Latino

USA
1522: Abuelos
>>UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN: From NPR and The Futuro Media Group, it's Latino USA. Today we're talking
about abuelitos.
>>MARIA HINOJOSA, HOST: I'm Maria Hinojosa. That special relationship we have with our
grandparents.
>>EDITH SAMANJEGO: And with my grandchildren -- oh, you have to see them. They come out,
Grandma, I love you. And I say, I love you more than you love me.
>>UNIDENTIFIED MAN: The grandfather is important because they know better. We can be a good
teacher for our grandkids.
>>HINOJOSA: And some of the amazing science behind grandparenting.
>>KRISTEN HAWKES: Really the crucial piece that lead to other changes that make us human started
with grandmothers.
>>HINOJOSA: Plus, our listeners share stories of their abuelos and abuelitas, all coming up on Latino
USA. I'm Maria Hinojosa.
>>UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN: Stay with us, no se vayan.
>>MARIA HINOJOSA, HOST:
Welcome to Latino USA. I'm Maria Hinojosa.
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "SWITCHED AT BIRTH")
>>IVONNE COLL: (As Adriana Vasquez) Kathryn, all you can do is hope you've instilled them with little
sense. I wouldn't relive Regina's teenage years for anything.
>>HINOJOSA: Ivonne Coll is a lot like your average abuelita. She cares a lot about her four
granddaughters. She's lived with them, raised them, tried to teach them right from wrong.
>>COLL: But, you know, it so funny because in real life, I am not an abuela. I just play one on TV.
(Laughter).
>>HINOJOSA: Ivonne's grandchildren are all fictional. You've seen her because she's the go-to grandma
for hit TV shows. On Fox's "Glee," she was Santana's abuela. Now, you can find her on "Switched At
Birth" on ABC Family, and on "Jane The Virgin" on The CW.
>>COLL: I try to portray, as authentically as I can, what I observe, especially here in North America, the
dynamic of the immigrant grandmother with the American grandkids that are born here.

>>HINOJOSA: So how does she go about playing the Latina grandma on TV?
>>COLL: Well, I think nurturing and being loving is one of the biggest qualities that I see in all the
grandmothers that I have around me, and to try to become them. I try to do that as best as I can. All the
grandmothers that I played are very different from each other.
>>HINOJOSA: On "Glee," Ivonne played Alma Lopez, a Mexican and very homophobic grandma.
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "GLEE")
>>RIVERA: (As Santana Lopez) Abuelita, I love girls the way that I'm supposed to feel about boys.
>>COLL: (As Alma Lopez) I want you to leave this house. I don't ever want to see you again.
>>COLL: I took after my grandmother, Salvaldora. And she was very racist. One of my aunts had a black
boyfriend who she ended up marrying, and she wouldn't let him into the house. It was incredible for me
to see that. And that's kind of what I used for "Glee."
>>HINOJOSA: On "Jane The Virgin," Ivonne plays Alba Villanueva, conservative chipata al antigua
Venezuelan grandma who's also the head of the household. The very first episode starts with Alba
handing her granddaughter, Jane, a beautiful flower. Then she tells Jane to crumple it to show her what
will happen if she loses her virginity.
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "JANE THE VIRGIN")
>>COLL: (As Alba Villanueva) (Spanish spoken).
>>HINOJOSA: And on "Switched At Birth," she plays Adriana Vasquez, who's totally cool and totally hip --
so the total opposite of Alba on "Jane The Virgin."
>>COLL: Yeah, that Abuela, I play her more like me. And Adriana Vasquez was a Puerto Rican
grandmother, so she's more Americanized. You see? That's why she does the yoga. That's why she's a
little bit more open. But Alba Villanueva is from Venezuela, and she came here as an adult. So she's
more Latin American in her point of view towards life, more traditional Latin American.
>>HINOJOSA: So no matter if your Mexican, Puerto Rican or Venezuelan, if you're a fictional Latino
character, chances are your grandmother is played by Ivonne Coll. And even though some might wonder
if Hollywood really can't find another Latina actress over 60, Ivonne Coll's experience playing a range of
grandmas does reflect a reality about Latino grandparents. Many of them are immigrants.
>>COLL: I'm fascinated by the Latina grandmothers who I see in all the stores that I go to talking in
Spanish to their grandkids, and the grandkids answering in English but understanding what their
grandmothers are saying. And I've even asked them -- I've stopped people and say, how do you feel?
And they keep telling me, I just want them to preserve their authenticity, their -- where they come from.
I just want them to know that Spanish was part of their heritage, of their language.

>>HINOJOSA: And so they are a link to the past, a reminder of the culture where we come from, often
the foundation of our families here in the U.S. Today, we're looking at the huge impact they have on our
lives.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>HINOJOSA: Our producer, Camilo Vargas, was visiting his family in Colombia over this past winter
break. And, in fact, it's that visit that sparked the idea for this show.
>>CAMILO VARGAS: I literally got off the plane and took a cab and went to my abuelita's apartment to
visit her for the first time in over a year.
>>HINOJOSA: And so I wonder, Camilo, what was it about your trip that made you decide doing an
entire show for Latino USA dedicated to abuelitos y abuelitas?
>>VARGAS: I've always been very close with my grandparents and I felt very lucky to have them. And I
feel like the best and the strongest parts of myself come from them. And so that got me wondering, you
know, we usually take grandparents a little bit for granted. Not just because we don't call them often,
but because, you know, we think, well, grandparents, you know, everyone has them. And it turns out
having grandparents and having close relationships with our grandparents is something that is very
unique to humans. And so I wanted to know more about grandparenting and why grandparents are so
important to us. So I decided to call up an anthropologist that's trying to figure out one big question.
>>KRISTEN HAWKES: What happened in the evolution of our lineage that makes us so different from our
closest living relatives?
>>VARGAS: That's Kristen Hawkes. What she's trying to find out is what made our ancestors think better,
read faster and live longer than other primates. What makes human beings so human? She's putting all
her money on one hypothesis.
>>HAWKES: It's really helpful grandmothering that turns that apelike ancestor into something that then
comes to be us.
>>VARGAS: Scientists call this the grandmother hypothesis.
>>HAWKES: It's a hypothesis that the crucial change that led to other changes that make us human
started with grandmothers.
>>VARGAS: Now, to be clear, it's just a hypothesis, and it's debated by scientists. But Hawkes and a team
of researchers came up with a hypothesis as they tried to solve one of biology's biggest mysteries.
>>HAWKES: There are a bunch of us - me included - adult females in all human populations that are past
their fertility, which is very weird.
>>VARGAS: Most living creatures are supposed to reproduce until they die. So what's the evolutionary
use of women - grannies - living so long after they stop having babies? To figure it out, they went to East

Africa to study the Hadza, a tribe of hunter-gatherers who live much like our ancestors did when all of
human life was hunting and gathering.
>>UNIDENTIFIED MAN: (Foreign language spoken).
>>UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN: (Foreign language spoken).
>>VARGAS: While the men in the tribe hunted the older women fed their grandchildren while moms
took care of their newborns.
>>HAWKES: There it was right in front of our eyes - the enormous productivity that came from these
older women and how important that turned out to be.
>>VARGAS: By not having more babies and caring for growing children these older women were giving
their daughters time and freedom to have more children of their own. And since these grandchildren
would carry the grandmother's genetic material for old age, our ancestors started living longer, each
time getting a little older and a little smarter. So according to this hypothesis, we owe most of what
makes us human...
>>HAWKES: To ancestral grandmothers, absolutely. So thank your grandmother (laughter). That's right.
>>HINOJOSA: So you're basically saying that grandmothers have played an essential role in the evolution
of humanity.
>>VARGAS: Yeah, and there's also evidence that as we started to live longer we started creating arts,
culture; basically, our ancestral abuelos made us modern.
>>HINOJOSA: OK, and so fast forward to nowadays. What is the image of the new Latina grandmother?
>>VARGAS: Well, I went out to a senior center in Corona, Queens here in New York where we are, and it
turns out that when I got there, I found a senior dance party.
>>HINOJOSA: Seriously (laughter), OK, I want to hear this.
>>MARIE FOLKA: We are not going to a senior center where you sit down and just start playing cards or
playing bingo. Oh, ha, ha. Uh-uh. We are from -- you're from Colombia. And I'm from the Caribbean. So
we, you know, we all love to dance.
>>EDITH SAMANJEGO: I love to dance.
>>FOLKA: And that's why we're here.
>>VARGAS: When I got there, there were grandparents of all ages -- Colombians, Puerto Ricans. And
Alicia Rodriguez, the social worker, gave me the lay of the land.
>>RODRIGUEZ: So that first table, it's the cool table. It's, like, dancing day, everybody's fighting to get on
the table.

>>VARGAS: Oh, really?

>>RODRIGUEZ: And they're not allowed to save seats...
>>HINOJOSA: No, don't tell me there are cliques when you're grandparents. Oh, my God.
>>VARGAS: Yeah. And the two grandmas you heard from earlier, they're two of the most popular girls. I
was lucky they even talked to me.
>>FOLKA: My name is Marie, Marie Folka. Murray spoke a.
>>SAMANJEGO: My name is Edith Samanjego, and I'm from Colombia.
>>VARGAS: And how long have you guys been friends?
>>FOLKA: About two years.
>>SAMANJEGO: Yeah.
>>VARGAS: And asked them, like, what does being a grandmother mean to them.
>>SAMANJEGO: With my grandchildren, oh, you have to see them. They come -- grandma, I love you.
And I say, I love you more than you love me. But one's 14 and one 11, they really -- I can feel their love
for me.
>>FOLKA: The love that you feel for the grandchildren is even more than you felt for your own children
because you have more time to spend with them.
>>HINOJOSA: My kids call their grandmother Buelis because they couldn't say abuelitas so they call her
Buelis. Did you ask them about their grandmother nicknames?
>>VARGAS: I sure did.
Abuelitas usually have some nicknames. How about you?
>>FOLKA: That sounds very old. (Laughter). Doesn't it?
>>SAMANJEGO: Abuelita?
>>FOLKA: No, but grandma or nana, you know, like, abuelita sounds like you're falling apart.
(LAUGHTER)
>>HINOJOSA: But those abuelitas, they are definitely not falling apart.
>>VARGAS: Nope, they're not, and dancing is also a big thing in Edith's house with her grandkids.

>>SAMANJEGO: The little one, he dance like crazy. He's, like, Grandma, I have to practice it because one
day I'm going to dance with you. And every time I used -- because they used to come to my house every
day.
>>VARGAS: And they even talked to me about how Spanish was used in the household.
>>FOLKA: Do they speak Spanish?
>>SAMANJEGO: No, they want to learn -- they're learning.
>>VARGAS: And we could've gone on forever, but it was time to go dance.
>>FOLKA: We got to go.
>>VARGAS: We go to go party.
>>SAMANJEGO: I love you. Thank you for everything.
>>FOLKA: It was so nice meeting you.
>>HINOJOSA: The thought of these senior centers filled with Latino elder folks and grandparents dancing
in the middle of the day -- I want to be there.
>>VARGAS: It was amazing. Whether it was Marie from Puerto Rico or Edith from Colombia, they made
me feel like Latinos share some common childhood.
>>HINOJOSA: It's like you're saying it's because of grandmothers and grandfathers here, Latino
grandmothers and grandfathers, that we're going to have a strong Latino cultural presence. It's going to
be due to them.
>>VARGAS: Yeah. Many of them come here as immigrants or are brought by their immigrant children,
but they are raising American children. And a lot of people think, you know, nowadays, grandparents
are, you know, are not that important as they used to be back in -- you know, in traditional societies. But
it turns out, since the 1970s, the number of children that are being raised by their grandparents has
doubled. And after the 2008 recession that really hit Latinos hard, we were falling back on that safety
net of our grandparents because they are the rock on which many families are built. And that is what we
owe to them.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>HINOJOSA: Coming up on Latino USA, when abuelos step in to take care of their grandchildren.
>>SEISE: But we always wanted to let your mother know that we are taking care of her for you.
>>HINOJOSA: Stay with us. No se vayan.
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(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>MARIA HINOJOSA, HOST:
Welcome back to Latino USA. I'm Maria Hinojosa. And speaking of what grandparents do for us, here's a
number. More than 2.5 million grandparents in the U.S. are raising their grandchildren. Abuelitos step in
when parents go through tough times; anything from health issues to financial troubles. Raising
grandkids can be a huge struggle, but also a huge source of joy. Producer Megan Kamerick has this
portrait of an abuela in Albuquerque.
>>KAMERICK: Irene Trujillo's grandson has an important decision to make.
>>IRENE TRUJILLO: OK, do you want ducks or you want bike?
>>ANDREW: Bike.
>>TRUJILLO: OK, so let's all go ride a bike. So we're here.
>>KAMERICK: We head over to a nearby storage facility. Andrew is 16. He has autism and a seizure
disorder so a closed-in area is safer than street riding.
>>TRUJILLO: Children's Hospital.
>>ANDREW: Hospital.
>>TRUJILLO: Hospital. He has a tricycle. We call it his motorcycle.
>>ANDREW: Yep.
>>TRUJILLO: Yep.
>>ANDREW: I want chocolate.
>>TRUJILLO: You want chocolate? Well, good luck with that. OK, you ready? OK, I'm coming. You steer.
>>KAMERICK: Irene is a petite ball of energy with streaks of gray in her dark hair. Andrew has a shy
smile. He's a good head taller than she is. They live in a small rental house off a busy street in the South
Valley; a historically Latino part of Albuquerque. Andrew came to his grandparents when he was three
days old. Andrew's mother said Irene's son was the father.
>>TRUJILLO: He said, well, it's my son. It's my responsibility. I want to take care of that. But I don't know
nothing about babies, so can you help me? And so I'm going, I got to talk to your dad about that, you
know, 'cause that's another 18 years.

>>KAMERICK: Irene and her husband decided to take Andrew, but a year and half later, DNA tests
revealed he was not their grandson. Irene didn't care.
>>TRUJILLO: He was part of my heart, part of my family. He calls his Uncle David
Uncle Dayday. I'm his Nana.
>>KAMERICK: She eventually won legal guardianship of him.
>>TRUJILLO: I had made a commitment to him before he was born. So just because the DNA said no
wasn't a good enough reason to just flake out on him. It wasn't like I could say nevermind. (Laughter).
>>KAMERICK: Andrew has seizures. He needs a special diet. It took years to get him an autism diagnosis
so he lost out on early intervention. Unlike foster parents, grandparents don't get paid by the state to
take care of their grandchildren. Irene lives on $1,700 a month from Social Security and SSI benefits for
Andrew. She was turned down for food stamps.
>>TRUJILLO: We applied, and they said no. I make too much. (Laughter).
>>KAMERICK: Still, she's fought tirelessly to get services for Andrew.
>>TRUJILLO: I had to bug people. I firmly believe that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. And I have always
been a squeaky wheel (laughter).
>>KIM MEYER: What's this?
>>ANDREW: Knee.
>>MEYER: What's this?
>>ANDREW: Nose.
>>KAMERICK: Today, Kim Meyer, a psychologist with the state Medicaid program comes to the house to
work with Andrew.
>>MEYER: He's actually got a fairly extensive vocabulary that he usually doesn't use. That's why I ask him
the questions, those kinds of things and then also working on compliance 'cause he has a tendency to
only do what he wants to do.
>>KAMERICK: Andrews reward for doing the exercises is to play YouTube videos on Meyer's phone. He
likes Elmo, Jack Benny and "The Lucy Show."
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "THE LUCY SHOW")
>>LUCILLE BALL: (As Lucy) There's a yellow-bellied wood pecker on our lawn.
>>UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: (As Character) I don't know, but I know there's a redheaded cuckoo in the
living room.

>>KAMERICK: Not only does Irene take care of Andrew, she leads a local support group for grandparents
raising grandchildren.
>>TRUJILLO: If your son or daughter is addicted, that's grief. If your son or daughter is dead, that's grief.
If your son or daughter have become part of the penal system, that's grief. And another thing you have
to grieve is what your life would've been had this not happened.
>>KAMERICK: These grandparents often feel isolated. They struggle financially, and they usually neglect
their own health.
>>TRUJILLO: You've got to make sure you take your pill -- oh, that reminds me. I haven't taken my pills
today. But you have to take your pills 'cause it's the oxygen mask thing, you know. If you're on the
airplane, you put your oxygen mask on first so you have to take care of yourself first in order to take
care of your grandchildren.
>>KAMERICK: It's not exactly what Irene pictured for her golden years, but she has no regrets.
>>TRUJILLO: I keep saying my 401(k) stands up and walks around (laughter). But, I mean, when my
husband died, I think the only thing that kept me going was this guy 'cause I had to take care of him.
OK, are you hungry? Do you want to eat something before we leave?
>>KAMERICK: Irene is 63. She knows Andrew will outlive her, but she believes he'll be able to live
independently with help.
>>TRUJILLO: Crying is great to get things off your shoulders, but if you want to keep on going, you have
to laugh. (Laughter).
>>KAMERICK: And that's why she usually chooses laughter over tears.
>>TRUJILLO: Goodness, no gluten.
>>KAMERICK: For Latino USA, I'm Megan Kamerick in Albuquerque, N.M.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>HINOJOSA: Not long after our producer Daisy Rosario was born, her mother was hospitalized. Daisy's
mom was out in her Brooklyn neighborhood when a man she didn't know began shooting. Her mother
spent a year in the hospital learning how to walk again.
So Daisy's grandparents had to step in. She spent the first years of her life living with them, and so Daisy
invited her grandfather Bert Seise -- better known to Daisy, and to our office, as Pappas -- to our studio
to have a conversation with him.
>>ROSARIO: If I remember, I mean, I don't really remember. I mostly remember from the videos you
made of -- you know, Mom came home, but she was still very weak and kind of caring for her.

>>BRETT SEISE: Very frailed.

>>ROSARIO: Yeah.
>>SEISE: But we always wanted to let your mother know that we are taking care of her for you.
>>ROSARIO: You and Grandma were very young grandparents.
>>SEISE: Yes.
>>ROSARIO: I mean, which is good 'cause it meant you also had a lot of energy to keep up with a kid.
>>SEISE: Oh, yeah. The things that we used to do, like, the videos, the pictures mopeding. Bicycle riding,
you weren't too much into.
>>ROSARIO: I could never get the hang of it.
>>SEISE: Yeah.
>>ROSARIO: It makes me dizzy (laughter).
>>SEISE: Yeah, but you got on the moped, and we still ride you around. And you used to enjoy that.
>>ROSARIO: Yeah. And I just have a lot of memories of you coming home from -- like, when we all lived
together in Starrett, of you coming home from work and, like, bringing me a book or bringing me fruit or
bringing me a little trinket or always something.
>>SEISE: OK, yeah, so you do remember those good things.
>>ROSARIO: (Laughter) I always -- think as I got older, I really started to appreciate that, like, when --
because of the kind of work you, you were always showing me how to fix things or how things worked. I
realize that not every grandfather would necessarily do that for a granddaughter.
>>SEISE: A woman wants to learn what I'm doing, I'm OK with that, you know, whether it's a boy or a
girl.
>>ROSARIO: We all lived together until I was about 5 and a half or 6. Mom and I stayed in the same
apartment, and I kind of was the one fixing things around the apartment as I got older.
>>SEISE: Wow, well, that's good.
>>ROSARIO: 'Cause she didn't know how to, like, you know, set the VCR and do all those little things.
>>SEISE: Yes.
>>ROSARIO: And I knew that from -- I mean, you always had a video camera attached to you so.
>>SEISE: Oh, yeah.

>>ROSARIO: Yeah.
>>SEISE: And you were always in front of it.
>>ROSARIO: Yeah. My dad wasn't around. He was involved in a few different issues. He was in and out of
jail. He was on drugs, and he would say he was coming to see me, and then he wouldn't come see me.
And I -- you know, that kid waiting.
>>SEISE: Yeah, and I did mention that to him. I said, you know, when you say that you're going to do
something, especially with her, you need to do it for the mere reason that she does not forget.
>>ROSARIO: You know, I'm not embarrassed about the type of person my father was 'cause I've been
able to deal with that already, but, like, Mom even told me that there are times where he got more
aggressive than that with you.
>>SEISE: It was actually being more hard on her and giving her the -- giving her this macho thing that she
couldn't go out or she couldn't do this or do that, whatever was. And I said no, that doesn't work that
way. Number one, you don't hit; you don't tell a person you can't do this or do that because that's not
the way it goes because I'm into women's liberation. That's probably why -- one of the reasons I was
always been that way. And this is why I was very forceful with them.
>>ROSARIO: When I was living in LA, I remember I would call you guys, and Grandma was always, like,
oh, gosh, where are you living. And I was, like, kind of living in my car and, like, staying on my friend's
couches, and she didn't say she worried about me. She was, like, well, that's, you know, be careful.
That's not the safest thing. And I pray for you and make sure God watches over you and everything. But
I'm not worried about you. And I was, like, surprised. She was, like, no, your mom, I worry about, but
you, I don't really worry about because I know that you know how to take care of yourself. She gets that
I'm doing this, but I'm not, like, failing. I'm just in a rough patch, and I'll be able to, like, figure it out.
After my dad died because my relationship with him had been so complicated 'cause he had been there
-- but a few years before he died, I chose to get to know him some. And after he passed away, Grandma
was like, I'm very proud of you for doing that. I'm really proud of you for contacting him even though it
must have been hard and scary. And to -- I think Pappas is, like, fishing for tissues. Yes, he is (laughter).
>>SEISE: Nothing.
>>ROSARIO: So prepared. As close as I was to Mom, I feel like I'm a lot more like you and Grandma in my
various ways.
>>SEISE: Most people say, oh, my gosh, she looks so much like your wife.
>>ROSARIO: Yeah.
>>SEISE: You know? I says yeah.

>>ROSARIO: But then on the other hand, there are things that Grandma doesn't do as much that are -- I
do that are much more like you. Like, Grandma always was like, oh, Bert will talk to anybody, and like, I
do that all the time.
>>SEISE: Which is great. I think it's a good asset.
>>ROSARIO: By mom is not like that. You know, Grandma's not like that. Like, you're the one in the
family who's like that, and I'm very much like that, too.
>>SEISE: Isn't that something?
>>ROSARIO: We grew up so close, and then when I was, like, in high school age I guess, like, you know,
Mom told me that, like, you weren't actually, like, my blood grandfather. And I was like, this is confusing
and weird, but I was also like, but he's Pappas. Like, he's just -- like, where -- he's still, like, totally, like --
how -- it almost crazy to me that there was any, like, need to define that because I was, like, but we do
have so much in common. Like, this is my grandfather, you know, like it doesn't matter.
>>SEISE: Right. People have to understand that it's not the actual blood, it's the nurturing that counts.
And if you're not doing things with your grandchildren, start doing it so that way you can feel the energy
and the love. This is something that they will never forget.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>HINOJOSA: Often, people think that abuelos and abuelas today will have a hard time adapting to a
world that's changing all around them. When Chanel International Lopez began her gender transition a
decade ago, her very traditional Dominican parents struggled to accept her. But her abuela, Melida
Sanchez, never wavered in her love.
>>CHANEL INTERNATIONAL LOPEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
>>MELIDA SANCHEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
>>HINOJOSA: Chanel says she's learned everything from her abuela from how to love and care for
others to how to cook.
>>LOPEZ: Even my friends look forward to her making a big pot. They're like, oh, I need some of your
grandmother's famous habichelas con dulces. My name is Chanel International Lopez. I am a Dominican
woman trans experience (laughter). I'm very proud of being Dominican.
>>SANCHEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
>>LOPEZ: I've always knew I wanted to be a woman since I was five. My grandmother was confused at
first, her being old school, you know, old fashion, but she was the one that was the first to accept who I
was. And, you know, and actually she's the one that gave me my name, Chanel, because that's her
favorite perfume. And when she came from the Dominican Republic as a immigrant years ago, she --
when she was able to afford her perfume, the first perfume she bought was Chanel.

Because I'm closer to her, and, like, she's the first person that I actually told that I was going to transition
before I told my mom, before I told my sisters.
At the age of, like, 14, my mother sent me to the Dominican Republic because, you know, I needed to be
a little bit more masculine. And I was there for, like, 2, 3 years. And I remember calling my grandmother
in the middle of the night crying, telling her I can't stand it here anymore. She came the next week, and
she got two plane tickets -- one for her, one for me. And she took -- brought me back to New York. That
was when I was 16. I'm 39 now. I haven't seen my father since then, and I haven't been back to the
Dominican Republic yet.
>>SANCHEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
>>LOPEZ: My father, to this day, does not speak to me. When he found out that I had transitioned into
being a woman, he was not happy at all.
She used to get along with my father, but she hasn't heard from my father since, like, I started the
transition because, you know, and she says she feels like he's probably upset at her because of it.
You know, my mother has dealt with it. It wasn't easy for her either. It's not that she don't love me, it's
that she doesn't understand.
>>SANCHEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
>>LOPEZ: You know, like, my grandmother, like, it's hard for her because she's an older lady, and she's
grew up knowing me with one name.
She, at first, didn't accept it, but, you know, she never made me feel uncomfortable, which is true.
>>SANCHEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
>>LOPEZ: It hurted her in the beginning because we're a small family so she wanted to have a big family,
and she was kind of depending on me to have a big family, you know, but it didn't happen that way so,
but, you know.
>>SANCHEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
>>LOPEZ: Like, some of her old friends still try to call me by old name, and I've been here when she's like
that's not her name anymore. You're going to respect her. She wants to be called Chanel, and that's
what you're going to call her.
>>SANCHEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
>>LOPEZ: She was saying that, like, you know, she was thinking, like, we all are, like, creatures of God,
and if I decided to come -- if I decided to become who I was, one, because that's who I am, and I want to
be happy, you know, and I'm happy because I wasn't happy as a boy. You know, she can't question God's
creation, and if -- God already knew what he was doing when he created me. And thisis who I am. I'm

her grandchild no matter what, and God created me this way, and she didn't have a problem accepting
me.
>>SANCHEZ: (Speaking Spanish).
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)
>>UNIDENTIFIED SINGER: (Singing in Spanish).
>>HINOJOSA: Our piece on Chanel y su abuela was produced by Anne Noyes Saini with help from Sarah
Barrett. Anne has also produced a related piece about Chanel and her adopted gay and transgender
children. You can hear their story on Mother, a podcast. And for more information, just to go to
latinousa.org.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)
>>UNIDENTIFIED SINGER: (Singing in Spanish).
>>HINOJOSA: Coming upon Latino USA...
>>ISABEL ALLENDE: My grandmother was always experimenting with the paranormal. So I grew up with
the mystery of life, with the possibility of magic.
>>HINOJOSA: How Isabel Allende's abuela put the magic in her magical realism. Stay with us. No se
vayan.
>>SPONSORSHIP: Support for NPR comes from NPR members, stations and from Lumber Liquidators, a
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better place. More information is available at newmansownfoundation.org.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>MARIA HINOJOSA, HOST: Welcome back to your Latino USA. I'm Maria Hinojosa. Isabel Allende is
often called the world's most widely-read Spanish-language author. She's written over 20 novels, many
of them bestsellers. Isabel was born in Chile where she was raised in her grandparents' house. Her
father abandoned her family when she was just a toddler so Isabel's mother had no choice but to move
back in with her parents with her three kids. Isabel says her grandparents were a major influence on her.
>>ISABEL ALLENDE: My grandmother was called Isabel like me, and my grandfather was called
Augustine. My grandmother was always experimenting with the paranormal at a time when that was
not allowed by the Catholic Church. I don't know if now it's allowed or not, but at the time sances with
spirits and all that -- that was not allowed. And so she would have these sances, experiment with
telepathy, trying to move objects without touching them or guess what was inside a box that was

closed. So I grew up with the mystery of life, with the possibility of magic, with the sense that nothing is
as we see it. And I think that that was a big influence for my writing. People say that I write magic
realism. To me, it's like life. I mean, I see life as very mysterious.
My grandfather was a tough Basque; a handsome man who his job all his life was raising sheep in the
south in Patagonia and then exporting the wool to London, to England. And he had very rigid,
conservative Catholic principles. And he was a man that was very generous, but he never showed his
generosity because it would feel to him like showing off -- so a sense of modesty, of discretion. He
would've wanted me to be a boy. And he would've taught me to play pelote basque. I think he was
disappointed that I was a girl, but he loved me. He gave me a work ethic, a sense of discipline, never
wine, never complain, never ask for anything. All those things, my grandfather's rules. He gave me all
the things that I have been able to use to survive in my strange life. And then my grandmother died. And
the house became a house of mourning because my grandfather dressed completely in black. There
were no flowers, no dessert, no parties, no music. He painted the furniture black. And he was in black
for eight years. So my childhood was magical and exuberant when she was there, and then it was a
house of mourning when she was gone. They were so different. He must have been fascinated by her
(laughter).
>>HINOJOSA: Isabel and her family had to flee Chile after the military coup in 1973 that removed
Salvador Allende, her cousin, from the presidency. She settled first in Venezuela, later in California
where she lives today. Whenever Isabel pictured her old age, though, she always imagined it like her
own childhood -- several generations of a family living altogether. But it didn't quite work out that way.
>>ALLENDE: When I had grandchildren of my own, I thought it would be like that. That I would have my
little tribe, and I had a large house. I would see my grandchildren every single day. I was present in their
lives constantly. Then they went to college, and they forgot they had ever had a grandmother. They --
now, I can only communicate with them through Facebook. I find that amazing. My grandchildren are
totally American in that sense. So I feel very left behind and sad about this.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)
>>UNIDENTIFIED MAN: (Singing in Spanish).
>>HINOJOSA: So kids, come on, remember to call your abuelita whether she happens to be Isabel
Allende or not.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)
>>UNIDENTIFIED MAN: (Singing in Spanish).
>>HINOJOSA: Here are some of the beautiful memories of abuelitos and abuelitas sent in by our
listeners and friends of our show, including a few stories about that moment when you finally have to
say goodbye.

>>NATALIA SYLVESTER: My name is Natalia Sylvester. When I was 6, a couple of years after my family
moved from Peru to Miami, I had a hip surgery that left me in a cast stretching from my chest down to
my left ankle. My grandmother often came over to help my mom take care of me and keep me
company. One day, Nona decided we'd walk to the bakery down the street just her and I. It was called
Anna Lucia Bakery, and we ordered these delicious Peruvian mil hojas filled with layers of manjar blanco
and crispy pastry topped with powdered sugar. On our way home, Nona recited to me a poem she'd
learned as a child. It was from the Spanish play "La Vidas Es Sueno," by Pedro Calderon de la Barca.
Every day, we'd walked to the bakery; me with my little walker, Nona with her mind full of poetry. And
she'd have me recite a line back to her and then another and another until I'd memorized the whole
thing. The poem was about gratitude. It was a reminder that even in difficult times, what we think are
hardships, someone else might consider a blessing. I had many more surgeries after that one, many
more casts and walkers and crutches and months of missing school or being teased by kids once I got
there. But I don't remember feeling like I had much to complain about. To this day, my grandmother will
ask me if I remember the poem, and I say of course. I know it by heart. And I start (speaking Spanish).
>>WILLIAM GARCIA: My name is William Garcia. I grew up between New York and Puerto Rico. And the
most cherished memories of my grandparents definitely took place in Utuado, Puerto Rico. I couldn't
speak Spanish that well when I went back. And so my grandparents really -- definitely reconnected me
with who I am in terms of ancestral and cultural roots. My grandmother Guyamina Cotale definitely
think about her serving the kids around the neighborhood limbel when I had no idea what that meant at
the time. I also remember her making her famous arroz con huevo special, which definitely consisted of
rice and eggs almost every day. Me complaining when she was going to change the menu up, and she
just always answered, you know, (speaking Spanish). My grandfather, Juan Merina he was originally
from Utuado, and he never learned how to read and write but definitely worked for (speaking Spanish)
Puerto Rico for 45 years. He definitely had a field in the back where he had a lot of fruits. And I used to
love glancing at him looking at the field while he was sitting under a zinc roof while he has his machete
in his hand (laughter). He used to always chase us around because we used to always break his plants
because we used to run around the back field and him screaming (speaking Spanish). I can't forget those
two important figures in my life. May they rest in peace.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>CHRIS LOPEZ: My name is Chris Lopez. I'm from Houston, Texas. My grandpa was a father to me. I
looked up to him very much. In May of 2011, which was my senior year of high school, he was put into
the hospital. So I started writing a song with a lot of the feelings I was experiencing and a lot of the
thoughts that were running through my head.
(Singing) I hope I see you again.
I hadn't finished writing the song whenever he did pass away on May 12 of 2011. I continued writing the
song and I finally finished it. I started composing it with the instruments that he bought for me, including
the accordion, trombone and acoustic guitar. He was the hardest song to write, record. I wish I would've
never had to.

I just wish he could hear it.

(Singing) Just like you.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>MARIA HINOJOSA, HOST:
We're going to go back now to that senior center in Queens that we heard from at the top of our show.
Our producer, Camilo Vargas, sat down with with Edith and Marie. He told them about his grandmother
and why he decided to talk about abuelitos.
>>SAMANJEGO: You were very attached to your grandmother.
>>VARGAS: I was the oldest. I was the oldest born to the mother...
>>SAMANJEGO: You were the first one, no wonder. Yes.
>>VARGAS: Well, the idea for this show came because my grandmother passed away this last January.
>>SAMANJEGO: Oh, I'm sorry about that.
>>VARGAS: Yeah.
>>SAMANJEGO: In January.
>>VARGAS: And she was the most special, beautiful, sacred person in my life.
>>FOLKA: I even prepare my grandchildren about that. I talked to them. Even my daughter say to me,
Ma, don't - I say, Devi, it's going to happen, OK? And I tell them if something happen like that don't feel
bad because believe me, I'm resting in peace, OK? And, you know, I'm want them to grow up without
the fear that I was growing up thinking about dying. I want them to feel in peace and thinking OK, my
grandmother, what - I know it happen. And you know how you feel - you see a hearse. I don't want my
grandchildren to hurt like that. I don't want it because I'm going to feel bad. So that's why once in a
while I tell them even if they don't want me to say it, I say it.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>VARGAS: (Reading) Dear Abuelita, the happiest moment of my childhood was when we decided to
move in with you and Abuelito. One of my first memories is of me playing with my sister on a mat you
would lay out for us on the floor of your studio. I can still smell the scent of burning wood and fresh
lacquer that filled our house because you would paint the porcelains on our living room, the paintings
on each of your grandchildren's rooms, and you would even decorate the portable tables, the coasters
and the little wooden treasure chests where all your grandchildren kept their collections. You took care
of us through my parents' divorce, the saddest time I've ever had to live through, but it was that
beautiful home you kept that gave me the strength to endure those terrible times.

Years later, I had just turned 15 when you fell ill for the first time. You stopped painting and our old
house suddenly filled up with the scent of medicine and Vicks VapoRub. And from my room I could hear
the never-ending bubbling sound of the water filter from your oxygen machine. A sound that became
calming as time passed by because I knew it kept you alive, that it gave you breath, and I admired the
strength with which you endured it. I remember you would lay in bed and my grandfather would pull
out his old doctor's bag with the noisy zipper and he would pull out an old stethoscope to make sure
your heart was OK. That image of my grandfather taking care of you when you were weak is the first
image of what true love looks like, and it stayed with me ever since.
When my grandfather passed away, I was out of the country and I didn't get to say goodbye to him, but I
promised myself that I would visit you as often as I could. Three years ago, Abuelita, I moved to New
York to pursue my dreams, just like you and Abuelito wanted. I knew that I wouldn't be able to visit you
every Sunday like I used to. My greatest fear was that you would forget me or that I wouldn't get to say
goodbye. So this past Christmas, I came home to you and we spent the most beautiful Christmas
together, praying the novenas, that Colombian tradition of praying for nine nights before Christmas Eve.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
>>UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN: (Speaking Spanish).
>>VARGAS: Then, two days before New Years, you had that terrible stroke, but you weren't going to let
that ruin Ao Nuevo. So the night of New Year's Eve, all of our family flew in and we spent New Year's
Eve with you at the hospital, sneaking in the fruit salad and baked ham you loved so much. A part of me
knew that this was the beginning of the end, that you had waited for me, for all of us. And a few days
later, in January, as we took you to the hospital because your heart was starting to give out, I was there
with you. I was there in the emergency room while you were still conscious and I held your hand one last
time and I said (speaking Spanish) and you looked at me and said your final words (speaking Spanish) -
yes, my love. I kept my promise. You gave me the gift of saying goodbye.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
>>VARGAS: Abuelita, you and Abeulito Fredo gave me the most beautiful childhood a boy could ever
wish for. Everything that is strong in me I owe to you. The love that I saw in my grandfather's eyes as he
looked at you, even in his last days, is the same love that I have and will always have for my husband.
Thanks to you, I look forward to growing old at his side, enjoying the passage of time like aging lovers in
a Gabriel Garcia Marquez story. I will care for him and he will care for me and who knows? We'll
probably enjoy the sound of our own grandchildren playing or reading out loud on a mat in the floor of
our house. Other people are afraid of getting old, Abuelita, and growing weak with time. But thanks to
you, old age feels like a long lost paradise, a home that I am slowly returning to - (speaking Spanish).
>>HINOJOSA: (Speaking Spanish) your grandma's name.
>>VARGAS: Isabel Lozano Aguirre.

>>HINOJOSA: Gracias Isabel Lozano Aguirre for bringing us Camilo and for Camilo doing the show. Thank
you, Camilo.
>>VARGAS: Thank you, Maria.
>>HINOJOSA: Thank you to all of our listeners and friends who sent in your pictures and stories about
your abuelos and abuelas. We put them together in audio collage with pictures and your stories. Just go
to our website, latinousa.org, to hear them. Now we want to take a minute to say thanks to someone
whose name you've heard on our air for a very long time. Senior producer A.C. Valdez is leaving us, but
the entire LUSA team wants to say gracias, A.C., for all your hard work and help as we move to our hour-
long format. I am particularly sad to say goodbye to someone who I enjoyed with a lot, especially on the
road -- in Austin, Sacramento, Corpus and in Laredo, A.C., where you thought you just might try your
luck in the jalapeo eating contest. We'll miss you very much, Ariel, and wish you all the best on your
next big adventure. Gracias de nuevo. And since today's show has been all about the abuelos, Daisy
Rosario's grandfather, Bert Seise, is going to give you the credits.
>>SEISE: That's it for this week. Latino USA is produced by Camilo Vargas, Daisy Rosario, A.C. Valdez,
Leda Hartman, Marlon Bishop, Michael Simon Johnson and Antonia Cereijido. Our engineer is Cornelius
McMoyler. Nadia Reiman is our music content. Nancy Trujillo makes it all happen. This show was
founded at the University of Texas at Austin. Maria Hinojosa is our host and executive producer. Join us
again next week. And in the meantime, you can find Latino USA on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr.
>>SPONSORSHIP: Latino USA is made possible in part by the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur
Foundation. The Ford Foundation, dedicated to working with visionaries on the frontlines of social
change worldwide.
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since 1985, supporting advances in science, education and the arts towards a better life. More
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