TREDFOR MODULE FOUR

(Draft prepared by Dr. Sembrano & Dr. Baring)

TOPIC/ THEME: BEING AND BECOMING A FAMILY AS A CHRISTIAN
RESPONSE TO THE CALL OF THE KINGDOM
OBJECTIVES:
At the end of the module, the student will be able to:
1. Understand the key concepts that revolve around being and becoming family
with respect to the call of the Kingdom in the path of discipleship.
2. Find out how marital love is celebrated in the context of ones sexuality by
inquiring about the ways by which couples express their love in marriage.
3. Show in diagram form the relationship of the various factors that
constitute the couples Christian response to Gods Kingdom.
4. Evaluate the quality of the contemporary Christian response shown by married
couples by articulating the vision of married life viz a viz the Christian
demands
NUMBER OF MEETINGS: 7th, 8th and 9th weeks (9 meetings)
MATERIALS/ EQUIPMENT
Bible (Mt. 19:5-6)
Powerpoint presentation (A picture of the first three years of Marriage and a slide
segment on Mother Theresas message regarding the urgent need to address the
inadequacy of love, warmth and affection in the family.)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Jim Carrey/ Kate Winslet)
Tanging Yaman, MMK (Maala-ala Mo Kaya) episode VCD copy
STUDENTS INITIAL IDEAS ABOUT THE TOPIC/ THEME:
* That Marriage is all about contract signing and having children; marriage
commitment can be cut.
* That marriage do not involve any other preparation besides the wedding plan
* That marital commitment automatically grows after the wedding
* That as long as the couple is frank about speaking their minds, marriage will be
Fine
*As long as there is money to spend, parenting should be easy to handle.
*Responsible parenthood is all about birth control.
*Family members do not necessarily serve in the social life of the people.
*Responsible couples are those who limit child bearing to two or less.
*Sex should only be done when there is a desire.
*Sex can be done without love; as long as there is love, sex can be done. Thus,

any two persons who are in love with each other can engage in sex.
*As long as a family does not offend other people, community laws, does not
intervene in other families affairs, the family is fine and morally upright.
KEY POINTS FOR UNDERSTANDING
(For Master Lecture Inputs)
1. Marriage as a Christian response to the Reign of God
a. That marriage is the sign of a covenant and that marital commitment is lifetime. It is
distinguished from a civil wedding, which is born out of a contract. The value of such
wedding revolves around the limitations set into the state sanctioned contract. However,
the Christian response to the reign of God constitute in seeing that Marriage is a
covenantal event. Within this context, marital commitment is a lifetime goal that sustains
the relationship.
b. That besides the wedding plan, there are other essential personal and couple
responsibilities that couple needs to participate if they are to sustain a marital
commitment in the way of discipleship. The couple needs to see how each personal
attitude affect their relationship and married life as a whole. The couple needs to
discriminate those attitudes necessary for a successful marriage and those that hinder
them from realizing the goals in the covenantal relationship.
c. That marital commitment needs to be sustained through couple effort and participation.
Here the student realizes that although the bond of love is received in marriage, it is still
up to the couple to demonstrate cooperation shown in particular efforts that are lifegiving and nourishing.
1. Becoming parents
a. The gift of parenthood
The human family is called to live as a community of persons and to image the
divine We of the Trinity (Shivanandan, 165). Families live in communion with one
another in a covenant relationship. Parenthood is the event whereby the family, already
constituted by the conjugal covenant of marriage, is brought about in the full and
specific sense (JP II, letter to families # 6-7). Marriages are not just for the sake of
having children. Filipino couples need to see their marriages as objects of attention and
nurturing (p122). For couples, working for intimacy is important insofar as it addresses
relational well-being. To the extent that relational well-being is significantly a part of
ones salvation or being whole, being nurtured in an intimate loving relationship is truly
desirable.
b. Responsible fecundity
The language of the body is expressed not only as the attraction and mutual
pleasure but also as a profound experience of the sacrum (the holy) which seems to be
infused in the very masculinity and femininity, through the dimension of the mysterium,

mystery (John Paul II,1986: June 27/July 4,1984). Through the language of the body in
conjugal love as the expression of the sacrament of matrimony, the spouses the great
mystery of Gods creative love for mankind (John Paul II, 1986: July 4,1984). Being
relational is the characteristic dimension of the body and of the human person as a
whole. Married couples are called by their sacramental marriage to be witnesses or true
prophets of spousal and procreative love through a correct use of the language of the
body (TMC). This understanding bears its marks upon serious issues about sex and love.
Today we find ourselves confronted by different positions of sex and love: Old and new
morality claims that sex and love are separate from one another. This separation is
expressed today in many stories expressing the lack of it or the limited encounters of
the couple. Today, such expressions have occupied stories depicting an incomplete or
even problematic love (115). From these expressions there is the challenge of finding out
the meaning of the relationship arising between love and sex in the context of marriage. A
strong position taken today about marital relationship is that couples should not limit
themselves to just one partner simply because love and sex are not integrally bound up
with each other; the other reason cited for the need to go beyond one partner is the belief
that happiness in intimate relationships cannot be limited to one spouse. Sexual
experimentation in the second reason is suggested.
2.Covenant as symbol of Communal and social commitment
On account of marriage as covenant and in the context of discipleship, couples are
called to assume an unreserved, committed loving attitude (96) that breeds life-giving
relationships. In this context, love expresses the fidelity of God to the spouse and the
spouse fidelity to one another in an exclusive commitment (113). On the other hand, the
celebration of marriage affects social life (122). Marriage and society are essentially
linked (123). The Latin word communio denotes a relationship between persons that is
proper to them alone; and it indicates the good that they do to one another, giving and
receiving within that mutual relationship (Shivanandan, 79). Marriage has social
dimensions intertwined with personal ones: the demand for personal fidelity to the loved
one.
c. The different dimensions of family life
The family is the context of cultural change (135). While the family is the
seedbed of the nurturance of life, it promotes a particular culture along the way of
discipleship. Thus, we find in the family the opportunities for cultural growth. Given its
social dimension, marriage and society are essentially linked (123). The dynamism
reflected in family life points out to the dynamic activity that feeds the immediate
community.
d. Family as church
The Church draws from the wealth of the bond in marriage the fullness of the
fruits of creation. Marriage brings to the fore the fruits of Gods creative deeds. John Paul
II calls marriage the sacrament of creation. The family is a way of being and becoming
church. Vatican II speaks of the family as the domestic Church. To be a domestic church

then is to live the way of the family. The family is the witness of the church in the varied
levels of family expressions. Hence the kind of life lived in the family is critically
important for the Church.
i. Quality of family life
While the family expresses itself as the witness of Church life, and while it
receives the mandate to participate in the process of evangelization, it benefits
from these through solidarity and charity. The more the family relishes its role in
discipleship, the more it is enriched in its life. Domestic order and discipline is
supported by a deeper motivation to nurture life within and outside of the family.
The vigor echoing in the life of family within, finds its meaningful expression
outside of the domestic church.
ii. Parenting for justice and peace
The family responds to the needs of the larger human community: the joys
and hopes, the grief and anxieties of the people of this age, especially those who
are poor or in any way afflicted, these too are the joys and hopes, the grief and
anxieties of the followers of Christ (GS 1). To be a family is to practice
hospitality. Hospitality practiced by families is solidarity at work as this is the
praxis of the covenant (129). Being for its members, the family is to become a
home for others (129). Hospitality is the attitude and practice of inclusiveness, of
welcoming and embracing, of meal sharing fellowship (132), and compassionate
response to a needy neighbor (132).
The socially transformative aspect of hospitality is culture (133). To
transform people is to transform their way of life (134). The family has a primary
and critical role to play in this task of transforming the culture (135). The family
as domestic Church and being the locus and agent of cultural change has access to
an opportunity for positive cultural change (135).
3.Marriage as Ordo
In our times: Orders is limited to those who receive ordination and are entitled to
enter into ministry. All the others, are not entitled, thus they belong to the unordered
groups. Ministry in this case, had been identified with the priesthood. The narrow use of
the term in 4th Cent: referred to a college of ministers; to belong to the church is to belong
to an ordo. Thus everyone exercises a ministry; when applied to the clergy, it meant the
recognized authority of persons whose lives and teachings guaranteed the communitys
roots in Christ (p.57-58).
Ordo then, is a quality exhibited by the Church as a result of following the example
of the apostles; by manifesting itself as the community of Jesus, the church demonstrated
a particular way of being in the world. In the year 1000: marriage became known as the
order of married people. As order, marriage has a contribution not only to life in the
church but also to the wider human community of society (122). Lumen Gentium, art.11

states: in their state and way of life Christian spouses have their own special gift among
the people of God (1 Cor. 7:7). Instead of way of life the Bishops then used ordo.
Ordo: a metaphor for the new in the sense of distinctive understanding of all
human and divine-human relationships revealed in Christ; it also referred to the new
situation, new arrangement, new set-up brought about by Jesus life, ministry, passion,
death and resurrection: the last is the first, to die is to live, those who lead should serve,
etc. (p. 57).
Marriage as ordo implies that the couples demonstrate the church as the community
of Jesus. Christian families are communities of faith. By living as a community of faith,
the couples live their marriage in such a way that their lifestyle promotes a new order.
Thus, as ordo, Christian marriage presents a new situation, a new arrangement, a new
set-up, etc. Christian couples delight in the goodness of life, accept and relate as equals,
persevere in nurturing, raise children like honored guests, etc.
PROCEDURE/ ACTIVITIES
MEETING A
Prior to the master lecture, the students will be watching an episode of Maala-ala
Mo Kaya or a film on family life. The film in this case, is only used to elicit particular
reactions or mindsets that students have regarding families, parenting and family roles.
After the film, the students will form triads to share their impressions about the movie in
terms of these areas: the role of parents, the love between couples and among their
children, and the relationship of families in communities. After some time, one of the
members will share to class the most significant observation they made regarding any one
of the areas discussed. The professor will take note of these on board. As soon as
everyone is finished, the professor will distribute the sheets of paper containing basic
ideas about the family (see table below). This will form part of their initial ideas about the
topic. The student is expected to give an answer by ticking their agreement or
disagreement of the items mentioned.
Table no.1 Prior knowledge data
ATTITUDE STATEMENTS
As long as there is money to spend, parenting should be easy to
handle.
Responsible parenthood is all about birth control.
Family members do not necessarily serve in the social life of
people.
Responsible couples are those who limit child bearing to two or
less.
Sex should only be done when there is a desire.
Sex can be done without love; as long as there is love, sex can

AGREE

DISAGREE

be done.
There is no difference between a married couples sex and two
unmarried couple having sex.
As long as a family does not offend others, community laws,
and odes not intervene in others affairs, the family is fine and
morally upright.
As they answer the items, let them think and write how certain are they and the basis for
their certainty regarding the answers (let them take note of this in their notebooks).
MEETING B / C
1. Ask students the following question: What is an ideal family for you? What should you
find in an ideal family? What are families called to do on earth? Do you think they are
called by God to give a particular response?
2. As students give their answers, write their answers on the board. Then ask them why
they have chosen those particular characteristics in an ideal family. Ask them why they
wrote the words that suggest the kind of calling families today are called to do. List their
reasons also on the board. Go on to introduce the topic by saying: You have mentioned a
lot of traits and ideas in identifying an ideal family, the purpose and tasks that families
should do on earth, and your beliefs about Gods call to families. These choices
necessarily reflect your personal ideas about families. What makes up then an ideal
family and how do these families live their lives as families?
3. Then ask the following question: How do you know that a family has the
characteristics of an ideal family? How do you know that those are (or are not) the tasks
that families are called to do? Can you truly consider these as responses of the family?
Gather the students answers and write them on the board.
4. (Context of Inquiry). Have each group do a role playing activity depicting: first, their
concepts of an ideal family and second, about the tasks of married couples as well as the
family as a whole. Divide students into groups and have each group come up with a
choice (as to, what a marriage should be (ideal) and, what should constitute the tasks.
Next ask students to write their answers in the Students Plan of Inquiry (see separate
copy: question Nos. 1a and 1b and column 1). Then have them share their answer and
explain to the class.
5. Continue to ask students: What factors/ reasons made you choose the choices you
made in your answers in columns one and two? Where did you get (or from whom) such
ideas? Why do you think your answer is correct? Have students answer question No. 2
and complete column 2 of the Inquiry Plan and then share their answers.
6. (Students development of questions) Go on to ask students: How will you know that
your ideas or choice is correct? What can you do to check or verify your answer? Have
the students answer question Nos. 3 and 4 and complete columns 3 and 4 of the Inquiry

Plan. Have them also state what kind of information resource they can use to search for
the answer and then let them share their ideas. Ask them to explain how they can tell if an
information resource is reliable or not.
7. Next ask them to answer question no. 3 and write in column 6 the questions they need
to ask in order to find the answer.
8. When students are done, have each group share their questions. Review the questions
and ask students if they think the questions are enough. Probe the questions by asking
other questions like:
(questions for context) Is the case of an ideal (Christian) marriage the same as
that of a failed marriage? Can we apply the same questions to both of them? If
not, what kind of questions can we ask specific to ideal (Christian) marriages and
specific to civil marriages?
(questions for multiple viewpoints) What would you consider as an irrelevant or
unrelated question? What makes you say so? Would there be irrelevant or
unrelated questions that may lead to an answer? What would such a question be?
(questions for evidence) What questions do you need to ask to help you accept a
particular answer?
9. Then ask students: If a theologian/ Marriage expert were to identify an ideal married
life from a casual relationship, what kind of questions do you think these persons would
ask? Why do you think the person would ask these questions? Discuss with the students
their reason for the questions they think an expert would ask. Continue to ask students if
some of the expert questions are also in their plan. If not, ask them to revise their plan in
the light of the experts questions.
10. Have the students classify the questions and ask them what name they can give to
each set of questions. Have them indicate what they think are the types of answers each
set can give. For example, will the answer be a fact? Would it be an explanation of a
principle? And so on. Then ask the following: How do you think the answer will compare
with your idea? If the answer was going to be different, what kind of questions will you
need to ask? In your view, will the answer be found only in a topic like family life and
Christian marriage? Why or why not?
11. The preceding may give students more ideas about what to ask. Have them add
questions to their plan. Then ask students to rank the sets in order of importance or
difficulty. Have students explain their ranking. Have students reflect on the process of
inquiry: For the past minutes, we have been writing and looking at our questions. What
observations or realizations do you have about the questions you developed? Ask them to
write about what they notice or realize about the process of questioning. Let students
share their reflections. Note their reflections on the board and sum up their observations.
12. (Students search for and validation of answers) Next let each group distribute the
questions in their Inquiry Plan to all the members. Assign each group member to find the
answer to the questions assigned to him or her. Encourage groups to meet before class

meeting next week and come up with a report of their findings. The report should contain
a clean copy of the Inquiry Plan with the listed questions and answer for each question.

OUTPUTS
(possibilities)
1. A paper (a case report or investigation) inquiring about how families today live their
vocation and social commitment
2. An analysis of films that portray good family practices and how these practices
articulate the Christian family ideals.
ASSESSMENTS
1. Using the students responses to table no. 1 data (whether they agree or disagree) and
then comparing it with their later responses and how they make sense out of their answers
after the inquiry process. For grading purposes, the following suggested points are
presented:
a. Student gets to check the correct responses in the table after the inquiry.
b. Student made relevant meanings in either explaining their change in response
(agree/ disagree) or explaining why they should now retain their answers
(agree/disagree).
2. The paper output can be graded according to the following criteria:
Criteria
1. Highly significant/ critical use of Resources/ references; highly
significant problem; Very relevant insights made in investigation;
Showed how the insights informed them about marriage as a
response in discipleship in excellent fashion.
2. Significant/ critical use of Resources/ references; significant
problem; relevant insights made in investigation; Showed how the
insights informed them about marriage as a response in discipleship
in a superior manner.
3. Not so significant/ critical use of Resources/ references; Not so
significant problem; Not quite relevant insights made in investigation;
Showed how the insights informed them about marriage as a
response in discipleship in a satisfactory manner.
4. Insignificant/ irrelevant use of Resources/ references; Insignificant
problem; Irrelevant insights made in investigation; Insights did not
inform them about marriage as a response in discipleship.

Percentage
4

3. Evaluation of their presentation of new knowledge. Here the student is expected to

demonstrate the change in their intellectual positions or appreciation of the concept as a

result of an informed inquiry process. Hence a one-page sheet containing the following
features will be provided:
a.
b.
c.
d.

Initial idea presenting the initial insights of students

Learning Learned insights
Resources the resources that helped in the inquiry process
New Idea new idea reflecting the transformed understanding from the inquiry
process

[here the student is graded according to how he/she demonstrates the graduation or
progression of the idea from the initial idea (a) towards the new idea (d).

REFERENCES:
De Riedmatten, Henri OP. 1968. Responsible Parenthood: Theory and practice. McHugh,
James Rev. ed. Marriage in the light of Vatican II. Washington, DC: Family Life Bureau,
USCC.
Bourg, Florence Caffrey. 2004. Where two or three are gathered: Christian families as
domestic churches. Notre Dame, Indiana: University of Notre Dame Press.
Garcia de Haro, Ramon. 1993. Marriage and the family in the documents of the
Magisterium: a course in the theology of marriage. 2nd edition, revised. William May,
trans [Matrimonio & famiglia nei documenti del Magistero Corso di telogia
matrimoniale, 1989. Milan: Edizioni Ares]. San Francisco: Ignatius Press.
Shivanandan, Mary. 1999. Crossing the threshold of love: a new vision of marriage in the
light of John Paul IIs anthropology. Washington DC: The Catholic University of America
Press.
John Paul II. 1986. The theology of marriage and celibacy. Boston, Ma: St. Paul
Editions.

--0o0-1. Marriage as a Christian response to the Reign of God

1. That marriage is the sign of a covenant and that marital commitment is lifetime. It is
distinguished from a civil wedding which is born out of a contract. The value of such
wedding revolves around the limitations set into the state sanctioned contract. However,
the Christian response to the reign of God constitute in seeing that Marriage is a
covenantal event. Within this context, marital commitment is a lifetime goal that sustains
the relationship.
2. That besides the wedding plan, there are other essential personal and couple attitudes
that are needed to sustain marital commitment. The couple needs to see how each
personal attitude affect their relationship and married life as a whole. The couple needs to
discriminate those attitudes necessary for a successful marriage and those that hinder
them from realizing the goals in the covenantal relationship.
3. That marital commitment needs to be sustained through couple effort and participation.
Here the student realizes that although the bond of love is received in marriage, it is still
up to the couple to demonstrate cooperation shown in particular efforts that are lifegiving.
4. That communication in marriage involves verbal and non-verbal communication and
both are necessary for a healthy marital life. Communication in marriage is essential in a
marital relationship. It is a significant component in the couples Christian response to the
reign. Bad communication can lead to faulty relationships. Open and good communion
often leads to healthy growing relationships among couples. Thus the need for an open
and sincere communication initiated by both parties (the couple) must be born in mind if
one wants to achieve

10