Professional Documents
Culture Documents
themselves. Ongoing and pervasive bullying affects self-esteem and the ability to
perform at school. Often the target suffers in silence.
The Bystander
Bystanders are the witnesses to a bullying event and are never innocent. Some
bystanders may be excited or entertained by the action. Other bystanders may think
that the bullying is cool and identifies with the bully. Other bystanders may believe they
will be spared as the bully is not turning on him/her. A bystander might believe that
speaking up would not help and that the bully cannot be deterred. At very least, the
bystander feels conflicted about his or her lack of action.
What do we do to address bullying in schools?
First, we need to provide schools where students are treated with respect in a warm and
nurturing environment. Clear limits and expectations by all staff members are essential.
The environment should have a clear consensus of what it means to be a good person,
that all members of the school community be treated with dignity and respect, and that
staff can be approached when there is a problem.
Secondly, we must teach the courage to face and overcome bullying in the face of fear.
Bullying is an injustice and imbalance of power. It takes self-confidence and strength
for a target to resist and avoid bullying. As adults, we need to help our students find the
strength to intervene when witnessing a bullying event and to care about the target. It is
not suggested that a student physically intervene in such an event, but to look for
assistance from an adult if necessary. Teaching our students that to be a bystander to
bullying and not doing anything to stop it is part of the victimization of a fellow student.
It is essential for us to help students to rise to the challenge to take safe and intelligent
action to protect themselves as well as others.
Gail DAurelio, Ed.S., LMFT is Clinical Director of the Boonton, NJ Campus of Sage Day
Schools. You can reach Gail viaemail or call 973-402-4700.