Overtime the number of blended families in society has increased.

The

definition of a blended family is considered to be a family unit that results from the union
of two parents, both with a child or children from previous relationships. As such it is a
combination of two families. (PsychologyDictionary.org) Due to the amount of stress
and conflict blended families endure, the overall divorce rate for stepfamilies is higher
compared to the nuclear family. Three out of five families are blended families and of
these, sixty-six percent of the marriages that created them end in divorce. (2015,
crisiscounseling.org)(2015, goodtherapy.org) The higher divorce rate associated with
blended families is an issue due to the negative affects it has on parents and children
individually as well as the affects it has on society as a whole. The following paragraphs
will discuss some of the reasons why blended families experience more stress and
conflict and the consequences that can follow. Interventions and programs to help
blended families steer away from divorce will also be discussed towards the end of this
paper.
There are various individual issues facing the mother and father in a blended
family that can lead to divorce. Many parents in stepfamilies find it difficult to consider
the biological parents parenting style and decision-making. When parents are faced with
disciplining a child who they have not raised since birth, conflicts can occur between the
biological parent and stepparent. The perspective of the stepparent is in most cases
different than the biological parent. (2015, NJ.com) Differing perspectives can also cause
anxiety about how the stepfather or mother compares to the stepchilds biological parent.
If parents do not treat children equally conflicts between spouses can occur but if parents

back off from non-biological child their spouse may become irritated. (2015,
goodtherapy.org)
Issues that arise with partners children may also place unneeded tension on a
newly formed bond/marriage leading the couple to have negative feelings about their
relationship. (2015, goodtherapy.org) In some cases one parent may have never parented
before and be reluctant to their new role as a caretaker. Even parents who have their own
children can sometimes feel unsuited to raise a child who is not their own. (2015,
helpguide.org) If parents treat siblings all equally their biological child may feel jealous.
Stepparents struggle with the balance between winning the affection of their new
stepchildren and parenting appropriately. (2015, goodtherapy.org) In many cases parents
are still internally coping with the loss and lack of closure associated with their prior
marriage or relationship. Parents of stepfamilies battle with developing their own role in
the new family dynamic and not taking away from the charm of blended families. (cite)
Children of stepfamilies face a number of their own challenges on a daily basis.
Children with new stepparents endure anxiety trying to adjust to new parents rules and
discipline style. In some cases the parenting style of the stepparent may be more strict
than the biological parent. (2015, NJ.com) Too many changes in a short amount of time
can be unsettling and unnerving for children at any age. (2015, helpguide.org) Children
that have lost a parent due to death or other disparities are instilled with fear of losing
another. Some children may still be grieving the loss of their other parent and now will be
further distressed by the remarriage and emotional loss of their remaining parent.
Children can also be extremely hesitant to trust their new stepparent. Children battle with
the idea that someone can simply stop loving another and come to believe that love and

relationships are neither dependable nor predictable. (crisiscounseling.org) Due to the

fear of their biological parent possibly over time favoring their stepsibling, children may
feel the need to compete for love and attention. (2015, goodtherapy.org)
Children in blended families may feel mixed emotions when they begin to feel
love towards their stepparent but overtime begin to naturally miss their biological parent
and struggle with not wanting to hurt their stepparents feelings. If children are not
originally fond of their stepparent, some will test the relationship between their parent
and step parent. Children will begin to intentionally break rules and then ask for
exceptions to challenge parents to make choices between them and their partner. (2015,
crisiscounseling.org) The more challenges parents face, the possible risk of divorce
increases. If children feel tension between parents they will soon begin to resent their
internal negative feelings and in turn take out anger on others. Unresolved grief from
parents can trickle down to children shown by fear, anger, and depression. In time
children will seek out ways to avoid covering up their feelings. Children grieve and let go
in different ways over different time frames and naturally misbehave while acting out
feelings during times of stress. (2015, crisiscounseling.org) Issues that lead to divorce
can also arise between siblings that do not get along prior to marriage and/or following
marriage. Siblings can be closer in age due to having a non-biological parent thus
creating more tension and competition.
Issues within individual dynamics & dynamics throughout the family is another
major cause of divorce. Tension can arise within blended families when children feel they
are forced to go along with someone elses routine. Family members can have difficulty
adjusting to new roles of a larger family than what they have been accustomed to. (2015,

goodtherapy.org) Family event planning can get also complicated, especially when
factoring in child custody considerations. Frustration can derive from arguments
surrounding planning trips that require complicated arrangements to include new siblings.
(2015, goodtherapy.org)
Issues that lead to divorce can also arise from different ideas and customs
surrounding annual events such as holidays, birthdays and vacations. Normal routine
changes and scheduling conflicts can cause family members to have difficulty finding
time to get used to another. During visitations with their biological parent, children may
complain about their stepparent and in turn create feelings of hostility towards the
stepparent. Disagreements, conflicts, and inconsistent discipline methods can also arise
between separated or divorced parents leading the increased chance of divorce. If both
parents remarry partners with existing families, it can mean children suddenly find
themselves with two different roles in two separate blended families. (2015,
helpguide.org) (2015, goodtherapy.org)
The high divorce rate associate with blended families can affect society in various
ways. Single parents and parents struggling to adjust in a new relationship need more
support services provided by the community. If parents do not have much money, they
will use taxpayer social supported networks thus affecting society as a whole. Children
affected by divorce have increased possibly of becoming more delinquent including being
involved in un lawful acts and enduring in more drug use. The more individuals that are
charged with misdemeanors and felonies, the more money it costs society overall in court
costs, juvenile services all taxpayer supported systems surrounding the law. Robert
Sampson, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, found that the divorce

rate predicted the rate of robbery in any given area, regardless of economic or racial
composition. In his study of 171 cities with populations above 100,000, Sampson showed
that the lower a city's rate of divorce, the lower its levels of crime. (2000, heritage.org)
There is also the increased chance that children of divorced families will become
victims and/or perpetrators of abuse and neglect, which overtime also burdens taxpayers
social services. High school dropout rates are much higher among children of divorced
parents than among children of always-married parents, and children from divorced
families have a college attendance rate about 60 percent lower than children from intact
families. (2000, heritage.og) With divorce affecting the number of young adults
graduating high school and moving onto college decreasing, there will be a smaller
amount of successful and educated citizens throughout society.
A number of interventions and programs are offered throughout the community to
help blended families cope with their stressors and avoid divorce. Individual parent
counseling along with parent education can help decrease misunderstanding within parent
and child relationships. Along with individual therapy, family therapy can be used to help
void tension between the relationship between siblings and the relationship between
children and their new stepparent. Family therapy is often an effective way for a blended
family to work through the issues that each member brings to the new family. (2015,
goodtherapy.org). Counselors and therapists will urge parents to promote co-parenting
and in turn lessen the effects of divorce on the children. Choosing a therapist that
everyone in the family is confortable with is important. Families can obtain referrals from
their own family doctor, family or friends, various provider listings from insurance
companies as well as any mental health association. (2015, goodtherapy.org)

Based on the above factors that lead to increased stressors and tension within
blended families, these families have a higher rate of divorce compared to the nuclear
family. The various issues associated with increased stressors cause blended families to
endure increased stress and conflict. Increased stress and conflict leading to divorce
negatively effects parents and children individually as well as the affects it has on society
as a whole.

References
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Dumas, Prin. (2015) .Ways to handle stress for children in blended families.NJ.com.
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Kemp, G., Segal, J., Robinson, L. (2015) . Step-Parenting and Blended
Families: How To Bond with Stepchildren and Deal with Stepfamily
Issues. Helpguide.org. Retrieved from
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/family-divorce/step-parenting-blendedfamilies.htm
Psychology Dictionary. Pyschologydictionary.org. Retrieved from
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(2015) . Find the Right Therapist. Therapy for Blended Families, Therapist
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http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-blended-family-issues.html#
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