CHAPTER 8

SOCIAL PENETRATION THEORY

Outline
I.

Introduction.
A. Developed by social psychologists Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor,
social penetration theory explains how relational closeness develops.
B. Closeness develops only if individuals proceed in a gradual and orderly
fashion from superficial to intimate levels of exchange as a function of
both immediate and forecast outcomes.

II.

Personality structure: a multilayered onion.

A. The outer layer is the public self.
B. The inner core is ones private domain.

III.

Closeness through self-disclosure.

A. The main route to deep social penetration is through self-disclosure.
B. With the onion-wedge model, the depth of penetration represents the
degree of personal disclosure.
C. The layers of the onion are tougher near the center.

IV.

The depth and breadth of self-disclosure.

A. Peripheral items are exchanged more frequently and sooner than
private information.
B. Self-disclosure is reciprocal, especially in early stages of relationship
development.
C. Penetration is rapid at the start, but slows down quickly as the tightly
wrapped inner layers are reached.
1. Societal norms prevent too much early self-disclosure.
2. Most relationships stall before a stable intimate exchange is
established.
3. Genuine intimate exchange is rare but when it is achieved,
relationships become meaningful and enduring.
D. Depenetration is a gradual process of layer-by-layer withdrawal.
E. For true intimacy, depth and breadth of penetration are equally
important.

V.

Regulating closeness on the basis of rewards and costs.

A. Social penetration theory draws heavily on the social exchange theory
of John Thibaut and Harold Kelley.
B. If perceived mutual benefits outweigh the costs of greater
vulnerability, the process of social penetration will proceed.

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C. Three important concepts are:

satisfaction; and relational stability.

relational

outcome;

relational

VI. Outcome: rewards minus costs.

A. Thibaut and Kelley suggest that people try to predict the outcome of
an interaction before it takes place.
1. The economic approach to determining behavior dates from John
Stuart Mills principle of utility.
2. The minimax principle of human behavior claims that people seek
to maximize benefits and minimize costs.
3. The higher we index a relational outcome, the more attractive the
behavior that might make it happen.
B. Social exchange theory assumes that people can accurately gauge the
benefits of their actions and make sensible choices based on their
predictions.
C. As relationships develop, the nature of interaction that friends find
rewarding evolves.
VII. Gauging relational satisfaction- Comparison level (CL).
A. A persons CL is the threshold above which an outcome appears
attractive.
B. Ones CL for friendship, romance, or family ties is pegged by ones
relational history, the baseline of past experience.
C. Sequence and trends play large roles in evaluating a relationship.
VIII. Gauging relational stability- Comparison level of alternatives (CLalt).
A. The CLalt is the best relational outcomes currently available outside the
relationship.
B. While ones CL is relatively stable over time, CLalt compares the options
at the current moment.
C. When existent outcomes slide below an established CL alt, relational
instability increases.
D. Social exchange theories have an economic orientation.
E. The CLalt explains why people sometimes stay in unsatisfying
relationships.
1. Some women endure abuse because Outcome > CLalt.
2. They will leave only when CLalt > Outcome.
F. The relative values of Outcome, CL, and CL alt help determine ones
willingness to disclose.
1. Optimum disclosure will occur when both parties believe that
Outcome > CLalt > CL.
2. A relationship can be more than satisfying if it is stable, but other
satisfying options are also available (in case this relationship turns
sour).
IX. Ethical reflection: Epicurus ethical egoism.
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A. Psychological egoism reflects many social scientists conviction that all

of us are motivated by self-interest.
B. Ethical egoism claim we should act selfishly.
C. Epicurus emphasized the passive pleasures of friendship, good
digestion, and above all, the absence of pain.
D.Other philosophers (Thomas Hobbes, Adam Smith, Friedrich Nietzsche,
Ayn Rand) echo the Epicurean call for selfish concern.
X.

Dialectics and the environment.

A. Altman originally thought that openness is the predominant quality of
relationship changes.
The desire for privacy may counteract a
unidirectional quest for intimacy.
B. A dialectical model suggests that human social relationships are
characterized by openness or contact and closedness or separateness
between participants.
C. Altman also identified the environment as a heuristic cue that might
guide our decisions to disclose.
D. Disclosing of ones self may include both our cognitive space (our
minds, thoughts) and our physical space or territory.
E. Sandra Petronios Communication Privacy Management theory maps
out the intricate ways people manage boundaries around their
personal information.

XI. Critique: pulling back from social penetration.

A. Social penetration is an established and familiar explanation of how
closeness develops in friendships and romantic relationships. But, it
also has many critics.
B. Petronio thinks its simplistic to equate self-disclosure with relational
closeness.
C. She also challenges the theorists view of disclosure boundaries as
being fixed and increasingly less permeable.
D. Can a complex blend of advantages and disadvantages be reliably
reduced to a single index?
E. Are people so consistently selfish that they always opt to act strictly in
their own best interest?
F. Paul Wright believes that friendships often reach a point of such
closeness that self-centered concerns are no longer salient.

Key Names and Terms

Close Relationship
A relationship characterized by strong, frequent, and
interdependence that lasts over a considerable period of time.
Carl Rogers

diverse

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A psychologist who developed a theory of personal and relationship

growth.
Gary Becker
A Nobel Prize-winning economist from the University of Chicago whose
supply-and-demand market models predict the behavior of everyday
livingincluding love and marriage.
Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor
Social psychologists who created social penetration theory. Altman is a
researcher at University of Utah; Taylor, now deceased, was affiliated
with Lincoln University, Pennsylvania.
Social Penetration
The process of developing deeper intimacy with another person through
mutual self-disclosure and other forms of vulnerability.
Personality Structure
Onion-like layers of beliefs and feelings about self, others, and the world;
deeper levels are more vulnerable, protected, and central to self-image.
Self-disclosure
The voluntary sharing of personal history, preferences, attitudes,
feelings, values, secrets, etc., with another person; transparency.
Depth of penetration
The degree of disclosure in a specific area of an individuals life.
Law of reciprocity
A paced and ordered process in which openness in one person leads to
openness in the other
Breadth of penetration
The range of areas in an individuals life over which disclosure takes
place.
Social exchange
Relationship behavior and status regulated by both parties evaluations
of perceived rewards and costs of interaction with each other.
John Thibaut and Harold Kelley
Psychologists who developed social exchange theory or the attempt to
quantify the value of different outcomes for an individual. Thibaut, now
deceased, was affiliated with the University of North Carolina; Kelley is a
researcher at UCLA.
Outcome
The perceived rewards minus the costs of interpersonal interaction.
Minimax priniciple of human behavior
People seek to maximize their benefits and minimize their costs.
Comparison level (CL)
The threshold above which an interpersonal outcome seems attractive; a
standard for relationship satisfaction.
Comparison level of alternatives (CLalt)
The best outcomes available in other relationships; a standard for
relationship stability.
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distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.

Ethical egoism
The belief that individuals should live their lives so as to maximize their
own pleasure and minimize their own pain.
Dialectical model
The assumption that people want both privacy and intimacy in their
social relationships; they experience a tension between disclosure and
withdrawal.
Territoriality
The tendency to claim a physical location or object as our own.
Sandra Petronio
Communication theorist from the Indiana University-Purdue University,
Indianapolis who developed communication privacy management theory
about the intricate ways people handle conflicting desires for privacy and
openness.
Paul Wright
Professor emeritus from University of North Dakota who believes that
friendships often reach a point of such closeness that self-centered
concerns are no longer salient.

Sample Application Log

Dan
I have always been cautious about what I tell people about myself. I never
want to reveal something that I might later regret. But I do like to have close
relationships. The problem is I find it takes a long time for me to form that
closeness.
When I was in sixth grade I moved to a new school. I didnt begin to feel like
people really knew me until my junior year in high school. I really enjoyed
those last two years of high school, but maybe if I had been a little less
cautious about telling people about myself earlier, I could have had more fun
all throughout junior and senior high. Maybe I should go out on a limb a little
more; I may find that people are willing to let me come closer to them as a
result.

Further Resources

Although Carl Rogers was not a communication scholar per se, his ideas
have been extremely influential in our discipline.
Thus, it is not

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distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.

surprising that John Stewart includes him as a key theorist for

interpersonal communication in his popular communication anthology,
Bridges Not Walls, 10th ed. (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2009), 640-49.
A good discussion of his contribution to our field is provided by Kenneth
Cissna and Rob Anderson, The Contributions of Carl R. Rogers to a
Philosophical Praxis of Dialogue, Western Journal of Speech
Communication 54 (1990): 125-47. Cissna and Anderson compare the
work of Rogers and Buber, who is featured in an Ethical Reflection a bit
later in the book.
For discussion of Rogers influence on rhetoric, see:
o Richard E. Young, Alton L. Becker, and Kenneth Pike, Rhetoric:
Discovery and Change (New York: Harcourt, 1970), 273-90;
o Doug Brent, Rogerian Rhetoric: Ethical Growth Through Alternative
Forms of Argument, Argument Revisited; Argument Redefined:
Negotiating Meaning in the Composition Classroom (Thousand
Oaks: Sage, 1996), 73-96;
o Nathaniel Teich, Rogerian Rhetoric, Encyclopedia of Rhetoric and
Composition, 635-36; Rogerian Perspectives: Collaborative
Rhetoric for Oral and Written Communication (Norwood: Ablex,
1992).

An alternative theory about relationship development is Peter Andersens

cognitive valence theory of intimate communication, which employs some
concepts introduced in Griffins treatment of expectancy violations theory
(see Peter Andersen, The Cognitive Valence Theory of Intimate
Communication, Progress in Communication Sciences, Vol. XIV: Mutual
Influences in Interpersonal Communication, ed. Mark T. Palmer and George
Barnett (Stanford, CT: Ablex, 1997), 39-72.

Interesting films that feature various aspects of relationship development

include :
o Louis Malle's stunning Au Revior, Les Enfants (Goodbye, Children)
o As Good as it Gets
o Good Will Hunting (this one has been extremely popular with our
students)
o Love and Basketball
o Moonstruck
o Playing by Heart
o Sense and Sensibility
o Somethings Gotta Give
o 10 Things I Hate About You

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o The Shawshank Redemption

o Slumdog Millionaire
For a study that builds on the work of John Thibaut and Harold Kelley, see
Michael Sunnafrank, Youve Lost That Loving Feeling: Romance Loss as a
Function of Relationship Development and Escalation Processes,
Communication and Social Influence Processes, ed. Charles R. Berger (East
Lansing: Michigan State University Press, 1995), 133-53.
For additional discussion of depenetration, see Betsy Tolstedt and Joseph
Stokes, Self-Disclosure, Intimacy, and Depenetration Process, Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology 46 (1984): 84-90.
If students want to learn more about social exchange theory, Griffins
chapter-length treatment from the Second Edition (available on the website
discussed in the Preface to this manual) is a good place to begin.

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distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.