MAY

M K , M I S S I O N A R Y A N D T H I R D - C U L T U R E A D V O C A T E

2015

MI C H L E S N E W S
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The Freedom of Permission

Some of you have asked what topics I cover when Im invited to speak. Recently, its been about permissions!
They have the power to restore freedom to MKs who feel burdened by unachievable expectations.
PERMISSION TO BE KIDS: Its no secret that missionaries children feel held to higher standards than their
peers. There is unrelenting pressure for them to be good. Be polite. Be friendly. And neverevercomplain.
When I was visiting with missionaries in Romania a few weeks ago, I asked the 11-year old boy why his family
had moved to Romania. He told me that he was there to tell people about Jesus. Perhaps the most meaningful
words I heard on that three-week trip were his mothers when she said, No, honey, mom and dad are here to
tell people about Jesus. Your job is to be a kid.
What a simply-worded, freedom-giving permission! Her son, a relatively new MK, heard from his mothers own
mouth that its okay for him to just be young. So he can talk back or stomp his foot or hate zucchini or
complain or lie and expect consequencesbut without the disproportionate shame too often levied on MKs
who are just being kids in the world of ministry.

Be shepherds of Gods flock that is under your care, watching over them not because you
must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be. I Peter 5:2
PERMISSION TO DOUBT
Faith is not an inherited conviction. Not all MKs are saved. Not all MKs
believe that God is real. Not all MKs view their parents faith in a positive
light. God is not a transferable commodity. Yet the pressure on MKs to not
only believe, but be exemplary in their faith is rampant. What unfair
pressure we put on souls whose perception of God has been complicated
by a ministry-saturated worldview.
Permission to doubt is more than mere processing-spaceits the gift of
honest grappling toward eternal outcomes. Parents need to extend it.
Communities need to extend it. Churches need to extend it. Adults and
peers need to celebrate it as part of Gods working in the lives of MKs.

I N C A S E YO U
MISSE D TH E SE !
A few articles on significant
topics. To view them, go to:

www.michelephoenix.com
Then click blog and scroll
down to the titles listed below.

Permission to doubt is crucial to an authentic faith.

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MKs AND ISOLATION

Choosing not to need hurts.

(With elementary kids at an MK school.)

PERMISSION TO FAIL
Demanding unreasonable exceptionality of MKs because their family
represents God sets them up for the worst kind of failure: one in which
their imperfection hurts their familys work and tarnishes Gods image. So
it isnt just a bad grade. It isnt just getting cut from the soccer team. Its
bringing shame on themselves, on their families and on God.

FIVE PERMISSIONS
MISSIONARIES NEED

Pressures that harm them.

Children will fail. Theyll do stupid things, theyll forget instructions and
theyll disobey rules. They need to know that mistakes and bad behavior
are not unforgivable flaws.
If were not careful with our words, we heap a spiritual burden on six-year
olds whose lives are already complicated by cross-cultural living, frequent
transitions and successive losses. The liberating balm of permission to fail
for young people who are often overly self-blaming cannot be overstated.

TOP TEN PRACTICES FOR

PARENTING MKs

Assumptions about singleness.

PERMISSION TO GRIEVE

Its no secret that the heaviest burden many MKs bear is the number
of goodbyes theyre forced to say in their early years. The mission field
is a transient place where someone is always leaving. The repeated
departures create an expectation of loss that colors both their entry
into new relationships and the nature of the friendships they form.
Until missionary parents and the missionary community as a whole
give permission to missionaries children to express and work through
their griefas ugly as it may get we will continue to see hearts
hardened toward God (on whom many blame their losses) and adult
MKs still crippled by their goodbyes in later seasons of their lives.

But waittheres more!

This is just a portion of my article on Permissions. The rest is on my blog, part of my campaign to write about
subjects weve too often dismissed or ignored. (Another post tackles the permissions adult missionaries need.) To
be notified when I add new articles, just email me (address below) and let me know you want to be on the list!

I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF PRAYER!

Praise for a safe and profitable trip to MK schools in Spain and Romania last month.

Praise for profound encounters with missionary parents and their children in the past weeks.

Praise for the chance to present MK needs at a symposium of Member Care workers in BC.

Praise for $80,000 raised for the Canadian MK Network at the event where I spoke in April.

Praise for another symposium next week where Ill speak to mission and church leaders.

Praise for the invitation to lead a session at Moody Bible Institutes orientation in August.

Praise for people like you who pray and give and encourage and upholdso grateful!

SERVING WITH GLOBAL OUTREACH MISSION

Mission: Global Outreach, PO Box 2010, Bualo, NY 14231-2010

Michle: 27W190 Emerson Court, Winfield, IL 60190

Email: shellphoenix@gmail.com Phone: (331) 625 9030

www.missiongo.org