HSTORY OF ASSERTIVENESS

The concept of assertion was simplified to saying no and getting your own way or
to standing up for your rights and getting where and what you want in bed, at work on the
social scene, and at home (Smith-1975)
Today assertion training is viewed by scientific and Professional comminities as a
powerful but limited techniqe that can be tremendous benefit to individuals when used by
well-trained clinicians who are coglisand of the complexities involved in helping people
achieve their behavior-chance goals.At is really a prototypical intervention fort he modern
world,vanded, while unneccesary in earlier times, dramatical the needs of people todays
technological chaotic, and unstablle environment.
Socrates argued that all voluntary acts were rational, in the sense that the person had
good reasons fort he action,and that it was impossible for a person to respond voluntarily in
ways antogonistic to good reasons.

2-WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?
Assertiveness is about self confidence which means having a positive attitude towards
yourself and others.It means being honest with yourself and others; and it is about respecting
yourself and others. When you are self confident and your behavior is assertive, you are open
to others and their views eventhough they may be different from your own.
Being assertive is essentially about respecting yourself and others. It is about having a basic
belief that your opinions, beliefs, thoughts and feelings are as important as anybody elses
and that this goes for other people to.It is about being in touch with your own needs and
wants but contrary to some misconceptions about assertive behaviour.It is not about going for
what you want at any cost.

a)Ten Points about Assertive Behaviours

1-It depends on expressing yourself
2-Showing respects to others rights
3-Being honest
4-Indirect and certain
5-Mutual equilibrim and benefit is important in a relationship
6-It is expressing emotions, rights, realities, thoughts and boundaries by words
7-Using non-verbal comminication for sending the message
8-It is not universal, it depends on the position and the individual
9-It is getting social responsibility
10-It is not the nature of the hunamkind, it can be learned
b)Being Assertive
Assertion is about being who you really are.Part of being assertive is about shifting our focs
from adapting the circumstances to focusing on what you want to create.These are the steps
of to take towards that end result.
1-Being assertive is focusing on your goal
Focusing on your goal concentrates your energy.It makes a lot more sense to focus on your
goal rather than to dwell on obstacles or problems which are getting in the way of achieving
that goal.In addition, if you are aware of and focusing on your goal you will also know that
certain actions,while not particularly enjoyable in themselves, are steps towards your desired
results.
2-Being assertive is being self-aware
Being self aware means knowing what makes you tick, knowing areas in which you would
like to change your behaviour and knowing in which ways yoare happy with the way you are.
3-Being assertive is being true to yourself
It means following your own path.If you dont know exactly what that is, making choices
will help you to find out.
4-Being assertive is building self esteem
It is about believing ourselves as much as we could.To build self esteem;

Identify the areas in which you lack self esteem, and find techniques which suit you
which you can use to build yourself up

Read boks which help you to affirm yourself

Be aware of negative messages you gie yourself and change them into posiive ones

Identify what you are good at, what skills you have, what your achievements are,your
qualities.Make a list.

Listen to relaxation and self affirming tapes

Tell yourself you are unique individual and that you owe it to yourself to do what is
right for you

5-Being assertive is nurturing yourself

It means looking after yourself, not expecting someone else to do it for you.It involves
making sure you have fulfilling and rewarding ; making sure you have enough pleasure in
your life; making sure you are taking steps towards your long-term goals; congratulating
yourself for things you do well.

3-TYPES OF ASSERTIVENESS
Passive behaviour
The person who behaves non-assertively in a situation does not assert his/her basic rights,
instead he/she allows others to infringe upon them.
Assertive behaviour
The person who behaves assertively in a situation asserts his/her basic rights.He/she takes
responsibility for them whilst recognizing and respecting to other persons basic rights.
Aggresive behaviour
The person who behaves aggresively in a situation asserts his/her basic rights at the expense
of the other persons rights.He/she does not respect that other person has rights.
Manipulative behaviour
The person who behaves manipulatively has a negative opinion of himself/herself and of
others.His/her behaviour is self destructive and destructive towards others.The person is
usually depressed and demotivated.
I am not ok,you are ok-----non-assertive behaviour
I am ok,you are ok-----assertive behaviour
Iam ok,you are not ok------aggressive behaviour
I am not ok,you are not ok---manipulative behaviour.