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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

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ALLWRITEFICTIONADVICE
A D V I CEONCR EA TI V EWR I TI NG

S A T UR DA Y, 2 9 MA R CH 2 0 1 4

HowtoAvoidBadWritingPart2
Wecontinueourlookatthekindofthingsthatcause
badwriting,andwaystoavoidthemsothattheynever
cropupagain.Aswithmostthings,onceyoulearnto
recognisethem,youllbebetterequippedtodealwith
themwhenediting.
InPart1,welookedatsequenceofactionsand
separatingcharacteractionsinordertoachievebetter
sentencestructuresandavoidsomeoftheflawswhich
arecommonplaceinfictionwriting.
Thisweekwelltakeadetailedlookatacoupleofmore
badwritingexamples,andwaystoeliminatethemfrom
yournarrative.
UnnecessarySpeechAttribution
Thereisonethingthatmanywritersstilldowhenit
comestowritingdialoguetheycontinuetoget
sentencestructureincorrectbyattributingspeechtags
whentheyarenotactuallynecessary.

A LL WR IT E FICT ION
A DVICE

IsBackstoryNecessary?
CreatingLastingImages
TrustYourMemories
ReadingYourMSSOutLoud
SortingFactfromFiction

WE LCOME T O A LL WR IT E

Soyou'veembarkedonyour
fictionwritingjourney.
It'soneofthehardestthingsto
docreateawhole,believable
worldforotherpeopletoenjoy,
especiallyifyou'renewto
writing.It'salsooneofthe
loneliestjobs,especiallywhen
thereisnohelporadviceor
support...sorightheretherewill
behandyarticles,examplesand
simplestepbystepguidesto
helpmakethecreativeprocess
thatmucheasier.

Inlaymenstermsspeechtags,orattributions,area
wayofidentifyingthespeaker.
Foragentsorpublishersitcanbeespeciallyinfuriating
whenwritersdothis,becausedialoguestructurereally
isntdifficulttodo,andforwritersseekingafootinthe
doortobeingpublished,itcanbethedifference
http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.in/2014_03_01_archive.html

FE BR UA R Y FE MME S
FA T A LE S

Thisnewdeliciouslydark
anthologyisoutnow,witha
rangeofstunningfemalewriters
toscareanddelightinequal
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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

betweenrejectionandacceptance.
Heresasimpleexamplewhichisverysimilartothe
typeIseeallthetime,especiallyinselfpublished
stories,wherethewriterhasnttakenthetimetolearn
thecraftofwriting,norunderstoodtheprocessof
editing:
Johnpointedandsmiled.Haha,hetittered.

measure.Iamprivilegedto
haveeightshortstories/poems
publishedinthisbook,soifyou
likeyourdamesalittledarkand
dangerous,thisisthebookfor
you.

NOW A VA ILA BLE ON

A MA Z ON

Thisisaclassicmistake.Firstly,thewriterhasdenoted
whoisspeakingJohnbyplacingtheactionahead
ofthedialogue.Thereisnofurtherneedforspeech
attributionandthereforehetitteredisnotrequired
becausewealreadyknowthatJohnisspeaking.
Inthisexample,theattributionbecomessuperfluous
andthewritingsuffersbecauseofit.Thecorrect
structureisasfollows:
Johnpointedandsmiled.Haha.
Thisisclearandconcise.Theactionbeforethe
dialoguetellsthereaderwhoisabouttospeak,and
becauseitsclearwhoisspeaking,thereisnoneedto
addspeechtags.
Heresanotherexample:
Anothertimeperhaps,andIwouldhavepaidmore
attention,Johnsaid.Heshrugged.ButIguessIwas
justtoobusyconcentratingonotherthings,headded.

FebruaryFemmesFatalesThe
Book

WIS E WOR DS ...

Writingislikebeingmarried
youhavetoworkhardat
maintaininghappinessand
equilibrium,butinvariablyone
alwaysendsupinthedog
house.

A BOUT ME

YoucanseethatthewriterhasmadeitclearthatJohn
isspeakingbytheJohnsaidattribution.Thenafterthe
action,thewriterhasmadethemistakeofaddinga
furtherattributionofheaddedwhichissurplusto
requirementsandshouldnotbeplacedinthe
sentence.Thisshowsthewriterslackofskillin
dialoguestructureandtheresultisbadwriting.
Thecorrectstructureshouldbe:
Anothertimeperhaps,andIwouldhavepaidmore
attention,Johnsaid.Heshrugged.ButIguessIwas
justtoobusyconcentratingonotherthings.
Ifyouhavealreadydenotedwhoisspeaking,youdont
havetoputhesaidorshesaidetc.Speech
attributionsarejustthat,theytellthereaderwhois
http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.in/2014_03_01_archive.html

A J HUM PA GE
UNIT E DK INGDO M

I'vebeenwritingfor
over25yearsand
startedoutinthe
publishingindustry.I've
publishedarticles,studyguides,
poems,flashfiction,short
storiesandanovel.Ialsowork
fulltimesoI'mALWAYS
working.
V IEW MY CO MPL ETE PR O F IL E

BLOOD OF T HE FA T HE R

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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

speaking.
Anyinstanceofthiskindoferrorisasignofbad
writing.Makesurethatyoufullyunderstandaction
versusdialoguestructure.Itsimperativethat
somethingasbasicandasfundamentalasthisis
presentedcorrectlywhensubmittingyourworkto
agentsandpublishers,otherwiseyouwillfailto
impressthem.
ShiftingPointofView
Anothercommonfauxpas,andasuresignofbad
writing,istheeverchangingPOV.
Thisisanothercommonerrorbywriterswhohavenot
studiedhowPOVworks.Theresultisthatscenes
swapviewpointfromcharactertocharacterand
thereforehavenocohesion.

NowavailableonAmazonKindle
UKandUS

BLOOD A ND GUT S
A NT HOLOGY

POVisfixedforwhichevercharacteryouare
concentratingoninanyrunningsceneorchapter.If
youstartachapterwithonecharacter,youshouldstick
tothatcharacterspointofviewuntilyouhaveachance
toswapviewpointwithanewsceneoranewchapter.
Neverswitchviewpointsduringascene.Inother
words,dontstartoffthescenewithCharacterAs
viewpointandthenswaptoCharacterBsviewpoint
halfwaythrough.Itcausesuntoldconfusionforthe
readertryingtofollowthestory,thecharactersandthe
plotpointsetc.,andtheydontwantthetaskmade
moredifficultwitheverchangingPOVs.Italsomakes
thestorydisjointed,whichmeansthereaderwillfindit
hardtoempathiseorconnecttoanycharacters.

YOUASCAREDYCAT?Now
availableatAmazon

FE BR UA R Y FE MME S
FA T A LE S S T OR IE S

Theotherrealdanger,ofcourse,isthatyoumaywell
endupinadvertentlylettinganothercharactertakeover
thestorycompletely.
Writerswhoarenotcarefulsometimesfindthat
secondarycharacterstakeoverthestory,leavingthe
maincharacterwhosestoryyouaretellingoutin
thecold.Ortheymightfindthatduringthereading
stage,anothercharacterseemstohavemorescenes
orchaptersthanthemaincharacter.
Whenthishappens,itmeansthewriterhaslostthe
storypathway.Italsomeanstheyhavealsolostfocus.
http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.in/2014_03_01_archive.html

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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

Therearesomanygoodreasonsforkeepingatight
reinonPOV.Itimprovesstorycohesionbyallowingthe
readertofollowthemaincharactersjourney,ithelps
yourreaderkeeptrackofyourcharacters,ithelpsthem
connectwiththosecharactersandaboveall,itensures
yourmaincharacterremainsthedominantcharacter
throughout.
Remember,badwritingcanmeanthedifference
betweenpublishedandunpublished.
Nextweek:HowtoavoidbadwritingPart3
PO S TED B Y A J H UMPA G E A T S A TUR D A Y, MA R CH 29, 2014
1 CO MMEN T:

L IN K S TO TH IS PO S T

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S A T UR DA Y, 2 2 MA R CH 2 0 1 4

HowtoAvoidBadWritingPart1
S T YLIS H BLOGGE R A WA R D

Weveallbeenguiltyofbadwritingatsomepoint
duringourwritingcareers,moresoatthestartofour
writingjourney,whenitsallnewanddauntingandwe
lacktheexperience.Infact,badwritingisallpartof
thatjourney.Weallhavetowritebadlyinorderto
improveandbecomebetterwriters.
Thatsaid,therearemanyaspectsofstorytellingthat
writersstillhaventgottogripswith,thekindofthings
thatareeasilyrectified,butmoreimportantly,areeasily
avoidable.Unfortunately,manywritersjustcantbe
botheredtocorrectbadwritingor,worsestill,they
ignorantlythinkitsokay.
Badwritingmaybeokayforanobliviouswriter,butnot
foradiscerningagentorpublisher.

BLOG A R CHIVE

2015(8)
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Andbecausetherearesomanymisdemeanourswhere
badwritingisconcerned,Ivecollatedtogethersome
thatIhavecomeacrossfromtimetotimewhile
critiquing.
SequenceofActions
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Writersconstantlyaskmeaboutthis.Itseemstofoila
numberofbeginners,whichisunderstandable,but
moreexperiencedwritersfallfoul,too.
Onceyouunderstandtheprincipalsbehindcorrect
sentencestructuring,however,themistakesbecome
avoidable.Therearenoexcusesforgettingthiswrong.
Firstly,writersshouldbeawareofandrecognisethat
thefictionalworlddiffersfromtherealworldinmany
differentways.Onesuchwayisthewayweportray
actions.
Intherealworld,wedoseveralthingsatoncewe
pickupaphonetomakeacallwhileeatingormoving
thingsaroundadesk,whileatthesametimechatting
tosomeonenearbyalldonewithoutevenconsciously
thinkingaboutit.Thesearemultipleactionscarried
outunconsciously.
Inthefictionalworldthesemultipleactionscanttake
place.Iknowthisdoesntmakemuchsense,butthere
isagoodreasonwhy:itsbecauseofthewayfictionis
written.Thestructureandorderofactionsneedstobe
clearforthereadertofollow,andmoreimportantly,it
needstobesequential,ratherthanajumbleof
actions,andespeciallysoiftheyarereadingabout
severalcharactersinonescene,alldoingvarious
actions.
Clarityisalwayskeytowriting,andsosequenceof
actionsareimportanttomaintainthatclarity.
Thereasonwedonthavecharactersdoingadozen
thingsatonceistoavoidlackofclarity,ambiguity,
readerconfusionandultimately,badwriting,for
example:

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T WIT T E R

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Humpage

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Johnheardthedoorbellandwalkedovertothedoor
andanswereditwiththetoasthalfwayoutofhismouth,
whichhewaschewing,andhegesturedtothewoman
onthefrontdoorsteptoenter,lickingthebutteroffhis
fingersandmovingasidetoletherin...
Thecharacterisdoingtoomuchforthescene,which
meansthewritercantrelatetheseactionsclearly,(not
withoutaddingafewextraparagraphsofexposition).It
becomestoobusy,disjointedandconfusing.Itsalso
ambiguous.

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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

Nowcompareitwithaversionthatleavesoutthe
nonsenseandconcentratesonsequentialactions.
Johnheardthedoorbell.Hefinishedthelastmouthful
oftoastwalkedovertothedoorandansweredit.He
gesturedtothewomanonthefrontdoorsteptoenter
andmovedasidetoletherin
Thisversionismuchbetter.Itsclearandorderedand
doesntcarryanyconfusionorambiguityinthe
charactersactions.Hisactionshappeninaspecific
order.Thatspreciselywhycharactersshouldreally
onlydoonethingatatimeinfiction.
SeparateYourCharacterActions
Anotherexampleofsentencemuddlingiswherewriters
unwittinglycreateambiguitywithmultipleactions,
whereactionsarenotclearlydefinedforthecharacter.
Writersmustrememberthatcharactersshouldnotdo
twothingsatonceinfiction.Thisgoesagainstwhatwe
doinreallifeanddoesntmakesense,butasalready
pointedoutcharacteractionsmustbesequentialor
ordered.
Forexample:
Lizknewtimewasoftheessence.Shecalledthe
ambulanceanddrovetothehospital.
Lizmanagedtodotwothingssimultaneously.She
calledtheambulanceanddrovetothehospital.While
inourmindswecanlogicallymakesenseofthiswe
understandshecalledtheambulanceandthenshe
drovetothehospitalbutthewayitiswrittencauses
confusionandambiguityforthereader.

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WOR K S OF A J HUMPA GE

http://ajhumpage.blogspot.com
ThrillersChillers'n'Killers

SHA R E IT

Toavoidthis,thesentencemightbebetterstructured
asfollows:
Lizknewtimewasoftheessence.Shecalledthe
ambulance.Afterwards,shedrovetothehospital.
HeresanotherexampleofwhatIseeallthetime.
Shekissedhimandracedtothedoor.
Again,weknowshekissedhimandthenracedtothe
door,butitdoesntreadwellbecauseofthewaythe
sentenceisstructured.Butimprovingthestructure
bringsclarity.
http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.in/2014_03_01_archive.html

T R A NSLA T E

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Shekissedhim.Excited,shethenracedtothedoor.
Thereisonecommondenominatoratworkherethe
wordand.Thisiswhatcausestheactionstobecome
simultaneous.Removetheandandrearrangethe
structureofasentenceandyouwillfindthe
simultaneousactionswilldisappear,astheexamples
aboveshow.Byremovingandfrombothexamples,
theybecomeclearer.
Whereverpossibletrytoavoidsimultaneouscharacter
actions,andthinkcarefullyaboutthesequenceof
characteractionsifyouwanttoeliminatebadwriting
andimprovesentencestructuring.

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PA GE VIE WS LA S T MONT H

Theyreallyaresimpleerrorsandyetsomanywriters
stillwritelikethis.
InParts2and3welllookatafewmoreexamplesof
thekindsofthingsthatlendtobadwritingandwaysto
avoidthem.

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Nextweek:HowtoavoidbadwritingPart2
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S UNDA Y, 1 6 MA R CH 2 0 1 4

LiterarydevicesImproveyournarrative
Part2

AJ Humpage
Author and artist

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Inpart1,welookedatthemostcommonliterary
devicesthekindthatmostofushaveusedregularly
perhaps,thingslikesymbolism,metaphoror
foreshadowing.
Therearelesswellknownonestoo,oneswemayhave
heardofbutprobablydontknowtoomuchabout.But
knowingaboutthemandhowtheycanenlivenyour
narrativeisapositivething,afterall,themore
knowledgethewriterhas,thebetterthewritingin
general.Therefore,anoverallknowledgeofasmany
literarydevicesaspossibleisagoodthing.
http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.in/2014_03_01_archive.html

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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

So,whicharethelesscommonones,andwhatdothey
do?

Euphony
Connotation
Allusion
Assonance
Motif
Euphonyreferstopleasantsoundscreated,particularly
withsoftvowelsandsoftconsonants.Itderivesfrom
theGreekwordeuphonos,whichlooselymeans
sweetvoiced.Inotherwords,itsaboutwordsor
phrasesthatarenotedfortheircharm,harmonyor
melodyinthesoundsthattheycreate.
Itisoftenfoundinliterarynovelsorpoetryandwriters
useittomakethenarrativemelodiousandlovelyso
thatthewordsinthesentencereallydorolloffthe
tonguewhenyoureadthem.Forexample,acoupleof
linesfromAlfredLordTennysonsTheLotosEaters:
Inwhichitseemedalwaysafternoon.
Allroundthecoastthelanguidairdidswoon
Ofcourse,youdonthavetobealiteraryauthorto
encompasseuphony.Whateverthegenre,euphony
willdefinitelymakeyournarrativesoundmore
melodiousandpleasant.
Youmayhaveheardofconnotation,butexactlydoesit
mean?Connotationistheassociationpeoplemake
withwordsthatareinadditiontoitsliteraldefinition.
Thoseassociationscouldbeemotionalandcultural,
personaloruniversal,goodorbad.
Forexample,takethewordkill.Everyoneknowswhat
itmeans.Butithasotherconnotations.Ohmygod
thatjokekilledme!orthepainiskillingme.What
aboutIcouldkillforadrinkorYouresofunny,you
justkillme.
Thinkoftheconnotationsofotherwordstheyarenot
necessarilywhatyouthinktheymean.Blueisntjusta
colour.Itsamood,astateofemotionalbeing,too.
http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.in/2014_03_01_archive.html

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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

Animalcanmeandifferentthingsacreature,oritcan
symboliseanegative,primitivehumantrait.
Aswriterswedontalwaysseetheseconnections
whenwriting,butifyouwanttogiveyourreader
somethingmoretothinkabout,thereisnoreasonwhy
youshouldntuseconnotationsreaderswillusetheir
ownpersonalemotionsinassociationwithcertain
wordstointerpretthosemeanings.
Allusionmeanstheauthorismakingareferencetoa
subjectmattersuchasaplace,eventorpersonin
ordertomakeapointorgetamessageacross.Itcan
beareferencetoprettymuchanythingitcanbe
inferredordirectanditisinterestingwaytoengagethe
reader.
Forexample,bycomparingacharactertoMother
Teresa,whetherthroughdescriptionofdialogue,the
allusionisthatthecharacterinquestionissomeone
whoismorallysoundandgood.Ifyoucompared
somewheretolookinglikethedesolatesandsofa
desert,thenthereaderwouldsensesomewherethatis
barrenandlifeless.
Readanybookanditwillbesprinkledwithallusions.
Somearesubtle,somearequiteobvious,buttheyare
awayforwriterstomakeapoint,onesthatreaderswill
remember.
Assonanceisanotherliterarydeviceyoumayhave
heardof,butprobablydontrealisetheroleitcanplay
increativenarrative.Itreferstotherepetitionofcertain
soundsproducedbyvowelswithinneighbouringwords
inasentenceorphrase.
Althoughitisverysimilartoalliteration,assonanceis
abouttherepetitionofvowelsinwordsandis
particularlyattractivetopoeticorliterarywriters,who
spendagreatdealoftimeandeffortgivingtheir
narrativesuchflourishes.
Heresasimpleexample:Wavespushedagainstthe
bow,tocrushthesoundtoasimperinghush.Here
thevoweluisrepeatedinneighbouringwords,giving
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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

thesentenceaslightharmony.
Thethingaboutassonanceisthatisitaboutsound
andthewaywewantthenarrativetosoundtothe
reader.Itisyetanothercreativewaytoaddthose
lovelybrushstrokestootherwiseflatstorytelling.
Whatisamotif?Playwrightsandliteraturegraduates
shouldbefamiliarwiththisparticularliterarydevice,
becauseitappearsalotinplaysandliteraryworks.A
motifisanysubject,object,actionorsoundthatis
presentthroughoutthestory.Writersuseittoestablisha
moodoradevelopingtheme,somethingthatwill
resonatewiththereader.
Motifsarenottobeconfusedwithsymbolism,because
symbolsshouldappearonlyafewtimesinthestoryto
evokeimageryandemotionhoweveramotifisa
recurringelementwithinthestory.
Theycanbeanything,aslongastheyappearasa
constantthroughoutthestory,soforinstanceafull
mooncouldbeamotif.Orapaintingcould.Maybethe
oceanisthemotif,orevenacolourorsound.Just
makesurethatthemotifispartofthestoryand
thereforehelpsdevelopthemainthemeorcharacters.
Asprinklingofthesedifferentliteraryflourishesonly
enhancesandenrichesyournarrative.Somehappen
quitenaturallyduringthecourseofwriting,othersneed
somethought,buthoweveryoudoit,theyaddafresh
dimensiontothestory,themesandthecharacters.
Nextweek:Howtoavoidbadwriting
PO S TED B Y A J H UMPA G E A T S UN D A Y, MA R CH 16, 2014
2 CO MMEN TS :

L IN K S TO TH IS PO S T

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S A T UR DA Y, 8 MA R CH 2 0 1 4

LiterarydevicesImproveyournarrative
Part1
Whenwetalkaboutliterarydevices,itisreferringtothe
http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.in/2014_03_01_archive.html

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kindofelementsthatwritersemploytoenrichand
improvethenarrativeinordertogivegreaterdepthand
meaningtoastory.Inotherwords,theyhelpthereader
readbetweenthelines.
Someliterarydevicesareobviousmetaphor,
symbolismorforeshadowing.Butthereareplentyof
otherliterarydevicesavailablethatarelesswell
known,andsometimeslesscommonlyused,butthey
stillemphasiseandbringstrengthtothenarrative
thingslikeassonance,euphony,connotationand
allusionetc.
Literarydevicesarenumerous,andwritersdonthave
touseeveryoneinexistenceorusethemonevery
page.Theyonlyneeduseafewdottedthroughouta
noveltoenhancethestoryandgiveitdeepermeaning
forthereader.
Ineffect,theyaretheretobenefitthewritingasmuch
asthewriterandreader,ifwritersarewillingtouse
them.
Mostwritersrarelythinkaboutanythingdeeperthan
thebasicstructureandflowofthestory.Howmanyof
usconsciouslythinkaboutmetaphororsymbolism?
Howmanyofuspondertheassonanceofsentences?
Howmanyofusmuseaboutmakinganalogies,or
foreshadowing?
Theanswerisnotmany.
Butshouldwe?Thethingforwriterstorememberis
thatwritingisntjustaboutstringingastorytogether.
Somuchmoreisinvolved.Whilewecantalways
consciouslyremembereverythingthereistoknow
aboutthecraft,wecantrytorememberasmuchas
possiblewhenitcomestoaddingthoseflourishesat
editingstagetogivethestorymoresubstance.
Theyarethere,afterall,theretomakethestoryso
muchmorethanjustmerewordsonawhite
background.Iftheopportunityarisestocreatea
metaphor,doso.Ifyoucancreateassonance,thendo
so.Ifyouhavethechancetoforeshadow,thengofor
it.
Theliterarydevicesthatyouwillprobablybefamiliar
withareasfollows:
Metaphor
Analogy
Foreshadowing
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Simile
Symbolism
Characterisation
Alliteration
Letslookattheminmoredetail.
Almostallwriterswillhaveheardwhatmetaphoris,
eveniftheydontalwaysunderstandit.
Metaphorsareagreatwaytoaddcolourful
brushstrokestothenarrative,waystoengagethe
readerbeyondthewordstheyread.Theyareusedby
writerstomakeacomparisonbetweenpeople,things,
animals,orplacesandtheyrangefromthesimpleto
complex,butsomefamousexamplesarelifeisabox
ofchocolates,alltheworld'sastageandalightin
theseaofdarkness.
Eachoneoftheseexampleshasadeepermeaningif
youlookbeyondthesurface.
Analogyisalsoacommondeviceusedbywriters.
Theyareusedwhenevertheywanttoshow
comparisonsbetweentwodifferentthingstoshowa
similarity.Forinstance,likeafishoutofwaterisa
wellknownanalogy.Inotherwords,beingina
situationthatisalienoruncomfortablemakeyou
literallylikeafishoutofwater.
Foreshadowingisafamousliterarydevice,andoneof
myfavouritewaystoshowthereaderthethingsthat
mighthappenlaterinthestory.Itsnotjustabout
tellingthestoryoutrightitsaboutbringingeverylayer
ofthestorytolifeforthereader.Foreshadowingasa
literarydeviceisagreatwaytoallowthereadertodig
beneaththedifferentlayersanddiscoverstufffor
themselves.
Thesimplestexampleistheuseofdarkclouds
approaching.Thiscouldforeshadowbadthingsto
happenlaterinthestory.Theuseofaravenis
commonplacedeathalwaysfollows.Orperhapsyou
canuseitindialoguebetweencharacterswhomayhint
atsomething.
Simileissimilartometaphor,butworksslightly
differently,becauseitisafigureofspeechthat
comparestwothingsorpeople,butwhicharenot
similar.Forinstance,brightasabuttonisafigureof
speech,andwegenerallyunderstanditsmeaning
despitethetwoaspectsbrightandbuttonbeing
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AllWriteFictionAdvice:March2014

completelydissimilar.
Youdonthavetousesimile,butiftheopportunityis
there,thenaddit.
Anotherfavouriteofmineissymbolism.Iusethisalot
inmyfiction.Itallowsthewritertohintatcertain
themeswithoutbeingtooobvious,byveilingdeeper
meaningsinthenarrativeandmakingthereaderdelve
deeperintothetext.
Writersdothisbyusingcolour,sounds,objects,
weatherandsoon.Forinstance,Ifindtheuseof
colourtobequiterevealing,soIusethistosymbolise
differentthemesinastory,particularlythecoloursred
andblack,becauseoftheirassociationswithlife,death
ormortality.
Characterisationissomethingeverywriterwillknowall
about.Youprobablythinkcharacterisationdoesnt
countasaliterarydevice,butitdoes,becauseitisvital
toanystory.
Goodcharactersdriveyourstory,somakethemstand
out,makethemmemorable,makethemdifferent.Make
thereadercareaboutthem.Thebetteryour
characterisation,thebetterthestoryyoucreate.
Alliterationisagreatliterarydevice,andnotalways
usedtopotential.Wordsthatstartwiththesamesound
andareusedclosetogetherinaphraseorsentenceis
alliteration.Forexample,theskyseemedtosigh,soft
againstthebreeze.Thessoundmakesthesentence
comealiveitcreatesimageryforthereader.Orwhat
aboutclean,coldandclinicalorbeneathbarbed
bushes,hewaited...
Theuseofalliterationgivesapoeticfeeltosentences.
Withtheexceptionofcharacterisation,whichisa
constantthroughoutthestory,youcanuseanyof
thesedevices,butdontoverloadthenarrative.
Thereare,ofcourse,lessknownliterarydevices
availabletowriters,andarenotusedasmuch,but
theyreeffectivenonetheless:
Euphony
Connotation
Allusion
Assonance
Motif
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Inpart2welltakeacloserlookattheselessknown
literarydevices,andhowtheycanaffectthenarrative
inapositiveway.
Nextweek:LiterarydevicesImproveyournarrative
Part2

PO S TED B Y A J H UMPA G E A T S A TUR D A Y, MA R CH 08, 2014

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S A T UR DA Y, 1 MA R CH 2 0 1 4

HowtoAvoidAuthorIntrusion
Ivewrittenaboutthissubjectinthepast,butIkeep
gettingaskedaboutit,soitsworthanothervisit,
especiallyifyouarenewtowritingandyouwantto
understandwhatauthorintrusionis,andmore
importantly,howtoavoidit.
Newwriters,inparticular,sometimeshaveatendency
tointrudethenarrative.Itsnottheirfaultitis
sometimesdonewithoutrealising,andthatsbecause
manynewwritersarentarmedwithawealthof
knowledgeandexperiencetoalwaysknowthese
things.
Thatswherethebeautyofeditingcomesin.Wecan
spottheanomaliesandcorrectthem.Notonlythat,but
allwritershavedoneitatsomestageintheirwriting
careers,soitisquiteacommonoccurrence.
WhatdoesAuthorialIntrusionmean?
Inbasicterms,authorintrusionhappenswhenthe
authorlosessightofthestoryandspeaksdirectlyto
thereaderthroughthenarrativeorcharacters.They
inadvertentlyprojecttheirownbeliefs,opinionsorideas
intothestory.Inotherwords,anysocial,politicalor
religiousbeliefsshouldcomefromyourcharacters,in
contextwiththestory,andnotfromyoudirectly.
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Italsomeansthatsometimesauthorsunintentionally
projectthemselvesintothenarrative.Theauthor
becomesthestaroftheshow,notthecharacters.New
writersdothisalotbecausetheonlytruecharacter
theyknowisthemselves,ratherthancreatinga
multidimensionalcharacterfromscratch.Again,thisis
notuncommon.
HowdoIidentifyit?
Thebestwaytolookforauthorintrusionistofirstfinish
writingyourstory/novelandthenputitasidefora
while,perhapsaweekortwo.Youcanthencomeback
toitwithfresheyesandafreshperspective,andtreat
thestorylikeaneditorwould.Youwillsoonnoticeany
unwarrantedintrusion.
Sometimessuchintrusionsaresubtleandnotalways
overt.Theymayconsistofcertainwordsoraxiomsthat
seemoutofplacewithinthecontextofthestory.In
otherwords,theyjustdontfitwithinthestory,and
certainlydontfitwithyourcharacterperhaps
becausetheymaynotbewordsorphrasesyour
characterwouldeveruse.Learntospotthese.
Othertimes,asmentioned,theauthormightdriftinto
automaticmodeanddescribethethingsthey
personallyenjoy,projectingtheirownlikes,pastimes
orhobbiesintothenarrativeandcharacters,whenin
factthemaincharactertheyhavecreatedmayactually
bediametricallyopposite.
Youmightfindyourcharactersgoingonandonabout
aparticularsubjectthroughoutthestorythathas
nothingtodowiththeactualstoryorthemes,
particularlyinajudgementalway.Thatsintrusion
becauseyouareusingyourcharactersasa
mouthpieceforyourownpersonalviewpoint.
Heresasimpleexample.Ipersonallyhavenoreligious
belief.AsanatheistIdonotidentifywithreligion
howeverthatdoesntmeanIdontlikeit.Irespect
thosewhodohavebeliefs,becauseweareall
different.ThatmeansIshouldnothaveeverysingle
characterthatIcreatebeareligioushaterorsomeone
whoconstantlyrejectsreligion.Wecreatecharacters
withdifferentbeliefsandopinionstoourown,because
theyshouldbeasindividualasweare.Therefore,ifI
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havemycharactersgoingonabouthowmuchtheyare
hatereligion,thenIwouldbeguiltyofauthorintrusion.
Authorintrusionmightalsooccurifyourcharacterhas
knowledgeheorshewouldntnormallypossessin
ordinarydaytodaylife(unlessitreallyispartofthe
charactersmakeupandtheyjusthappentobe
superhuman,extraordinarypeople).Forinstance,a
lowlysalesmaninastoryaboutgreedandsuccess
wonthaveanencyclopaedicknowledgeofthelatest
militaryweaponsorwillknowhowtobreakintoahigh
securityfacilityarmedwithonlyasafetypin.
Thatkindofthingshouldstickout.Itmeanstheauthor
hasprojectedunrealisticknowledgeandresearchonto
thecharacterandthereforecompromisedthestructure
andcontextofthestory.
Inreallifeweallhavelimitedknowledgeweknowa
bitaboutalotofthings.Wemaylearnaboutcertain
subjectsthatinterestus,sowegainmoreknowledge.I
knowalotaboutfictionwriting,literature,artandthe
sciences,butIknownothingaboutcarengines,
engineeringorhowtocarryoutheartsurgery.
Beparticularlycarefulinhistoricalfiction.Dontletyour
modernviewscreepintotheerayouarewritingabout.
Itjustdoesntfit.
Andonethingwritersshouldneverdoisinterruptthe
narrativeandaddressthereaderdirectlywithinthe
story.Thiswasonceacceptableinliterature,butover
thelast80years,literaturehaschanged,andthiskind
ofintrusionisnolongeracceptable.
Learntorecognisetheseanomaliesinyournarrative,
huntthemdownandweedthemout.
HowdoIavoidauthorintrusion?
Onethingshouldalwaysbeclearfromtheoutsetwhen
writingyourstoryitbelongstoyourcharacters,not
youasawriter.Thatmeansyourpersonalbeliefs,
opinionsorideasshouldneverappear.Forthat
reason,writersmustneverusefictionasapersonal
soapboxorcrusadeagainstsomethingtheyopposeor
dontlike.
Inreallifeyoumaynotlikethewayyourgovernmentis
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runningyourcountry.Youmaynotagreewithwarand
conflicthoweveryoumustputasidetheseopinions
whendealingwithyourcharactersandplot.Yourmain
charactershouldnthateoneparticularpoliticalparty
becauseyoudontlikethem,norshouldtheybea
pacifistagainstwarwhenitsnotinyourcharacters
natureandtheymighthavetoengageinfightscenes
aspartofthestory.
Writersshouldtreatthenarrativeobjectivelyand
dispassionately.Yourcharactersopinionsmatter,not
yours.Theirbeliefsrelatetothestory,notyours.
Thismightseemstrange,consideringthatthe
omniscientnarratorwillknoweverythingwithinthe
story,butitshouldnotsoundlikethenarratoris
preachingasermontothereader.Thenarratoris
simplyrelayingthestoryobjectively.
Withexperienceyouwilllearntostandbackfromyour
fictionalworldandletyourcharactersspeakfor
themselvesandtoformtheirownviewsandopinions
aspartoftheongoingstoryitsanaturalprogression.
Yourfictionalstoryshouldneverbeaboutyour
personalagendaotherwiseyourstorywillfail.Editors
willeasilyspotitandrejectonthatbasis,becauseitis
asignofbadwriting.
Bethoroughwhenyouedityourworkandlearntospot
authorintrusion.
Nextweek:LiterarydevicesImproveyournarrative
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