y s i d e . T h e c h u r c h bells a
r e ringing a n d a l l t h e
a n d S c a r l e t t j u m p o u t o f t h e ca r . C h a r l e s h a s n ' t f i n i s h e d d r e s s i n g
and
neither
has
their w e d d i n g
Scarlett.
They
clothes.
F o r
quickly
put
Charles,
on
it's
the
formal
rest
suit.
of
B ut
S c a r l e t t i s w e a r i n g a b r i g h t o r a n g e dress w i t h p u r p l e a r o u n d t h e
waist, a n d a n o r a n g e h a t t o m a t c h . C h a r l e s tries t o h e l p h e r d o i
t u p a t t h e b a c k , b u t t h e z i p gets stuck.
' H e l l , h e l l i s h h e l l ! ' says C h a r l e s , p u l l i n g a t t h e z i p .
'Damn
a nd
h e l l ! ' says
Scarlett.
S he
tries
t o
ge t
his
tie
of
her
bridesmaids
wonderful bunches
'Oh
helps
her.
They
are
both
holding
o f flowers.
no!' Charles
s ays, a n d
they
begin
to
run
towards
th
e c h u r c h . T h e y s m i l e a n d w a v e a t t h e b r i d e a s t h e y p as s h e r .
The
c h u r c h i s full o f f l o w e r s a n d a l l t h e w o m e n
e wearing
elegant
hats.
Charles
a n d
Scarlett
look
guests a r
around
and
finally s e e th ei r friends, F i o n a a n d T o m , G a r e t h a n d M a t t h e w . T h
e y go over t o th em .
Fiona
says
y o u r l a t e n e ss . '
to
Charles, 'There
is
sort
o f greatness
in
S c a r l e t t sits d o w n w i t h t h e m , b u t C h a r l e s p u t s a p i n k f l o w e r i n
t h e buttonhole o f h i s jacket a n d walks o n u p t h e church to
A n g u s , t h e b r i d e g r o o m , w h o i s w a i t i n g n e r v o u s l y f o r h i s best
man.
' S o r r y sorry,' s a y s
doesn't
matter,' s a y s A n g u s . ' I f y o u
hadn't
come Tom
w o u l d h a v e t a k e n y o u r place.'
'Thanks, T o m
you're
wonderful!
What
terrible
haircut
e best m a n i s always g i v e n t h e r i n g t o b r i n g t o t h e c h u r c h .
' N o , n o , o f c o urse not.' Ch ar le s to uc he s h i s p o c k e t confidently.
But he
is
secretly alarmed. W h e r e
is
the
ring? W h e n A n g u s
isn't l o o k i n g , h e s e a r c h e s f o r i t i n h i s p o c k e t s , b u t t h e y a r e a l l
e m p t y . O h G o d ! H e m u s t h a v e left i t a t h o m e !
Just t h e n , a n attractive girl i n a large black h a t a n d w h i t e
jacket walks into the church.
C h a r l e s a n d several o t h e r guests t u r n t o l o o k a t h e r .
' L a t e ! ' s a y s C h a r l e s . ' I h a t e i t w h e n p e o p l e a r e l a t e ! Hate it.'
T h i s m a k e s A n g u s s mi l e a little a n d h e s e e m s l e s s n e r v o u s
n o w . T h e n t h e w e d d i n g m u s i c starts.
' H e r e w e g o ! ' s a y s Charles , and A n g u s turns r o u n d t o l o o k a
this
bride, w h o
is holding
o n
expensive whit e
and
t o
is
walking u p
the
h e r father's
wedding
dress.
aisle
towards
arm, a n d
She
has
s he ' s
two
h i m . Laura
wearing a very
little
bridesmaids,
begins
the
service.
'Welcome
to
our
church
on
this w o n d e r f u l d a y f o r A n g u s a n d L a u r a ! '
B u t Charles is looking around him, wonde ri ng w h a t t o d o
a b o u t t h e r i n g . W h e n h e s e e s t h e g i r l i n t h e b l a c k h a t , h e starts
t o think
about
h e remembers
other
that
things
there
is
sh e' s
more
very
attractive.
Then
i s s i n g i n g n o w . H e tries t o m a k e o n e o f h i s frie nd s n o t i c e h i m , b
u t h a s n o luck.
A t last M a t t h e w l o o k s a t h i m . C h a r l e s p o i n t s a t h i s o w n r i n g
f i n g e r a n d t h e p a i n o n h i s f a c e tells M a t t h e w w h a t t h e p r o b l e m i
s.
'Please! H e l p m e ! ' Ch a r l e s silently m a k e s t h e w o r d s w i t h h i
s lips.
M a t t h e w whispers t o Gareth, b u t Ga r e t h holds o u t b o t h hands
t o s h o w that the r e i s n o r i n g o n t h e m . H e w h i s p e r s t o F i o n a , a n d t
o se v e r a l
more
friends
too. N o n e
of t h e m
is
wearing a
ring.
Matthew. S h e
i s
their
l a s t
hope. She
n e x t wo r d s o f t h e service, M a t t h e w n o d s t o
Charles yes,
they've g o t something!
'I'll b e b a c k i n a m o m e n t ! ' C h a r l e s s a y s t o t h e g r o o m , w h
o looks alarmed.
The
priest
continues
to
speak:
'Do
you
promise
to
love
h e r . . . ? ' w h i l e C h a r l e s g o e s d o w n t h e side o f t h e c h u r c h t o f i n
dMatthew.
A n g u s , t h e b r i d e g r o o m , i s saying ' I d o . '
Matthew
hands
something
to
Charles,
and
surprised a t w h a t M a t t h e w h a s g iv en h i m .
'It's t h e b e s t I c o u l d d o , ' w h i s p e r s M a t t h e w .
Ch ar l e s rushes ba ck t o t h e front o f t h e c h u r c h .
' D o y o u h a v e t h e r i n g ? ' a sk s t h e p r i e s t .
Charles
looks
W h e n h e sees i t , h e i s q u i t e s u r p r i s e d t o o . A n g u s p u t s t h e
r i n g on
to
his
bride's
finger.
b r i g h t l y - c o l o u r e d plastic h e a r t .
It
is
in
the
shape
of a
large,
church,
forwards w i t h
the
bride's
guitar
to
sister
and
sing p o p
her
music.
boyfriend
It's
an
come
old
Barry
M a n i l o w song.
Gareth
holds
h i s h e a d in
his
hands. T h e n h e pretends t o
s h o o t himself. H e i s le tt in g e v e r y b o d y k n o w that i t i s o n e o f t h e
m o s t terrible things he h a s ever heard.
At
last
egroom
it's
and
time
the
to
leave
guests
v e r y happy. E v e r y b o d y i s
the
walk
church. W h e n
out
smiling
of the
and
the
church
bride, t h
they
chatting. Charles
look
catches
it's
time
for
the
wedding
photos. T h e
photographer
under
the
b i g skirts
of the
bride's
wedding
dress. H e
t h i n k s it's f u n n y b u t t h e o t h e r s d o n ' t .
Charle s a n d h i s friends a l l g e t to gether i n their o w n g r o u p t
o chat. T h e r e ' s M a t t h e w a n d G a r e t h , there's F i o n a a n d T o m , a n d
o f course
the
lively
Charles's
brother, D a v i d ,
'Does
anybody
know,' a s k s
Charles, ' w h o
the
girl
in the
b l a c k h a t is? '
T h e y a l l l o o k a t h e r . S h e i s s t a n d i n g n o t f a r away, t a l k i n g
t o somebody's grandmother.
' H e r n a m e ' s C a r r i e , ' says F i o n a .
' S h e ' s p re tt y, ' says C h a r l e s .
' A w f u l g i r l ! ' says F i o n a . ' S h e ' s A m e r i c a n . S h e u s e d t o w o r k a t
Vogue, t h e f a s h i o n m a g a z i n e . * S h e l i v e s i n A m e r i c a n o w , a n d s h
e only
goes
o u t with
very
smart, elegan t p eo p l e . S o
you
can
a n d g r o o m leave
the
guests
their
ca r . T h e y l o o k v e r y h a p p y . P e o p l e w a v e a t t h e m a s t h e c a r i s
b e i n g d r i v e n away.
'Right, ' s a y s Gareth.'It's t i m e f o r the reception.'
T h e guests have to w a l k t h r o u g h a f a r m t o g e t t o t h e r e ce p t i o n .
I t i s v e r y pretty, b u t T o m steps i n s o m e c o w me s s .
' D i d a n y o f y o u d o this t o o ? ' h e asks, l o o k i n g a t h i s s h o e .
' T y p i c a l ! ' says F i o n a . ' O n l y m y b r o t h e r c o u l d d o t h a t ! '
'Well,'
said T o m ,
'I
might
find
love
T h e r e m i g h t b e a really n i c e g i r l there!
at
the
reception.
I don' t w a n t t o s poil m
y good
l uc k w i t h a hor ri bl e smell!'
H e stops t o cle an h i s sho e , a n d t h e o the rs w a l k o n to wa rd s t h
e house.
The
tanding outside
hands
bride
in
and
a
line.
groom
and
Everybody
their
families
has
to
a n d c o n g r a t u l a t e t h e m a s t h e y g o past.
' I n e v e r k n o w w h a t t o say,' s a y s F i o n a .
shake
are
their
* A magazine
America.
which
i s
very
famous
i n
Britain
and
grass
at the
looks very
front of t h e
beautiful. T h e
h o u s e . I t i s full o f f l o w e r s , a n d
guests
a r e
elegant
too,
but
i n
of the
women
have
dresses
with
flowers
on
them. T h e
a n d waitresses, a n d
at the
back o f t h e
t e n t , t h e b a n d i s g e t t i n g r e a d y t o pl ay.
C ha rl e s pushes t h r o u g h t h e c r o w d , trying to find Carrie . B u t
w h e n h e finally s e e s h e r , she
is
already talking t o a g o o d -
lookingman.
' T h e r a t ! ' says C h a r l e s . H e g o e s b a c k t o t h e d r i n k s t a b l e a n
d takes
two
glasses
o f wine. W h e n
he
turns
r o u n d again, s h e
i s a l o n e . H e offers h e r a d r i n k .
' O h h ello!' he s a y s b r i g h t l y . ' D o y o u w a n t o n e o f these?'
' T h a n k y o u , ' C a r r i e replies.
Charles
badly
wants
to
talk
to
her, but
he
can't
think
f a n y t h i n g t o say.
'Ah -
m m m '
he
can
T h e y a r e a l l silent f o r a m o m e n t w h o i s g o i n g t o s pe ak
f irs t? C h a r l e s d e c i d e s t o b e t h e f ir s t .
'So , J o h n , h o w ' s that lov el y girlfriend o f you rs? '
' S h e ' s n o t m y g i r l f r i e n d n o w , ' h e r e p l i e s s tiffly.
'Oh
h e a r d t h a t s h e w a s s till
s e e i n g o l d T o b y d e Lisle! S h e n e e d e d t w o m e n , y o u k n o w ! '
' S h e i s n o w m y w i f e , ' says J o h n , e v e n m o r e s t if f l y
T h e situation i s n o w e v e n m o r e em barr assin g than b efor e.
'Excellent, e x c ellent!' s a y s Charles, v e r y u n c o m f o r t a b l y . ' M a y
I c o n g r a t u l a t e y o u ? A n d i s t h e r e t h e s o u n d o f little f e e t y e t ? Y
o u k n o w - ba b i e s , a n d a l l that? N o ? O h w e l l , p l e n t y o f t i m e f o r
t h a t , is n't t h e r e ? '
' E x c u s e m e , ' says C a r r i e , a m u s e d . S h e w a l k s a w a y .
Charles
tells
himself t h a t
he
is
fool.
If he
hadn't
said
has
found
man
called
Gerald
to
talk
to.
He
l o o k s i n n o c e n t , b u t a b i t strange t o o . H e i s w e a r i n g a d a r k s u i t
a n d a black pullover.
' W h a t d o y o u d o ? ' s h e a sk s h i m .
' I ' m s t u d y i n g t o b e a priest,' h e an swer s .
' G o o d God,' s a y s Fiona.'Do y o u d o weddings?'
'Not
yet
will
do
later, o f c o u r s e .
It'll
make
me
very
n e r v o u s , I c a n t el l y o u ! ' H e l a u g h s u n c o m f o r t a b l y .
' T h a t ' s j u s t l i k e t h e first t i m e o n e h a s s e x , i sn' t i t ? ' F i o n a s a
y s sweetly.
Gerald i s even m o r e embarrassed n o w . ' A h well, I suppose
s o '
' N o t s o m u c h mess, though,' Fiona continues, but Ge ra ld c a n '
t reply a t a l l now.
David
has
Charles knows
come
over
to
sign
language
talk
to
Charles,
for
the
deaf
his
very
brother.
well,
nd
h a s c o m m u n i c a t e d l i k e this w i t h D a v i d s i n c e t h e y w e r e
children.
' H o w a r e y o u d o i n g ? ' D a v i d a sk s w i t h h i s h a n d s .
' D o y o u r e m e m b e r that t i m e w h e n w e w e r e p l ay i n g w i t h t h
e e n g i n e o n D a d ' s m o t o r b o a t , a n d m y l e g w a s a lmos t c u t off?'
'Yes.'
' W e l l , this i s w o r s e . '
Somebody
has
been
watching David a
pretty
girl
with
l o n g r e d hair. S h e i s w e a r i n g a b r i g h t y e l l o w hat. H e r n a m e i s
Serena. S h e points a t Da vi d .
' W h o ' s t h a t b o y o v e r t h e r e i n t h e g r e y s u i t ? ' s h e as k s M a t t h e w .
'His name's David,' M a t t h e w answers.
' H e ' s v e r y a t t r a c t i v e , i s n' t h e ? ' s h e s a y s .
' Y e s I ' v e a l w a y s t h o u g h t so.'
' W h y a r e t h e y u s i n g t h e i r h a n d s l i k e th a t? ' s h e asks.
' H e c a n ' t h e a r . H e ' s deaf,' s a y s M a t t h e w .
' O h g o o d heavens!'
' Si le n t , b u t v e r y attractive,' M a t t h e w c o n t i n u e s .
A n d n o w t h e f a t h e r o f t h e b r i d e te ll s e v e r y o n e t h a t d i n n e r i s
being
served.
He
asks
them
to
go
into
the
tent
and
sit
of man who
read a p ie c e
t h e w e d d i n g service. Scarlett
from t h e Bible
sits
d o w n next
to
c o m p l e t e stranger, a n d gives h i m a b i g k i s s o n t h e m o u t h .
' H i m y na me ' s Scarlett! D o n ' t l e t m e d r i n k t o o m u c h I g e
t m u c h t o o friendly!'
C h a r l e s , a s b e s t m a n , h a s t o s i t o n t h e t o p table w i t h t h e
family
H e s i t s d o w n n e x t t o a n o l d man, w h o looks a
nnoyed.
' H o w d o y o u d o m y n a m e i s Charles.'
'Don't
be
stupid!'
the
old
man
says
angrily. ' C h a r l e s
10
died
Ch a r l e s c a n s e e that t h e o l d m a n i s o b v i o u s l y m a d .
' N o , n o , o f c o u r s e n o t , ' C h a r l e s says h u r r i e d l y , a n d t r i e s n o t t
o have any m o r e conversatio n w i t h h i m .
D i n n e r i s ser ve d , a n d e v e r y b o d y b e g i n s t o eat. L a u r a , t h e b r i d e , i
s v e r y ha p py , a n d l a u g h s a n d talks w i t h e v e r y o n e n e a r h e r . E v
e n A n g u s i s smiling, w h i c h i s unusual f o r h i m . I n E ng la n d i t i
s a c u s t o m f o r t h e b e s t m a n t o m a k e a s p e e c h a n d a t l a s t it's t i
m e f o r C h a r l e s t o s t a n d u p . H e h i t s h i s glas s l o u d l y w i t h a
s p o o n , a n d p e o p l e stop eating a n d talking. Cha rle s i s ne rvo us .
'Ladies a n d g e n t l e m e n , I ' m sorry t o take y o u a wa y f r o m y o u
r conversation
and
the
wonderful
food, b u t
there
are
few
thing s that I n e e d t o s a y . T h i s i s o n l y t h e s e c o n d t i m e t h a t I h a
v e e v e r b e e n a best m a n . I h o p e that I
first
d i d t h e j o b well t h e
still t a l k i n g t o m e !
s a y that
Piers, t h e
I ' m n o t guilty. Y e s , I
groom, h a d
slept
with
did say in my
Paula's
younger
sister . B u t P a u l a k n e w t h i s a l r e a d y s h e r e a l l y d i d ! S h e w a s a b i t
s u rp ri se d t o he a r that h e h a d a l s o slept w i t h h e r m o t h e r . B u t I
don' t thin k their vio le nt t w o - d a y ma rria ge b ro k e u p because o f
that. I really d o n ' t t h i n k so!'
M o s t p eo p l e burst o u t l au g hi n g a t t h e j o k e - C a r r i e i s o n e o
f t h e m a n d s o m e clap, b u t there a r e a f e w straight faces.
' B u t o f c o u r s e I ' m h e r e t o d a y t o talk a b o u t A n g u s , a n d h e h a
s n o t h i n g t o h i d e , h a s h e ? W e l l , t ha t' s w h a t I t h o u g h t a t first . . . '
People
are
still
laughing,
as
Charles
becomes
serious
for
amoment.
'I'd like t o s a y that I d o t h i n k v e r y h i g h l y o f p e o p l e w h o g e
t m a r r i e d , like A n g u s a n d Laura. M a r r i a g e i s a b i g s t e p t o take, a
n d I k n o w I c o u l d n ' t d o i t . B u t I t h i n k it's w o n d e r f u l t h a t t h e y
c a n . N o w , bac k t o A n g u s a n d those sheep!'
E v e r y b o d y laughs
a n d claps, a n d t h e n
Charles
as k s
them
o raise t h e i r glasses a n d d r i n k t o A n g u s a n d L a u r a .
a s bride a n d g r o o m a r e
the
first t o c o m e o u t o n t o t h e d a n c e f l o o r . L a u r a e n j o y s h e r s e l f , a n
d
d ances i n
Perhaps
dance
very
he's n e v e r
heard
together. T h e y
dances
wildly,
lively
manner,
pop
are
music
both
but
Angus
before.
Scarlett
enthusiastic
a n d T o m v e r y badly, b u t
moves
and Tom
dancers;
they
enjoy
stiffly
Scarlett
themselves
I first
to
s a w Gareth
myself, " P e o p l e
dance,' M a t t h e w
will
be
killed.
tells
Lives
Charles, ' I
will
be
B u t C h a r l e s i s n o t really c o n c e n t r a t i n g o n w h a t M a t t h e w i s
saying. H e
i s looking f o r Carrie. W h e n h e
sees
her, s h e
is
already d a n c i n g w i t h a n o t h e r m a n .
' S he' s pretty, isn't s h e ? ' M a t t h e w n o t i c e s that C h a r l e s i s l o o k i n g
a t her, ' I s i t love? '
Th i s m a y b e true, b u t Charles i s surprised a n d alarmed t o h e a r
Matthew say it
.
' O h , g o o d G o d n o n o , it's t h e m a n t h a t sh e' s d a n c i n g w i t h !
Iwas
at
school
with
him.
I'm just
trying
to
remember
his
Charles. ' I
mean - it
usually
takes
me
about
t h r e e w e e k s t o ask.'
By
about
nine
o ' c l o c k , it's
getting
dark, a n d
the
bride
an
d g r o o m a r e al mo s t r ead y t o leave. La ur a h a s d r u n k a l o t b y n o
12
w,and
she
is
enthusiastically
kissing
12
some
of her
distant
'They promised
bridesmaid,
me sex,' says
Lydia.
'Everybody
Nobody
has
'But has
been
said
it
it.
"If you're
happened?
No,
a
it
near me.'
in
the
tent,
Lydia,
the
young
woman
who
was
a b ri d e s ma i d a t t h e ma r r i a g e service, is sitting w i t h h e r h e a d i n h
e r hands.
S h e
looks
depressed.
S h e
i s
still
b r i d e s m a i d ' s dres s a n d t h e f l o w e r s a r o u n d h e r h e a d .
' H o w ' s i t g o i n g , Lyds?' a s k s
B e r n a r d . A w f u l . Just awful,'
complains Lydia.
13
wearing
h e r
14
'They
promised
me
sex,'
says
said
it. " I
you. You'll
have
to
fight
them
off."
But
has
i t
h a p p e n e d ? N o , i t hasn't. N o b o d y h a s b e e n n e a r m e . '
' W e l l , l o o k . . . ' s a i d B e r n a r d , a little s h y n o w , ' I m e a n i f y o
u like - I c o u l d '
' D o n ' t b e stupid, Be r n a r d . I ' m n o t desperate!' answers Lydia
sharply
' N o , n o , o f course
d replies
n o t sorry -
etc
W h e n t h e b r i d e a n d g r o o m a r e finally r e a d y t o g e t i n thei r
ca r , L a u r a t h r o w s h e r b u n c h o f f l o w e r s a t t h e g u e s t s . T h e p e r s o n
w h o catches it will b e t h e n e x t person t o g e t marrie d - o r s o
people believe.
Scarlett
r ais e s
her
hand
to
catch
it, but
fails.
F i o n a st e p s o u t o f t h e w a y . A n d L y d i a i s t h e o n e w h o c a t c h e s i t !
The
car has
s t r i n g o f tins
tied to
it, and
rude
things
neck!
E v e r y b o d y laughs. T h e y a l l
playing 'Love
n o t true
the tent. T h e
i s A l l Around'. Obviously h e
f o r him. Later o n , h i s
group
feels
that
o f friends b e g i n
to
and
are
going
to
some
pub
The
Lucky
no
coming back
to
the
my
plan
place.
has
changed. T h e
Nansy's
there
others
you
are
all
know,
our
lovely
when we
get
there, a n d w e
games. W o u l d y o u
like
o come too?'
'Yes, exce llent , thanks v e r y m u c h . I s there a r o o m f o r Scarlett,
too?'
' O h o f course we've g o t a hun dre d a n d thirty-seven rooms
ac t ua l l y . '
T o m ' s ' p l a c e ' i s h i s f a m i l y c astle. T h e h o u s e i n L o n d o n i s n o
t their o n l y h o m e .
' T o m , ' a sk s C h a r l e s , ' a r e y o u t h e r i c h e s t m a n i n E n g l a n d ? '
' O h n o , n o ! I b e l i e v e w e ' r e n u m b e r s e v e n o n t h e list. W e l l ,
t h e Q u e e n c o m e s first, o b v i o u s l y . A n d t h a t R i c h a r d B r a n s o n m a
n
is
Well, excellent
news -
his pop
I'm
glad
music
that
and h i s
you're
aeroplanes.*
coming. I'll
go
n d t e l l Scarlett.'
S u d d e n l y C a r r i e appears n e x t t o Charle s .
' H i ! ' says C h a r l e s , s u r p r i s e d . T t h o u g h t y o u ' d g o n e . '
' N o n o t yet. I w a s j u s t w o n d e r i n g w h e r e a r e y o u s t a y i
n g tonight?'
' W e l l , I w a s g o i n g t o sta y a t s o m e p u b - T h e L u c k y B o a t ? '
' B o a t m a n , ' C a r r i e tells h i m . ' T h e L u c k y B o a t m a n . '
'Right. B u t
now
I'm
going t o
s t a y with
some
friends
at
t h e i r h o u s e . W e l l , I s a y h o u s e , b u t it's r e a l l y a n e n o r m o u s c a s t l e . . .
'
' O h , w h a t a shame - because I ' m staying a t t h e B o a t m a n . '
'Oh!'
says
Charles,
perfect invitation
He
but
surprised
he
again.
doesn't
This
reply
is
quickly
really
enough.
n i c e t o meet you. T h o u g h w e
didn't quite
* Richard
company.
Branson,
British
businessman,
owns
t h e
famous Virgi n
15
band
has
stopped
d boyfriend a r e back w i t h
trying t o
dance
now to
O t h e r s a r e kissing, a n d
playing,
but
the
bride's
thei r guitar. O n l y f o u r p e o p l e
their music, w h i c h i s
a
s is te r
f e w really
an
are
n o t v e r y l i v e ly .
drunk people
have
fallen
It's t i m e f o r t h e
ca st l e . H o w a b o u t y o u , T o m a r e y o u d r u n k ? C a n y o u d r i v e u s
safely?'
' O f course , o f course,' s a y s T o m . 'I've h a d n o t h i n g t o dr in k t h
e w h o l e e v e n i n g . ' B u t w h e n h e s t a n d s u p , h e n e a r l y falls o v e r !
H e mu s t have d r u n k m o r e t h a n h e thinks!
T h e g r o u p o f f r i e n d s g e t i n t o T o m ' s b i g ca r , a n d t h e y d r i v e a w a
y through t h e quiet countryside under t h e s t a r s . They're trying
t o s i n g , b u t t h e y ' r e f i n d i n g t h e h i g h b i t s q u i t e d i f f i c u l t . Change to
walking
C h a r l e s says, ' T o m , c a n y o u s t o p t h e ca r ? '
T o m brakes suddenly.
' S o r r y , ' C h a r l e s a p o l o g i s e s . T t h i n k I will g o t o t h e p u b . '
'But why? ' asks Tom.
' A h ' Charles i s
uncomfortable, a n d
w h a t t o say.
Everyone makes a j o k e o f i t .
doesn't k n o w
exactly
16
sets
off in
o u n t r y road. H e
the
opposite
does manage t o
direction d o w n
the
find h i s w a y t o
dark
t h e pub,
though by the
t i m e h e arrives, i t i s a b o u t o n e
o'clock i n t h e morning. I t
She
is
sitting peacefull y
in
large, c o m f o r t a b l e
'Hello,' s a y s Charles.
S h e l o o k s a t h i m w i t h a q u e s t i o n i n h e r eyes, b u t she i s
smiling too.
'Hi.'
' T h e r e wasn't e n o u g h r o o m f o r everybody,' Ch a r le s lies,'so . ..'
' Y o u s a i d i t w a s a ca st le, ' C a r r i e r e m i n d s h i m .
' D i d I ? Y e s , that' s t r u e i t is a c a s t l e . B u t it's a v e r y s m a l l
o n e . O n l y o n e r o o m upstairs a n d o n e r o o m d o w n s t a i r s v e r y
rare!'
T h e y bo t h enjoy t h e j oke.
A
waiter c om e s i n
and
asks
like a
d r i n k , sir?'
C h a r l e s orders a d r i n k f o r himself, a n d o n e f o r C a r r i e t o o . B u
t when h e
Carrie where h a s
she
g o n e ? T h e n G e o r g e w a l k s d o w n t h e stairs . H e i s t h e b o r i n g m a
n w h o read l o u d l y i n
church. H e
is
whistling a n d
he
seems
haven't
s peaki ng loudly.
seen
Carrie,
have
you?'
George
is
still
17
s e e her, c o u l d y o u
tell h e r t h a t
I'm in my
r o o m ? ' ask s G e o r g e , n o t v e r y p l e a s e d .
' Y e s , y e s , ' says C h a r l e s , h o p i n g t h a t h e ' l l g o a w a y q u i c k l y .
B u t j u s t then, the waiter c o m e s b a c k w i t h t h e t w o drinks.
' O n e f o r y o u , sir,' h e s a y s , ' a n d o n e f o r t h e '
' O n e f o r t h e r o a d ! ' say s C h a r l e s b r i g h t l y , b e f o r e t h e w a i t e r c a n
s a y 'lady'.
'Actually, I th in k I ' d l i k e a d r i n k t o o ! C a n I j o i n y o u ? '
'Ye s l o v e l y idea,' s a y s C h a r l e s un h a p p i l y .
' A n o t h e r d r i n k h e r e a n d a c i g a r ! ' G e o r g e call s o u t t o t h e w a i t e r .
' N o , let's h a v e a b o t t l e ! W e ' l l d r i n k t i l l d a y l i g h t , e h , C h a r l e s ? '
C h a r l e s sits d o w n o n t h e s o f a , a n d G e o r g e o n a c h a i r . C h a r l e s
k n o w s C a r r i e i s b e h i n d t h e sofa. S h e i s t r y i n g t o escape.
' L o v e l y w e d d i n g , ' says G e o r g e .
' Y e s , ' says C h a r l e s , w o n d e r i n g h o w h e c a n g e t a w a y .
T w a s a t school w i t h Angus's brother, B u f f y . Excellent m a n ,
t h o u g h h e l i k e d little b o y s t o o m u c h . Still, i t t a u g h t m e a f e w o f
life's l e s s o n s . W h e r e d o y o u k n o w t h e b r i d e a n d g r o o m f r o m ? '
' A n g u s a n d La ur a ? O h , f r o m university,' an sw er s C h a r l e s . H e i s
n o t exactly enjoyin g t h e conversation.
'Yes, yes,
excellent
place.
didn't
go
to
university
myself
t h o u g h . I w o r k i n t h e m o n e y m a r kets, y o u know. W h a t g o o d a r
e
b o o k s t h e r e ? N o t m u c h a t all.'
' E x c u s e m e sir.' T h e w a i t e r i s b a c k a g a i n . H e h a s a m e s s a g e f o
r C h a r l e s . ' Y o u r w i f e a sk s y o u
to
go
upstairs a t o n c e . R o o m
T w e l v e . S h e sa i d t h a t y o u m a y b e t o o d r u n k t o r e m e m b e r t h e
number.'
18
' M y w i f e ? ' as k s C h a r l e s , i n s u r p r i s e .
' Y e s , sir,' t h e w a i t e r r e p l i e s .
' O h y e s , o f c o u r s e , m y w i f e ! ' C h a r l e s s ays, a s h e u n d e r s t a n d s .
' Y o u m u s t b e d r un k! ' s a y s G e o r g e . ' Y o u can't e v e n r e m e m b e r
whethe r you've got a wife!'
' Y e s will y o u excuse m e ? '
' O h yes, o f f y o u g o ! G o o d luck! Wel l , I haven't g o t a wife, s o
I'll g o a n d l o o k f o r t h a t K a t i e w o m a n . '
' C a r r i e , ' says C h a r l e s .
' Y e s , t ha t' s t h e o n e . A f i n e g i r l . I t h i n k I m i g h t b e l u c k y t h e r e ! '
n ee d t o . D o y o u w a n d e r a lot?' S h e
is
gently
jokingwith him.
' N o , ' says C h a r l e s , s t i l l n e r v o u s , ' I ' m n o t r e a l l y a w a n d e r e r I
don't usually w a n d e r a l o t b u t '
'Well,' C a r r i e s a y s , ' w h y don't y o u c o m e in and w a n d e r here
a little, a n d t h e n w e ' l l s e e ? '
S h e leads h i m i n t o t h e r o o m .
'It's s t r a n g e , ' s h e says. ' T h e b r i d e a n d b r i d e g r o o m d i d n ' t k i s s
in t h e c hur c h . W h e r e I c o m e from , kissing i s v e r y popular.'
' I s i t ? Y e s , I t h i n k y o u ' r e r i g h t . ' C h a r l e s i s s p e a k i n g fast. ' I
think
English peo pl e a r e probably m o r e shy'
' I always worry,' co n t i n ue s C a r r i e , 'that I w o u l d g o t o o f a r i
nthe
church
you
know,
at
service
19
the
place
in
the
marriage
Carrie
kisses
Charles
on
the
mouth.
don't
know. '
S h e gives h i m
a v e r y small k i s s
on t
But
it
might
be
dangerous
to
go
further,'
says
20
The
pub
is
in
the
middle
of the
countryside. It
looks
v e r y p e a c e f u l i n t h e m o r n i n g . C a r r i e g e t s u p first a n d p a c k s .
W h e n Charles w a k e s u p , s h e i s a lready z i p p i n g u p h e r b a g . H
e r face looks beautiful i n the early m o r n i n g light.
' W h a t ' s h a p p e n i n g ? ' asks C h a r l e s .
' I h a v e t o go,' s h e a n s we r s .
'But where t o ? '
' T o America.'
' T h a t ' s a t r a g e d y , ' h e say s.
'But before I
g o , w h e n a r e y o u g o i n g t o tell e v e r y b o d y ? '
C a r r i e asks h i m .
' T e l l e v e r y b o d y ? ' C h a r l e s asks i n s u r p r i s e . ' T e l l t h e m w h a t ? '
' W e l l , y o u ' l l t el l t h e m t h a t w e ' r e g o i n g t o g e t m a r r i e d , w o n ' t
you?'
'Ge t married?' He is alarmed now.
' W e slept t o g e t h e r l a s t n i g h t w e m a d e l o v e s o t h a t
m e a n s w e ' r e g e t t i n g m a r r i e d , do e s n' t it?'
' W e l l - y e s o h d e a r w e n e e d t o t h i n k h a r d a b o u t this, y
o u know,' he s a y s unhappily.
T h e n s u d d e n l y h e n o t i c e s she 's s m i l i n g .
' O h , y o u ' r e j o k i n g ! ' h e s ays . ' T h a n k G o d ! F o r a m o m e n t , I
thought I
was in one
21
Chapter 2
You are invited to
August
1st at
T h e Second Wedding
the
Church
of St Mary
London
It
is
three
months
later ,
and
on
EC2
Charles's
alarm
clock
is
once
a g a i n . H e l ik e s t o s l e e p u n t i l n o o n ,
w h e n e v e r h e c a n . S c a r l e t t i s still a s l e e p i n h e r u n t i d y b e d r o o m . S o
m e t i m e later, t h e r e i s a l o u d s h o u t f r o m C h a r l e s ' s r o o m . H e h a s
w o k e n u p , a t last.
' O h hell!'
H e j u m p s o u t o f b e d , a n d r u n s i n t o Scarlett, dressed o n l y i
n h i s underclothes.
' O h G o d ! ' s a y s Scarlett, w h e n s h e l o o k s a t h e r c l o c k .
They
run
out
of the
house
before
they
have
finished
ut on a
si l l y p i n k d r e s s w i t h a n e n o r m o u s s k i r t , b u t s h e c a n ' t z i p i t u
p right. S h e i s g o i n g t o b e a bridesmaid.
' C a r o r t a x i ? ' s h e a s k s , still r u n n i n g .
' T a x i , ' says C h a r l e s . ' W e w o n ' t b e a b l e t o p a r k t h e car.'
They get to
the
c o r n e r o f t h e s t r e e t a n d start l o o k i n g f o r
a ta xi . B u t t h e r e isn't o n e a n y w h e r e .
' W e l l , m a y b e t h e c a r i s a b e t t e r idea,' s a y s C h a r l e s .
T h e y r u s h d o w n a n o t h e r s t r e e t t o f i n d S c a r l e t t ' s ca r. B u t w h e n
the y g e t there, i t can't b e m o v e d . Scarlett m u s t h a v e parke d i t i
n t h e w r o n g place
police.
'D a mn ! ' they both shout at once.
T h e y w i l l h a v e t o g o o n f o o t . T h e y r u n a s fast a s t h e y c a n .
' T h e s e r v i c e w i l l start b e f o r e w e g e t there,' C h a r l e s t h i n k s t
o himself.
22
Charles
But
there
isn't one
looking for a
anywhere.
T h e s k i r t s o f S c a r l e t t ' s s il l y p i n k dress fl y u p i n t h e w i n d a n d
, a s s h e r u n s , a p i e c e o f t h e d r e s s falls o f f .
Charle s i s g o i n g t o s t o p a n d p i c k i t u p , b u t Scarlett s a y s ,
'Leave
i t ! N o b o d y will notice!'
T h e y r u n a l l t h e w a y t o t h e c h u r c h , a n d a s the y ge t near,
they can
hear
the
bells
ringing
loudly.
Some
o f their
friends
23
young
nervous.
priest
comes
i n ,
looking
worried
a n d
It's F a t h e r G e r a l d , w h o t h e y m e t a t t h e last w e d d i n g
r e c e p t i o n . H e ' s f i n i s h e d h i s s t u d y i n g , a n d n o w h e ' s a r ea l p r i e s t .
Today T o m
is
best
man. He
has
remembered
to
bring t h
e r in gs , o n e e a c h f o r th e b r i d e a n d g r o o m . H e takes t h e m o u t
o f h i s pocket a n d shows them t o
h i s e y e s l i k e a p a i r o f glasses. C h a r l e s s m i l e s a n d w a v e s a t h i m .
A s
t h e
wedding
music
starts ,
t h e
bride
a n d
her
kissed h e r
bridegroom, Bernard,
a t
t h e
l a s t
wedding
reception. Th er e a r e
f o u r b r i d e s m a i d s . T w o a r e little girls a n d t w o are w o m e n . O n e o
f t h e m i s S c a r l e t t . A s s h e w a l k s u p t h e ais le , e v e r y o n e c a n s e e h
e r b r i g h t b l u e u n d e r c l o t h e s . T h e p i e c e o f h e r dress t h a t f e l l o f f
has left a la rg e
hole
in
the back
o f h e r dress!
S c a r l e t t i s s till
Gerald
begins
to
read
the
words
of the
marriage
g e t t h e groom's name
y Bernard's
middle
n a m e . It's
right, h e
he
doesn't k n o w h o w t o s a
spoken
as
'Sinjun'.
' . . . B e r n a r d G e o f f r e y S i j j j j j j e r n D e l a n e y ' says F a t h e r G e r a l d ,
hurriedly. E v e r y o n e i s smiling. T h i s i s a l l v e r y entertaining.
Now, as
the
priest
speaks, t h e b r i d e
a n d g r o o m have
to
r e p e a t t h e s a m e w o r d s after h i m .
' I B e r n a r d D e l a n e y ' says F a t h e r G e r a l d , l e a v i n g o u t t h e S t
J o h n part n ow . ' D o take y o u , Lydia J a n e H i b b o t t , t o b e m y awful
24
w e d d e d wife.' T h i s
is
not what he
should s a y a t a l l !
He is
s o n e r v o u s that he's g e t t i n g t h e w o r d s m i x e d u p !
' T o be my
lawful
w e d d e d wife,' B e r n a r d
s ay s . T h e s e
are the
w o r d s F a t h e r G e r a l d s h o u l d h a v e s a id .
'That's ri gh t . Th at ' s right,' s a y s F at he r G e r a l d . H e doesn' t k n o w
e xac tl y w h a t he's d o i n g n o w , b u t s o m e h o w t h e y g e t t o t h e e n d
o f t h e service.
'Well done!' shouts Gareth, clapping, a n d t h e others c o p y h i m .
It's l i k e
being at the
service, e ve r y b o d y
The
that
it's
a ll
in
an
elegant L o n d o n
hotel. T h e
guests s e e m t o b e f r o m r i c h , u p p e r - c l a s s familie s . A l l t h e m e n a r e
w e a r i n g f or ma l w e d d i n g coats, a n d t h e w o m e n a r e i n expensiv e
dr esses . L y d i a , t h e b r i d e , i s i n a n e x c e l l e n t m o o d ; s h e i s l a u g h i n g
and
kissing
dMatthew
the
have
guests
as
already
they
found
arrive.
the
Charles,
drinks.
G areth
They
are
an
used
t o weddings, a n d k n o w exactly w h a t t o d o .
'Do
'Two
you kn ow what
people
t h e y can't
are
think
in
think
love. T h e y
o f anything
to
about
marriage?' a s k s Gareth.
live
together, then
say
to
each
suddenly
other. T h e y ' r e
people
get
married
when
they
can't
communicate
25
'Excellent!' s a y s Gareth.
'It's a n i n t e r e s t i n g i d e a , G a r e t h , ' s a y s C h a r l e s .
'Of
course,
there's
another
idea.
Some
people
think
that
w e d d i n g s a r e a b o u t t r u e love,' s a y s M a t t h e w , l o o k i n g a t G a r e t h .
' W e l l , that's
listened
thought,' Charles
seriously;
Charles
is
very
replies
lightly. B u t
confused
about
he
love
has
and
marriage a t t h e m om e nt .
T h e r e c e p t i o n i s v e r y b u s y n o w , full o f w e l l - d r e s s e d gue st s w h o
a r e d r in k i n g a n d chatting, l au g h in g a n d calling t o o n e another.
Charle s i s just fetching three m o r e drinks, w h e n a v o i c e s a y s ,
' H i . ' H e t u r n s r o u n d . It's C a r r i e . S h e l o o k s w o n d e r f u l .
'Hello,' s a y s Charles , and nearly drops the drinks.
' H o w a r e you?' a s k s Carrie.
'Fine. Fine. S o r r y I ' m s o s urprised, a n d so pleased to s e e y o u
. D o n ' t g o b a c k t o A m e r i c a ! Please! W a i t h e r e I ' l l b e b a c k i n t
w o seconds. O K ? '
' O K , ' s h e smiles.
H e rushes b ac k t o t h e others.
'That's
yours. A n d
that's
yours,' h e
says, g i v i n g
them
their
to
meet
H a m ish.
H a m i s h a n d I a r e g o i n g t o g e t married.'
T h i s i s a h o r r i b l e s h o c k f o r C h a r l e s , b u t h e tries t o h i d e i t .
'Excellent, excellent. I ' m happy to m e e t yo u, Hamish. Lovely
surprise t o find C a r r i e b a c k i n t h i s c o u n t r y again.'
H a m i s h i s a n e l e g a n t a n d c o n f i d e n t m a n o f a b o u t fifty. H e i s
Scottish.
26
can't
why
is
he
so
very
is unhappy about
unhappy?
He
doesn't
what's
happening
here? W h y
a m
always
a t
not
smart
enough,' s a y s
it
c o u l d b e b e c a u s e y o u h a v e n ' t m e t t h e r i g h t g ir l . '
' A h , b u t i s that r i g h t ? ' C h a r l e s asks. ' M a y b e I
have met th
e r i g h t g i r l . M a y b e I m e e t t h e r i g h t g i r l s a l l t h e t i m e . M a y b e it's
me
- I ' m t h e problem.'
' O h , r u b b i s h ! ' says M a t t h e w .
A n d t h e n it's t i m e f o r d i n n e r . E v e r y o n e h a s b e e n t o l d t o l o o k a t
a w r i t t e n t a b l e p l a n t o f i n d o u t w h e r e t h e y h a v e t o sit. I t h a s
a l l b e e n o r g a n i z e d v e r y c a r efully.
'Come
o n , ' says
wi f e a t dinner.'
Charles looks at t h e
my
d o e s n ' t t el l M a t t h e w w h y h e i s s o a l a r m e d .
27
God!' he
says , b u t
it
was
only
for
a b o u t fifteen m i n u t e s . I
don't
C h a r l e s h a s n o w f o u n d h i s table, a n d s i t s d o w n w i t h t w o m e
n a n d f o u r y o u n g w o m e n , w h o a r e a l l attractive a n d a b o u t t h e s a
meage
G reat
Ch ar le s , v e r y n e r v o u s n o w . 'Yes hello V e e !
to
see
you.'
table. She's l a u g h i n g w i t h
He
can
see
Matthew and
Carrie
on
Gareth. Charles
Hi
another
would
28
well. I
to o k Veronica
out
to
India
at
Christmas t o
see
the
right,'
Charles
answers.
So
Veronica
was
once
girlfriend o f Charles's.
' C h a r l e s w a s h o r r i b l e , ' says V e r o n i c a . ' I w a s r e a l l y i l l , a n d h e j u
s t j o k e d a l l t h e time.'
' I w a s o n l y t r y i n g t o m a k e y o u f e e l better, Vee.'
' O h , y o u ' r e that V e r o n i c a , ' s a y s N i c k i .
' W h i c h Veronica?' Veronica
asks. ' C h a r l i e
what
have
you
b e e n saying?' She's w o r r i e d t o o n o w .
B u t Charles doesn't w a n t t o answer the question. ' R e m e m b e r
B o m b a y ? ' h e a sk s b r i g h t l y .
N i c k i continues . ' W h e n Ch arl es a n d I w e r e g o i n g o u t together,'
- s o she's a n o t h e r o l d g i r l f r i e n d o f h i s ' h e t o l d m e a b o u t t h i
s "interesting" j o u r n e y
he'd
taken
round
India
with
"Vomiting
come
on,
Charles,'
says
Martha,
w h o
is
old
29
Charles, b u t t h e
three
girls
a r e
fourth
girl, w h o
is
sitting quietly n e x t
to
him
great
speeches!' h e
s ay s . A t
least
they
can't
talk
a b o u t h i m a n y m o r e u n t i l later.
E v e r y o n e claps T o m a s h e stands u p .
'Yes w h e n B e r n a r d told m e h e w a s getting ma r r i e d t o Lydia,
I c o n g r a t u l a t e d h i m . A l l h i s o t h e r g i r l f r i e n d s w e r e real d o g s , y o
u s e e ! A n d o f course, I ' m delighted t o s e e s o m a n y o f t h e m h
e r e this e v e n i n g . . . '
I t i s a terrible speech, b u t T o m thinks h e i s d o i n g well. S o
does
G a r e t h ! H e s e e m s t o e n j o y really a wf u l things.
'Camilla
is
one
o f t h e m i t ' s lovely t o
see you
again,
C a m i l l a ! S h e w a s t h e first p e r s o n w h o B e r n a r d w a n t e d t o m a r r y .
S h e t o l d h i m t o g o t o h e l l ! It's l u c k y f o r L y d i a t h a t s h e d i d ! '
When
the
dinner a n d
t h e f o r m a l parts
of the
reception a r
is
the
wedding
from
hell!'
Charles
answers.
'Old
g i r l f r i e n d s e v e r y w h e r e . I'll p r o b a b l y m e e t H e n r i e t t a n e x t . T h a t ' l l
really finish t h e d a y o f f f o r m e ! '
' H e l l o , C h a r l e s , ' a v o i c e says f r o m b e h i n d h i m . It's H e n r i e t t a
a n d ,
of course,
she's
also
o n e
o f Charles's
o ld
girlfriends.
C h a r l e s s e e m s t o h a v e n o l u c k a t a l l t o d a y . H e n r i e t t a i s a ta ll , d a r
k girl, a n d
30
y o u ? ' say s
Charles
brightly, tr yi n g t o
has
started
to
h a s been
learn
sign
hoping t o
language
meet him
so
that
learning,'
p r o b a b l y m a k i n g lots
s a y s
Serena
o f mistakes.' S h e
with
h e r
hands.
' I ' m
certainly i s s h e
signs
31
C h a r l e s i s i n a b e d r o o m upstairs. I t s e e m s t o b e
empty t h e
d o o r w a s o p e n , b u t th e r e w a s n o b o d y inside , j u s t a suit h a n g i n g u p
o n a cupboard
door.
It's
dark
now,
but
he
doesn't
turn
the
l i g h t o n . H e g o e s t o t h e w i n d o w a n d l o o k s d o w n o n t o t h e st r e e t
below. H e
j u s t stands t h e r e quietly, g l a d t o b e a l o n e i n a c a l m r o o m . B u t
af t er a m i n u t e o r t w o , h e s e e s C a r r i e d o w n t h e r e . S h e ' s c o m i n g o
u t o f t h e hotel w i t h H a m i s h . T h e y have their arms aro un d e a c h
o t h e r a n d l o o k v e r y happy. T h e y g e t i n t o a taxi t o g e t he r . C h a r l e s
watches t h e m unhappily a s t h e y drive o f f . H e seems t o b e v e r y
depressed.
T h e n
the
come
in,
ki ssin g noisily. T h e y a r e s o i n t e re s t e d i n e a c h o t h e r t h a t t h e y
don't notice Charles. T h e y
Lydia i n
are
still
dressed
for the
wedding
they're
on
not
the
h e begins
to
ready
to
change
bed. Charles
try
to
yet. They
wonders
how
w a l k from t h e
he
are
can
window to
about
to
escape, a
the
door
very, v e r y quietly.
Then
suddenly Lydia
cries, 'Wait a m i n u t e ! T h i s
i sn' t
good
e n o u g h ! I w a n t t o s e e m y lovely husband!'
S h e turns on t h e light. S h e is l yin g o n t o p o f Ber na rd s h e
still h a s
h e r
dress
o n , b u t
Charles
knows
what's
happening
small
There's almost
it's
washroom
no
room
in
no
it
more
for
than
Charles!
c u p b o a r d , r ea l l y !
He
waits
there;
f o r hours.
dancing
to
the
lively
32
music.
Scarlett
is
sitting
in
Upstairs, i n
the
b e d r o o m , t i m e passes. L y d i a
a n d Bernard a r e
still m a k i n g l o v e , v e r y n o i s i l y . C h a r l e s i s s i t t i n g o n t h e b a s i n i n
t h e washroom. H e looks a t h i s watch.
'God, are
d known
they
they
were
going
to
going
finish
t o
take
soon?' h e
s o
wonders.
long, h e
If he'
h i d d e n there.
' O h - I l o v e m y w i f e ! ' cries B e r n a r d .
'I- l ov e- m y-h usb and ! ' screams Lydia.
They
f i n i s h . After
quiet
moment
or two
B e r n a r d says,
says
Lydia, ' w e
could
wait
few
minutes
and
star t a g a i n ! '
' N o , n o ! ' C h a r l e s shakes h i s h e a d inside t h e c u p b o a r d .
H e r e a l l y c a n ' t stay t h e r e a n y l o n g e r , s o h e o p e n s t h e d o o r .
H e w a l k s p a s t L y d i a a n d B e r n a r d w h o a r e still l y i n g o n t h e b e d . T
heyare
amazed
and
st ar e
at
pr et end s that
33
him
in
great
surprise, b u t
he
it's n o t s t r a n g e a t all. H e h o l d s u p a p e n c i l a s h e w a l k s t o w a r d s t h
edoor of the room.
' I f o u n d i t ! ' h e s ays, a n d g o e s o u t .
pleasantly.
I s t h i s a b a d dream? B u t
H e n r i e t t a t h a n st a y i n
the bedroom w
i t h B e r n a r d a n d Lydia!
T h e y st ar t w a l k i n g d o w n s t a i r s t o g e t h e r .
' T h e t h i n g i s , C h a r l i e , I ' v e s p o k e n t o lots o f p e o p l e a b o u t
you.'
' O h , G o d ! ' says C h a r l e s .
' A n d e v e r y o n e agrees t h a t you're i n r e a l trouble, Charles,' s h
e c o n t i n u e s seriously.
' A m I ? ' h e as k s .
' Y o u see , y o u h a v e o n e g i r l f r i e n d after a n o t h e r , b u t y o u d o n ' t
l o v e a n y o f t h e m . Y o u n e v e r l e t a w o m a n g e t c l o s e t o y o u a t all.'
' N o , n o , H e n , it's n o t l i k e t h a t ' says C h a r l e s .
B u t it's n o g o o d . H e n r i e t t a c o n t i n u e s , ' Y o u ' r e n i c e t o t h e m ,
sweet t o t h e m y o u w e r e sweet t o m e , thoug h you thought I
w a s stupid.'
' I didn't.'
'Yes y o u d i d . Y o u don't g i v e people a chance. W h e n e v e r y o
u have
n e w
girlfriend, y o u
think, " I
m u s t n ' t fall
i n love. I
Charlie!'
Henrietta
suddenly
throws
her
arms
around
were
going
to
ask
me
to
marry
you!
But
you
were
34
yes,
o f course!
Wonderful
better
than
my
f ather's
n i gh t train t o
Edinburgh. I
just w e n t w i t h h i m t o t h e station. B u t I a m l e a v i n g no w . Do y o u
want t o come with me?'
So
Charles
and
Carrie
drive
o f f together
through
the
l a t e - n i g h t s t r e e t s o f L o n d o n . T h e t a x i t a k e s t h e m t o C a r r i e ' s flat.
' A r e y o u c o m i n g u p f o r a d r i n k ? ' s h e a sk s C h a r l e s .
' Ar e y o u sure?' h e
asks. H e l o o k s
rather doubtfu l
about t h
e situation.
'Yes
think
we
but
can
take
can
still
chance!'
refuse
she
y o u , no
jokes.
problem!
is
not
feeling
very
c onfident
after
all
the
Carrie
i s
s till
going
to
marry
Hamish.
Charles h a s
left i t all t o o l a t e .
In the
early m o r n i n g , Ch ar le s
gets
up
first. H e p u t s o n h i
at
would
have
hadn't b e e n s o confused?
happened t o
the
couple
i f Charles
35
Chapter 3
A Free Saturday
I t i s n e a r l y n o o n o n Saturday, S e p t e m b e r t h e
1 s t . Charles i s i
n b e d , asleep
Scarlett
as
usual. T h e
door
opens, a n d
comes
n , c a r r y i n g cu p s a n d plates a n d t h e m o r n i n g letters.
' G o o d m o r n i n g , C h a r l e s . I've b r o u g h t u s s o m e breakfast. S o r r y
t h e toast's a b i t b u r n t . '
She
sits
down
on
the
edge
of the
bed.
Charles
wakes
the
other
da y,
as
shop
a ss is t an t . Y o u
have
to
sel l
T h e i n v i t a t i o n a l s o t el ls g u e s t s t h e a d d r e s s o f t h e s h o p w h e r e t h e
y c a n b u y presents f o r t h e b r i d e a n d g r o o m . T h i s i s a n o t h e r
c u s t o m f o r s o m e p e o p l e i n E n g l a n d . I t s e e m s t h a t C h a r l e s i s s till
going t o spend h i s t i m e today o n weddings.
36
But
Charles
isn't concentrating.
He is studying
Carrie do you
invitation
the card
in
the envelope.
It's the
her wedding.'
is
furniture
from
different parts
of the
world, a n d
the
p l a c e i s full o f a l l k i n d s o f u n u s u a l a n d b e a u t i f u l t h i n g s .
T h e shop
assis tan t i s a l s o v e r y e l e g a n t . S h e l o o k s d o w n h e
r n o s e a t C h a r l e s , w h o i s w e a r i n g a n o l d shirt w i t h h i s shorts a
n d r u n n i n g shoes. H e doesn't l o o k a t a l l smart.
' E x c u s e m e , ' h e a s k s h e r . ' D o y o u h a v e t h e w e d d i n g list f o
r Banks?
Hamish
a nd
Carrie
Banks?'
Carrie
Banks
i s
what
C a r r i e w i l l b e c a l l e d after h e r m a r r i a g e t o H a m i s h .
T h e assis tan t l o o k s a t C h a r l e s w i t h d i s l i k e . ' C e r t a i n l y , sir. I c a
n s h o w y o u p l e n t y o f presents f o r a b o u t o n e t h o u s a n d poun ds. '
' A h ! ' says C h a r l e s , w h o i s a m a z e d , b u t i s t r y i n g n o t t o s h o w i t
.
' W h a t a b o u t p r e s e n t s f o r fi ft y p o u n d s ? '
' Y o u c a n b u y t h i s o n e , ' s a y s t h e assis tant . S h e p o i n t s t o a
l i f e - siz e w o o d e n A f r i c a n m a n .
37
s t i l l b e i n g v e r y polite
a n d trying t o
look calm.
'Or we
sell
plastic
bags
for
one
po un d fifty pence
each,'
think
been
I'll
very
probably
...'
He
leave
was
it. Thanks
going
to
say
very
'helpful',
i t w o u l d n ' t b e true.
nothing,
nothing
yet!
I've j u s t
been
l o o k i n g , ' says
get
married
years
ago?
Has
anybody
bought
the
woode
n A f r i c a n y e t ? ' s h e a sk s t h e a ss is t a n t .
'The
young man
is
t h i n k i n g a b o u t it,' s a y s
the
assistant ,
icily polite.
Charle s nods thoughtfully, trying t o l o o k a s i f t h i s i s a s e r i o
u s idea.
'Oh
no,' s a y s
Carrie, w h o
e s o m e t h i n g small a
teapot
is
or
quick
to
understand. ' G e t m
something. A r e
you
free f o r
she
sa ys .
'Come
with
n i m p o r t a n t decision.'
38
me.
I've
got
to
make
S h e t a k e s C h a r l e s o f f t o t h e dres s s h o p w h e r e s h e p l a n s t o
c h o o s e h e r w e d d i n g d r e ss .
' T h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t t h i n g ' , s h e says,'is pleas e d o n ' t la u gh ! '
' O K . R i g h t , ' says C h a r l e s , s e r i o u s l y .
T h e a s s i s t a n t b r i n g s dres s af te r d r e s s . C a r r i e t a k e s e a c h o
n e a w a y a n d t r i e s i t o n . E a c h t i m e , w h e n she' s r e a d y , s h e c o m e s
o u t a n d s h o w s C h a r l e s . T h e first dres s i s v e r y c o m p l i c a t e d , w i t h
f u l l skirts .
' W h a t d o y o u t h i n k ? ' s h e as ks h i m .
'Lovely!' s a y s Charles.
' Is n' t it a b i t l i k e a c a k e ? ' s h e ask s h i m .
W e l l ' s a y s Charles.
' D o n ' t worry,' s a y s
Carrie. ' I
o n l y just b e g u n . '
She
comes o u t
next
i n a v e r y m o d e r n style o f d r e s s .
A c t u a l l y , i t i s n o t r e a l l y a dres s a t a l l i t ' s a s u i t w i t h t r o u s e r s , a
l o n g o p e n coat, a n d a v e r y small to p . S e x y !
' W h a t d o y o u t h i n k t h i s t i m e ? ' a sks C a r r i e .
'You're j o k i n g ! ' s a y s Charles.
' B u t it's w o n d e r f u l , isn' t i t ? M a y b e n e x t t i m e . . . '
T h e n e x t dres s i s l o n g , i n a ' c o u n t r y g i r l ' s t y l e , l i k e a n o l
d eighteenth-centur y picture. It is quite sweet, b u t n o t right f
o r Carrie.
' Wh a t d o yo u think?' s h e a s k s a g a i n .
' A h ' s a y s Charles.
' I k n e w it ! ' s h e says, s m i l i n g , a n d g o e s b e h i n d t h e c u r t a i n
t o ta ke it off .
T h e n s h e c o m e s o u t i n a v e r y s i m p l e , b u t v e r y s e x y d ress.
'It's a b i t sexy ,' s h e say s.
' I f I w a s y o u r h u s b a n d , I ' d b e s o p r o u d , ' says C h a r l e s , a n d h
e means i t . ' B u t m a y b e you'r e right . Y o u don 't w a n t t h e priest
t o g e t t o o excited!'
A f t e r C a r r i e h a s c h o s e n h e r d ress, t h e y g o t o a c a f e
together
39
is
no
strange,' s a y s
more
lovers,
C h a r l e s . 'Just
ever!
Do
one
you
man
and
think you'll
on
sta y
faithful?'
'Yes, o n c e I ' m ma r r i e d , ' C a r r i e replies. ' I t ol d H a m i s h that I
w o u l d kill h i m i f h e g o e s w i t h a n o t h e r w o m a n . S o I ' d b e t t e r d
o t h e same, I thi nk , a n d leave o t h e r m e n alone.'
' Q u i t e right,' s a y s Ch arl es .
' A n d I 'v e h a d p l e n t y o f l o v e r s i n m y life,' s h e c o n t i n u e s .
' H a v e y o u ? ' a s k s Ch ar l es , surprised. ' H o w m a n y i s " p l e n t y " ? '
' W e l l o h I d o n ' t k n o w , ' says C a r r i e , a l i t t l e b i t e m b a r r a s s e d .
' M o r e than one.'
'Tell m e ! ' s a y s C h a r l e s . ' T h e r e a r e n o secrets b e t w e e n u s n o
w . I've s e e n t h e w e d d i n g d r e s s , r e m e m b e r ? '
' W e l l ' say s C a r r i e , a n d s h e starts t o c o u n t o n h e r f i n g e r s . ' T
h e first o n e , o f c o u r s e , y o u n e v e r f o r g e t . I t w a s n i c e . N u m b e r t w
o -he
had too
m u c h hair on
h i s b a c k ! T h r e e f o u r - five -
got
to
number
six
by
your
seventeenth
birthday?'
' I g r e w u p i n t h e c o u n t r y it's d i f f e r e n t t h e r e , ' s h e s ay s . ' O K
s e v e n w a s g o o d . E i g h t - rather small! T h a t w a s a s h o c k !
Nin
e - w e w e r e s t a n d i n g u p a g a i n s t a g a t e . N e v e r t r y i t , C h a r l e s . It's
v e r y uncomfortable.'
' I w o n ' t , ' h e p r o m i s e s h e r seriously.
' T e n w a s w o n d e r f u l , really l i k e heaven. '
' I h a t e h i m , ' says C h a r l e s .
'Eleven n o go o d . N u m b e r s twelve to seventeen w e r e during
my university years. T h e y w e r e a l l nice, intelligent boy s but t h
e sex wasn't m u c h g o o d . E i g h t e e n broke
forget
h i m f o r y ear s afterw ards.'
' I ' m s o r r y , ' C h a r l e s sa ys .
m y heart. I
couldn't
40
'I
don't r e m e m b e r n u mb e r
s that
it
did
happen
should know. T w e n t y
Twenty-one
n ine te en . B u t my girlfriend s a y
twice.
are
horrible!
T w e n t y - t w o - well, h e w a s
She
we
don't
shared
really
want
my
at
t o
room, s o
twenty?
t a l k
about
she
God!
him.
first y e a r i n E n g l a n d . '
' I must apologize f o r England, a n d Englishmen,' s a y s Charles.
' T w e n t y - t h r e e a n d t w e n t y - f o u r w e r e to ge the r I w o n ' t forget
that!'
'Seriously?' a s k s Charles, b u t s h e w on' t answer h i m . He is
n o t s u r e h o w m u c h o f t h i s i s s e r i o u s a t all.
'Twenty-fiv e w a s a lovely F r e n c h ma n . T we n t y - s i x w a s a n awful
F r e n c h m a n . T w e n t y - s e v e n w a s a mistake.'
' S u d d e n l y , a t n u m b e r t w e n t y - s e v e n , y o u m a d e a m i s t a k e ? ' asks
C h a r l e s . ' C a n this really b e t r u e ? '
' H e k e p t o n sc reami ng, ' s a y s C a r r i e simply. ' I nearly gave u
psex
after that. B u t
Spencer changed m y m i n d fo r m e . H e w
a s number twenty-eight. T h e n
there
was
his
father, n u m b e r
t w e n t y - nine.'
'Spencer's father?' C ha r l e s repeats.
' T h e n thirty horrible! T h i r t y - o n e o h m y G o d ! T h i r t y - t w o
- ' s h e p a us e s . ' T h i r t y - t w o w a s lovely. A n d t h e n there's
H a m i s h , n u m b e r thirty-three.'
'So
oknow
w a s - after H a m i s h ? ' a s k s
C h a r l e s . H e really w a n t s
now.
it,
than Princess
then,'
Diana
says
Carrie.
'Less
hope. W h a t
than
about
Madonna,
you?
How
more
many
w o r k - y e s , th at ' s i t ! W o r k , w o r k a n d m o r e
m always w o r k i n g late!'
41
work. I'
has
happened,
There
is a
and
they
both feel
it.
W h e n t h e y r e a c h t h e c i n e m a , D a v i d i s s till w a i t i n g o u t s i d e . I f i
t h a d n ' t b e e n h i s b r o t h e r h e w o u l d h a v e p r o b a b l y h a v e le ft b y n o
w . Charles
is
very, v e r y late. D a v i d
signs
to
him, 'You're
not
i s
D a v i d , m y brother,' s a y s
Charles. 'This
i s
42
really
poor
excuse,'
David
replies.
'Who's
she
marrying?'
They
can
now
have
s ecret
conversation, because
Carrie
I ' m just
telling
David
that
you're
marrying
Hamish.
y o u
m a k e
l o v e
t o
h e r
once?'
a s k s
David.
F o r t u n a t e l y , C a r r i e s till c a n ' t u n d e r s t a n d .
' H e wants t o k n o w w h e r e y o u a r e getting married,' Charles
pr e t e n d s t o translate.
' I n Scotland,' C a r r i e answers.
'She's
got
l o v e l y b r e a s t s ! ' says
David, and
uses
his
hands
t o describe t h e m .
' " O h , lovely
hi ll s
up
there
in
Scotland," he
says!'
Charles
t r a n sl a t e s q u i c k l y .
' W h y don't y o u c o m e t o t h e we ddi ng? ' Carrie a s k s David.
'I'd l i k e s o m e n i c e friend s t o c o m e H a m i s h i s g o i n g t o i n v i t e s
o m e awful peo ple. Well , yo u ' d better g o i n and s e e the film.
G o o d b y e ! ' T h e b r o t h e r s w a t c h h e r a s s h e w a l k s away. C h a r l e s a n
d David
g o into the cinema, b u t suddenly Charles ch anges h i s m i nd .
' O h , h e l l ! ' h e says .
He
runs
out
o f the
cinema
and
c hases
Carrie
up
the
st e p s . D a v i d i s l e f t a l o n e a t t h e e n t r a n c e t o t h e c i n e m a . C h a r l e s
catche s u p w i t h C a r r i e b y t h e river.
'Carrie!
Sorry, sorry!
Oh
b o u g h t y o u r w e d d i n g dress. B u t
this
I
is
stupid
y o u' v e just
w o n d e r e d i f there
was
any
c h a n c e n o , o b v i o u s l y n o t ! I've o n l y slept w i t h n i n e w o m e n - s o
w h y a m I a s k i n g s ill y q u e s t i o n s ? B u t I j u s t w o n d e r e d I r e a l l y
43
fee l w e l l , l e t m e s a y i t m o r e clearly, l i k e t h e m a n i n t h e s o n g .
Orwas it the
man on
television? " I
i sn ' t . E x c e l l e n t . E x c e l l e n t . L o v e l y t o s e e y o u . M u s t g o n o w '
H e turns t o leave, t h e n adds, ' D a m n ! '
' T h a t w a s v e r y s w e e t , ' says C a r r i e . S h e i s s m i l i n g a t h i m a n d
l o o k s v e r y affectionate.
'Well, I thought about i t a l o t , y o u know. I wante d t o g e t i t
j u s t r i g h t . It's i m p o r t a n t t h a t I ' v e s a i d it.'
' W h a t h a v e y o u said, e x a c t l y ? ' a s k s C a r r i e .
' I said tha t I t h i n k o h , y o u k n o w w h a t I said!' C h a r l e s i s
f i n d i n g this v e r y difficult.
' Y o u ' r e lovely,' s a y s C a r r i e , a n d kisses h i m . F o r a m i n u t e , t h e
y stand c l o s e t o g e t h e r , t h e n C a r r i e w a l k s away. S h e l o o k s b a c k
a t h i m o n e last t i m e .
44
September 28th, in
the church at
Perthshire,
and Carrie
Glenthrist Castle,
Scotland
I t i s already a c o l d , w e t a u t u m n i n S c o t l a n d b y t h e t i m e o f
H a m i s h a n d Carr ie ' s w e d d i n g . T h e m o u n t a i n s a n d lakes l o o k v e r y
b e a u t i f u l b u t als o v e r y g l o o m y a n d gr ey . C h a r l e s a r r i v e s l a t e a s
usual - a n d
tries t o c h a n g e q u i c k l y o u t o f t h e w a r m , h e a v y c l o t h e s t h a t h e p
uton
for
t h e journey. H e
t ak e s
off his
pullover a n d
puts
o n h i s w e d d i n g c o a t b e f o r e h e steps o u t o f t h e car . T h e w e d d i n g i
s i n t h e little c h u r c h t h a t b e l o n g s t o H a m i s h ' s castle .
T h e d o o r o f t h e church makes a l o u d noise a s Charles opens
i t . ' S o r r y , s orry, ' h e
whispers. E v e r y b o d y turns r o u n d t o
s e e
w h o ' s there.
T h e l it t l e c h u r c h l o o k s c h a r m i n g . T h e s e r v i c e h a s b e g u n , a n d
C a r r i e i s s tanding w i t h H a m i s h a n d t h e priest a t t h e front. S
he
looks
lovely, t o o
serious, b u t
beautiful. T h e
priest
a s k s
T h e r e c e p t i o n i s i n t h e f i n e castle that H a m i s h o w n s . A s t h
e guests w a l k th er e f r o m
Scottish music
welcomed by
being
the
church they c a n
played. W h e n
they
arrive,
hear special
they
a r e
45
servants w h o a r e w e a r i n g f o r m a l Sc o tti s h u n i f o r m s . A m o n g t h e
guests, m a n y o f t h e m e n a r e w e a r i n g Scottish-styl e clothes t o o
a n d s o m e o f t h e ladies a r e also dressed i n t h e S c o t t i s h style. T h
e bride, the g r o o m a n d t h e family a r e
standing in
a line. T h e
at
t h e e n d
o f t h e
line,
next
t o
Hamish.
Charles
congratulates C a r r i e .
' Y o u l o o k b e a u t i f u l , ' h e says a s h e s h a k e s h e r h a n d .
There
is
some
lively
Scottish
dancing i n
the
middle
of th
eroom.
' O h , g r e a t ! ' says G a r e t h . 'It's l i k e o n e o f t h o s e f i l m s !
I t ' s so
says
little
later, w h e n h i s u sua l
group
between
us !
But
now,
I'm
getting
older,
an d
it 's
s u d d e n l y b e g u n t o m a k e m e sad. I ' d l i k e t o g o t o t h e w e d d i n g o
f s o m e o n e w h o I really love.'
' We l l , d o n ' t b l a m e m e ! ' s a y s T o m . 'I've asked e v e r y b o d y that I
k n o w to marry me!'
' Y o u h a v e n ' t a s k e d m e , ' s a y s S c a r l e t t , a l i t t l e sadly.
' H a v e n ' t I ? ' a s k s T o m i n surprise.
' N o , ' s h e shakes h e r head .
' We l l , Scarlett w o u l d y o u l i k e t o m a r r y m e ? '
' N o thank y o u , T o m . I t w a s v er y nice o f y o u t o a s k me.'
' W e l l , a n y t i m e y o u like,' s a y s T o m k ind l y .
' G o o d m a n , T o m ! ' s h o u t s G a r e t h . ' N o w , w h y d o n ' t t h e rest o f
y o u
d o
the
same?
G o
a n d
find
husbands
a n d
wives
f o r
about
Love!'"
you,
Fi?' T o m
asks
a husband here?'
' O h , g e t lost, T o m ! ' replies F i o n a .
his
sister. ' C a n
you
see
46
lot
of people
actually m e e t
talk t o
a pretty
wives a t w e d d i n g s . D i d y o u k n o w that?'
'Yes, I m e t m y h u s ban d a t a w edd in g , ' s h e answers hi m .
' O h . O h w e l l , ' s a y s T o m , a n d d r i n k s t h e rest o f his w i n e
v e r y q u i c k l y . ' L o o k a t t h a t ! M y glass i s e m p t y . E x c u s e m e '
Scarlett seem s to be h a v i n g better l uck . T h e
person s h e i
s talking t o i s probably t h e b es t -l o ok i n g m a n a t t h e w ed d in g . A
n d he's n o t w e a r i n g S c o t t i s h c l o t h e s h e ' s A m e r i c a n .
' H e l l o , m y n a m e ' s S c a r l e t t . L i k e S c a r l e t t O ' H a r a i n Gone with the
Wind,*
* A f a m o u s fil m a n d no ve l . Scarlett a n d R h e t t a r e t h e na me s o f t h e t w o m
o s t important peo pl e i n i t .
47
'Well,
I'm
quite
happy
actually,'
she
got
ne
Henrietta. ' I
don't
want
to
marry your
...
and
now
she's
marrying
C h a r l e s . ' B u t w h a t a b o u t y o u , Fifi ?
another
Have you
man,'
answers
m e t y o u r future
h u s b a n d here?'
' N o a n d I w o n ' t i t ' s n o t l i k e that. I've b e e n i n l o v e w i t h t
h e s a m e m a n f o r years.'
' H a v e y o u ? ' C h a r l e s a s k s i n surprise. ' W h o ' s that?'
' Y o u , C h a r l i e , ' s a y s F i o n a , v e r y lightly. C h a r l e s stops smil in g .
He
looks
shocked. Fiona
r o o m . Charles follows h e r .
walks
away
and
goes
into
quieter
48
first m e t , ' s a y s
Fiona. 'I
k n e w t h a t f r o m t h e first m o m e n t I s a w y o u . " A c r o s s a c r o w d e d r o
om" you
can't
know
d o anything
what
they
about
say!
But
i t . That's
it
doesn't
l if e . A n d
matter. W e
we're
friends
know
love, b u t
now
he
knows
how
it
feels.
He
is
d e e p l y so rr y f o r her, a n d takes h e r h a n d .
' O h , F i ! It's n o t easy, i s i t ? '
' N o . B u t forget i t i t can't h a p p e n b e t w e e n u s , Charlie.'
J us t t h e n , M a t t h e w c o m e s i n . F i o n a p r e t e n d s t h a t n o t h i n g h a
s happened.
' M a t t h e w dear!' s h e s a y s brightly. ' W h e r e ' s Ga r e th ? '
' H e ' s be i n g rude to Americans,' M a t t h e w answers.
' H o w thoughtful o f him!'
Gareth
surprised
is
as
dancing
he
with
turns
an
her
American
round
fast
woman.
and
jumps
quite
Gareth
is
dancing
with
49
an American
She
woman.
looks
about
and
gentlemen, f i l l
your
glasses, please,' s a y s
the
now.
' T h a n k you,' s a y s
thank y o u t o
Carrie, a s
everybody
claps
her. 'And
States. C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s
even though
you
werecoming
too!'
to
knew
the
that
rest
all
of you! You
these
came
terrible
here,
Americans
not
alive
today.
If he
was
here, I
know
what
he
w o u l d say: " L o v e l y d r e s s , g i r l ! B u t w h y t h e h e l l a r e y o u m a r r y i n g
a m a n i n a skirt?'"
T h e y l a u g h a g a i n , t h o u g h H a m i s h i s n o t v e r y p l e a s e d w i t h th i s
j o k e abou t Scottish clothes.
' M y a n s w e r is,' C a r r i e c o n t i n u e s , ' " B e c a u s e I
l o ve him." A s
He
has
had
years
o f practice
in
public
sp e a k i n g . S u d d e n l y t he r e i s a l o u d n o i s e , a k i n d o f crash, at t h e
back.
50
'Oh
dear s o m e o n e
p r o b l e m ! I ' m u s e d t o that!'
But
the
crash
was
Gareth,
falling
unconscious
to
the
C h a r l e s , u r g e n t l y . W h i l e H a m i s h i s still
holding
dead. T h e n
he
among thecrowd
Gareth's
decides
head.
that
But
he
it's
must
too
find
late.
Gareth
Matthew
is
quickly
o f guests.
C h a r l e s sees M a t t h e w a n d w a l k s t o w a r d s h i m . Just b e f o r e h e
reaches
him, he
s t o p s it's
he
moves
f o r w a r d , t a k e s M a t t h e w ' s a r m a n d w h i s p e r s t o h i m . A s h e tells
h i m a b o u t G a r e t h they can hear the guests b e h i n d t h e m b e g i n t o
sing.
51
Chapter 5
It is
the
A Funeral
d a y of Gareth's funeral. It
wh er e Gareth's
parents
live, a
small
takes plac e i n t h e
and
dirty
town,
town
full
of
looks
very
sad.
It
is
big
contrast
to
d r i v e n t o t h e c h u r c h i n a l a r g e b l a c k ca r . I n f r o n t o f t h e m i s t h
e c a r w i t h Gareth's coffin.
Charles
arrives
at
the
church
and
sits
down
next
to
at
the
t h e atmosphere
back. T h e
at
the
atmosphere
is
very
different
weddings. Everybody i s
wearing
steps
forward
and
stands
near
the
coffin.
It
ha
s beautiful flowers on i t .
'Gareth
preferred
funerals
to
weddings. " O n e
day
shall
think
about
him? W h a t
comes
into
their
minds
when
said
Gareth, a n d h o w
remember
what
that y o u
kind
loved
he
him. Y o u
was
to
r e m e m b e r visiting
his
guests.
You
s e c r e t s o f s o m e o f his
52
dishes, like d u c k w i t h
and
stands
near
the
coffin.
b a n a n a , a r e l o s t f o r ever! G a r e t h really
l o v e d l if e. I h o p e y o u w i l l r e m e m b e r h i m s p e c i a l l y f o r t h a t .
'How do
sorry. S o
I've
remember h i m ?
taken
the
words
can't f i n d t h e w o r d s I ' m
o f t h a t wonderful writer, W . H .
A u d e n . T h i s i s w h a t I r e a l l y w a n t t o say.'
H e reads f r o m a b o o k .
He was
My
My
my North,
working
noon, my
my
week
midnight, my
Sunday
rest,
talk, my song
53
car with
'Bu
doesn't
matter,' s a y s
Carrie. 'We'll
do
it
another
o f love. W e l l , I
f e l t s o m e t h i n g f o r Jilly w h e n
was
young -'
'Jilly?' a s k s C h a r l e s , s u r p r i s e d .
' O u r family dog,' T o m explains.
'Yes
...' s a y s
friends f o r
years,
we
never
noticed
that
a l l been
Matthew
and
G a r e t h w e r e reall y m a r r i e d , i n t h e i r o w n way.'
T h e y h a v e r e a c h e d t h e river, b u t i t i s n o t a n attractive plac e
there a r e factories a l l along t h e banks. E v e r y t h i n g lo ok s col d a
n d g l o o m y . Ch a r l e s i s h o l d i n g a n umbrel la a s i t i s s t i l l raining.
'It's h a r d e s t f o r h i s p a r e n t s , ' s a y s T o m . ' I h o p e I d i e b e f o r e
m y children.'
' Y o u ' r e v e r y c o n f i d e n t t h a t y o u ' l l g e t m a r r i e d , ' says C h a r l e s .
'But
should
we
get
married
at
a ll ,
if we
should just
if we
can't b e
forget
the
like
idea.
can't
find
t h a t t h e r e can
Gareth
Some
and
of us
the
be
Matthew,
won't
get
m a r r i e d a t all.'
' I d o n ' t k n o w , C h a r l i e , ' says T o m , t h o u g h t f u l l y . ' I d o n ' t h o p e f o
r t h e
perfect
marriage.
I ' m
n o t
looking
f o r
thunder
a n d
lightning. I
j u s t w a n t a n ice , f rie nd l y g i r l w h o likes m e t o o . T h e n w e ' l l g e
t m a r r i e d a n d b e happy. I t w o r k e d f o r m y parents we ll , i t d i d f
or
54
55
are
invited
at
to
the wedding
St Julian's
Church,
of Charles
Smithfield,
and on July
London
15th
EC1
the
hell's
happening?' h e
asks.
He
looks
around
th
t h e k i t c h e n , s till i n h i s u n d e r w e a r . M a t t h e w i s
he's
going
to
be
Charles's
best
man.
Unlike
C h a r l e s , sleepily. ' L i s t e n - t h a n k s f o
I w i s h G a r e t h w a s here.' H e
knows what a
hard t i m e M a t t h e w h a s h a d recently.
' H e ' d like t o b e h e r e too,' s a y s M a t t h e w . ' S o r r y we ' r e s o l a t
e . T h e o t h e r s a r e j u s t p a r k i n g t h e ca r. W e t h o u g h t t h a t w e c o u l d
a l l g o i n T o m ' s c a r b e c a u s e it's s o b i g . '
'L ate ? I s i t s o late?' a s k s C h a r l e s .
' Y e s - it's 9 . 4 5 . '
' N i n e forty-five?' Ch ar le s can't believ e i t .
' O n l y f o r t y - f i v e m i n u t e s u n t i l y o u say, " I d o . ' "
' O h G o d ! I w a n t e d t h e a l a r m t o r i n g a t e i g h t o ' c l o c k ! I told
T o m ! O h , hell!'
N o w S c a r l e t t c o m e s i n , s till i n h e r n i g h t d r e s s . H e r h a i r l o o k s
56
terrible t o o a n d s h e is y a w n i n g .
'Scarlett?' M a t t h e w s a y s . ' A r e y o u ready?'
' O h
yes,
yes
'
she
answers
sleepily.
'Just
give
me
a s fast a s
they can to
the
church. Charles i s
still p u t t i n g o n h i s t i e w h e n h e g e t s o u t o f t h e c a r .
'What' s t h e time?' h e a s k s urgently.
' H o n e s t l y ? ' as k s M a t t h e w . ' Y o u r e a l l y w a n t t o k n o w ? '
' Y e s tell m e , p l e a s e ! '
' W e l l , ' says M a t t h e w , 'it's a b o u t t e n t o n i n e . '
Charles keeps o n r u n n i n g towards the church , t h e n suddenly
h e realizes w h a t M a t t h e w said.
'You
rats!'
he
shouts.
His
friends
a l l star t
laughing;
they
get s o m e
coffee a n d
d r i n k i t o u t s i d e o n t h e grass. F i o n a d e c i d e s t o m a k e a s p e e c h .
'I'll j u s t
s a y
Charles's girlfriends
worried
that
little
come
word,'
a n d
s h e
g o
begins.
for
years
'I've
now.
watched
I
was
g o i n g t o b e fine. Un f o r t un a t e l y , h i s b r i d e i s q ui t e craz y - b u t
p e r h a p s th at ' s w h y h e
l o v e s h e r ! S o let's d r i n k t o C h a r l e s a n d h i s b e a u t i f u l g i r l o n t h
i s sad day. B e h a p p y a n d d o n ' t f o r g e t u s ! '
' T h a n k y o u , ' says C h a r l e s .
' T o Charles a n d D uc k-Fa ce! '
T h e y r ais e t h e i r p l a s t i c c o f f e e c u p s a n d d r i n k .
' T h a n k y o u , Fiona, f o r those f e w ki n d wo r d s a b o u t m y future
wife!' C h a r l e s replies. 'She's sent a
message f o r y o u , too!' H e
out to
57
Charles pulls out a piece of paper and reads or pretends to read from it.
'"If any of you come near my house, I'll send the dogs out to get you!'"
Everyone
laughs,
and
they
set
off
for
the
church.
T o d a y , p e r h a p s f o r t h e first t i m e e v e r , C h a r l e s w o n ' t b e l a t e !
still
seeing
Toby
de
Lisle.
And
he's
actually
Henrietta's brother.
' H o p e m y sister arrives, ' h e s a y s t o C h a r l e s . ' Y o u ca n' t h a v e
a w e d d i n g w i t h o u t a bride, y o u k n o w . A n d w h y didn't y o u h a v e
a p a r t y last n i g h t ? '
' O h , b u t w e did, w e di d w e didn' t t h i n k i t w a s a g o o d idea!'
say s C h a r l e s h u r r i e d l y . J o h n , o f c o u r s e , w a s n o t i n v i t e d t o t h e
party!
' Y o u l o o k l o v e l y t o d a y , F i , ' C h a r l e s says t o F i o n a , a s t h e y
enter
58
Usually,
Fiona
d e c i d e d that I w o u l d n ' t w e a r b l a c k a n y
chooses
black
or
somebody
who'll
fall
i n
dark
colours
w e a r bright
love
w i t h
for
he
colours, a n
m e . That'll
b e
on
h e r , b u t a little
Chester h a s
Carrie
'I
come
her
bit
odd. Suddenly, s h e
ta ll ,
charming
screams!
American
from
a n d Hamish's w ed d in g . S h e i s delighted!
thought
that
you'd
gone
back
to
America!'
she
sa y s , e x c i t e d l y .
' W i t h o u t y o u ? ' h e asks. ' N e v e r ! ' A n d h e g i v e s h e r a b i g kiss.
A n o l d m a n a p p e a r s a t t h e d o o r . It's t h e c r a z y m a n w h o s
a t n e x t t o C h a r l e s a t t h e first w e d d i n g !
'Bride o r groom?' Ma t th e w a s k s him, s o t h a t h e c a n show h i
m
w h e r e t o sit.
T h e o l d m a n l o o k s a t h i m angrily. ' I ' m neither! ' h e s a y s . ' C a n
' t y o u see?'
T o m i s l o o k i n g after a y o u n g l a d y c a l l e d D e i r d r e .
'Bride o r groom?' he a s k s h e r .
'Bride,' s h e
says. S h e l o o k s l i k e a n i c e
g i r l v e r y gentle
cousins!' s h e
smiles
at
ago. We' re
cousins
59
is
even
more
nervous
now,
as
he
sees
all
the
guests c o m i n g i n .
' G o o d luck !' s a y s t h e priest, passing b y .
Lydia a n d B e r n a r d arrive together, a n d Charles goes over to
welcome
them.
have
any
idea
that
she
was
coming.
She's
looking
e l e g a n t b u t s h e s e e m s t o b e i n a q u i e t m o o d , a n d a l i t t l e s ad .
' H i ! ' h e says. ' Y o u l o o k lo v e l y . B u t t h e n y o u a l w a y s l o o k n i c e a
t weddings!'
S h e smiles a t h i m .
' H o w ' s H a m i s h ? ' h e a sk s .
' O h , h e ' s f i n e I t h i n k , ' s h e s ays .
' Y o u th ink? ' a s k s C h a r l e s , surprised. ' W h a t d o y o u m e a n ? '
' H e w a s n ' t t h e r i g h t m a n f o r m e a f t e r all,' s h e sa ys.
' Y o u ' v e left h i m ? '
' W e l e f t e a c h o t h e r , ' s h e t el ls h i m . S h e l o o k s q u i t e w e a k , a n
d C h a r l e s leads h e r t o a q ui e t p l ac e a t t h e s i d e o f t h e c h u r c h
w h e r e t h e y c a n talk.
' W h e n d i d this h a p p e n ? ' h e a s k s h e r .
' O h , a f e w m o n th s ago. M a r c h w a s
hell. B u t b y A p r i l , w e '
C h a r l e s , n o t really listening t
60
t h i n g s w e r e s o d i f f i c u l t t h e n . Y o u ' d b e t t e r g o n o w . I'll s e e y o u
later.'
' I ' l l s h o w y o u t o y o u r seat,' C h a r l e s sa ys . ' W e j u s t d i d n ' t g e t i
t right, d i d w e ? I f onl y w e ' d b e e n to gether a t t h e right tim e . . . '
' Y e s , w e g o t i t w r o n g , ' C a r r i e s a y s sadly .
' T e r r i b l e . A w f u l , ' says
Charles, and
he
means
i t . ' B u t it's
o lovely t o s e e you!'
' W e l l , g o o d l u c k , ' says C a r r i e f in al ly . 'It's v e r y easy, y o u k n o w ,
g e t t i n g m a r r i e d . Y o u j u s t say, " I d o " w h e n e v e r a n y o n e a sk s y o u a
question.'
' W e ' d b e t t e r g o t o t h e f r o n t , ' M a t t h e w tells C h a r l e s .
' C a n y o u g i v e m e a m o m e n t , M a t t h e w ? ' C h a r l e s as k s h i m .
' O f c o u r s e , ' says M a t t h e w , w h o t h i n k s t h a t C h a r l e s w a n t s t o g o
t o t h e toilet.
an
e m p t y side
r o o m a n d s ay s , ' D e a r G o d , p l e a s e
forgive m e f o r w h a t I a m go i n g t o s a y i n y o u r church - D a m n !
D a m n ! D a m n a n d hell!'
' C a n I h e l p y o u ? ' a s k s a s y m p a t h e t i c v o i c e . A prie st steps o u t
from be hi n d a curtain i n the same r o o m , w h e r e h e w a s w a s hi n g
h i s hands. It seems t h a t t h e r o o m w a s n o t empty.
' O h n o , t h a n k s ! ' says C h a r l e s , e m b a r r a s s e d . ' I w a s d o i n g s o m e
exercises - y o u k n o w , f o r m y v o i c e . T h i s i s a b i g c h u r c h ! '
'Excellent,
often
d o
t h e
same
myself -
u s e
rather
d i f f e r e n t w o r d s , o f c o u r s e . I'll l e a v e y o u a l o n e n o w . '
C h a r l e s still c a n n o t c o m e b a c k o u t i n t o t h e c h u r c h , a n d T o
m a n d M a t t h e w a r e getting worried.
' T h e b r i d e ' s a r r i v i n g n o w , ' says M a t t h e w . A l a r g e b l a c k c a r h a
s driven
up
father. S h e
to
is
the
church
dressed
finely
and
Henrietta
for the
gets
out
with
her
wedding, i n white, w i t h
f l o w e r s i n h e r hair.
' W e l l , th at ' s g r e a t , ' s a y s T o m . ' B e c a u s e w e ' v e l o s t t h e g r o o m . '
61
Charles
brightly
when
he
sees
his
best
t h e
flowers?'
clearly doesn' t
want
a s k s
a n y
Henrietta. ' W h a t
problems
o n
problem?' She
her
well-planned
w e d d i n g d a y . H e n r i e t t a g e t s a n n o y e d v e r y easil y.
'Well,'
s a y s T o m ,
thinking
hard, 'they
a r e
making
some
p e o p l e ill , s o w e h a v e t o m o v e t h e m . '
H e n ri e tt a a n d h e r father l o o k angry, b u t they wait a t t h e
door. People
in
the
They're wondering
church
what's
are
getting
restless
happening. T h e
bride
now
too.
must
have
arrived b y now. W h e r e i s t h e g r o o m ?
'I
with
t h i n k t h e y b e l i e v e d m e ! ' T o m te ll s S c a r l e t t . H e i s p l e a s e d
himself.
'People
think
I'm
stupid,
you
see.
So
they
n o w joined Matthew a n d
r o o m . C h a r l e s still w o n ' t g o
unhappy a n d
so
confused.
David
back i n t o
hits
the
Charles i n
the
table
the
side
church. H e i s t o o
to
make
noise,
H a m i s h h a v e separated.'
and
62
H e tries n o t t o l o o k a t C a r r i e a s h e w a l k s t o t h e fro n t o f t h
e c h u r c h a n d sits d o w n . T h e w e d d i n g m u s i c s t ar t s , a n d C h a r l e s
and Matthe w
stand
up
together. T h e
doors
at
down
the
back
the
ai sl e
open,
with
her
father.
S h e pulls a t h e r father's a r m . S h e i s a n n o y e d w i t h h i m .
' D o n ' t h o l d m e s o tightly, D a d , ' s h e w h i s p e r s angrily.
The
priest be gi n s
t o read
aloud t h e words
of the wedding
s e r v i c e . A s C h a r l e s listens t o t h e priest's w o r d s h e l o o k s c o n f u s e d
a n d w o r r i e d . T h e p r i e s t as k s w h e t h e r a n y o n e t h i n k s t h a t C h a r l e s
a n d Henrietta should n o t g e t married. T h e question i s i n t h e
w e d d i n g service because t h a t i s the l a w . I f either t h e bride o r t
hegroom is
already m a r r i e d , f o r e x a m p l e , t h e n s o m e o n e
may say
that
they
answers t h e
David
are
breaking t h e
question.
But
l a w . Usually, o f course , n o
this
time
there
i s k n o c k i n g o n h i s w o o d e n c h u r c h seat.
is
loud
one
noise.
63
he
egroom
would
like
to
delay
the
wedding.
suspect
that
th
...'
Charles.
' An d do y o u ? D o you, Charles?'
Charles
i s
silent f o r a
looks shocked. T h e y
are
moment. Everybody i n
all
staring
at
Charles.
the
Henrietta
64
church
is
t h e e y e . H e falls o v e r , a n d s h e h i t s a n d
k i c k s h i m a g a i n . S h e h a s really l o s t h e r t e m p e r this t i m e ! S h e i
s ve r y , v e r y a n g r y , a n d m a y b e a little c r a z y t o o . S o m e p e o p l e r u s h
to the
front o f t h e
church t o
help
Charles. O t h e r people t r y t o
p Henrietta attacking h i m . T h e
situation gets v e r y
sto
confused. T h
e w e d d i n g i s certainly n o t g o i n g t o h a p p e n today!
B a c k i n C h a r l e s ' s k i t c h e n l a t e r t h a t a f t e r n o o n , e v e r y o n e i s still
s h o c k e d . O u t s i d e i t i s p o u r i n g w i t h rain a n d t h e t h u n d e r crashes
i n t h e sky.
'My
G o d ! ' says
Scarlett. F o r
once, s he
doesn't
really
know
w h a t t o say.
' W e l l , ' says T o m , t r y i n g t o b e h e l p f u l . ' A t l e a s t w e w o n ' t f o r g e t
th i s w e d d i n g !
m e a n , a l o t o f w e d d i n g s a r e t h e sa me, aren't
they? Afterwards, y o u
c a n' t r e m e m b e r t h e m a t a l l . B u t this
on
e w a s really different!'
'Yes - i t didn't have a w e d d i n g service,' s a y s M a t t h e w , i n a d r
y voice.
Charles doesn't s a y anything. H e h a s a blac k eye.
' P o o r g i r l , ' says F i o n a . ' N o , I r e a l l y m e a n i t p o o r g i r l ! O K ,
sh e' s n o t m y f a v o u r i t e p e r s o n
in
t h e world. B u t you've
done
a t e r r i b l e t h i n g , C h a r l e s I t h i n k it's q u i t e u n f o r g i v a b l e . '
C h a r l e s i s s h o c k e d t o o . H e c an ' t q u i t e b e l i e v e th at h e d i d this.
' P o o r H e n , ' h e s a y s , ' I d o n ' t e v e n w a n t t o t h i n k a b o u t i t , it's s
o awful.'
'But i f y o u weren't s u r e t h a t y o u wanted t o marry h e r o n
y o u r w e d d i n g day, t h e n i t w a s p r o b a b l y t h e r i g h t d e c i s i o n , w a s n ' t
it?' T o m asks.
Usually, Fi o n a i s
rude
about
e v e r y t h i n g th a t T o m says. B u t
65
'It' s
lovely
dress,'
says
sure
it'll
be
useful
for parties!'
' I b l a m e m y s e l f signs D a v i d .
' W h a t d i d h e s a y ? ' a sk s M a t t h e w .
' H e s a y s tha t h e b l a m e s himself,' C h a r l e s translates.
'No!'
shouts
e veryone
together. ' N o , y o u
mustn't
do
that,
David!'
' Y e s , t h e y b l a m e y o u t o o ! ' C h a r l e s u n k i n d l y tells h i s b r o t h e r .
T h e d o o r b e l l rings, and e v e r y o n e gets u p .
' N o , ' s a y s C h a r l e s . ' I ' l l a n s w e r i t . I f t h e r e ' s a p r o b l e m , it's m
y problem.'
B u t it's C a r r i e a t t h e d o o r . It's p o u r i n g w i t h r a i n , a n d s he ' s
very wet.
' H e l l o , ' s h e s a ys .
'Hi! G o d , you're wet!' s a y s Charles. ' C o m e i n ! '
' N o , n o , I ' m fine,' s h e replies. ' I ' m s o w e t t h a t I can't g e t a
n y wetter. D o y o u k n o w w h a t I m e a n ? ' S h e smiles a t h i m , b u t
she ' s a l s o v e r y s e r i o u s .
' O K t h e n I'l l c o m e o u t , ' C h a r l e s s ays .
' N o , please don't!' s a y s C a r r i e . ' I just w a n t e d t o s e e i f y o u w e r e
a l l right. I w a n t e d t o m a k e s u r e that y o u we r e n ' t killing
yoursel f o r anything.'
But
Charles
stand t o g e t h e r
he
steps
on
out
the
a n d joins
pavement,
her
and
in
after
the
a
rain. T h e y
few
seconds,
i s completely w e t too.
'It was wrong of me to
come to
the
c h u r c h this m o r n i n g
in
the
church, I
realized for
the
first
time
that
totally, c o m p l e t e l y l o v e o n e p e r s o n , w i t h a l l m y h e a r t . A n d t h
66
might b e
washed
away
by
the
rain, b u t
I'm not
g o i n g a w a y again.'
' O K , O K , w e ' l l g o b a c k i n , ' s a y s C h a r l e s . ' B u t first, c a n I a
skyou
one
could agree
thing?
not t o
c o u r s e . A n d after
Do
you
marry
we've
think
do
you
spent
lots
o f time
think
that you
dry
again, o f
got
together.
Do
you
t h i n k t h a t y o u c o u l d a g r e e not t o b e m a r r i e d t o m e , f o r t h e re st
o f y o u r life?'
C a r r i e looks a t h i m , h e r e y e s v e r y serious n o w .
' D o y o u ? ' h e a s k s her.
' I do,' s h e answers , i n t h e w o r d s o f t h e w e d d i n g service.
T h e y ki s s a n d a b o v e , i n t h e s t o r m y s k i e s o f L o n d o n , t h e r e i
s thunder a n d lightning f o r Charles too.
67
here's
picture
of Charles's
brother
D a v i d , marrying
picture
of Tom
and
Deirdre
too,
taken
at
their
one
o f Matthew, looking
happy
again. He's
found
Fiona? W h o ' s
s h e with? Well,
it
seems
to
be
Prince
C h a r l e s ! T h e y ' r e n o t e x a c t l y m a r r i e d y e t , b u t sh e' s o u t w i t h h i
min
public.
He
looks
serious,
as
usual,
but
sh e' s
wearing
a n e n o r m o u s p i n k h a t a n d h a s g o t a b i g smile o n h e r face.
C h a r l e s a n d C a r r i e a r e s till n o t m a r r i e d . A t l e a s t , t h e r e a r e
n o w e d d i n g p h o t o s , s o t h e y can't h a v e g o t m ar ri ed . T h e y must
h a v e k e p t t h e i r p r o m i s e . B u t t h e y d o h a v e a b a b y a l o v e l y little
boy.In
Carrie
our
photo,
Charles
i s smiling. We
together, a n d
w e d d i n g bells!
c a n
is
pointing
s e e
t hat
at
the
they're
camera
very
and
happy